#547 - A Scientist Joins The Show

Welcome back to the basement yard. Frank, what are you doing smoldering and smithing over there? I'm trying to a clavicular looks max jaw max. I don't know. Oh, you're doing it too. Oh, that would have. Did you guys have a conversation before this? No, honestly, but I really appreciate you kind of picking up on my vibe here. I got you. I'm going to pick up your mess hat, but good job. Now you brought down my vibe. Wow. Who cares? You know, you don't. You didn't smell as good as you usually do today. How about that? Well, you didn't. Does he usually smell good? He does. Well, how does this fucking back smell? Yeah, that's it for Patreon and Patreon. It's a whole different thing to know that one. How do you smell me on the normal like. You walk by him. Yeah. So you get my like. Wait, with? Let me ask you this. Do you wear a cologne at all? No. Never. Not only for like events. Okay, but when you. So you have cologne? Yes. I have. And you wear it. Yes. How do you apply it? I go two sprays on these two fingers. I go like this and I go behind my ears. That's it? Yeah, that's what you're supposed to do. It's cologne. It's so many other things that I've never seen sprayed on your fingers. I remember. Because. I think you're never supposed to rub it. Oh, I. I mean, but then why do like the women do this? Why do women, why do ladies do this? If they are not supposed to, I follow the ladies lead, ladies. But you're not doing that. You're using fingers. But it's still the rubbing motion. Right. Why do you. Are you just using the fingers or someone taught you how to do that? I remember, because with my fraternity, there was like a. Like we. Like went through like etiquette, like proper etiquette things. And. What? Yeah, it was like you're not supposed to like walk into a room and people go. Oof! When smelling your cologne. It's supposed to be for people that get close. Yeah. It's supposed to be like a pheromone thing. Like they get close and they're like, "Whoa!" Which I guess the only person I would do that for is Becca, but like it's supposed to be like a. Not everyone can smell you from across the room. Right. You know. Like my father. I'm not kidding. 30 sprays. You're good at making that sound. Thank you. How do you apply? Do you apply? Um. Cross-section. Just one. Do you go and X? You put the CD in the. Why are you doing it though? You're doing it like a Pokemon trainer. Wait, you just do one, two, three. Oh, you go one, two, three? Yeah. I used to. I remember when like middle school and high school when I had. I would spray in the air and I would just walk through like I was gone. I've done that. I was like, "Ax, I would just spray my entire room and be like. Alright, yeah, yeah, yeah." But I like thought about this the other day because. How I usually do it is I just spray like here and here. And then sometimes like in my shirt. That was just like pure guess though. Yeah, I mean, I'm sure there are proper ways to do it. I looked it up. Oh, you did. I did. So like, please tell me I'm right. No one does this. I've never. And I've seen like a bunch of people do it like a bunch of different ways. No, it's. But they say I've seen two behind the ears. Yeah. And then one on the back of the neck because that's like a trail. Yep. So as you walk it kind of like. Oh, like you're a slug. Oh, sure. Like you're a slug yet? But instead of slug, you have scent. Gotcha. Instead of slime. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Slime is the word. Slime is the word I want to say. Oh, gosh! Yeah, it's a nasty word. That's gross. Oh my god, I got so much gush. Yeah, I used to, at one point, I had like. 15 bottles of cologne. Like there were like two Christmas's where my mom got me like three or four bottles each. I had Colombian. I mean, what were the ones that you had? Cologne? Yeah, because they were like for our age group, they were the big ones. I had a. Well, I didn't have any, but my siblings had like. Fierce, maybe a Cromie and a Fitch. Okay, I didn't have that one, but I know it's one of them. Curve. Curve was a big one? Curve was a big one. Do you remember Kira? No. It was like the skater one and you got it from like. Look up Kira, Cologne. K-I-R-R-A from like the mid-2000s. It was like at Paxon. Oh, yeah. And it was like you went in there to make fun of the skaters and get your Kira Cologne. Yeah, you don't remember this? No. Oh, yeah, baby. I might get some. Just to remember what I smelled like in the. Oh, wait, the top looks very familiar. What else? What other ones do you have? The Curve one is a classic. A med where's the DR one? Yo. You brought it up. Dracarnoar, I had that. Curve. I've had this one for quite some time. You've had Versace. Who the fuck are you? It's $140. I didn't know that. Oh, brother, that's nothing. It was good. That's nothing. There's some other ones that will get up there. Really? Yeah. Like, I bought one. I have a. What's that shit called? Fuck. It's like. Lolabo or some shit? Oh, I don't know. I don't know. I like the smell. It smells good. But yo, a med. Like, uses Cologne. Like, he goes after. He goes after. We'll go. Like, when we were on tour, we would go to a city. And he would buy a bottle. And it would be halfway done by the end of the trip. A three-day trip, by the way. Do you guys. Deodorant your balls? Hmm. Who's up? Who's down? What? No. Wait, you take your deodorant and you go. Well, it's a different deodorant and only sometimes. Do you do the one that's like the plastic ball and it's a roller? No. Because then you hold it up and it's like you like Microsoft paint under your balls. That sounds better. I might try that. Cool, right? You have a full, separate deodorant stick. And you do, like, your gooch and balls. Sometimes. Why? I feel like that's probably. I feel like that's probably smell like dog whistle. No, but it'll never. No, but it'll never smell bad. I mean, I'll be honest. Sometimes, my bunch smells like it got dragged by horse through human shit. Good god, lady. I mean, that's. It's a very. You know, hot, moist, tightly compact part of the human body. It's going to, you know, breed bacteria, which is what feeds on your sweat, which is what causes the odor. I feel like I'm getting piggybacked onto that. That does not happen to me. Well, well, you're giant balls. You got to fucking look through them and fucking you got to. How much you go. You go through a stick every time you apply. What do you do? How do you do it? Like, how would you do that logistically? Like, you just open up and you just get in there. Open up. Open up, what? But, you mean lift. Do you go from the front or do you go back towards the front? The front. So you, like, get in the stir-ups, hold your nuts and dick up, and then, like. Sure. It's much simpler than that, but, yeah. Try it and it gets. I open it up and I get. Stop saying, open it up. Yeah, brother, nothing is closed. Pull it open. Pull it open. No. Hands. Bro. My underwear. Wait, oh wait, so you don't do it naked? You do it clothed? Yeah. Actually, yeah. You're talking through and realizing it's stupid, right? No, no, no, no, no, no. I think it's gonna make sense. So you get fully dressed and you go, oh, forgot my ball, hello. Sometimes. Or my ball deodorant. Yeah, my ball deodorant. And then you undo your pants. Yep. And then what? You jam the stick in there? Pretty much. And you go under the balls? Under, yeah. Is it the same stick that you use on your underarms? No, it's a different stick. I'm saying is it the same like making model and stuff like that? Oh, yeah, same, same thing. I don't care. Oh, that's crazy. I mean, I'm sure they make ball deodorant. They do. I think, well, we're not sponsored, but some people do. Yeah, for sure. Smart man. I got you. Smart man. I've never heard of that ever. I've never done that. I mean, you were big on acts. I'm sure you, like, sprayed your eyes. Sprayed my bizzage. Are you kidding me? It would look like when you walk into a space station and they have to, like, yeah, you would spray the hell out of that. My pants would be smoking when I would leave my room. What is it that when you're young? Because I feel like I was like doing that too. What was I thinking? People were going to get near my penis. I'm fucking 12. You had to be prepared for any outcome of life. Bro, if a girl wanted to get near my penis at 12, I'd be scared to go home and cry. Yes, but like some of us weren't afraid. Oh, talk to me. I'm not saying that. I'm not saying that. I'm not saying that. I'm not saying that. Well, I needed my balls to smell good because I was ready for the action. I was ready for whatever curveballs life had thrown at me. I was walking out of the house a day that'd be like, you know what? This could be the day that fucking 2004 Carmen Electric comes up to me and she's just like, "Hunkahunkah." You know what, I agree. Thank you. You would agree. You ball deodorant wearing bastard. I just think that preparation for life is not anticipation of something. It is just simply preparation. I vigorously. What my ass a little bit. Big word for Elmo. I'm going to come over there and cut your head off. By the way, it's Cookie Monster today. Or Grover. He's full Grover. Elmo the other day. Talk to Grover. I don't even know who that is. Well, we're back to the basepin yard. Who's Grover? No, I don't know him. I don't know him. I don't know him. He's a president. I know who he was. I didn't know him. Yeah. Oh, that's him. That's Grover, baby. Super Grover! But, uh, continue. You kind of got his build, too. All right. We're not doing this. We're not doing that. If you want to play. If you guys want to play the game. Don't, don't. We will start playing the game, brother. Cubs you. That's for my Pokemon fans. Fuck it. loser. No, I feel like, yeah baby. That's true. What about that? That's you. That's the color, the color. It's actually kind of cute. What is that? A fucking bear. Yes, severe cold. Yes, it's an ice bear. Then it evolves into Obama snow. Show him that bitch. Bottom right picture. Obama? Obama snow. Like a Bomminal. A Bomminal. A Bomminal. A Bomminal. A Bomminal. I feel like Cologne is no longer as popular as it was when, like, definitely before our generation. And it's continued to die. I think that it's popular. Like a lot of people wear Cologne. I've seen, like, uh, TikToks of people that are, like, fragrance TikTokers and they have hundreds of that kid that's just, like, let me smell this. And he smells he's like, oh, yeah, I'm getting good and great and spice. Yeah, yeah. Good for him. Yeah, you know what I used to love to do when my mom would get a magazine. I would, they have like the, uh, sample tabs and you'd rip them off and I'd be like, I'd be sniffing the shell. Hell yeah. Hell yeah. I remember. Rubbered out my face. What's wrong with me? Have you? Have you seen those TikToks that are, like, people trying the different atomizers on Cologne's? Yes. Dude. It's like, look how good this one sprays. There's one that it sprays. Like, it's, it feels like just looking at it, it's scratching my back. Does that make any sense? Zero. Are you sure? Yeah. What do you mean? Like, just, like, looking at the speed ferocity and just intensity that it sprays. It's like, oh, that could scratch my back. And it feels like it's like, oh, yeah. Okay. I have a different appreciation for that. I do like when things are like spraying really well, like when I have a spray bottle, I'm like, oh, oh, oh, like, when you spray like a windex, it's kind of like, it's, it's, it's, and you're like, okay, this is whatever. But sometimes you get a good spray. Oh, when I have like an all-purpose cleaner. It's like, ooze, ooze. And it's like, oh, I gotta clean my whole apartment. I love, and then I love when it, like, for like one spray, it sounds like an 80-year-old smoker. It's like, ooze, ooze, urnch. Yeah. It's like, get it. Yeah. Like, oh, my, oh, yeah. That's the one. It looks like that. Scratch my back. So, fuck it. Wait, is there a bunch of these? All right. Let's see this one. That was, that's in a ridiculous sense. That's impressive. Yeah. I don't mind that. I don't mind that. That might be the one that I have to be honest. Super. Oh, that's a good one. That's a good spray. That's a good one. That's a good spray. Show us something nice now. Yeah. Okay. It stays in the air for a while. I appreciate it. Oh, that's like a shotgun. That's like a shotgun blast in the back of the neck. Oh, I hate that. That's a hundred out of ten. Oh, actually, I like it now. No. I don't like that. It's like it's spitting in your face. Poof. What the hell is that? When I see this thing dribble at the end, I'm going to be mad. Yeah. It's disgusting. There are other ones that are just a little bit. That is a giant spray. That's so good, dude. I feel like that much cologne would really, you know, it was all you would need a year. Yeah. I was just insane. You don't need eight streams coming at you like a hydro pump. Yeah. That's my, my second Pokemon reference of the day. I'm sure there's going to be more in that way. Yeah. Absolutely will. But let's, let's get back. Let's get some vintage X kilo body spray. You think we can do that? I never, I barely liked it back then. Oh, man. I would spray. You know what I would do also? I would spray it into my shoes. That was, I think, yeah, but I'd fill my shoes. I mean, that was probably a very normal thing to do because our feet probably stunk. Do you know, have you ever smelled a mothball? I love that smell. I kind of like it too. I love because we used to, at the end of the summer, put them in the, at the cabin. And we would, what are they supposed to do? Keep away moths. Bingo. But people put them in their shoes. Maybe for the smell. Yeah. Yeah. They also smell like that thing that they like swing around at church incense. You know what I'm talking about? The fucking like, yeah, like lantern mace that they got going on there. I fucking love that. Like incense in church. Best part of the church. The smell of the church. Yeah, I was there. Yeah, I love the smell of mothball. My dad just had mothballs in his shoes. When you sprayed your shoes with acts, did you spray so much where it looks like there's a little fog in the shoes? Yeah, yeah. Cool. I mean, that's the whole reason I was doing it. It's the way to do it. I would hold it up to the light and be like, oh, look how fast I am. It's ax spot. Like, I know, because I ran so fast. Like, I know, like, they have like acts body wash. And I think deodorant is body spray still a thing? I'm sure. If it was, it probably is. The ones that had that twist can, whether it be the twist can or just like the regular, like, I'm sure. I'm sure. I mean, is the deodorant that that was there was deodorant and body spray? Like, is that what was different? Yeah, of course, deodorant body spray was just for fragrance deodorant is supposed to be like anti-perspirant or, you know, deodorant. Yeah. Right. You know, anti-odor. Yeah. Yeah, no, I've never, I've never really part to take and do you have any like funny or interesting cologne stories from like any time you applied it or anything like that? No. No, not really. I mean, I definitely, the first time I did it, um, I had a bottle that didn't have a spray. It was like, you're supposed to just like kind of down there. Oh, and I went a little overboard by accident. Yeah. I've done that. And my hand was just stinking. I mean, my dad, you've definitely smelled it. It smelled your dad. Yeah. I mean, I've smelled your dad. Yeah. He had this cologne. I forgot what's the gray flannel and it's called gray flannel. Yeah. And he, the mixture of that smell because he would put a lot on him and the combination of his hair gel. This guy smelled like a fucking nuclear power plant. Yeah, like it was impossible to not smell him coming and going all the time. What about, um, are you a fan of car air fresheners? Uh, I, I mean, I like air fresheners. I like good air, but I don't like the smell of new car. I, that's that, that, that smell gets me sick, honestly. Really? Yeah. I don't like it. I think it's a hot take, I think. Really? I don't like, I don't, I mean, it's not a take. I'm not saying it's bad. I'm just saying, I don't like it. I don't love car air fresheners. Like I know, like everyone loves the black eyes. But see, that doesn't make sense because like you like air, like you like air smelling good. No, I'd rather air just be like neutral. I don't want it to smell bad, but I don't need it to smell like a thing. Like you can lip this smell is good, but I don't want my apartment or my world to smell like you can lip this. Oh, like you can lip this and mint that combination could bend me over and just spit me if it wants to. Yeah, in a steam room, maybe, but like if you're in your apartment, your whole apartment smells like that. I'd be like, this is so intense. That's so interesting that you say that because I feel like the first of all, once you're in it, your body gets used to it and it doesn't smell like that unless you were like walk out and walk back in it. You can always feel eucalyptus like in your sinuses. Like mint, like mint is sharp. Mint burns the sinuses 100%. Yeah, it does. It'll get you. Do you know the square ones, the gel ones that people attach to the, yeah, the for breeze one? Those I hate. Why? If you're driving too long after a while to smell like it starts to hurt almost, if that makes sense. I don't like them because of how quick they go. If that makes any sense. Like I want like, give me an air freshener that lasts months. Like those ones that you put in like the air vent. I put them on the lowest setting and they're still gone in two weeks. I also just don't think that looks nice. Oh, you're a big aesthetic guy. Not really. Like, you know, but I just, when I get into someone's car, I would rather it not smell like anything. Like that would be like my idea. Yeah, but that's not the experience that most people have. Like a car, if you think about it, it's a confined space that doesn't have a lot of air flow unless you're driving with the windows down all the time. I mean, I would, I would say that most of my car experience is pretty neutral. Like it's rare that I get in the car and I'm like, what the fuck? But there's other times we'll get in the car and I will clearly smell the freshener. And I'm like, all right, really? Yeah, I'm just not, I don't know why. That's, that is a strange like, and so you don't do like air fresheners at the, at the apartment. Like you don't do like spray or. Um, if, if, well, when we clean, there's like that smell from like sprays or stuff like that. Yeah, I'm not saying that. I'm saying like a candle person. Like I'll, I'll light a candle. I mean, but that, that does the exact same thing in just a different way. I agree. I just think that they're different because the sprays and stuff are like have more of a, it's, it's more of a hurt. It's more of like a sharpness. It's more of like, like it's the, the scent is attacking you compared to just like lingering like a, like a candle. Yeah. I also, if there's a candle on my apartment and I walk in, like obviously if you're in the apartment, you don't really smell it because you're like kind of, uh, adjusting to it being there. But when I first walk into my apartment and I can, I smell a candle, I don't really enjoy that. Like I, I will enjoy it when I start to adjust to it and it's not as intense. But when I first walk in, it's like I smell Christmas cookie, like this is crazy. But food, however, that I'm very into it. Well, I think because you know that you can control the scent in the air through the candle compared to the food. Like the food is a little more temporary. Like, you have to like. - Look it again in order to get that sent back. - I think I just like the smell of food. - Yeah, duh. - I mean, I like smells across the board. - Barts? - Okay, gotcha. - But I hate farts as an entity. So I hate when it comes with them, which is the shitty smell. - As an entity, yeah. - Right after, so on Garbage Day where we're cleaning, right after I put out the garbage, I'll open up my front door and my back door at the same time, create a wind vortex, get all the smell out, and then I'll clean it. - Bro, I came home one day. - Thank you fucking so much for bringing that up. I came home one day and it was not long ago. - The dead of winter, it's like maybe 20 degrees outside. And the back door is open, several windows are open, and I go to back, I'm like, what are you doing? She's like, oh, I'm burping the house. I'm like, what? - You probably hated that terminology. - Dude, I fucking, I was like, discuss it by your own home now. - I mean, I hate the word burp. It is a shitty word. - Burping is worse than burp. - But I was just like, I was like, what? And she's like, I saw a thing that like, there's stale air in your house and you need to burp it in order to get fucking, and you know, every time she said burp, I cringed, yeah. And I was just like, I love that tick-tock and really sent her down a path. - Yeah, she went fully down. Like, that's not the first time that's happened. I love her to death, but she is like, very susceptible to those like, tick-tock trends. But like, yeah, she was like, I saw a tick-tock and they said, you have to burp your house once every couple of weeks. - That is a real thing though. - Not that you have to burp your house. I've never heard that term, but like. - I mean, if you have a working ventilation system, doesn't that do that? I don't know. - I mean, if you have like, what's that called? - Central? - Central air. I don't, I think that's like more of like an AC unit that's kinda distributed. It's not necessarily like bringing air from the outside. I'm sure there is air, like. - I mean, I think that is exactly what it does, like 'cause when you have central air, which we have now, there's a big vent on the outside with a fan, but that's where the air's coming in. - Yeah, so it's fresh air coming in. - When it's on. - Yeah, but what you think your house just doesn't breathe? - No, it does, but it's like- - Like, you do get just like, I mean, in the winter, everything's kinda like closed. - No, dude, there's also other ways. Like, do you have everything sealed? I don't know. I mean, I'm sure there's like some seepage, but you gotta, if you wanna like reset, like let's get some fresh air in it. - And see if you hated seepage. - That's just tough. You don't like seepage? - So I've accidentally been burping my house. I think that's the thing. I mean, I do like, like Becca will do that during the spring in the summer, where she'll open the front in the back door and you get a vortex, and it's a beautiful thing. Sometimes I'm not careful, my paper towels will fall over. - Oh, we didn't. - Thanks for adding that. - Yeah, wow, like, who cares? - Who cares, we need that. (laughing) - Show like that happens though. Like, all the doors of my apartment when one of the windows open, slam. - Yeah. - Is that happening in? - Yes, that happens. - One window could be open. I step outside, bang! I'm like, yo, and it'll scare the fuck out of me. - I'm thinking fucking to close slam and doors. I'm like, what? (laughing) - The windows open, she goes to the bathroom and slams. I'm like, what the hell? (laughing) - Yeah, I think that one of the kids like fucking close the door on their hand or some shit like that. - Yeah, it's terrifying. - Yeah, but I get what she was trying to do, but I think that like, in her calling it burping, I was just like, I'm not allowing this. So I was like, shut the doors. I'm not burping. - Believe us, our stale air. Apparently it is a thing like with like, really, really big like expensive houses, they get like pressurized, like a plane? - Yeah, like if they have like, 'cause we know our contractor, we were talking with like, I like joke with him about it. And he's like, there are some like multi-million dollar estates that like, they have such a well functioning, like air ventilation system and like, all their windows are like super new and sealed and high-end and like the doors and blah, blah, blah, that like, that's a real thing. That like, there will be a sense of pressure. So like, that's why like, sometimes you'll like, open a door and it'll go like, scat. Like a coke can. - That is crazy. - Yeah, but I mean, burping it is stupid. - Yeah. - So I was just like, you wanna go in the back of the house and pat the fucking back of the house up? - Yeah. - No, also you mentioned plane. I was like wondering this for you guys, but I'm gonna create a hypothetical situation for you. If you are in a city, you're not home. - Just wanna be, we are flying in a couple days. So please be very cognizant of that anxiety. - It's not that, okay. So let's just say that we're in like Denver, which is like, what, four hours away? Let's just call it whatever is exactly four hours away. And then you're on the plane on the way home and they come on the thing and they're like, we need someone to get off. We're offering this much. What's your cutoff? And there's nothing that you need to be home for. Your cutoff like minimum? No, like, yeah, like what is an amount that you're like, I'm getting off this plane, take it out money. And you get on a later flight like that day. And I'll say this, the flight that you're gonna get on is like five hours from where, like now. - So there's a five hour wait. - Yeah. - And then it's the normal like duration of the flight. It's not like it's like a connecting flight. - No, no, no, it's a direct flight. It's the same flight just five hours later. - What was I doing in Denver? - See, come on, man. - Why does that matter? - Because I'm planning that I would take half of what my trip was. - It's up to you, I don't know. - How much was the flight? 'Cause that's a big part of it too. Like, is it gonna be more expensive than what I, is it gonna be more money than what I paid for the flight? Like am I walking out? - I mean, you're paying for the flight regardless. - Yeah, but if I pay, say the round trip, hypothetically, not that this happens much anymore, but say the round trip is like 500 bucks. - Okay. - And they're saying, we'll offer you 600 bucks. I'm in the green there. So like, if anything, I've made money on the trip. - So let's say it was, let's say it was 500 bucks. - I think I'd do 1.5 times. I'd be fine with 750 and you would get off and be like, I'll wait. - Yeah. If I have no reason to get home and I'm just getting, and I'm gonna be walking away up, I think 1.5 times whatever you paid for it is fine. At five hours, you start adding more time on there, then we're talking more money. - You never take the first offer. - It's not the first offer. It's like, they could take you off. - I gave what I, got it, got it, got it. - Like, there's like an amount that they'll say and you're like, fuck that, I'm taking that. - I like the math, I like 1.5 times the flight. - I think a flat, 1000, a flat flat. - Wow. - That, that wow. - Yeah, that wow. - So you're telling me that if your trip is over, if the flight is over $1,000, they offer you 1,000, you're good with that. - I see, 'cause then the math goes away. - Yes. - Profit 1,000. - Profit 1,000 is crazy. - There's almost no way, yeah, there's no way. If you're going to like Japan where it's like a $1,200 ticket, they're not gonna be like, we'll offer you $2,200 probably. - Yeah. - Tens how desperate they are, I guess. - I mean, if anything, they will grow out of that plane before they give you $2,200. - Oh yeah, I'm not planning, I get that. - It infuriates me that that happens because like, I'm sure there's a business reason to it and big airplane will come on here and tell us. - I think it's more about weight. Like, when the, when, but why do they, why? They should book one person per seat. No, but I'm talking about, it's about weight of like a cargo. Like, if all of our luggage is just more than whatever, 'cause you know, you could pay, like when you go, especially on a bigger flight where you, by the way, this is based on nothing. Just like 90% of what we're talking about. - When you bring your luggage and it's like, it has to be like under a certain amount. I think you pay a fee if it's above that. So if enough people are doing that and it's like, oh, well, it's a full flight and the luggage, like the plane is too heavy, plus the fuel, like we just need some people off. So you're telling me that like, the reason that you pay an extra $50 if it's over 50 pounds luggage, is because in theory, enough people will do that to justify pulling one person off that plane. I think it's too, like the reason why you pay a fee there is so you avoid people just bringing like hundreds of pounds of luggage. Yeah, but then, but in, but also in theory, if five people bring a hundred of 50 extra pounds, it comes out to 250 extra pounds. - Right. - The amount that it would cost could be the amount that a ticket would be. Sure, maybe that's part of it too. I mean, like there has to be a limit, but I think it's between that and they also overbook flights. I don't know how that's possible. - I hate, I'm knock on wood that is yet to happen to me, to be overbooked, to be overbooked, where it's just like, oh, sorry. It's like, mm-hmm, I booked. Like I will go full Karen and that's it. Well, I don't think they kick you off the plane. You, they ask people to get off. Yeah, but that's someone else over, they overbooked so someone else that also booked is fucked. - Yeah, like that happened to me and Danny. - What happened? - They overbooked and we just didn't have seats. Like we got there, we didn't have seats on the plane. - Well, if you, if you do that, so if you book, there's like different classes, I guess. But like, yeah, it's like main and then main plus or, I don't know, something like that, where it's like, One of them is a little cheaper and you don't. don't have a seat until you show up to the gate. So that's the risk that you run. - Yeah, well I never make in that mistake again. - Right, that's never happened to me and I've flown like a main cabin, or a standard, whatever it is. - Yeah, they offer us money though. - But you have a seat. You've booked and like got the. - But why, can I, but why does that happen where like then they go, you don't have a seat? - Because that does happen, I don't know. - That does happen. - I think like just part of the risk you run. You get a discount. - I think it's, I mean, again, I'm sure someone that works for the fucking FAA is gonna be in the comments. Just be like, let me tell ya. - It's probably more complicated. - It probably has to do with like the inherent risk of someone backing out or not showing up. So like, it's probably like on average 1.8 people just don't show up for their flight. So they'll book three extra to like just take that risk. And it ends up, if anything, making them more money because they're booking it and then they can just throw 'em on another flight. - Can you look that up? - Yeah, I am. It's pretty much what you're saying. It's just a practice that started in the '50s and it's just them compensating for people who cancel flights. - It's insane that like they can't eat one seat. Like whatever that would cost. - Well, I especially then, how much was it taken in 1950? - Oh my God, look up what a round trip ticket to Boca Raton, Florida is. Don't ask me why, that's where I am. - In 1950. - Oh, is that right? - Or like the average ticket price in 1950 and the average ticket price now, because we know it's ridiculous. But back then, it was also a different flying experience. It was just like, you could fly for 30 bucks, a round trip ticket in the '50s from New York to Florida was 75 bucks. - Crazy. - But also, you're sitting next to someone who's ripping darts, dude. - Yeah, I'm talking like you are getting hot boxed with tobacco. - And you're in a suit. - Yeah, did you see that there was, I don't know if it was an airport. I think it was the Tampa airport banned pajamas. - Yo, I'm kinda into that. - What? I mean, I'm not showing up with the cookie monster pyjamas and fucking SpongeBob slides. - Well, people are. - That sucks. But like, where are we cutting off pyjamas? Like, I show up in basketball shorts and slides sometimes to some flights. - Yeah, I think, yeah, I think that's okay. I just don't think like pajama pants and like fuzzy slippers is like, yeah, like you're in pub. I mean, that's not even just for the airport. I think anywhere like outside. I mean, I personally wouldn't wear that. - I mean, that was like a mean that was born in our age bracket for people in high school. Like, everyone remembers the kids that would show up. - It was mostly girls that would show up the high school in the SpongeBob pajamas and, yeah, you know. - I have a clarification here of what? For the price ticket of the 50s. It's equivalent to 1,000 to 1,200 today. It was technically more expensive than back then. 40% more expensive because of just how difficult it was for planes to fly. - Is that so inflation? So when they take inflation to a counter, oh wow, that's pretty interesting. - It's actually more expensive back then 'cause planes weren't as efficient. - Wow, ratio was. - Yeah, because people were making less planes too. Less planes, less flights. You know, I'm sure they were also less technologically advanced. - Yeah. - All right, let me ask you a serious question. If someone were to like do, if we were to get a brand deal with like Delta. And they were like, we want to fly you somewhere and you may content, but you're flying on our vintage 1950s plane. - You doing it? - No. - No. - No shot. - I thought you were gonna make it something easy like getting the cockpit. I'm like, I'm dying to be in a cockpit. - Oh yeah, that would be cool to see a cockpit. I'm waiting for a fucking pilot to recognize us. - Yeah, like, give me my wing. Oh, my sister was on a plane. They went to the Bahamas and the kids got little wings. I was like, I didn't even know they did that anymore. - I got one of the like, air attendants. What are they called? Flight attendants. One of the flight attendants recognized me and gave me a bag of candy with like a little like United pin on it. And it's like the United logo and like-- - A bag of candy, yeah. - Were you with your children? - So low-dow-low, baby. - Wow. - And buy my sissy. That's nice. - Yeah. - But oh man, a pilot was just like, you want to go check out the controls? - Oh my god, dude, I love the show. We listened to it when we're flying. First of all, I wouldn't, that actually would make me feel worse. I mean, they're not even doing anything. Somehow, it would still make me feel not good. Imagine they're flying the plane and then they just hear my roar and they're just like, fuck. Well, they're not flying the plane. I know, they're just like-- - So scary. - I would like to go in there and just like keep my hands in my pocket and just go, whoa. I'd get in the seat, put the hat on. - Oh, really? - Yeah. - I don't think you could take pictures in there, can you? - Probably not. - Did someone get in trouble for this? - Charlie Sheen, I was gonna say, was it Katy Perry? - No, it was Charlie Sheen. Katy Perry has been randomly getting in trouble for stuff lately. - He was like hammered and like high off coke and they let him in the cockpit. - Well, hold on. - What? - The first two parts were probably why he got in trouble. - No, no, he got in trouble because the pilot got in trouble 'cause they let him, and he took, so here's the story with Charlie Sheen is that he was like high on coke and like drunk or something like that. He was on the plane, they recognized him and then they let him in the cockpit and they put him in the seat and then they took the autopilot off. So now Charlie Sheen is driving the plane and he goes and I took the wheel and I just went like this and the plane moves a little bit and the pilot was like fire, I got a lot of trouble for him. - Well yeah, absolutely. I mean, wasn't there also the story of him on a private jet where he was just like, how much do I have to pay in damages to smoke cigarettes and they were like $10,000 and he was just ripping things. - He's like, I'll do it. - Yeah. - And Jessica told that story and crazy, I can't name a celebrity that this is dual ended, double sided. - You know what, before you get into the double sided, let's get into the, let's get into something else real quick. We do have a new sponsor for today and you're looking at it, ladies and gentlemen, this is Angry Orchard, okay? This is a hard cider, all right, and it's delicious. It's the number one hard cider in the country, okay? There's two apples in every bottle, all right? Let's keep that in mind. It's crisp apple, which is what this one is. Yep, crisp apple. It's the leading style tastes just like biting into a fresh apple. You get a sip of this, it's like, hmm. There's two apples in here, but yeah, it's amazing. 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I thought you came up with don't get angry, get angry orchard? - I mean, I did. I thought it was gonna be like that, like Romeo and TikTok moment where it's like, ♪ Talk to papa baby ♪ ♪ It's good and nice that it'll loop ♪ - I really did try to open that. - Yeah, you really, and you really, I could see the dent from here. - Well, you're supposed to use a bottle opener. - Wait, what the, what the, what the, what the, what the, what the, there are people that use their eyes and shit like that, which is crazy. - Yeah, but they're, you know, yeah, crazy. I was gonna ask a double-ended question. - Right. - Let's imagine everyone has the same exact training. The training is not like they're the best in the world, but they are adequately trained to fly a plane. Name a person, a celebrity, an athlete, whatever, that you would be the most confident in landing that plane, and then the inverse, the least confident in landing that. - You just said we all have the same training. - Yeah, but I mean, you still have to take into account who the individual is. Like, for instance, I would really trust, definitely not you. Are you kidding me? You'd be hammered. - Me? - Yeah. - I could land on it. - I would really trust, who would I trust to land this plane? - Matt Damon. - That's a great pick. That's a really good pick. - Did he go to Harvard? - Might have. - Denzel Washington? - That's a good one too. - He landed, he inverted that plane. - He landed that plane drunk, didn't he? In that movie? - Tom Hanks. - Tom Hanks, I was good. - I was thinking Tom Hanks where I was trying to go up with someone new. - Is that a boat or a plane? - No, that was captain Sully Sully. - Oh yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. - Or maybe I would just choose a pilot. - Yeah, but like, it's not what the question is. - Right. - Samuel Jackson dealt with snakes on a plane. - He did deal with snakes on a plane. I'm thinking though, like, who is responsible enough to be like an awesome plane lander? Like, Gibbs off responsible too. - David Diggs, you know who David Diggs is? - No, from Hamilton. - Oh yeah, he would be, I feel like he would be good at landing a plane. - How did you, he just looks like he's just got his life together. - Idris Helba. - That's a good one. That's what I'm talking about. - Yeah. - Ant, I think Bill Bird is a pilot. - Yeah, he flies helicopters I think. - I would better than, he said we all have the same training. - Oh, yeah, it doesn't matter the helicopter or plane or anything, everyone has the same. I would also, I would put Bill Bird on my, I'm a little worried here. - Why? - 'Cause I can see him, like, just being pissed about something. Like, he's flying to, like, fucking Buffalo. And he's just like, fuck this place. - Yeah. - And you know what I mean? - Uh, so who's the least? - Well Charlie Sheen's up there. - And I'm talking 2006 Charlie Sheen. I'm not talking 19, you know, 2026. - I put my dad up there, just 'cause I've been in the car with him a lot, and I know that he likes to do everything except drive. - Yeah, you don't like your dad as a driver? - He's a good driver, we've never been in an accident, or at least I've never been in an accident with him, but he does do everything but drive. Like, he like looks for stuff, he talks, he's back here. Check it for whatever, and I'm like, just, really? - You know what I mean? Yeah. I would not trust, man, this is a tough one. - I would say either of the Paul Brothers. - Why? - I don't know. - I'm a Gregor. - Yeah. - Oh, that's a good answer. - Yeah. - I don't think I trust the one. - I'm a Gregor, I'm not, no way. - Reasons to not trust him in any capacity. - Still a pull. - Exactly. - Ooh, I would trust Morgan Freeman a lot. - He's getting up there, yeah. - He's getting up there, but he still has it. - Yeah, but I know, but like a, you know, bad turbulence. - I wouldn't hold he is. - I wouldn't trust like Puccino. - No. - No, he's dead. - He's getting there. - Oh, yeah, like he's like, I was like, do you know something I know? No, no, no, no, like he's, you know, he's knocking. - Yeah. - Morgan Freeman is 88. - That's wise. - He was born in 1937. - That's crazy. - Dude, he's not that much younger than my grandmother. You know what's crazy? I heard recently, who's dead. Dead, you know? - Yeah, she's gone. - Yeah, like filthy like gone, filthy is crazy. She hasn't seen his last like 10 movies though. Oh, who Morgan Freeman's? - Yeah. - I think Morgan Freeman has probably done more than 10 movies since your grandmother died. - Since 2012, you think? - Pull up the filmography, babe. - No one cares about that one. - Yeah, all right. - When it was Bruce Almighty, it's all that matters. - That was in 2005, I believe. - So she saw that one. - I mean, everyone saw Bruce Almighty. That was a great movie. - Sure. - Oh, the one I was trying to say is I saw like a thing that was just like Samuel Jackson didn't like get his breakout role until he was like in his 40s. I'm like, how old is Samuel Jackson? - He's old, right? - He's, I mean, he's in his 70s, I believe. - Bro, he also has one of the most impressive filmographies. Samuel Jackson? - Yeah, he does. - He's like in all the Quentin Tarantino movies. So those alone. - Those are good. - 77? - Wow. - It's a real shame that he's a weird fuck. - He's like doubling down on how weird he is. - He's just like a weird fuck. But the movies are good, but he's a weird fuck. Jackson or Tino? Tino. - Oh yeah, he's weird. - Oh yeah, Samuel Jackson. Not only do I not think he's weird. I wouldn't call him weird 'cause he'd come here and beat the brakes off me. - He's like a good dude. I think he's like a philanthropist also. - Yeah, I think he was one of the Paul Bears at MLK's like Martin Luther King Jr.'s funeral. - What? - I think so. How? - He's 77, dude. - That's insane. - That was 60. - Can we fact check any of this? - I'm trying to say. - This seems like an intense-- - Was Samuel Jackson. Maybe I'm mixing him up with somebody else, but I-- - He was an usher at-- - Okay. - His funeral. - He was an usher at his funeral. So, yeah, that's still like-- - That's a, yeah. - Just shows you how recent all that stuff was. - Pull up Samuel Jackson's filmography on the screen here. - Well, all right, name, I mean, of course all the Avengers movies I can go on forever. - Oh wow, yeah. I also low-key the Kingsman movies I like them. - He was only in the first one. - You know what movie he was shitting in that people forget? Jurassic Park. - That's right, he was in Jurassic Park. - Yep. - Django pulp fiction. - Django is such a crazy-- - Unbreakable. - I forgot about Unbreakable. - Mr. Glass. - They call them Mr. Glass. - The Kingsman movies. - Jackie Brown. - Good fellas. - Oh my God. - He had like a brief candy. - Yeah, yeah, good fellas. - But still, like look at his movies that he's in. - He was in that. - Die hard, right? - Die hard. - He was in die hard? - No, that's die hard with Avengers. That's not. - Oh, yeah. - Deep Blue Sea. - Wait, he wasn't coming to America? - Love Deep Blue Sea. - Bro, Deep Blue Sea is so good. - Is so fucking good. - Really? - But it's so bad. - Well, that's why, yeah. - Is it like Michael Rappaport, like a scientist in that or something? - Hello, cool, Jason. - Chef. - It's great. - Oh, that's right. - He saved his bird. - That's right. - I remember that shit. - Yo, that movie is so sick. - Triple X, bro. I loved that movie. I was like, oh my God, this is so-- - I don't think I ever saw that one. - He's full of bills. - He's frozen. - He is frozen. - Lot of people. - He's in Kong School Island? - Yeah. - That was a good one. I like Kong School Island. - Swat, low-key, good movie. - I don't remember that being good. Some of all fears, that was good. - Oh, he's in-- - Wait, some of all fears. That's not him. - He's in the Garfield movie? - The new one, yeah. He plays Garfield's dad. It's like Chris Pratt, his Garfield, and his father, Samuel Jackson. - Damn, dude, look at how many fucking movies he's done. - Yeah, that's right. He's Mace Windu. - Yeah. - Purple lightsaber. - Dude, so sick. - Yeah, no. - You remember Coach Carter? - Wow. - Dude, what a movie. - That movie's low-key, incredible. - I think I saw an interview recently that said that he got mad at the cast because there's like a party scene in that movie and they were actually like drinking and having a party. And he was like upset with them 'cause they weren't taking it serious, which I get it. - Look at that, the films in which he has appeared have collectively grossed more than 27 billion worldwide. - And he's still not the highest grossing. - No, he's not anymore. - Making him the highest grossing actor. - He's not, I saw someone else. - Who? - I'm gonna have you guys guess. - I know who it is. - You know who it is? It's an actress. - Yeah. - If that, I mean, it's a trist, it's a trist. If that narrows it down. - But don't she older? - Don't say it. - Is she older? - Then Samuel, or like around that age? - No, no. - So she's young? - Fairly young. - Yes. Fairly young definitely young. Yeah, yeah, but I'm saying like not Zendaya age right. Yeah. Yeah, I figured she was like Probably got to be at least 40 or something like that. Okay, okay For all I don't think of the biggest movies of all time. Just start naming them start naming them. Scarlet Johansson Okay, Margot Robbie Definitely not yeah, I mean yeah, I think I think I swung with Barbie there the answer is gonna blow your mind It's like someone I would not expect yes, but like once you like are like oh, oh, yeah, like Jennifer Lawrence. Nope Not as mainstream like I mean, that's that sounds disrespectful. I don't mean with Thurman No, but you're going in the right track a little bit Carrie Washington. That's not it. No, but you're also kind of going in the right track Ali Barry. No, no, no, you know like avatar Marvel always really Zoe Salda. Yeah, dude Yeah, bro, what? I guess she's in fucking what's it called she's in the Avengers. Yeah, she's in the Avatar movies. I think those alone Life in Zoe, so Donna She was in wasn't she in uh, she's the road trip movie that she was in Huh, she was in like a road trip movie with like Britney Spears wasn't she what the fuck Guardians, whoa, whoa, that might not be accurate. She's officially right there right there right there where On the right this yes Yeah, I saw reports that she is this says that she is Has taken over the world's with 15.4. Well, this this isn't what are we doing? I've seen we're seeing conflicting reports here. Maybe this is a domestic I thought it's a worldwide No, they're even talking about how now stands at he's third So whatever I see that Google AI that you were using Gemini lied to you AI is inaccurate all time Um But yeah, dude like Zoe Salda Nia has the Avatar movie Salda Nia. Yeah, there's a there's an in yeah over the end um Type in her filmography. I want to see what she's in I mean, hold on she's in the Guardians movies the Avengers movies. She's in the Avatar movies. You ever see the She's in the losers. Oh Amelia Perez Amelia Perez. She won the Oscar for that pirate or the care being yeah, that's right Oh fuck she was in that too Star Trek maybe that's what you're thinking of crossroads. Yeah, how the fuck did you think of a movie that no one knows Frank The loser's okay. I never saw that one but I know that movie. I don't know most of these movies pretty sure she played Nina Simone in the movie Nina Scroll more Oh, yeah, the Star Trek Star Trek someone but they went out as big as you would have thought this feels like a like a Avatar cheat Avatar Marvel Yeah, it's Avatar. I mean Avatar. I think is like it's three movies and it's like six billion dollars. Yeah, it's crazy and then Marvel is up there, but they have more movies. You know, I've never seen a frame of an Avatar movie I saw the first one and I vehemently refused to watch any of the others because I I just don't like it get it I just like I got it but I was just like this isn't what it needs to like the hype needs is making it. Yeah, yeah, you know Because it's like yeah the biggest movie ever and you're like yeah like it felt like it was Like I remember the first movie like watching. I was like whoa. This is stunning like it's beautiful But then like there were other parts where I was just like It's kind of stupid hope it's poop like they like the thing that they have to get is called unobtainium And it's just like be a little more on the nose. Yeah, let's let's avoid that like come on like Use some different words there. It's like we came up with an aim of it That's like if our children like and you cannot obtain this precious mineral. What's it called? It's untamedable and it's like uranium unobtainium Are there any other movies that Besides rage baiting me with the mask that are like well-known great movies that just for you. You're like um I have Oh, I'm one for sure what and you're gonna hate me for this one I was like not all like I didn't think interstellar was all that great. I Know you love that movie. I I Disagree I think that interstellar is a good movie. I think that's some people I'm not saying it's a bad movie. I didn't think it's overrated Hmm. I was just like alright. See I feel like interstellar the problem with that movie is the same problem with the wolf of Wall Street I think they're both great movies. It's just that when the hardos come in and and like Identify so much with it. It's just like ruins it. Yeah, but because the wolf of Wall Street is a great movie, but like The people who are like And it's like you go to work and this is who you are now like It's just nerdy like but if anything them doing that It it highlights the message of the film like oh people don't get it Yeah, yeah, but that's not that that's not the movie is fault. I know that's not the movies But I'm saying like the movie gets a bad rep because the people who like the movie are like dweebs I mean I like I love that movie. I'm not a great movie. I'm not a dweeb No, I know I'm saying like say I'm not a dweeb I'm saying the people who like Think that that they are there is like I am Jordan Belford. Yeah, and now it's like, you know, it's just corny But yeah, but I feel like interstellar like every like guy on hinge like I've seen it on tiktok with girls saying like every guy And hinge says like interstellar's favorite movie and it's like all right now. It's becoming like now. It's a little corny You know, but I like the movie. I think it's good. I can see how you're like But I just felt like I was like okay, it's good But then again like I'm also a grumpy little bitch where people would be like oh my god And I'm just like You know what I kind of felt that way about tenet. I never saw tenet It's good and I could recognize that it's good, but at the same time I'm like there's too much of the skill I think a lot of people talk about tenet Interstellar Christopher Nolan like that's a movie where he was just like super overindulgent Like it was like dude. I blink and I'm like the fuck is this now. Yeah, it's like Well now it's backwards and forward, but you're at the front and then blah blah blah blah like What my understanding of the movie is that a lot of the criticism has just been that it's just Too much movie too crazy too much movie the movie. Yeah, I don't like you know. That's why like something simple What's a movie that you could watch like all the time like you'll throw it on every single time or like what's like your top three funniest movies? Uh Funniest movies I'm gonna remove the mask because I feel like that's an easy answer Um, you think that's like the funniest movie. I I Whether it be because I I have rose tinted glistens glistens Rose tinted glasses on when I watch it. I do think it's an incredible movie. Okay For getting ceremonial I can watch that. That's a good answer. For getting ceremonial is I love that movie so Perfectly funny like I think it is like a perfect movie. It is so good and like I'll even throw in super bad like yeah There are parts of it that don't age so well, but like it is so fucking good. Yeah, um, and then a perfectly funny movie I mean, okay, also Just friends. I think just friends is so fucking like Christmas movie It absolutely is a christian, but like every part of that movie is funny like there are certain parts that are just like a little but like Ana Ferris is so fucking good. Oh my god dude. She's so good in that movie. I love Ana Ferris. Uh, what about you? And don't give the three that I gave yeah, yeah I'm trying to think of like other movies because you took super bad and forgetting sorry Marshall But also a movie that I just think is just Incredible. I maybe the funniest I've ever seen is wedding crashers. Yeah, wedding crashers. Good answer It's like one of the funniest movies Imagine setting your makeup then forgetting. It's even there Meet new grippy setting mist from Mavily, New York. Gel to mist technology locks in your look for up to 24 hours With flexible all-day comfy grip. No tightness. No stickiness. No residue. Just plump, dewy, hydrated skin That still feels like your skin. Try new grippy setting mist from Mavily, New York. Maybe it's Mabelane Who's I've ever seen in my life? Old school is also there maybe I'm just a Vince Bond fan, but yeah, she's also Yeah, dodgeball dodgeball is good. Yeah, similar movies are also very funny dude. Tropic thunder. Tropic thunder is so it is Heavy weights. Oh my god miles is watching that the other day. I was just like good on you miles. Yeah, anyway It's just a funny movie man dude Fucking tropic thunder and it's such like a thing to talk about now where it's just like why is that okay? I'll move you in it and yes, I agree like they probably shouldn't make that movie today, but like It is so fucking funny because it is a commentary on Actors, you know what I mean? Like it's not like It is a points, but like it is more about oh there's certainly some stuff I know what I'm saying like it is just a commentary on like the industry Like those like hyper intense like Daniel Day Lewis method actors that like I saw the one thing like a story that he did a movie where he played a Paraplegic I think but like they made him he like wouldn't walk on set He had to be carrier some shit like that. I heard that uh for there will be blood He like didn't shower the whole time. I think that was gangster New York. Oh, maybe that one. What's it both good movies? I love gigs of news Dude, I just watched Marty Supreme. Have you watched it yet? No It's it's a movie brother What does that mean? Correct. I already know it's a movie. It's it's good. Bro. It's like us. It's uncut gems But like a little dialed up Why did you say that when we were talking about gangster New York? I don't know because he's a gang gangster because that's what yo Well, because gangster New York takes place in like the 1800s in New York and and Marty Supreme is in like the 50s. Oh, okay, okay, you know, yeah, gangster New York is great love that yeah He's a sloppy fucking mess and that he's a stinky he's a greasy fuck. Oh my god, and then there will be blood - I've never seen it Yeah, it's it's I got to watch that. That's a really really good movie boy. No, what's that from that's for Harry Potter? Well, that's also from there will be blood. Yeah, yeah, you know, um, but I was Son, oh boy. I think the famous one from that is the milkshake part. Well. Yeah, I drink your milk shake What's going on? I don't know like something rang up here. Oh I Hope I'm not having an Andrew Um, I'm talking good movies get to the other ads and I'll bring up other movies because I got a movie question ask you Okay, well, we have some more ads here. 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It's pretty transphobic Is it Yeah, you don't remember the whole like it's a big twist of the movie. Yeah Oh, yeah Right there brother Right there. I put it on for miles one day and he was washing it and like I forgot that there's like a full-on sex scene in that first movie How do you remember? It's like him and Courtney Cox, isn't it? That is corkney Cox Who's that? That's not anyone corkney Cox But um, yeah, are there any like movie props that you would just open up the checkbook for like if you saw that they were on display You'd be like I'll have that I don't know but I just saw a clip of Ed Sheeran saying that he like collects these things like he said he just bought Edward Siserhands hands. Oh Has a doctor evil suit That's cool. He's got Batman and Robin from Batman and Robin the movie like their suits for fall. Okay from the George Clooney one I think okay I wasn't gonna ask but I'm glad you specified. I think I mean the ruby slippers. That's like an easy one But like that's on the I think that's on display at the Smithsonian or something like that in DC Oh, give me the golden snitch Oh, that's a good answer. You know what I'm talking about just like the little fucking oh I want the the What's that shit called? I don't know the wand that they're all after that the elder ones the elder one the elder one The other one wasn't as cool. I'd like I'd like a Voldemort's wand. That was the elder one. No well Technically he never owned it because he wasn't the one that had disarmed the one he was using though He was using it but it was breaking in his hand because he had not technically been so when you say Voldemort's wand Which one you refer the one that has the hook on the end that he holds like a fucking like a whore You know I'm talking about it has like the hook on the end. Yeah That's what I'm talking about. Oh, it looks like a cane. That shit is cool as hell You could have that for ten bucks and there's only two left if you want one. No. I mean yeah, I'm completely okay. Oh, it's Halloween Also, I would want didn't like expense I showed you where's like uh fucking like kiss Mary kill or whatever that yeah and it's just like Just a little pasta time But any others that you could think of the Ghostbusters pack be pretty good Potom pack proton pack. Where do you want to go spusters? Uh, I've always seen the first one a few times and it's fine. Oh, I was a big fan of the second one I'm like I like Bill Murray like especially like back then like washing the moves that he was in then. I think that he's like funny. Okay Oh, I know one that would scratch both itches you have I didn't even know I have yeah, I'm just let alone too the T-Rex Like or I'm not even gonna go that big because that would be way too expensive The the cane with the mosquito amber in it from Jurassic Park. That's cool. Yeah, that would be cool Because it's like you're getting a fossil and you're getting a movie prompt. It's not real. I'd rather get a mosquito Like a real mosquito amber are we allowed to own those? Yeah, I don't see why not. I don't I think the science in that movie has been very debunked. Okay. Like I don't think you can drill into a Fucking 65 million year old mosquito and get any DNA out of it. That's fair Do they have can you actually buy like mosquitoes in amber? I have no idea. Can you just buy amber? That would be really cool. What's amber? Amber is like solidified like Like tree sap from like ancient times That would be cool like you can buy like petrified wood. I know that. What is that? You know you're not petrified wood Not really. It's like ancient wood that has been burnt and like charred basically and it becomes almost like glass like What never heard of that like glass like see through no, but like the like it's kind of a similar like Hardness and like texture to it. I really yeah. No, I don't I might be fucking this up when I think of petrified I think back to Harry Potter. Yes. I mean you can all you could buy petrified, you know, moaning mortal if you really want Yeah Having Harry Potter stuff would be cool. I mean you can just go to universal and get them No, no, no, like the actual oh like you want to link the real shit. Yeah, you don't want any of the fakes I mean dude if I was an actor you're like Daniel Radcliffe And you're doing Harry Potter. I'm taking mad shit. Yeah, I mean they probably would get in trouble No, bro. I'm Daniel Radcliffe. I own this shit technically. You don't bro. I mean I sue me. They will All right And guess who will win the major motion picture studio that is going to yeah Yeah, you're not gonna take me down, right made you all this money chill I don't think that's how that works. I think so. I think you have some bargaining chip. I mean maybe some Just like a few things. I'm not saying take the fuck take, you know, whatever Oh the words nose office face. I would want the actual owl they use his head wig Like then you get an owl and you get a fucking cool thing from a movie. I would get the nimbus Oh nimbus 2000. Do you a firebolt? That one was cool. Yeah, that was cool. Cool. Um, I mean I'm a nimbus guy If they sold those and they were real, would you keep it? - How would you get up there? - Absolutely. Would you? - 1 million percent. - But you don't like flying in planes because I'm not in control. - You don't know how to fly a plane. - You're damn right, so I don't want to fly a broom. - I would learn, if I'm getting a broom, I'm learning how to fly a broom. - Dude, I would just be like, "Yo, I'm on my way in a work." - Probably so cold. - Oh, you, I mean, it would be a little cold. - It would be a little cold, but I would dress appropriately. - Dude, are you kidding me? - Yeah. - That would be cool. - You think they have a seatbelt? - No, have you not watched Harry Potter? - But you have to add one. - Why? - 'Cause you're flying on a broom. - I mean, also, it's in it. Think about how you're sitting on it. Wouldn't that hurt? - Yeah, my nuts would be split and half. - The nimbus or the fireball, don't remember which one had like little like foot stirrups on it. So you can kind of take a little bit of pressure off of your coop. - Yeah, but my fucking balls are getting beat up, dude. Also, I'm getting shit. Don't talk about my balls. - I didn't, I didn't say anything. - Also just leaning on a broom. - If anything, a broom is more well equipped to deal with your balls than most other things you write on. You can just have one nut go one way, one nut go the other. - That's not the most comfortable way to have my nuts. - Why? - Because they're a package deal. They'd rather be together, hugging each other. - All right, so put 'em on one side, and then the broom will just hold it against your leg. - Still pressing up against me. I mean, if you got good enough nuts, it'll just press up against like in between. - Tell you what, I'd rather imagine carpet. - You can lay down, bro. You can lay down. Oh, hold on to it like this. I feel more in control when I have the thing in my grasp like this, you know what I mean? - Hold on to the edge of the carpet like this. - And you can just like, yeah, but like you like, so what am I gonna do? Actually, yeah, you don't even fly it. You just tell the carpet, he's a guy. You tell 'em, bro, get me there. - Let's just go, dude. - Yeah, it's like having an Uber driver. - That's a really good point. - And you can kind of talk to it. You know, it has a personality. - All right, all right. - All right, so here we are, here we are. Now we're talking. Would you rather have a magic carpet, a magic broom? - I realize you didn't think further that you know. - I didn't. (laughing) - Or DeLorean. - Does it go back in time? - Yeah. - Yeah, but then you got to get back here. It's lightning, easy. - I'm taking the fucking carpet every time. - I think I'm taking the broom. I kind of like the, you're piercing up a literal time machine. A literal time machine. - I don't, what do I need to go back to? - Yeah, I want to, I'm fine. Think about this. If you were to go back in time, how cool is that actually? Unless you're gonna do something that's gonna like, you know, benefit the world, which I am incapable of doing most of it. - Well, it also depends on what logic of time travel and, you know, time like affecting the future that you subscribe to. If we're going based off of the back to the future rules, you could actually do more damage than you think. You know what I mean? - But even so, even without that, like how cool is it to go back in time? Like, what am I gonna do? What are you gonna do? Like, you wanna go back and see what? A dinosaur, then what? - No, I wouldn't wanna get stuck there. - But that's what I mean. So what would you even do at that time? - That's what I said, then you're stuck there and you need to get back. - I'm assuming I have two trips. - Take as many trips as you want. What are you doing in the past? - I don't know. - I mean, can I bring out that? - Hold on, hold on. He's onto something. - He's onto the sport's arm and neck. - I mean, that's not a bad idea. That was gonna be my question. Can I bring stuff back with me? The sports arm and neck? - Yeah, you know what I mean? - You're back to the future too? - The winner of every sports team for like 100 years. - I've never seen any of the back to the future rules. - Well, that's why he's arguing like this, you know. - Well, no, if anything, if anything, his point would only be strengthened by watching those movies, because there's shenanigans and whimsy about because of the time travel. - Oh, whimsy. - I just don't think that time travel backwards would be actually that cool that I would pass up a magic carpet. - I mean, you would be able, hold on. You would be able to reap the benefits of it financially. For instance, so go back in time and pick up like 30 Pokemon first edition shadowless booster boxes. Bring them back with you. You're sitting on a couple millie, baby. So we do know that the DeLorean can go to the future. - Does it, right? - Yes, it does in the second one. He hasn't seen it. - It's called back to the future. So like it goes back and forth. - Yeah, but if you're back, then, - Yeah, but that was the title of the first movie. - The second one was back to the future. - But if you're going back to the future, that just means the present, because that would mean that like, you were in the future because of the present. They do go to the future. - They do go to the future. They go to the distant past. The back to the future name is in reference to, in the first movie they go to the past and they need to get back to their timeline, which is the future of where they currently are. - Even the future. Being able to time travel to the future. What can you do there? You're basically an idiot. - I mean, he's right about the sports almanac. - That's a big thing. And that's the part of-- - You want to be spoiled? You want to know who won the World Series? - It's not about knowing. It's about being able to financially capitalize on it. - I'm good with that. - If they're at like the beginning of the season, like remember a couple of years ago in the Washington National World Series? - Look Frank, even if you have all of the money, then what? You still don't have a magic carpet. - How long do you think you're going to keep your magic carpet once people see you have a magic carpet? - Yeah. - Exactly. People are going to want that bit. - Yeah. - You can't get it. - How the can they not? You're not a magic person. You don't suddenly have fucking like security. - You don't have to do now. - Okay, you have a magic card. They can take that. - Well, they wouldn't know I'm going back and forth and they also wouldn't know how to use the DeLorean. So the magic carpet is a person. It's sentient. It could be like, I'm not flying for you. I'm not a carpet. - Well, you would have to build a really good rapport with this carpet. - Yeah, we're fucking boys. - If we're arguing like what, like go into the future and reaping some sort of financial benefits. - You with me. - I'm with you. If we're talking about just purely living in the, 'cause like, you also need to hit 88 in order to get the DeLorean to go and that's not necessarily easy everywhere you go. I mean, I could get it to 88. I mean, think about it like this. If I put a DeLorean outside right now, you're not going anywhere, buddy. I mean, once you hit the highway. - Yeah. - What highway in New York will you open it up to hit 88? - Four I am, any of 'em. That's unsafe, Joey. I mean, yes. You know what's easier? - Flying a magic carpet. - Yeah, but if you watch, I guess you know what? If you watch the original Aladdin, they go from like Agraba to like Greece and like somewhere else very quickly. So the speed of the magic carpet is pretty fast. - That's what I'm saying. - But also if I have. - And it saved his life. But also if I have a magic broom, magic could also exist elsewhere. The implication is that if this broom is magic, that's not the implication. Also, if I jump off the Empire State Building, my magic carpet could just capture it. I mean, you're, you're. - Why are you jumping off? - I'm saying that's an option. Like your magic carpet is like your bodyguard. You can't fall. - And I have the option to go see a dinosaur. - That does stuff. - Congrats! But this is what I'm saying with time travel. You go back and actually think about the utility of this. - Okay. - If you have a time machine forever and I have a magic carpet forever in my experience. You can go back and then you can like invest in Apple or wherever the fuck you wanna do and then you have all the money in the world. - It's a great point. - What are you gonna do with it though? - What is that? - Bro, I have a magic carpet. Do you know like what I could do with that? - I would pay people to steal your magic carpet. They can't get it. - Well, also, here's a thing. You go back in time to the time of the dinosaurs. The terrain has not yet had the effects of humankind on it. Where are you gonna drive to open that bitch up to 88? - That's also fair. - Just open land. I'll try. - Open land brother. It's not necessary. - Off road tires. - Off road tires. So you think with off road tires you'll be able to get to 88 doing this all the time. - So you're both in on the DeLorean just for five minutes already? - I honestly, I'm kind of standing my ground on the magic brew. - That's the worst one. - I don't think it's the worst one. - Easily the worst one. - How about the worst one? - Because it hurts your balls. - Guess what? Guess what you can't do on your magic carpet. - Guess what you can't do. Have your girlfriend with you. - You damn right, I can. - Oh yeah, get on this thing. Well, both sit on it. Get it even more uncomfortable. - What is more romantic than being able to be held by your partner behind you and they're looking over your shoulder and you're fucking bobbing in the- - I'll tell you what? A fucking picnic in the sky on the way to Greece. - Yeah, but first of all, that would be incredibly cold. Okay, the air pressure is significantly less up there. So what you're up there eating grapes and fucking cured meats at minus 30 degrees. - Who's going to 35,000 feet? We go right ahead. - The camera's getting hit by a plane. But then also, but then also, guess what? You need to hold on to a magic carpet. - Well, guess what a magic carpet- - Guess what a magic carpet- - Go watch the movie, no, you don't. - Guess what a magic carpet famously does not have? Handles, brother. - Go watch the movie, yes, Aladdin is like this. - Yeah, when it's intense. But when he's flying with Jasmine, they're just like, ♪ Ha, da, da, da, da, da, da, da ♪ And they're just chilling and fucking falling in love. - They are chilling, they are falling in love. ♪ Shimmering splendid ♪ ♪ Tell me princess, now where did you last ♪ ♪ Let your heart decide ♪ - And it's when, I'm sorry, guys. ♪ I can open your eyes ♪ (laughs) ♪ Take you on her pie, wonder ♪ ♪ Over sideways and under ♪ - This is Disney. - Oh, he's gonna fuck us up. - They won't hammer up. - It's a cover, it's a cover. - I don't know if you guys are doing really good, like I like it. - Yeah, it's so, it's so, it's so, it's so, it's so, it's so good. - Yeah, it's right, it's so good. - The Backsheep Boys are gonna fucking bend us over for some money, and if this happened right-- - If this game right-- - And I swear to God. - Yeah, right, Disney's gonna-- - Thank you for stepping in. - 'Cause that would've lasted another 10 minutes. - See, this is why here, and just keep here. - Yeah. I'm taking the magic carpet, though. Let's not forget-- - Watch this, watch this, watch this, watch this, all right. I'm gonna do a little thing here. - Yeah, yeah. - I forgot, I kept this under here. (laughing) Watch this. You're getting thrown off. You know what you're not bucking me off of? A fucking magic broom, baby. I'm holding on for dear life, like this. You think you're breaking that grip? - No. - Don't you have to learn how to fly the broom? - Yeah, I'll learn that. - I'm not even flying the broom. - Yeah, he's showing. - So you're at the will of somebody else. You are willing? I know how you are. You're willing to give up. In such a vulnerable state, you're giving up control to this sentient carpet. - What do you think flying on a plane is? - The exact same thing, and you've expressed it. You don't like that for that reason. - What I do it. - You do it, but you're in a significantly more vulnerable state when you're on a magic carpet. And you're just gonna give up and just hope that this collection of threading is going to not just fucking lose its mind and kill you one day? - Yeah, it's magic. - You know how you're in ultimate control? If this thing isn't sentient and you have it in your own control. - Frank, as soon as that thing decides it's not magic anymore, you're on a broomstick in the sky more on-- - You can't make up shit like that. - You just did. - No, I'm presenting a potential hypothetical. There is no world in which any of these stop being magical because you have the exact same argument. If the carpet is magic, that means that it is the magic carpet that we know from Aladdin. And you believe that this magic carpet is just 100% completely neutral good all the time. - Yes. - No chaotic elements to it. - Why was it bad? - There was some points where it was a little cheeky in those movies, you know? It's being a little funny and silly. - Now what, it came to Aladdin? - It did save him a couple times. - Multiple. - Mine's science. You guys have to rely on magic. Yours is the dumbest thing. - I mean, actually, no, Frank's is pretty good. - No, it's a broom. It's a broom. - Yours is the worst answer. His doesn't make sense. - Yeah, yours is a car from the 1980s. If science doesn't give up, then the transmission is going. (laughing) Are you fucking kidding me? - It's true, it's true, it's true, dude. I can go back in time. - You're gonna need a new car. - You're gonna need to get the tires fucking redone, dude. - Imagine this, too. - What happens if you get a flat tire in the Mesozoic era? - Bro, who's cooler? - That'd be a problem. - Who's cooler, right? You pulling up to the bar in that car with a fucking mad scientist in the fucking passenger seat, by the way. Or me standing and just landing with my carpet. And then it takes our-- - You're gonna fly standing? - Ew. - Dude, not always. - That is disgusting. - When I'm arriving, also, it turns into stairs. I walk down it. What if I walk out of the car with Einstein or something? - Everyone's gonna be like, "Who the fuck is that guy?" - Yeah, what is that going to do for the normal person today? Oh, look, cool Einstein. We have eight million up here. - Or Freddie Mercury. That would be cool. Only if he's singing, though. - Of course he's singing. - That's the agreeable thing. - All right, so I'm. (laughing) - Are you, can you bring people to the future that are doing that? - They do that in Bill and Ted. - Yeah, it probably messed up some things. Not if you bring them back to the exact spot they left. - I mean, again, it depends on what logic of time travel you subscribe to. You also assume that Freddie Mercury is gonna be like, "Yeah, sure, I'll get it in, kid." - I mean, there are ways that you can get Freddie Mercury there. There are ways. - Cocaine. - Cocaine. - Cocaine. - Orgis. - I'm not getting in. - Orgis, yo. You won't even believe the Orgis they're having nowadays. - Nah, I'm taking the magic carpet. - What's cooler? You showing up on fucking a carpet or me pulling in like a fucking BMX, like on a fucking magic broom. - Yeah, me being like, yo, that's fire. And then people are gonna be like, what are you supposed to be? - Elfable. - You made it cooler. - No, I didn't. - Yes, you did. - That was the standard. That's what I was talking about. - Could you imagine me wearing a flowy black gown on this magic fucking broom and I go to the top and I'm like, "If you can't find me, look to the West End." - Dude, what? - The government's shooting you out of the sky. - Yes, they are. - That's what I'm saying about your carpet. I'd be low. - You think they're just gonna be like, we can't find him, he's just right there. - I'm underneath the radar. - Yeah, but guess what everyone has nowadays? Fones, brother. - Yeah, they're finding all of us. Especially you don't ask. - No, no, no, no, no, no, no. - What's gonna happen when you go back to the past and there's no more gasoline? - I wouldn't, I would monitor it properly. - Yeah, but you would go back in time and go, look good, and then you go home. - Yeah, and you'd also go and get mulled, whether it be by animals or any fucking illness or sickness that has since been long dead, that it's gonna fucking kill you. Also think about this, you're gonna go in the past and then you're gonna make a bunch of money so that your presence self can have a bunch of money. Then you're just, why go in the past again if you have all the money in the future? You don't have it in the past. - I go in the future, see what's going on. - Yeah, you'd be the dumbest person there, but then I go back. - Dumbest is a stretch. Because if you put everything in here today, he's still smarter than any of us. That is a, like, I don't even know how, whatever. I don't even know how true that is. - I don't know, I don't really. - Because you would put him in front of a computer and he'd probably be like, what, what is this? - Imagine setting your makeup. Then forgetting it's even theirs. Meet new grippy setting mist from Maybelline, New York. Gel to mist technology locks in your look for up to 24 hours with flexible all day comfy grip. No tightness, no stickiness, no residue. Try new grippy setting mist from Maybelline, New York. - Maybe it's Maybelline. - You know, like, I think we're all smarter than Einstein. - We've had this argument, we're not doing this again. - I don't think that we're smarter than Einstein. Not smarter than Einstein, duh. But, I don't know. We have more access to knowledge than Einstein did. - I could say that. - We're not relitigating this argument. I hear what you're saying. Imagine a carpet is incredibly cool. - It's comfy. - It is not, like, that's like saying like, what's cooler? Laying on a fucking like mat in a pool or someone that rides up on a chopper. What's cooler, Joey? - That's not what we're saying. - That's exactly what we're saying. - No. - What's cooler, a segue or a motorcycle? - Okay. Flying in an airplane, would you rather be laying down or in the back sitting on a bike? If I was in control of it. I mean, but like, sure, there are some design flaws that maybe I would be able to edit at different points. - Yeah, there's some flaws, all right. - That maybe there are some design flaws. You are on a carpet. - Yeah. - Your life, your well-being and safety is just basically at the will of the thread count. - Yours too. - No, mine's a piece of sturdy magic wood. - Also, it'd be more like a bike without the bike seat. You're just sitting on raw, thin wood. - Yeah, dude. Your butthole is toast. But first of all, do not reference the standard which my asshole will be after riding on a magic post. - I'll just get some biker shorts. - Biker shorts. - There you go. I'll get some biker shorts and I'll fucking throw a pillow in my pants. I'll be okay, dude. - Throw a pillow in my pants. - I'll really go roll. - Gotta throw a pillow in your pants. - I'm gonna like take a nap on my carpet. - Yeah, and then you're gonna roll over and roll to your doom. - No, 'cause it could catch me. - You better hope it can catch you. 'Cause that's the other part of it is that it needs to find you and get you. Because if you remember, in Aladdin, like he falls and that thing needs to go and get it, and sometimes it cuts it a little close. So the anxiety of possibly falling to your death better be worth it. - I mean, I'm not gonna fall asleep, but I could lay down, for sure. - You can lay down, sure. But then you're laying on a carpet. Could my delorean fly? Like his? - It does have the ability to fly. - It does. - Oh, my ants are so good. - Your ants are sucks. - He doesn't need the ground's even teleport. He just flies at 88 miles per hour. - Boy, that does add a bit of a monkey wrench into my argument. So it's kind of like the Harry Potter car? - Yeah. - Sure. - Yeah, except it could teleport. - Can't teleport, it can go back in time. It wasn't like teleporting from like here to France. It was going back in time. So you're not getting that. You also can't go anywhere like cool, except the past of the future. There's no practical use for it in today's day and age. - I mean, you can take the car. - I have a flying car at the end of the day. I still have a flying car. - Yeah, that does change things for me, you know? 'Cause the carpet is like, but the only thing is the accessibility of the carpet. - You're also getting something in the carpet that you're not getting in the delorean. You're getting personality. You're getting something that you might enjoy. - Yeah. - Compared to you're just getting nuts and bolts. - I get heat and AC and time travel and flight. - All things that don't matter when you have a cool carpet. I'm helping you here. I still think my answer's the best. The weather is a toughy. That's another one, I mean all of us, I mean. - You and I are both fucked with it. - Don't say all of us. - Yeah, not me. - Also in a thunderstorm? - Yeah, that'd be cool. - No, dude, for you? - I mean, why, it's wood. Yeah, but it cracks wood. - Yeah, when it strikes it, yeah. I will take the chances, if fucking thunder hits yours, it's literally turning to dust and you're falling. - This is a stupid question, maybe. - I mean, what is the show if not a collection of those? - I mean, the last hour and a half have been probably pretty stupid, but lightning, right? It strikes that bolt, is it like the damage that that bolt can do? Like obviously it does damage to where it strikes, but can you get damaged by this part? You know what I'm saying? In the middle? - That's a good question. - Like a light part of it? - I imagine, doesn't it also strike from the ground up? Isn't that like a thing? - I have no idea. - It's not what it does in the cartoons. - For it. - Well, there we go. - I've never seen it in my life, too. - You saying it spawns from the ground? - I thought I saw. - I'm not saying I know that. I thought that was something I had heard. - I think there is something about the electricity in the ground, like you can, like rate where lightning strikes before it does something with the ground. - I'm sure that there, like since it is like, it's a form of energy. So I'm sure there is a surrounding area that will also be affected by it. - Yeah, I didn't know if it was just like where it ends up or the entirety of the strike. Like that could be damaging to some. Oh, well, maybe if it does hit something on the way down, it would just stop there. - No, I think it would be powerful enough to go through it. Well, planes get struck by lightning. - Yeah, but it also probably then goes down. - Oh, I don't think so. I think that it hits the plane and it kind of like distributes up. - Does lightning strike the ocean? - Of course, dude. - What? - It probably mostly strikes the ocean. It's more likely to hit the ocean than anything else. - Well, because of just there's more ocean area than there is land area. - Yeah. - But like, in the middle of the ocean, is there lightning strikes? - Of course. I mean, I've seen it. You could stand on the edge of a beach and watch a storm or something. But how do you know it's not hitting like a little body of land out there? - Why does it need to be land? - I'm asking. I'm saying this is a tough question to find the answer to, but you are right. It's called the Return Stroke. It's a, this a, - Hey, yeah, it's like a reach around. - Bend that. - That's what they should, the gay community should rename, reach around to the Return Stroke. - All right. - It's a bright, powerful, electric current that travels upward from the ground towards the cloud. It is extremely dangerous because it carries millions of volts and heats the air to approximately 50,000 degrees Fahrenheit. - Excuse me. - Harder than the surface of the sun in that flash. - That's what it says. - Oh, shit. - I don't believe hotter than the surface. - I don't believe that. - Yeah, I don't think people survive it. - Probably. - How's that possible? - 50,000 degrees Fahrenheit is not hotter than the surface. - What the fuck inside are you on? - Let me guess. - Let me guess. - It sounds like you texted Frank for this answer. - Excuse you. - That sounds like it's an AI answer. - It is. It's a scientist. - Is it? - How do we get hold of it? - I don't know, I don't know. - You know, I get in your delorean. Go bring fuckin' Albert Einstein back here. - I mean, we've talked about trying to get Neil on the show, we've talked about trying to get Hank Green. Like, we're gonna have to answer. - Hank Green is a scientist. - Is he? - He's the scientist, dude. - But he's a scientist? - I don't know. - He knows science things. - I don't know. - What differentiates a scientist from a non-scientist? It's just they just know more. A degree title. I don't think that they are called scientist Joe, scientist Frank. - No, they have. - I think practicing, no, there's like, you're like a physicist. Yeah, so they are studying, they have a PhD in physics. Frank, if you just like know things about science, you're not a scientist. - I think you are to some degree. - You need to be like certified. But you can get a degree in a specialized field, but like, there's no degree of scientistism. - Right. - No, it's physicists, it's chemists. - Yes, but those would be science. Like of the sciences, you're a scientist. Like, if you have one of those titles, then you're considered a scientist. - So in theory, you need a degree, like a bachelor of science. - I don't know if it's a bachelor or if you need a degree. - But you need a science degree. - Yes. - So one of us here is technically a scientist. - No. - Two of us here are technically scientists. - Two of us? He's got a degree? - It's not any degree. It's not criminal justice in your scientist. - But the literal degree says bachelor of science, the major was criminal justice. - Now we have to look up who's a scientist? Like, I mean, what are we doing? - What, so what are we looking up exactly? - Well, once you look up is Frank Alvarez from the dumbest podcast that's ever existed, a scientist. Why don't we look that up? - Better yet, why don't we call up the national, let's call up the White House and let them know there's a scientist here that needs a pay raise or something. - Do me a favor. Don't give my full name when you call the White House. That might be a little troublesome. - I cannot believe the attack I would just on the receiving end on. - Google that exact quote. - What is Frank Alvarez on the fucking screen? Is Frank Alvarez from the dumbest podcast? - What was it? - That's ever existed. A scientist. - A scientist. - I'm gonna say this. A scientist is fundamentally defined as a commitment to systemic inquiry using observation experimentation and scientific method to acquire new knowledge about the natural world. - That's all it takes. - You guys are-- (laughing) - So I'm a scientist. - Hey buddy, first of all, that octave very high. Second off, that doesn't make you a scientist. - Yes, it does. So much of my degree was studying the scientific method in terms of social sciences, which can be applied to the natural world as a result of the societal impact that criminal justice has. - Oh, I hate this show. - Bachelor of science, dude. If anything, he's also a scientist. - A number is in the-- - Yeah, we're all scientists. - You're not. That's my point. - I wasn't in the liberal arts and science school. I was in the, what's your bachelor degree say? Bachelor of business. I don't think that's, so then a bachelor of arts. So you're not. So see you later, bitch. - It's just me. - You can't be a scientist. You didn't have glasses. - I do have glasses. I just don't wear them all the time. That's because you're not a scientist. I am definitely-- - Most of the last bit of research you did that wasn't about a toy from the '90s on eBay. What I am researching is completely irrelevant. However, understanding and the proper way of researching something using peer-reviewed articles and being able to apply data to support or argue against something, I think that is in theory the scientific method. I have, I have used it. I continue to use it in my daily life. I am a scientist. Well, there you have it, folks. The Basement Yard podcast hosted by College Dropout, Joe Santagato, and the scientist. Dr. Frank Alvarez. - Let me make something. - And the other scientist? - Apparently. Let's make some scientists of business over there. - Let's make something abundantly clear. - I did not receive my doctorate. I did receive my masters. So if anything, it's College Dropout, Joe Santagato. - I don't know. - College Dropout, Joe Santagato. - Scientist, Dr. Frank Alvarez. - No, not doctor. - Who's also Dr. Frank Alvarez. Because he's close to being a surgeon. Let's not forget that, I'll give you two. - No, no, no. - He's close to being a doctor. - No, no, no, no, no, don't do that. That's unfair. Okay, I have not received my doctorate. Okay, I am a master though. I received my master's degree. So I am, this is the Basement Yard podcast. Hosted by College Dropout, Joe Santagato. And master of science, Frank Alvarez. Because that is what my degrees say. I'm a bachelor of science, I'm a master of science. You are now a podcaster, scientist. It's over. - Hey, listen, the world that we live in. - You left the lab behind. - The world that we live in, weaves a weird web. However, here I am. - You know what, as you're all happy that you hung up your lab coat. (laughing) We're really happy that you hung up your lab coat. And what are you giggling about tonight? 'Cause you hung up the lab coat too, apparently. - That's right. - I mean, listen, if you were to say, here's the start of the race, here's the end of the race. (laughing) Okay, it's a decent point. If you're to say, here's the start of the race, here's the end of the race. - Yes. - Here's where you are. - Yeah. - Here's where I am. And if this, the end of the race is being a scientist or a doctor. I am just using plain logic. Cucloser. Why is what do I have to explain this drink how does that make you Scientist because you studied 15 years ago Well, you don't remember and you took a class. We just got hammered. It was mixology. Oh You think that scientists don't like to party we love to party we do. I'm sick of this I do we do I'm a bachelor of I will show you my degree Bachelor of science master of science. None of your shit says master of science. I guarantee it does all right It says master of science. So like it's like bachelor of science It's it's like when they say like BS you know it's BS. All right, no bachelor of science and mess in this in this major Yeah, I'm writing down Joe's BS joke. That was really underrated Oh My god, I mean, it's just it is what it is. You could be as upset as you want to be about it It's not me the reality is you want to be close. I'm not I don't want to be anything. I am categorically Scientist actually a scientist. I have received a bachelor of science. Are you a scientist in essence? I am That is all for this week's episode You dare don't you dare try to do that. You guys were all fucking you guys were out here watching I got shit in my mouth Like a piece of turkey This whole time I'm sitting across from a scientist. I know I'm surrounded by scientists Wow, this is the smartest company in the world if anything jokes on me Because one of the scientists here is There is a scientist here, and he is working for the non-scientist. No, no, I'm surrounded by science. Oh, I went out You know what? That's the prerequisite if you want to work at this company. It got to be a scientist I think Greg is no Greg. I think got his degree in the arts, didn't he? Like journalism or something. Yeah, that's not science He's not a bachelor of science. He's a bachelor of arts journalism Which is impressive? I'm not taking that away from him. But it ain't a scientist, but he's not a scientist He's a scientist with words, which is just a journalist. Yeah, Shakespeare, but he's not yeah, so that's how we're gonna categorize all this he's closer to being Plato Than the rest of us that is correct. Oh, yeah. Yes, that is correct I think I'm done right. I'm I think I'm done with the episode because I don't even know what to say Do you want me to end it? Yeah, the resident scientist. I would like this to end scientifically So yeah, okay. Well, I believe I can unequivocally say I Am it has been a stupendous episode all right, and the the passion that you and I feel for doing this show has propelled each and every episode to exponentially More heights There's that science degree talking would it have been funny if I killed this mic? Exponentially more heights. I just want to say yeah from your resident Basement yard scientists, right Curiosity and imagination is incredibly important Keep that let it propel you and your loved ones into a future of not just uncertainty But seeking out life as it is and as it ought to be Patreon comms, I said basement If you would like to fund more research, that's right What is the basement yard if not a show buys half a scientist, uh-huh, you know half scientists? Yes, are we not a show for Scientific exploration Should I talk Don't shake your head in agreement Okay, Mr. Giggles over there. I think he stopped his feet before from laughing. I was crying Boy, people are gonna have a field day with this I can't wait for the scientists to rally behind me. Oh my god Hank are you and it's gonna lose his mind All right, he's too nice though. Hank Green is too nice. He would be like I feel like he's got some fire on him maybe Yeah, maybe Do some research in your lab. You know what? Yeah, I'll do it. I'll do it. I'll follow the scientific method Well, look you guys go follow me. I just gonna go follow the show at the basement our Frank, you know and you could fall You're lucky you guys. We'll see you guys next time. Thank you so much Imagine setting your makeup then forgetting it's even theirs meet new grippy setting mist from Mabelie, New York Gel to mist technology locks in your look for up to 24 hours with flexible all-day comfy grip No tightness. No stickiness. No residue. Just plump. Do we hydrated skin that still feels like your skin? Try new grippy setting mist from Mabelie, New York. Maybe it's Mabelie