#546 - Protect Punch The Monkey At All Costs

fall never arrives all at once first the air then the light and slowly the things you love begin to find each other a jacket meets a dress a hoodie slips beneath a blazer an old cap finds a new scarf because you don't simply step into the season you create it layer by layer until it finally feels like fall find fall your way at ross welcome back to the welcome back to the basement yard oh yeah red big red today i don't really wear red that often but i feel like it's a red day it's a red day it works for you i think it works you got a little red on i got a little red on uh you're always promoting on this i haven't said anything i haven't done anything you went like this i was pointing at the red he's a promoter i was pointing at the red he's a promoter i was pointing at the red he's a promoter i was pointing at the red i was pointing at the red he's a promoter i was pointing at the red he's a promoter i was pointing at the red he's a promoter i was pointing at the red he's a promoter i was pointing at the red shameless you know like that's strike one i think right yeah could we agree on what happens if he strikes out this episode big red like one of your favorite sticks of gum yeah i like it i mean you were a hot tamales whore dude i was a hot you would sit and spin for hot tamales i would i would throw a couple in there you know why do people say sit and spin you know what i did the do you remember this if like nicole had no idea what i was talking about but i was like sit on it and rotate do you remember that what no sorry brother i know sit and spit i don't want to do it to you but sit and spin oh i've heard sit and spin i also heard this was the the chinese middle finger remember that i thought this was the chinese middle finger one of them i think this is made up but you don't remember someone giving you the finger being like sit on it and rotate i mean rotates more sexual than spin well that's the point because because there's like rolling to it you know what i mean you i think i think rotating is slower than spinning spinning's like i mean demonic i guess in demonic i'm thinking of like the the what's her name the exorcist was she spinning her head spun her head spun technically it rotated though yeah and there's a difference between revolving revolving goes around rotating spins on an axis before i you know get into the physics of that a revolving door to me is so stupid i kind of love revolving doors they're like little like they're it's like a fun way to enter and leave a building i it you know what it is fun but i feel like it just slows everything up i well because like they've never they have not perfected the speed at which you go through a revolving door it should be a little quicker like you need like i always feel like i can rush through this thing but then i it stops me there's like i'm like this oh that that's what you do i'm like i'm at like a jog i hate the self-revolving doors like at the airport bro i don't i don't like those mile an hour spin because like i stop and then i take two steps and then i have to stop and take two steps and then like as soon as it opens i like sneak through it like get me the fuck out of here also automatic doors open earlier i am like two inches from this door and it's still closed vehemently disagree i think automatic doors like double doors not like not like uh single automatic doors like the double where you can use the force and open them i think you stick your hand out still to this day oh all right we'll blur it all right believe it or not believe it or not a lot of people aren't as upset about that as you think nowadays jesus christ morbid frank that's some political commentary for you guys bang no but like still to this day i'll i'll walk up and like by myself not with the kids i'll walk up and i'll just be like open no i don't do it like that i go oh my god you're such a nerd do you want a fun fact about revolving doors it's not that fun good well now now hold on now it better be so fun so it's not for speed of entry or anything like that it's to prevent outside air and noise and dirt from entering the building it's because you know you open a door and you get a draft i feel like if anything that does the opposite because it takes big gulps of outside air because like once that door comes in it's like it's that's kind of true and then it and then it's making that sound it's like it's it yeah it does and i don't think that there's got to be a slur in german yeah i'm sorry guys do one more time no i don't want to upset the germans remember what happened last time oh god i need to hear it tough i need to hear it to be able to check so no no i'm not doing it i'm not doing it it i don't think those things are like well ventilated either like there is a depending on the size of this like revolving door you get in and you're like hot boxing steam and fucking musk also they should be bigger i'm in a little tiny triangle pizza in here and i'm i'm stuck you know what i mean i don't like it i agree and if the person in front of you bro have you ever been i almost broke my nose in a revolving door once it stopped on you because a woman in front of me i guess she i don't know what she was doing but she like ran into the door and it stopped the whole mechanism and i kept going well yeah there's like certain ones like the ones at the mall not the mall excuse me the airport where like if you touch it it'll it'll just like seize jams yeah and stop everything i don't like that i think that the theory like the the the belief or the logic or the concept if you say one more or the i'm gonna wrap the phone wire around your neck of a revolving door is there it's great execution has been missing something you know what i do like you know when some doors have a pad outside and when you step on the pad it opens where's this guy going a billionaire building or us it's pretty rare it's pretty rare i don't think i've ever the only time i've seen that is like during halloween where it'll have like a jump scare activated like welcome mat and they'll say like nk if you dare and you step on it and it fucking like pops out at you i feel like i don't even know if that's true but i feel like that is like if i could step on a mat when's the last time you went to like a like a spirit halloween or or one of those stores oh i haven't been to a spirit halloween in a long time because i order my costumes online oh no i went to a party city does that count i mean party city in the 90s was the coolest place to be during halloween do you remember going and seeing all those masks and being like bill clinton a werewolf ronald reagan reagan hit the clown love it here now it's bill clinton hillary clinton it's all the people yeah donald trump barack obama which i wouldn't yeah i don't think we're allowed to wear that yeah i wouldn't um but yeah those are those are very interesting but you so go to like a spirit halloween like headquarters is in new jersey it's open year round i haven't been to that one but apparently it's like an amusement park for like you can go to the hq yeah you can go to the spirit halloween hq and it's like crazy shit what do they do all year round well they're they're developing and creating and designing yeah mario luigi and a slutty nun well it's not just the costumes because those are market those are like third party that they have to get the license for but like their own decorations and animatronics and stuff like that oh yeah and also like the ones that they can't get the licensing for so like they won't get from netflix k-pop demon hunters but it'll be like korean pop star bad guy getters yeah yeah and they'll look exactly mario and luigi it's plumber and then it's plumber's brother and it's but they look like really yeah i mean you gotta go those those places are cool because like some of those animatronics are pretty intense dude like they're if not thousands of dollars and people just put them on their front lawn to get you know eggs thrown at them and shit like that some people there's there's a house in astoria that like sometimes when i go to my mom's and i'll drive home it's on like 21st street and like right by the story of projects there's someone that has like not even like a big front lawn but it's like an older house so it has a yard and they have a i'm not kidding it's got to be 20 feet tall skeleton yeah it's massive and there's another thing i don't remember what it was but i'm like where do they put that in the off season i have no i mean i'm sure it comes apart and folds and stuff like that because they're they're just it looks like bones i don't think it's like blown up it looks like no well yeah yeah i know which one you're talking about they're huge there was one i remember i would see all the time that they put a donovan mcnab jersey on it i was like okay that's so random yeah but they're they're fucking huge and now they do it where it's like bro i remember there was one where they put a donovan mcnab jersey on it and i was like okay that's so random one guy that i had seen once taking the kids trick-or-treating that had like a 30 foot like tall like evil pumpkin skeleton thing and i'm like yo that's got to be hundreds of dollars and it wasn't a big house it was like a little ranch like that that's a lot of fucking shit to have to store or like a jack skellington jack skelton john come on it's a jack skeleton no jack skelton nope i think no don't don't i think you had it the first time jack scale oh jack skellington there it is john skelton i'm thinking of the quarterback remember him john skelton wasn't it his name john skelton he played for the cardinals or something i don't remember i'll try that was i don't know um but yeah dude go into a spirit of halloween just play around a little bit i mean there's none around me there's there's one that opens up like in october in like williamsburg so i've i haven't been in there though but just give it just give it a gander go in there it's kind of a cool i think they got where it's like we don't we close down stores but then we like we're back when it's time you know yeah yeah and they bro - Oh, they get that. shit's up quick like they'll be like spirit halloween coming in a week and then it's the most insane place it's up yeah it's it's crazy do they have big bowls of like loose candy because i enjoy that about party city it's like here's it's 25 cents and it's just like a giant bowl of like wrapped oh i don't i don't know but like they have the one that i i never got it but i thought about getting it one year it's like a bowl and it's meant to be a candy bowl but it has a motion sensor in it and like you put you go to get it and like a creepy hand like grabs your hand or some shit like that yeah i love creepy stuff for for christmas one year i had this a prank box you would love it oh i know which ones you're talking about and you pull it and it looks like a spider oh i don't know that one it's like it just looks like a box and my and i gave it to my mom my mom cries anytime you get her anything so uh as she started crying i was like oh my god this is gonna be so good and then i was like oh my god what if she has a heart attack like immediately that's where my head went yeah and we gave her this little box and then she slides it and then the it looks like a it comes out fast and a spider and she screamed and i was like all right she's good she's alive i learned about pranks uh gifts after i broke my grandmother's finger with a uh a gum mousetrap it was one of those have you ever did you ever see those i've seen them you pull the gum you pull the gum and it snapped and it broke my grandmother's finger did it break it immediately like was it like crushing there like gross it was a 78 year old woman's finger yeah it was broken for fucking eight years and i was like oh my god it's like a million years at that point probably but i'll tell you this did it turn black yeah oh god yeah of course it did bruised up yeah it was it wasn't great imagine thinking you're gonna have a lovely piece of gum and then that results in a broken finger well imagine being 80 and thinking you're safe from that too which is a fair assumption yeah like that age group is like we made it through the world to a world war the korean war vietnam i'm in my golden years i'm enjoying my grandkids here comes my incredible grandson this little piece of shit yeah grandma take a take a piece of juicy fruit it just fucking slaps pulverizes her fucking poor index finger or whatever scream yeah you got in trouble probably i don't your mom was barked i know i don't remember oh my god that's so funny but to bring it back to what you were saying i don't remember oh wow that's how this started yeah i don't remember that i do remember read between the lines do you remember that one yeah read between the lines you didn't have any cool i didn't have that one how'd you tell people to go fuck themselves if you were young and couldn't curse oh he's probably big balls remember he'd be like i just said it and they didn't do anything yeah no it's just the it's just the finger do you remember yo you just awakened a fucking like i forgot about this by grabbing my yeah yeah yeah yeah do you remember when people as like a fuck you would just grab their dick at them yeah what the fuck was that hey hey they'd be like this they'd go hey yo oh yeah suck it you just unlocked something from me you remember that there was the dicks are unlocking there was there was one time we were in front of a diner and it was just me and my friend and this jogger was running by just grazed one of my friends screamed turned around and did that it's like we're children yeah like it was such a thing like it was like hold my dick remember marshawn lynch did it when he scored that beast mode touchdown he like jumped and he like held his dick like yeah that's a weird like let's break that break it down oh i thought you said let's bring it back no that's weird like i got you hold my dick yeah huh it's an interesting uh it felt right when marshawn did it though he earned he earned it because his dick was that run is crazy yeah crazy it's one of those things that like it's like a diss that you don't fully understand i remember there was one time i don't know if you were there but i know like dominic was there and we're sitting outside with ps2 and it's at night we're young we're like i don't know 13 14 or something like that and this car pulls up and this girl rolls down the window and she goes she's clearly drunk and she goes you're a hoss you're a hoss and you're a hoss you're a horse you're a horse and then and then dominic just goes thank you and she drove away and i was like what just happened right now i don't understand you're a hoss you're a hoss and you're a hoss i don't remember a horse being a diss dude i have no idea i was so confused i was like what the fuck does that mean that's such a weird one i also i i now get it but like even still this like up yours yeah like that just seems too aggressive for what you're saying like hey buddy i think it's like an ultimate middle finger or something no it's like it's like shove it up your ass yeah blow it out your ass no that would be a different one shove it up so i think your ass is your hand that's slapping your bicep oh and then and then this is we i but that one i don't remember as much i don't know we what like where do these things come from what was like the diss when you kids were in school i don't know like i don't know all right i don't i don't know i can't remember i don't know i don't know like you know you know what i was thinking about this morning oh boy this would be good i was just gonna say that like when you're young and you're you're a group of white people balls are like a big part of that you know what i mean like it's a weird sentence to say thank you but like you're a group of white people people are constantly pulling their balls out dude like check the time and it's like your balls are on your wrist yes like i can't tell you how many how many of my friends put their balls on their wrists and say yo what time is it and i'm like and now i'm looking at their balls and i'm like why am i looking at balls yeah dude thank you for saying that because as as a you know a film lover a lover of film a cinephile as people may call me as i just got done watching all the jackass content like all that stuff like i look at it and remember like i see it now and i'm just like yeah that's kind of crazy that like you're pulling your boy's balls out to like so he could pee well that is crazy wait that is crazy wait wait what are you talking about there's one part where like uh ryan dunn pulls like bam is wearing a fat suit and he like pulls his stuff out so he could pee i agree that's crazy oh we didn't do that i know we didn't do that i know we didn't do that i know we didn't charge your own balls i know we didn't do that but i'm saying like it was a thing for like teenage boys to be like here are my balls i just tricked you into looking at my balls and you're gay for doing it for looking at my not me the one that wants you to want you and also logic stands fall never arrives all at once burst the air then the light and slowly the things you love begin to find each other a jacket meets a dress a hoodie slips beneath a blazer an old cap finds a new scarf because you don't simply step on it you don't step on it you don't step on it you don't step into the season you create it layer by layer until it finally feels like fall find fall your way at ross to reason that if you did the whole like got you to look at my balls thing there were times where they didn't and then you were just sitting there with your balls on your wrist your balls on your wrist it's just to say did you guys show each other your balls i saw a lot of balls well he didn't show his that would be like giving a free ticket to disneyland dance like look at these there was there was one time where my friend was drunk and he was peeing in the cold outside and he couldn't get the dick and balls back in his pants because he was just stumbling and his girlfriend came fully grabbed them all and put him back in his pants and to me i felt like that was love yeah yeah i mean you have a very flawed view of it but also what what do you mean he was stumbling was he on ice skates it was it was like winter and it was cold and he was just drunk and he couldn't get it back in his pants so he was sober enough to pee standing yeah but he wasn't sober enough to just the jeans caught under the balls and once that happens it's what are you gonna do uh very very simply yeah couldn't do it he couldn't do it but there was someone there to help i think he was just looking for an excuse to get his girlfriend in touch no he didn't say anything we were trying we were all like please put it away like and he just couldn't oh he was just standing around with his whole thing he was stumbling and he's like yeah i can't figure it out so confusing yep i don't know that sounds that little fishy to me i mean but yeah i saw it balls was a big part of like your childhood growing up with your boys this is disgusting it is gross but like there's like there's a certain dynamic that like large male friend groups have that like to the outside world and once you say it like out loud when you're older it's like what the fuck yeah but like that's what it was what a time what a time to be alive what a time honestly insane and then joey would show his balls and ask people to sit and rotate on them no sit on my balls have you ever accidentally sat on your balls dude i sat on my ball i have only sat on my balls like twice in my life so much because i yeah yeah i'm sure big balls over there so you i'm not even gonna ask you you probably sit on them right now it hurts but i sat on my balls one time it must have been just humid out and they were like uh you know your balls are like yo we're getting down here i mean just like there are good and bad hair days you got good and bad dick days dick and bald days i don't know i don't know i don't know And I mean there have been You know there have been times where they're just a rowdy group and they just want to get out and chill a little bit they're like off leash they're off leash i think that's the exact way to put it yeah i sat on it and it just like man that just hurts so bad it's like someone takes a thumb and like puts it right into a bruise do you remember do you remember the thing that people would do where they would kick their leg out and clap their balls against their thigh and it would be like wait what you don't remember that kick their leg out yeah there was like a thing my cousin used to do it i gave a picture yeah my cousin used to do it and it was like he would like kick his leg out to the side like that and like i guess the i'm not he was like a pendulum i'm not a physicist this guy's built like a grandfather yeah he is and it like would smack his balls against his thigh and it would like make a like a clapping noise and he would do it all the time and it was like a thing that that he could do i almost dropped it his name but i didn't could you do it no is it one of these things because i can't do yeah i can do that but that's what it sounded like but like not like repeatedly but it would be like yo that feels disrespectful yo yeah dude i remember just being like that's pretty cool can you do that i can't i know what you're talking about i can't i can do it with this hand not this hand can you show me so you like limp your your your forefinger and you grab you know do i grab hard you too sweet it you you can actually no it's probably a softer and then you just kind of i can't i can't do it with this one how can you not do it with it why i don't know have you ever broken that finger no i've jammed both my ring fingers but that's the only reason the only reason i learned how to do that was because i went to college with a bunch of kids that uh did uh dip like yeah like chaw whatever and i would make fun of them and in making fun of them i i was able i was able to do it because they would have the like oh i thought it was there but like they have that like tin yeah and they would oh fuck you gotta do it altoids and then they would just fucking no because that rings around like the tobacco doesn't and they would just be like i just got i'm ripping a fat fucking gagger right now that's what they'd call it that's a tough sentence and they would sit oh god it was so gross sit there and spit in a cup they'd sit there with a cup and a paper towel crumbled at the bottom of it and then yeah i don't like that at all i mean to be fair you spit into a cup too sunflower seeds baby yeah it's better than i'm not also not it is better it's not health-wise yes but also like they're just spitting spit like my my spitting sunflower seeds is just the shell like there's a little bit of moisture on there do you ever pack lips i did not know fat chaws no but it's hard cheek me chal me it's hard to sound cool calling them gaggers yeah especially in like 2012 where you know what i could use right now the gaggers i need to pack a lip just a giant fucking chaw fat gagger isn't it like you swallow you throw up yeah you get very sick yeah because you're swallowing like just like flavored tobacco yeah i would make fun of people by naturally i'd put tea bags in there did you yeah you like it it's kind of good it probably has a similar effect uh i can almost guarantee it doesn't okay who was rolling around on the floor laughing that you had tea bags in your mouth like who was what was that just to make fun of them i also don't remember this it was in college it was when i was in college it happened at another school of people you never met you know oh yeah yeah you know oh your old girlfriend yeah from canada you know it goes to another school yeah uh yeah no but those i remember those people like those new england boys thought they were from alabama and they were packing lips packing lips and sucking tits that's college baby maybe i guess sucking boobs and um showing your balls to dudes gaggers don't write gaggers i'm writing my notes don't write just just do it just you know what on that note um we do have some sponsors uh the first one being squarespace so squarespace is going to be a platform where you're going to build your website okay uh if you have content that you create or you have you know you have a e-commerce business or something like that something you're selling a service you're providing your website is very important that's where people are going to go it's your first impression so if you don't have a good website then people are going to be kind of deterred they're going to say is this for real or not or whatever so it's important to have a 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to give you more of me i don't know if that's my line i'm saying that's not my line whose line is it oh like whose line is it anyway in the heterosexual sexual encounter yes it's the female one who would be like you know what sometimes hearing flirting even though you see it's working it's a little tough to hear from the outside hearing flirting is tough it's tough i don't admire like not admire i do admire uh i don't like i can't imagine people that have to like write romantic movies oh because like there's like the intimacy that you have to like things that you say or do that might not translate well to like the written word does that make sense i get like how you're saying like i'm ready to give you more of me like if you heard that you might be like sick i mean if i'm in the moment you could say whatever yeah not whatever i mean i don't know why i'm asking like i'm gonna try yeah yeah bro you said that you're about to test me yeah yeah how about this no i don't know but do you have you ever been out at a restaurant or a bar and you you can hear that someone's on a first date yes and you're kind of like i don't even like you're i'm sitting across from you but i don't even care i'm listening to this or i and i love playing the game of oh that worked oh that did yeah i love that is this going well or not going well a hundred percent i'd be Become like a relationship guru witnessing another person on a first date and just be like, oh, look at the body language. Yeah. Yeah. She's not into it. She's not into it. Oh, ordered the lobster. Okay. Maybe she's back in. All right. It's like, who's going to pay? I'm never around for the check, but I do like listening to conversations. I hate going to a restaurant. Well, I kind of love it and hate it. But if I go to a restaurant and they put people right here, like when it's very close, I feel like now I got to whisper my conversation. Yeah. You know, like I hate that. And there's also a weird part of me that like feels like you need to acknowledge the people that are sitting that close to you. Because they're like in your view. Because like, fuck in view, but like they're basically within arm, you know, reach. Yeah, our weenuses are touching. It's a weenie touch. You feel like, I feel like you're a starter of like, oh, that looks good. Like that's how you would start that. I have. I've done that. I have done that and just been like, oh my, you see what they got? Yeah. You know, like I would never do like that right there. So I just, yeah, just be like, can I just what I, you know what we should do? I definitely scope out the food that's arriving at tables to be like, oh, that's the potatoes. I'll be honest with you. If I, I'm not even just a visual scoper of food. If I hear food come out sizzling, I'm like, what was that? Yeah. Cause I know it's a gimmick. Like they cook it on the thing and then they just put it on a wooden tray and then they send it out. But like the sizzle adds a lot to me. So if someone's sitting next to me and I see sizzle on the table, I'm kind of in. Or if you go to a restaurant and it's like, they make something next to your table. I'm like, I want the show. Give me the show. Oh, you want to pay for the, the. I want to show, show up, make the thing. Like table side guac. Yeah. Something like that. Here's the thing that is tough about that though. Every time I've gotten table side guac, it's done by someone that hates doing it. So like, they're just like. So you turn into like a construction worker. Oh, smile. Yeah. Smile for me. Give me a smile. This would be better if you shake your hips while you did it, sweetheart. I'm giving you a compliment. I'm saying you're pretty. Oh, what? So now I can't tell you to look happy. It's just like they, like, I know what you're saying. The theory of like table side food prepared for you is nice, but they do it with such a puss on their face. That like. Yeah. It's not even worth it for me now. I don't even want this. I also just feel so self-conscious about having conversations. Like if I'm out with Nicole and we're talking about something, especially if it's like. Meaningful is not the right word, but like something that I wouldn't want random people to hear, but they're right there. It's kind of like, no, I'm going to tongue like this. And I'm going to like, you know, cause it's weird. You're right here. You're going to listen to my shit. Dude, I can name like, definitely there have been like conversations. People are trying to spark and I'm just like, not here. And I'll be honest with you. Like, I'll be honest with you. Like, it is like more difficult now that like people recognize us when we go places. So like, I don't want something I'm saying to be taken out of context. Yeah. You know what I mean? That actually happened to me once where someone thought I was listening to them. What? I told you this. Did you? I won't say who it was or where it was, what it was about, because I don't want to expose anyone or anything, but I was at our old job at the Navy yard. Oh, oh. Our old job at target, the old, the old office. And I was sitting there and there was a celebrity that came by and, oh, right. And I didn't hear any of their conversation, but they were like, they were there. I was here. And then midway through, like, I like, I just said like, Hey, by the way, I love it. Big fan. Keep going. Congrats on the success. And then I kept eating my lunch and then another like 15 minutes went by and they said like, Hey, um, if you had heard me say anything, you know, please don't like, I don't know if you're a press. And I was like, oh, I didn't hear anything. Don't, don't worry about it. But like, even if I did, I wouldn't say anything. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I mean, I guess you got to worry if you're like an actual celebrity to people being like, I heard so-and-so saying this about blah, blah, blah. I mean, there's a whole fucking Perez Hilton and TMZ and page six. Like that's their whole thing is like gossip columns. Right. Meanwhile, I mean, I'm at dinner. Like, all I want to do is talk some shit and eat a Branzino. You know, that's why I got to say the times that I've been to dinners, whether it be like little pizzerias where like, they're like, we've got the room in the back. Unbelievable. Because you get the experience of being in a restaurant and you get a little bit of privacy. Yeah. Or like being against the wall. Cause it's like, now we can use the wall. I can tell you a secret against the wall. My dad was that guy. My dad was the guy that any restaurant we went into, he asked for the, the, the table all the way in the back corner. And he wanted to sit where he could see everything. And I was like, who are you? Yeah. Jason Bourne. You're going to take everyone out. Who are you dad? You're an overweight Colombian that has no fucking working knees. You're fine. I just like to see a lay of land. What do you, so let me ask you guys, when you go to a restaurant, right? With your counterpart and it's a booth chair, what are we doing? You want the honest answer? Yeah. So I want the booth. You're not supposed to have the booth. I want the booth, right? Why do you want the booth? It's just comfortable for your butt. Yeah. It's just more comfortable. And also I like Frankie's dad. I like looking out. Okay. But if there's a bunch of people in a row and all the guys are on one side and all the girls are on one side, I'm not going to be the different one. Sure. So here's the thing. I'm, I'm only going to take the booth. Yes. I'm going to offer it first to Becca or whoever I'm having dinner with. But if there's more than one person in the booth, we're like, if I have to get out and they have to get out, I'm not doing that. I'm taking the chair because then you got to bounce. Yeah. Yeah. Get out of a booth. There's nothing worse than this. So, so humbling to just be like, I got guys got to use the bathroom. Yeah. You got to bounce out. It sucks. And I'm like shifting my butt. Like, I'm like, what am I doing now? I'll be honest. As a grown man, I am more inclined to go under the table than I am to wiggle my ass through a fucking booth. Frank, if you're, let me give you some advice. If you're at a restaurant and you go under the table, you better be three years old. You cannot be the age you are and going underneath the table. Can you imagine Frank being like, I got to go to the bathroom and just sliding under and then crawl. Wait, I'm telling you right now, if Tim Robinson watches this show, that's a, we just gave you one, buddy. That's a layup and a half. It's like, no, no, no, don't get up. Don't get up. And it just go under the table. And they're like, she's like accidentally hit someone's feet and stuff like that. I know. I said, I'm more inclined to do that, but I'm not going to, it feels like option one for you. It's option two, which is a problem. I always do the, the booth because I'm not going to do that. Cause I feel like the, well, I don't get in the booth. I'm saying I offer up the booth because I, I feel like the chair you're like in the way of traffic. So I don't want it. Like you don't get hit in the head with a tray or something. I'd rather do that because then if I get hit in the head with a tray or something, I'm getting a free meal, a free drink or something. You spill a coffee. I also don't, I also don't, I don't know how this is going to sound, but I feel like the ability to signal a waiter and stuff, doing it from all of them behind you, the other person. I'm never good at it. Well, how do you signal a waiter? Be really fucking on it only when they're in, I'm not saying when, how just, Oh, okay. I thought you were going to be like, no, no snappings. If you had snapped at a waiter, you were fired on the spot. And I think I could say, Hey, that's crazy. Oh my God. I could never, Oh my God. I just watched Marty Supreme and he does that at one point in the movie and snaps at a waiter. I was just like, Oh my God, you know what I did one time by accident? I'm just, who cares? Oh, wait. You're just going to answer. No move. Have I seen it? Yeah. No. Cool. Um, I know what I did by accident. That's really bad. This, this could be, I don't know if it's worse, but it's up there. I came out of the elevator in my building and I was whistling and then like, I, I was like getting, as I was whistling, I was also getting the attention of my doorman. Cause I was checking to see if we had packages and I was, and then I, when I got the packages, I was like, Oh my God. Does he think that I just whistled at him to be like, Hey, here's the packages. Hey, that's like, that's bad. What was the whistle? You got to give us the whistle. Do you remember? I know. I mean, I mean, does anyone remember a whistle? I do. Thank you. Dude, me up. You remember a whistle? Yeah. So when I was an RA, I used to have to do rounds of the building that I was working in and I would go in the one building in particular, I'd go into the suites, which is like people's living quarters basically. And I would. I would always whistle cause it had been stuck in my head for some reason and I loved it. The whistle from kill bill and I would do that and then, but like when there was a group of like 18 year old girls watching TV on the couch and you're whistling walking through, it's like, what the fuck? So I learned very quickly to say, yeah, it's like, also you just look like a hard open like, Oh no, mind me. I'm just doing the rounds. I mean, that was my job. I know that was my job. So like whatever. What were you looking for that make sure they weren't doing drugs? I mean, it's just like you're supposed to do rounds of the building you're supposed to like check the emergency exits you're supposed to make sure yeah you don't hear anyone playing beer pong or like you know smoking a doobie in their room smoking a fad dube smoking a marijuana cigarette yeah you know uh i have something for you if you uh want a surprise quick oh yeah we found a picture of your of your fridge yeah so this woman went viral because of uh what her fridge looked like on the first date what hold on oh that's a woman's fridge yeah it's a woman's this is interesting now because that looks like a man's fridge i'll be honest hold on man takes photo of woman's fridge on the first date and it's going viral be honest you walk into a woman's house on the first date you open up the fridge and she's like i get you a glass of water you're standing right there you peer in and you see 500 fucking hot dogs i mean there's there i i obviously have several questions you -yeah- but i'm not upset about it there's there's two different types of milks if i'm not mistaken what is that yeah it looks like one is like a creamer one is like uh almond milk and the one's a skim oh if i see skim in anyone's fridge i'm fucking never again am i talking to you i knew you were gonna bring that up there is a whipped cream though to be fair there is a whipped cream it looks like there's two things of whether that's sour cream or cottage cheese yeah maybe cottage cheese this is a disgusting i'm pumped about that disgusting for whom uh because it's not very balanced it's just all processed meat also unless this is the 4th of july this is a garage that's a garage fridge that's a garage fridge or you're or you're doing like a fundraiser where it's like cookout for the fire department down on main street and it's like come support the local boys in and girls in red by having a dog for a dollar initial scan and i can only see the front here that's 34 packs of hot dogs and if there's more eight if there's more hot dogs back there oh which you know there is well we can only go by what we see i mean schrodinger's cat if we're going 34 times eight so what's 30 times eight no i didn't know 240 right four times eight is 32 so you got it 72 i get that right sure in what unless you're trying to feed a wedding why would you have and those are also it looks like they're ballpark frank those are thick bastards those are my dad's fingers those are your dad's fingers i'm glad you went with fingers yeah frankie frankie first date's going well you come home you see this fridge do you want a hot dog let's act this out you'd be the you'd be the fridge like person oh i was like what would you have me do i'm me hey i'm a little thirsty first of all we're going back to someone's place for first date game over anyway yeah i ain't thirsty yeah i mean i'm thirsty i'll put up with the thirst i'm thirsty but just not for whatever's in that fridge you know what i'm saying for intercourse for sex so i want the lady fridge yeah all right there's a lot of balls in this for a weekly yeah oh yeah oh yeah demonities right all right is that the french way of saying that demonities hey i'm a little uh thirsty do you have something yeah beer or something i'm fine whatever you got i'm easy um i might have a beer let me see wow what uh why do you have so many hot dogs what do you mean i mean i love hot dogs i just like you clearly have an abundance of them what's going on here that's a lot i mean you're right a lot of subjective i have a lot of uh yeah yeah i mean i like hot dogs do you want a hot dog i mean how yeah okay how do you like you want me to boil water you want to microwave it i'll take it right out of the package i'm okay you're gonna eat it raw yeah i'm raw are you okay okay i was believing it okay okay i do eat hot dogs out of the package no could i yes will i probably have you my maybe you bastard i might have i don't i can't with confidence say i haven't i definitely have eaten frozen like pizza pockets before though frozen yeah like out of the thing like they're just they're just frozen i was drunk what's pizza pockets pizza pocket like a like a hot pocket pizza rolls you ate frozen i was i was didn't that hurt your teeth your little teeth didn't feel good don't don't no no no don't do that back to the hot dogs yeah i will say this i will immediately worry about this person's cardio health and their their cholesterol i'm worried about their i mean i'm not going to jump to being worried about someone's yeah i'm not worried about the on the first day hey i'm worried about your asshole hey marissa i can't help but notice all the hot dogs i'm worried about your i'm really just worried about your ass dude i love i love hot dogs no one is a bigger hot dog fan than me i'm just really worried about like what could be going on with your ass holding now hey uh sorry it's so late i just i've been up all night thinking about your and just how it could be in bad shape yeah hey that was a fun date let's do it again sometimes is your okay so many ways to go about that i don't hate this as soon as i open the fridge i'd have to explain this you have to explain this yeah well i would take out that middle pack like the first the the ones in the middle the two on top i'd pull them out and be like how far does this go right you know i i just i would be more impressed at the level of like tetris like packaging that this person clearly went through in order to make this all fit because this this took taking stuff out putting it back in in order to make it all fit oh yeah yeah yeah and that looks like it's like the is that the plastic is still on those bottom parts of the fridge so like they might they might have gotten this fridge just to hold the hot dog yeah it's a brand new fridge uh my last one couldn't hold all the doggies that's my hot dog fridge out there damn i kind of love that i'm hoping this is a it's a garage fridge but you wouldn't have creamer in that classic that's a great point you wouldn't have a half thing of skim milk you're going out to the garage to drink some milk can you imagine this does have classic like we're having a barbecue do you have a garage uh fridge yeah it's got a new one actually what's in there like meats and it looks like it looks like this no i'll be honest with you right now it's mostly beer okay because like we had people over and like whatever alcohol doesn't get drank we just put it back in there right uh and then the freezer is most if not all meat and frozen vegetables nice and if we get like a costco order of like almond milk or something we'll put one in the regular fridge and then the rest will go back in there is it a regular fridge or a dead body fridge regular fridge i don't want i don't like chest i don't like the chest um freezer or chest fridge or anything like that because as someone that had them i think you have a chest freezer like the bottom part of your freezer right oh no my actual fridge yeah you put stuff in there and then put stuff on top of it and forget about the stuff on the bottom and it's gone forever yeah yeah you'll never ever ever experience it ever again yeah ever um you ever play kill the garage fridge when you were kids younger what kill the garage free like if your friend had a fridge in the garage filled with drinks you never played kill the fridge oh like just drink it all mm-hmm no i've never heard of that but that does sound like a game we would have played i feel like i was like the only person who had a garage no josh had one oh josh had a garage josh had one i think who else it's not a lot of people like garages yeah we had an alleyway and an abandoned van that we would go drinking yeah we used to live in frank's van for an afternoon yeah oh it was your van it was our van that we left in the backyard it was abandoned and we would just go in there and drink what is that what is if it's your van what is a what is abandoned i i was picturing something on the street how could you abandon something that is yours because you don't use it feels like neglect more than abandon what's the difference between neglect and abandon i guess abandon is like you drop it and then leave it i don't think that yeah you don't think you could abandon something like in your own home yeah you can you can neglect it abandoning is like driving out to the country and leaving and bouncing you're probably right but like i was picturing a van where did you where did you guys drink when you were younger one of our friends house oh wow yeah we all had a friend in the basement we would hit the park a lot park absolutely but then once one of our friends like we realized we can just go and drink without any worry whatsoever at one of our friends houses we would yeah i mean there was also someone's house here that was kind of also a party house at times i don't know what you're talking about but like i don't know i don't know what you're talking about me too for certain things your basement super bowl super bowl i'm saying like younger than that oh yeah like your basement younger than the super bowl what i'm like you are like super bowl was more like yeah um but like damn what was the last time you had a keg oh my god i don't know i'd like to do a keg wait we did a keg for your birthday didn't we or someone's birthday at your house am i making that up not my house i think danny had one because they had like people over for a party but i swore you had a keg and you know why i remember no my danny danny and my sister had one because my dad they set the keg up and everything and my dad just showed up and he goes look at this and he just poured salt all over the ice and i was like yeah and he goes makes it colder there he goes Which I think that's true. It is, but, like, the fact that my dad was just like, watch this. Yeah. I was like, you're an idiot, Dad. We were freshmen going to, like, a senior party, and we got there early, classic, and the guy who was running it said, you know how to tap a keg? And I went, yeah. And he handed me the stuff, walked over to the keg, and I looked at everybody else and went, how do we do this? Yeah. The most, like, the worst, like, getting drunk on a keg moment I've ever had was at Pete's graduation party. That's, I think, like, it was, like, keg stands, and then I got down, and then his brother handed me, like, Jack Daniel's honey. Ew. And I was like, get this. And it was also, like, they had, like, kegs of, like, lion's head. Yeah, yeah. Like, heavy, because Pete and his brother, like, love, like, craft beer and stuff like that. Yeah. So they had, like, a craft beer. It was, like, a mini keg, like an eighth or something like that. Yeah. And it, fuck, ruined my day. I hate keg stands, man. I kind of don't hate them. God, I'm upside down. What are we doing? I just think it's funny that, like, you can drink that way. I can't. I'm not really good at that. You can't do a keg stand? I mean, I can. It's just not very good. Especially if it's, like, a new keg, and this thing's blowing at me. I also just like the feeling of, like, everyone's putting their mouths on this keg, like, tap thing. You know, not something I ever thought about. Well, because we were fucking immortal. We were a child. We were children. Yeah. Children. I don't know. About, you went away to school, right? But I didn't go away, but we used to go to Binghamton parties, like, and, dude, there were frat parties where it was just a garbage can. Yes. Just a garbage can with drinks, and I went, I'm not drinking this. Yeah, I went to. Wait, what do you mean? Like, the frat parties, they would set up just garbage cans of drinks in it, and that's how you. But, like, closed drinks. No. No. What do you mean? No. It was literally, like, you'd go in, like, a, like, 48 or 125 gallon garbage can. Yeah. Yeah. And they would put a garbage bag in it, and they would pour ice in it, and then the drinks, like, opened. So it was just, like, a punch bowl, but a garbage can, brother. That's crazy. Yeah, I've been to a couple of those. You went to the fancy ones with bags. Well, yours was just in a raw garbage can? Some of them were, and I wasn't drinking out of that, but everyone did. Yeah. Everyone did. It was a thing. It was like, and they'd call it jungle juice, because they would just get everything they could get their hands on and just put it in a tub. Oh. Oh, I remember that. Like a hotel room. Yeah. Yeah. Ugh. Yeah, that's disgusting. That's fucking atrocious. Sometimes. But I guess science allows, it dictates that, like, alcohol kills the bacteria. Kills the bacteria. So, like, we're the same, right? If you're sick, like, a little bit, and you, like, take a shot of whiskey or something, like, is that doing something? Ah, I should have asked fucking Dr. Mike that. Uh, he's not here. The next best thing. And you're sitting in your seat. The next best thing. Huh? The next best thing. The next best thing is here. I would imagine that it just, like. Doesn't do anything great. Like, it just, like, if anything, it probably makes it worse, because alcohol's a blood thinner. So, like, if you have, like, a runny nose or something, it's going to just make it worse. Just a little shot. I mean, I'm not, anything that I, like, when I drink, like, ginger ale, I've convinced myself that the bubbles kill if I have a sore throat. Mm-hmm. I know it's not true. That's funny. My dad said taking a shot clears the sinuses. That may be true. I think that is true. That is true. He had a lot of colds. You know what I used to do? Not used to do. I did this, like, twice, a couple times. I would take, like, two shots and then go out in the cold, because I thought it would warm me up. I think it does. It, like, raises, it increases your heart rate. I mean, especially me, I'm Irish. My face gets red. Doesn't it say, like, I do think that alcohol increases your heart rate, so, like. Warms you up. Scientifically, you're there. Yeah, I guess we go a little bit. You're there. You're not wrong. Yeah. Oh, man. I know it's gross. It's gross, but, like, nothing tasted better than putting just vodka in, like, a Snapple bottle with Snapple. Yeah. Like, it's gross, but, like, it's so nostalgic. You know what was a great drink? One time, this was, like, eight years ago or nine years ago, something like that, and it snowed like crazy, and we built an igloo in my front yard, and I took a bottle of Jameson, and it was just me, my brother-in-law, and Keith, and we sat there. I just drank out of the bottle. In an igloo, dog. It's amazing. I don't know if I was telling you guys this story recently, but myself, Espo, and our friend Pat would take a, not a regular bottle of Jack, the Magnum one that, like, was, like. The Big Mama. The Big Mama, and we would kayak across the lake, and we would. That's such a bad idea. There was, I know. Don't do this. And there was a part of, like, where the shore, like, the shore was back here, but, like, trees hung over it. So, there was, like. 25 feet where you can just park your kayak, and you could see clear, like, it was, it was beautiful, and we would sit there and just drink the bottle, and then kayak back, and we would be obliterated. Yeah, I'm way back. We used to do all those, like, buzz balls and shit like that. I've never had one of those. They look good, though. Never had a, no? Not good. You guys did the BBC challenge, right? We did the BBC challenge. We could do that. I don't think we could do that. You did a BBC challenge? What are we talking about? Fall never arrives all at once. First the air, then the light, and slowly the things you love begin to find each other. A jacket meets a dress, a hoodie slips beneath a blazer, an old cap finds a new scarf, because you don't simply step into the season. You create it, layer by layer, until it finally feels like fall. Find fall your way at Ross. What are we talking about here? We did. They sit and spin. Yeah, we did. Yeah, that's what it sounds like. This is getting me excited for the 40 hands. Did you beat the challenge? Did you conquer the BBC? We did conquer the BBC. It didn't end well. What's going on over there? Did you have, did you guys ever have the sour drinks, the suck-ons? Huh? The suck-ons. The sour one? I don't know what the, suck-ons. I didn't say it. I didn't say it. I definitely did. Did I say it? I definitely got him. I definitely got him so good. I feel like I didn't say it. Every time he says something, you gotta look at me. He got you. He half got, I'll give you, you gotta, you gotta half got him. You gotta half got him. That's two. That's two. Oh. You thought there was a drink called suck-on? I don't know. I mean, you're talking about BBCs. Like, there's fucking anything that's possible. That's true. There's anything that's possible. Oh, God, it feels so good. You're gonna have to, you're gonna have to do something about that. I'm gonna bring the, I'm gonna bring the, I'm gonna bring the, I'm gonna bring the, I'm Going right into the ads after you mention BBCs. Yeah. We have some more sponsors on the show. We have prize picks. Prize picks, listen, it's a lot of fun. It's a simple, it's simple to play. So, you know, all you have to do is pick more or less on two to six player stat projections. So, when it comes to soccer or UFC, hockey, baseball, basketball, whatever it is, they will be projections. So, you'll say, is Jalen Brunson gonna have more or less than 18 and a half points? Something like that. 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That you did that. That's two. You upset him. What? You upset him. I mean, that's. I'm mad at you. You brought that into the world. That's two. And I gotta be honest. I think that. I'll probably hang it up as far as I get you. Maybe one or two more times. But be on your toes. It's. It's gone. But also, to my defense, I set that up well. Because. Suck-ons? It's just the whole sentence. Well, there's, like, blowjob shots. Remember those where it'd be like, you ever had a blowjob shot? How do you do those again? You want to demonstrate, Frankie? I don't know. I wouldn't be able, but it's like, they put, like. Whipped cream? It's like Kahlua or whatever, and then whipped cream. And then you're supposed to, like, with your mouth, go over it and take it and put it down or something like that. I can't drink like that. Me neither. It's impressive that people do that. Can you do that? i think can you drink with your mouth open i think i can yeah because that's why i was so good at like uh when i'd go to like hibachi like sake you know what i'm saying that's why i was so good at going to hibachi yeah i'm serious the guy would hit you with the he'd hit me with the thing and he you know they do the impression you were just doing it well i mean it's close yeah uh but they and i would just keep going you know i'm not yeah you've already done it i'm not gonna be there but like it was like a thing and i would drink a lot of sake because i could i could swallow i can't do that can can you do the thing where you know how you see some people take a beer and they just open their throat and it's gone no no i gulp i have to gulp i don't understand how that works me neither well dr mike did tell us it was just a big straw so i guess if you could figure out a way to open it i think that if you yeah once you like have like complete control of your throat you're doing pretty well for yourself like that dude bevo remember him bevo yeah remember bevo bevo the guy who would like take a bite or something he'd go like let me taste this yeah and he'd swallow a whole potato after a bite it's just now i'm thinking now i remember like there was something that he really struggled on this is also pretty niche i don't know yeah but but it was just funny it made me laugh uh i think it's uh it's certainly a skill have you guys seen punch the monkey do you know punch i've heard what is this it's a monkey but like okay why do people care because it was a monkey that was like abandoned and then the zookeepers to my knowledge this is the story zookeepers gave the monkey uh a like a teddy bear but it's like also a monkey and he just carries it around and he like hugs it and like he's in it look how cute dude that's an ugly monkey frankie we'll be careful there's a lot of a lot of punchies out there yeah really like people like strong like people love this monkey dude you want to see what the home page of google looks like when you search them look at this get the fuck out of here like it's a beloved monkey and i love this monkey so much because well you just feel bad like a lot of them other monkeys are like not nice to them and they like push them and they're like no i'm out of here how do we know it's not for like a good reason like what if this is a little punch what if he's a bad guy monkey what if he's just like an antagonistic little prick no he's nice frank he's sad and he's dragging his fucking teddy bear around so wait these other monkeys are like bullying him kind of i i've been hearing stories that he's being more and more accepted there's so much more going on in the world that we need to be paying attention to i agree i agree but at a japanese zoo lonely baby monkey yeah who gave it the name punch by the way yeah it's a great question also that's another thing he's like actually hitting people no no people i don't like look he drags it around it's so sad i did see an article that they're coming out with a video game now where like you can play as punch the monkey and like beat up other oh come on oh my god come on frankie come on that doesn't what i mean it's a monkey it's cute ish but like i have kids you're a heartless prick i'm not a heartless how am i heartless because that's cute that's okay oh you're heartless i'd be nice just in case it turns into this situation that's a great point i'm not saying that that that's actually a really good point i should i should recant all that so what if it turns into planet of the apes and now yeah um just edit all this out no we're keeping it in so ask me again what i think about punch the monkey no i'm not too late no come on that's a pretty good picture i like seeing monkeys oh don't do that no punch punch punch remember this i do i do like that you're not a punchy punch i've always been as as a as also someone that was outcasted by society what the hell are you talking about ridiculed because of their looks whatever you're being ridiculed for you also carry around toys as a fellow person that loves to carry around something that brings them joy i'm not heartless you're heartless if that was you if this was your child you'd rip that fucking stuffed animal from that poor monkey's hands and you'd say it's time to get rid of it okay you don't know me at all all right really yeah because i had tears in my eyes the first time i saw a video tears in your eyes you're crying for what because it's sad they're pushing him and he's just sad and lonely it's a lonely monkey look i got a tear right there you just licked your face that's disgusting it's not that gross have you seen videos on tiktok of people like in bali or something like that and then they come back to their hotel room or their airbnb and there's just a fucking monkey in there dude i'd be hyped hype brother i'd be scared but hype dangerous if it was a big monkey i'd be scared i mean even a monkey that size could do some fucking damage no no no bro i would be like i would try to hug it i have learned through watching the show alone that smaller animals can still be very dangerous yeah but me too but like yes but like like for instance there was an episode a season of alone where they were like the tasmanian devil you've got to be careful it's a little rat no apparently they're really dangerous it's got the word devil in its name well that's just because it's a little rat it's a little rat because of the screams can it also create tornadoes that suck me in no i wish i'd be so cool that's taz isn't that what you said the tasmanian devil's an actual animal bbc over there he's still yeah he's i don't i don't feel that bad for this this little monkey i feel bad i mean i think that he's okay now and he's got some friends with him but he would try to hang out and the other monkeys would just they're kind of ruthless so i could fuck out of you a punch no one cares about you all right so put your money where your mouth is fucking adopt punch i mean they definitely don't allow that why not bring him in here his motherfucking abandoned him that's what the story that sucks his mom sucks i will say that yeah probably probably a bitch i mean jokes on us once we get the opportunity to like talk to animals and hear what they're saying oh my god i'm telling you punch did something bad dude i really that's a good picture oh my god i'm gonna explode if that's even real it's from facebook chance is our it's not real it's a it's a good point but it's fine but you got the idea it's the idea oh my god such a cute photo you should get some punch merch i want to hug them oh this is adorable oh my god give me a fucking break frank frankie said that he despises this i didn't say despise i said i just don't care you said yeah i mean what's camera stuffed animal my kids are cuter that's the thing is like i have who's comparing them me for what reason i have a certain amount of love that i can give and i'm choosing to not give it to this don't put a limit on your love i i don't have a limit on my love but i have a limit on where i'm putting my love that's a limit on your love buddy no no the amount of love that i have is limitless okay like that bradley cooper movie but the amount of love that i have for this i don't need to put my love in that you know what i'm saying here's where my love is distributed right now my kids my wife retro toys and video games uh my friends minor league hats yes hats in general king crab legs king crab fuck yeah absolutely desserts it seems like you're taking an approach to this that is becoming mean yeah you loved it yes but i don't like correct i don't like hearing it from you hot dogs having hot dogs tomorrow for dinner by the way oh am i excited you're gonna post some stupid shit suppose suppose a dumb dog something stupid you should like load it load that fucker like load it up yeah like get it like geared up and ready to go are you uh against like putting uh like mac and cheese on a dog or something like that i'm not against anything except for mustard and even if you do mustard just don't don't do it by me do do a fucking like uh some fucking mac and cheese maybe a little bacon crumble on that bit i mean i'm not i do have mac and cheese and bacon in my fridge right now so maybe i will just an idea suggestion what is it i got one what if it's a a hot dog and i cut it up into sections and then in between the two sections i put a mozzarella stick what would it just be the ends of a hot dog it would just be the knobs yeah and then uh just eat a mozzarella stick okay what if you cut up equal parts hot dog mozzarella stick and alternate can't cut the mozzarella stick then you lose the pole oh god it's a good point it's crazy yeah no it's a problem it's gonna be it's gonna be a big fat filthy gagger we could call it that how many you think that you're gonna go you know let me ask you a question well i i i did the responsible thing and i only bought eight so i'm i'm frank you're not gonna eat eight that's insane i mean i won't because like i'm sure becca will have one i'm sure miles or one of the kids will have one or two all right like but if you lived alone you would you'd eat eight frankie eight hot dogs is outrageous you're not gonna eat eight hot i did like 10 in a weekend last year you think that yeah but that's yeah eight in an evening where baseball's on what what game are you watching usa brazil for every point the usa scores have a dog called a run it's called a run yeah this guy this guy for every you know what i'll do that but i didn't get enough like i'd be a grand slam just get more i mean if we're being realistic i will have at least four yeah realistic Realistically, I might have more. Right. So maybe it is a runs thing. Yeah, just do it. Not in the game, but by USA, which they could run it up against Brazil. Yeah, Brazil doesn't have a really great team. I don't know. What do I do if they score nine? Buy more hot dogs, Frankie. You want me to stop? No, you've got to max out. No. I have to max out? I mean, again, I have to feed my family. Well, do you? I mean, well. There's mozzarella sticks. Oh. You said there were mozzarella sticks. There are. And bacon and mac and cheese. You're fine. Oh, the mac and cheese. The game does start late, so I will push back dinner as far as I can. So this is what you do. You take the bun, and you put mac and cheese in it, and we'll count that. As a hot dog? Yeah. I can have a whole box. That's not good. Don't tell me to do that. Yo, you could eat a whole box of Velveeta mac and cheese very easily. Without question. Without. With ease. With ease, brother. I think I used to do that. Yeah, probably. Like, I just would crush a whole box of Velveeta. You know what's really good? If you chop up a chicken cutlet and throw it in there. Something in my eye. That's weird. Something in my eye at the exact same time. Whoa. What's going on? I think Joe spit at us. Whoa. What the fuck? Yeah, no. Nice try. Nice try. That was good acting. Thank you. Very good. Jesus. I don't know. But yeah, this monkey punch. I hope it pays. It finds a caretaker. Well, it has a caretaker. Bro, what else do we got to do for this thing? It's in an enclosed space. It's kept safe. It gets fed for free. This thing is living on taxpayer money in Japan. You see where I'm going with that? More political commentary. Yeah, I don't even know if that's true, but obviously it's not. It has to be. Yeah. What time is the game on? 8 o'clock. 8 o'clock, baby. You got to watch it. What time do you usually have dinner? Oh, yeah. You have like an early dinner. Yeah, we have it earlier because of the kids. Like 5.30, 5-ish, you know. That's a launch. That's crazy. That's not a launch. You the other day said that you went to dinner at 10 p.m. And I was like, whoo. Well, it was just a tough reservation to get. So, like, that's all they had. I wouldn't opt to go at 10. I wasn't. It was good. I had a fried mackerel. Oh, I thought a mish. I was still on mac and cheese, so I thought it was mack roll. I had a mack roll. Ooh. No, it was a fried mackerel. Did it come out, like, fried? It looked like a whole fish, though. No, no, no. It was like a, but it was a healthy, like, square. It was like that. I love when they come out like branzino, like a whole fish, and you can dig through it like you're, like, a bear. Yeah, I do that at places when I get the branzino. Sometimes they're like, oh, you want us to do it? And I was like, I'll just claw at it. But debone it. Yeah. But I'll claw at it. Yeah. You know? Be a filthy little slut for it. I went through, I went to a place once, and they give you the cage. Yeah. So you know how they cook it on a cage sometimes? No. They, like, put the fish in, like, this cage thing, and they shut it, and then they cook it, and they, like, just turn it. And they'll put it on a plate. They give you a cage. Really? Yeah. And I was like, it's cool. I got the cage now. I'm certain there are some places in Jersey that are, like, just, like, shacks where you can show up and eat a bunch of seafood. I'm kind of starting to want to do that. Because I like the idea of going to, like, a little building on a dock and just be like, we just caught, what did we catch? Yeah. We just caught, we just caught a monster. We just caught a monkfish. We just caught a towelfish. And it's got, like, it's got, like, barnacles on it. It's still got barnacles and sand on it and shit like that. Yeah, yeah. And you eat it with your hands. No, you're not into that? Not one part of that sounds enjoyable. Do you like seafood or no? I like, I like seafood. What was that? I don't know. Just in case. Now I'm on edge. Seafood dick! Like, what do you think I'm going to say? I like, see, threw my nuts! Um, I like shellfish. I don't really like seafood. But a tuna tartare is really good. A tuna tartare. A tuna tartare. You like, wait, you like seafood? So you like shellfish. So you like shellfish, but you don't like, so you don't like salmon, but you like shrimp. Yes. Like, weird. That's weird. Usually it's the opposite. Yeah. Is it? Yeah. Oh. Maybe I'm just an opposite today. What about lobster? You like lobster? Yep. All right, good. So here's what we're going to do. When the weather gets nicer. Oh my God, I'm so excited for it. There's a place in Greenpoint. Yes. Fucking good lobster rolls. And then we'll get a nice bottle of white wine and go with it. Oh my God, that sounds, I'm writing that down. Write it down. I'm writing it down. Yeah. I've been there a couple of times. It's fantastic. Can we walk? Uh, no. Sounds lovely. It would be better if we could walk. Joe? Maybe we could. I actually have no idea how close it is. Joe? I love. It is a little further from my apartment. I'm strong. I love food. I feel like towards the end of every episode, we start talking about food and I get really hungry. I think it's, we're like a shoe in for the, oh, Joe, we can certainly walk. It's a 12 minute walk. Yeah. Yeah. We got to go. 12 minutes, baby. That's. That's eight minutes. New York. Yeah. I mean, excited to get a lobster roll. I could get there in five. Here's the thing though, is that I'm going to go there and I'm going to have to eat three lobster rolls and I'll be $85 in the hole. That's the only thing that's tough about lobster rolls is you, they're, they're this big. Uh, these are decently sized. And how much are they? 30 bucks. I have no idea. They're probably 30. Why are you ruining this experience? I'm just letting you know, this is my issue with lobster rolls. They're delicious. They're great. They're done well. But for what you get and what you pay, clear difference right there, baby. Warm or cold. Couldn't care. Yeah. They have a, they, they have an option. Yes. Couldn't care. I'll take them both ways. Hell yeah. I'll take them both. I'll take them both fucking down. Make half of it hot, half of it cold. Oh man. You want to know how much this fucking lobster roll is? I'm going to, I'm going to bet. What's it come with? Is it just a lobster roll? Does it come with like chips or fries? Um, it, I think it comes with fries. Yeah. Okay. I'm going to say. It's $32. Okay. What do you say? I couldn't even begin. Uh, 28. 28 feels right. No, it's 38. That's what I'm saying. I'm going to have to eat three of those suckers. You might not have to. There's other stuff though. Spicy salmon. Company card? No, this one's on you. Oh, it's on you. Hell yeah. On me? Or maybe I was looking at you. I saw where you were looking. I wasn't. I was looking at Frank. All right. I'll pay. We can go as friends. I'll pay. No, no, no. I'll pay. Oh, we have to go three times then. Sure. Okay. Dude, that's. Yes, we do. There's shishitos on the menu. Come on. Dude. I am a little fucking slut for shishito peppers. Yeah. Holy shit. Some blistered shishitos. Ugh. God almighty. Padron peppers? What's that? It's basically the same thing, I think. Oh, yeah, baby. Yeah, they got some stuff here. It's like getting rounds at a bar. You know, everyone takes a turn. Yeah, they say that that actually encourages more binge drinking than anything else. Because it's like, well, everyone has to drink. So if there's seven people. If there's seven people there, you have to have seven beers. I mean. I don't know who made that rule. I think if I'm buying. No, no, no. Like when I learned about like. Because I took a class in college about like drinking like bartending. How have you taken a class in college about every topic we've ever said? It was my senior year. I took mixology class, which was. You get hammered. Dude. The greatest college course ever. Taken. And in the spring, we took history of beer, which was just drinking beer every single class and learning about a different type of beer. And we had field trips to breweries, breweries, restaurants, bars. I take it back. That's cool. That's fucking cool shit. But I forgot what I was trying to tell you. Oh, we learned about like binge drinking and like blah, blah, blah. And they say that like that, like they teach people not to do that because it like encourages more binge drinking, not healthy alcohol. Consumption. Hmm. Sound like a bunch of nerds. Some people care about others, about their brothers, about their sisters, about their siblings that may not be related to them. Hmm. But yeah, we're going to get the most expensive lobster rolls this world has to offer one day, but it's got to be nice out because we got to sit outside. Okay. Oh, and like a picnic table, like a wooden picnic table. It is a wooden table. I love that place that we went to in Long Island City. Something Basin. Annabelle Basin. Annabelle Basin. That place was good. Yeah. Like they had good bites. Yeah. What did they have? Oh, they have like a bison burgers. I'm in. That's what I usually get there. I am in, baby. I watched a soccer game there once by accident. I didn't know there was a soccer game on. World Cup this summer too. Oh, that's a good idea. Outdoors, lobster roll. On the water. On the water. Soccer. Soccer. Oh yeah, baby. Yeah. I'm in. I'm in. Are you in? I hope. Are you one of those nerds that roots for Italy during the World Cup or like? Yeah, he is. Yep. If Italy's on, that's cool. But US, whichever one. Whichever one's on, you know. Did he have a tutti jersey? Totti. Totti. That's what I said. Okay. No, Buffon 2006. A jacket meets a dress. A hoodie slips beneath a blazer. An old cap finds a new scarf. Because you don't simply step into the season. You create it layer by layer until it finally feels like fall. World Cup. Buff on these nuts. I said it. He said it, though. You can't piggyback off that. I mean, it's fine. Piggyback these nuts. you'll get there i want you to go home and just write as many of those as you can to try to get us no because i know that's what you did yep i can't even defend he was in the car like you yeah well they didn't well they might have seen that if it's on patreon well i'm writing a hot streak baby and it's so funny because i saw a tiktok that was just like it was when i try to do the whole like slobbanese or something you know or gargle garglese or slobbanese or whatever and someone was just like one day i want him to get them once and i was like your wish will be your demand the yukon was bad yukon was great well no i mean like like that was like completely getting both of us will be tough getting joe seems pretty easy i think you're so on guard yeah you're so on guard whatever i'll lower my guard joey said before like oh i want to go to the store and you're like or seafood yeah like seafood i'm not seeing your food food dick well usually i forget but then once it happens you know i get guards go back up i don't know you'll never get us again that's for sure i'm gonna get got probably every attempt that you guys don't say that you will never ever get us again i'm never expecting someone to be like my butt my nuts oh my god we should have a rule we should write in a rule you know how like he points at me i get ten dollars i say bitch he gets ten dollars or something like that we should have a rule that whoever gets got has to like a hundred bucks a hundred bucks but like starting now no absolutely i'll do that i'll start i'll no i can't i'll start i can only do so many or else you guys will stop talking to me well yeah yeah i'll make them perfect i don't know about that yeah don't don't don't what are the rules here oh we're making like i have to well like you say yukon and then i say i have to say yukon you definitely have to say it you have to say it back like what's yukon or yeah or just like in a question but like the imagine dragons one we didn't say like imagine dragons watch the clip again buddy we did say imagine dragons did i said no way imagine dragons what and you both said imagine dragons he was trying to get it out so bad i got a little excited imagine dragon these nuts across your face got him got him so good okay so that's the rules and every time someone does a hundred bucks okay right knit right now hundred bucks which where are we at right now how much money does he owe me do you actually have a counter over there joe has 12 and you have nine you've been you've been you've been bitching it up what 12 is like what did i he oh oh yeah got him 13 13 oh he owes me 130 i don't even understand the pointing thing it's not it's definitely not as bad as the bitch well i for some time a couple bitches counted as two because some of them were bad wait what just a couple times wait who's making these also people in the ant colony keep going back and sending me different bitches i missed so i keep adding i love how he says people in the ant colony yeah like they are part of it now that's that's basement yard and you're the queen bee sure the fattest butt absolutely bees and ants are different i know animals this queen ants i know there are queen ants but he called you queen bee but they have the fat butts they are huge asses dude the queen the queen ant shake your ass for us oh my god queen ant an ant oh that's why the ant colony you yeah yeah yeah he just doesn't he doesn't get it sometimes it's okay i can see your your brain turning right now about what you're trying to do a suck on my nuts it's definitely thinking and you're like yeah yeah yeah like you're like pensive he's like yeah yeah yeah yeah i was just thinking like oh i could get one in before the end of this episode i'm like it's like i could get one you know all i keep thinking in my head is suck nuts like i can't yeah i'm not gonna i'm not gonna show you i'm not gonna show my my bare bottom here all you'll have to wait for that all right uh i guess that's all i thought you were gonna i thought you were gonna say something no i wasn't i wasn't i wasn't oh god um frank where can they find you uh you find me the frank alvarez everywhere we're all of us are on guard now i don't like it we're we're we're we're we're we're like waiting for something to happen i i need something to drink i need a cup of something okay this is the bad this is bad we probably shouldn't do this couple a couple why not yeah the frank alvarez everywhere uh go check out patreon patreon.com slash the basement yard you guys wild you went on patreon thank you so much incredibly incredibly uh gracious for that so thank you patreon.com slash the basement yard and the basement on all socials we're gonna find you don't tell no you can find me aunt prisco on instagram uh go follow me at joe sanagato go follow the show at the basement yard and that is all see you guys next time fall never arrives all at once first the air then the light and slowly the things you love begin to find each other a jacket meets a dress a hoodie slips beneath a blazer an old cap finds a new scarf because you don't simply step into the season you create it layer by layer until it finally feels like fall find fall your way at ross