545 - Don’t You Like Weirdos?

This is exactly right. I'm Nancy Glass, host of the Burden of Guild Season 3 podcast. This is a story about a horrendous situation that destroyed two families. It's a scorched earth war that shows just how far someone will go to get what they want. Cindy said I had to choose between the truth and my family, and I had to choose the truth. According to Season 3, a burden of guilt on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcast, or wherever you get your podcast. Hello, it's me, Anna Sinfield, the host of The Girlfriends. I'm back with more one-off interviews with some truly kick-ass women on The Girlfriends Spotlight. I'm going to climb this! Is badness hereditary? Let's see how we can stop killing. I'm not too intimidated by her. What are you talking about? Listen to The Girlfriends Spotlight on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcast, or wherever you get your podcast. Hey, Portlandia fans. Carrie Brownstein and Fred Armasson here. The dream of the 90s is alive in podcast form. We're launching Podlandia AO rewatch, our brand new podcast where we revisit every episode of Portlandia together, breaking down sketches, going deep on our iconic characters, and pulling back the curtain on how it all got made. And we'll also be joined by the people who helped bring it all to life. Guest stars, collaborators, and friends, including director Jonathan Kreisel, the mayor himself, Kyle McLaughlin, legendary musician Amy Mann, and many more. Kyle is going for it here. You fully improvised not just words, but a song about it. Well, I thought you were all going to write a song. I remember you thinking that. Listen to Podlandia AO rewatch on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcast, or wherever you get your podcasts. Hello, and welcome to my favorite murder. That's Georgia Heart Start. That's Karen Killgaraf, non-duer listener. You need to know that Georgia is wearing a floral mechanics jumpsuit. I am. With pockets. It's major. Thank you. All in one. All in one zip up. Got to get naked to pee. That's what you're so good. Fully naked in public bathrooms to pee. It is. But yeah, I feel like I feel powerful and like capable in this. Yes. I've never worn a jumpsuit before. It's great. It's a company called Mixed By Nazrin, who makes these, and it's like their thing. Mixed M-I-X. M-I-X-D-E-D. And Nazrin, N-A-Z-R-I-N. S-R-I-N. And S-R-I-N. Yeah. Nice kind of a thing. I mean, it's like Hawaiian florals, meats, engineers. Functionals. It's just safety levels. It's going to go in my binder of what I wore. So I do not repeat it. And at Christmas, do we get to review the binder? Yes, and pick our favorites. Mm-hmm. Well, there's a fake fire playing on them like a, like a memories. But it's just your outfits. Nobody notices our cares. Meanwhile, I am 80% sure that while this is not the exact same shirt, it's the second version of this shirt that I wore to record many shows. I'm pretty sure it's the same one. It's the same one. Don't be like me. It's really fucking hard up here. I can't. Like constantly be. I've heard. But, you know, I couldn't, if I tried, I really couldn't. The outfit thing, when I was in high school, mattered a lot to me. Yeah. I broke my own brain with the body over consciousness. It was tough. There was a spree, full suit. I wore once that it wakes me up in the middle of the night with how it was, and I thought it was like the height of style. I have to see it. I think I was just too far ahead. Was it? Yeah, because everyone wears athletes now. Was it like a sweatsuit? No. How was it? It was like a little business suit, but it was white children in business suits. Children. But it was the 80s so that it was kind of poochie pleated in the pants. Oh, just like unflattering. And insanely long in the jacket blazer. And it was. Plates are on children. It's so good. It was white. It was like 16. Okay. White with geometric patterns that were pastel. So like a little turquoise triangle and a little orange square all over it. You got to find this. Fan cult or? What's the nurse's? Who had this? Please find out. Please find out. Please find out. It's free business suit. Yes. Shoulder pad. It was a time and I've served my time. Yeah. And I'm. You don't need to do anything. Fading into the Gen X background. Congratulations. Thank you. It looks really nice. It looks not stressful and not pointless and tedious. I mean, actually, no. It's fun. I like dressing up and wearing clothes. It's your thing. It's cute outfit. I would say it's your true passion. I do love it. It does change my personality and change my like. What's the word? aura? Yeah. Do I feel that day? Completely. Sit up a little straighter. You get to test out all the different nights at your round table. Yeah. Now this is girly engineer Georgia. I love it. Gasoline station attendant. Gas station attendant. But make it tropical. But make it 95 degrees with 80% humidity. Right. Well, I have a corrections corner speaking of. That's a great transition. When I did this story about Paul Franz Ak, the baby who was kidnapped as a baby, yes, is how it goes. I forgot to mention that the knife actually did an episode on it. Oh. They did a two-part episode on it called Kidnapped at Burst, which of course they did it wonderfully highly recommend. Check that out. And it aired just this past May. Oh, great. Yeah. Okay. We have a podcast network. It's called exactly right media. And that's right. Here are some highlights. We cover Katy Perry's performance recently where she got stuck in a giant bottle, also a stolen Sinclair Dinosaur, and a French fry that caused a gas station crash. Oh, my God. Over on Brief Recess, Michael and Melissa discussed the ongoing Lindsey Clancy trial and what kind of lawyer a trans person should hire. Plus, Emmy award-winning actor, writer and comedian Brian Safey joins them in studio the vast to share behind-the-scenes stories from his off-broadway show Are you mad at me? So brilliant. Safey so much. Are you following the Lindsey Clancy trial? I only just heard about it, like, just learned about it a couple days ago. So I'm like trying to catch up. It's that kind of thing where people are already being like, this is wrong in that, like, people are already angry and accusing. So I'm like trying to follow and get the story before I get the opinion. And every day something new, some little detail comes out that is interesting, or curious, or suspicious. Right. Also, just on the Brief Recess thing, Michael just announced yesterday. He is one of the cast members of the new season of Traders. Unreal. It is. He's gonna be so good. I hope he's a Trader. I mean, I'm so excited. That man is so delightful. He's everything. So go listen to Brief Recess, and he will tell you all about it. Over on to Scraceland, Jake tells the story of The Smashing Pumpkins, your favorite band, Georgia, from a drug-related death to competing band narratives. This episode explores the strange legacy of Billy Corgan and Company. They are messy notoriously. It's gonna be really interesting. He always, but it's like he used to fight with Courtney Love, and there was just always something going on. Totally. And then finally, on "I Said No Gifts," Bridger keeps his cool when Hayden Johnson shows up with a gift. Then the two discuss cruise ships, Eagle Scouts, and Grave Robbing. Just like us. I'm Nancy Glass, host of the "Birden of Guild" season three podcast. It started more than seven years ago, when Cindy and Kenny were two 40-somethings who had just gotten engaged. Days later, they walked into a scorched-earth war they never saw coming. Turn your hands on your back. The cops gave it to my house and threw me in jail. And to Cindy's surprise, her fiance Kenny was charged with abusing one of her children. I'd never once doubted Kenny, and I always doubted the accusation. On season three of "Birden of Guild," you'll hear a story about the lengths someone will go to in order to get what they want. This case has got to be one of the most despicable. Listen to season three of "Birden of Guild" on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcast, or wherever you get your podcasts. All right, you go first. Right. I'm very excited to tell you the story today because it is classic true crime. And there's, to me, an infamous forensic files episode about it, which is when Marin and Molly pitched it, I was like, "Oh my God, I know exactly what you're talking about." Which one? It's one of them. Okay, but just a warning to the listeners, this case involves not only sexual assault, but child sexual abuse. So please take care when you're listening to this, and please take care of who's listening to this. You, of course, may have seen this already on forensic files. In that episode, they only refer to this victim by her first name, which is Candy, so that's what I'm going to do, too. So this story takes place in the early 90s in a rural Canadian town in southeastern Saskatchewan called Kippling. It's a little quiet town. There's more livestock than people, it's that kind of place, and it's Halloween of 1993. A 23-year-old woman named Candy is working her shift at a local gas station, and if she's going about her day, it's business as usual, until her ex-boyfriend stops by. the two get. into an argument and it escalates to the point where her ex drives out of the parking lot and she runs after his truck and kicks it and puts a dent in it. So it's a bad fight. We don't know what it was about. But Candie's really upset. She wants to go talk to her best friend about it who works over at Kipling's Hospital. So she leaves the gas station. She drives over there. But when she gets there, she's told her friend isn't working that night. Candie is so visibly upset that the nurse she talks to suggests that she talked to a doctor. So this is a small town. So small, there's two practicing doctors in the town. And Candie knows the one that's working that night. It's 32-year-old John Schneeberger who the locals affectionately refer to as Dr. John. So nine months prior, he delivered Candie's baby. So she trusts him completely. So when he says he's going to give her something to calm her nerves, you know, sounds great to her. He leaves the room. He comes back in with a long needle. Candie is like, she assumed it would be some pills and not a shot. But she's not really concerned about it until he gives her the medication. She's immediately overcome with severe dizziness to the point that the doctor has to help her walk from the chair she's sitting in over to the exam table. When she gets there, she just falls face first onto it. She is, she will later say, quote, I had no control over my muscles. It's like all my muscles left. And I was just this piece of jelly falling over. I tried to scream, but nothing would come out, but a croaking voice that a frog would make. End quote. She comes two hours later, knowing something is deeply wrong. This is Candie's story of what happened to her that day and her hard fought battle for justice against the doctor she trusted with her life. The main sources used for this story are archival articles from several Canadian newspapers and the forensic files episode that's mentioned above. I won't say the title right now. The rest of the sources are in the show notes. I don't know which one you're talking about right after that. I don't or you do. But I want to say, is it the one that this? But I don't want to spoil it if it is. Do you want to do it just to get it off your chest? Is it the one where he uses his blood? Yes. Oh my god, this one is like, I remember it perfectly. That's why, yeah. It's one of the ones where as a teen watching forensic files, your mind goes, I didn't understand people could or would do things like that. Totally. That is so far beyond decent normal people. Here we go. So for everybody that's like, we don't know what forensic files is. Good. Grow up. So it's Halloween night in 1993. Candie wakes up in the same exam room. But now she's alone and she has still slumped over the examination table. She immediately suspects that she has been sexually assaulted from behind. So it's a position she was left in. Oh my god. On top of being drugged and disoriented, she never saw her attacker's face. She explains it on forensic files this way. Quote. When a dentist freezes your gums and he's pulling your tooth out, you can't feel the pain from the tooth. But what you can feel is the pressure of the tooth moving back and forth. That's the only way I can describe it. Oh god. Now, as I was told a few hours later, as she gets ready to leave the hospital, she sees Dr. John. And she asks him, quote, what the hell was that drug you gave me last night? It turns out it was Versed, which is a fast-acting drug that's known to cause short term amnesia. And it's used in clinical settings for severe anxiety or to relax patients before operations. It's very common to get a dose of Versed. And that's that kind of like when you're in the hallway. Yeah. Just chill and wait and then you don't care. Let's start with something a little lower, can we? Yeah. So given how upset Candy had been the night before, it's not strange that the doctor would give her Versed. That, in and of itself, is not the craziest thing in the world. Well, it's very strong. But it's Dr. John's response to this question that she raises that is a red flag. And that is, quote, why did it give you wild dreams? Immediate fury. So he starts talking about the hospital's quote, wanderers or the elderly patients with cognitive issues who get out of their beds and wander the hospital at night. Dude. As he's explaining this, everything is starting to click into place for Candy. She realizes she is standing face-to-face with her rapist. So later say, quote, "I knew that I was going to have a hell of a fight on my hands because he's already covering up." Fuck. I mean, he's just pulling in these, could have been this. Yeah. Could have been this, look at all of these variables. Which is so incredible that Candy was still like, nope, I know. Because there's so many, you're taught to gaslight yourself to be like, that must be what it is. You know, I can't argue with this person. Yes. Maybe they're right. Like a lot of women. That's what we do. But in doing it sometimes, it's like we really take apart logic. Because it's like the last person she saw with a big needle full of medicine, the idea that she's putting two and two together. Right. It's not only not crazy, but then he immediately is like giving her that like, what? Why? What's the problem? We know that personality has seen it before. But of course, that's meaningless. This is one woman's opinion. Yeah. So she leaves the hospital and she drives to a different town to go to a clinic somewhere else, not in her town, and gets a rape kit done, so that she can quote, find out if this really did happen or am I going nuts. And how old is she? She's in her mid-twenties. Okay. That's so brave. She's really young. Candy explains to the person taking her report that she has not been sexually active for several weeks, yet the vaginal swab they collect from her tests positive for semen and also her genes and underwear do. So with that evidence in hand, she goes to the authorities to formally accuse Dr. Schneeberger of rape. A police investigation is opened and soon word begins to spread through the town of Kipling. It will surprise no one that many people do not believe candy, just immediately on hearing this, just it's totally impossible. There's no way. Something she's simply mistaken about her attacker's identity, but others think she's targeting Dr. John either because she's obsessed with him and she's getting a revenge because he doesn't feel the same way, or they're secretly involved. She's trying to extort money from him. It's all gossip and the usual, but it's all on her. And Dr. John is a trusted physician who despite only being in his late 20s when he moved to town from South Africa in 1987 to open his practice, and in a six-year sense, he's proved to be very competent doctor that this town has embraced. So he was kind of an outsider and he was young and then he proved himself and everyone's like, "We love him. He's great." An ambulance driver will tell a local paper that, quote, "I would estimate that at least 25 heart patients are alive today because of Dr. John." You can still be a fucking predator. That's right. Doesn't matter. Only good things you've done. My grandmother will roll over grave, but it's like, and let me introduce you to the Catholic Church. People doing all the things that are right by the book. Right. Right, sending it up to the Lord. Yeah. I mean, let's not, let's not anymore. And we don't. And we won't. Oh my God, I'm in so much trouble. My father would. Are you wrong? I'm in no way wrong. And also, my mother would be like, "That's right." Exactly. Also, Dr. John has a picture perfect home life. After he moved to Canada, he fell in love with a woman who is a single mother of two daughters. Her name is Lisa. And John and Lisa got married. Then they welcomed two of their own children to the family. Lisa will later tell the Globe and Mail newspaper that, quote, "Living in a small place like Kipling, not a day went by when people didn't stop me in the street and say, 'Oh, you're so lucky to be married to such a wonderful man.'" So it's the world of, you know, the whole town loves this woman. Yes. So even though there's a ton of goodwill towards Dr. John, after candy comes forward, he is eager to clear his name. So he cooperates with investigators. And he points out that verse said can mess with the patient's memory and perception and can even cause what he calls, quote, "erotic hallucinations." Now, it turns out sexual hallucinations are a side effect of the drug, but rare. The doctor also volunteers to provide a blood sample so investigators can test his DNA against the DNA extracted from those samples collected in candy's rape kit. Right. And when analysts compare the two, they determine that the blood sample and the semen sample did not come from the same person. Right. But candy knows she's right. That she still is like, no, I'm right. The blood sample shows it's not a match. And she still insists. She's like, yeah, it's so brave. Yes, it's the kind of knowing where it's like, a lot of things in life are like this. They won't believe you're, they won't be behind you. You just gotta do it and go through it. Yeah. And then at the other side, people will be like, I didn't know and you know. Do it anyway. Whatever, you gotta do it anyway. This woman is so cool. I mean, yeah, yeah. Watch the forensic files if you haven't seen it. She's about us. So she wonders maybe if there's an issue with his blood sample or maybe that something happened during the draw to compromise it. And this is the early 90s. Yeah. It's so early with all this stuff that like, it became this like, well, this is the defining, you know, this will get the verdict one way or the other. Right. But at this point, it was like early, it was before you could identify people through DNA. It was simply matching. So you just had to match DNA to DNA. Right. The person's interest, they had to have their sample to compare it to the sample they have. Right. That's the only way they could use DNA. Right. So the doctor actually volunteers to give another sample because he's such a great man in the community. Right. For this one, the police officers supervise a registered nurse as she injects a needle into the doctor's arm. As soon as she fills a vial with blood, that vial is sealed and taken directly to a forensic lab for testing. And once again, that DNA comes back and it does not match. I'm Nancy Glass, host of the "Birden of Guild" season 3 podcast. It started more than seven years ago when Cindy and Kenny were two 40-somethings who had just gotten engaged. Days later, they walked into a scorched earth war they never saw coming. To Cindy's surprise, her fiance Kenny was charged with abusing one of her children. On season 3 of "Birden of Guild," you'll hear a story about the lengths someone will go to in order to get what they want. Listen to season 3 of "Birden of Guild" on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Betrayal Weekly is back, with brand new stories. From threatening text messages disturbing a small Midwestern town, "It was from an unknown number. Who else is getting these messages? Why did it start with us?" To long cons and stolen identities. "Who lies about being this sick? This was the last time I ever believed in the word she said." New voices, each with the courage to tell their own story. He said, "I have been kidnapped." "Okay. Just try not to know more." He was essentially on the run. Every family has secrets. The rug had been pulled from underneath me. "Oh my God. It was right in front of my face and I didn't even see it." Listen to Petrayal Weekly on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. It's Chelsea Handler from Dear Chelsea. This season we've got some awesome guests ready to dull out advice, guests like Tiffany Haddish. Kind of slide into people's DMs. "I like Bumble. Also, girl, farmers only die kind." "Like, estate sales, funerals, auctions are usually good. There's a lot of good men there, grocery stores near gyms." Darcy Carden. "I remember being like, 'I know this is good advice, but I really don't want to do that.' So you didn't take her advice?" "I didn't take her advice." "Are you still friends with that woman?" "No." "She actually was kind of toxic." Nailed to grass, Tyson. "I spent my whole life looking up. I was a geek kid. I had a telescope at age 12. And so. " "So you didn't have sex for a long time?" "Sharyo Terry. Were you a soap opera person?" "Young and restless." "Okay, well, first of all, you should know it's the young and the restless. I can't even believe you're mispronouncing it, I don't know." "Some of us abbreviated it because we've been so weird to meet you." "TS Madison." "Are you into Polly?" "No." "No, I don't think so." "No. I could have told you. "No, I'm not." "Girl, you're just into Polly." "Just based on what she's wearing and the way her hair is styled. She was not in the Polly." "You're a sharp Polly." "On a Ferris, Dave Franco, Madeline Klein, Hannah Gadsby, Adam Scott. Long to Sykes, and more. Listen to Dear Chelsea on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts." So it's important to note that throughout all of this, Dr. John's wife, Lisa, is standing by him, and she believes in her husband's innocence, which could not have been easy in that tiny town, because there's nothing people love more than a nice hard turn of, you know, like, "You were the one I was jealous of and now look what happened to you." "Yeah." And blood test result, Dr. John Schneeberger is cleared as a suspect, finally. But there's one inconvenient fact that remains, and prosecutor Dean Sinclair will put this way. He says, quote, "Versead can account for all sorts of hallucinations possibly, but it can't produce semen." "Right." And according to Candy, the last time she had intercourse was weeks before the incident. "Yeah." Okay. So meanwhile, rumors are flying around kippling about Candy, and they're so bad, there's so many, they're so loud that she actually has to leave town. But she has no intention of giving up, because despite these test results, she absolutely knows who her rapist is. So then in the face of all of this, the police investigation goes cold, because it's like we don't have the evidence, we've tested it, that's now the evidence. But Candy is ready. She hires a private investigator to take over. This PI basically knows that he needs to get a DNA sample. So he breaks into Dr. John's car, illegal, right, right off the bat coming in hot, and also now the thing that you're gonna get is inadmissible and court. But he wants to find some of the doctor's DNA, he sees a few strands of hair on the headrest, but there's no root attached, and that's where the DNA is in hair strands, so you have to have those root bulbs. But then he sees a tube of chapstick and grabs it. He takes it to a private forensics lab, where technicians successfully extract DNA from it. And when they compare the chapstick sample to this even sample from Candy's rape kit, it's a match. It's so crazy that they continued on this trajectory of, it doesn't matter, it's him, because I feel like so many people would be like, he's clearly not, especially even her, who in her mind knows it, would gaslight herself into thinking, I am imagining things. But haven't you ever had a moment with a person where it's just like, you know they're fucking with you. It's the gleam in the eye of like, what did you have a weird dream, where it's like, it's a recognizable like personality type, and it isn't. And I think those types of people get off on the fact that it's like, only you and I know what I'm doing. Right. I never said that. Or you're remembering it wrong. Yeah. And she's, I think maybe, isn't the kind of person that does doubt herself. She's like, go fuck yourself. Okay. So her quote is, I knew it all along. It wasn't a shock that something was going to match, but it was a relief. So it's a win, but of course, bittersweet, because it's inadmissible evidence. But the information does raise new suspicions around the doctor, and it becomes the basis for the civil suit that candy files against him. She takes him to court in 1996, three years after her alleged assault. And she's still only in her mid 20s around the same time the investigation into that rape, which went cold kicks back into gear. And Dr. John is once again asked to provide a new blood sample. This time the draw takes place at the police department and it's being filmed as they draw it. And so this footage is in the forensic files. And do you remember his beautiful butter yellow sweater and his big 90s glasses that he's wearing? I don't know that you say so. Yeah. He's conducting the draw, her name's Jean Roni. And she explains to the doctor that since she only needs a small amount of blood from him today, she's just going to prick his fingertip for the blood. And he says, oh, no, sorry, I have a disease that causes me to bruise very badly on my hands. So I would rather have you draw the blood from right here in this arm. Yeah. And there's no rules or regulations about where the blood has to be drawn from. So she just takes him at his word. So I know what's coming, if we don't know what's coming, it's gross, just FYI, it's like. And she insert the needle into his, yeah, oh, sorry, I should have given some sort of people have serious needle issues. Needle and blood issues. Yeah. Hopefully since this is a entirely blood based story, I feel like up until now, it's what he does. Yeah. That is so fucked up. What's coming? Okay, get ready, get ready. And get out of the room if you can't handle it. So, but don't turn it off. We need the, yeah, yeah, just turn the volume down and watch something else. We need the strings. We don't need anyone. So Jean turns his form over looking for a suitable vein. And as she does, she notices something. She'll later say, quote, the vein was larger or appeared much larger than I would have expected. I thought it was a little unusual. Okay. And quote, even weirder than that, when she injects the needle into that vein that she finds, no blood comes out. She pulls it back out. She tries again in her different spot, still no blood into a vein. On the third try, she finally manages to draw a little bit of blood, but it looks off. In the footed tail vein, sticking out of his arm. In the footage taken to the procedure that day, with Dr. John out of frame, so presumably out of the room. That's what it looks like is that it's after the procedure. You can hear Jean say, quote, it's a little strange. The blood doesn't really look fresh. I don't know. Yeah. The blood doesn't look fresh. Fresh is like probably bright red, right? And it's darker. And it's darker. Yeah, or darker. It's either darker or lighter or thinner or, I mean, they can tell the difference between blood. Yeah, they can tell that. They must. They're duck. Well, it makes me think. Making a murderer, they found the blood on the steering wheel that had clearly already been exposed to air instead of coming straight from something, something. Right. It wasn't fresh blood. And they could tell. Right. They know all these things. They know things. Doctors and scientists. Okay. So this blood sample is immediately sent to a lab for processing. An analyst determined that this blood is too degraded to be analyzed by DNA. So now the police are forced to go back to candy and tell her they can't use the sample that he has provided because it's too degraded. And of course, candy is furious. This is a huge. That's not a fucking problem. Go back and get more motherfuckers. I know. I think it was like the one shot deal of like, oh, sorry, if you can't use whatever. So it's a huge blow to her civil case and to the newly resurrected criminal case for this rape and both of them then stall out because that was like their chance. But the combination of the odd degraded blood sample and the chapstick for the DNA from Dr. John's car has finally made it into the awareness of the police and they have become very suspicious of him, but they don't have any hard evidence to justify an arrest until April. Of 1997, more than four years since Candie's alleged assault and just when it's beginning to seem hopeless for her, there's a break in the case. And it's a terrible one that comes from Dr. John's own family. His 15-year-old stepdaughter finally confides to her mother that Dr. John has been sexually assaulting her since 1994 when she was 12 years old. - Oh my God. - She accounts how he would come into her bedroom at night, give her an injection that would incapacitate her and then rape her. - Holy shit. - It's horrific and devastating news, especially considering how Lisa stood by her husband in the wake of another woman's rape accusations. So she immediately goes into her husband's home office and starts looking around and she finds a box filled with condoms, needles, and drugs, including for said. And suddenly the murky picture of who her husband is now comes into sharp focus. The allegations are true. Lisa will tell a journalist quote, "I loved that man. He was my soulmate, my best friend. We were going to grow old together. I felt sick. I still blame myself. Maybe if I had believed Candie none of this would have happened to my daughter." - Oh, guilt. - That's the saddest sentence. - Yeah. - It's so horrible. It's so unfair. - This is one destructive man's actions. He's lying and psychopathic and it's always the woman who pay the price. So Lisa goes to the police and tells them what her incredibly brave daughter told her and Dr. Schneeberger is finally arrested. And now he has to take yet another DNA test. But this time the blood is drawn from his finger. They also take a sample of his hair, root bulb and all, and they swab the inside of his mouth. And when each sample is tested, they all match the sample from Candie's rape kit. No big reveal here, just finally the justice. When Candie learns about Lisa's daughter's allegations against John, she says, quote, "I screamed, I bawled, I was pretty disgusted." Because all of these years I'm fighting to get the truth out, but also to make sure it didn't happen to anybody else. So authorities still can't figure out how Dr. John managed to full multiple DNA tests over the years during draws that were monitored by police and overseen by skilled technicians and nurses. And she even said it doesn't look right. And they didn't follow through with. Right because what could that be? Your vein doesn't look right. It's such a crazy like thing. Well, so it takes until November, 1999 for John to confess. And it happens at his trial. We are on the stand. He admits that he surgically inserted what's called a pen rose drain under the skin of his left arm. All you people who don't know, like us, it's a routine plastic medical drain that's inserted, post-op, to prevent fluid from building up near a healing incision. So he stole blood from one of his unsuspecting patients. And then he filled the drain with it and surgically implanted it near the real veins in the crook of his arm. Oh, God. This is the arms diabolical, just insane. To think like, you know, I'm going to get out of this awful thing that I did, that's all my fault. I'm going to do the most diabolically insanely evil thing. Well, and my thing is how many other patients did he do it to? Totally. How many other women did he do it to that just didn't know? And like that he clearly, this was like, well, this is what I'm doing. So I better make a plan to get out of it. Totally. So this would be the arm, obviously. He'd offered to the medical professionals who drew his blood, who would never think twice about why it would be one arm over the other. Also, this is why the sample was so degraded in 1996. It was genuinely old, stale blood that it had been sitting in his arms. He just fucking put this thing in there and left it in there. Oh, my God. There's my innocence draw a depravity. Yeah, he was going to do it again. I'm not going to come back because I'm fucking guilty. So insanely enough, despite this admission, Dr. Schneeberger maintains his innocence. In fact, he offers that maybe Kandy broke into his home, stole a used condom, and used it to frame him. That's not how Samin works. Well, also it's for what? What did she get? Totally. He defends the implanted tube of blood by claiming he was just trying to protect himself against her false allegations. No, bro. You went too far. But in the end, Dr. John and his lawyers are no match for Kandy. She will later say, on this episode of Friends Like Files, quote, I was a bulldog on the stand. I kicked his lawyer's ass. And he's supposed to be the best lawyer in Southern Saskatchewan. Best offense lawyer. I showed him who's boss. Yeah, you did. And quote. I mean, like, these are the quotes you want to be reading in a story like this. She is so legendary. So it's November of 1999, and this trial lasts three weeks. And at the end, Dr. John Schneeberger is found guilty on multiple charges, including sexual assault, administering a stupefying drug and obstructing justice. He sentenced to six years in prison and he stripped of his medical license. Thank God. This has all taken seven long years, but Kandy has finally won. Can we just talk about that his sentence is shorter than how long it took to get justice? Well, I know, I know. And then late 2003, after serving four years of his sentence, he is granted parole and release from prison. Because it's just rape, not long after that, it is discovered that Dr. Schneeberger, or sorry, just regular old John Schneeberger, has failed to disclose being investigated for sexual assault during his lengthy naturalization process. So his Canadian citizenship is deemed unlawfully obtained and it is revoked. He's deported back to South Africa. And from what we know, he's still there to this day, he would be in his late 60s. In Canada, Kandy has to contend with the trauma of sexual assault in both the system and her community failing her. But she never backs down. She develops a film project called Iacuse, based on her experiences. And it premieres on Canadian television right around the time the John Schneeberger is released from prison in 2003. Wow. And she says she hopes that movie will quote, "Inspire other survivors to come forward and face their accusers regardless of their apparent standing in the community." Amazing. And that's the story of Kandy's on masking of the rapist Dr. John Schneeberger. Wow. Kandy. Oh shoot, we have pictures. Let's see. There's that yellow sweater. Yes. And there's Jean going into the arm that he suggested. Look at him. He's like, it's just so evil. And also just so bizarre. It's that kind of thing where it's like, it's so out of the realm of any possibility you're ever having happened before. Where it's like, I suspect the vein in your arm. Totally. This Ned Flanders looking mother fucker. I don't. He seems, you know? Yeah, those are the ones. Totally. Keep your eye peeled. Wow. Great job. Thank you. I feel like that's just been on the to-do list for this podcast for 10 years. I couldn't believe when they pitched it. I was like, wait, I love that one. Yeah. I don't know. I feel like this podcast is a little bit like, literally just true crime TV show retail. And that's how I've always treated it. 'Cause it's like, this is where I got all of this from. Right. I can remember seeing this the first time and just be like, I'm sorry, what? Well, we wouldn't be where we are without like forensic vials and unsolved mysteries and cold case files. America's most wanted as a fucking eight-year-old, just being like, I'm gonna catch that guy for sure. I believe it to me. Give me that phone number again, 'cause I've got this. Can I get it one more time? By the end of the show? What's the reward? Maybe you can help solve a mystery. I mean, it's a strange life. It truly is. Yeah. Turn around and place your hands behind your back. The cops give it to my house and threw me in the jail. And to Cindy's surprise, her fiance, Kenny, was charged with abusing one of her children. I'd never once doubted Kenny. And I always doubted the accusation. Listen to season three of "Birden of Guild" on the "I Heart" radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Betrayal Weekly is back with brand new stories from threatening text messages disturbing a small Midwestern town. It was from an unknown number. Why did it start with us to long gone? and stolen identities. Who lies about being this sick? This was the last time I ever believed the word she said. New voices, each with the courage to tell their own story. He said, "I have been kidnapped." Okay, just try not to know more. He was essentially on the run. Oh, my God. It was right in front of my face and I didn't even see it. Listen to Petrail Weekly on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcast, or wherever you get your podcasts. This season, we've got some awesome guests ready to dole out advice. Guests like Tiffany Haddish. I like Bumble. Also, girl, farmers only die kind. At states, sales, funerals, auctions are usually good. There's a lot of good men there, grocery stores near gyms. Darcy Cardin. I remember being like, "I know this is good advice, but I really don't want to do that." So you didn't take her advice? I didn't take her advice. Are you still friends with that woman? No. She actually was kind of toxic. Neil DeGrasse Tyson. I spent my whole life looking up. I was a geek kid. So you didn't have sex for a long time? Yeah! Yeah! Sherri O'Terry. Were you a soap opera person? Young and restless. Okay. Well, first of all, you should know it's the young and the restless. I can't even believe you're mispronouncing the title. Well, some of us abbreviated it because we've been so weird to meet you. T.S. Madison. Are you into Polly? No. No, I don't think so. No. No. I'm not. Girl, why are you just into Polly? Just based on what she's wearing and the way her hair is styled. She was not into Polly. Okay. On a Ferris, Dave Franco, Madeline Klein, Hannah Gadsby, Adam Scott, Wanda Sykes, and more. Listen to Dear Chelsea on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcast, or wherever you get your podcasts. All right. Well, I have one that's not at all anything like what you just said. Well, I'm leaving. I love when my homework is done and then you have to do your homework. Mine's easier than yours, my homework. Okay, good. And it's short because it takes place a long, fucking time ago. Mm. In 1814. My favorite. Your favorite. It's a financial hoax. Oh. It scandalized the London Stock Market. And it led to an early instance of government regulation in the world of finance. Your favorite world. I mean, I live there. It's natural to me. Your vacation there. Your vacation home. I've all these friends and family there in the world of finance. This is the story of the Napoleonic hoax. Sometimes known as the great stock market fraud of 1814. Hell yeah. You know, everything about this. You wrote your dissertation on it. Okay. The main source of the story is a book called Napoleon is Dead with an exclamation mark by Richard Dale and the rest of the sources are in the show notes. Here we go. What? You're taking notes? Are you taking notes? I'm going to take a little nap. Just out of nowhere. Something you're taking notes. Yep. What are you writing? B minus. B minus. That's really good. Make that into a little plus and take it home. And there you go, Mom. We aren't Dover, England. It's famous for its cliffs. They're white. Cliffs of Dover. Yep. They're made of white chalk that plunge into the straight of Dover. It's the narrowest part of the English channel between England and France. These days around Dover is where you can get on a ferry that will take you to Colet, France. And it's between these two points that the Euro Star train runs through the channel tunnel. The channel. We love it. But this story takes place long before the channel. I just really wanted us to yell "channel" together. And I did it. And we did it. Good night. Thank you for listening. Good night. In 1814, it's around 1 a.m. on the morning of Monday, February 21st. A man is seen wandering the seaside front street in Dover. In London, the stock market will open in nine hours, which is just about as much time as it'll take you to get to the capital from Dover in a horse-drawn carriage. If you change horses frequently, I didn't know that was a thing. Fresh horses, that's what it's all about. Horse to horse to horse. That's right. I didn't realize. You know, on some old, tired horse. No, horses like, can I high-five someone? Please. High-five another horse. And please, this is taking forever. This mysterious man is tall and wearing a long-grey coat and what looks like a red military uniform. Pulldark. What? That's just a British show. Oh, but a guy. Oh, got it. It's a long-grey coat. Pulldark. Okay, I'll watch it. We need to show. He bangs on the door of the ship in, but gets impatient and then starts banging on the door of the pub next door, which is called the packet boat. Probably means something. I didn't look it up. The owners of both establishments come to the door on the same time. The owners of both establishments come to the door and everyone moved inside the ship in to have a conversation with this mysterious man. The man, who doesn't introduce himself, says, quote, "I have this last hour been landed on a beach from France after traveling for two nights, and I'm the bearer of dispatches that are the most important to be brought to England these past 20 years. The man, who doesn't introduce himself, says quote, "I have this last hour been landed on a beach from France after traveling for two nights, and I'm the bearer of dispatches that are the most important to be brought to England these past 20 years. The owner of both establishments come to the door and everyone moved inside the ship in to have a conversation with the bearer of dispatches that are the most important to be brought to England these past 20 years. I must have horses, and in the meantime, I would be obliged if you would bring me a pen and paper so I can inform the authorities of what has passed. The pub and owner and the keeper are like, OK, what the fuck's going on? This never happens, and paraphrasing, and the officer responds with quote, "Do not pestle me with questions." You always say in these scams, they make you hurry. There's no time to think. It's the fake authority, a hurry, and the importance. You don't know what's going on, but you have to do because it's so important. At this point, the other guests at the end have heard the ruckus and come downstairs, and the mysterious stranger has introduced himself as Colonel Deburg, and at some point he gives an initial of First and Legislative R, but it's unclear if he ever gives a first name. Then he says quote, "I am the bearer of sensational and glorious news, the best that could possibly be wish, but I cannot say more." I must ask you to arrange with great urgency and express horse and writer to carry a message to the admiral at deal, as well as a carriage to take me to London for the present. I need pen, paper, and ink, and I would be obliged if you could also provide me some refreshment to sustain me." End quote. Well demanding for a stranger the middle of the night. And paper, food, drink. The colonel is given pen, paper, food and drink, and a bottle of sherry. Have you drank sherry in a real way? People do that, right? Just like a little thimbleful of sherry? I always imagine it must be good if people love it so much. I don't know. Listeners, let us know what the Sherry experience is all about. Is it really sweet? It's like cooking wine? I think it's cooking wine. And I've always seen it as like people taking a little nip of it in the kitchen. Right. It seems really piefalutin and classy. I mean, I guess we'll find out. Rich murdering us, please call in. So he writes a letter to a naval admiral posted nearby in the town of Deal, and he writes that he's been ordered to write to London with "dispatches of the happiest nature." And then he writes, quote, "My anxiety will not allow me to say more for your gratification than that the allies obtained a final victory." That bone apart was overtaken by a party of Sackin's Cossacks, who immediately slayed him and divided his body between them in code. But I can't say more. I can't say much except that here's exactly detail. So what he's saying here is that Napoleon has been killed by the Russians obviously, which means that the decades long Napoleonic wars are over. If you remember one thing about Napoleon, which I know you remember many. Short, in love, French. And also didn't die. And also died in exile. Yeah, exactly. He died in exile. So, and also if you know the Abelirics, you might remember that he was defeated at. Thank you, which has not happened yet. The Napoleonic Wars are a series of messy conflicts across Europe that had begun 11 years earlier. There's some scholars say that they are really just an extension of the 100-year wars between the British and French. And they just fucking hate each other. They've been warring it up for so long. Yeah, next door neighbors and everything. To keep things, right? No. Kind of. Across the street neighbors. Yeah. To keep things very short, different coalitions of countries team up with Britain to fight against France. And it's aggressive expansion under Napoleon. And no one seems to be quite able to beat Napoleon. So when Colonel Deburg shows up in Dover, presumably having sailed over from France saying that the war is over and Napoleon is dead, people are fucking stoked. Huge celebrations. The people at the ship in. We can imagine a shit ton of Sherry and party. Sherry's on me tonight, boys. Exactly. It's like if right now if we were, if someone said that. The Napoleonic Wars of America would finally end. Yeah, we'd all fucking celebrate. Yeah. I'd throw these in the air. I'm going to punch that TV right in. Run into the street. It's so much Sherry. The Sherry would be flowing. Oh, flowing. The streets. The Inky for Ask's one of his staff members to take that letter to the admiral and deal, which is about eight miles away, about a two hour ride on horseback. So once the carriage is ready, the Colonel begins his ride to London. So they have someone else go tell someone else. And then this guy gets a horse to London. Along the way, he stops at several other ends and pubs, changing horses. At least there's some animal awareness. Awareness in the story. Yeah. And saying he urgently needs to write a letter about some very good news. And by the time. he's gotten to one of the later ends on his route. The innkeeper asks, is it true? Like, it's already spread. And Colonel replies, quote, he is dead, end quote. So the innkeeper presses asking, who is dead? The Colonel says Napoleon. The innkeeper, he says, it's definitely true. So the Colonel gets to London around nine o'clock, an hour before the stock market opens in the morning. Have you had an overnight stock market? I'm like, I didn't get to sleep over once a year. And just get, like, food from 7/11 and stuff. On the floor of the stock market, everyone gets a-- Give me another coffee. Pillow case. Come on. Scary story. They just told their ticket up kind of, like, I'm tired. Whoever falls asleep first, I brush it all their money, exactly. OK, so the Colonel then asks to switch coaches, which rides, tries to do so as inconspicuously as possible, but he is seen by multiple people being dropped off at the House of a Member of Parliament, a man named Lord Thomas Cochran, a decorated formal naval admiral, known to be one of the more radical members of Parliament. So then, right when the market opens, people start trading on this good news and buying government bonds. And the first thing in the morning, they are trading at the same price they were on Saturday, but very quickly, the price begins to climb. People's speculations that the war has ended rises to a new level later that morning when an elaborate carriage is seen carrying two men, who seem to be wearing the regalia of French royalists officers, meaning officers from the bourbon dynasty, who the British sympathize with, and who would take power if Napoleon were unseated. So it's fucking happening. Everything's getting lined up to-- And people are like, the baker's out in the street. That's the bourbon royalty. Would you really know that? They take over. Exactly. Everyone knows. Also, everything was so slow back then. Somebody's like, oh my god, this thing's happening, and they have a letter, and they hand it to a guy, and the guy rides on a horse for eight days. And it goes somewhere else, and that's supposed to be like a phone call. Right. There's so much hang time to lie and do stuff. Totally. Before things can be confirmed or disproven. Truly, just the heyday of scams. Absolutely. And it's actually an early pump and dump scheme. Like the one Jordan Belford went to jail for, as chronicled by Wolf of Wall Street. Oh, yeah. Basically, his company sold penny stocks, spread false information about the companies that people were investing in to raise the prices, and then sold those penny stocks when they grew. Before people realized what was going on, it's happened recently. With several cryptocurrency pump and dump schemes as well. I know you fell for a lot of those. Listen, all my money's in crypto, so I need to take all your advice for Reddit, the podcasting 'til I'm 98. You know who has crypto investments, too. Jim, home, Jim. Your dad has crypto investments, how? I don't like my dad even. He's just like that. He always wants to know. On his own accord? Oh, yeah. Yeah, yeah. How are they doing? I think, okay. He argues, I'm always like, I don't know, dad. And he's like, what are you talking about? The one time I tried to do it on my own, I just bought a bunch of weed company stock and lost everything immediately. Like I just did, someone that I respected and liked, his podcast I listened to, his financial podcast I listened to, I was like, I'm telling you right now, this is gonna be the next like, you were a victim of his pump and dump. Hers, and oh, sexist of me. It is, and I'm not gonna say who it is, 'cause I, you kind of are. Who? Dr. Laura? Is it like who do you know? Dr. Laura Sleshender? Yeah. Does she give financial advice? Yeah, that sucked. I don't do it by myself anymore. Just high yield savings, everyone. Okay, so. That's not for, listen, if you're getting into some sort of world of gambling on your phone. Yeah, no, no. Stock trading on your phone. Any of those kinds of things, it's too easy. I don't even see. Like marijuana. I don't even smoke weed. It's not your thing. And I was like, yes, this is it. This is it. This is how I'm gonna get out of podcasting. And so it appears that these pump and dump schemes have been around for as long as there have been stock markets which trace their roots back to the early 1600s in Amsterdam. Oh, some fucking, high as fuck guy was like, you know what we should do with our money. Play with it. Bed on things. You know, it's a great way to keep the rich, rich, and the poor poor stock market. The Dutch stock exchange was founded to allow investors to participate in joint stock companies like the Dutch East India Company, which allowed individuals to buy stock in massive maritime trade expeditions, like many things in the finance world. It seems like there's a fine line between behavior that is expected, like, hyping up a product. You just bought being like, I love this blood dryer. Yeah, I love this blood dryer and behavior that is illegal, which is hyping up the product with false information with the attention to sell it off quickly. So. Blood dryer is making my hair longer. Right. And then. So you all should buy it sell. You can't do that. Literally me on TikTok every single day where I'm just like, well, then I guess I have to get it out. Oh, same. There's so many wonderful products that clearly if you were at the state fair in the exhibition hall, you'd be like, who would buy that? It's shit. You wouldn't bingo at a state fair. Right? For real. Damn. I love it all. I know. The Keto-accessible pump and dump is to sell off your own position before everyone gets wise to your tricks. Yep. So remember that. It would have been you were the one who told me to buy all the marijuana stocks. It was like just weirdly whispering in your air. And you're like, I don't know how I got this idea, but some chick on a podcast. Oh, shit. That was a lie. Every time this podcast ends, my finance podcast begins and I give the worst advice, I don't know what I'm talking about. Neither do I. And here's how quickly that had to turn around. It being obvious that it wasn't true is that suddenly people were like, gee, later in the day. This hasn't been in the news yet that Napoleon is dead. You know what I mean? Like, shit slow, but not that slow. So they get nervous that the British Secretary of State has not made a formal announcement. And by the end of the day, it becomes clear that there has been fraud. Like, you got to give it a couple of days so you can get the fuck out of town. That's what I mean. Just think of all the free meals and cherries and beers that he got along the way of delivering that news. Like he basically just, for sure, got it into town for free. And then. Yeah. The price of the government bonds is back where it started by the end of the day. The London stock market. What? That just, like, shit, shit. So like all your fucking money is gone. Yeah. I literally, I'm like, never put a dime of my money into this stock market. You can get me some bonds. You can get me this stuff that's guaranteed and other than that, no, thank you. Yeah. It's too scary. That's why I don't look at it and I let someone else do it for me. My cousin, smart. Yes. He knows. Exactly. So the London stock market has its own in-house investigating team. And they immediately go to work. The first thing is- Cast that right now. That's right. It is. Oh. It's got to be what's his face. The late Alan Rickman. Okay. But then also the other one. With the Cumberbottom. Benedict Cumberbottom. Yeah. Yeah. He's got to be in it. How about a nice Matthew McFadden from Succession and Pride and Prejudice? Always cast him. Yep. He can be the muscle in the back. I love it. The first thing that they figure out is that the carriage that had been seen supposedly carrying French royal officers can be traced back to The Rose Inn, which is an establishment a little outside of London. I looked it up. It looks like it's still there. And still serving horses. Of course it is. By now it's amazing. So they're like, Hey, that carriage is from you. And then they go there. And the innkeeper is like, Yeah, I rented it out to a man named Mr. Sandham, a liquor merchant who was having money problems. So the investigators quickly track that guy down. The whole thing falls apart very fast as well as four other men who had been involved in this side plot. So there's four other men immediately confessed to their part in the fraud, but they refuse to name any other names, even though it seems like they're clearly in cahoots with whoever has profited. That is a group of people, including Lord Cochran, the man whose house the colonel had gone to. The colonel is actually an adventurer. Hey, what a fucking cool career. Bring back that name. Name Charles Random Deburgner. Random. Random. Random. That fucking first name. No. Where did that go? That's his middle name. What if that's been us laying word this whole time and just came back recently? Random. Charles Random. He's throwing money everywhere. I love it. Who also recently had some financial difficulties. So these people who needed money, they all got together. Yeah. The investigators find that Lord Cochran and two other investors had invested heavily in government bonds. That's the thing is you can look up who invested heavily first. It's like not, it's not anonymous, but the book is really big and heavy. So it's going to take forever to get to that page. Totally. So they look that up and one of these investors is Cochran's uncle, a Scottish adventurer named James Andrew Cochran Johnston. Second adventurer? Yeah. We got adventurers. I guess they don't have a lot of money. So they just have to go do that adventure, the adventure of the stock market. Yeah. Who's known to be something of a swindler. The group had ultimately made a profit that it's confusing to lay out because so many people fucked around and found out, but in today's money, it'd be, do you want to guess? It's just out of the blue. How much money in today's money? It would be even though we don't know how much money was lost. Yeah. Or how much money they took. They made. How much their profit was. Okay. How much they made in one day from, I don't love the term pump and dump, but we'll use it. I don't like the term channel. So between pump and dump and channel, this whole story is a bit of a nut. No, no. They make $500,000, $14 million US dollars in today's money. In today's money. Yeah. So they definitely. It was worth it. The dump. Who's all over the channel. They channeled everywhere. They chugged everywhere. All over the channel. They were so stoked in that channel. Yeah. That's fucking crazy. Yeah. You'd wish one of them got away with it because like, that's just such a fun, you know. let's see. I don't remember. I don't know. This whole thing takes only about a week to unravel. It sounds like this swift and angry reaction by both investors who had been duped and by investigators come as something of a surprise to Cochrane and his co-conspirators. They thought they were having a good old fun, making some money, but actually fucking pissed everyone off. Yeah. Because imagine how stoked you'd be if you heard and then it turns out for a warrant that has gone on for years, decades, and years like hopefuls. Hey, come on, throw that confetti in the air. I left my husband because I thought finally that this is over and I don't shit. At the time there's basically no regulation of the stock market. It has only just put out its own internal rule book and so people trade on rumors all the time and so rumors all the time, but I think that this was just beyond. It was just too big to outrageous and ordinary investors were outraged because they already sensed that people in power, like Lord Cochrane, who was in parliament, had access to insider information that made them more able to get rich from investing. They already knew the rich get richer. It's so scam. Exactly. Members of parliament and members of Congress here in the US are still allowed to have interests in publicly traded companies and they raise eyebrows all the time when they make prudent investment moves around the time that they might be briefed on developments the general public does not yet know. That doesn't seem fucking right at all, but we don't question it. Well, there's entire accounts on TikTok where people just follow senators and governors investments and then just basically tell people they just moved all their money from here to here. It's crazy. It's just so fucked up. It's very, very bad and corrupt. But what Lord Cochrane and his co-conspirations did does seem to have crossed some imaginary rich person line. He goes to trial in June of 1814. He's found guilty. He's fined a thousand pounds. He's like, that's fine. I'm 14. I wrote 1399. You want to guess how much that is in today's money? A thousand pounds in 1814. I think in dollars not in pounds is that it's going to make it so sorry. A thousand dot yet to me. A thousand pounds in today's money. Are pounds dollars? A thousand pounds in today's money from then would be roughly $400,000. $77,000. Yeah, $77,000. I just read. $77,000. What did I say? $77,000? Thank you. I was just like, it could be me. I don't know. I don't know what's going on. I'm having a stroke. $77,000 is a lot of money. Totally. That's crazy. So that's how much he's buying. He's ordered to stand in the pillory in front of the stock market. They're saying, do you know what the pillory is? Yeah. It's like, I didn't know. Can you get your thing there? Yeah. Can people come up and spank your butt? You can't do anything about it. Yeah, it's things you put your head and arms into that you sometimes see as a photo op at like amusement parks or little towns that are really big engines. Yeah. Yeah. Lord Cochrane's uncle Andrew flees the country like a fucking smart person after this verdict. He ultimately dies in France because the Napoleonic Wars really do end about a year after all of this happens. Oh. Lord Cochrane protests his innocence for the rest of his life claiming that he had been set up. How? I don't know. Okay. Some historians will agree that based solely on the evidence presented at his trial, which spent a lot of time on whether the fake kernel had really been wearing red, because like, that's come. I'm inferring that it's a costume to say something's been happening, not just to say it's been happening. He should not have been convicted. Regardless, based on the evidence, which is mostly circumstantial, most people believe that he probably did participate. Yeah. Yeah. I mean, it is a great like kind of overarching excuse to be like, I was set up totally. We all were. Yeah. We all were. And yet that is the story of the Napoleonic hoax. Amazing. Yeah. A fun realm to go into. Totally. You know what it makes me think of is you like the guy from British Bake Off with the eyeliner? I think I like him. I don't know. Don't you like weirdos? Isn't that your thing? Yeah. Thank you. It is actually. No fielding from the mighty bouche. Oh, yeah, of course. He has a show called Dick Turpin. Uh-huh. And they're basically highway men from this era. No way. So the second you started talking, I was just watching Dick Turpin's characters as those people were doing stuff. And I was just like, you should try to watch that show. I'm gonna. He's very goofy. Funny. Okay. And he does. He likes to do like funny puns and people who are like, they're highway men and robbing people. But then they're like, that hurt my feeling. Right. What was that one with the castle? And it was the plague. And that was like the camera. And after that, we start that all the time. Well, it was just those couple episodes. We didn't get it. It wasn't our recurring show. Yeah. Well, it's going to come back. So we should put our money on it. Let's invest in what's your next episode. Let's go now. Look at the insiders. You know, we could go to Vegas and start betting on things that just happen. That's what a bunch of people are doing these days. You can go and like bet on baseball things, but it's like what shorts the fucking person's wearing in the dugout. Yeah. Nothing to do. Let's get in there. Let's just start slapping down 50s. Okay. Come on. Let's do another batch of hunking arrays brought to you by Hyundai. Thanks. I go first. This is from Amanda Woods on Instagram. I knocked almost $2,000 off my debt this month. Didn't say how she did it. Doesn't matter. Doesn't matter. None of our business. No shame in a paycheck. God, that's a lot of money. Yeah. Good job. Yeah. We've both been in debt. We know how you feel. I mean, I, I was debt. It was my whole life. Congratulations, Amanda. Be like Amanda and chip it away. Chip it away. Chip it away. Don't pay the minimum because then you're just stuck with it forever. Okay. This one's from hello Ashley over on Instagram and it says I'm driving solo cross country with my dogs to start a job in a town where I know nobody. It's so scary. That's someone who needs a serious hooray. Yeah. Because it's super brave. Yeah. It's a brand new cool fun start. Yeah. But also you'll still be there. So you're, you get to have your journey and your dogs are going to be there and your dogs will be there and then you can meet people at the dog park. That's right. Remember how weird dog people are. Okay. This one is from Erica CVA on Instagram. I just survived a week long vacation with my family. That's it. That's right. That sounds like and that's not a vacation. Yeah. That's not when you have to survive it. It's not a vacation. Well, I mean, it depends on the kind of family you have where it's like if you love to shout as a pastime and then you get all your family together, well then everybody's having a good time. That's right. Everyone's shouting. Everyone gets to do their thing. We'll go on your family vacation. Yeah. It's a lot of yelling. Okay. This is from full name Catherine Rudden and this is actually somebody who responded to our newsletter. God bless them. Walking down the hill to the local convenience store for a soda refill, I randomly found two dollars on the sidewalk and used it for the soda and a lot of ticket and then it says I didn't win but it was fun anticipation. Girl Mac has that you didn't spend anything. That's right. You had the afternoon buy you some fun. Yeah. Two dollars on the ground in this economy. When's the last time that's happened? When's the last time you found cash anywhere? Never. Even in your own house. No. Good job, Kat. We're very proud of you. Yeah. Keep those eyes peeled. Okay. This is from Tika. Rhymes with Becca. So Tika. Hi all. My array is at at 48. I started a new hobby. Quilting. Oh my god. So hard. I have a few good patient friends who are master quilters who gave me lessons, advice and encouragement. Five years later, I'm proud to say I'm a pretty good quilter. If you ever receive a homemade quilt from someone, please know that there is literal blood, sweat and tears on that thing. Um, grios. Man, DNA, DNA. Tika, I mean, Tika, Tika, please know it is a labor of love. And there's math, so much math. And I am a school librarian and not a math teacher for a reason. Well, why is Tika yelling at us about the fact that they decided to start quilting and has nothing to do with that? Have you ever been gifted a quilt? Yes. I had ants, my great ants, ant man and were real crafty. So there's a lot, there was quilts. There was crocheted blankets, crocheted slippers, the kind that would drive your feet crazy. Just crocheted everything. Crochet everything. I love that. I love that. I like that in our state sale and I find something crocheted because like someone person put a lot of effort into that. That's right. Watch hours and hours of the price is right. They made that thing for you. Like you don't put it in the landfill? No. Put it over your body no matter how much DNA is on it. From Taka and her friends. Well, thank you to Hyundai for presenting these honking arrays and thank you guys for writing them in. Please write them in more and we'll read them. That's right. And also stay sexy. Don't get murdered. Good bye. Elvis, do you want a cookie? This has been an exactly right production. Our managing producer is Molly Smith, our consulting producer is Kate Schellmbach. Our creative lead is Alison Agosti, our associate producer is Tessa Hughes and our editor is Aristotle Acevedo. This episode was mixed by Leonis Polacci, our researchers are Marin McLaughlin and Ali Elken. Email your hometowns to my favorite murder at gmail.com and follow the show on Instagram at my favorite murder. Listen to my favorite murder on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcast. Or watch new episodes every week on Netflix. Search for my favorite murder, add us to your list, and hit the double thumbs up button. Goodbye! Listen to Season 3, a burden of guilt on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcast. It's badness, hereditary. Listen to The Girlfriends Spotlight on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcast. In the middle of the night, Sasuke awoke in a haze. Her husband, Mike, was on his laptop, but was on his screen, would change Sasuke's life forever. I said I need you to tell me exactly what you're doing, and immediately the mask came off. You're supposed to be safe. That's your home. That's your husband. Listen to Petrile Season 5 on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.