#540 - We Were Nominated

Welcome back to the basement yard. How's it going? Good. Right. You better. Oh, what better? Did you answer for me? He said great. Oh, yeah, I guess I also said better than in a sensitive and good. All right, do start again. Start again. Take and go. How's it going, Frank? All right. Ant. Good. I don't even know. What are we doing? What's happened? All right, let me start it. We're done with the opening. Come on. You're meant to this. What's that happened, by the way? Uh, this is a minor league team. They're the hops. Oh, that makes sense. Yeah. Isn't that cool? It's kind of cool. I like that. Oh, they're so pumped right now. They're getting free plugs. Yeah. Well, how's your butcher going to feel about this because you love promoting that? You know what? Listen. I, I am, I wasn't the butcher shirt. Like, it was like a blow. It's balls out. I remember. Yeah. They were big, fat, ant-sized balls. No, not that big. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Nothing. Nothing. Um, it was, I mean, now is this, I wear that pretty much exclusively to the gym. Is that better or worse? You're putting balls on your back in public? So worse. Is it on the front of the back? It's on the back. So the front is the front of the ball. And he's just like, Oh, the back is his ass hole. And the back is his balls. Yeah. His ass and balls. Yeah, I'd say that's pretty bad. It feels like an indoor. It feels like a at home shirt. I feel like that's worse because I have young kids. So where am I going to wear this shirt if not at the, if I have a shirt that has balls on it, I'm wearing it somewhere. We have a different opinion. Have you ever had like a, I'll do you one better probably wouldn't wear that home either. Yeah. That's what I just said because I don't, so I pretty much don't wear it ever. Just on the show. Well, where else, I mean, if I'm going to express balls, no, I, you know, I said express, then I felt like what am I trying to express here? If I'm going to get a shirt that has balls on it, where else am I going to wear it? But this comedy podcast where the people wash. They also, they also don't see Frankie from the back too often on here. That is fair. Why'd you say it, so sexy? Yeah, that was, you don't see Frankie from the back. Oh, this is a guy who's, you're still, you're still in a heated rivalry. The way he said that, he's just like, who do you think he's got a better ass? Me or Frank? Come on now. Come on. Don't, don't, don't swing. Don't. It's probably Frankie. Okay. I'm, look, look, I'm just, I'll let you be your person, make your decisions. All right. Why are you saying probably stick to be a man? It's Frankie. Thank you. Fuck. But why though? Yeah, tell us why. Tell, tell me something negative about my ass. There's nothing negative about your ass. His ass just a little more volumptuous. Okay, volumptuous. It's making it up word. Yeah, volumptuous isn't a word, buddy. But what, how would you describe my ass and like, it'll give me like two adjectives. It's there. Yeah, yeah, get him. Get him. What the fuck? You heard that shit, right? That's crazy. He just body shamed his boss. It's there. You know, where else would it be? It can't be over there. It went out of me here. What happened to the respect that kids used to have for their employers? What happened back in your day, which I think you and I agree that was the greatest generation, which the second greatest, the greatest was World War II. Like what are we talking about? Which part of World War II generation of good people? They call themselves the greatest generation. Yeah, they were self-programmed. Yeah, into saying they were the greatest generation. Yeah, what? Cocky bitches. Yeah, it's kind of crazy. Just being like, well, that was the greatest generation. Was that after the depression? Yes, it was. I mean, it's easy when you do contrast like that. I mean, you can just look at pure numbers and see that like, I guess U.S. got involved in 41. If we start getting into this stuff, I think that was when Pearl Harbor was bombed. So 41. And then 45, it was over. So yeah, and then after that, boomers. That's the baby boomers. That's what our parents generation is because they came home from war and guess what they did? They fucked. God, after it like rabbits. Like absolute jack rabbits. I mean, like, frozen off in Holland or bang, bringing it back. I'm trying to capitalize on this audience. I can't. Clearly. You keep bringing it up. That's interesting. And then you're asking to rate your ass. This is a weekly still. Where do you think I measure? We're going to have to record that. Everyone take it easier, right? We're not talking about it. Yeah. By the way, I don't know if we, I don't know why I'm bringing this up now, but yesterday, I got the shit scared out of me because I was like in my living room and I live on a high floor, not a flex, but just reality for me. Definitely a flex, but also a flex. Giant. Like movie-style drone outside my window. Scare the fuck out of me. I mean, that's a legal brother. It wasn't like right outside my window. Like, it was kind of like, but it was mad big. I thought it was an animal. Or I thought alien little shit. I felt like you, like, you know, in Jersey, you remember, and you guys have all the drones or whatever? Oh, I didn't see any personally. Oh, really? No, I didn't see any, which it's so that was a year ago. And it feels like it was fucking decades ago. It does. But like, personally, I didn't see any. And you best believe that because I didn't see any, I said everyone was lying. Got it. You know, and not with these eyes. Didn't fucking that. Did you not get in your car? Drive around. So we did. Back in, I did. And she was just like, you know, like she, she, she, she, she subscribes a little more to, like, conspiracies and stuff like that. It's like a cloud. What is that? Yeah. Well, there was, no, there was one night where her and I drove around. And she was just like, there it is. Oh my God. You know, like, it was like, she was excited and they're like, Oh, no, like they're seeing. Yeah. But yeah, the drone scared the fuck out of me. Dude, that, that is like legitimately creepy because windows, brother. Yeah. I mean, it wasn't like, you don't have a terrace, right? No, that'd be so cool up there. It would be but so dangerous up there. Bro, it gets windy up there. I can hear the wind against my windows. I'm like, who the fuck is out on their terrace right now? Bro, you're, once you buy like a home on like flatland, 300 acres, dude, you're gonna be like, yo, this is so much sicker than living fucking 95 stories in the air. I do like it. I mean, I'm not on the 95 floor. That's a little crazy. 93rd, whatever. No. I'm not gonna say the number, but, um, uh, no, but it like scared me. Like it was probably like a good 200 yards away. So it wasn't like at my window. Was it like interacting with you? Like, were you like, no, it was like there. I think I took a video of it. So you can see how far away it was. But you saw it before you heard it. Like you saw it. I didn't hear it. You didn't hear it. Yeah. So look, you see the size of this thing? Like it was like a big one. Yo, like far away is that. Um, I zoomed. It was like there. So it was like kind of in front of the next building over. But I was like, what's going on? Yo, that's scary because like it was there for a while. What if you were naked? I don't care. I mean, if they were like spying on me. I mean, who's to say they weren't? Those drones have pretty good camera and zooming capabilities. You know, maybe they were just like, it's TMZ. They're after you. They, why are you talking about zoom? Well, you trying to disrespect me? I mean, I'm just saying, like sometimes you need a little help in order to see something from a distance. Like a, like a, like a, I mean, you know, like a telescope. The Hubble now we're getting even further. I mean, I'm not saying the Hubble telescope. You shut up over there. I spoke to him. First, my ass. Now I'm like, dick. You're, you're fucking, you're beating both those dreads today. Yeah. Sorry. Yeah. It, I think like the, you know, it would need just just just just to make the distinction. If they can't zoom in on you, then you're just white guy number 48 that they're spying on. But then once they zoom in, you know, as close as they could get and they go, that's Joe. Hey, buddy, I, to your face, dude. I've been, I've been double body shamed and we are nine minutes into an episode. Maybe eight minutes. Let me just be very clear about something shamed my body. I have not shaming you in any combat. I did, I did this like looking at your face. If you feel that me making that, what a weasel, your weasel and shaming your body. And maybe you have something to be ashamed of. Maybe you're projecting the shame that you have for your body upon me. He, he straight up shamed you. He's throwing you under the bus and he's weaseling. I don't want to be this guy, but you did just point at him. Thank you. Whatever. Run it up to you. How much dollars are we at? He's at 40 bucks. That's not bad. That's $40. I didn't have before. That's how that works. That's exactly. So, so you didn't call it because brother, I would have been on the phone with the cops. My call and care cops. What do you mean, Karen? You would call the cops? This kid's Karen. Oh, Karen. Oh, yeah, you are. Karen. Yes. Report. How the fuck are we getting to a place? You order food and fucking food all the way. How are we getting to a place in society? We're reporting a crime, put that fucking phone down. Put that phone down. There's a couple of kids outside. They're making a racket. Did you? No. That's a difference between, excuse me, police. Guess what? There's a drone at my window and I'm fucking a hundred million feet in the air. There's a difference. Reporting that doesn't make me a Karen. You're, you know what you're doing? You see what you're doing? Now you're, now you're, now you're ethically shaming me. He's body shaming you so you're ethically shaming me because I have standards. You're creating terms. Put the phone down. Police. Someone is violating the airspace. This is not allowed. And I heard a firework back there and maybe we should put some kids in jail. Bro, do you remember what happened in 2001? What are you referring to? We grew up in a time where it has been pushed upon us. We'll see something, say something. That communal conversation. Rotary in New York City has potentially prevented numerous attacks from happening We don't know we don't see the numbers, but I respect that seeing something saying something did something They were probably filming a movie or something so then you should get your paycheck I'm not in I mean if they were filming me maybe they hey, yeah, that's what I'm saying How do you know they weren't I guess I'll send them a season to this if I see the movie and I'm like hey That's my ding dong although I wasn't walking around my show what you're gonna split the profits with If it's a a movie from a Disney because you're in the back just fucking Dick in the wind in your apartment Is that how that works? You'll just send it like you get to split the profits like now you and Disney make 50% of this of this movie 50 is crazy, but I think that like if you're gonna use my Yang then I should get something for sure How much is your Yang worth it really depends how close they got No, I'm saying like if it's if it's that visible and I'm in a movie like if they can make out the scar tissue on there The scar tissue Wow, what do you think has happened to my I don't know what happens? Well, I mean you clearly so ashamed of it. I don't know if you're telling a bamboo stick and just fucking whack at it or something a Bamboo stick how how what are you how did you grow up masturbating? Bamboo stick with my a panda. I'm saying that you are clearly projecting the shame that you have for Your indiscriminately sized wiener. I also was not walking around naked in my living room I don't do that. Do you guys walk around? Well, you don't walk around naked. You hate being naked. I do hate being naked, but I got a house So I I use like I explore the space naked sometimes not a lot your bedroom. Yes, yeah Do you walk around naked? I'm pretty much always in my underwear. I can't really be naked because I got other people in the house that just barge in You're always in your underwear pretty much. That's all of us. I would just underwear Yeah, do you walk around barefoot? Do you leave your socks on I leave my socks on for everything? For everything is You reference you sleep in your socks. Yeah, I sleep in my socks, too. Don't worry about it. We're together Yeah, you guys sleep in your socks. Yes, all socks sleeps. Yeah, yeah, what are we doing? You guys don't get overheated? No Actually, if anything I feel it regulates my temperature better because if they're off I'm more likely to get cold Then if they're on being more likely to get hot forget regularly you guys should be medicated I don't think I don't I actually I have heard that it is like conducive to sleeping better wearing socks because like I said it regulates your temperature when you sleep I also live with oh my god. I love it so much. Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. She likes the room cold And so you're feek it. I mean it could be I get a little I mean, I'm a heat rock, but like yes It could get a little do you rather it'd be hot? I would rather be hot than cold No, but you could always be more hot like you can't like you could put on blankets. Can't you know what I'm saying? Yeah No, but then I can just put on clothes But if you're too hot, but if you're too hot, you can't take off more skin you can't take off skin You can't take off more. Yeah, I mean if I'm too hot then I just take off the clothing. I'm wearing yeah But what if it's it's continuously yeah, not what well then there's a fire in the house because We have we have a working air conditioning I love sleeping in a cold room if it was snowing I'd prefer that I mean that's crazy We know someone that is like that like legitimately like Espos place. I remember his bedrooms. Yo, not even kidding. Don't even 50 degrees. Espos parents the fact that they're Energy bill is not through the fucking roof if your energy bill. How are they alive? How are they surviving in that house? Well, there's gotta be some science on 13 There's got to be some science behind a lot has come out about people doing cold plunges and stuff like that Yeah, I mean being in their house as a cold plunge The closest thing to a cold plunge that I've ever heard their cottage. Yes or whatever Yes, yes, and I would come in from jumping in the lake and then I get inside and be like I have literally instant hypothermia in this house Yo, it gets cold. It gets called maybe a colder maybe colder conditions are better on the skin I don't yeah, that's I think it keeps your skin tight. It keeps it tight and Hydrated because well, maybe it drives it out. I'm not sure but I'm saying that there's possibly some science someone can tell us do you have a Face routine like what's that called? No, that's not a face skincare skincare routine. I don't have a routine I have been provided some products by some lovely companies that every now and then I'll I'll be like, you know, Oh, but you don't do it every single night. No, no, no. Do you sometimes? So same answer is me. Yeah What do you got? I From the a PO box a few times. I've gotten like a bunch of skincare stuff like face masks and like the under-eyed pasties thing Oh, you get like the this you know, you put them on I'll be honest. I actually pretty much like never use the face stuff now that I think about it It's more of the hand stuff. I'm more worried about my hands being dry You are big on your hands. I am. You lick them like I cat. We've gone over that. We don't have to I know but I Just I I don't like use much of the face stuff. Really. I use a I use a Moisturizer there's some stuff that I have that I used to use a lot But I stopped using it because I don't know if you guys noticed back there I mean I did talk about it on the show But my eye was fucked up for like a month because I got some cream in it and then I got a like a little thing and it took forever to clear up But I needed steroids but also my dog had something wrong with his eye also. He needed steroids twins. Why are you guys smiling? It's him not me. What I do why are you laughing because it's steroids? Yeah, that's why I'm laughing I'm not laughing at all. I'm just I'm listening. I I you look at him like wait till I say something. I'm a little sneaky No, no, I'm just you you expressed that you had something getting your eye and it fucked it up and you needed medication Oh, I see I see I see what's going on now and you're laughing Strike three for you buddy. I'm telling your dad literally in person the next time and see him which would be in a year I think but I'm I'm going to tell him no less Couple months. Maybe we don't know It's time. You know what you meant by that. That's another point unfortunately Yeah, you the ice that you're on is literally I think this episode is just Dedicated to rage-baiting Joey Him and I can't even talk about using eye cream without you being like. Oh, you know I did it. I looked over it. I cream or a guy's cream I know that's what you're saying. I did not see that. You're insinuating you're projecting your insecurities about your sexuality upon me. Stop using therapy Speak I am I am I am I am affronted. I have been sitting here trying to Establish decorum and speak with a plomb on this episode and you're sitting here. You know doing all this That's another one. I'm gonna come over there and snap the computer and I looked over at it and I saw him go like this That's what he did. That's what he did. No, that's something you do. No, it is not. That's another one. Josh show the clip It's a lot of point. Let me find out that you did another one I'm a prisoner in my own studio. This place sucks. I hate this place. I I looked over at him and my laughing was more of a sense of that's inappropriate. Be respectful then it was like yeah He maybe did get a load in his eye Shut up and shut up and I'm pointing at both you mark it down. I don't care What else do we have to talk about? I don't know if this will upset you or not But one of the Santa got a studio's videos. We lost some monetization Well, actually we're giving it to somebody else right now. Oh, what does that even begin to mean? Also, why are we talking about this on the podcast? Oh, I was gonna Explain that the reason is because you guys sung backstreet boys so well that It was flagged. Wait, when did we sing backstreet boys in the misheard music video when you were singing in Simish? Oh, when we were like, what does that mean brought Simish? Yeah, it's the language from the Sims Oh, bro. I thought that was like you ever played the Sims like you were singing in Simish I thought that was like a word. I used to play the Sims. I love I've never played the Sims But you can like build a house and people die and then like yeah, you like don't put a door in a room and then they sit there They cry they die. I've seen people like put their dogs in a fire. I'm like, what is this? Yeah I mean, that's the that's the bad parts of life that you don't want to interrupt that what so wait We're giving money to the backstreet boys. So the backstreet boys flagged you for singing their song in Simish Shut the fuck up. I swear to God. Wait, we sing it in a in a made-up language And then we got flagged and we have to give them the money. Yeah, first of all what's going on? One Speaks of how good we are doing things Singing that song see not just like a music in the background. I did not it was all you take flagged it I mean this might be the pipeline that we get to the backstreet boys I'll tell you what if we do get to the backstreet boys I'm showing up with a big document and an invoice being like okay me back They're a residency at Vegas at the sphere. They can give me the money back. They can afford to give us so but we We would have to go in and inflate the numbers on the video and just be like yeah, this video was supposed to a big inflate This supposed to have made like 20 million dollars 150 million dollars. Yeah, you know like so just give us you know, just give us a third That's what you ask give us a hundred. Let them let them believe that they're getting a deal. Yeah, yeah You know, that's how you do it. You're still reading the art of the deal, right? I don't even know what that is You would just tell me it's your favorite book. I don't know what that is. Oh well. I'm reading a book about mushrooms Actually, I switched I put the mushroom book down and now I'm reading a book about you guessed it childhood trauma. So in the episode where you, so in the episode where you project your discomfort with your tiny penis, you tell us that you're reading a book on childhood trauma and then you had previously been reading a book about a mushroom. Let's unpack that. Finner ice and him. Actually that's not true at all. What did I say? Don't even say yes. Wait, hold on. So the Backstreet Boys are getting some of our money. Yes. So in addition to not only supporting them by literally being drug mules for their fucking music, now they want to take us, they want to bend Joey over. Hey, wait, are you, are you, are you, what are you saying? We sing their music all the time. No, no, no, what is the drug mules thing? We're like, we're mules for them basically. Oh, you know, so now what they're doing is they're bending Joey over and taking his car cold, hard earned cash from him. First of all, we'll take free tickets to a show. Dad, I'm on board for if we get to come to the sphere and sit in any seat we want, but not even just that like if you're gonna, if we basically, we want to sing the song, basically, power talk. Thank you. Get us out and they're just like, JC, nope, nope, no, no, I got it. Kevin, yeah, AJ, Brian, yeah, howie, what Nick, yeah. Like, you saw what we can do, right? And we did it so well that we're paying you. We're basically, literally, you've put people on stage for free. I assume. Yeah, you pull a fan up and be like, no, sing a song, Rusty. Yeah, exactly. And he sucks. Yeah, yeah. And then like, you're like, all right, sit down. Yeah, all right. Okay, you know, but like we've literally paid into this opportunity. Yeah, let us get our monies work. Yeah, you know, just go up there and you guys could do your whole thing. Like, I've seen there's like videos you guys going to like the matrix and shit like that. That's all you're a boy band. I'm gonna need to be harness to the floor if we're gonna do that. Also, watch this. We'll work on it. We'll work on it for sure. Yeah, um, we'll work on it. That's a different band. No, it isn't. That's also no, no, that's Mary and that that's in sync. Yeah, that was that was that was in sync. That was no, but like, I go look at the the uh, the everybody packs treats back. Go look at the music video. I guess everyone was doing that. Pull up the fuck a music video. Don't show it on here because they already taken enough of our money. We can't have the big. I'm afraid of saying. I'll be right now. But if you see, I believe it's AJ. He goes in the video and he's just like, oh my god, we're back again. And like, oh, because he's the mummy. Because he's the mummy, dude. It was a great Halloween music video. I think he was the phantom of the opera. Oh, that might be true. That might be it. Regardless, if you're going to take the money, we want to sing the song on stage. Not the whole song. Just want to get a couple notes in. Also like, I think we are both coordinated. I think that we both have, I'm starting to get nervous though. Combined fair amounts of cardiovascular health. Frank, we could learn choreography. And I'm not talking for like a whole song. I'm not even talking for half a song. Give us this. Give us this. That's all we need. That last clap. Holy shit. That ring my ears. I heard it. I heard it. Bounce against the back wall. We don't need much. We're simple. We're backstreet boy fans. Yeah. You know. We're boys. We're not backstreet than you. We're basement. Backstreet boys. The basement boys. I'm sure that everyone in your crowd would be confused. And that's okay because our fans would like it. No press is bad press. No press for these idiots. No press is bad press, especially in today's world. Let's be honest. Okay. So what they could do is they could just be like the backstreet boys bought up who? Yeah. And then TMZ gets it along with your pictures from the drone. And they run away with it. I will say it is obvious that we would be getting more out of this than you guys. But I think you need to be okay with that. Also, they're already still our money. They've taken our money. Yeah. If anything. Also, backstreet boys, you should be in a part of your life where you're being generous with your time. Like you should be spotlighting young creators. Oh, you know what? I just thought about this. Maybe it's not them and it's the label. That's a label. But here's the thing that is what's happening. And they're going to see this. But that's not fun to think about. Oh, my God. Like I didn't even know what was happening. I don't think he talks like that anymore. I think he does. He may. I think he does. Can we cross-reference my Nick Carter impression? Who's your favorite backstreet boy? I mean, I was pretty cool with AJ due to sick. Had it a couple of earrings. I thought it was cool. How's Brian? Brian, you kind of look like Brian. I think that's why I liked him. I was like, oh, I just like any of them. Howie. But like I just. I just. What? I just think I'm kidding. I love everyone. All of the boys from the backstreet have my approval. Right. They're, I mean, they're legends. Legitimately legitimately like like not a joke. They are legitimately like I will say we're like joking around here. But if this did spiral out of control, I'd be mad nervous. Brother. Also, I'm not doing this. Just so if you guys are watching this and you're even considering this. You know how the boy like they do. They're the backstreet boys. They're also sitting on bleachers in like a studio for some reason. You know what I mean? Yeah. Oh, my God. This is so fun. And then Nick's got his foot up against a like a basketball. Yes. And then Kevin's in the back and you think he's just sitting down but he's really tall. Yeah. If you guys are watching this and you do want to bring us on stage and be like, oh, be really funny moment. You guys, you know, could sing the song. I'm not doing it with a handheld mic. I need this. You need this. I need that. And I need sunglasses. I need sunglasses that don't that are one glass. One glass. You need the this mic. Yeah. You know, we need puffer vests and baggy pants baggy pants. I'm talking. I'm even going like, what kind of shoe wear are we wearing? We need some like mid 90s lugs. That's what I'm talking about because Timberlands people have stolen Timberland culture from New York. Don't get me started on that lugs. Give respect to something with a fucking buckle. Something that if I used during kickball, it would be a cheat code. Yeah. You know what I'm saying? Like, they wouldn't allow it in a league. In a professional league. It'd be big sneakers. Yeah. And like, very, very minimal. Yeah. You can just give us a high five. You know, what the way you gave yourself a high five. Yeah. Um, I'll also just go to a show too though. But I, but I'd like to be in it. I'd like to sing a note. I would like or you know what bare minimum acknowledges. Bro, first of all, obviously this is hilarious, but we're going to shoot a shot on a podcast now. That's what we do. Our lives have gotten kind of out of control. And this feels a little bit possible. So I'm going to say it. Listen, if you know Frank, hold on. Just for one second, just think, can you imagine that that happened if they were like, come on stage with us? And we sang a song with the backstreet boys. First of all, that's not happening. What second of all, if it didn't happen though, that's better than MSG. I'm glad you said it. That's way better. I mean, you know, I was on stage with the fucking backstreet. I mean, we were on fucker. You were on stage with Frank Alvarez at Madison Square Garden. That's pretty fucking great too. Yeah. I almost said it. I almost let the B-word go. Oh, you were going to call me a baby. Oh boy was I. Yeah. That would be up there. That'd be crazy. That'd be up there. And like, my sister would kill me. Oh my god. My sister would bring her fucking Dolphin starter jacket out of retirement that she bought just because she wanted to impress Nick Carter at TRL. And she would punch me in the mouth. That's a real story. My sister became a Dolphin's fan because she heard that fucking Nick Carter was a Dolphin's fan. So she, my parents bought her a Miami Dolphins starter jacket in the 90s. It's probably fire. Yeah. You ever seen a starter jacket and said ill that's ugly. Yeah, they're all sick. They're the best. Yeah. Every single design. Let's shoot another shot. Hey starter. You know me. I'm fucking there baby. I'm ready to go. Squeeze out of this show. I mean, listen, also. Yeah, we've made our pitch to the backstreet boys. Yeah. If they don't do it in sync, this is the perfect time to swoop in and get some good press on the same episode. I mean, listen, listen, listen, listen, listen. We can reignite the boy band war. We can bring back the triple B baby 2026, the reemerging of triple B boy band beef. All right. Everyone talked about Drake, first Kendrick, Drake, first Kendrick, Drake, first Kendrick. Let's bring back and spark the fire and flames of in sync versus backstreet boys. And they are fighting over us. Take it easy, boys. We've officially gotten ahead of ourselves. We have. Yeah. I just think that there's because like, what if in sync, our fans are so supportive. Yeah. Thank you guys so much. Yeah. And what if they rally behind us. tag in the Backstreet Boys, which (laughs) - Maya. (laughs) - Maya. - What if everyone cut a clip of us? - That's something. - It's just like, what if someone, what if we, what if someone used their hard skills and valued time to find all the clips of us singing about the Backstreet Boys? - And they make a fucking clip that goes mega viral. - What if people worked really hard to help us too who are already spoiled, get more out of this? - What if that happened? - I mean, if their life is not to help us, then what are you doing? - Why be a fan, be a better fan? (laughs) - Do what we want you to do, not what you want to do. - I feel like one of those like preachers now? - Locked the door. - I need to collect $100,000. - Oh yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Those fucking mega church pastors that are just like, I need a new G6 in order to spread the word of God. Speaking of, we do have some sponsors for today, the first one being, how you doing? - How you doing? - I'll keep going after. - How you doing Squarespace, okay? Is it Squarespace? - Yes, it is, it is Squarespace, Squarespace. It's a platform where it's gonna help you create and run your website. So if you make content or you have an online business or you sell things, you're gonna wanna use Squarespace if you're not already using it because that is the only one that I will use. All the landing pages that we've created have been through Squarespace and they're amazing. And they make it very easy to make a professional looking website, which is very important. It's your first impression, it's huge. So you can go to squarespace.com, they have templates, you click on the templates, it'll populate a website, you switch out the text, you switch out the pictures, you have a professional looking website, you literally could do that in an afternoon, I've done it before. So that's a great feature of it as well. And they have a lot of features that are gonna help you optimize your traffic, give you all the updates and send you emails about this, how many people we're visiting and blah, blah, blah, give you suggestions of what you should do. So Squarespace is the one. You can head to squarespace.com/basement and you'll save 10% off your first person for a website or a domain using that code basement. Okay, that is squarespace.com/basement to save 10% off of your first purchase of a website or a domain. And we also have prize picks, okay? The big game is almost here, there's no better way to cash in during America's biggest sporting event than prize picks. It makes, you know, Sundays, especially for me, I kind of use prize picks for the football season, but you can build these lineups and you're competing against the prize picks projection. So you're saying, will Sam Donald have more or less than 200 yards in this game? Or will Kenneth Walker get in the end zone one, or more or less than 0.5 times, stuff like that. So you can build those and you can win a bunch of money doing that and it's a lot of fun. And they also have early payouts. So if your player gets off to a hot start, you have the option to cash out winnings before the game even finishes. So make it easy for you there. And you can download the prize picks app today and use the code basement. You'll get $50 in lineups after you play your first $5 lineup. That is the code basement to get $50 in lineups after you play your first $5 lineup prize picks. It's good to be right. - Frank? - Yes. - Thank you. I appreciate you throwing it over to me. I need to have an uncomfortable conversation with you guys. And it's about the state of our nation. And our nation is Patreon, patreon.com/thebasementyard. What's the state of it? It's going great. It's incredible. There's stuff on there that maybe you wanna take a look at. Maybe you wanna gander, okay? Maybe Patreon is inviting you to come take a look under the blanket, so to say. (laughs) Well, you're not gonna get the chance if you don't go to patreon.com/thebasementyard. That's the blanket. I'm showing you the weight of the blanket. And all you need to do, lift it up, take a look. Patreon.com/thebasementyard. It's time for that first year. You got these week episodes a week in advance. Whatever. What the fuck is happening? (laughs) I can hear even Anne over there going what is he doing? Second year? Weekly episodes every single Friday. Right? Yeah, also. Hey Joe, I got a question for you. If I join Patreon today, do I only get to see the episode that come out after my joining? No, you get access to all of them. All of them. All of them. It's actually a good question. I've gotten that before. It's a good question. Thanks for your approval. This guy. This guy over here. I'm telling your dad. I can't wait. Well listen, go to patreon.com/thebasementyard. Jokes aside, we love the fact that you joined us on this ride and we want you to keep joining us. Or if it's your first time watching or listening or you're thinking about maybe you need a little nudge in the right direction to check out what's under the blanket. This is that one. So go to patreon.com/thebasementyard. Sign up, you're going to love every single second and have a wee promise. You'll get more of this. You get more of that. Don't end. (laughs) Don't do that. Fuck. Oh God, go check it out. If you want to save yourself some money, go do that at the URL on a web browser. If you use an app, guess what? It's going to take us some money from you. So save yourself some bucks, sign up for patreon.com/thebasementyard. Thank you, we love you. We'll talk with you later. Last pitch I'm going to say about this. That's not a saying at all. Last thing I'm going to say about this. But the backstreet boys. We have made our plea and made our case of the backstreet boys. The balls are in their court. It's not just one ball now, there's five of them. So you need multiple balls for them. If they chose not to do it, it's okay. Also, other boy bands, I think I can speak for both of us. We're not opposed. In sync. I mean, listen, sounds like Justin Timberlake could use some good press. Maybe, maybe we can help. Don't ruin this. I'm not ruining anything. I'm just saying. Are you ready bringing up other options? We have one goal. We have one goal. But that doesn't mean that we can't be bought. We're paying. I know. We can't be purchased. In. I'm just, I've said what I had to say. Yeah. And I think, you know, I think I could speak for, anyone would be lucky to have us. I could. I don't know, I don't know. I mean, I might throw up on that, say, should be honest. Well, it looks like it would get me dizzy. I mean, if I looked back and I saw like, you know, like, like, oh my god, we're flying through a black hole. You're going to throw up on the stage. That would be, that would be tough, especially like everybody. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Some of those rooms, like, I remember when we were, like, first time on stage, first time, back to boys, you hear that. First time we were on stage at Radio City. I remember standing on that stage and just seeing the curvature of the room and just be like, whoa, this is, I feel a little dizzy. Yeah, a little bit, you know, it could have been also in addition to the weight of the moment for our first time of two nights on stage, it sold out Radio City. And, uh, it was, it was intense. So like, I can imagine getting on there and should be like, this is also intense. Yeah, that would be a crazy one. I don't know. But they've done like stadiums. So like, balls are in your court. If you're, if you're getting one song to do with them. And they're saying, you can hop on one song. Here's our set list, which one is like that one right there. That one. I think everybody day, uh, I do want to do the dance, or at least want to do the part where they just go. Everybody, uh, you know, what? There's a part of the song where it's like, uh, everybody. Everybody, everybody, everybody. Yeah, I want to, or, or that part. Yeah, throw your hands up in the air. Ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh. We were round and like it just don't get y'all. That was pretty good. Yeah, be careful how good it gets. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. Now we're going to hold them next, too. If we, they take money from us in two videos, I'll tell you what. Now we have to upload this early and make sure it doesn't get. Come on. We have to make sure that this doesn't get that much. Not much. Right. No, I don't know anymore. The rules are so crazy with YouTube. Dude, call up the CEO of YouTube. Just be like, "Long door." Yeah. What are you doing here? What should I say? I'm, I'm going to the office. No, well, yeah, I guess I said you'd call him. So like, ooh, him. Oh, yeah. You know what? Oops. Him or her. Women can't be CEOs. No, they can be and should be. I believe that the CEO of YouTube is woman. If I'm not mistaken. Cancel him. No. Of all the things you're going to look up now, you're going to look like an asshole. I'm pretty sure. I'm pretty sure. I'm pretty sure. She's a. I am a victim of a patriarchal society. Yeah. I'm a victim here. That's a good narrative. That's going to spin it. You like that? I've done something wrong, but it's because the world made me this way. It made me into the monster that I am. Okay. Oh, it's a man now. Ah! So she was fired for a man, even worse. She stepped down. Stepping down is great. Her own accord. We love that. You love it. And that choice? That's how you girl boss. Even if you're stepping down from being the boss, still girl boss. She still. Well, CEO of YouTube is now Neil. Neil? Oh, yeah. Our back to this. Neil. Your dad is the CEO of YouTube. Neil what? Mohan. Neil Mohan? I think I got it. Spell it. M-O-H-A-N. That was how I thought it was going to be spelt. Yeah. I mean from Susan. Susan stepped down. Susan. There's better names. Yeah. Well. That's a bad idea. This is going to. This is, if anything, now YouTube has like a- Double reason to fucking hit us, you know, we buried it. We're 40 minutes into an episode. They'll never see Niels gonna be like Niels to searches Niels. Niels searches his name And all the videos that have been uploaded and he just scrubs through him and he's gonna say you're pretty grit And be like I'm not gonna do anything and he's gonna see my fucking ugly mug and he's gonna be like now I gotta do something. What is this? You always do this thing where you're like this big ogre who's disgusting. It's ridiculous You act like you're just like oh me. I'm just so I'm like I got pimples and I'm like disgusting and I stink Like that's how you you talk It's ridiculous. It's ridiculous. First of all you're a go-looking guy first of all let's start here Who is to say that your beauty standards are Pimpley is bad Get him people that are suffering from acne to There is only one instance in popular media where we can point to an ogre and that's Shrek And Shrek is a corner of the internet fucking daddy. What port what point are you making? I'm saying that you always talk about your your appearance negatively. No, I think I'm a relatively good-looking guy I said with we talk about your ass then you go crazy See what he what a loaded episode your ass makes him make up words. Well don't put your voice like the least guy What it what what what like what is going on in this episode? What first? You're clearly feeling away about how you look in the mirror first. What? We started there. No, what we started with was a double body shame was a singular body shame It was not even a I mean you guys totally shamed him you guys double dog piled me you talked about my butt And then you talked about something else that I can't remember at the moment, but I will watch the tape. I think it was your tiny His words. Well, that's what you brought up his words. There was a lot of insinuating. Then you brought up uh The eye cream if he will I laughed at aunt because I looked over at aunt. He will like this Yeah, that's what he did and let's be careful because Niels watching. Yeah. No, no, it's gonna happen and the backstreet boys Yeah, I mean this could be one of the most like like celebrity viewed episodes Because they're backstreet boys. There's five of them. You think of this the staying power of each of the individual boys at the backstreet boys Then you add Neil in there. Niels got Neil the biggest media platform on the planet basically. Yeah, which I think is doing a great job We're cool. We're cool dude. We're cool. Niel. We're so cool. You're good. You're really cool. And put your fingers down. Yeah, be careful. Sorry. Uh I don't know. I'm just saying that like yeah, I don't think I'm ugly, but like If you had to rank yourself one to ten. Oh, we've done this a bunch. Yeah, that was like years ago I don't remember so we're revisiting our are do you think you're higher or lower? Like have you do you think you've peaked um, I think I am the best version of myself that I've ever been physically overall I'm talking about appearance. Oh just just appearance What are we doing here? Oh, I mean, there was an overall ranking. There's a bunch of that stuff. We're talking about how you have this thing Where you say you act like you're disgusting. I know I don't do that. It's a joke since jokes and and and fun for One to ten on just looks I would say I'm at like She's just tough because any answer I give people are just gonna be like no You're bad or there's gonna be those dickheads that are just be like Honestly, Frankie, I think that you're pretty cool, but like you got to know you're ugly So there's no fucking answer that I gave it to get a satisfy anyone. So you know what there is no winning There is no winning. There's no winning. So I'm going to leave it For ambiguity. I'm gonna let the world decide and by the world. I mean Becca because that's the only fucking opinion I need on that and god and Santa Claus That's right. God and Santa Claus. They're always watching. Yeah, that that that is correct. Yeah, but yeah, I mean I know I'm not glad. Why do you break that a joke like this? Why do you have to make me do that? I'm joking back. You're joking back? Yeah, I'm joking back I think you're both tens That doesn't save you buddy. Yeah, thanks. You think I forgot about the last 45 minutes. Yeah, nice try. You're you're you're telling your dad Why would you do serious question? Yeah? Oh, wow that you're enjoying that What would you do if his dad actually saw that and then he came into work When we were recording he's like, yeah guys like you need to like seriously step back on those jokes. We're like wide. He's like My dad bent me over his knee and spanked First of all that would be an insane thing to come in and say too if you think that's not resulting in a doubling and tripling down on the jokes You are sadly mistaken. Look at me like I said it. Yo Could you like if he was like, yo, you got a chill. I'd be like literally not gonna I just like the picture of like because I've met your father have you ever been Spanked by your dad crazy at a context thing to say no like you know like across this knee and being like ah I think once and Smacked your butt. I think I think once and like it was like a pivotal thing for my dad where he was just like For that moment on I never want my case be afraid of me So he like didn't hit us again, but he gave us the look like really wish our parents hung out more because my dad I think that addicted to it. Got it. Wait, you got bent over like you're fucking peppy. La pu and I never got bent over That never happened a couple that was more like a standing it was always so like you took it standing Great come on. I mean, I'm sorry. I didn't mean to do that, but like yes was it was a bear butt No, I wasn't my Did you get across the knee? I mean, you dad's Italian. You probably like no, probably you would have wouldn't spoon any time You had a wife theater on your leave. I'll stay out of his way. You see godfather But like he never you never really I don't think so maybe when I was really little I mean, you're the oldest of your siblings too. So if anyone's getting their their shit beat. It's you That's why you know what I mean come on. Yeah, double on tundra's don't know Neil take it easy on us because we're just joking around Well, both both kneels Yeah, yeah, all kneels involved. I was talking about the big Neil That's the other Neil and then you're your Papa Neil. That's what we'll call them yellow and Neil. Yes, that's right Yeah, I can't I don't know if I've ever known someone or at least they haven't told me like that like just got like the legit like me out they like slumped over it and then just got like a yeah, that's like a real fifties thing That's a real fifties way of abusing children. Yeah, that's not really modern. Yeah, now it's done through like text messages. Yeah, now Yeah, exactly now now you like psychologically catfish your daughter and you just pretend to be other people in Bully or until she's psychotic If you plan on being a parent There's two ways of rearing your children the old fashioned way. Yeah with a wooden spoon with spanking on the butt or You can text them if they're a foggy slower. Yeah, you can cerebrally Assassinate them, you know, and guess what you also have the luxury of if you get caught The world made you into this monster exactly your trauma that made you do this just because you blatantly get caught Doesn't mean that you can't change the narrative and be a victim to bingo If you get in trouble for something that you actively do You're not in trouble for it because you're doing it because something actively happened to you Correct. I don't know. I mean, you know, I think like What a crazy document what it fucking fuck it. Did we talk about that? Yeah, we talked about it ad nauseam. Yeah, it's good word I like that. It reminds me of museum. What does ad nauseam mean? Like does that mean until we're nauseous? Like a yeah That's what it feels like like we talk about until we want to like until like but it's got to be it's got to be Latin right also is it at nauseam ad ad oh yeah and nauseam is like like mazaliam Good word also. Yeah. What is it? What is it? Is it one word or two words? It's ad nauseam ad used to say that something happens or is done so many times for such a long time that it makes people annoyed Disgusted so similar basically what I said one word or two words Where so where does the word what nauseous? I know nauseous has to do with like the feeling of being sick But I guess like if we trace it back to the early roots of what nauseous means. It's the same thing No, you had it's a Latin phrase. It means two sickness so until sickness y'all I'm a fucking genius Frank the word is ad nauseam I mean, but to be able to make the distinction that it's Latin I think is very impressive. Well, well, I'm just really excited to be sitting next to Rosetta Stone Thank God you're here to figure that one out. Literally my guess too. I didn't get any credit. Well, you don't deserve credit He can accredit though You know who does deserve credit and is finally maybe getting some No us Oh I had no idea where you were going with that. I mean the segue wasn't perfect, but you know It was actually a good one. You've had way worse in the past. How so Jeff the hard pivot sometimes. I mean. Yeah, sometimes you have to hard pivot. No, but uh, I don't know it was announced And I think we can talk about it now, but we have been going to go for it We're just gonna do it right at this point. Yeah, who cares Neil turn this off Neil wait, wait, are we gonna turn it on? I don't know. Well. Yeah, why would you tell me all the two is Neil? Yeah, why would you do that? Neil he doesn't want you in the room I do because I think everyone deserves a seat at the table to have a conversation about what they feel here There you go Neil No, we got nominated for I heart I heart radio podcast awards. Yeah, we got Track I mean track track track a plot track. Yeah, Joey wants the collapse. I'll give him it Got that out Neil Yeah, we got nominated for awards. We got best comedy best comedy podcast and best overall ensemble I believe it is which is wild. I didn't think that we were an ensemble. Pull him up. Pull him up, baby Well, that's that's what it is. Yeah, pull them up. What are you gonna look for? You want me to just want to make sure that I want to see who else We're nominated with it's best overall ensemble, which we're an ensemble that feels like we're doing a dance Well, you know what I'm saying? I mean no an ensemble is just a group. I know, but ensemble to me sounds like Ensemble feels like more than two. Yeah, so like huh? Don't don't don't just more than two you'd say. Yeah Too many now we're an ensemble because of this nomination Now like I'm flat we're we're very honored to be like legitimately like all jokes We were just talking we started talking about Joey's tiny weiner and now we're nominated for awards. Yes. It's crazy Yeah, I will say the fact that we because I just learned today I knew that we were nominated for best comedy podcast for a while now not for a while but like a week and a half or whatever and that that was cool I just learned today that we were also nominated for best overall ensemble and That is although very happy for that also not The best because I got to deal with this now. Yeah. So I did not and say anything and so over there going like you know ensemble Isn't duo I mean, you know, I think that all the others the addition could have also Like taking us from being nominated elsewhere So he's viewing it isn't a positive like maybe you have just fucked us up. So we better win really Yeah, well, I was looking at the other people in the category and it's all like Trio's the ensemble. Yeah, I'm just saying. Oh wow Sky sky you got it. You know, you need to do it right the people love and you know, I mean good. He deserves it Oh my god when it's like contract negotiation time This is gonna come up. Can I be in only if we win? Can I be in on the talks if we lose then it's easy. I get to blame you Yeah If we win you're gonna oh, I mean, this is a classic scenario of just like if the cake is good I made it if it's bad so what else? It's the same situation. So I mean listen jokes aside an Incredible honor because yeah, the names in there are people that are Like been in the age of people massive shows massive people comedians actors actresses So just even being in the conversation is cool But then seeing that like you're nominated in the font that Batman forever was typed in is really fucking cool too Why did they use that fun? I don't know that is so funny That is the Batman forever fought though. Yeah, I mean, I'm just excited that we get to sit and go to an award show and just sit there I just feel like yeah, I mean, I'm cool with losing to be honest. Yeah, I mean, it's gonna be fun if we're if we're being honest We are Imagine setting your makeup then forgetting it's even theirs Meet new grippy setting mist from Mavily, New York Gel to mist technology locks in your look for up to 24 hours with flexible all-day comfy grip No tightness no sticking is no residue just plum do we hydrated skin that still feels like your skin try new Grippy setting mist from Mavily, New York. Maybe it's Maybe lane Nominated in best comedy category with some juggernauts. Yeah Amy Polar is one of them. Yeah So shit, you know, it's the honor of losing to the great Amy Polar And then in the other one again juggernauts one of the people that are nominated one of the shows in there is smartless Both nominated for golden globes this year. Yeah, one was a winner and did anyone else in that category get nominated for golden globe? Did we get no? No, no, we did not no We maybe steps. I mean listen to the nomination. I full just being completely honest here and not joking anymore I don't know if that's true, but Not something that I thought was actually possible because when you go and you look at the names who are nominated like in our field like They're kind of like either have a really good relationship with certain companies or whatever They're very famous people like obviously we are not that we're very independent kind of do our own thing here in New York So the fact that we even nominated on this and and the winners are decided by like a like their own Judges or whatever so like the fact that we're even nominated by people like that is like fucking awesome Yeah, you know, we're doing something right. I mean, we're also hot off the presses of being a sexiest podcast on the planet Which is also a crazy thing like yeah, like you know if we're you know Like you what's happening if we're letting you peek under the blanket We are legitimately in a place where we're just like the things that have happened to us are crazy They're just funny now and now it's getting to a point where it's just like that would be funny and then it's like it happens like Yeah, it's it is it's weird, but also we need to approach it that way because if we don't Certain people here that I can't point fingers to right are going to be like Yeah, you know, yeah, but we remain humble The byproduct there is pretty unfortunate What are Humble Iity is what is preventing us from winning two words that we've made up today Is that a word? No humble Iity our humble humbleness humble humbility humility. That's it. That's the one Yeah, what if that's what's preventing us from winning in this stuff like maybe we didn't get nominated for a go-and-go because we were two humble I don't know what we could have done diff I mean, what if we just made Spitball in here. What if we just made shirts and you just put our names on all the shirts and Oh, you know what even faces Try that I've made that I've done that before I mean it's something something it's a thought Yeah, um, no, but that's it's crazy. I mean a lot of this stuff is just fucking funny now and even like we were joking before about the Backstreet Boy thing like if something like that ends up happening like One that's just like not That's a dangerous thing to happen for us to know that we could speak something stupid like that into existence Get ready Remember there was a whole run of episodes We did where we were like saying that there was a bidding war out for the basement you were we didn't do anything You it was a conversation like oh Taylor Swift buy our podcast whatever that I didn't say that I said fund it But also I think that uh, you know For you know how I am I keep a near to the ground with things in the entertainment industry movies TV you know who comic books stuff like that The way that that industry works is when something gets hot enough everyone wants it What if we need to be hotter hotter? We got to get hotter but like in the sense of like You know backstreet boy backstreet boys you could become like you can have equity in this if you really want. Oh don't use that word I mean you know you think about it like they could they could what but they just need to give us what we want and maybe they'll get equity What are you doing? I'm trying to do everything. I know everything. I think we're campaigning is what we're doing now I mean you got a campaign you got to start somewhere. I know but What's the award again? I heart I heart podcast award or something like that. It's a it's South by Southwest Yeah, so the show is in South by Southwest uh in Austin in Austin um I think it's safe to say I can't we could say we'll be attending Yeah and either uh I fully plan on making I can have a cool outfit I was thinking about that. Should I wear a candle and back in and I first of all I already have two second of all I was thinking Cuz back in I were like what are we gonna wear and I was like oh shit. Yeah, that's right like do we do tux Or is that like you got a podcast award you need to take it a little joky like it's like a cut I believe what they said was cocktail attire I mean you are so far this year. Oh for one for cocktail attire because he dresses the weights Honestly, yeah, you want to know something funny about that ice and I swear to whatever god is correct That I was when I put on the suit right because I was like I don't want to wear a bluer black suit. I want to wear something different I put on the suit and I looked at myself in the mirror and I was like this looks nice But I look like a matriety And I'm like it would be very funny if I'm dressed like if there if the staff is dressed like that hold it and when we walked in I was like I really need to stop manifesting. Yeah. Well, I mean that that is what you do and what people do in general is like, things only happen when they are manifested. - Right, yeah. - So you did that. - Ah, yeah, you did that. - Yeah, so I was like, oh God. Can we, it wasn't that bad. No one made a comment, just me. I mean, oh my God. - It's just such a big momentous occasion that we need to like, remember it by purchasing something fucking stupid. All right, well, I almost pointed there. Yeah, after, by the end of the year, you might be able to afford some of them. We're at 90 bucks. - I thought that he just pocket watch you and said, you're a broke bitch. - Oh, no, no. - Maybe by the end of the year you'll be able to buy yourself something nice. - You stupid fuckin' peasant. We started at 40, we got 50 this time. - We got 50. - I mean, if we are, if we are, you know, as of recording three weeks into the month, average if we're making $100 a month, I could be walking out with a pretty good chunk of change by the end of this year. - That's what I'm saying. - You know, and if I just keep rage baiting him, it'll get better. - Yeah. - But I don't point just for anger. I point because I talk with my hands and we're doing a thing, you know? - I think it's mostly anger that you point at me. - I think we should have taped my fingers now. - I mean, you could do whatever you want. You could put your fingers anywhere. - Do you feel like this? - What am I doing? - Did we do it? - Did we do it? - Did we do an average 40 hands episode? - Oh my god, that'd be so good. - We didn't. I've done it at your house numerous times. - I think the only times you've ever done it have been with me. - And underaged. - Nail? - Does it make it worse that I-- - Can I add here? - Stop Nail. Does it make it worse that I did Edward Fort-- - For those of you guys that don't know what Edward Forty hands is, by the way. It was an inner city thing when 40-ounce beers were $3. - Such a-- - It's not best to deal ever. - Yo, such a crazy deal. - You know what, like you talk to boomers and they're like, oh, I bought my house for $15,000. I still don't think that's a better deal than the 40. - Yo, that really is not. - Getting fucking eight beers for $6,000, crazy. - And not like, yeah, you can get 40 ounces of like old English or like Cobra, which is like, it's malt liquor technically. It's not even beer. - But you got a butt light. - You got a butt light, of course light for fucking light. Dude, you guys don't understand. And if you do, but you take 240-ounce beers and you take them to your hand. - You know what's funny? - 40,000 patrons, Edward Ford, no? - Well, fuck that, I'm pointing out, I'm gonna shit. But yes, 40,000, it was only point at me. It was only point at me. - Yeah, yeah, it's only at it. - Whatever. - 40,000 patrons, Edward Fordy, hand, Patreon episode. - 2040s. - Wait, didn't we already hit that? - No. - Well, we're getting, we're very close. - All right, how about we raise it a little bit. - Come on, guys, do you not understand marketing? - No, it's perfect. I don't feel like it's perfect. - I'm gonna make a statement. - Dude, I don't understand marketing. - I'm gonna make a statement right now and if you argue against it, you're racist. For 42,000, for Jackie Robinson. Now, if you say no, then you're-- - What is it, what is it, what is it, what is it? - Now you're racist. - Because what, you're the one, you're making, what are you talking about? - What are you attaching 42? - You gotta bump it up a little bit. - But you don't. We just wanna do it. - I'm gonna have to tape one hand at a time. So I feel like I need my hand. - Oh, listen, you're gonna do it too? - Yeah, I really don't wanna do this. I really don't, he did point. - Why don't, why don't, the idea of drinking six beers in a one hour episode, it doesn't need to be like that. - Let's mull it over, but I do have some sponsors and we'll get some. - Oh my God, we're late. - Obviously enough, yeah, I didn't even think. We do, this is kind of funny to transition into this, but (laughs) Zockdog, okay. (laughs) Zockdog is a free app and website that helps you find and book high quality doctors so you can find someone that you love, okay? They're in network doctors too, so you go on the website, you plug in your insurance and your area and then it will show you doctors in your area and they're all patient-reviewed so you know the ones that are well-reviewed are good doctors, people had good experiences there. And yeah, you know that they take your insurance and kind of go there. I use Zockdog literally all the time now, anytime you have to go to a like an eye doctor or a dermatologist or anything like that, I use Zockdog to find people in my area. So that's what I, like I was used as before, they've been a sponsor, but it's really great. Like I said, it's free, so all you have to do is stop putting off those doctor's appointments, okay? Go to zockdog.com/basement and to find an instantly book a doctor today, that's zocdoc.com/basement, okay? Zockdog.com/basement thanks Zockdog for sponsoring our show. 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Thank you. - What were we just talking about? - I don't know. - Do you remember for the '40s? - Oh yeah, I mean, that's an intense one. - But if you don't want to do it, you don't have to do it. - Yeah, we'll do it. - Thank you, I know that. You made it seem like you didn't want to do it. - Yeah, I don't. But I mean, there's fucking drinking six beers and then having a drive home. I would have to wait like fucking, - We wouldn't drive. - We wouldn't drive. - How would I get in, you send in a car? - No, no, no, no, you wouldn't. - Oh, that's a good idea. - Yeah, how about we have the picky boys pay for that one then? - I mean, this guy. - A blade? - Blade, you want to take a chopper home? - No, I'm not. - We're gonna land it in your backyard? - Flex, that's why his yards so big. - I mean, call me a broke bitch now. - I don't know. (laughs) Maybe one day you'll be able to afford something. - Yeah, I mean, it would be crazy if we get, since we're nominated, like we would have to like, get something, right? We're in this together. - I feel like you're convincing the wrong people here. - Oh, yeah. (laughs) - I'm in support. - Yeah. - If we win. - You know what's funny is there's no one I have to convince, but this guy, - Yeah, because every person, like when it came to like buying like something for like Radio City and MSC Bank was like, yeah. - Yeah. - And I was just like, someone fight back. (laughs) - I was doing the whole like, no, you know. - If we do, if we do the Edward 40 hands, then I'll send a car, if that's gonna do it. - Yes. - Fire, dude. - We will talk offline and figure this out. (laughs) - We'll figure it out. - So we're not committing. - Not committing. - Okay. - What percentage? - I mean, that's a, that I'll be honest. That's a big part of it is like, the idea of driving. - Driving? - Driving, yeah, 'cause I would have to sober up. - Yeah. - Well, then the car. - So 60%? - That's a big part of it. - Well, the car. I mean, dude, I wouldn't say. You're not gonna drink six beers and drive away from me. - No, duh, no, duh, no, duh. - I was saying that you're suggesting that. - What is happening? - Why are you guys pressuring me live on air? - Whoa, who's press? - Oh my God. - I just said you didn't have to do it. - Oh my God, you're yelling at me now. - I said you didn't have to do it. You said me, oh. - I'm saying if it's the driving, then like, we'll send a car. - Yeah, we'll talk about this. - Okay, no pressure. - Ask for a limo. - Oh, do I get to pick the car? - There's be it. - Like if he's like, "I'll get you a car." And it's like a 2002 Nissan Altima. I don't want that shit, you know what I'm saying? - You want like a limo with a cheese pizza? - I would like some. - Like home alone? - I would like something that has, oh my God, a cheese pizza right now. It's the beginning of the year, so I'm eating like a deer. - Yeah. - So. - I'm eating like a deer as well. - Oh God. - And not drinking this. - Yeah, this is not fun. But, I would like something that preferably would have like a bathroom, so like a bus. 'Cause I'm gonna need to piss like a fucking race horse. Or just send me home with jugs. - First of all, I'm getting a bus. That's not happening. - I think a limo is fair. - There's no bathrooms on a limo. - Just take the floor. - But there's enough space that I could piss in a limo if I had to. - Oh, you'd be paying for the cleanup. - But also, first of all, what? You're gonna be on the ground? - No, but God forbid some pee got on the ground. - You could just be like, pull over. - And piss where? - At a place? - My guy, when I have to piss, I have to piss now. - Right. - I mean, you make it here, you pull over, I assume. - You see places? - I mean, I don't, I've stopped drinking water. Or any food. - Oh, you're talking about the way home. - Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. - Oh, well, like, we kill some time, and then you let out five, six peas, and then you go. - I don't know. - We'll figure it out offline. - We don't know. - But 42,000. - How are you committing to that, pump it up? - Pump it up. - 46? - Okay, you're getting crazy. - You gotta give them something to like crawl toward. - We are. - This is perfect. We'll hit it no time. People definitely wanna see that. - Yeah. - It's been a long time since we were drunk on an episode. - Has it been? - I think the last one was the-- - Oh, I drank though. - You drank, you drank during the arties. - His camera's went off and I saw Joe, he's like, "I have his concept." -And Andy and I were just sitting there like, "He's drunk." -I have this concept. -But I think the Scorpion ball episode was the last one we got drunk for. -Yeah, that was-- -No, no, no, the brunch one here. -We were drunk for that? -What do I mean, we drank? -Oh, the beer tower. -The beer tower. -I used an ace. -He did. -He didn't. -I didn't. -But I wasn't drunk on that. -No, well, yeah. -I may have been, I don't know. -The brunch one, I think, that we were. We were drinking champagne the whole time. -Yeah, probably. -But I don't think I was drunk. I think I maybe had like two-- -The Scorpion ball was definitely like-- -That was crazy. -No, I mean, you've had Scorpion balls. You, of course. I mean, you're the king. -Thank you, but-- -You've had Scorpion balls? -I've had one. -Oh. -Okay. -Not a plethora. -Plethora or plethora? -Yeah, you made it sound like a dinosaur. What was that? -It's cooler. -Is it? -Yeah. -Dinosaur's aren't cool. -Crazy. -I love dinosaurs. That's crazy. -Yeah. We're bringing it back. Should we bring it back? We'll do like Patreon goals. -We'll do 40, then 35. -I mean, 50. -We should put out a poll seeing if people want us to do that. Because we have-- -What's the point? -What's the point of that poll? It's going to be-- Oh, you mean bring back the goals? Oh, I thought you meant the 40 hands. -Yeah, I think they would like that. -Because if we put that, you're talking about the 40 hands, put that on a poll? -No, the goals. -Oh, yeah. Why wouldn't they like that? I don't really care. -I wish I was thinking over there. -Yeah. -Yeah. -No, I think that when we did those, did I ever tell you the story of the first goal that we did? So it was the first goal when I first came on as co-hosts to get to 5,000. -Okay. -And it was Joey will pelt me with eggs. -By the way? -Not my idea. -Yeah. I am like, we grew up in the Jackass era, which by the way, they announced a new movie is coming out in June. -What? Do they're still doing it? -I'm their brother. -Yeah, you're the one. -I am there. But I was like, Joey will pelt me with eggs and he was like, all right. And we filmed it in his bathroom. -He just climbed into my tub and he like from standing through them and whether it be because I'm a little more doughy than he is, they weren't breaking when they were all hitting me. So it was fucking hitting me in the chest and it was just not breaking. So he would throw it and it would only break when it hit my arm and the tub where it met. And then we filmed it. It hurts. -He's like, it's unusable footage, it's your point at you. -There was way less of a budget back then, so the video just looked horrible and I'm like, the eggs weren't breaking and I get stupid and he's like, "Are you fucking kidding me?" -Wait, I do remember actually, I saw the clip recently on TikTok where you were like, "If we hit this thing, I'll come in and I'll taste it." -Yeah. -That was a crazy one because what people don't know about that and I did that when that was painful, I looked ridiculous and I had broken out with a rash after because of the adhesive. -All right, this part of my body had broken out with an intense rash and it fucking sucked. It was not good. -I remember taking that tape off was interesting. -By interesting, you mean painful. -I feel horrible for you. -Yeah. -Well, I think what we'll do this time around is how I was on the receiving end of all these like. -I deserve it. -You deserve something. -Yeah. -I think it should be up to aunt to decide what that something is. -Yeah? -Okay. -Be careful. -Okay. -No, actually, leave it up to me. -Oh, I don't know. I already said yes. -No, but you didn't say yes, you said, "Oh, okay." -Why didn't they expect this guy? -He's going to be like, "Oh, a shot collar." -I didn't expect this power. I'll think. -There is an episode I want to revisit that we did that included the shot collar. I was thinking about it the other day. You remember the episode we did where it was like you should know, and it was like you asked me questions about things that you like, and I asked you questions about things that I like. -All right. -If you didn't get it, I got shocked. -Yeah. I mean, I don't trust you. I certainly don't trust you. -Oh, I'm fair with that. -And I said, "You better use more. He's better to have the fucking shot button than I am." -There's nothing I hate more than that besides a tarantula. -Hey, you're about this. -I also bought new shot collar, son. -How about this? -It's weird that you bought them and you haven't used them yet. What do you use it for? -I've used them. -I don't not hear. -Where? -Other places? -In my underwear? -Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. -In my socks? -Don't forget. -Yeah, in his socks. -What are you doing? -Yeah, in socks. -Yeah, in his underwear. -Can you do me a favor? Can we put out a poll? Just ask people what kind of stuff they want to see. -Oh, don't let them do that. -Oh, yeah? -Don't give them the power. -Okay. -We're going to be skydiving. -See, this is why-- -No. -This is why we need you. -Would you skydive ever? -No. -No. -I used to be like, yeah, and now I have kids and I'm like, no. -Yeah. -If I die skydiving, that's so stupid. -That's so dumb. -That's so dumb. -Yeah. -It's tough. -Kids, I keep your feet on the ground, literally and figuratively. -Yeah. -That's an incredible line I just came up with. -You're impressed with? -So I'm bringing the shotguns in next week, so we're saying-- -No. -I also-- -No. -I'm always down to get shocked. -I have no problem with it. -I don't like it. -That was a pretty hard now, so. -I don't like it. -We could throw one on him if he's like. -Okay. -We could also put one on your arm. -Grow up. -I don't like it. -Grow up. -You could do it. -Oh, now who's pressure and who? -Yeah. Pressure guy. -You're a pressure washer. -I'm not a pressure washer. -Yes, you are. You're watching me. -I'm going to start the episode being so ashamed of your micro-dick that now you're going up with me micro-washing in. -The term is micro-piness one. -Oh, sorry. I apologize for your condition. -Two, I don't have a micro-piness, although it's fine if you do have one. I don't know how he feels about it. You could mark me down for $10 or $10. I just pointed. -Oh, I missed it. -It is fine, but-- [laughs] -Don't steal my lock. [laughs] -Shut up. I didn't do it. -Neil's still watching. -Yeah, Neil. -I really hope Neil checked out. -The Vaxi boys may be involved with micro-pinesses. [laughs] -Yeah. -I can't. I don't like the shocking. -I could eat spicy shit that doesn't really, but I mean, that sucks, but, like, spotless me way less than the shock. -What about-- -It's the anticipation that gets baked. -I know what I could do with it. I know what we can get him with. If we mix the shot of olive juice and the lort, what does that do? -You hate olives. -Oh, oh. I don't know why I was thinking olive oil. -What do you think that really makes you gag? -I really don't like tuna fish. -No, you guys are-- you guys got to grow up. That's the thing. You guys got to grow up. You guys got to be-- -I looked at Ant, and you know what he did. -I know you're going to make this up. -Thank you. -I'm not on your side. -Oh. -And I'm getting bullied. -I-- there's bullying. [laughs] -Going on. -Did you not do this? -I sort of did this. -Oh! [laughs] -I sort of did this. -Now who's being the lying teller? -No. [laughs] -I'm sorry. I'm tired. -I feel like we are getting drunker. [laughs] -I know. Just talk about getting tired. -I don't like amateurs or something. -Yeah. -It's going on here. All right. We'll figure it out. We're going to figure it out off there, and we'll get back to you guys. But we're closing it on 40. And we'll see what happens here. We'll be good. See what happens. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Man. Yeah. Yeah. Exciting stuff. Yeah. Thank you guys for joining us. Boy, I appreciate it. And I think is happy about it, too. And-- -But on me. -You tell me. Yeah. -Yeah, what? I'm happy. It sounds like you're trying to convince me. -We're bullying before we leave. No, we are jokes aside, like the nomination for the I Heart podcast awards is because of you guys. And we are truly, truly appreciative and, like, humbled. This all is, like, very crazy to us. And just getting the opportunity to do this is amazing. And then getting the chance to, you know, be validated by you guys is unreal. So thank you guys from the bottom of my heart. Yeah. It's really cool to get that recognition because it's not something that we ever really expected to be honest. I mean, all of this is pretty unexpected, so it's-- but it's a really cool thing. So hope we win. But if we don't, no need to feel bad for us, we're just happy to be in the building, all right? But, yeah, you guys can go follow the show at the Basement Yard on TikTok and Instagram. And-- -You can find it. -Fin ice, baby. -Fin ice. -Yeah. After all the bullying about his-- -You're in with him. -I'm in with him. -You're not-- -I'm in with him. -You know I can't ice skate, so I'm not even anywhere near Thin Ice. That is all. We'll see you guys next time.