#538 - Meet Us At The Bowling Alley

Welcome back to the basement yard, Frank, wearing Pinky Boy's merch. Yeah, yeah, yeah, free plug, you know, support my boys, you know, support my boys. I wear enough Santa Gato's studio's merch, I could try it out, you know, it's the only graphic to you. I've worn it. Where do we get that? Did you have that? He had it in his office and I looked for a new shirt because we're doubling it up today. We'll show them our sausage. He said that there's too many mediums up there. Yeah. Yo, so for those of you guys who don't know, also, I don't even wear a medium anymore. Who's it for then? Tiny Greg maybe, I don't know. Greg's got broad shoulders though, dude. He's like a walking hanger. Like he's got like giant fucking shoulders and he comes to like, he comes to like a fucking up like, what's her name, Jetson point. We're bringing up the Jetsons again, we're back, you like always snuck that in there with much up plum. On the days we double up, I try to like change my shirt or like take my hat off, you know, throw people off. Yeah, you know, and now you've completely given that away. Yeah, it's okay. But I go to the office because we have a lot of shirts in here and they're all size fucking medium. Yeah. And they're also like things that you sold in like 2021. I don't know how those are all up there. Like there's like a pink windbreaker up there that's like a size small. Yeah. That was for Greg. What the fuck is this? Yeah. That was for Greg. Was that like running merch you guys wanted to do? No. We were like testing out products for one of the companies that we were using at the time. And then we were like, let's see these, how these look and then we, I think we did put them out though. I think we did sell like a couple of them. Yeah. I'm sure. I'm sure you did. Yeah. I think we did put them out. But Greg was like, oh, I'm going to get a pink one. But. I like this shirt. I will say very soft. We don't have to. We don't. It wasn't for this. We don't. We can't. We can't get nothing. I'll rip my shirt off right here. He did. Rob is nipple just now. Well, because my nipples have been very tender lately. I don't know what's going on. Pregnant? I'm hopefully not. You know. Well, you have tender nipples. Yeah. Like the other day, I was like, like someone was hitting him with a, yo, like so I'm not like. Yeah. You got a tender. I was at home the other day and I was just like, yo, my fucking nipples hurt. Nice. And I probably should get a checked out, you know, just to make sure it's nothing scary. You want me to check it out? No. Don't touch my nipples. Bull for one. Bull. So like. You pull a lot of them or something? No, I don't. You know how I am, Joey. Yeah. But if you feel them tender, that means that you're like testing out. I mean, I'm like testing it out by like rubbing my hand over it and stuff like that. And they're a little tender. You know what they might be from? Have you been exercising? Oh, yeah. So it could be from just your shirt just grinding down your nipples. Yeah, but it's under this, like it feels under the skin, like it feels like I'm fresh out of ideas then. Okay. Well, at first, and I think I told you, I thought it was like a tear because at first it was only one side. Yeah. I thought it was like a tear in like my, like my pager, but so I stopped working out my chest. You stopped working out your nipples. I stopped working out my nipples. Stop doing nipples. Nipples. Yeah. I just touched. Wait. What's here, nipples? What show was that? Oh, Renton Stimpy. Wasn't there a guy in there that had like giant fucking nipples where I must have missed that on morning cartoons? You know, I mean, Renton Stimpy was like kind of even before our time. I don't know. But like he had like a, like his name was like cinnamon toast man or something or the powerful bread toast. You have long nipples? Dude, disguise nipples were like pacifiers. I'm talking like, whoa. You could bite on and hang like a fish. I would. Not a man. I was confused for a second. Like, you think people can go fishing with their nipples? So probably if you dip them in there, bro, a fish bit my nipple, a fish bit my, like a birthmark underneath my nipple. No, I hit my, hit my foot. Oh, it actually hit my nipple too. I shit, it like sucked my nipple, not sucked my, it bit my nipple. Be honest. I didn't hit it. Yeah. But it's scary because I wasn't expecting it, you know what I'm saying? Like I wasn't like, I was like, oh, so I kind of like, I was getting up on a dock. And when I was like this, it just went, and I was like, yo, that was a little sexually char. I was trying to give that was a weird noise you made there. I know. I heard the audio only listeners. They really want to hear it again. It sounds like you want to hear it again. No, I'm not an audio only listener. I bet you aren't. And then I got on the dock and then I squeezed my nipple and the blood came out. A little blood came out. So you milked your own nipple blood. For its blood? Yeah. Oh. Yeah. That's disgusting. I mean, what am I going to do? But I was like, I can't go back in the works. Now all the, now the show attracted to your nipples because they're going to be like, oh, I saw the blood. All these fucking horny ass fish want Joe's nipple. Yeah, they're like, oh, we could suck it. We could suck his nipple or whatever, you know? Well, I don't know why any, if I'm being honest, I do want to get bit by a, a turtle. I would love to get bit by a turtle. My guy. Not a big turtle. My guy. A nice turtle? Not a snapping turtle. Just one that like, is all right. Is cool. Oh, no. Someone's nice. One that's we're playing. A nice one. So like, let me ask you. Yeah. What turtle? The species? What like, what make a model? I imagine that if they have the power to bite, they have the power to hurt you. So what you think you're going to like, befriend this turtle that I don't just be like, let me just give you a little nib. Yeah, dogs do it. I think dogs are more often domesticated animals than turtles. It's all about the energy you put into the water. I mean, that's what I say. You know how I feel about my ability to not get beat up by animals because I put out a good aura. Yeah. But I feel like, getting bit by a turtle, really? I don't know. I think that would be cool. They have like cool looking tongues. I'd want to get bit by an owl. But that would probably a bad idea too. I mean, they're so like, their beaks are so like, fucking curled in shit. I'm like, what is this? I want to get bit by something now. I mean, we could do that very easily. Like, don't you want to get bit? I want to get bit by a snake, non to no fucking way. Non-vee, non-vee. Regardless of the V, I don't want to get bit by them. I mean, as long as it's not going to like kill me. Have you ever done the fish thing and let them suck your toes? That's like a big thing for like, a fucker, you talking to me? It's like, people like get like pedicures, pedicures, pedicures. I don't know where we're going to get. People like have pedicures. There's like certain spots where you put your feet. Oh, leeches. No. Just give me 30 seconds. You take it too long. It's yours. You put your feet in this like little spa bath. And there's these little fish that eat the dead skin off your feet. Yeah, leeches, I think. No. Leeches are different. Leeches suck your blood. And leeches are like worms. That shit is fucking crazy. And I usually use that as like medicine back in the day. My feet are too ticklish. I wouldn't be able to do that. I mean, I think they, they, oh, when I was in Switzerland, I got a massage and I was fighting for my life. Really? What were they doing? Massaging my feet. Really? And I was trying desperately not to like, that's one of the things I, I think, I guess I missed the tickling thing. I'm not ticklish. I'm very tickled. I'm only ticklish like on my side. Oh. Right here. Just for really? And my feet like at a, you know, I also, I'm more like anticipatory ticklish. That, I will say that I get with my neck, like if I'm coming over there and I'm like, I'm going to tickle me. Yeah. It's not that it's going to tickle me, but I just don't like it, you know, like, give it back up. Get at it. Get at it. Get at it. You know? And then once you get a little ticklish, you're like, get out. And now I'm like, I turned into like an ogre. You know what I mean? Yeah, yeah. I've seen videos of like people doing like, you know, when my, when my girlfriend gets like overstimulated very quickly and it's like, like they're like tickling and she's like, get off me. Yeah. I'm like that. I'm like that. My dad used to tickle me and then while I was laughing, he would just say, fight it, fight it, fight it. And one day wasn't ticklish anymore. What? You're dad? Your dad would condition you out of being ticklish. Yeah. Your dad would tickle you and say, fight it. Yep. Good old yellow. Yep. Wait. Hold on. What was the issue with being ticklish, according to your father? I don't know. Maybe it was like a, you know, weakness and masculinity thing. Yeah. Oh, the fighting's gay, the popular fighting technique of tickling. Like if me and Joe were wrestling, give him a tickle. You know what? You know what? You could get me though. Hold on. If you have a business idea, I'm going to kill myself. Business idea. It's like the MMA, but it's tickling. I have a site for you, Frankie. It already exists. Really? Like, professional. You have a site for him? A professional ticklingly? I could send it to you later. I mean, I don't want any sites for you. Oh, you should pay money for the documentary that I paid for. It was ticklish, but it's like sexual. You told me about it? Yeah. Don't need to pay money for it. No, it's interesting. But like, it's like a fighting league. It's like a competition. I mean, think about it. We got the professional slap league. What's that one called? Power slap? Power slap? Yeah. We got power slap. We got MMA. Something a little less detrimental on the good old, you know, brain health. How about a professional tickling league? Do you think that there's ever been like a torture session where they tickled something information out of somebody? You know what I'm saying? I'm sure there has. I'm sure there has. But like, I'm thinking about it back to my idea, where you like set people up in like kind of like asked to, you know, like, you know, like in order to not be gay with your boy, you guys sleep like asked a feat. So I'm staring at his fucking dog. But like, you guys lay in a situation where like that and you both grab onto a foot and you just tickle until one person gives up. then they have to say. They don't say uncle. They say I'm too ticklish. Yeah, and that's how they lose. Now, is this an idea or a fantasy because those are all aren't all ideas fantasies to some degree? It sounds like you participated. Yeah. In what? In the professional tickling? In the asked-to-foot face-to-foot tickling sleepovers? No, I'm not saying that. Have you ever slept foot to face? I'm sure we have. Have you done that with your boys? No, I think we go just face to face, I think. Whoa, do you see that? Now, that you're inviting energy. Also, I'm a cuddler, so sometimes I've accidentally grabbed a boy. I've slept like in a bed with a friend or something and we just turn the other way. Yeah, you know, I've done that med times. But I've also woken up and I'm like staring at fucking like Espo in the face. And we're just like, well, you don't stare at him in the face because he sleeps like Dracula. That's true. Yeah, Espo does look like a sleep like this. Every wake that I've ever been to, that's how we sleep. That's why on vacations, I choose to room with Espo because he just doesn't move. He sleeps, he takes up the only amount of space he takes up is like the width of his body. Yeah, that's it. And he doesn't move. He doesn't make a sound. And not like you think that this is a joke. He sleeps like this. Yeah, he sleeps like a dad watching his kids like soccer game. He just, he sleeps like someone that is so upset at the ending of like Harry Potter. You know, just like, I don't like that. I don't like it. I like it at all. But where were we? I think it did. I'm not a tickler. I don't, I don't like, I'm not, I don't get tickled. That's the shocking like that you wouldn't, like you'd be like to me, you strike me as a tickler. I mean, when I play with my kids, I tickle. Yeah, I mean, I would honestly say that 40% of my interactions with my nieces and nephews are tickling. Well, the tickle monster is, is a monster as old as time. I'm shocked. Hold on. A new business idea. You need to figure out a way to get ideas across on this show without making it a business. All right, two business ideas. How does that answer? One is an elevated horror movie. We've had a lot of those over the last couple of years. Now I'm in. Now he's in. In the vein of like skin and meringue, you know, weapons, you know, something that is just, it's horror, but a little more symbolic and there's, it's, it's an allegory for something in society. And it's called the tickle monster. Okay. And there is a physical tickle monster, but it has to do with our society's necessity to use humor as a defense mechanism. You bored me. What? I don't even know where we are. Second business idea. Oh, there's two within this. I said there was two. The tickle room. It's like a haunted maze that you get around Halloween time. You know, like the people walk through like Halloween horror nights. But they're all just narrow rooms with people's hands in there and they tickle. Or they walk and their fingertips are out and they tickle in your feet. How much time do we waste on that? Too much probably. Yeah. I think we're going to make more sense to just like have someone walk naked through a room of feathers. Where are we? What's that? We got to grab the wheel right now. I think that yes. Or are feathers even comfortable? No. Or you've seen Casper. Number three idea. You've seen Casper. You remember the scene where she goes through the thing and it like powders her face. That but on feet and it's like a tickle chair. We don't need to keep coming up with these ideas. Why do we need? We feel like we need to do it. A car wash but for feet. That's a shower, buddy. No, but like you turn someone upside down. So like they're in like this position. That's going to be great. I know what upside out is. No, not fully upside down. Yeah. That's pretty good. They're on their back. Yeah. And it's a car wash and it has like the big foam rollers and the. So you know what these are? The big flappy. The big flappy shoes. Yeah. Yes. Exactly. The popper delts. But it's for their feet and it's just a tickle experience. Tickle NYC. TNYC. Well, definitely don't want to. You know what I'm waiting for? I'm waiting for when you could step into like that box that some cartoons do. And then it's up to your neck. And then the thing comes down over your head. And then it cleans you and dresses you and cuts your hair. And then you go to the day and like 30 seconds. There's a guy who like makes videos like that where he like creates these machines or whatever. And like obviously it's not like it's for a video. But it's like his bed. And then his bed like sits up and like making hits him in the mouth. And he like it brushes his teeth. And like, you know, I love stuff like that. Or you ever see the videos of the weird. I want to say Russian. I don't know. But it feels it. They got to see the videos you know. There's just wood white walls. You're like, this is Russian. And it's a guy. And he like attaches something to his head. And he like pops balloons. I know exactly who you're talking about. He has it on his like dick or something. And he's like, I'm he's slapping it. Yeah. I know exactly what you're saying. Does anyone just crush and spaghetti noodles? Yes. I love those. Wait, what? He does that. But it's just like a big thing as spaghetti. And it's just on his head and he just crushes it. Yeah. I've seen someone talking about the world is a weird place. The more that you kind of like start to pick it apart. Yo, please tell me you've seen the guy. It's like an Asian dude. Oh, that does the this guy. Like, was that your. No, no, but he like, he like strange. I call my body. No, get up here. No, no, no. No, that's not what I meant. That's completely taken out of the guy. What's got you talking about? He like strains his face. And he like, his face gets like red. He gets like red in the face. Oh, straining himself. I know you're talking about, but no, that's not what I'm talking about. Yeah, that's a crazy thing to do. I didn't know that. God, that looks bad. I apologize before he even begins. But now I don't want people to take that out of context. I did not like try to do. It's taken out of context. No, it's like an Asian dude. And he like, I guess it's like an art exhibit or something. I don't know. But he has like a. What's the thing called for a bow for a violin, but he'll be playing it and like, like knocks it over. Have you guys ever seen? No, this is that weird part of the internet where Joey just finds things randomly hilarious like the pipes. Oh, the pipes. First of all, I have a pipe saved now. And I use it pipes. The pipes one is such a weird one. It's so good. You know, but there was one. It's like this Asian guy. And he like does these. It's like music. I guess. I don't know what's like him playing a drum. But then he's like on the ground. And he's like rolling around. And there's just people watching this. And like all the comments are like, what the fuck is happening? No, I don't think I've seen that one. Fuck, I wish I I don't even know how to search for that. I'd neither do I because I'm trying Asian guy with bow. Let's try that. I don't I don't know if he has a bow. I think maybe in a video he did. But it's like, I don't know some brand Asian guy wrestling on ground with drums bro with with bunch of shit like he'll have like literally like this and this and he'll just like start doing stuff and people are there like. Yeah. Like it's so it's very like out there art. You see the guy that throws sand in the air and makes animals. Yes, I've seen the people that have it on like a board and they flip it up like that. No, I'm saying he just takes a handful of sand and you can just throw it and make it snake. What? There's some of the shit that you guys like it's got to be AI like it's not real. I don't know that I'm at the level of boomer to the point where I would like fall for AI. Sure. I mean maybe. I did fall for AI once before. Yeah, it was some sort of animal and I was like the guy. Oh, it was like a bird or something like a white bird or butterfly or anything right there. The guy had 15 fingers and I was pretty bad. Yeah, we're it's all right. We're gonna just implode. It's fine. You're trying to look this up right now. You're never going to find a dude because it's unbelievable. Joe, your like algorithm is either European men screaming at the top of their lungs. It really is a lot of that. There's got to be something that feels good about that. There was a time where literally that's not like an exaggeration. There was a guy who just kept popping up. Once you watch a video or you interact with it, if you like it, you just get all of them. Yeah. And it was just this guy. He was a European dude and he would just yell. I just just yell. I do phone. And I would send it to Frank and he'd be like, why are you watching this? And I'd be on the dude's page. I'm like. It was and it wasn't like he would he would just like just screaming. I got my sand guy. You got your sand boy. You want to see my sand guy? Let's show us your sand guy. I'll show you my sand guy. So what do you mean he may you'll see you'll see. So he throws sand and makes animals. Look at that. That's a bird. Snake. I mean, I mean, is that a snake? I can make that. Yeah, that's what I'm saying. Like, the guy does throw something and then so it's like kind of looked like a snake. Yeah, right. That. That's a full. I mean, that's a full octopus. Look, even did the colors of the fish? I don't know. This feels like no, it's not great. I'm not taking anything away from this guy. How many tosses do we get? That's a good question. That was a good watch. Well, watch was it. That's a good spoon. I don't know. I've seen this guy before. I'm saying this, this bird right here. Not this one. This bird is incredible. That's an incredible bird. Yeah, but like, I could throw something and then take a still and find something that looks like it. I'm sorry. Like that. Like, I'm not taking away from this person. I think that's exactly what you're doing. But I don't think it's as impressive as you think. Can you look up the guy that I was referencing so people could see that I wasn't being racist? Which one? Just look up Asian guy straining with bottle caps. What? We bottle cap. He uses bottle caps in a ton where he'll like pop bottle caps off something or like open a corona with his belly. Oh, I know the guy. You know, I'm talking about. He does strain his face. Please, please, please pull it up. Just so for me to protect me and the sanctity of this show and my career. Let's roll the dice. Well, what about people who make their own conclusions? No, no, no, no, come on. What about him? It honestly scares me when I see those videos because I'm like, this guy looks like he's going to die. He does. Yes. Thank God. Okay. Why'd you pick this one? Because I feel like Frankie wanted this one. That's what he told me. I said bottle caps. So it's got his nipples attached to this thing. You're going to tell me see that's the face. Okay. Hold on. Hold on. Let's now. Now. Now I'm going to have to justify my justification. Okay. Let's get something out of the way. One. Yeah. This is not what I was talking about. This is. I know. I know what he was talking about. No, no, no. When you brought it up, I thought you were talking about a different. Another Asian guy. There's a different Asian guy. How many Asian guys are there who actually strains his face? And he's like a jacked guy. Oh, no, I'm talking about this guy. He like, he'll like open, like, he'll like open up beer bottle with his like dick. Yeah. I don't know about dick. Can I take his nipples off the screen? Yeah. You absolutely should know another one on there. I think we're fine. I think we're fine. So those guys I cannot find. I cannot find them. That guy you won't find. Okay. You've never liked a TikTok from him or anything or seen one recently. So. So this is the guy that I was talking about. But no, not originally. So that's the face you thought I was making. This. Yes. That would have been racist. You ever see that kid? So he does that. And like, he just like strains his face and whatever. That's why I thought you were talking about this. Would you? You've never seen the nipple guy? I've seen him. He has like, he like, he does like weird little tricks with like his butt and he's naked. I don't know about butt. Definitely nipples. Yeah. Bellies have been in there at points. Yeah. I mean, he literally had his nipples clamped. Well, this, this is, you know, his sponsors will not be happy with this one. That'll be okay. They'll be okay. We can pat it a little bit. Pat, pat a little before that. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Pat. Have you ever found a concernedly big lint in your belly button? You know what? I actually was thinking about the other day. I love finding crust in there. You know, he's digging for, are you digging in there? Yeah, I can't. There's not really much. You got a deep, you got a cavernous hole. Where is she tight? You could. My shit is like vacuum sealed. Like, if I rub my finger like, if I do this, I could feel like it's sucking me in. I could go in there a little, but like, oh, I can get the whole thing. The whole thing of what? What's the whole button? I could touch the whole button. I mean, yeah, technically I could touch the whole button too. Yeah. Yeah. Like, I can get to every crack, but sometimes I'll get like a flake in there and I like digging that out. I like digging it. I do kind of like that. Yeah. Like, you find like a, like a piece of like a cornflake in there and you're like, I have it in Kellogg's and fucking months. Or it's like, it's like, it feels like earwax almost, like in my belly button. Now you lost me, brother. Well, it's not like waxy. Like, you know, when you get like hard earwax, it just falls out of your ear. Oh, I love that. Like a flake. I love like just sitting here and then just like earwax falls out. I'm like, it did its thing. Like, it did what it's supposed to do. Yeah. I don't clean my ears. What? You're not supposed to. No, you're not supposed to. I mean, I have the camera and I dig it. I know. I don't do that either. I just kind of let my ears do their natural thing. And they'd enough that ever shows. No. If I have blockage, I don't know about it. How do you not? Because I don't go in there. I see those videos of people using like the water and their like ears. And then it's just like the water comes out like fucking like brown. I'm like, oh, can we hook you up to one of those cameras and see what's going on in your head? Sure. I mean, there's not much. How would you know? You don't go in there. That's fair. Yeah. I mean, I would imagine there's not much. If there is, you never like go like this. I mean, I'll go like this, but you never like take a napkin and you're like, go it. And the people that are like, it feels good to like scratch your inner ears. I have never experience. Oh, I have because when I use that camera and I get down in there, sometimes I can get my leg going like a golden retriever. Really? No, not me, man. I'm like a fucking German shepherd. And I'm like, oh, sometimes it makes me sneeze or cough. It makes me cough. Yeah, it makes me really. Yeah. Like I have to cough and like say, we're it's so strange. That is a very weird thing. I know. I never know. Like you know, people like try to clean their throat by like doing this. And like, I saw that in the mask. He does that. He's like, yeah, exactly. Oh, and it's like, I like trying to scratch the back of their throat. Yeah, but I think there's like nerves something. I'm notoriously wet ears. What's up? Yeah. No, I heard that. What's that mean? Get over here. Let's, let's poke around. I don't touch him. What do you, what's, it's like, if you put your finger in there right now, you come out, you have like water on them sometimes. Listen up, brother. You know what show you're on? Just tell us you have wet ears. We need to see them. Are they, is it sweat? I don't know. Wet in what regard? Like if I put a Q tip in there, it'll be wet wet sometimes, but like with wax sometimes, sometimes it's just wet. Sometimes you pronounce the T in wet. So hard. It's insane. We all wet. I don't know if it's an anxious and put it in your ear. And if it comes out and there's no wax, but it would still be wet, it could be what? What is that? I don't know. I thought it was an anxious thing, maybe. Your ears are anxious. You're scared of hearing. I don't know. I just, it's just something I have. I don't know. We need like doctor Mike to tell us what the fuck is going on with your ears. Yeah, we should get doctor bro. We should get doctor Mike in here and ask him a bunch of questions. Yeah, I mean, he would probably leave here, Dumber. That's the goal. We get him in here thinking he's going to teach. He's so like patient that I would make it my fucking goal to make this guy lose his shit. Yeah, I saw like clips of the video where he did a, he talked to like a bunch of anti-vaxxers. Yeah, and he's like, I'm not trying to play gotcha, you know, like he's, he's very like, he's smart. He knows what he's saying. He's patient. I would try to ruin that. And that's why we shouldn't get him or Hank Green in here. Bro, because I would make them hate us. The first thing that the one from that video that I loved was there was one point where he's sitting there in his fucking scrubs sitting across from this girl and he goes, is there anything that I could say today that would change your mind? And she goes, no, because I've actually done the research. I was sitting across from a doctor and scrubs. Once people started doing, once people started a link like doctors and politics, it was gone. Every doctor is fucked from here on out. We should, we should though, we should get back to my interview, like, yeah, why is our boy got wet ass ears? Does that, you know, maybe you stump them. We should start, we should start a series of episodes where we bring in someone that specialized in a field. This isn't a business idea. This is a little legitimately good idea, where we do like 20 questions for Dr. Mike, 20 questions for Hank Green, 20 questions for a mycologist because you're fucking into mushrooms now, you know, and then just get them to the point where they hate us so much because we are so stupid that they can't fucking put up with it anymore. Maybe afraid to talk to them because once you say, oh, I've wet ears, he's like, oh, does your ankle also hurt? Can you do this with your pinky? I did too many questions. No, but see, they're trained. They're trained to not, like, worry you. They're trained to just be like, okay, you know, I mean, if it's something that, like, like, he's not just going to be like, you got a problem, brother. Go right now unless it was like, you have a gunshot wound in your head. That would be cool though. Not the gunshot. Well, thank you. Yeah, I know what I mean. Wet ears, dude. What a random symptom that you have because he would be like, okay, Dr. Mike would be like, okay, wearing a fucking, you know, a Patek watch and he'd be like, okay, it sounds like you have irrefobia, but he's spelled my home Draxikit, you know, and like, yeah, I just don't want to know that. I mean, but what's it going to do when you're day? Maybe. Or I just have wet ears. You've been wet in your ears forever. What if you find out it's just like a symptom of having just giant balls. Yeah, imagine that was his follow-up. Like, wait, do you have fat knots? Just stop me once I'm getting. Yeah. Just be my car. For your whole life, you've had wet ears. Yeah, sensitive ears. Wet ears. Sensitive ears. I got good earring. You've had good earring because the water picks up the vibrations and it delivers them to your cochlear implant. Bro, do you remember hearing tests back in the day? I used to like, yeah. Oh, I thought it was like I'm gonna go to the NBA if I I legitimately thought I was passing that test And they're gonna be like hold on hold on this guy is such a good fucking hero. You're so good at hearing Like yo, there's so many of those that I had the same mentality with where it was like the vision test Where I'd be like they'd turn around and be like yeah, do you see? Yeah, it's like because I thought that being good at hearing they'd be like holy shit wait a sec Give this guy a million dollars. I literally yeah, like I thought they would be like oh my fucking god How did you hear that like I wanted them to say that? Because I was not I was convinced that they were playing sounds like some of them were sounds, but other things were just like Frequent like I don't like they were testing. I'd see if I was not human. That's exactly. Yes, like super human. Oh, yeah, I heard that Yeah, I remember I remember they would just be like did you hear because they were also like tipping their you know Tipping it a little bit where they'd be like could you hear anything and I'd be like yep, I'd just say yes to everything Because like hearing something that's not there is not an issue Not hearing something that is there was what they were looking for bro Also the most uncomfortable set of headphones. I've ever put on it Yeah, they were from like when we first landed on the moon and this machine could talk to someone in Morse code and like Fucking my end mark do it literally was like a fucking World War one fighter pilot Yes, my teacher in high school was doing that test for us like however old you are This is what you should be hearing like this tone. Yeah, this girl We got up to like 50 60 couldn't hear the tones. So and she's a big rave or big part of your like All that and he goes if you want to hear your kids crying when you're older you should really stop doing what you're doing Then she cried and ran out of the class That's funny a shit though. I would have been like don't want to hear them cry. That's why that's why I don't want to be I couldn't be a teacher because that's the shit that I would say you'd be like if you want to not be a fucking idiot, you know There are those videos where it's just like I remember from in like the you know when I was like 22 It was just like people over 30 can't hear this pitch and I was like oh yeah, I can hear it. I always think of a Home alone three, which I don't remember that movie at all, but I do remember having a dog boy that movie Saw track, but I do remember him having a dog whistle Yeah, yeah, yeah, only the dogs can hear it or something. Yeah, then he gets like the dog or something and like trips the guy up I I yeah, I remember dog whistles were a huge thing in the late 90s bro You remember laser pointers the do I think in the world if there was a claw machine in my vicinity and I was seeing a laser pointer in it. I was gonna do everything I could to get it. Yeah Laser pointers were so fucking cool and my parents made it seem that if this thing touched my eyeball I would be blind immediately. I mean, I don't know if that's true But I still operate under I just used a laser two days ago and I operate under the exact same way Did you use a laser to we have a laser level and we were hanging pick. Oh, okay, so I like threw it up Yeah, like a key chain one I Through it. I was shining it into my neighbors house. Yo, I'm serious like I still operate under that same mentality like I'm Literally, we just like no one look at it. Yeah, yeah, you know It's like I never know and Medusa. No, dude I remember like they had like the ones with like the interchangeable the gold ones. Yes with the interchangeable tops Yeah, it would be like a snowman or a star. Yeah, yeah, those things are fucking cool. Yeah, let me tell you laser pointers We used to get one and we would fuck with our cat. Yeah, it was so like she would go and she would go nuts for it I used to have a dog a camera that would have one of those and Charlie would chase it when I wasn't home dude It was like borderline torture like we would shine it on the wall my cat would freak the fuck out and then we turned it off and she would like Where the fuck is that basically seriously what a time laser pointers laser pointers I got I remember the last time I got a laser pointer and we'll get to that in a second But we do have some sponsors on Antonio's laptop because mine we don't know But the first one being square space square space is going to be the website where you build your website So if you have any commerce business or small business big business, whatever it is where you create content You want to build a website professional looking one at that because that is your first impression So it matters to have a good website and square space is going to make that happen for you And yeah, they make it very easy. They have these templates that you can go on to their site You click on the template it populates a website you change out the text you change out the photos And already you're off to the races. You have a great looking website. They also have a lot of tools They're going to help you optimize your traffic let you know worth all the traffic traffic is coming from all of that And it's going to yeah help you out in that in that many ways So right now you can check out Squarespace dot com slash basement and you will save 10% off your first purchase of a website or a domain again That is square space dot com slash basement to save 10% off of your first purchase of website or a domain when you use that code Basement all right, so a lot of people have hit hit me up in the lia been using square space because we use it for square for stuff and You know all the stuff that we build all the websites we've used them for square space. So there you go We also have zock dock zock dock is a free app and website that helps you find in book high quality in network doctors So you can find someone you love and I use zock dock all the time honestly anytime that I need to see any sort of doctor I had to see an eye doctor recently. I use zock dock popman there. I even use my code make them happy. But you go on you go on zock dock you type in your insurance It'll show people in your area not just you know primary care physicians, but also eye doctors, dermatologists, whatever specialists And they'll show their next available appointments as well. So make it very easy to find doctors that are also patient reviewed So, you know, they're getting if they have a good score because patients are having a good Experience there. So stop putting off those doctor's appointments go to zock dock dot com slash basement to find an instantly book a doctor You love today that is zock dock spelled zoc doc dot com slash basement and Yeah, thanks for supporting the show Yeah, we appreciate the love we appreciate the support wherever it may be especially on patreon patreon dot com slash the basement You know, we tell you about it every single week because it's where you can continue to support us and get more of us You can go over to patreon dot com slash the basement You send it for that first year you get these weekly episodes one whole week in advance seven whole days in advance I know it doesn't sound like you know, oh, maybe it doesn't sound like a lot. Maybe that's what you're thinking It's it's a lot you get in on the the he's the ha ha the inside jokes and everything before everybody else Everyone loves to be in an inside joke. I'll get back to one one day So you do that on that first year. It's great second tier. You got exclusive episodes every single Friday You also get access to all their stuff that's on there. I mean, we're talking hundreds of episodes from years past that you will have access to a soon As you you go in there and you join as well as some other stuff like the msg dock that we threw on there We we've gotten so much love and support for it. Mikey did his absolute fucking thing on there So if you want to go check it out go to patreon dot com slash the basement yard We thank you guys to continuing to make you know to to support us on there 2025 was our biggest year yet. We want to make 2026 continue to move in that direction So thank you We love you. We appreciate you and if you want to sign up and save yourself a couple extra bucks while doing it Just go to a web browser whichever one you use and go to the physical website patreon dot com slash the basement yard If you use the patreon app, they're going to charge you a little bit extra because they need to pay the tech overlords that are going to make this Planet possibly just explode. So go check it out patreon dot com slash the basement yard I think you know, you know who those guys are and Sign up or you know gift gift the gift of patreon, you know, whatever you want to do. We love you. We thank you now Yeah, I think we can get back to you Where's it in the last news or the last I remember exactly the last time I got a This is weird the last time I got a fucking laser pointer I got it from a bowling alley claw machine game and I recently went bowling again You went bowling. Yeah, I'm bowling. I haven't been bowling in years dude back And I took the kids bowling. First of all fun is fuck. I like bowling dude bowling. Yeah But yeah, you got very territorial turtle turtle turtle turtle. I got very turtle over like a ball That's what that's my ball. That's my fucking ball. I don't really care that much But I I forgot just how like I don't know how to say this without sounding mean bowling alleys are such a piece of shit But they're so magical. Yeah, like Was it jumping? It was it was a pack day. Oh pack day at bowling alley So sorry. Yeah, that was a wild octave. I apologize, but it was like Really like every lane we just got in there was only one lane. We just got it and Like kids were running around like it just reminded me of the days when we were younger like The carpet was still the same carpet, you know from the fucking 90s. It smells like shit and had blood on it Blood and spit, you know, and then it smelled like cigarettes and you know stale core's light. Yeah, and just like But it's so magic. Yeah, I you know what I really didn't like about bowling Sometimes I would go over to the balls So you see like the small holes and you're like my hands are bigger than that Then you get to a certain ball and the thumb hole is so big and I'm like my dick wouldn't fit in here Like what the fuck I'm not even kidding Whenever I have I remember that as a kid I would always think of your father's thumb because I'd be like this is only for Joe's dad's thumb. So happy you said thumb Why not for a day Oh my god this hole in his big hole in his bowling ball reminds me of Joe's dad's Brings me right back to Joe's dad's god. No Shit, I don't think I've ever seen you dad's day. I'm actually I would remember that. Yeah I think I would remember that if you did - I would remember that. No, I would always that's how I would always see you dad's penis Yeah, I've seen my dad's penis - I think everyone's seen their dad's penis You see, you see the yellow's penis? Yeah. All right, that made it seem like how long ago. I was young. Oh, okay I mean, you just saw it at Thanksgiving. No, I don't know. I mean, no, he the yeah, it was more of an implication of like every kid I Hit the button on here that lowers you a little bit. Oh, but you know, I Definitely like someone like I don't know where to go from The whole really big the dad's dick comments just threw me off completely the dicks are hitting me. No, my dad's dick is in my head I'm thinking yours I'm thinking of yellow's No, no, but I like it is such a like maybe it's just the one I went to it wasn't like modernized yet because a lot of the last time I went to a bowling alley that wasn't this most recent time it was like The lights were like neon and like there's like pink and black everywhere and blah blah blah and like it's a modernized one We're like I like a good 90s early 2000s bowling alley that just smells like shit. Yeah, it looks like shit Yeah, they've got the snappiest hot dogs you could imagine yeah and the staff is near day they hate you Yeah, they hate you're a you're a paying patron in their facility But they fucking hate your guts where the shoes still disgusting the grossest shoes. I've ever put on what is the reason why bowling shoes Need to look like it's got a new Frankenstein version of a shoe It's got to be for something with the floor or maybe they don't want people to steal them. Oh, I just thought of that That's a really good point. It's like they're so ugly. Who would wear this? Oh my god. I know I know I know I know that there is some Bowling alley in New York that's just like we actually all our bowling shoes are Nike probably you know There's a place we went to what was it called like gutter gutter bar. Yeah, that place is fucking awesome because of the hot dogs Also because of the bowling. Yeah, at least it was good. I got kicked out of there once And I didn't know how do you not know you got kicked out? You know. Oh, yeah, you were you were elsewhere. Yeah Upside down. Yeah, yeah, which was an accident, but I was going down the lane. I think oh Like walking down the oh like too far when you threw the ball. Yeah, so I was hitting deck a lot and they I'll tell you something about those bowling lanes. They're slick. Oh, yeah, those boys are slick Oh, I kicked out of a bowling alley's a new low. I don't know if I was kicked out. They were like all right Like they they wrapped me up. We also used to like that was like the first place that like as a crew Everyone was able to go and Underage drink. Yeah, because some of us had fake IDs some of us didn't want it like even with fake IDs Didn't want to test it, but like Everyone went to the bowling alley because we knew the people that bartender there and it was like 18 19 just go and drink. Yeah, go crazy. I remember and I used to go there and drink fish bowls Yeah, yep, and I couldn't even tell you what's in that bitch fish I'll tell you what it was a ball. It was like fucking like a Malibu rum hypnotic You know like high-sea You know what I'm talking about like just like Capri Sun. What was the last time you're at the bowling alley that we grew up at? I actually know and it's not a story I want to tell I Was going for a year. Oh This was happening to you in bowling alley 2014 2013. It was involved with my dad's Your dad's it is a no-way shape or form involved in this night. Um, I saw another man piss on another man In the in the bathroom good like What are you doing with your hair? Just wear all over them. I was with my brother-in-law And it seems like you're just telling the story No, there's a lot. There's a lot that I'm leaving out and I'll tell you why afterward But like one of the things that happened at night was because this is when we would order pictures Yeah, we'd go and it'd be like that was like a big like 20 early 20 tens thing like oh wait I can get a picture of beer and not I just drink out of the picture like people realize they could do that and A picture of like natty light was like 15 bucks and I remember there was a guy there that we know and Another guy there that we also know one of them passed out drinking like drunk in the stall And the kid kicked open the door and pissed all over him That's mean and I was like this is fucking insane and I remember being with with my brother-in-law and just being like We can't ever come back here. It goes down in the bowling alley. I would go back though I don't want to go see where it was happened. I think my sister went and took her kids like recently like within the last two years What you're referencing is Merrick Lane's with while formerly known as Merrick Lane's I think now it's called like Bolero or something like that. I have no idea But it was like a story of bowl at one point It's like 360 some shit. I don't know. Yeah, it was a piece of shit Like are you good at bowling? No, I'm like I Can't spin the ball Okay, but I'll I'll like, you know get some straight lines going. That's good. I can't do straight line I mean no, no, no, no, I can't do spinning. I could do like I throw it Straight hard. I have to do that screw up. He's like when I rip the ball I could I could throw it but like if I'm off a little I will throw it straight into the gutter Yeah, like it either goes directly head on or it goes that way. Yeah, I'm like I don't even know I'm gonna get a couple strikes like I'm not like terrible. I used to bowl like this That's hard. That's bad. Yeah, that's really. Yeah, at least I'm not under you know Are you good at bowling? I'm a two-handed bowler. You're a two-handed bowler. Stop it. That's embarrassing It's like jumping into a pool with your Oh, I kind of throw it like a rugby ball sort of oh Fuck you. I know exactly the type of guy. He is the fucking you know dragon ball Z kid Yeah, I may hall three like I one fingers in the hole and that's the spin and you just are you good? This is you know what he asked if we're good because he knows he's good. I'm okay. I could beat you to what's that? I don't know how bad I am compared to you. Okay That wasn't the lack of confidence probably I you know what no Now if it's a competition. I'll fucking beat you both what a we could do this what what what's the highest you bold? Oh, I don't know 160 something yeah like 150 Maybe I think I've bolder one here's the thing. I'm either getting a strike or I'm not getting anything like I'm either getting a strike or I'm getting five pins and that I'm missing the spare I don't go for spare You know what I mean? I don't even know what I would usually bowl. I mean, I don't think that I would bowl under a hundred That would be that was pretty that's pretty bad if you if under a hundred is you don't really go around on a first date to bowling Yeah, you know, you know, it's always it's bowling is that that's a great first date thing But it's funny you bring that up because I remember like bowling is one of those things that's like maybe not this if you're like horrible at it and Then ice skating I see couples all the time that go ice skating and it's like I was thinking just friends You just can't do it. Yeah. I always think it just why are you here? I think it just friends were you there that what time though we were at Central Park and we went to the ice skating rink and There was a couple there and the dude was horrible and I was like damn this is rough and he eventually hit the deck at one point I didn't see him fall, but I turn around. He's got what? Just rushing from his face. That's I'm like dude get out of here. No second date for that person at all I don't know if it was a first date, but like yeah bowling is one of those things that like you need to confidently bowl a at least 100 to go on a date with someone there you have to be able to like hit a strike every time then but if you're hitting like five gutters in a row like what are we doing here? Yeah, first date you need to you need to pull out like at least a 100 score at least and one of those 100 need to be a strike if not you need to do that. You're in trouble. I Don't know that I skate. You can't ice skate. No, I could stay up. I can't move. That's not ice skating. I Standing I believe I can stand I second stand and I stand. Yeah, I can skate but like not like a fucking Hockey player. I can't get over the fact that you bowl with two hands. Yo, if we were in high school at the same time I would have fucking hated you. That's fine. You would have lost in bowling. Wow. We knew we knew kids that bowl like on their like high school team Yeah, whenever a friend's I've watched them both a 300 see that's I've also seen him bowling a 300 like I've seen him do it And then I saw him doing it and getting like to the last frame and our friend bold and his frame by accident Yo, and he felt so bad. I would have gone I would have been that person. I know I would have no it wasn't on purpose. I know I would have done it on purpose Yeah, you could prank Frank Frank Frank. I would have like you'll me just destroy this for you I mean, but that doesn't make sense. You could go back and reset No, I mean you have if you're gonna bowl a 300 for like the bowling alley you have to like submit Like you have to like show that it actually yeah, you can't just go back. They're computers They can't see like oh so-and-so bowl the 300 if you edit then it doesn't count It does like the I you know what we should do you think they have like if we went to our like neighborhood bowling alley would we be able to see like Any name we recognize bowling a 300 is our friend's name up there I mean if there is one like that then yeah, it is I watch them do it there, but How long do you think it would take you if you were locked in a bowling alley to bowl with 300? That sounds like a picky boy's video if I've ever heard of one Yeah, where it's like Danny's not leaving until he finishes four bottles of Doritos vodka or bowls of 300 That's really hard because you get tired too. Yeah, you're throwing around a 20 pound ball Bar still does shit like that where it's like you got to hit like yeah, they're fucking hysterical our fantasy football Punishment is you have to go to a gym and hit 303 before you could leave Okay, who lost my friend Marco. He will be there all night. Yeah, not good 300 threes is a lot 300 is a ton dude. Yeah But maybe a week A month to what do a boring hundred a month? Maybe I have to be in there for a hundred Yeah, I don't know I don't know that I could ever do that. Yeah, I don't I don't think I'd ever be able to do that I'd reach a point of like insanity that I would just leave I would need a coach also Like if I could be there with a coach I could probably get it done like I have to say like like when when I was one We were just bowling like my hand starts to cramp and hurt like my my like inner palm Your palm. Yeah, like it started to like slap at the thing on its ass. No, but like just I don't know what what I was doing But like it started to hurt and I was just like I can't do more than we played like a game in a half because the kids were like starting to lose it I don't think I could do more than two games. Did you guys get bumps? So the one that we went to it does bumpers for specific. Oh Like it's like it's like computer now. Yeah, so like it'll be like for certain bowlers It'll be bumpers, and then they'll literally like when it's like my turn to they'll just go down which I was like yo I mean, I'll bump. I'll bump it up. You know, we don't need to put them down Dude, I don't even know that I could be you can't even beat like an actual like good bowler if you had We that would be a good video if we had a professional bowler come in and it's like three of us versus him or her Oh, it's like a scramble so like best best best best ball best Lane I'm saying like if it was like a professional bowler. Yeah, and then three of us I mean or two of us two of us and we have to combine to beat this professional bowler She's got a professional. We can do that. Oh, no, we can't do that. Why not an actual professional bow? I mean, I know that's the point. Yeah, that would be funny. We get like professional like High school bowler or something. Yeah, they could be it. Yeah I mean, but a high schooler if they lose they're gonna get bullied for it like let it be like a professional like bowler I think it's good to be bullied That's why I'm not letting you to get tickled To your father full sir your father who's penis. We're not thinking about we're not in one and we're not thinking about your dad's dick Either only Frankie. I'm not thinking about his dad's dick. We do have sponsors by the way That we're gonna get to right now We have hymns. Okay, hymns offers convenient access to a range of prescription hair loss treatments with ingredients that work including choose oral medication Serums and sprays, okay, they are doctor trusted ingredients like finesse right in minoxidil Confer their stop hair loss or regrow hair and as little as three to six months And there's a lot of guys out there that are dealing with hair loss or their hair is thinning You can get ahead of this thing or you can help yourself out by you know Checking out hymns. There's no hidden fees no surprise costs. Just real personalized care on your schedule So for simple online access to personalize and affordable care for hair loss ed weight loss and more visit hymns.com/basement That is hymns.com/basement for your free online visit, okay? So feature products include compounded drug products Which the FDA does not approve of verify for safety effectiveness or quality prescription required see website for full details Restrictions and important safety information individual results may vary based on studies of topical and oral monocstilumphonesteroid and lastly here we have Factor, okay, you want to eat better, but you have zero times zero energy to make it happen factor Doesn't ask you to meal pepper fall recipes. It just removes the entire problem two minutes real food Boom, you're done, okay It is already made by chefs designed by dieticians and delivered to your door You heat it for two minutes and you eat it. So it's basically like doing the the meal prep for you there And they have a hundred rotating meals every single week high protein calorie smart mediterranean Ready to eat salad stuff like that But yeah, you pick what your goals are if you want healthier eating or your Cal you're managing your calories or whatnot And then you are kind of off to the races and you get these meals right to your right to your door So you can head to factors meet factor meals.com/basement50off and use the code basement 50 off to get 50% off of your first factor box Plus free breakfast for one year offers only valid for new factor customers with code and qualifying auto renewing subscription person Purchase make healthier eating easy with factor, okay, that is factor meals.com/basement50off and use that code Basement 50 off to get 50% off of your first factor box. Okay, plus that free breakfast for for For you But yeah, there we go. Beautiful. Man bowling. Who thought this would be a bowling episode. I mean I Haven't bolden. We're talking good amount of Bob. We should go bowling and we could do a standing out city's bowling video We could if we went there on like a weekday There's probably no one in there or we could call and say hey give us two lanes so we could film I'm sure that the bowling alley would be like Yeah What are they gonna say no? All right, fuck you bowling fuck you both mr. Bowling. Yeah, like who the fuck like We have to wear cool shoes bowling. I mean those shoes are arguably garbage I will say this that plays the one in a story that we used to go to those hot dogs might have awakened my hot dog Loving ability really that's where it started those are good hot dogs, dude and Elm Jack and I see one My P. Yeah, I think about it a lot of just hot dogs No, I think about it just hot dogs a week named everywhere you could get a hot dog. Yeah in a story like anytime of the day Damn, I see I pee hot dogs. I remember those I Used it so when I worked at Elm Jack for those you guys don't know Elm Jack is still around. Yeah, it's a little league baseball spot And I guess technically East Elmhurst, right and I used to work That was like my first like off-the-books job as I was a groundskeeper there and I would just Go to the snack stand and just eat hot dogs That's a good gig dude And then I'd ride a cart around and put some clay on a pitcher's mound and I was a fucking happiest get on the planet And I was making $10 an hour. Oh at like 13. I don't know that I ever made $10 an hour You're making it you're making it now. No, you're making it But yeah, any of the jobs that I had was my first actual job before you answer what was your first actual job? I'd love to hear this pizza delivery. Wow, okay, five bucks an hour Five bucks an hour five bucks an hour plus tips obviously and the tips is really what you do it. Did you do well on tips? I did well on tips Would you usually like a good night? Oh, I don't know a good good and how many nights do you work a week? When I was working there, you know, I work. I do things well. It was a that's I was what I'm trying to do I think it was five days a week six. Oh wow. I would be it would be it would be good a hundred maybe a hundred a night Yeah, a hundred you were making fifty two thousand dollars. I forgot how What Frank You were making fifty two thousand dollars. I just completely forgot how stuff. No, actually, I'm not off If you make a thousand dollars a week What will you how many way you were making if you're working? You said on a good night. Okay on a good night. Yeah, all right. So on average, what would you make a night? I don't know seventy six seventy times similar seventy times five three fifty and you would work how many hours? Five four four hours. So so 20 a day times Five so that's yeah, you got it 200. Where are we? What are you all right? So like five fifty a week? Sure, let's say 600 to round it off Why don't you we get me I hope we can do the math correct, but then there's like there's gas if you ever ding your car. It's a very it's a very Well, yeah, and you also get do you have any like fun stories from delivering pieces? On valentine's day someone in a in a robe with nothing underneath Give me a hundred bucks a woman. Yeah woman whoa - She had her thing out, she had her piece out. - It was more like a very long V. - But you saw, you saw like the top of her. - Was she older? - Older. - How old? - Oh, I don't know. - 50s. - Oh, so she was. - She was there. - She wanted the young bull. - I don't know. - She wanted-- - She gave you $100? - $100 bull. - How much did you, what did she order? - Just a pizza, a regular pie. - One piece, did she tip you $100? - Yeah, we know that. - That was Valentine's Day, that's a crazy thing. - And my bugging, that's a crazy thing to get on Valentine's Day. - Pizza? - Brother, how about the naked answering the door? - Yeah, whatever guy, $100, that's crazy. Obviously, we're not dealing with-- - I'm telling you right now, each of the people in this room is gonna get to a point where they don't care about that anymore. - Care about what? - Being naked. - I am definitely going to care if someone's coming to deliver something to my house to put clothes on. - I argue that you will not. - I don't know what you're even basing that on. - Just knowledge of things. - I had a guy, too, when I delivered pizzas that every single time that I would show up to his house, he was in tidy widies and he was sweating his ass off. Like every single time. But he wasn't weird, like it was like it was normal. It was almost like he was like working out, but it was every time I went to his house. - I didn't, I never worked in that industry, so I have no stories about that. - They're delivering pizzas, though. - You see, I've never had any of that. - You see some things. - Definitely. - It was like a local pizza year. It was like a dominoes or something. - Local, local pizza. - Did you ever drop the pizza? - No, I've never dropped the pizza, but one of my friends who also worked there delivered a ghost pizza is what we called it, and he got fired for it. - What's a ghost pizza? - He got to the door, pulled out the pizza box. There was just no pizza in the box. - What happened to the pizza? - He just grabbed a box instead of the pizza on the oven. (laughing) - You didn't tell immediately? - He pertook in some lettuce quite often. - Oh, he wasn't a good delivery driver. - Yeah, he wasn't a catcher, gotcha, gotcha. - Yeah, one time I was walking to the fucking door, and you have like the little thing that keeps it warm, and I'm walking, and I hit a patch of black ice, dude, I went up like fucking Harry and Looney too. - Yeah, dude, I went up in the air like home alone too, and landed on my back, and the whole pizza just flipped over. And I literally just got to the front, and I was just like, here you go, and I just got out of there. I fucking peeled out, 'cause I was like, their pizza is all over the top of this thing. - Oh, it happens. - That sucks. I used to, yo, there's nothing like working in a pizzeria. - You can just grab a slice whenever it's amazing. - Dude, I wish it was so good. - I wish I could work in a pizzeria right now. - I honestly would. We should, you know what? You know how like there was a, I'm coming up and saying I got a studio's videos right now that are really good. What if we just did a day where it was just like, we partnered with a pizzeria, and we just sling pizza, and like make a video out of it? - Oh, I used to slang 'em. And I'm just saying like, if we were just like, yo, we're doing, we're doing this day, we're filming a standing out of a studio's video, we're gonna be making and selling pizza at this pizzeria in a story. - Now we're getting crazy, this is illegal, Frank. - Why? - Because the place has to, like, yeah, there's like, you know, they have, there's like health codes and shit. Who the fuck is gonna come for a little, you know, mom and pop pizza shop? - I don't know, I don't know that you could just be like, oh, we're just gonna sell pizza that we made. - No, add a pizzeria, like, we make it, like, there. - Sure, we'll go through a couple hours of like, food training. - So you get hired by the pizzeria for a day or two? - Yeah, dude, with the pizzeria that I worked at, like, the last pizzeria that I worked at, the guy who made the pizzas was so little, this little Italian guy, I think his name is Mario. - Honestly, the shorter the Italian man, the better the pizza. - Oh, yeah. - Yeah. I, he used to have me, like, put the pizza thing because he couldn't reach the store. So I'm like, I'm basically doing every job in here. - All right, Peter, that pizza place. I love that place so much. - Which one? - Go. - Oh, Portabella. - Portabella? - Yeah, I putabella. - I'm sorry, Antonio's, that's like a restaurant now. - You worked at two pizza places? - Yeah, I worked at Antonio's, dude. I, like, when they first opened, I, like, applied for a job and I got it. - Antonio's at Good Pizza, too. - I think they're still there, are they? - I think they're like a restaurant. - It has nothing to do with you. - Comes with the name? - I hated working there. Never, I'd take it back. - Definitely comes with the name. - I did everything at that place. I was like, bagging shit in the basement. I did, one, one of the best part about that job, though, was that one of our chefs used to make these things were dessert, they were little cheesecakes. I used to have fucking slam 'em when I was looking. - Do you subscribe to the mentality of, like, every person should do, like, one job in the service industry in their point in their life? - I think so, I think it gives you perspective, you know, with what people have to deal with, 'cause if you don't have that perspective, then you never, like, obviously, this is obvious now, but, like, you never, you don't know what it's like dealing with people in that way, because no matter what, you're kind of, you're representing this place, so you have to have a wall, and people just, like, beat you up all day for the most part. - Like, they're ordering stuff and they're very, like, entitled in the way that they order things, and they're a little-- - Retail is too, these people, like, they believe that you are below them because they are buying something, like, they think that they're buying something, and it's, like, paying for your salary, you know, or anything. - Yeah, or, like, you walk in here, I don't work for you, I work for the store, I'm here to help, but I don't mind-- - And I feel like, I feel like, with food, I can imagine it's really bad, because it's, like, there's, like, a sense of, like, specifically with, like, most of the restaurants we're going to are, like, you know, like, owned by a family, you know what I mean, like, yeah. So, like, there is a sense of just, like, this place keeps the lights on because I am here. Like, you know, like, I am a constant patron here. So, like, they feel like, cater to me, and that sucks. - You're also dealing with hungry people, and depending on the person, that's, like, the worst person to deal with. - Yeah, hungry, like, I legitimately know people that, like, when they're hungry, they are, like, angry, like, angry, like, the saying. - I don't know if this is a hot take, and I'm probably gonna just grow up. - I know, I agree. - You know, I'm, like, no, but people, like, I feel like I've gotten flipped the other way. People like, no, you don't understand. It's like, well, everyone gets hungry. Like, just, like, relax. - I think people probably have, like, undiagnosed, like, blood sugar things that, like, that is explaining why they react certain ways, but, like, blood sugar made you an egg, like, a root person. But, like, something, like, where they need to keep their blood sugar at a certain level, or, like. - Yeah, I still don't think that you should be rude. I don't care. - Yeah, I mean, I, I'm not, bro, I'm not testifying it. - One time, we had this couple come in, and they ordered, like, a gluten-free pizza. And this was, like, when gluten, the gluten shit was very new. And, the guy just started freaking out in the restaurant. Like, there's mad people around. And, like, we try to give him his pizza, whatever. I wasn't involved in this interaction. But, I was like, yo, why is this guy bugging out? And, they were, like, giant crackers, essentially. Like, the gluten-free, like, crusts. And, the guy just started screaming. And, I don't know what was going on. Maybe he thought the pizza we gave them wasn't gluten-free or something. And, he goes, no, I need to know. No, she will die. And, he starts screaming. She will die if she eats this. I was like, whoa, which I get the concern. But, yo, not a screaming in the fucking restaurant. Like, owning a restaurant is such a cool, like, concept for, like, 0.5 seconds. And, then you think a shit like that. And, like, immediately goes out the window. Well, I got, I told you this story. I think I told this story in here in Mad Times. But, I got in trouble because, like, I'm not good at that. Like, I'm good to a certain extent, but when people get a little crazy, then I'm like, okay, I can't. Now, you're taking me out of this thing. But, a guy called me and was just like, our, our, the soda you gave us is, is warm. And, I was like, oh, I'm sorry. Like, we're very busy right now. So, we're probably didn't spend a lot of time in the fridge that we have right here. So, whatever, like a too little bottle. He's like, yeah, what are we going to do about this? And, I was like, I, I'm not, I don't know. I don't know what to do. Like, I'm sorry, like, you know, it's blah, blah, blah, we're busy. And, he's like, yeah, I, uh, I prefer my soda to be cold. And, I said, put ice in it. And, my manager grabbed the phone from me. Because, I was like, bro, what the fuck do you want me to do? I'm fucking working here. Yeah, I, I get what you're saying. Because you're being treated a certain way. But, like, I also kind of understand where that person is coming from. Like, if I'm ordering something and it comes not in the, like, in my, whether it be in my head or not, in the condition at which I think it's going to come, or like the, it's a two liter bottle of soda, regardless. Like, it's not about cold. You get it at this grocery store, it's in the fucking aisle. Yeah, that's a good point. That is a good point. But, nonetheless, like, the quality is something like, when it comes not good, like, it's like, oh, well, like, this is not what I wanted. I mean, it's just, what would you have in there? Yeah, I'm going to say something real honest, Versailles. You ready? Yeah. I think that the, like, every restaurant now, you could basically order for takeout sucks. But, I fucking hate that concept. What? Certain foods just doesn't travel well. So, like, back in the days where, like, the only, like, stuff you can get for delivery was basically, like, fast food. No. But, like, back in the day, the only food you can get for delivery was, like, Chinese and pizza. That was it. Like, if you want it, like, tacos don't travel well. Like, Italian doesn't travel well. Yeah, but you're supposed to know that and, like, think about that in not order. after that then. - Yeah, but now every restaurant now has the option for takeout and I feel like that sucks. - Well, what sucks if they have the option? - Yeah. - Why does that suck? - Because I don't want them to have that. (laughs) - I'm serious because like certain restaurants you used to be like no, our food doesn't do well when it travels so like it's going to make us look bad if you order for takeout so we're just not gonna offer that. - Sure, I don't, I mean, I think it would, unless you're like a fine dining restaurant, I think it would be foolish to be like well, people order, is about people who consume. - So if a restaurant had steak that delivered, would you order that for delivery? - No, there you go. - Because why? - It doesn't travel well. - There you go. - You crushed it, you're crushing it. - But then, but then, but how is that, but how? - But then they should be like we're not doing that because you, yes. (laughs) - Honestly, I agree. - The world was better when restaurants were just like no, I'm not fucking doing that. I also am a little, I guess if I'm ordering something, I'm not expecting the full experience anyway. - Yeah. - Like I don't care. - It's so tough because like I have ordered like for delivery. - Your food's not, yeah, seems like it. Maybe a little. - I don't think I'm a food snuff, but like (laughs) if something comes through like, and it's not good, I'm turned off to that place. But I also, at the same time, I'm like, oh, I don't think that was a good representation of what I was trying to get at it. - Well, I can picture Frank so clearly getting food that he ordered. - And taking a bite and going. - Dude, yes. - It's fucking soft. - Yo, that's, I'm not, if that's, if that's where you define as a food snob. - Yes, I am. - No, no, no, no, no, like I could see that. I could see that, but like, I guess, but like, there's certain food, like, let's use a fucking, let's use like tacos as an example. There are a lot of places that do like quesadillas, quesadillas supposed to be like kinda like a layer of crisp and then like the cheese and the fluff on the inside. You get it and it's all fucking, 'cause it's like, it's staying in this thing. - I understand why it happens. - Okay, but that's important. Because that's like buying a fake Gucci bag on Canal Street and being like, it's falling apart. It's like, you're fucking got the best one. But then I don't like, I am saying that it will turn me off to that place, but then I think like, oh, that's probably not what's representative of the food that they're trying to make. So like, I kind of wish they just didn't do that. - You know what's, you know, it's a good judge of a place when you, not like a fast food, but a restaurant burger and they send you a burger via takeout. If they put the bun separate in a separate container, that's a good place. I have come across zero places that have ever done that. I've had one place that doesn't, that's a good place. - So it doesn't, so does it get soggy? - Yeah. - I opened it and went, oh, this is the best place ever. I had the opposite effect. It's like, oh, those places, they care. - No, I don't really care much about that. - Right. - Because like if it's bread, it's soft. Like it's, in my opinion, a good wet burger is gonna get the bread soggy anyways. Like I don't need like, you know, like a super crisp and crunchy. I'm also weird with burgers. Like I kinda don't like them to be too tall. - Yeah, who likes that? - Like when, like, listen, I know it's a good bread, but like when people, like, have you guys seen those TikToks where it's like people making fun of like millennial burger joints? - Yeah. - And it's like, they're not called appetizers. They're called shareables. - Yeah, yeah. - handhelds, you know, like, everything is like red brick and everything and exposed just like this. - My exposed venting, but when it's like a burger and then it comes on a brioche bun, that's like, it adds like six inches to the thing. - Yeah, I'm good. - I'm like, come on, dude, just give me just kind of like, again, and maybe it's because I grew up going to like, diners that were kind of a bit of a hole in the wall sometimes. It could be a flat sesame seed bun and I'm fine with that. - Yeah. - Like when you, when you fuck up the ratio of meat to, of meat to, to bun, fuck you. So if you. (laughing) When you order like a pasta, right? And it shows up and it's not hot. Not that it's freezing, but like, are you like, this is fucking bullshit. - No, I don't think, like temperature, I mean, I'm not pumped about it when it comes cold. - Yeah. - You know, I am, like I hate to say this though, I do like, leave reviews and comments. - Oh no, you're a young guy. - Not a young guy. I'm not, I haven't done it a lot. I've done it twice. And the only two times is because it was the same restaurant consistently. So then I was just like, I'm done. - You fuckers. - I left a review and I deleted the app. I didn't like wait till someone hit me up. I left a review and I just said like, yo, listen. - I'm done with this fucking app. - I'm done with this place because like, their food was great and now I'm getting the food, like I would get like wings, undressed and sauce. I would get food just fucking cold. - Yeah. - You know, I got like, once I got like a smoothie for myself or becker or something and it came like completely like, you know when smoothies melt and they separate? - Yeah. - Like that. So like, at that point, I'm not being like a, you know, this place needs to close. I'm just saying like, yo, my experience was disappointing. I'm not asking for anything, so buy. And I fucking, and I delete the app. I'm not like a yelp or that's like, I'm gonna tear these people apart. They need to make it right. - Yeah. - You said there was two. - They were both for the same restaurant. - Oh, I told you about different things. - No, for the same issue. - Have you ever left a review? - No. - But yo, 'cause it's a question. I get why like, like fucking cereal yelpers are an issue. I get that. But like, with like these food delivery apps, isn't that not like contributing into some degree to like the success of the app or the restaurant? - Oh yeah, I mean, I just wouldn't. That's the only difference. Like I think, yes, 'cause I would say that like, I'm okay with people giving a rating of the restaurant. When people write words, that's nuts to me. - Yeah, I always lean towards the, oh, you probably did something wrong. But like with anything, I mean, it's not, it's not exclusive to restaurants. Like I think like any sort of review outside of like, I guess technology or something, or I don't know. Like I think, I don't know. Maybe I don't even mean that. I don't know. 'Cause like I definitely, like I'm not even gonna lie. Like I feel like PRG, post-review guilt. You know where it's just like, who do I think I am? What am I doing? But then I come back to the like, oh, but this is what like, this is the feedback that people need. Like imagine a world where like, we're doing the podcast or you're doing, or we're doing comedy or whatever. And everyone's just going like, they either tell you it's good or they don't say anything. You would want to be like, yo, someone needs to kind of be honest and real with me a little bit here. And I'm not doing it for this sense of like, getting something out of it. But like, and I'm not doing it a lot. I've done it twice. But like there is a justification in my head that like I am doing something that like, is beneficial to someone to some degree. I just, I guess it really just depends. I mean, the general feeling of people who leave like, detailed reviews is like very pretentious to me. Like, you know what I mean? Like, there's like this air around people being like, oh, well, I had a bad experience at this restaurant. So I'm going to write a bunch of, you know, whatever, like, oh, the waitress didn't feel our waters or whatever, like little stuff like that. I mean, if I go to a restaurant and I don't have a good experience, I'm just not gonna go back. Well, I've never done this for going into a place and dining and then leaving. Yeah, I've never done that. And I don't see myself doing that because yes, I'm under the same mentality. If I don't like it, I'll just be like, I'm never going there again. Yeah. But like, even that is a form of a feedback. So when you, when you, I was furious and I needed to let someone do it. But like, what, my point is like, what is, what is the thing that you're trying to do with the review? You're trying to be like, fuck you, right? Not fuck you, but just like, I don't know what is going on. But this was my experience and it was difficult. You could call them? No, no, it was through the app. Oh, I would, I would much rather call them and be like, bro, you guys fuck this up. No, because in my opinion, if I'm doing that, then I'm like, then I'm talking to all representative. And it's like, it's either that person's just to be like, oh, this isn't for me, whatever, I don't give a fuck. You know, like, when it gets like, do those like food apps, like whoever runs the restaurant, the manager or whatever, could see that and should be like, all right, this is, we could use this to like, be better. And like, and eventually they actually emailed me. Like they are, you're trying to help. I mean, he's a hero. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. You're trying to fix the establishment. I'm trying to be a martyr. And like, if this is the cross I must bear in order to make somebody else's dining experience better. Yeah, but you weren't doing that. I'm just going to pull you into this. So at our diner, we read a review. And the review just said, these are your people. So you can't judge them. No, no, don't fucking your people. Don't fucking your people. Because I am not doing this. I've done it twice in fucking years of having these. You won't run, you wrote one review. You wrote them all. The fuck you, I want to kill you. The diner, the review said, the eggs were all right. But the waiters had a fat ass. OK, come on. And something like that is like, well, unless it's for a joke. I don't think so. I mean they don't even fucking loop me in with those people obviously you're not Loved in with those people like I'm not sitting there and I'm being like yo This was my experience whether it be because like I'm not saying it's like Someone needs to be held accountable like those are the people that pissed me off. I knew someone that in college and They like got fired from their job for that right? Yelp review I think unless it's like a prolonged issue. I think that's fucking crazy But like if you're writing a review whether it be for a restaurant or for Whatever it shouldn't be just like you should be ashamed you someone needs to be held accountable. It should just be like yo I got my food. This was an issue that happened with my food. I don't know whose fault it is But like maybe you need to address this. Yeah, that's it. You know, I think like to be honest again. I'm not a serial reviewer But like I think that that does have value to some degree if I mean if I was a business owner of a restaurant or something I would value that shit you but if Like yes, but also like this is like and this is all the other This is why I just don't partake is because I don't know how much of an effect I can have It's not even about I don't want because you might not ever see the fruit of your labor like you you know But I'm saying like if the place got shut down because people are like you know because that happens to places Especially now with like TikTok and the food reviewers people going to a place they have a bad experience to make a video about it The shiko's viral this place is fucked now. Yeah, because you because you had a bad experience and like all the food was not a lot like this is Happened I've watched it happen to certain places where like an enforcer goes in and like either tells a story that isn't true Or talks about you know whatever or like oh this is definitely like not what they say it is or whatever and the people have to defend Themselves and hope that they're seeing as many people as them and like that's why I'm like when it comes to restaurants because by the way when it comes to hotels Or it comes to airlines or whatever I'm fucking in that email letting them have it because who cares? They have what okay? What is the difference between that and what I'm not shutting down the airline? They're just giving me shit for free if if if my one review for a food item shuts down the restaurant There is a bigger issue at play. I mean, I think that restaurants are just there's way more turnover in the restaurant business Then there is with the hotel and like because it's not boutique hotels. It's like a hotel and an airline like a restaurant If I go in there and I write a review and I'm like there was a fucking mouse in the soup But I'm not putting it on for parade like I'm not taking my review and speaking like everyone look look look look I'm not accusing you of that. I know that's why I stay out of it, but but even even like I know you're not accusing me of that But like in that example like you can kind of wade through some of the bullshit like and like yeah It's as a as a normal average consumer can kind of wade through way through some of that bullshit But like it's almost subjective if you're like yo like let's use chicken wings in example I got chicken wings. I I got the Buffalo sauce. There was no sauce on these wings. That's an objective issue and like that Something that someone can pinpoint and should be like guys as a staff. Let's just do this a little bit more Better so the thing the thing that would cross my mind is like the buffalo buffaloing show up without the Buffalo sauce I don't think that's indicative of the restaurant so like me leaving a review and being well. So is it indicative of Like I think it was a mistake. Yes, and and the mistake is Made by whom yeah, but if I write a review of saying like my wing showed up without the sauce Then doesn't that make other people reading that go oh Either this restaurant is careless in the way that they packed our food or this is how they serve their wings well to be clear I it happened several times and then I left a review because I was just like all right I thought maybe the first time it was a mistake. Maybe the second time it was a blunder the third fourth fifth time I would say that that's just how they're served probably no Dozens of times before you know what I mean like I would just call them and be like yo you guys gave me wings And there's no sauce what's going on here like can you either send the sauce or you know refund? Yeah, but that's not but if it's through like door dash or or Uber each or something like that Oh, they're even better. They send it like this. Yeah, they refund you quick. Yeah, you go. That's what I'm saying like I would rather that in that that's what I am saying there Yeah, so like in those circumstances like That's that is an objective piece of like oh something did what mistake was made. Yeah Let's let's let's fix this. Well, that's the difference if a mistake is made I'll call the restaurant like you guys made a mistake and we'll figure out if they can either refund something or send it You know, I forgot this or whatever done that there was times. There was one time I saw my pizza delivery Be coming down the block and it was this person on the back of a Vespa and the pizza just horizontal Vertical oh, oh like like they were holding it under their arm like a briefcase It was just up again, dude. I saw them coming down the street. I opened the door again I said guys order another pizza They came box so in a situation like that. Well, it really depends where I am to like if if I'm ordering pizza and It's just me. I'm gonna eat whatever shows up. Okay, I wish I hope I still have a picture But if it was something like that I would call the restaurant and be like hey like Your guy served me a pizza that was completely up against the side of the thing like can we get another pizza going and like make sure it's straight This time and I would just wait for it But if I leave a review and be like this my pizza showed up and it was fucked up and blah blah blah That could potentially like people are gonna read that review and go. Oh this place serves fucked up pizza I'm not going there. I found the review. Oh My god, please read it. Please and I just read it and I sound a little more country that I think I can read it I'm gonna read it. I'm gonna read it. Okay. I'm gonna read it. It's from January 10th of 2025 Oh, we're coming up on the fucking anniversary. Yeah I put the thumbs down didn't like The order was for a 15 piece wings buffalo and a milkshake. Oh, we're going big. You go big you go home Yeah, you know and here's what I wrote kind of milkshake Probably I definitely wasn't for me because I don't I'm not a big milkshake guy. It was probably for Becca. So chocolate nice And I quote I'll obviously be omitting the name of the place. Yeah Second time in a row that they didn't sauce the wings Didn't sauce the wings Verb, it's been a recurring issue and I gave it one more shot after last time So far so good. So good. Okay. Okay. Here's where this place has had a steep drop in quality And the place won't let me request additional sauce Because that's what I tried to do I tried to like go like under like special you know how it'd be like special requests Yeah, you get some of the places. I'll be like they don't take special requests. So Unfortunately, I'll no longer be ordering from In this or name of this place. I would give it zero stars if I could Cuz like the lowest you could give it one star. Yeah, the fact that you made me give one is sickening That's not that bad. That's not that. I found the other one Is the other one man? It's for a Spanish place. Okay Empanadas and you could fries were solid, but everything else was flavorless and bland That was bad. Who does that help? That was content That was that. That was I'm a bitch there. I'll agree on that one. That one sucks That one sucks. Everything else was flavorless and bland Um you could fries really unbelievable. One of my favorites They So they they had reached out to me which the Spanish place no the the other place The wing those sauceless place sauceless wing. Yeah didn't saucy wing and I they had they had reached out five days later But I deleted the app and I swore off I would never use it again. Right Not ten days later. Yeah, yeah, yeah They wrote oh, so this is terrible Your feedback is what makes us better at the end of the day With your feedback. We're going to add extra sauce as an option Not getting your wing sauce is concerning and we will address it with our kitchen Here's some money if you want to order again from us and they sent me How much did they send me 25 dollars They did the right thing. Did you? I honestly, I don't think I've ever ordered from them again. It'd be so funny if they kept your name you did it again No sauce. So that I was that place I would have sent up 15 chicken bones. I was gonna say I would have sent uncooked chicken It would just be no meat no sauce just bones. She was bones and the sauce. No meat So 15 sauces. That wasn't too bad, right? No, no, no Well, I do know people that are like I know like I said I know someone that got fired from a yell for view And it was the funniest thing I've ever read The review was just like we came in like an hour before closing and this person was pissed so they threw the menus at us Shit like that. Yeah, they deserve to get fired that kind of stuff like I think is fine like things that aren't a mistake You know like if the food is cold or you forgot something. I think those are mistakes people Mis-treating you like I agree that's totally different the only place That the wait staff has like their bullet proof is at diners These people you they should they rose honestly. It's almost better if they're more miserable and they hate you Because if you get like a happy person at a time Diner not getting the diner sucks. You need a what do you want? We don't have that shit. We don't like and I'm not talking like Dicks last resort. Do you remember that place? No, you remember it was like a chain restaurant like hooters were like you're walking in and the people are just like all right What do you want small cock and they bright like fucking like you know loser loser on the hat and put it on a person? Yeah, I'm not talking that I'm talking like a legitimately miserable person That's work at the same diner since the fifties. Yeah Put a cigarette on me, but give me my lumberjack special, you know what I mean? Humberjack special, what the fuck is that? Is that like a lumberjack breakfast? Is that like pancakes pancakes sausage links bacon eggs toast? See now I'm hungry. It's the new year I mean now I got to go now. I mean on my new year's resolution kick and eating like a fucking deer So any talk about pizza and then this and bowling now I'm hungry. Oh get this kid a bowling out here. Let them run wild But yeah, that's all we have for today's episode folks. Thanks for tuning in Frank. Where can they find you the Frank Alvarez all over social media and then patreon patreon.com/thebasement yard and Yeah, and working then out of chance you guys can go follow me at Joe San I got to go follow the show at the base Me on a TikTok and Instagram that is all I'm kidding. Do you want to say where your thing is just kidding again? You can find and at TBYToremerch.com TBYToremerch.com yeah, yeah See you guys next time