53 - Sophia Margarette To

(upbeat music) - Welcome to the Bad Vitch Bible. (upbeat music) - Bad Vitch Bible. - Hey girls, Kate's amazing. Welcome back to the Bad Vitch Bible. I am so excited about my guest today because she is a yapper. A lot of you have seen her content online, but it's the first time I think that she's gonna be sitting down in this format. So welcome Sophia Toe. - Hi, thank you. - Is that your name? - Toe. - Yeah, Sophia Margaret Toe. - Toe. - Toe, it's like saying "thaw" but without that age. - Okay, so it's like "talk." - Margaret. - I love that, but welcome. Thank you. - Is it your first time doing a podcast? - Well, pretty much. Yes, I think it is my first time doing a podcast. - How's it going? - I'm pretty excited about this, especially as a psych major because it's like a very psych thing to be talking about like your background, your childhood and everything. - I didn't know you were a psych major. - I am, yeah. Some take you as my pre-med, interesting. Okay, we're gonna get into that in a second, but we do like to start at the episode by asking whether you're a star science or like you know your son rising moon or even just your main one. - Okay. - Yeah. - I'm not that much of an astrology girl, but I am a Gemini. - Okay. - I'm not sure, but I do know like what time I was born. - Okay. - I know where, like you need that info, right? Like what time you were born? I was born at like 7.41 pm. So I don't know if you guys could like - I'll search that later. - Yeah, you guys could check that out for me. - Okay. - But yeah, I'm a Gemini. - Gemini. - I think we'd get along 'cause my boyfriend's a Gemini. - Ooh. - Yeah. - Okay, what's this birthday? - June 10th. - Oh, it's a pretty cool time. - Yeah. - And I didn't - Same kind of get along with Gemini 'cause my mom's a Gemini and we're always. - When's your mom's birthday? - June 7th. - Oh, okay. - And I don't know, it's like sometimes, I don't know if you know like you've heard of this, but like sometimes people fall in love with people that are either super opposite of their parents or super like their parents. - And they're always, - Okay. - Yeah, my mom and I have a high and low relationship. - Obviously, I love her and adore her, but she's my mom at the end of the day. - Yeah. - So, I know. - No, same, same. - Yeah, actually. - Yeah. - So I never thought I'd end up with a Gemini and then I did. So nice to know you're a Gemini also. - Yeah, wait, so like with your mom, it's like when it's good, it's so good, when it's bad, it's like so bad. - Oh my gosh, me too, girl. - But I don't know if it's 'cause I'm also a Leo and I also, right? - Oh, Leo. - Yeah. - And I'm very reactive and when I react, I really, I'm not one to hold back. I guess I'm not one to not speak my truth. - Yeah, I always will. - As usual, though, yeah, thank you. They do have this misconception, though, that Gemini's are too faced. - Oh, I was just about to say, okay, but before I get to the whole Too Faced thing, like most people who know me as, like I mean who know me well and know that I'm Gemini, they say it makes a lot of sense because I'm a rapper, I'm very outgoing, but also the whole Too Faced thing, yeah. It's kind of crazy to me because if anything, Too Faced people are like my pet thieves. I really do not like Too Faced people because if people could like, especially like your so-called friends, because if they could like say bad things about other people around you, then they can do that to you. - To you. - Yeah. - I don't think I say that Gemini's are too faced. I think that you just have different sides of a personality that are more evident. I would say as compared to others. - Right, but like there's still you. - Exactly. - Yeah, you're not being like a fake person or like somebody totally different around like, yeah. - 'Cause nobody's just one dimensional, right? Exactly. - Yeah, it's possible. - A lot of things make up a person, that's very cycle. So yeah, a lot of things really make up a person. - Yeah. - Traumas, you know, or time just aging, like you're environment, yeah, really a lot. You could be one way growing up and then people, you know, they always like to throw that line on. Like you're not gonna have your Gemini, right? - I grew up bitch. - Exactly, no, yeah. - I was standing in the mind, right? - No, that's actually something that I think about a lot, especially because I kind of like accidentally grew up on social media. - Yeah, how long have you been doing social media? - Well, it's kind of like a long story, but I don't know how I could tell it in a very summarized way, but you know like, "Frenster." That was the thing when I was a baby. - Yeah. - I think some of my followers know this story already, but I was on "Frenster." - Yeah, my mom was on "Frenster." - Yeah, because I have pretty young parents. Like, I was a baby and my mom would like post on "Frenster," because like she liked to dress my brother and I up cute, but like kind of like for fun. Like she would post like, you know, like a typical face but mom's like, "Oh, my kids are so cute," or whatever. And then she accidentally grew up following. And like social media, like growing an audience wasn't even a thing back then or being an influencer. - But like, if you had the following on "Frenster" back then, you were the shit. - Maybe. - No, like it's hard then, like you can't just. - Yeah, 'cause it really wasn't a thing back then. - Yeah. - Like just grow an account. - Yeah, and then like when I got to Instagram, like some people from "Frenster" started following me and then besides that, like I continue dressing up because I really like doing that on "Frenster." - No, on Instagram when I got to grade school. - Yeah, elementary. And then like I really enjoy dressing up. I like taking photos, like just for fun, because everyone else in like my year at school was doing that too. - Where would you upload it? - Just Instagram. - Instagram, yeah, at the time. It was Instagram first. - There were other apps here, remember? Like we hearted it or like on the book. - And you know I never had those. - That's what I was asking, 'cause my time. - Yes, but we're not that far apart. Grabbing a mind. - No, no, we're actually not. - I was like, 'cause we could like pass off as like the same age. - Yeah, but at the time to say, there were those other apps or like other websites where you could just post your outfits, like look book. - Oh, wait, that's so cute. - Yeah, and people would blow up for their outfits there. That's why I was asking, or like Tumblr. Like people would be, I never thought to have Tumblr, but I think some people my age got to have Tumblr. - Yeah, wait, sorry, like off topic, but did you ever have like mall world the game on Facebook? - No. - No, because like my mom was obsessed with that game and then I would watch, yeah, I would watch it play. Like I think like you would just dress people up. - Yeah. - And look pretty fun. - Yeah, yeah, yeah, and then, so like I had Instagram. - Uh-huh. - And then like my following also accidentally grew there. I was just doing a game with like other people in my age. And then I wanted to post like a room tour in 2016, but it didn't like fit the time limit of Instagram 'cause it was like eight minutes long. - Yes. - So I posted it on YouTube, but it was really just for fun. And then I accidentally grew following there as well. Like I had no intention whatsoever, but I enjoy making content anyway. So I was doing it for fun. Same thing happened with my musically, that's nothing. - I remember. - I still have the same account until now. Like I did it for fun with other people, my age. - Usually it was huge. - Yeah, and then it grew. So like I was like, okay, you know what? Let's keep doing it. And now I earn from it too. So that's pretty fun. Wait, how did we get here? - Yeah, no, I was just asking about like how long have you been doing right then? - Yeah, so like the whole, sorry. It's been a long, like organically, would you say? - Yeah, especially organically, yeah. Because like I started earning from it maybe like when I was 14. - Yeah, so how? - Like I started having brand collaborations at the time, I remember like my first purchase from my salary was like Doc Martin. - Okay. - The booths. - Yeah. - You get like the classic black, or something fun. - Yeah, no, I got the classic knee also. - Yeah, yeah, yeah. I'm pretty basic sometimes. - No, the classics though. - Yeah. - And they last really long time. - I still have them, you have to break them in. - Yeah, that's what I don't like about you sometimes like breaking them in. - But yeah, so like I think the whole thing that I was like my point out here was like growing up. The whole like changing things. Like I think there are still people who still, there's still people who see me as a baby, like especially though it's just been like following me for a while now. - Well yes, but you also have a very baby face to be honest, like you look so young. - Really? - Oh my gosh, I can't perceive you as that because you look young, so gets dynamite. - Yeah, so like I feel like they're so stuck on like me like because I had like an era like in two, two dresses and stuff like maybe like such a baby girl. So like now I feel like when they see like maybe I'm like in college, or like when I post something related to anything like being an adult, or like dating, yeah, because I see your like quotes. - Yeah, they would be like, no, you're baby. I'm like, guys, I'm growing up. - Yeah, I know, we're like, it's still me, it's still me. - Yeah. - And you can't simply be one-dimensional, no one's born that way, I think that different sides of yourself kind of just reveal themselves through time and age and experience. So we're gonna tap into more of those in a sense. But are you like public about your dating life? Like do you say when you go on dates and stuff 'cause you are at that age? - Yes, I am, I am. Well, I guess when it comes to like romantic relationships and dating, well, also because again, I did kind of like accidentally grow up on social media. So I get the whole like everybody like trying to be all up in your business and like meddling. So I think with everything that's happened over time, like I wanna keep some things to myself, really. Like I don't think, I've learned that I don't owe everyone an explanation to everything. - All the time. - Yeah. - I mean, sometimes you can. If you feel it in your heart, that is something. - Yeah, like you think like it's something worth sharing, or like you're okay with the world knowing about it, then like, go ahead. But like there are some things also where like I'm like super protective of it. - Uh-huh. - So I would like just rather like not tell you guys everything about that. So I guess when it comes to dating, especially 'cause like, you're just more in there form. - Yeah, I never got into dating at a really, really early age. Like, were your parents strict, blah? - Well, they were, yes, of course, they were strict. I would say but at the same time, like besides the fact that my parents are strict. - I think it was also because like I grew up like, but a lot of love, like from my family, from my friend. So I never really looked for it anywhere else. So I was never in a hurry. - Yeah. - Or you did not heal the urge. - Yeah, and it's really because of like, wow, the love that I have. - Yeah. - So like I never was like in awe. - I never liked for it anywhere else. - Meanwhile, I've been dating since I was like 10. - Girl, no, that's totally fine. Like I have friends who did do. - I think yeah. - Yeah, I was a little whole, but it's okay. - I wanted to touch on like your upbringing. - Yeah. - I didn't know you were from Davao. - Yes, I am, but guys, are you-- - Are you-- - Are you-- (laughing) - No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, like you cannot be automatically connecting it to-- - I'm full of the guys. - I'm full of the girls' beliefs, because-- - Yeah. - But you grew up in Davao. - Yeah, I was born there. I lived there until junior high school, and I moved to Manila for senior high school college. - I think-- - So this is like my home now. - Did you go to Ateneo for senior high also? - Yeah, I did. - Actually, Ateneo did Davao. - Ateneo did Davao. - Yeah, so I've been like blue-blooded, like my entire life. - Yeah, I'm an Atenean also. - And also Atenean, right? - Yes, I've had a lot of-- - There's Bayabores, who's also Atenean. Who else, Maggie, or Editor. These are also Atenean. Lots of Ateneans from me, yes. - Anyway, so growing up in Davao versus moving to Manila in senior high, is it? - Yes. - How was the life shift? Or did you feel like there was any sort of culture shock that was like, oh my god, it was a little bit, oh. - Well, I actually don't think there was like a really major culture shock, especially since like, growing up, I would kind of go to Manila a lot. And I think I started going here a little extra in around junior high school before moving, because I was already doing like, kind of getting paid for content and going to events. And I'd also go here for like, YouTube fest and stuff. - Yeah, like fan fest and whatever. So I would be flying here pretty often. And like, my teachers were supportive of it anyway. Like, and I was getting good grades. So I was able to like balance that in school and work. - Yeah, so I think there was a big culture shock. And even like before I moved to Manila, I think I would say more of my friends where I like really felt like I would belong somewhere where here I see before I even moved. So I was like pretty excited to move, because you already had like built the community here as well. - And like, especially in my last years, and I'm not like generalizing my school and where I'm from, but like, it's just my, in my own experience, like, it was pretty toxic. - Yeah, because like, I would just be mining my own business and everybody else would like have like, a new rumor about me or like something to say. And like, I just couldn't, like, they couldn't leave me alone. I don't know, that sounds like my life right now. - Yeah, exactly, I know you know how it feels, so. - It's tough. - Yeah, it is, it is. And especially like, I was like pretty young. So I just wanted to like breathe. And I'm-- - Start fresh. - Yeah, exactly. - That's what I wanted, like a new environment. So I'm like super happy that I got to move because I really feel like I'm home here. - Aw. - Yeah. - Wait, but when you moved from Davao to Manila for school, did your family move with you? - Yeah, actually, yeah, my whole family moved. And my dad goes back and forth every now and then. Like, we still have our house in Davao because he works in Davao. And then like-- - What's his business? Or what's your family business? - Our family's always been into transportation. - Okay, yeah, that's our business. - Buses, yeah, buses like taxis. - Okay, in Davao. - Mm-hmm, yeah. - Or in Manila too. - In Davao, like basically Mindanao. - Okay. - Yeah, like parts of Mindanao. - Interesting. - Yeah. - So he goes back and forth, but your mom kind of primarily stays with you here in Manila with you. - Yes. - And I would say like my upbringing, like my whole life, my parents have like been very present. Like, they've always been-- - And they're together. - Yes, that's crazy. - Yeah, I know, like it's crazy, considering that like they're both really young. - And all my friends, like all of my friends' friends broken up, you know, have broken up. - No way, yeah, I don't really have friends other. Maybe like one or two, maybe, but that's crazy. It's nice to know them still together. - And like, I guess that's like a big factor in like how I was raised. Like my parents are like super young. - So it was kind of like, did they have you? - My parents got married at 19 and 21. - Oh, like my parents? - Yeah, your parents are young too, right? - Yes. - Yeah, so they got married. - Oh, okay. - Yeah, like 19 and 21. So my mom had my brother when she was turning 20. She had me when she was turning 21. So that's younger than me too, like right now. - So I guess like, I would say that like while my brother, and I have a brother who's older than me by like two-- - One year, two months, three days, 54 minutes. - Yeah, he's so close in the age. - Yeah, yeah, yeah, like while we were growing up, my parents were also like kind of growing up with us because I mean, their frontal lobes weren't even developed yet when they got married when they had us. - I used to joke my mom was a baby with a baby. - Right, exactly, yeah. So like there are a lot of pros and cons to having young parents, right? Like it could get pretty messy also having young parents. But also like, I would say like my parents like, we're always there, like they've always been there, so I've always been very loved and the best way that they could. - They knew, yeah. - The best way that they could, the best way they knew. - I think also, aside from of course, I know you grew up with a lot of privilege, right? - Right, I think that when it comes to parents having you younger, they only have a certain set of tools that they can work with. - Yes. - You know, like looking back at the things that I used to be pissed at my parents about when I was younger. And then now that I'm at the age, like I've succeeded their age as to when they had me. - You have a lot more grace for them because can you imagine having like a two-year-old right now, or like if you know, oh my gosh, girl. - Right? - You know, I'm, no, I can not. - Right? - Can you imagine having kids like right now? - Exactly. - And like crazy. - You're like way past the ages, like our parents having kids, right? - Yeah. - So as you get older, you also start to understand like they just did their best. And I think it is very nuanced also. There's a lot of context to it, right? Like, again, you can't just love your parents without hating them a little bit too. For like small things here and there. - Yeah. - And I think it's normal. No matter what background you have, or like no matter what they gave you, like even if your parents gave you 110%, but aren't there still things to buy? - Yes. - That sometimes either you just don't agree on or you have different perspectives. - Exactly. - So it causes tension. - Yeah, I mean, like if you don't disagree with each other, do you really love each other? - Yeah. - Or aren't able to open that up? I think it's like, okay, do you have a safe space or do you have a close enough relationship with them where you are able to bring those things up, right? - Yeah, yeah, yeah. - I think it's normal. - Uh-huh, right, yeah. - What do you say though? 'Cause a lot of people online, I think when they search you up they're like, oh, she's such a rich girl. Like she grew up with so much privilege or she grew up super comfortable. How does it make you feel? Or do you have the same or a different perspective on that? - Well, okay, so I think, I mean, it's kind of funny because I guess that's how people would talk about me or perceive me, especially like when they first see me on social media or like they first meet me in person. But to me, that isn't even like the first thing that comes to mind when I think about myself. And like even when you ask me about my upbringing, like, yes, I never even mention anything about like monetary things or like material stuff. Like I think if anything, like my privilege instead of having me blinded to a lot of things happening into society, it actually opened my eyes a lot more. Like me having privilege. Like I just feel very blessed and lucky because like I have the means to see a lot of ways that people live life, to see opportunities and like, again, like with our parents, like raising us like really young and also like people only like having maybe a certain amount to work with in their lives. Like people really like just make do with what they know. And I think like me having privilege more than it just being me being able to like access a lot of things, like when in terms of like money and whatever. I think the privilege, the privilege has given me like the means to really like open my eyes to things and not be indifferent. Yeah, yeah, because I do think that life is fair or God is fair in the way that we are all kind of going through the same storm, but we all are also blessed with different boats, right? It's like life can be hard in a multitude of ways, but obviously like if you got a better boat, like you know what I mean, they're like, yeah, it's like you're gonna deal with things differently. Yeah, but like also if like you have a better boat, might as well like put it to good use. Exactly, help other bring people on a fucking boat. Yeah, it's happy like be no one knows our like bringing the boat, yeah, like I don't know. Like having people, yeah, having like the privilege, like I think also because like my parents never made that the focus of my upbringing, like they never really fed my mind with things like we have a lot of this, we have a lot of that, we have this much money or like we're earning this much, like maybe I also kind of became aware of it in the way that like my parents want me to be careful with my things. Yes, like value things and like work hard. And also people around me kind of let me know about my privilege, they pointed out, but yeah. I was about to say like I think that when you grew up with privilege, you usually find that out more from society or outside your family unit or bubble because it becomes more apparent than it is within your home if that makes sense. Yeah, yeah. So your parents, like my parents were not like oh by the way, yeah, like we have this is like you bad guys. Like they never like say we have a house in here. It's not pretty that it's more. So I think what comes out when you're interacting with people outside of your unit, right? Yeah, because I think I don't know if you feel this way, but my parents didn't want to make me that asshole. Great, that's what always bring up. Brands or would always bring up. Oh my gosh. Yeah, like the whole brand thing. I Yes, especially when I was little my parents like especially my mom would like never like let me like talk about brands like in that way Yeah, with the people or yeah, so I got used to it growing up or yeah, I think there's a tone to it cuz I also yeah Yeah, yeah, but in the same way, I think I don't know if this is again the same for you, but Because this okay, people think that just because you're privileged. You're already like Henry C You know like they don't also know that when you have some privilege or some amount or access to resources There's still such a big range. Yeah, like to get from one million pesos to 10 million pesos to a hundred million pesos to a billion Passes just because I mean one could argue that you're already privileged if you have one million pesos in your bank correct But 1 million pesos is still so different from a billion. That's it. Yeah, yeah, so the range of like two different kinds of people one with one million and one with a billion Yeah, like maybe like it's kind of like a generalized label to some people. Yes. Yeah, yeah, and I'm not saying like ooh, boo-hoo You know, I'm not saying that at all like it's not that it's just that I've also met I think kids of like actual billionaires Or like yeah people that are so much wealthier or with so much more access where when I was a kid I thought fully in my head like oh my god like they're so rich. I want that kind of privilege Uh-huh, and so it didn't Approved to me when I was younger that I also had privilege. Yeah, there's like other people It was like how you see those other kids, but like on the other end They're like they see you in that way that makes any sense. Yeah. Yeah. Have you ever felt like that? No, no, no I never felt that way because like again, like my parents like in really Wow, I didn't really have that concept of like I have more than this person or This person has more than me in terms of money because again, my parents really didn't make that like yes The center of like how I grew up It was like whatever they could give me in terms of like a financial or monetary things They would give twice as much in other aspects. I love that. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I love that. I think I'm just very Happy that I grew up that way. Yeah. Yeah, because like my privilege was really like only like made known through like other people Yes, or when I need to like learn to take care of my things or work hard, but beyond that it was It never I think like it actually did some good in how I do have yeah, again, I do have like the opportunity to use the means I have the education to like no Yes about things happening instead of like being blinded by it or like oh that's not my problem because like I'm not affected like no Like instead like the privilege I have helps me see those things as well as equally and be grateful for what you have Yeah, and it doesn't like and the privilege like like my whole upbringing I was taught to like never treat other people differently just because of what they have Financially, yeah, like don't get me wrong. Of course money is important, but like what's most important to me is like You're doing your best to be a good person and you're trying to do something with your life without stepping on anyone agree also because there's so many people that are so so wealthy, but it doesn't necessarily mean that they're generous You know like you can have a lot of money, but because you don't have a good heart It doesn't necessarily, you know, it's like it balances out. Yeah, in other ways. Yes. Oh my gosh like I know Yeah, people like that Yeah, and if anything I just like to say like and I I really like never say that like I'm Rich, yes comfortable. I'm blessed and we're grateful Yes, very grateful and I just would like to make it clear that like nothing That my family has is earned through unjust means. Yeah. Yeah, just yeah, I just need to put that out there Yeah, but I also have another perspective that I wanted to ask you about which is that like okay People like the bash. What is it? People like the bash people that made money from unjust means, right? Yeah And then also they also like the bash people that made their money through Hard work, and then they're like I mean, it's relatable or I mean, it's a like this or like that or um Like Santa all privileged and all but it's like There's it's so difficult to navigate Because for me as long as you are a good person or you've done good with what you have. It shouldn't be a problem Yeah, yeah, you know to me like I feel like those are two very different things at least like from what I believe like the thing with Unjust means like I'm honestly like really really really against that yeah Yeah, but when it comes to like people that earn it through hard work like I see like those influencers now like I don't know Like I could drop names, but like infuences right now who are like they they start from the bottom now They're here like type of thing. Yes. Yeah, like people are like hating on them for yeah again Unilatable. Yeah, and then like you like you're not on our level anymore. You left us down here like I think it's like people who say things like that because like don't you want to see people win? Right. Yeah, like I mean they didn't step on any what they're doing what they love also. Yeah, and you can't also change someone's experience Yeah, right like you can't say oh you have to stay here forever Exactly. Yeah, because like I like what we said at the start of this podcast like people grow Yes change over time Yeah, it's so cool though to see that I think you have such a good understanding of you know what you were blessed with and how you can You know help others in the future and you're mentioning you wanted to be a pediatrician. Is it there? Uh-huh or what do you want to be? Well, um, yeah, I'm taking it as my pre-med guys. Okay. I'm like really nervous right now So I'm bouncing so much toward that goal. Yeah, like things are getting a little serious, but Those are graduating soon. Yeah, some graduating. So like life right now has been so Yeah, like like life really isn't stopping you like it's not No, no, no, it doesn't wait for you So um after Med school, I hope to actually I have like three options. Okay, so my three options are psych pdia and general surgery Oh, the surgeons make bang Yeah, I put like um psych because like I'm taking psych right now. I've always been interested in now people behave how people think Um, how they approach relationships But at the same time, I feel like I am currently leaning toward pdia because I'm pretty fond of kids Okay, yeah, but like I just have a hard time dealing with bratty kids and I'll be like talked about that. I was saying like oh my god I am a bratty kid. Yeah, like you would have beef in the clinic Yeah, okay, and so you're graduating next year, but right now you're still in at the nail, right? You've been in at the nail home throughout basically. Wait, can I like share something with you? Yeah, yeah, about like the whole pdia thing Like one of the reasons why before I wanted to become a doctor. I wanted to become a vet Oh animal love animals. You have pets. Yes. How many? I have three right now like the ones alive Um, well, we have three dogs in Davao, and then here in milleville we have Two cats, but my mom calls them babies. She doesn't let people call them cats. Oh my god. Yeah, they're her children Yeah, basically human. Yes. So um, I really love animals I wanted to be a vet and then eventually that like that dream like shifted into me wanting to be a doctor and like One of the reasons why I want to become a pediatrician and I guess also why I've been fond of kids my whole life Let's look at some I'm yeah, the little sister, right? Yes, I'm a frustrated aunt there like I'm a frustrated big sister because I was supposed to have a little sister Oh, yeah, like two years younger than me so like it was my brother than me and then like a younger sister and like even another one after her But like they both like then make it yeah, the other one after her was miscarried But the one after me like the one two years younger. She was born. Oh, yeah She was born. Oh, she was premature. She lived for a month and then she's a pre yeah, and then she died That's so sad. Yeah, so like until now like our family like really feels so strongly about it And we still talk about her a lot. Yeah, so yeah, because she was born there. It's like yeah, she was born this close. Yeah And any if anything like I think another thing about my upbringing is like we're pretty sentimental as a family And like a lot of my life was kind of documented Yeah, just because we're sentimental and like I get to use a lot of it in my content now. It's pretty fun It's cute though, because um, I saw it's the a lot of your content and the videos are so fun of like you being a diva So cute with your outfit and everything. It was like it was a really happy kid also. Yeah, but wow Well, I hope you know everything goes well with your pdf journey. Hey curious Yes, it's noble and it's admirable though that you so want to do that even if you already have like brand deals from content How do you feel about that like will you like do you see yourself doing content for a long time or Like has pdf or like being a doctor just been your passion and so you're you're just gonna have to manage both. Yeah Well, one thing I know for sure is that I still want to continue content when I get to med school And I know med school's gonna be really demanding. So there's a possibility that I get it editor at least for you too by that time Or even like a date the day social media system to stop the Yeah, because it's really like hard bouncing everything. It already is right now But like imagine how much more in med school, but after med school like maybe when I'm a doctor I mean like it is a possibility. I could do like content like share more to people about that because like especially in the Philippines like Access to health care. It's like not great. Yes. Yeah, so it'd be nice to reach the masses through social media But um at the same time. I'm not really sure yet. And especially by the time that like I do Decide to like get married and settle down. I don't know if I'll still be doing content by them Because I think that's also what I'm gonna be like super protective of what I have and like my peace and the life I have Yeah, I think like socially media is like all I've ever known accidentally, so I kind of might want to like know what life is like without it by that time. Yeah, and also give yourself that time to just experience like med school or like being a doctor for what it is without having to focus on like diverting your time. Yeah. Hey, let's film this right now. So maybe like after med school or after like being a doctor for a bit, I'm going to like stop. Yeah, I don't know, like we'll see. Okay, and right now you're still in Ateneo. Yes, but how is Ateneo now? Because it's been a bit since I graduated. Six months. Well, Jasek's close now. That's crazy. It's wild, right? Jasek was a national treasure. Yeah, it was actually it was. Yeah. Why did Jasek go to Jasek? Because I'm not 100% sure, but I heard they're renovating Jasek. Okay, so they might bring it back. Yeah, I think they will. But you know, like the Jasek that we love, like the very hot Jasek. Like when it looks like, yeah, I'm going to miss it kind of. Okay, for those that don't know, because I said what Jasek is, yeah, it's the student-owned food businesses in Ateneo. And it's like a whole area, foreign food court, but not food court, but like a bunch of foreign food bark, like many food bark with a bunch of different stalls. And then you can buy from each one and they're all student-owned, which I like because people get to either with it. And yeah, and it's also kind of like a mini competition. And well, it's not a mini competition. Like people take it so seriously. Did you have like the Jasek challenge before? Yes. Do you guys still have that? Yeah, we still do. Yeah, and then like that's kind of like how they decide like the new stalls. Yeah. So there's some that have like retained over the years or they just stayed over the years, but foreign Jasek challenge every year. You get to compete and people can actually buy and it's so competitive because people are giving out like discounts, vouchers, your friends, you want to bring them to your booth, and then I'm so full every Jasek challenge because I'm trying to support everyone, but also I'm curious. Yeah. Imagine how much crazier like now like with social media being a little extra. Yeah. But also like Jasek used to get, I don't know if it's still getting heath, but back then, it used to get a lot of the heath because people would say that Jasek's overpriced. It still kind of does actually. Is it? I even find it pretty overpriced because like I'm pretty some. For cool. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Some are, but some are really, really good. Like I would really pay for this. Yeah. Like I had this like there's a stall when I was in myself a more year. It was like a stall with like steak and grilled cheese. Ooh. So good. Yeah. Yeah. Average price point. I remember of Jasek back then during my time was already like 300. Ooh. Really? Like during that time? Yeah. Wow. Things were expensive. I remember because I was like, because there were things like that. It's like a steak rice bowl. Yeah. And they'd really be so creative with it. Yeah. But I wouldn't eat that Jasek every day. Me too. I would eat at Gonzaga a lot. Yeah. Get the run over there. Did you have like the chair falling and then you clap thing? Yes. Yeah. I'm so happy until now. Like it's still a running joke. And you know how about like the second floor being different now? Oh. No. Yeah. Like it still kind of looks the same, but it now has like an air condition. Like it's kind of air conditioned and it has like fans. Yeah. And then oh, another thing. Like I need to visit. Yeah. Oh my god. Let me know because I'm gonna pick you around because like you know new wrist library, right? Yes. Yeah. The first floor I only found out like last month like during my first day of school. I was shocked. Like the first floor is now a coffee. Oh wow. Right. Yeah. I used to like go there and study. And then like I was about to go there and study. And then I saw that like it was a cafe. I was like. Yeah. Wow. I never tried it though. One of my favorite lunches that you always get in at the nail was to lock us in Banada. I don't know if it's still there. Remember was it on the ground floor of Gonzaga? I don't know if that's still there. There is that. That was like my easy like because it's just in a paper bag. I love it. I love eating anything. I really love food. Yeah. So good. And then on the second floor, there was like the salad bar. I also used to have that. I used to have that salad bar. There's a lot there because it would change for the offense. Yeah. It does. What should go to lunch? Go to lunch. Actually, what you would like to get in like for school. Yeah. Well, if it's in at the nail, lately like we have at the Rika's back. So like no. Yeah. So like when I like I always I mean, I eat a lot. So like I I would want to get that. But most of the time like my friends and I would have like really long vacant periods. So it's either I would leave with my friends or if like I have no like friends with like the same schedule, I would like leave on my own and like get out of school. Okay. Like just to have like a breath of fresh air after all the stress. And it changed the vibe. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. And like just eat somewhere till somewhere. Maybe study somewhere else and then go back to school again after. Yeah. So like if it's outside, did you have sweet bread already? What are you recording? No. Or the cafe. No. No. Okay. This is like a cafe where people like to study each other with their friends. Yeah. It's called sweet bread. So you like you know that the foot bread, the foot, the footbridge like the cross. Yes. Yeah. Like on that side. Yeah. So I think you take the footbridge. You go down you. I like I like I really like walking. So like I got the footbridge. Like go down. I passed by Starbucks and Jakey's and then you keep walking. You know one of Asia. The condo. Yeah. You you it's a little past one of Asia. I see. Yeah. And then there's also Chubby Chicken, which I haven't had in a while. It's really good. But I heard this serving change. I just don't know. Okay. Yeah. It's good. Interesting. I really should. I will take you around. I really should visit. That would be a fun TikTok also like this thing at the nail after so many years. Yeah. Cute. Now are you dating in school or like are you are you the kind of person that likes to date within your school or outside? I was the kind of person that didn't like dating within my school because I didn't want to see them that often doesn't make sense. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. It makes so much sense. Yeah. I get you. Okay. Go on. Are you the kind of person that would rather date outside like choose a different school or do you like like being close to someone and seeing them in between classes or in your classes? That's same as you. Yeah. Yeah. Really outside of school because um how do I say this? Well I mean of course like I like you. I'd want to see you. But like when I'm at school I wanted to be a time for other things also. Yeah. Time for like my studies sometimes I even work while I'm at school and then edit your content. Yeah. Spend time with my friends. Like my world can't just be because you're not my world. So I don't want you to be there like 100% of the time. I get that. So that I don't like you but like my life doesn't stop just because you're there. Yeah. And also I think it's more exciting that way. Yeah. If you have stories that tell each other. Yeah. It's really cute. It is. Yeah. Yeah. Like different cultures also. Like yeah. No. No. No. My school's better. No. My school's better. Are you straight? Yes. Okay. I forgot. I forgot to ask any of the people to ask that at the start of the episode. Yeah. No. I saw some episodes. Yeah. What's your love language though? This one hasn't really changed over the years. But like at least whenever I would take a test it's always um it's interchangeable like physical touch and quality time. Yeah. But like also it's not physical touch as in like I love hugging everyone. I love touching everyone. It's like no it's special. Like that's why it's a love language because it's like pretty selective because you're not a hugger with your friends. What do you say? Or I mean I kind of am but like not too much of a hugger. Like I feel like it's also like I don't know if it's like the Chinese jeans or something kind of being a little less expressed Chinese. Are you? Well I'm like one-fourth Chinese. Okay. Because my dad's half. I see. Yeah. And then like it's like my dad's side that isn't too expressive. They're not super touchy. Like I remember but like I still have like a bit of that in me because my mom is very expressive. I see. She's very much a hugger. She's very emotional. So like there's this one time that I was in the US like I still like getting hugged especially like if I love you. So like when I was like in I was in the States for like almost a month which is probably like by the way like the longest I've ever been apart from my parents because like it was my first time flying alone because I turned 19 and I was like I want to try flying alone. Okay. Yeah. Was it like just a birthday trip alone? It was like kind of like a late birthday thing like I did celebrate my birthday here and then like I flew alone but I stayed with like my dad's side in the States. Okay. Yeah. And then like again my dad's side like they're not as expressive. So it was like almost a whole month. I didn't hug anyone. Like I was talking to my friends. I was like wow I haven't hugged anyone in like a month. That's kind of crazy. Like maybe the only time I hugged them was like when I arrived at what I left. And that's it. I see. Yeah. So like it's pretty much physical touchable. Yeah. But I think especially right now that I'm getting older quality time is becoming a bigger deal to me. Well these are like both the receiving and giving. Okay. Yeah. So I think like quality times we're going to be a bigger deal to me especially because like I'm really doing my best to balance so much in my life and I also appreciate when other people are doing that and give you their time. Yeah. So like when we so when we are I'm able to find time for you or you're able to find time it for me like it's a really big deal. Yeah. But I appreciate all the love languages like yeah. They're all good. How are you as a girlfriend? Are you clingy? Are you a like if you could describe yourself as a girlfriend like what would you be like? Okay. Let's like let's talk about this like in the hypothetical sense of being a girlfriend. Okay. Me as a girlfriend. Again. Are you a texture? Like are you on life 360? No. Actually not. I'm like I'm super independent. I'm a pretty chill girlfriend. Okay. Yeah. Like the independent thing. I think that's not going to go away. Yeah. Cuz like how do I say this? Again, I'm not that emotional. I mean oh wait no not that I'm not that emotional. I'm I get you. I mean I am in touch with my emotions. I just don't express it as you allow. Yeah. Especially like I'm not generalizing girls but like kind of like based on my conversations with my my girlfriend. Yes. You're not the kind that's like baby. Yeah. I love the kind of the same kind of girlfriend as my friends where they're like very like And this is not her being a picnic, okay? - Yeah, I'm not her being a-- - I'm not her being a-- - I'm not being a-- take me like I'm just like okay yeah like I'm like just like pretty chill and I feel like because I'm like that like the people who've like the guys like me are like yeah gravity towards me are like guys who are like the emotional expressive kind do you like that oh it's very like black cat golden retriever kind of vibe yeah like that's always the dynamic I get like when I when I'm like talking to someone or when someone likes me so do I like that wow yeah is it if if I don't if I don't feel you if I don't feel the same way that you feel with me then I probably wouldn't like it yeah sorry but if I really like you and I feel the show with that much even though like that's not naturally me like I'm not naturally sweet or like Malambing well I was Malambing as a kid actually like I feel like my dad's jeans just like caught up when I hold her yeah like I feel like but it's like I really really really like you then like I'm going to like it yeah like maybe and then that's also what's kind of like that's all that also teaches me to kind of be by being to kind of like meet them halfway okay because of course like I don't want to be like too much yeah too much on one end or too much on the other like that like I think like the I think there's always like like too much could be bad yeah either way yeah yeah and like also um what was I supposed to say when I was younger like maybe like in my teen years I was like oh I'm never going to call anyone like with a nickname I'm never going to be like sweet like that like I couldn't imagine like that's kind of gross like maybe also comes with age and like maybe it does yeah like also like feelings like developing like you're kind of like oh like that's actually kind of cute yeah and it changes yeah but I'm not I'm not like I'm really I'm never going to be like the super clingy kind of girlfriend like I I will really appreciate your presence I love your presence I want to be with you but like I'm also like not going to force it to be like oh we have to see each other now every day yeah like 24/7 I need to see your life 360 no I'm not that kind like I'm like I'll let you be with your life because I want you to let me live my life I want you to live your life because like if you like me in the first place it's because like I'm me and like I like you in the first place because you're you so I like you will just be yeah I'm going to let you be with your life but and I trust you and like the moment you and I'm like pretty patient I guess when I really like or love someone but like the moment you break that trust it's like bye bye yeah cuz like I'm pretty chill anyway so like if you're gonna break that trust that you're not like a micro managing girlfriend always up on his ass and all of that it's like you just expect that things would go as they should they're like how they should be and then if they don't then it's okay also yeah it's pretty young so like there are a lot of things I also want to do with my life so yeah I know this is a lot of your content you have a lot of these like quotes about standards and things like that I noticed that um so what would you say are your standards my standards wait uh like even a quick like top five checklist okay wait okay having a long list or a top five was like pretty hard let me just like whatever is at the top of my head anything that comes to mind oh my god speaking over you know when I was like in judo curious cat like on Twitter yes yeah the anonymous like sending yes because when I was like 15 or 14 it was huge at the time yeah somebody sent me like something about my standards and like I had a really long list and like I let them know like also I was even gonna get into relationship yeah at that age but like I already had the standards so I kind of knew what I wanted um well okay where do I even start okay I think like man with a job yeah I was gonna say something related to that like somebody that like um has direction in life or like knows that he wants to do something and someone who's already doing something about that like this early on because like again life's not gonna wait for you yes yeah so I want someone who's like hard working that's what I look for in a guy someone who's hard working um someone expressive because I naturally I'm not like that so yeah it develops me out and let's also like let me feel like it's a safe space to talk yeah um someone who um wouldn't let me or themselves like let like life revolve around the relationship yeah that's another one um good looks our bonus of course yeah um what else knows what like someone who knows when to be funny and when to be serious because like there's a right time and place for everything yeah um someone who's as much as possible family oriented because like I came from like does that kind of background so it would be much easier for us to understand each other if like you know like we have maybe pretty similar family dynamics with the same value for um our connections with family and even with friends and also someone who has their like moral compass their values intact yeah I mean like people are imperfect but like to at least have that to guide you yeah and I think a to match in values right it's also really difficult like as you get older you but I feel like when I was dating when I was younger yeah following values to me we're kind of broad there's like oh if you're a good person yeah right and then as you get older it kind of shifts and becomes more detailed yeah like really specific like I want this like what values are those are like how far do you take it how do you show it because like as you get older like you realize what like what things you like what you don't like in a person yeah so there's that and but on looks I know this that you're not so choosy or like you don't have like oh you want them this hype the some girls are very specific like I remember having Bayer here and she was like I want a guy with Bushy Browse I want oh no I actually like no like whatever people ask me like when in terms of looks like like like what do you like like when you like someone is there like something specific do you have a type with looks honestly like no I think because when I like you I really like you that that's pretty much it but like I've never had like a specific type like oh I want you to have like pom blips I want you to have a small mouth I want you to I want you to be this time I want you to have like no tattoos if anything like I want a guy who's like clean clean looking I really love it like one of guys really clean looking those how to carry themself I super get that like yeah when they look like they smell good I love that yeah yeah yeah yeah and but not so much on like like the like the physical it's how they carry themselves also yeah that one yeah yeah yeah yeah did you always know this about yourself like how did you learn these standards do you feel like it came from having you know parents that are still together or do you feel like it's something that you learned or picked up along the way just as you got older naturally I think it's a mix of both because again like my parents like kind of set the bar for me in like a lot of ways at the same time like they like seeing my parents a lot growing up it taught me like the things that I want and I don't want yes and plus my environment like seeing how the relationships go with my friends and everything and maybe even the media and also helps me realize like what things I like and what things I don't like and also knowing myself helps a lot yeah with what I prefer and what I don't yeah you ever feel that it's difficult in the way that like when you're dating people and maybe they see your content online they're like oh um I don't know if I want to date her because it's so intimidating um have you ever felt that or have people told you oh people do tell me that okay but I don't really worry about like I don't really bother like filter yourselves please yeah exactly like I have those standards like do it what you want with like the knowledge of my standards if you think you could like keep up then that's great if you can't then we're not going to be together yes no yeah yeah like I'm not going to adjust for you no yeah I'm really not like don't settle like really like I'm easy to set them up for some girls but like really like don't settle yeah I guess I'm also just lucky enough to have like a good foundation of my upbringing so I guess my parents should be like happy knowing that they've raised me the way they did for me to like make my decision to myself on whether it be like romantic relationships or anything else in life so forget that yeah yeah yeah another very psych related thing yes do you know your attachments that have you ever talked about attachment styles in the podcast um I need to update mine because I feel like mine's changed like what do you think you are I think before I was buried what do you call it the one that like runs away avoid it avoid it uh-huh I think before I was very avoided uh-huh how is your experience like being avoided um I think that I have this habit at least with me and locks when you fight or when you would um have any kind of not disagreement sometimes it doesn't even get to a disagreement I have a thought in my head that I don't like I don't even kind of a discussion yeah but the thing is it hasn't even been a discussion yet I just don't I thought about it in my head yeah I haven't even brought it up and then I run away from even having that discussion with him because I don't want him to a lot of things it's like I don't want him to do this I don't want to feel this way that's why I just avoid it yeah rather like just not have the conversation at all yeah I don't want to make things worse or yeah yeah now I think I am super it's the opposite like I want to talk about it right now like no no wait do you feel like now you're the type to chase because like the like the opposite of avoid it is anxious but like there's also the one in the middle that's like secure I think I'm like if I could peter between secure and anxious yeah it's that it's somewhere there like somewhere in the middle so like you're like secure but like leading toward like the anxious side of it yeah depending on the situation you really want to like address it no no no no no I have to talk to you I have to yes yeah yeah so it's it's different or it's interesting also to see how those things can change when you're younger yes I think now that I'm in like 20 it's change really can yeah how about you well I mean like um maybe when I was like it it changed comparing like my childhood to now okay so I feel like in my childhood I was pretty sick Yeah, like you know like it's so loved like so I was like I was like melamine like what because when you're secure Like you can't you have a good view of yourself and a good view of like other people And I think it's easier also when you're secure. I feel like that's the yeah It's like it's like the best attachment side of how like if you have like a secure attachment side good for you Yeah, I would love to just be a more insecure, but I can't fight it Yeah, but the more you fight it the worse it gets right? Yeah, but like when I was a kid I was pretty much secure like I had a good view of other people and myself and like I would How do I say this? I was very expressive at the same time Like I also don't like chase for validation like I didn't chase for validation as a kid So like I guess I was secure But at the same time, I mean I'm not at the same time. Sorry, and then like growing up I think it changed it became I became very avoided Yeah, which is like weird like sometimes like my my my parents, especially my mom who's like very expressive Actually, my mom's like very anxious. Okay, my mom would like question. She's like, why did you do that like that? Why did you hug me anymore? Why don't you like express that much and like? Yeah, she's even like pushed me like Sometimes I'm kind of like an outside out of mind person also when it comes to my loved ones like I don't mean I don't hate you guys like I'm just like when I'm focused on something I forget about all this stuff So my mom would like also really like remind me to like really let the people around we know how much I care about them And I think I'm also glad like she also influenced my dad a lot So now I have the both of them like telling me like Remind me you just like yeah, like tell the people around you that you love them Yeah, yeah, yeah, so and I feel like I see it in your condom and like I saw your post about your yaya Yes, oh, yeah, yeah, I think your mom's high school driver that is now. Yeah, your company's manager Yeah, yeah, you know, like I think that they're in many ways or I see it at least that you are also still very expressive Or you're able to show it in a month. Yeah, maybe not as touchy-feely as yeah, exactly as others But I think you show it. Yeah, like it's so cool. It's like my eyes been there since I was like less than 18 days old my My yaya also yeah, like how long has she been there since before I was born? That's so cute. Oh, yeah, then she also cook. Yeah, my eyes are so sharp I've been kind of getting bashed lately because I call my yaya yaya. Oh, I've gotten that to like over the years But like I don't think it's supposed to be like a derogatory It's not and I think it's more sort of a reflection on other people that they think it's a derogatory thing Yeah, I think it's honest noble hardworking where that I'm sure you're as grateful to have and like I couldn't my second mom right and I couldn't live without her or like I don't have just one yaya like I have like Yeah, it's very different like my my I have a yaya that was with us since my mom was a kid Oh, cute. And we've kind of tried to retire her so many times But she just doesn't like what she just want to leave Because she's she's joke to me that oh at least now I hope I got a graduate can a high school graduate high school She's like a leave after college after graduate college. She's like extend it. Yes, and then now. Yeah, I said What's that? Oh when are you gonna leave now and she goes ah? No, cuz I don't know and then I said oh, what if I get married next year and then she goes oh when you have a kid No, I'm never gonna leave. She's gonna be your kid. Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah, you know It's like you grow up with these people and everything. Yeah, we've built such a close relationship Yeah, yeah, it's like a very sweet term. It is an environment to me. Yeah, me too Yeah, I just you know, I've also gotten bashed because they were saying oh, but you're already an adult like you're a fully grown woman Calling her yeah, yeah, yeah, I mean do I turn 18 and one day? Yeah, like it's something it's a good different time No, like you grew up around her. Yeah, I don't think there's anything wrong with that I know especially because like you treat your eye well, and like you have like a good relationship with you then I don't think there's anything wrong, right? I don't think they would have lasted this long either if we had a bad relationship Exactly, right? Yeah, yeah, yeah, because my I like I know my mom's high school driver like really family to us and like even their kids They're their spouses. Yeah, yeah, I've had some crazy Lord though like I had a driver before that was sleeping with the one of her Yeah, yeah, you know, I feel like that's happened before I was born wait. I was funny story Yeah, go I think this was what maybe long time ago, and then maybe 10 plus years ago Happened how did it start by trying to remember how we even hired her. Okay, so basically Because one of our family drivers he was gone at the time because he had a baby. Okay, so there so we had a new driver and then He recommended another helper also because just so happened that we needed another helper that Helper my driver said was his cousin Okay, and in our rooms because in the helper's room Kasey there's a female area and there's like a male area for the driver like houseboy But it's separate okay, okay, but In the female room, it's a bunk bed one of them's a bunk bed There's like a bunk bag, and then there's like a double bed over here. So on the bunk bed My yaya for a long time was on the bed below and then she said that she was feeling some shakes though It was not an earthquake and it was indeed the driver and his cousin and his and so I was like too young to understand what was going on Yeah, I thought like oh my god, they see sleeping with his cousin Uh-huh, and then my mom was like no like he lied. That's not his cousin. They're just sleeping together And that's why she wanted us to hire so they could be like in the same. Yeah, oh my gosh That's so messed up, but then for me it's like why didn't you just say now? It's it's weirder. Yeah, right? So anyway, it's a super diverted but going back there like family like the ones that you've had for a really long time Mm-hmm. They're like family and yeah, that driver and yeah, we didn't keep for a long time Yeah, it's kind of weird. Yeah, it is weird. But my other driver now long-term her his Baby mama. Yeah, and his kid. They also live with us. Oh, yeah, that's the same thing that we did like with my yaya and her kids like I grew up like Um around her kids. Yeah, yeah, like the youngest one because he's around like almost my age like just a few years older So he became our childhood best friend and then with my mom's high school driver who became my knee-nong and is now the company manager Like they also like they also grew up around us. They weren't under the same roof and like his kids are also almost my age Right. Yeah, so it's just Of course like that yes, there is that family dynamic, but when you start off cuz it calling them yaya Yeah, burn the gigging term of environment the shot over time because it's like oh, yeah, you know Rather than something that is derogatory. Yeah, no, it's not like you're calling them something bad Yeah, really not or like people were saying you have to call them helper I feel like that would sound a little like make a sound a little distant because I'm really using yaya Yeah, so like helpers kind of like we have no relation to like there's like a wall. Yeah, that's all about the same like barang Yeah, it's kind of like a sad term for me. Yeah, um or house helper housekeeper house barang to say it's more than that day Yeah, and I don't know again many of you might disagree with me, but I don't care like my eyes Yeah, I love my eye. Yes. Yeah, she's like my second mom like my parents have been very present with my yaya also Yes, yeah, so like I'm just lucky enough to also have her oh and one more thing sorry I forgot to say about like attachment styles like about me being avoidant Yeah, like Especially when it comes to like romantic matters like when like a guy would like start to like me or like it's starting to get a little like I'm like I'd push them away. Yeah, like I'd yeah, but like they're talking like they're very they're a little too much Yeah, yeah, they're a little too much like I've had experiences of like guys who were like my friends and then they would confess and then I would be like Um, yeah, and then I'd be like oh, but I'll try to be friends with you like I really do my best because like I can't not make things awkward But they would start to act like possessive boyfriend and then I would be like Oh like main gosh, but like what I'm so cyan yeah, but like even when I really like a guy also it's so funny because I Um would still push them away. Oh, no, yeah, like because like I'm not that expressive also or because of Yeah, yeah, that's when silent. Yeah, that too. Yeah, like whenever I feel like something's like about to get a little too I don't know like serious. Yeah, too serious or like a lot of emotion would be involved I'd rather just withdraw. I'm like not talk to you or like talk about something else and pretend nothing happened Even though deep down. I know like so I would rather just like suppress emotions like I'm kind of good at like turning my emotions off I see yeah, which is like a good thing sometimes. It's so bad. Yeah, it's a cool way. It's advantages and disadvantages But I do have a question. Do you ever feel like you can be like completely in love while being independent? Yes, I think so because it's sometimes it's hard to balance. Yeah, it is like when you're super independent It's also hard to let go or if you're there like with your attachment So it's also hard to just dive in. Yeah. Yeah. How do you navigate that or I think it could be hard But it's also like really possible. It is. Yeah, I feel like It also depends on your dynamic because it doesn't work for everyone. So I guess like navigating it like would mean Finding someone who could like keep up with that or yeah I think it also relies heavily on the other person that you're dealing Because if they're quick to run away from an independent woman. Yeah, no that I know. Yeah. Yeah, yeah Then it won't work no longer. Of course, they I think kind of get the vibe and just understand that um Just tough love yeah exactly where they want to be Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, I mean like navigate there is a fine line between being independent and just being like Outright disrespectful and not liking them and showing like you don't care. Yeah. Yeah, there's a difference There is a difference and I think that if you I don't know if you like ever get the chance to date like an independent woman You'll see how sweet we are like. Yeah, like when we when we like you like even though like we love. Yeah We really really really for sure do. Yeah, that's something that I've always thought of like once I get into really relationship like I know that I'm going to like really but of course like I still like loving myself I'm not going to forget about myself like that's like something that you really shouldn't forget especially like the young girls watching Okay, never forget about yourselves. What does being an independent woman mean to you, but okay? Well being an independent woman to me It means being like self-sufficient. Okay, of course. That's like a very obvious answer being an independent woman means not waiting for other people to be who you want to be and also being able to stand with or without People or without another person with or without another person. Yeah, so essentially kind of like being financially free on your own Yeah, but it's also like another aspect emotionally more have to emotionally depend on other people. Yeah, that's another thing and like whether especially in romantic relationships, but also in other things like Again, you don't let your worlds revolve around each other. Yes. Yeah, because like with or without them Like your whole and that's like something that I Go go on. Yeah, like that's something I just I think like it's already been something that I've known my whole life But I think it was like even more solidified when I like I talked to my social studies teacher when I was in ninth grade Shout out to Sempau like he he told me about this code where like You're not supposed to be each other's hats. You're supposed to like be whole with or without each other and then like you're better together You don't make any sense. I remember something like that. It's like yeah, you are whole on your own But together you're an even bigger hole. Yeah, yeah, even bigger Yeah, it should be that way because like if you're just like each other's half like without them What are you? Yes. Yeah, what are you gonna be able to do with your life? Yeah, yeah, exactly. So You're supposed to be whole with or without like somebody else being there Yeah, you can't rely your happiness or your validation or any of those things from those other people It's more so I think I look at it as a bonus. Yes, it's a nice addition to your life That's how I always subscribe. It's like it's not seeing that I don't want it like of course I want emcee look girl Yeah, but it's not like you're not gonna be able to live with it's not there. Yes. Yeah, I got a part in the man Yeah, it's just even better when yeah, yeah, it's a nice addition. It makes your life nicer. Yeah, yeah, okay I do have a couple questions on like how you handle I would say like external validation online Okay, like how do you handle let's say obviously I don't know for me like being online all these years I've gotten bashed so many times or people will just not enjoy my content or sometimes I'll post about standards and they'll be like Oh, like calm down bitch You know how do you deal with that or Do you ever feel that you still seek like external validation from people online or you're so fast it already because Retired of it. I feel like I'm way way way way past it. Okay, especially because like I grew up around it Well, my first experience of being hated online was when I was like eight years old. Why yeah, like there's like this random Like issues probably kid. Thanks also. Yeah, who was calling me like ugly and like I think like who said the like I forgot My face. Yeah, like I was like kid and like that was probably kid too that affected me at the time because it was my first time receiving that kind of hate But like after that I just learned that like no like people Couldn't like other people who can't do anything better with their time. They really can yeah Yeah, yeah, so I guess like I'm really way past it already I don't really seek validation online anymore like I appreciate of course when people show that they praise or Yeah, positive. Yeah, they appreciate you that they love you They say something nice about what you doing because I keep you going it really does Yeah, you know, we can never have enough kindness or or positive outlook some things I think that sometimes even me as a reminder like listening to this I'm like yeah, I should be a little more like I should show people. Yeah, it doesn't work Yeah, it doesn't hurt to be kind to other people. Yeah, so I guess like I Really like I think that matters to me a lot more than like the hate online. I don't like seek it I don't seek other people appreciating me or giving me compliments. It's just something I really appreciate So also when it comes to like haters or people that like would bash you or like say bad things about you online I guess you just have to be like pretty smart about it like you know you know who you are You know like you know yourself really well So you don't let those things affect you especially when they don't know you well But they're also times when like you can kind of like listen to them especially when they're being constructive Yes about it because like but you can tell you don't go say. Yeah, there's a huge difference when people are genuinely trying to give Insight or like help you better yourself and there are people who just like are fuck you Yeah, they people who just want to like say something because they're like just projecting their own insecurities or rage bathing I know there's a lot on TikTok lately. It's these people just dropping rage baby type comments Just because they think it's funny. I don't know if you think it's fun, but it's a lot like I get them all the time With examples now I block people so quickly. I think before I was not a blocker because I felt like oh I didn't want them to think I'm too affected or think that it bothered me, but then I realized that I don't need that negative energy. Yeah, I'm like take your own peace girl. Yeah. Yeah. It is our common Yeah, you have to do what you want with it. Yeah, and at the end of the day if you're an independent woman, right? You'll live without that. Yeah, exactly. Yeah. Yeah. So like it shouldn't like shaky that much Yeah, or even at all. So now I do have a couple questions from our Followers are lovely followers. They're asking for advice such sweet sweet girls. Hello. Yeah, they don't know that you're gonna be the one answering these questions There's a frustrated big sister. I'm pretty excited for this. Oh wait, can I start at one though? I am going to Davao for the first time Well, technically I want to pearl farm before but yeah, I don't feel like that's going to Davao Right, because it's more so I went to the beach. It's not like the city. Yeah, so where do I go? Well, hmm Do you want to like go to like fun like touristy spots? No, they're like They're not like the types of like goes at planning or fishing. No, no, I think I'm good I think because I don't have enough time. Okay. I only have I think it wouldn't take that much of your time actually Yeah, like if you have like because Davao like stuff aren't too far from each other Yeah, well, I want to be sitting in the road for like hours. It's not like when I think now I heard the traffic There's like a little but like it's not it's not like here. So like when I went to like a little like the of the touristy spots Recently like it wasn't so like it take much of my time like maybe just half my day or less than where like I go Have you ever heard of like eat a nature park? Yes. Yeah. Oh, it's so fun. Okay. Yeah, like But are you into like extreme like rides and stuff sometimes? I'll do some of them not all can you do like a 90-foot swing that like just like Like no, I'm really shit myself. Oh, that ass. Yeah So fun like you have but like if you if you change your mind like give it a chance like are you going with locks? Yes locks. We're bringing another top there the pudding. Yes. I'll give you some on the way out. Thank you Yes, I love you guys. I need anything and everything. Thank you. Yeah. Oh cafes. Yeah, I need recommendations Well matcha like my favorite. Yes, out of boredom. Okay. Yeah, are they call it in Davao? I think they call it boop boop. Yeah, like OOV. Okay. Yeah, I thought you were like joking about like Oube. No Yeah, who was like my favorite matcha place in Davao? I'm trying to think there are a lot of like the like the matcha scene in Davao is like pretty crazy like compared to Like matcha. They're so good almost anywhere you go. Okay Yeah, and this is other place called oh my gosh. I forgot like I have a TikTok video. I'll just send it to you. It's about like my mantra of you and Davao just yeah, I'll just search like Sofia Margaret Yeah, yeah, um, cafe recommend it or my like trying matches in Davao. Okay, the video like that back in December. Okay. Yeah, I'm gonna do that for sure and next question is how they move on from her no label relationship? Please, I'm still struggling Never the find the relationship get up and move on. Okay, wait no easy setting them down. Well It you know, sometimes it's like a little hard for me to give advice just because like I know that I could like just switch my feelings off you because you're that kind of person Yeah, but like I also like understand it's not the same for everybody. So How to move on from a no label relationship. I think like you could let yourself like How do I say this like you could let yourself be sad for it about it for a bit like just for a while I'll give yourself like a timeline if you can yeah, like I like healing things time But like if you can like try to give yourself like a mental timeline about it to like Like just process everything about the same time like while you're doing that like already start to like Do your best to like fake it till you make it like live your life the way you normally would with or without that person Especially like remind yourself there isn't a label anyway, and you deserve like so much better than that and peace within yourself Yeah, if it didn't work out, you know So maybe it's for the better. Yeah. Yeah, like couldn't get to the phase where you Like actually define the relationship. Maybe it's not meant for you Also, like you may not feel it right now because it's hard to feel things like when you're still in that situation But there's like really plenty of fish in the sea really really are Yeah, yeah, and like oceans. Yeah, like no label like why did you even like let yourself stay in it for a while? Right. Yeah, she'll heal. She just needs time. Yeah, like just maybe maybe like treat it as your lesson Like not to settle for people who can't even be that sure of you true. Yeah What if my boyfriend of four years is still splitting bills? Is that the deal breaker? Hmm, I think it depends on how old you are also like if you're like high school then like yeah Fine, like yeah, so if you're like junior high school, I think it's fair because you can't expect the 1560 a 14 year old boy, they're like a father with some poor kids providing for you, but at the same time, maybe if you're already around my age or even your age, I think, wait, this is four years, right? 40 years. She then say how old she is. I think you would also need a little more context to it. Are they working in everything at the same time? I think it's already been that long and they're not really showing. It depends on what you want also. It depends on your reference. You want to settle down eventually and you want to see that a guy could provide for you. I guess that's when you should start thinking about it, but it depends on the time. Anywhere past 21, I think, if you start dating at 21 and then you're like 25 now, I think you can start expecting more. Of course. You started dating at like 15, 16 and you just turned 20. That's a different story. I think it's not fair to expect that of him yet. We really need more context on that, but in case you're already in mid-20s, late-20s, then you have to start thinking about it a bit more. Maybe if you don't want to let go of it just yet, but the thing is, I switch my feelings off. If you don't want to let go of it just yet, talk about it, communicate, but that doesn't work. What if he's not aware of it? He's just used to the system that you had when you were younger. That's true. Don't talk about it, be mature about it and talk to him about it first, because he also has a man up. But if he doesn't do anything about it, then again, put any fish in the sea. When I was in a younger relationship also, I remember transitioning because we were dating for a really long time, coming from dating at like 17, 18 maybe to like 20 plus. It's different because you also individually grow as a person, so when you mentioned that the system or the dynamic between us, we she, he, they, them could have gotten used to how it was before. It's harder than if you don't have a conversation that like, hey, now I'm really feeling like, yeah, because like people also make do with what they know again, like I said earlier, so you have to talk about it. You really do. There's no way through. Yeah. There's no way out, but through. Exactly. Yeah. Last question is, how do you deal with a friend, quote-unquote, who seems to love the thrill and attention she's getting because of her dilemmas and she can't really, we can't really be real with her. We tend to walk on eggshells around her because she just seems like she likes attention. She must be happy. She needs that. Yeah. She needs that. You know, the long sis. Yeah. I get it though. You know, it's like the first few times maybe you're going to listen. Of course, she's your friend. Yeah. Of course. So you really want to be there. But it gets to a point. Like we could only do so much because we're also dealing with our own things, but it also depends on how that other person handles it. Like if they're just enjoying it already and they're just creating so much drama because they like the attention, that's kind of like that's kind of like a foundational problem already. Like that's not the root and like that's something that needs a long time and a lot of things to fix it and you can't be the only one there to fix it for them. And you can't fix it for them in general. Yeah. Like only they can fix it within themselves. Exactly. At that point. Yeah. Like friends for a long time, I would say, and they haven't like done anything directly to you. Maybe again, like talk to them about it and like communication really is key in like any kind of relationship, especially if like you're close. Because sometimes I don't think that they know that they're doing it for attention. I know there's like evil people out there that are really. They're really wow. Oh my gosh. I have so much experience. I can have the feeling. Yeah. You know, like those friends that like secret animosity, they locate you or those people. Which is experience, yeah, that's like a whole episode on its own. Yeah. I wish I could do that. I know. Another time if there's a part two of this, one thing we will. But like you can tell when someone's like that versus somebody. I think there's been people that they don't know that that's what they're doing. Um, not necessarily because they're like stupid, but it's hard to catch yourself. Yeah, it really is, especially like, especially like if it's connected to your upbringing. Yeah. Because what if that's how they are at home? Yeah, but if they lack something at home and that's why they also seek validation and like attention, um, extremely, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, you know, and like let them know, like talk to them, like you can't just be like they're listening to their problems. If you think like it's getting to a point where it's too much and you guys are close anyway, then talk to them about it. Yeah. If that doesn't really get you anywhere and it gets worse and then another, yeah, another buy. Yeah. Because like you can't be doing that. I'd be expensive your own life. You really can. Yeah. Our lives are ours to live. Not. Yeah. I mean, of course, and hot dick, but I do also think that, you know, how people are saying, oh, um, boundaries, setting boundaries, cut them off. I'm also not the kind that's so quick in the mind to say, like you don't cut off like straight away. Yeah. Yeah. But I think, you know, yes, if you want a village, you have to be a villager, but it goes both ways. Yeah. But it also can't go both ways if you don't talk about it because you don't know what those ways are, or you can't, you don't know what that way is through it. Yeah. So like, how are you about it? Like, take the next steps. We don't talk about it. Yeah. Yeah. But that's about it for today's episode. I wish we could talk some more. I love it. I love it. You meet Chika. I talk so much. My apologies, everyone. I really. Yeah. You see the Gemini now? Yeah. I would love to have you back again. Yeah. Yeah. One of these days. Talk to you with the soap on. It is. You have so much more insight than, like, because shampoo, the content I see from you is like quick bling. Yeah. And TikTok. Yeah. Some of my content, especially on TikTok, is like pretty short for you. Yeah. Yeah. So it's so nice to have this chat in person. Yeah. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you.