Speaker 1hello everyone welcome to the podcast my guest today is you know she's an actress and so smart and so so amazing i hope you love her the way i fell so in love with her and i hope it's meaningful for you too she sees herself sometimes as too sensitive and unstable and sad and depressed patterns are driving her nuts and that she's not trying hard enough and of course we see in our time together that even as a little innocent girl she was so driven and felt she was falling short when she wasn't and i think i've said enough about you and i'll let her speak for herself as together we sit in inquiry so welcome again dears welcome to the work open your mind get still allow breathing to just happen do nothing for it notice in and out and welcome to time together with you hello beautiful hello beautiful to my eyes what's going on what's going on you and honey what's going on hi katie oh my god exactly oh my god there's nothing that it's not you know a term for
Speaker 2beautiful i was hoping that i wouldn't get picked and i'm hoping i would get picked
Speaker 1as life would have it as love would have it it is what it is and to have the eyes to understand is it's um as open as your heart seems to be right now so uh i brought a worksheet okay and the church bells are ringing um so those of you new to the work the worksheet um that yoon is referring to is there are six questions on it and you identify on on time in your life where you were not at your best you were angry or hurt confused and you identify in that situation what you were thinking and believing there's six questions there on the worksheet and you just answer those questions it's a meditative process filling in that worksheet is um it takes stillness takes stillness honey what did you write for number one
Speaker 2i wrote i'm frustrated and anxious with myself because i'm not working and doing enough and i
Speaker 1find no interest in doing anything okay you find no interest in doing anything is it true
Speaker 2well i'm doing the work right now hmm
Speaker 3so it's not i'm not interested in doing anything i have no interest in doing anything yeah is it true all of you feeling that way or have felt that way
Speaker 1is it true contemplate that the ego would have you feel that way is it true contemplate that the ego would have you feel that way it'll offer up everything it'll offer all the proof through images and words meaning put on those images those that illusion of past future whatever it takes to focus on the identity in this situation i have no interest in doing anything
Speaker 3is it true contemplate that the ego will offer up everything it'll offer all the proof through images and words meaning put on those images those that illusion of past future whatever it takes to focus on the identity in this situation i have no interest in doing anything is it true contemplate that the ego will offer up everything it'll offer up everything it'll offer all the proof through images and words meaning put on those images those that illusion of past future whatever it takes to focus on the identity in this situation i have no interest in doing anything is it true contemplate that the ego will offer up everything it'll offer all the proof through images and words meaning put on those images those that illusion of past future whatever it takes to focus on the identity in this situation i have no interest in doing anything sweetheart
Speaker 1when you think the thought i have no interest in doing anything go back to a place where that was really
Speaker 3really depressing disheartening yes i'm doing my my work as well i experience hopeless yeah and uh
Speaker 2feel really depleted and you're hopeless and um disconnected from life and i think more than anything else i'm afraid to maybe more than even that now i'm not interested in anything i feel hinges of what i felt i'm afraid to be back in the moments like when i was depressed and feeling no interest or joy in life
Speaker 1yeah so you um your ego offers up that past depression you found your way out of and and that can be terrifying for some of us yeah
Speaker 2yeah now i feel a taste of it because i feel i'm less less joy i feel less interest than i i'm used to so um yeah there's this fear
Speaker 1and notice how the ego will offer up other people that are active
Speaker 3and it compares
Speaker 1that's the eagles yeah that's its food it compares you with those images in your head that you with no interest and depressed and them who can get up like you see normal people getting up going to work doing their thing happy in their life right but those people aren't people those that is the ego showing up in your mind's eye
Speaker 3it's a dream you see images of you this morning
Speaker 1no different
Speaker 3when you understand that that's an ego play it's not now that's how i know
Speaker 1i can't be here and there that can't be me here and there
Speaker 3one of them's imagination you can't be here and there that can't be me here and there just noticing. And right here, right now is as close to wisdom as we can get here.
Speaker 1Because any step beyond that goes beyond self. So as close as we can be here and free is to, notice the illusion, the difference between illusion and present.
Speaker 3I have no interest in doing anything. Okay, so. Yeah, that's not true.
Speaker 2If I don't compare to what I, I think I should look like when I'm interested is, I am interested in many small things,
Speaker 3many small moments.
Speaker 1I have no interest in doing anything. Turn it around. I do have interest in doing things. So continue to name them.
Speaker 2I'm, I'm, I'm interested to find out how I can get better. I'm interested when I meet some one I'm interested, what's going on with them. What's how they're feeling.
Speaker 3I'm interested in. I'm interested in. I'm interested. I'm interested in getting warmer when I'm cold, for example. Oh,
Speaker 1your interest could you could sit in one spot. and be fascinated by those interests. I'm interested if I'm hot or cold. I'm interested in where my eyes are focused.
Speaker 3I'm interested in... When I think that there's constantly this thought coming up
Speaker 2about all the images, how I'm not connecting to what I see, what I taste, that I'm not interested in my food even. And it makes me sad. It's just... Yeah. And it takes then away from my connection now. I can see that happening. And it's still happening. And it's so minor. I feel like my life is going so well generally. And I have so happy moments at the same time. It's not like it's all great. But then I get so desperate when it happens.
Speaker 1Yeah, the ego's just in full gloom when that's happening. I mean, it's not right, not wrong. It's just how it identifies. Attempts to identify as you object. As a new object.
Speaker 2Yes. That I identify. I identify with the sadness or whatever it is.
Speaker 1And also, I notice that you believe you're supposed to be interested in the taste of food.
Speaker 2Yes. Yes, I have an image of how I want myself to be. Like, I guess, too, no? I want myself to be motivated and passionate and driven all the time. Yes, very much.
Speaker 1Yeah, because the adrenaline running, you know, it's quite a high. Ego-induced. I am high. If I'm ego-induced. And if I'm high, then in duality, there's low. Right. Yes. Balance seems so boring.
Speaker 3It's balanced is a beautiful position. But I want to be high.
Speaker 1Duality, there's low. There's comparison. Maybe low is high without comparison.
Speaker 3Maybe it's a restful place. Low is high without a comparison.
Speaker 1Maybe low is high without comparison. Maybe it's not a terrible place without comparison. Maybe it's a very sweet spot.
Speaker 2There's a lot of stuff I'm telling myself also, like, with this knowledge. And like, it's just your mind that's telling you that this is bad. Yeah. And it's just because you're comparing that this is bad. And this is just what you've picked up from society about how a person, a good, successful person is supposed to be, that you have all these images. Yeah, I would question.
Speaker 1Yeah, I would question all of that. So, my friend. You're not doing enough in that situation where you were depressed.
Speaker 3You're not doing enough. Is it true? So, what is the situation when you were believing? There's many situations, specific one. Oh.
Speaker 2When I was like a teenager, when I was like 13, and very, very caught up in my mind, and very, without the tools that I have today, and having very difficult relationships with mom, who was very, who was very difficult, and school. And I felt so paralyzed by everything. And I felt so overwhelmed.
Speaker 1And... So, your mom wanted more from you?
Speaker 2Also, and it was just also very, I felt it as a very abusive relationship in certain periods.
Speaker 1So, you weren't doing enough, in your opinion, anyway, whether it was your mom's or not, you're not doing enough. Yes. Okay. So, imagine yourself in that situation. Where you're believing you're not doing enough at that age.
Speaker 3Do you see an image? And where is, where are you in that image? I'm in my room.
Speaker 2I'm sitting in front of my desk. And if... I feel I'm wasting my life. Like, I feel I'm not in my life.
Speaker 1Okay. So, you're not doing enough. Be there now. As that young lady. You're not doing enough.
Speaker 3Is it true?
Speaker 1Get really honest with yourself. Look as deeply as your heart will open to it. You're not doing enough. Is it true? Notice any comparison that happens with other people and all that, just notice that, and get back to yourself. You're not doing enough. This isn't about the rest of the world. You are not doing enough.
Speaker 3Is it true? Is it true? Oh, so hard to look through all the comparison. Oh. Oh. Oh. This is brutal. This is brutal. This is brutal. This is brutal.
Speaker 2This is brutal. I was doing everything that I could and more. I was doing too much. I was trying so hard. I was trying so hard. And just doing what I knew how to do.
Speaker 1So you're answering the third question. Right. How do you react? What happens when you think the thought I'm not doing enough? You're an overachiever. Right.
Speaker 2Yes, very much so.
Speaker 1Not right or wrong, but just like on a hamster on a wheel. Never enough.
Speaker 3And never being able to rest. Yeah. So when I believe it, I feel tense.
Speaker 2I feel never satisfied. I can never enjoy what I did and what I'm doing. There's little joy in that. Yeah. And it's very anxious. It's never enough. There's no such thing. And you know what? I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I'm not there. And... Okay.
Speaker 1So, Sunny, be there at that desk. Yes. Because that beautiful young lady, you're not doing enough.
Speaker 3Who would you be? This is a space you haven't recognized.
Speaker 1Who would you be? Who are you in that situation, is that 14-year-old at the desk? Who would you be without the thought, "I'm not doing enough"?
Speaker 3Who would you be if that thought could never occur to you, has never occurred to you, is
Speaker 1not occurring to you, will never occur to you, you don't even know that thought? Who are you in that situation? Who would you be in that situation without the thought, "I'm not doing enough"?
Speaker 2I'd say it's not my fault. Now what's going on with mom and this difficult relationship and her blaming me and attacking
Speaker 3me and that this is not because of me.
Speaker 2And that life is difficult sometimes doesn't mean, it does not mean that I'm doing something wrong. That these things happen. Without this thought, I know I let myself just figure out stuff.
Speaker 1Just don't even don't even figure it out. Just be there now.
Speaker 3Are you okay?
Speaker 1Without the thought, I'm not doing enough, I need to do more. I need to do something I need to do anything without.
Speaker 3Are you okay? Yeah. All right. Okay.
Speaker 2I got this. I even now when we're doing this, I have the thought, okay, I'm moving too slowly. I have to do it faster.
Speaker 3Oh my god.
Speaker 1So let's turn it around. I'm not doing enough in this situation in this moment in time. As that 14 year old at the desk, I am doing enough. Now where does your mind go there? When you look at examples, I am doing enough.
Speaker 2I am doing you know, I was, I was trying a lot to doing everything that I can to make this relationship work.
Speaker 1work at my mom um but a lot of them was their own and that's enough i mean you were doing everything you could i heard from you we're doing everything we can that's enough the ego wouldn't allow us to see that so clearly but you've done everything you could yes yeah
Speaker 3that's it and excelling is one of the things you used yes right until this day
Speaker 1that's you know doing life seeking love approval and appreciation
Speaker 3and under conditions where you just can't have it and if you have it when you have it it's not enough or they don't really mean it right right i'm not doing enough i am doing enough i am doing enough examples right i was very good at school
Speaker 2um i uh thought that i could go one year abroad to japan to do an exchange i learned japanese i learned english and then french in school um yes i achieved a lot
Speaker 1french it was difficult for me not your ultimate achievement which was to manipulate your mother's approval
Speaker 3yes you can try that on i am doing enough a relationship to my mom you mean well I'm just I'm really just asking
Speaker 2absolutely it's always about eventually love and belonging feeling belonging and feeling loved
Speaker 3and um mom and but everybody friends and I'm doing enough
Speaker 2I'm very deliberately cultivating
Speaker 3some very good friendships now and mom and me
Speaker 1this is so powerful to look at what are our motives for doing so much mm-hmm
Speaker 2yes yeah for me it's love and approval I think belonging feeling home feeling safe somehow somewhere
Speaker 4mm-hmm
Speaker 2like um yeah yeah yeah I moved from China to Germany when I was six and then um mom was the only person the main person and then she was also gone for a few years from my life so I think that's the main experience and that's the main issue for me like the main mm-hmm fear pain like being mm-hmm yeah
Speaker 1ah let's look at number two in that situation um what do you want in that situation at your desk at 14 14-ish mm-hmm what do you want when you think the thought I'm not going to do it I'm not going to do it I'm not going to do it I'm not doing enough
Speaker 3what do you want what did you write for number two
Speaker 2I wrote um I want me to be motivated and passionate and driven all the time
Speaker 1okay
Speaker 2so
Speaker 1consider that look at your life you've lived that way mm-hmm yeah so consider that is it true that you want to be motivated passionate and driven all the time your whole life would tell you that so now is a good time to stop and ask yourself is it true I'm so scared
Speaker 3is that what I want for me to be motivated and passionate and driven all the time mm-hmm I want to feel peace and I want to feel safe it's way more important for me
Speaker 2like my heart wants to feel safe and belonging and um accepted
Speaker 1so now notice notice how you react what happens when you think the thought I want me to be motivated passionate and driven all the time
Speaker 3mm-hmm it's um and you're sitting on your desk mm-hmm oh I'm so scared mm-hmm
Speaker 2I feel like I'm going after myself with a whip like um it's very stressful
Speaker 1and uh and you also see you also see images of the past and that deep dark depression
Speaker 3mm-hmm because in that situation
Speaker 1you feel like you're not working and have no interest in the world and you have no interest in doing anything
Speaker 3mm-hmm
Speaker 1that was what you wrote for number one yeah yes so you want you to be motivated passionate and driven all the time is it true are you sure
Speaker 3you're an expert
Speaker 1you know what it's like to be motivated passionate and driven all the time you're an expert in that department
Speaker 3is that what you want no yes
Speaker 2i think this is what i'm through this i'm gonna get my feeling safe and loved and belonging and being being worthy of that being valuable that so um yeah that's why i wanted i think and because i think okay if it's not working me that i have to do it harder the more of that was not working so i will get my my my sense of feeling safe
Speaker 1yeah that's the word driven all the time so notice what happens in your mind's eye and emotions when you think the thought i want me to be motivated passionate and driven all the time and your state of mind is um you have no interest in doing anything
Speaker 2oh it's a huge tension huge conflict like i feel i'm squeezed between like two walls and and and then the the more it's like this the i feel more guilty i feel more desperate i feel i put more pressure i want to do less stuff because i feel this is not
Speaker 1none yeah notice there's no one else in the room it's just mind's play yes yes and there's no bank account there there's no job security there there's no there's nothing there's just you in your head there's no past and future
Speaker 3other than in your head just be there now and experience this this turnaround
Speaker 1i don't want to be motivated passionate
Speaker 3and driven all the time in this moment now now live that turnaround i don't want me just now to be motivated passionate and driven i don't want me to be motivated and passionate and driven i don't want me to be motivated and passionate and driven i don't want me to be motivated and passionate and driven
Speaker 1i don't want me to be motivated and driven i don't want me to be motivated and driven i don't want me to be motivated and driven i don't want me to be motivated and driven i don't want me to be motivated and driven i don't want me to be motivated and driven i don't want me to be motivated and driven i don't want me to be motivated and driven i don't want me to be motivated and driven i don't want me to be motivated and driven i don't want me to be motivated and driven
Speaker 3i don't want me to be motivated and driven i don't want me to be motivated and driven i don't want me to be motivated and driven i don't want me to be motivated and driven i don't want me to be motivated and driven i don't want me to be motivated and driven i don't want me to be motivated and driven i don't want me to be motivated and driven i don't want me to be motivated and driven i don't want me to be motivated and driven i don't want me to be motivated and driven i don't want me to be motivated and driven i don't want me to be motivated and driven i don't want me to be motivated and driven i don't want me to be motivated and driven i don't want me to be motivated and driven i don't want me to be motivated and driven i don't want me to be motivated and driven i don't want me to be motivated and driven i don't want me to be motivated and driven i don't want me to be motivated and driven i don't want me to be motivated and driven i don't want me to be motivated and driven i don't want me to be motivated and driven i don't want me to be motivated and driven
Speaker 2i don't want me to be motivated and driven i don't want me to be motivated and driven i don't want me to be motivated and driven i don't want me to be motivated and driven i don't want me to be motivated and driven i don't want me to be motivated and driven i don't want me to be motivated and driven i don't want me to be motivated and driven i don't want me to be motivated and driven i don't want me to be motivated and driven i don't want me to be motivated and driven i don't want me to be motivated and driven i don't want me to be motivated and driven i don't want me to be motivated and driven
Speaker 3i don't want me to be motivated and driven i don't want me to be motivated and driven
Speaker 1i don't want me to be motivated and driven i don't want me to be motivated and driven i don't want me to be motivated and driven i don't want me to be motivated and driven i don't want me to be motivated and driven i don't want me to be motivated and driven i don't want me to be motivated and driven i don't want me to be motivated and driven
Speaker 3i don't want me to be motivated and driven i don't want me to be motivated and driven i don't want me to be motivated and driven i don't want me to be motivated and driven i don't want me to be motivated and driven i don't want me to be motivated and driven i don't want me to be motivated and driven i don't want me to be motivated and driven i don't want me to be motivated and driven i don't want me to be motivated and driven i don't want me to be motivated and driven i don't want me to be motivated and driven i don't want me to be motivated and driven i don't want me to be motivated and driven i don't want me to be motivated and driven i don't want me to be motivated and driven i don't want me to be motivated and driven i don't want me to be motivated and driven i don't want me to be motivated and driven i don't want me to be motivated and driven
Speaker 1i don't want me to be motivated and driven i don't want me to be motivated and driven i don't want me to be motivated and driven i don't want me to be motivated and driven i don't want me to be motivated and driven i don't want me to be motivated and driven i don't want me to be motivated and driven i don't want me to be motivated and driven i don't want me to be motivated and driven i don't want me to be motivated and driven i don't want me to be motivated and driven i don't want me to be motivated and driven i don't want me to be motivated and driven
Speaker 3i don't want me to be motivated and driven i don't want me to be motivated and driven i don't want me to be motivated and driven i don't want me to be motivated and driven i don't want me to be motivated and driven i don't want me to be motivated and driven i don't want me to be motivated and driven i don't want me to be motivated and driven i don't want me to be motivated and driven i don't want me to be motivated and driven i don't want me to be motivated and driven i don't want me to be motivated and driven i don't want me to be motivated and driven i don't want me to be motivated and driven i don't want me to be motivated and driven i don't want me to be motivated and driven i don't want me to be motivated and driven i don't want me to be motivated and driven i don't want me to be motivated and driven i don't want me to be motivated and driven i don't want me to be motivated and driven i don't want me to be motivated and driven
Speaker 2i don't want me to be motivated and driven i don't want me to be motivated and driven i don't want me to be motivated and driven i don't want me to be motivated and driven i don't want me to be motivated and driven i don't want me to be motivated and driven
Speaker 1i don't want me to be motivated and driven i don't want me to be motivated and driven i don't want me to be motivated and driven i don't want me to be motivated and driven i don't want me to be motivated and driven i don't want me to be motivated and driven i don't want me to be motivated and driven i don't want me to be motivated and driven i don't want me to be motivated and driven i don't want me to be motivated and driven i don't want me to be motivated and driven i don't want me to be motivated and driven i don't want me to be motivated and driven i don't want me to be motivated and driven
Speaker 2i don't want me to be motivated and driven i don't want me to be motivated and driven
Speaker 1i don't want me to be motivated and driven i don't want me to be motivated and driven
Speaker 2i don't want me to be motivated and driven i don't want me to be motivated and driven
Speaker 1i don't want me to be motivated and driven i don't want me to be motivated and driven i don't want me to be motivated and driven i don't want me to be motivated and driven i don't want me to be motivated and driven i don't want me to be motivated and driven i don't want me to be motivated and driven i don't want me to be motivated and driven i don't want me to be motivated and driven i don't want me to be motivated and driven i don't want me to be motivated and driven
Speaker 3i don't want me to be motivated and driven i don't want me to be motivated and driven i don't want me to be motivated and driven i don't want me to be motivated and driven i don't want me to be motivated and driven i don't want me to be motivated and driven i don't want me to be motivated and driven i don't want me to be motivated and driven i don't want me to be motivated and driven i don't want me to be motivated and driven i don't want me to be motivated and driven i don't want me to be motivated and driven i don't want me to be motivated and driven i don't want me to be motivated and driven
Speaker 1i don't want me to be motivated and driven i don't want me to be motivated and driven i don't want me to be motivated and driven i don't want me to be motivated and driven i don't want me to be motivated and driven i don't want me to be motivated and driven i don't want me to be motivated and driven i don't want me to be motivated and driven i don't want me to be motivated and driven i don't want me to be motivated and driven i don't want me to be motivated and driven i don't want me to be motivated and driven i don't want me to be motivated and driven i don't want me to be motivated and driven i don't want me to be motivated and driven i don't want me to be motivated and driven i don't want me to be motivated and driven i don't want me to be motivated and driven i don't want me to be motivated and driven
Speaker 3i don't want me to be motivated and driven
Speaker 1i don't want me to be motivated and driven i don't want me to be motivated and driven i don't want me to be motivated and driven i don't want me to be motivated and driven i don't want me to be motivated and driven i don't want me to be motivated and driven i don't want me to be motivated and driven i don't want me to be motivated and driven i don't want me to be motivated and driven i don't want me to be motivated and driven i don't want me to be motivated and driven i don't want me to be motivated and driven i don't want me to be motivated and driven i don't want me to be motivated and driven i don't want me to be motivated and driven i don't want me to be motivated and driven i don't want me to be motivated and driven i don't want me to be motivated and driven i don't want me to be motivated and driven i don't want me to be motivated and driven i don't want me to be motivated and driven
Speaker 3i don't want me to be motivated and driven i don't want me to be motivated and driven i don't want me to be motivated and driven i don't want me to be motivated and driven
Speaker 4i don't want me to be motivated and driven i don't want me to be motivated and driven
Speaker 1i don't want me to be motivated and driven i don't want me to be motivated and driven i don't want me to be motivated and driven i don't want me to be motivated and driven i don't want me to be motivated and driven i don't want me to be motivated and driven i don't want me to be motivated and driven i don't want me to be motivated and driven i don't want me to be motivated and driven i don't want me to be motivated and driven i don't want me to be motivated and driven i don't want me to be motivated and driven i don't want me to be motivated and driven i don't want me to be motivated and driven i don't want me to be motivated and driven i don't want me to be motivated and driven i don't want me to be motivated and driven i don't want me to be motivated and driven i don't want me to be motivated and driven i don't want me to be motivated and driven i don't want me to be motivated and driven i don't want me to be motivated and driven i don't want me to be motivated and driven i don't want me to be motivated and driven i don't want me to be motivated and driven i don't want me to be motivated and driven i don't want me to be motivated and driven i don't want me to be motivated and driven i don't want me to be motivated and driven i don't want me to be motivated and driven i don't want me to be motivated and driven i don't want me to be motivated and driven i don't want me to be motivated and driven i don't want me to be motivated and driven i don't want me to be motivated and driven i don't want me to be motivated and driven i don't want me to be motivated and driven i don't want me to be motivated and driven i don't want me to be motivated and driven i don't want me to be motivated and driven i don't want me to be motivated and driven i don't want me to be motivated and driven i don't want me to be motivated and driven
Speaker 2i don't want me to be motivated and driven i don't want me to be motivated and driven i don't want me to be motivated and driven i don't want me to be motivated and driven
Speaker 1i don't want me to be motivated and driven i don't want me to be motivated and driven i don't want me to be motivated and driven i don't want me to be motivated and driven
Speaker 2i don't want me to be motivated and driven i don't want me to be motivated and driven i don't want me to be motivated and driven i don't want me to be motivated and driven i don't want me to be motivated and driven i don't want me to be motivated and driven i don't want me to be motivated and driven i don't want me to be motivated and driven i don't want me to be motivated and driven i don't want me to be motivated and driven i don't want me to be motivated and driven i don't want me to be motivated and driven i don't want me to be motivated and driven i don't want me to be motivated and driven i don't want me to be motivated and driven i don't want me to be motivated and driven i don't want me to be motivated and driven i don't want me to be motivated and driven i don't want me to be motivated and driven i don't want me to be motivated and driven i don't want me to be motivated and driven
Speaker 1i don't want me to be motivated and driven i don't want me to be motivated and driven i don't want me to be motivated and driven i don't want me to be motivated and driven i don't want me to be motivated and driven i don't want me to be motivated and driven i don't want me to be motivated and driven i don't want me to be motivated and driven i don't want me to be motivated and driven i don't want me to be motivated and driven i don't want me to be motivated and driven i don't want me to be motivated and driven i don't want me to be motivated and driven i don't want me to be motivated and driven i don't want me to be motivated and driven i don't want me to be motivated and driven i don't want me to be motivated and driven i don't want me to be motivated and driven i don't want me to be motivated and driven i don't want me to be motivated and driven i don't want me to be motivated and driven i don't want me to be motivated and driven i don't want me to be motivated and driven
Speaker 3i don't want me to be motivated and driven i don't want me to be motivated and driven i don't want me to be motivated and driven i don't want me to be motivated and driven i don't want me to be motivated and driven i don't want me to be motivated and driven
Speaker 1i don't want me to be motivated and driven i don't want me to be motivated and driven i don't want me to be motivated and driven i don't want me to be motivated and driven i don't want me to be motivated and driven i don't want me to be motivated and driven i don't want me to be motivated and driven i don't want me to be motivated and driven i don't want me to be motivated and driven
Speaker 2i don't want me to be motivated and driven i don't want me to be motivated and driven i don't want me to be motivated and driven i don't want me to be motivated and driven i don't want me to be motivated and driven i don't want me to be motivated and driven i don't want me to be motivated and driven i don't want me to be motivated and driven i don't want me to be motivated and driven i don't want me to be motivated and driven i don't want me to be motivated and driven i don't want me to be motivated and driven i don't want me to be motivated and driven i don't want me to be motivated and driven i don't want me to be motivated and driven i don't want me to be motivated and driven i don't want me to be motivated and driven i don't want me to be motivated and driven i don't want me to be motivated and driven i don't want me to be motivated and driven i don't want me to be motivated and driven i don't want me to be motivated and driven i don't want me to be motivated and driven i don't want me to be motivated and driven i don't want me to be motivated and driven i don't want me to be motivated and driven i don't want me to be motivated and driven
Speaker 3i don't want me to be motivated and driven i don't want me to be motivated and driven i don't want me to be motivated and driven i don't want me to be motivated and driven i don't want me to be motivated and driven i don't want me to be motivated and driven
Speaker 1i don't want me to be motivated and driven i don't want me to be motivated and driven i don't want me to be motivated and driven i don't want me to be motivated and driven i don't want me to be motivated and driven i don't want me to be motivated and driven i don't want me to be motivated and driven i don't want me to be motivated and driven i don't want me to be motivated and driven i don't want me to be motivated and driven i don't want me to be motivated and driven i don't want me to be motivated and driven i don't want me to be motivated and driven i don't want me to be motivated and driven i don't want me to be motivated and driven i don't want me to be motivated and driven i don't want me to be motivated and driven i don't want me to be motivated and driven
Speaker 2i don't want me to be motivated and driven i don't want me to be motivated and driven i don't want me to be motivated and driven i don't want me to be motivated and driven i don't want me to be motivated and driven i don't want me to be motivated and driven i don't want me to be motivated and driven i don't want me to be motivated and driven i don't want me to be motivated and driven i don't want me to be motivated and driven i don't want me to be motivated and driven i don't want me to be motivated and driven
Speaker 1i don't want me to be motivated and driven i don't want me to be motivated and driven i don't want me to be motivated and driven i don't want me to be motivated and driven i don't want me to be motivated and driven
Speaker 2i don't want me to be motivated and driven
Speaker 1i don't want me to be motivated and driven i don't want me to be motivated and driven i don't want me to be motivated and driven i don't want me to be motivated and driven
Speaker 2i don't want me to be motivated and driven i don't want me to be motivated and driven i don't want me to be motivated and driven i don't want me to be motivated and driven i don't want me to be motivated and driven i don't want me to be motivated and driven i don't want me to be motivated and driven i don't want me to be motivated and driven i don't want me to be motivated and driven i don't want me to be motivated and driven i don't want me to be motivated and driven i don't want me to be motivated and driven i don't want me to be motivated and driven i don't want me to be motivated and driven i don't want me to be motivated and driven i don't want me to be motivated and driven i don't want me to be motivated and driven i don't want me to be motivated and driven i don't want me to be motivated and driven i don't want me to be motivated and driven i don't want me to be motivated and driven i don't want me to be motivated and driven i don't want me to be motivated and driven i don't want me to be motivated and driven i don't want me to be motivated and driven i don't want me to be motivated and driven i don't want me to be motivated and driven i don't want me to be motivated and driven i don't want me to be motivated and driven i don't want me to be motivated and driven i don't want me to be motivated and driven i don't want me to be motivated and driven Yeah. No. Am I going off? Okay.
Speaker 1No, we're just not always inspired, and then your ego jumps in. Yes. So you shouldn't be so moody, sensitive, lazy, and sad. Is it true? Look what's going on in your head of past, future, when you think the thought, I shouldn't be so moody, sensitive, lazy, and sad.
Speaker 2Yes, all the moments that I've been sad and unable to do stuff and been very helpless come back, like the fear of being going back.
Speaker 1So you see that.
Speaker 2Yes, I see that.
Speaker 1So turned around, I should be.
Speaker 2I should be moody. I should be so moody and sensitive and lazy and sad.
Speaker 1Yeah. Really? Well, you're hypnotized. The ego offers it up. You believe it. You're being tranced. There is a cause for your moodiness, your sensitivity, your laziness, your sadness. Look at what the ego is offering up of past, future. That's the life of a believer. You think that's you in the past. You think that's you in the future. And you can't be the dreamed and the dreamer in this illusion of time.
Speaker 2Yes. Of course, I would be moody when I look at all these images. And this is all that's there.
Speaker 1And you? You're sitting with the master of art when you're under the ego's trance. It's really good at what it pulls out of its little bag of tricks.
Speaker 3Yeah. Drama.
Speaker 1So all of you out there, you know, I shouldn't be so moody, sensitive. Lazy and sad. When I'm believing my thoughts, those images of past, future, and what I, what the ego believes onto them, that combination, you should be moody, sensitive, lazy, and sad. You are dreamed. You really think that's you.
Speaker 3But how can it be?
Speaker 1To be awake is to appreciate the ego's effort. It's just not you.
Speaker 3It's a dream. It's something to be tested, as we're doing now.
Speaker 1So you wrote, I shouldn't be so moody, sensitive, lazy, and sad, turned around. When I look at what's in my head, I should be.
Speaker 2When I look at what's going on in my head, I should be moody and sensitive and lazy and sad. Yeah. When I watch this movie, when I have all the past and my future worries, it's always going to be like this.
Speaker 1We love to sit in front of a television set and eat popcorn and get excited or sad or laugh. And that's all that's going on. And that's all that's going on as you sit in your desk. The screen is, you know, we point to the head. You know, the screen is here.
Speaker 3Yeah.
Speaker 1And it's very exciting and depressing, but we go a little far with it. We really think that's I.
Speaker 2Yeah, that's right. Yeah. It's good that it's only my job, drama and movies. Not to have it in. Yeah.
Speaker 1Yeah. No different. It's it's it's that's where it's going on.
Speaker 3That's that's a parent life. All the life you have ever lived or ever will live. Is shown in the moment now. Yes. The fake, the term fake news. Is relevant.
Speaker 1But it's so real. We can imagine biting into a big juicy lemon and actually feel it. There's no lemon there. It's just imagination.
Speaker 4All right.
Speaker 3Mm hmm. Fine. Moody.
Speaker 1I look to this clever, this clever ego I have no control over, nor do I want control over it to go to war with to go to war. That's something off with that. That's something we can never win.
Speaker 2Right. I'm trying to control it a lot. Like stop doing that. And then. Yeah.
Speaker 1Let's look at four. Okay. No. And also. What you wrote is I should be more disciplined.
Speaker 2Yeah.
Speaker 1That's like saying the ego should be more disciplined.
Speaker 2And that's exactly what I mean. I thought I think my thinking should be more disciplined because I feel as can see how this is causing the trouble. Yeah. Mm hmm. Yeah. So I'm going after that with a stick too. Yeah.
Speaker 1Yeah. And the ego cannot. It just cannot be controlled or disciplined. Oh, right. We can wake up to it. But that is the only thing I know that will shift it other than all of the addiction things we try here in this world. Which just puts us deeper into exactly what we're talking about. Now, the ultimate addiction is ego's addiction to live, but that can never be either. It's a state of mind that's not a, it's not object.
Speaker 3Let's look at four.
Speaker 2I need me to feel inspired, turned on, interested.
Speaker 1Okay. So you're sitting at the desk. You're believing your thoughts. You don't have any interest in anything and you have the thought. I need me to feel inspired, turned on, and interested. So is it true? Be there now. Check it out. Is it true? To be happy, you need to feel inspired, turned on, and interested. So relax into that.
Speaker 3Check it out. Is it true? No. Back then, to be okay and happy, I needed to feel, I needed to feel okay. I needed to feel I'm okay as I am.
Speaker 2I needed to feel accepted and safe.
Speaker 1I needed to feel I need me to feel inspired, turned on, and interested. Is it true? No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No.
Speaker 5No.
Speaker 1No. No. No. No. No.
Speaker 3No. Inspiration's coming. I don't feel inspired. I don't feel turned on or interested. But to be happy, I need me to feel inspired, turned on, and interested. Is it true? Yes. Let's turn it around.
Speaker 1I don't need me to feel inspired, turned on, and interested. So now just in your mind's eye, be there now.
Speaker 3And just look around.
Speaker 1Look around.
Speaker 3See what's in the room.
Speaker 1Just notice the already inspired. Like, do you see a book? Is there a picture on the wall? Is there a window? Yeah. This is inspiration. This is the great inspiration. Are the walls colored? Do you see a sky through the window? Look at your hands if you want to see something amazing. Experience the breath going in and out without invitation. Look at your hands if you want to see something amazing. Experience the breath going in and out without invitation. Look at your hands if you want to see something amazing. Look at your hands if you want to see something amazing. Look at your hands if you want to see something amazing. Look at your hands if you want to see something amazing. Look at your hands if you want to see something amazing. Look at your hands if you want to see something amazing. Look at your hands if you want to see something amazing. Look at your hands if you want to see something amazing. Experience the breath going in and out without invitation.
Speaker 3It's just a given. and notice other than what you're thinking and believing are you okay now continue to look at the gifts the already inspired inspiration beyond you skin and fingers and heartbeat to notice the inspired is it could be enough true art
Speaker 1I need me to feel inspired turned on and interested I don't need me to feel inspired turned on and interested
Speaker 2now I don't need me to feel inspired turned on and interested
Speaker 1it's okay the gift of inspiration is wherever you look at everything you look at drop your story and be an appreciator
Speaker 3of art yeah yeah to be inspired to be open to see that
Speaker 2and now I realize I was okay back then when without the thoughts and this is all I look for through all this hustle I feel feeling okay is what I look for so there's no need to
Speaker 3to raise all these demands that's like saying there's no reason to torture you it's like there's some you're like this
Speaker 1this slave driver demanding can't rest no time out
Speaker 3maybe sleep okay and I don't need me to feel inspired to be happy
Speaker 1I don't need me to feel inspired turned on and interested just now
Speaker 4could happen
Speaker 1I can't stop it
Speaker 3but it's not my business I don't need me to feel inspired I don't need me to feel inspired I don't need me to feel inspired I don't need me to feel inspired I don't need me to feel inspired I don't need me to feel inspired I don't need me to feel inspired I don't need me to feel inspired I don't need me to feel inspired I don't need me to feel inspired I don't need me to feel inspired I don't need me to feel inspired I don't need me to feel inspired I don't need me to feel inspired I don't need me to feel inspired I don't need me to feel inspired I don't need me to feel inspired
Speaker 1an open mind is a receiver of inspiration and wisdom the I know mind is is closed and
Speaker 3uninspired yes I'm not open to receive
Speaker 2what what's coming it's not my job it's not my job it's not my job it's not my job let's look at five what do you think of her in this situation you're in this too sensitive unstable and falling back into unhealthy and sad and depressed patterns you're not doing something wrong you're not just lazy you're not trying hard enough
Speaker 1okay so so if you try hard enough you will become inspired so in that situation I'm too
Speaker 2and even that situation I know that it's not true that it's not about trying hard enough by now I know that and still like what's going on what else can I do okay I'm just going to try harder I'm aware
Speaker 1what else can you do not try harder
Speaker 2right yeah it is trying hard enough you're just trying too hard yes
Speaker 1and the arrogance of thinking that anytime you've been inspired with something you did as opposed to just receiving the gift of inspiration
Speaker 2I know I know
Speaker 1yeah
Speaker 3no artist could truly say I did it it's such a huge weight
Speaker 2and responsibility to relieve myself of to say this is not my responsibility how how I was inspired I am or how how good this thing becomes in the end this piece of whatever yeah and without this this this this much more open to receive and to play and then actually make something that is good
Speaker 1and there is a kind of joy and a relaxed mellowness and even happiness yeah and my sin yes and sitting in what you have accomplished without and and allowing that to be enough
Speaker 3in that
Speaker 1situation
Speaker 2and to also actually be present in the process and be able to enjoy the process
Speaker 3yeah an appreciator of the gift yeah yeah and not the doer yeah let's look at six
Speaker 1you know let's look at five again where you have I am too sensitive unstable just just be present in that situation in your mind's eye and my thoughts are my thinking is
Speaker 3and try on what you wrote
Speaker 2my thinking is too sensitive and unstable and falling back into unhealthy sad depressed patterns my thinking is doing something wrong my thinking is just lazy and trying not trying hard enough I don't know I think I think there's a lot what I just said that I tried to fix my thinking yeah
Speaker 1those are your thoughts that doesn't make it true those are thoughts and they're really not yours they're just there you attach to them meaning you believe them that's how identity apparent identity is that illusion is of yourself of a self is established so much my thoughts about my work
Speaker 2yeah
Speaker 1are too sensitive yeah in this situation in this moment unstable they're not about the present falling back in unhealthy sad depressed patterns that's the past that's not you doing something wrong it's not it's not present the ego is never right and too lazily to notice that's a dream it's that's the ego at work that's it's it's being very creative you're gonna appreciate it talent and my thoughts you know not trying I'm not trying hard enough to anyway I'll leave you to play with number five because that's a very fascinating list
Speaker 6like
Speaker 1I what happens is I am not too sensitive unstable if I'm
Speaker 3not believing my thoughts
Speaker 2when I when I do the my thinking is too sensitive and falling back and doing something wrong I know that very like I know that but I feel it's not helping me when I do this turnaround because I feel now I'm trying to fix my thinking like we said before
Speaker 1yeah so so um so if if it doesn't if it doesn't flow for you then just notice stay away from it if it doesn't apply it doesn't apply the last thing this work asks for is to force that's the opposite of what we're doing here inquiry takes a lot of courage it's um it takes stillness yeah it's These turnarounds are something, you know, my thoughts, my thinking about inspiration. Anyway, you'll find your way with it. And it's so personal. We all find our way with it. So, six.
Speaker 2I don't ever want to feel depressed, lost, sad, purposeless. And have no interest in life again.
Speaker 1I'm willing to.
Speaker 2I'm willing to feel depressed, lost, sad, purposeless. And I'm willing to have no interest in life again.
Speaker 1Yeah. Because that is a deep trance. That's a trance. And the only way I know to deal with it is to question it. Is to look it in the face and question it. And identify it, just as you've done. Look it in the face and question it. Not with the, not in any sense of wanting to be right at all.
Speaker 3I just want to know. I just want to know what is true and what is false. Not to the world. But to me. When I look at this egoic thinking. That would create misery. Depression. Fear. Fear. So.
Speaker 1I'm willing to. I look forward to.
Speaker 2I look forward to feel depressed. Lost. Sad. Purposeless. And to have no interest in life again. That was hard.
Speaker 1Yeah. And if you, if you sit in that.
Speaker 3And just move it from your head to paper. And question it.
Speaker 2Even next time I meet it. Yeah.
Speaker 3Yeah.
Speaker 1Because it chances are, or there is a chance. It just might not be true. You're thinking and believing.
Speaker 3So we live in, you know, like self deception. deceiving ourselves.
Speaker 1We don't stop to notice what we're thinking and question it. The ego's job is to deceive.
Speaker 3Not that it's mean or unkind. It's just fighting for its life.
Speaker 1Mind is so powerful, it would create an entire world, but it cannot create life. Yoon, thank you, honey. What an interesting worksheet.
Speaker 2I feel like all my life is in there. That's why it's so hard to grasp all those other things. A lot of stuff. Thank you so much.
Speaker 1Thank you, sweetie. Thank you for your life. In our life. Wow. Jonathan, honey, your takeaway, our teacher, Yoon today. Thank you, Dave.
Speaker 7Hi, can you hear me?
Speaker 1Yes.
Speaker 7Oh, wow. I just saw myself in Yoon. I teach workshops and I saw the performance and how the trying is this amazing invitation to relax and to expressing and communicating something intrinsic rather than something that's trying to be fabricated out of nothing. And I just, just felt my heart and Yoon's heart be really the same, the same being.
Speaker 3Yeah, yeah, yeah. Thank you, Jonathan. Thank you. Sarah. I'm sorry. I was crying. I think I took away from this.
Speaker 6How much the value that I have in my life.
Speaker 3I think I took away from this.
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Speaker 1How much the value that I have in my life. How much the value that I have in my life. How much the value that I have in my life. How much the value that I have in my life. How much the value that I have in my life. How much the value that I have in my life. How much the value that I have in my life. How much the value that I have in my life. How much the value that I have in my life. How much the value that I have in my life. How much the value that I have in my life. How much the value that I have in my life. How much the value that I have in my life. How much the value that I have in my life. How much the value that I have in my life. How much the value that I have in my life. How much the value that I have in my life. How much the value that I have in my life. How much the value that I have in my life. How much the value that I have in my life. How much the value that I have in my life. How much the value that I have in my life. How much the value that I have in my life. How much the value that I have in my life. How much the value that I have in my life. How much the value that I have in my life. How much the value that I have in my life. How much the value that I have in my life. How much the value that I have in my life. How much the value that I have in my life. How much the value that I have in my life. How much the value that I have in my life.
Speaker 6How much the value that I have in my life. How much the value that I have in my life. How much the value that I have in my life. How much the value that I have in my life. How much the value that I have in my life. How much the value that I have in my life. How much the value that I have in my life. How much the value that I have in my life. How much the value that I have in my life. How much the value that I have in my life. How much the value that I have in my life. How much the value that I have in my life. How much the value that I have in my life. How much the value that I have in my life. How much the value that I have in my life. How much the value that I have in my life. How much the value that I have in my life. How much the value that I have in my life. How much the value that I have in my life. How much the value that I have in my life. How much the value that I have in my life. How much the value that I have in my life. How much the value that I have in my life. How much the value that I have in my life. How much the value that I have in my life. How much the value that I have in my life. How much the value that I have in my life. How much the value that I have in my life. How much the value that I have in my life. How much the value that I have in my life.
Speaker 1How much the value that I have in my life. How much the value that I have in my life. How much the value that I have in my life. How much the value that I have in my life. How much the value that I have in my life. How much the value that I have in my life. How much the value that I have in my life. How much the value that I have in my life. How much the value that I have in my life.
Speaker 6How much the value that I have in my life.
Speaker 1How much the value that I have in my life.
Speaker 6How much the value that I have in my life. How much the value that I have in my life. How much the value that I have in my life. How much the value that I have in my life. How much the value that I have in my life. How much the value that I have in my life. How much the value that I have in my life.
Speaker 1How much the value that I have in my life. How much the value that I have in my life. How much the value that I have in my life. How much the value that I have in my life. How much the value that I have in my life. How much the value that I have in my life. How much the value that I have in my life. How much the value that I have in my life. How much the value that I have in my life. How much the value that I have in my life. How much the value that I have in my life.
Speaker 5How much the value that I have in my life. How much the value that I have in my life. How much the value that I have in my life. How much the value that I have in my life. How much the value that I have in my life. How much the value that I have in my life. How much the value that I have in my life. How much the value that I have in my life.
Speaker 4How much the value that I have in my life.
Speaker 5How much the value that I have in my life. How much the value that I have in my life. How much the value that I have in my life. How much the value that I have in my life. How much the value that I have in my life.
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Speaker 3How much the value that I have in my life. How much the value that I have in my life. How much the value that I have in my life. How much the value that I have in my life. How much the value that I have in my life. How much the value that I have in my life. How much the value that I have in my life. How much the value that I have in my life. How much the value that I have in my life. How much the value that I have in my life. How much the value that I have in my life. How much the value that I have in my life. How much the value that I have in my life. How much the value that I have in my life. How much the value that I have in my life. How much the value that I have in my life. How much the value that I have in my life. How much the value that I have in my life. How much the value that I have in my life. How much the value that I have in my life.
Speaker 1How much the value that I have in my life. How much the value that I have in my life. How much the value that I have in my life. How much the value that I have in my life. How much the value that I have in my life. How much the value that I have in my life. How much the value that I have in my life. How much the value that I have in my life. How much the value that I have in my life. How much the value that I have in my life. How much the value that I have in my life. How much the value that I have in my life. How much the value that I have in my life. How much the value that I have in my life. How much the value that I have in my life. How much the value that I have in my life.
Speaker 8How much the value that I have in my life. How much the value that I have in my life. How much the value that I have in my life. Um, so if the ego really is our friend and it's serving up stuff for us to look at, right. So if it serves up depression, um, we can, I was thinking I could look at that as a, as a present, you know, like what is this depression telling me? And as an artist, it's like, um, to slow down, maybe, maybe be able to do, um, depressing, um, dialogue. I mean, it's, for me, it seems like it's serving up stuff that's good for us. We have to look at there's stuff that we have to look at. And as an artist, it's like some of the greatest works have come out of depression. So, I mean, there's something there. I don't know. I can't figure it out quite, but to question it and to look at it instead of fighting it, ah, depression, no, no, no. But to say, yeah, this is what I need right now.
Speaker 1Thank you. Thank you, sweetheart. Andrea.
Speaker 9Hi, Katie.
Speaker 1Hi, Andrea.
Speaker 9Hi. Thank you so much for this work. And, uh, thank you again for writing it. It has, uh, it's a, a worksheet that I had not written that I had been needing this one for over a year and a half now, uh, have been in the same situation. And, uh. And, um, yesterday I had, uh, a moment of grace where I woke up from the nap and I realized that, wow, um, this is perfect. I am in the right place. Everything. I had this moment of acceptance and I realized that that acceptance is a self-love and was the very first time of this recognition of, uh, my whole life. I have been telling me the story, even when I'm working. That I'm in the wrong place, the wrong time. I'm not making the right choices. Even if I'm working, I'm thinking I should be working another place or I should be doing something else. So, um, at that moment of grace yesterday, I was like, wow, I have been self hating for so long that this is so new, you know, is a new place to be. Of course, you know, it was just a moment and right after the ego took over and was gone, but I had that.
Speaker 1You have that reference that is yours. That is your reference for home base. Thank you so much, Katie. The ego would say anything to keep you from, from being there again, but there is immovable.
Speaker 3That doesn't what you experienced, that's yours. Thank you for it. Yeah. Realizing the violence, you know, I was really strong.
Speaker 1It was like, wow, I, nobody's doing this to me. I am allowing this violence to happen constantly by just believing this, that I'm not making the right choices that I am. I was, you know, I'm here, but I could, I should be there. I'm doing this, but I should be doing this.
Speaker 9I'm not making the right choices that I, I'm always, you know, I'm here, but I could, I should be there. Or I I'm doing this, but I should be doing this. I'm not making the right choices that I, I'm always, you know, I'm here, but I could, I should be there. Or I I'm doing this, but I should be doing this. I'm doing this other thing. And how violent that is. It was amazing to have that realization, what I allow myself to go through.
Speaker 1Honey, thank you for sharing that with us. Thank you. Thank you so much. Stefano. Hi, Katie.
Speaker 10Hi, Stefano. Hi, Katie. I'm very grateful for the work that happened today. It's something that touched me really in, in deep and how trustful was happening to us because just before the Zoom, I was, I take notes about my faults to help me to identify and faults like I should do more, I should do things like that. The last was I should be happy and grateful for everything I have. I was saying to myself, but I am not, so, you know, and that helped me a lot. You pointing to, to the fact to be kinder and trying to learn in a way I'm, I'm trying to learn, to be kind also when I find myself not being, believing totally to the terror, creator so was just thanks again young for this courage and if you can say something more how or tips about letting these terrorists exist and uh slowly how can we learn more to see that is a movie yeah
Speaker 1we are the director in a way but we don't know yeah so i if i see the the ego as a terrorist if i see the ego that way then i invite that terrorist to tell me everything that it thinks and i would like to see the ego as a terrorist and i would like to see the ego as a terrorist and i would like to see the ego as a terrorist and i would like to see the ego as a terrorist and i would like to see the ego as a terrorist and i would like to see the ego as a terrorist and i would like to see the ego as a terrorist and i would like to see the ego as a terrorist and i would like to see the ego as a terrorist and i would like to see the ego as a terrorist and i would like to see the ego as a terrorist and i would like to see the ego as a terrorist and i would like to see the ego as a terrorist and i would like to see the ego as a terrorist i write it down on that judge and i would like to see the ego as a terrorist and i would like to see the ego as a terrorist and i write it down on that judge and i would like to see the ego as a terrorist and i would like to see the ego as a terrorist and i write it down on that judge and i would like to see the ego as a terrorist and i write it down on that judge your neighbor worksheet your neighbor worksheet your neighbor worksheet and then i question it and then i question it and then i question it so the way only way i can so the way only way i can so the way only way i can can live with a terrorist is to can live with a terrorist is to can live with a terrorist is to understand the terrorist understand the terrorist
Speaker 10understand the terrorist and to know it's just a way understand the terrorist and to know it's just a way and to know it's just a way the ego uses is not who really is the ego uses is not who really is
Speaker 1the ego uses is not who really is it says something terrible is going to it says something terrible is going to it says something terrible is going to happen happen happen for example for example for example and if the ego is a terror something and if the ego is a terror something and if the ego is a terror something terrible is going to happen and it proves terrible is going to happen and it proves terrible is going to happen and it proves it through the images and all of that it through the images and all of that it through the images and all of that and i just say sweetheart and i just say sweetheart and i just say sweetheart with all the love in my heart sweetheart with all the love in my heart sweetheart Oh, honey, is it true? An ego is like your own baby. It's not an enemy. It's misunderstood. So is it true something terrible is going to happen? And it'll scream, yes, yes, yes, and give all the proof through those past, future. It's so real. So how do I react when I believe the thought? And who would I be without it? And then turned around, something wonderful is going to happen. Well, it already has. I had courage to face the enemy. What we see is the enemy. I had courage to chase the enemy enough. I can see that that is not I. That that is an unloved part of me. And this is a coming together. And there's only, we go beyond the state of duality to merging. And that's the power of love. Like the ego finally just gets quiet. And it can rest because you've given it a home in your heart.
Speaker 10War is like to refute myself. It's like to refuse myself to.
Speaker 1Yes. Yes. Just because the way.
Speaker 10One of my. One of my thoughts about others. Often. Yeah. Yeah. They don't love me. They don't accept me. I'm not enough. Yeah. In this way.
Speaker 1Yeah. Exactly. So, and that belongs on paper. That's respectful. That really brings the ego into your life. From. From your head to paper. And then it's, it all starts to unravel. It's.
Speaker 3Love is the power. The ego is false.
Speaker 1But it'll do whatever it takes to survive as object.
Speaker 10So gentlemen. I give you Rome. I give you Rome. And I want to listen to you.
Speaker 4Yeah.
Speaker 10Whatever you have to say. I want to listen.
Speaker 4Yeah.
Speaker 10Just to give attention.
Speaker 4Yeah.
Speaker 10In this way.
Speaker 1Yes.
Speaker 10Yeah. Thank you so much.
Speaker 1And to listen to the apparent enemy. Is the most. Is what we're doing in this process. And it's, it's a, it's just you sitting with you and that enemy. It's oh, honey, thank you for, thank you for raising your hand. You're understanding. Thank you so much. It's so dear. Thank you, Lorraine.
Speaker 11Hi, Byron Katie. Hi, Lorraine. Oh, I spent the whole time crying. Thank you. Young. Um, I'm a fellow creative, a filmmaker who somehow thinks that it's. Okay. To like juggle finishing a film, finishing, editing a film and relocating to a completely different continent with four dogs while owning a home and having Airbnb guests. And why can't I do all that? So this really, oh my goodness, it really hit me. And then as you were talking a couple of minutes ago, okay, so one of the characters in the film that I'm making and I'm editing it is me. And so I, and I need to think about this more, but it's, it's like, I'm taking bits of film where I see me and I'm editing this part and that part. And oh, no, Lorraine doesn't, she shouldn't say that right there. So we're going to have her say that there. And, and I am really going to be thinking about this because this, this, this is all, it's all ego and, you know, and how much do we do that in our regular lives anyway? I know. I just, the whole thing, this whole session has been fascinating. Thank you.
Speaker 1Oh, and you, that beautiful creative mind of yours. Thank you for sharing it with us.
Speaker 12Oh, Lance. Hi, Katie. Hi, Lance. Oh man. Thank you so much for doing this. I'm so glad you're in my life. Thank you. Thank you. Such a big influence. And Yoon's work today has been a lifelong trance that I, I feel like I, I have and have had all my life. And I think I'm similar to her in that, you know, what people have told me, because I like to paint, I like to draw, I like to dance, I like to write, I have a full time job. I'm doing social justice work. And, you know, people have told me, well, I had a teacher, who told me you love too many things. You love too many things. And, and part of the trance part of the frustration is that trance of there's not enough hours in the day. There's not enough time in the day. And the realization that that's not possible. That's not possible. There's only so many minutes, there's only so much time in the day. And, there's only so much time in the day. And there's only so much time in the day. There's only so much time in the day. And there's only so much time in the day. And there's only so much time in the day. Years ago, I did a, the Course in Miracles. And one of the meditations that really stuck with me is that was, you need do nothing. You need do nothing. And it's beautiful. It's beautiful. And, you know, even with so much of the work that I'm doing, like some of the social justice work, you, you get so passionate about it, almost like I'm going to save the frickin world. Yeah. And I think about enlightened masters or people who seem to be getting enlightened and some like the Buddha become the CEOs of these great organizations. And then some become, you know, go to the mountains and become, they stop talking and then people just go to them. And so I think sometimes doing nothing can be just as powerful as doing 10,000 things.
Speaker 5Yeah. Yeah.
Speaker 12But ultimately where I'm going with this is I'm, I'm turning 60 this year and I don't want to spend the rest of my, the last couple of decades of my life in this trance of not being enough. I don't want to be in this trance of I'll be happy when I get the degree or when I make the great painting or when I write my book or when I, you know, it's like, it's endless. And some of my most magical days have been when I started my day meditating and thought, I wonder what I'll do today. And just watched, I had one magical day where it's like, Oh my God, I'm going to the park. And I had the most magical day. It just unfolded. And I think you can even have productive days like that, you know, where I'm going to do 10,000 things today. And I wonder what I'll do. And then just watch. So thank you for this work. It was, this is like a life theme for me. So it was really powerful.
Speaker 1You know, we need do nothing, which is what we're doing all the time. Catch up with that just makes sense. Like we need do nothing to catch up with that is correct.
Speaker 4I love that.
Speaker 1Yeah. Yeah. You all understand, you know, I'm, I'm going to do nothing as I just remembered from the past I'm doing nothing in the future is where I'm going to do it. You see, so there are three means their past, present, future. So if I take away those illusions, you know, it's, it's something is false. So I'm always doing nothing. This work helps us catch up with, well, I'm just going to call it something beautiful that can sound like care. Nothing, nothing, nothing. You know, it's, it's, it doesn't. Maybe that nothing is everything. And what I can say is, whatever my experience is, it is the, the opposite of fear
Speaker 3and war with anyone or anything.
Speaker 12That's what I, that's what I really, really want.
Speaker 1Yeah.
Speaker 12With all this, all this crazy activity.
Speaker 1Yeah. And it's what you've already got. So your practice, your life will show that up. Yeah. You know, this, this life of self-inquiry.
Speaker 12And I know that's true. You know, I know that when I've meditated, when I'm like, one of my favorite meditations is just meditating on I am here and how all those words mean the same thing. I am here. And in that inquiry, is that enough?
Speaker 3And it's enough. It's everything.
Speaker 1If that's all that left, if that's all that's left, would you question it? I am enough. Is it true? Anyway, sweetheart, I leave you with that. And, and, and thank you all for our time together today. Thank you for listening. Thank you for taking it in. Thank you for a kinder world. I love that you join me live every Monday, Tuesday, and Wednesday from 9:00 to 10:00 AM. Pacific time at home with bk.com. Join me there live. Let's do the work.
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