#527 - We Were In A Bank Robbery!

pink panther is here coach and spotify are teaming up to bring music and style together and they want you to be part of it grab your friends and head to the tabby tour hitting cities around the country with live performances from special artists exclusive experiences and personalized products and discover custom playlists on spotify but just for you based on who you are and how you listen live your story with coach learn more at coach.com welcome back to the basement welcome back to the basement yard you're wearing that halloween merch baby i'm right i know it i think this is coming out on patreon it's before halloween if it's you know it's after so sorry no i mean it's been out don't it's been yelling me shop.sandwich no one's yelling at you don't Yo, don't yell at me. No one's yelling at you. It is out. I like this a lot. I also like, like, it's a very soft, good shirt. You like it? I love good shirts. Yeah. You know, because if they're too hard shirts, don't like hard shirts. Like construction paper. You know what I don't like? When shirts have, like, collars that are real thick. I got a thick neck. Like, I wouldn't say you have a thick neck. No, I got a thick neck. I got a big neck. Definitely don't have a pencil neck. I mean, I definitely don't have a pencil neck. I think this is a good one. Like, if it's too tight, if it's too tight around it, like, if it's too thick, too tight, and then it makes it feel like it's, like, choking me. I don't like the. That's why I'm not a, like, I have a turtleneck, but I'm not a big turtleneck guy. I like to wear it, but I don't think it, I can't, it doesn't, I can't pull it off. You don't pull it off. No. No offense. Well, I'm offended by it. Like, I can say it. I'm not saying, no, no, no, no, no. Like, you don't look bad, but, like, you're not, you don't, you don't have turtleneck face. Like, turtleneck face is not your face. You have, you have a, like, v-neck face. I, that is so offensive. It's insane. It's more offensive? V-neck face? Is v-neck face bad? What am I, Simon Cowell? No. He has, I probably shouldn't say anything because he got into an accident about, like, a year and change ago. He just wears a lot of v-necks. He does. Deep V's, too. Yeah. Deep V's. What's the deepest V you've ever owned? I don't know. I actually saw a picture the other day. Why did I see that? Oh, maybe someone posted it. It was like, oh, I met Joe years ago, and I was wearing a v-neck, like, in public. Why would you do that? I don't know. I used to wear v-necks. I like v-neck tees. I don't hate them. I, my dad once got me a v-neck tee, like, a set of v-neck tees from Columbia. The deepest, widest V you could have ever fucking imagined on a shirt. Yeah, it's Colombian, yeah. And he was like, here, this is the size XL. And it was like a medium on me. I don't know what, what they got going on. They got small people over there in Columbia. Do they? I guess. But the V started here. No, shoulder V? Dude, it was a wide V. Oh, no. And it fucking came down to, like, right here. Showed your tits off. Basically, I had boobs. Nice. And it was pretty deep. Becca hated the shirt. You ever put a bra on? I don't, maybe. I don't know. I don't think so. You've never put a bra on? Have you put a bra on? I have. How did it fit? You said that like it was, like, recent. No, no, no, not recent. How did it fit? Uh, it wasn't recent. It wasn't great. They were a little more busty than I was. Busty. He said that. He's using porn terminology. Yeah, she was a little bit more of a petite, busty teen than me. Yeah, sorry. I put that bra on. It was for a big, big, petite, big, petite co-ed. Yeah, I don't think, I'm sure I have put on a bra. I put a bra on. It was lace. To be fun? Yeah, I didn't put it on because I was, like, trying to keep my tits in order. Well, no, duh. Yeah, I mean, but, like, I was like, look at that prank. Look, ha, ha, ha, I got boobies. Yeah, for a second. And then I was like, oh, that's kind of cool. Really? I don't remember liking it. I don't remember wearing it, so I guess I did. High heels? You ever wear high heels? I have worn high heels, yeah. Oh, yeah, you did the drag show. I did a drag show in college, and. I wear high heels. It's tough walking in those things. Holy shit, man. Gotta say. It's tough. I don't know. That's an insane thing to just, like, do willingly. It's a wild choice, I would say. To walk like this. Why? To walk on your tippy toes. Yeah. It's just, and it's like, it's such a skinny shoe. I would feel so off balance the entire time. How do you dance in that? I like, shoes are a sense of comfort for me. Like, I feel safe in shoes. You know what I'm saying? Like, my foot is in a whole shoe. When I'm in, like, sandals, or if I was in heels, I'd feel like I'm, like, like the Pope riding around in, like, a top-down. Something bad's gonna happen. Some JFK shit. Yeah. I mean, I just don't, I just don't get. I mean, it does do something to a leg. To a woman's leg? Yeah, I mean, I'm not, I'm not, I'm good with it over there. I don't need it on my dogs. Yeah, I don't need it. I don't need it to make my legs. I don't need my legs. My legs are fine. I don't need my legs sexy. Sexy? Yeah. Who doesn't see my sexy legs? Yeah, I mean, no one sees those legs. You don't really pull them out too often. I don't pull them out often. It's like Haley's Comet over there. It is like Haley's Comet, mainly because my legs are mostly scars. I know you've scoffed at me for that before, and people love bringing that up. It is true. I confirmed that it isn't, and that's fine. I didn't see a single scar on your legs. Let's go there. Well, because they're covered by hair. If I were to put my leg right there in your fucking face right now, and you were to parse through my hairs, you would see quite a bit of scarring. I wouldn't. Yes, you would. My dad won Mr. Sexy Legs on a cruise once. Your dad won Mr. Sexy Legs? Yeah. Frank's got his leg out. Also, parse through. I can see your whole leg. No, brother, look. Point one out. That's one. That's from your surgery. There isn't anything. There is. Where? There's one. Frank, that's not even a scar. There's another. Just, like, parse through. You're scratching your legs. Stop scratching them. Parse through. You're also shiny like a sardine. What's with that? Why are you calling me a sardine? Because you're kind of shiny like a sardine. Because my legs are probably dry. But, like, there's another one right there. Frank, that is an ingrown hair, and you just scratched it out. Was that a pebble that just came out of you? I'm uncomfortable. I'm uncomfortable. Well, you see what I mean. No. Your leg is one scar. No, I have several scars. It's hard to see. As someone that has had their legs shaved and waxed, I can confirm there is quite a bit of scarring on there. And you should be, like, supportive of me. Did I ever show you my big hair? I got one big hair, and I love it because I play with it. But it always grows back, but I always try to rip it out. Look at my one big hair. I can see it from here. It's like when you can see the wall of China from space. I can see your one big hair on your white-ass arm. Look how big that hair is. That's a big hair. It's this tall. Like, I'm touching the top of it. I know you guys can't see it. You can't see it. But I got a big-ass hair, and it's thick, and she's strong, too. Really? Yeah. Pull that bitch out. Well, I like to keep it. I don't know if I have anything that cool. I like to keep it. You have hairless arms. Look at your arms. Don't talk about my arms, dude. Look at the top of your arms. It's so hairless. Like a butt. Butt arms. First of all, your whole body is like a butt. Yeah, it is. Yeah, because you have zero hair, dude. Yes, it is. It is. Let's see your butt. Is your butt like your hair? Do you have butt hair? No. Mine either. Pull your butt out. I can't. Yeah, you can't. Mine either. I mean, most of my hair is, like, in the hidden regions. Right. But, like. That's crazy. Yeah, I guess I never realized how hairless my arms are. That's interesting. I mean, there's little hairs. You can see them. If you get up close, you can see the little hairs. But you don't have big, strong, girthy ones like me. You have un-strong, girthy one. Yeah, but it counts for a lot. Every now and then, I get one long hair in my mustache. It just goes the opposite way. Me too. And it goes in my nose, and I'm like, get the fuck out of there. I don't like it. Yo, I hate that. I wake up in the morning, I look like a fucking dog. And my shit is like. Yeah, I have that every now and then, too. I also don't have much. I can, like, count the hairs on my chest. The chairs. The chairs on my hest. I have, like. Yeah, I have, like, just a little, like, brown shirt. They're, like, scattered. Yeah. They're, like, scattered like Pikmin. When you first started getting facial hair, did you keep just a chin? Oh, yeah. Me too. I recently saw a picture of me that you took with a camera you got in your basement. And I look like a fucking piece of shit. Is it when you were like this? Yeah. And it's just. Yes, yeah. And I'm wearing a backwards hat. Yeah. And it's just, like, I would only let this grow out. Right. I remember, because that was the only thing that, like, grew consistently. I did the same thing. And I look like an idiot. I. Yes. I look so stupid. But. The soul patch, man. You know, it's what we had. It's what we had going for us. I think at one point I had what resembled a goatee, which is terrifying. I mean, I've done just this. You've done a goat? You've goated? There's episodes of me having done it. I look like, you know, like a really less talented Lin-Manuel Miranda. You know? Yeah. Yeah, what? Yeah, what? Yes, you don't have an Emmy. Okay. That is fair. I do not. Yet? Yet. Maybe. You could have one one day. We could have one one day. You could also. But maybe also we. Sure. But hopefully me. But also, I mean. I don't know. Yep. The Emmys, they announced it. that they were going to do like best podcast which is oh yeah yeah yeah that's why i was thinking well we ain't getting that we ain't getting that can you imagine that can you imagine it's like best podcast and it's like you know uh uh britney broski for the the court but what's the what what's her show oh uh the broski report the broski report but there's also the one where she does like the knights of the round table oh yeah well she's like a queen yeah it's really good damn i want to wear a fucking crown yeah and then there's like amy poehler good hang and then us right yeah won't happen or they're like a bunch of like np mpr nph yeah he might have one he might have one i'm bad with acronyms you might have one yeah npr where it's just like all right today we're talking about like the atrocities and yeah somewhere and it's just like whoa whoa yeah how do you compete with that i don't know it ain't it ain't this show it is not this show baby you know uh but uh by the way i wanted to tell you recently uh i got so humbled usually so sometimes randomly on twitter my picture will will start going viral a picture of me and then like it's usually gay twitter that's like you know and they say a lot of nice things but a lot of stuff is very graphic glitter and i'm like glitter yeah gay twitter uh and i and i see that and like it was funny and then i saw one recently and it made my day i said that right to my brother but i why why i'll tell you but he what's the nicest thing they've said to you the nicest thing i mean it's most of it is nice i mean it's just it's just written in a way that is hypersexual that's just like yeah it's super something about drowning in a gallon of you know come on stuff you come on so oh yeah come on come on i thought you were i guess that's what i fell into it just like you fell into the vat of there it is okay but there was a picture of me and i'm wearing a first of all the shirt i'm wearing this is from years ago um but i was wearing a shirt that looks like a jaws shirt but it says pauls and it's a dog's paw instead of a a shark you know and this is what's hysterical this is what drives me nuts because you would make fun of the fucking graphic tees that i had i don't i i all right i have them but i don't wear them anymore they're in storage they're in storage for my kids if they wanted to have really cool shirts in 10 years here we're daddy's shirt we're daddy's daredevil graphic tee yeah but this is what drives me nuts because the world forgets that you were a big time graphic tee haver i'm so glad that you're saying this and you had ironic ones that were just like you know like ha ha ha pause no first of all dude this was like 2018 yeah that was like more when you when's the last time i was wearing a graphic tee hmm when was the last time i mean this if you're gonna talk shit about your own tea i'm not talking shit it is a graphic tee it by definition it has graphics on it but i'm saying like one of those like kind of like tongue-in-cheek haha this is funny meant to be quirky well that's not just because it's a graphic tee it's a graphic tee just that's not only a graphic we're off the point so anyway i i it's a video it's a picture of me during a podcast and i like have my shirt lifted up a little bit and you can see my belly button and then the picture is posted and there's a bunch of like interactions whatever with it wait are you gonna show us the picture i mean do you want to see the picture yeah i need to make fun of it should i send it to josh to toss it up so everyone can see the picture sure all right send it to me i want to see it okay i'll put it in there but it's this picture and then the guy the whoever posted it wrote what do you call this genre of men right okay can i see now something like oh this is another one of those things right so i was like i want to see what people are saying so because it's been one other time before where it was all negative oh like and it was like this guy's fucking mid or like it's like wait really yeah yeah that's so mean well no it's but it's funny it's funny but it's twitter it's not actual real so i it's just funny to me correct remember that world um but it said what do you call the genre of men the first reply under the photo just says fat oh okay i was like oh my god and then everything else under there was positive which was boring but like i i when i clicked on this dude and i saw fat i was like this is the fucking funny thing i've ever seen you know that people are gonna come out the woodwork now and are just gonna try to comment the most fucking mean thing yeah i hope that's not the case why are you giving this attention hey guys it was just funny though he's a real person that has real feelings real heart it is true okay and although he might outwardly laugh at something inwardly it might hurt him so that is outwardly and inwardly funny to me um it was just funny also because of what i was expecting because it has happened before you thought it was going to be like top or like girly pop or like you know something like that yeah it's just fat what what would we call that class of men what like well there's people who say i'm a himbo what's a himbo like a bimbo but a him again was that a dumb him i because bimbo was used for like it was like a dummy a ditzy you know like uh you know remember like chicken of the sea what is that you know like shit like that yeah that's a weird example but yeah i mean i mean that was that was what people like would refer to as bimbo yeah yeah i don't agree i think it's a little mean i think it's just like a yeah like a ditzy dude so you're a himbo i'm a himbo that's hysterical what about like there are other ones where i you've been called like twink that was years ago i think i'm well beyond that well well past twink yeah have you graduated to whatever is like what who evolves into it what does twink evolved into twunk twunk twunk that's right that's right i remember twunk someone one time called me an otter i was like this is crazy now so twink and then what's a or is it like a two-stage evolution like fucking execute an executor yeah twank i thought it was executor executor oh whoever it is you know what i'm talking about though i know you know exactly so like so wow i mean you might be in a class by yourself i'm not you don't think so i fit into there's a hundred gay categories joey i think you are incredibly unique and you don't need to fall into any other classification outside of you just being you performative males am i right ladies what's that what the hell is that the performative male what is that it's just someone who like it's just very like a performative i mean we're on a show yeah no not in like performance more of like a a disingenuous disingenuous performance oh i'm joking yeah same okay um but yeah so i got i got a oh my god so if you're fat what the fuck am i jesus christ i just i just squeaked like the toy from toy story oh wheezy oh yeah he almost he's good you know i wanted to tell you this and i totally forgot but i got rid of a throw blanket the other day that i've had for a while and it hurt you it didn't hurt me but there was a hesitation which throw blanket not that i know your throw blankets yeah i don't they're not named uh it was just like a white one that was on my white throw blanket brother yeah you're playing with fire i also like i have a dog so like it was fucked up like it should go you're playing with fire what what do you mean white like blankets and stuff like that like my bedroom blanket is white dangerful what what is your bedroom blanket it changes we have a we have a we have a like seasonal yeah it's one of the things what is it now brown i get very excited yeah it's like a it's like a creamy brown yeah you know but like it's one of the things like it's like a thing that becca does where she'll like switch it up she'll be like come look at the bedroom and i'll run upstairs and i'll be like whoa and it's like done for like fall on halloween and christmas and spring oh i'm a simple man dude he like beds i love beds and i love like holiday seasonal shit yeah me too i love it dude do you have which color is your bed navy navy like you's still in college yeah he's a guy you got a poster no no what's the last time you washed your towel towel oh god you see what i'm saying how often do you wash your towel uh after every like two three days throw them in the wash we have a good we have a good rotation towel system very good rotation and i got you a towel warmer do you use it i haven't used it yet but it's when the new bathroom's done it's going in that there you go you best believe it you ever use a towel warmer didn't know that existed towel warmers oh yeah what's it like it's pretty it's luxurious machine it's it's like a little it looks like a little hamper and you throw a towel in it and then when you get out so it's all warm so you get out and it's like whoa and you could throw like you could throw like a robe in there do you have any art in your bedroom my bedroom now what's on the walls nothing a tv you live in a prison it's a prison it's a goddamn prison you live in a dorm room of a prison that's where you live i will say when i when i was how i mean i guess i was like 25 uh 5 or 26 my bedroom looked exactly like how you're describing it oh yeah a hundred percent It was always a navy blanket. The last like solo bedroom I had, the decorating was at best awful. Fake plants. Oh, yeah. I hate navy blanket. You know how I feel about this shit. Yeah. Navy blanket. Maybe something on the wall that was like sports related, which is like, what are we doing here? I mean, mine was way worse. I mean, in college, I had posters, which. Yeah, which is normal. Yeah, normal. But like still also, I also had. You're going to hate this. I bet I am. Like a Corona poster. No, no, no, no, no, no. I hung up my high school football jersey. Yeah. And the MFA football jersey. Well, I do know that you did that because it was also when you were. Pink Panther is here. Coach and Spotify are teaming up to bring music and style together, and they want you to be part of it. Grab your friends and head to the Tabby tour, hitting cities around the country with live performances from special artists, exclusive experiences and personalized products and discover custom playlists on. Spotify, but just for you, based on who you are and how you listen, live your story with coach. Learn more at coach.com. At college and you were home, you would hang them up in your bedroom. You're damn right. I would. There was jerseys everywhere. And honestly, I can. Frankie, I can recall that when you moved back to your parents' house, when you were in Connecticut, you came back to New York. You hung them back up then. Listen. Yeah. I'm not sitting here. You were too old. You were one too old for that. I am not by any stretch of the definition saying that I was a good decorator in my fucking like young adult fucking bedrooms. They were bad. I also had like they're not here, but like remember that Batman sign that I brought in? Like that was on the wall. Yes. I like what I like, and I displayed it proudly on my walls. Joey, you know, what's wrong with that? No, I know. Isn't it funny that dude's just like it's all the same. Like it's like, yeah, we don't know how to decorate. We don't. And it's always a navy blanket. We do not. We do not. I still have the glowy stars on the ceiling. That's cool as hell. That's very bad. Oh, yeah. Bad, man. You have glowy stars? Oh, from like your childhood? Yeah, I just like I bounced around rooms a lot, and I just never replaced it because I would have to peel it off and the paint. I'm like, they still glow. They would always take the paint off. That's really cool. They still glow? That's so cool, dude. Thank you. That's so cool. I mean, honestly, I'm a little jealous of that. Becca's the decorator. I give all decorating, but we did like jokingly say she's like, I wonder what would happen if I just let you decorate one room in the house. And she's like, we know it would be. But when we stayed, we went to Disney and we stayed at Airbnb. And like when you when you go to like near Disney, all those Airbnbs, they have like a Harry Potter room and a Mario room in the house that we stayed at had basically a fucking arcade. And it was just like fucking a video game here in the wall. And it looks like a big Wii controller and then like air hockey table. And everything. Everything was painted in neon lights or whatever. I'm like, this is what Frank's going to build in his house eventually. It's not going to be a man cave. I think. Yeah. Well, I hate the idea of man caves. They're corny as hell. They are. They're corny as hell where you walk down the stairs and it's just like parking for Yankee fans only. It's like, dude, you suck. You suck so much. Yeah. I like I love a good basement, but I'm never going to be one of those people that it's like themed around. I hate it. You know, like the toilet seat cover is a Yankees toilet seat. Yeah. Like, relax, dude. Take it easy. Mets, Jets, no one with debts. That I'm sorry. Okay. That was horrible. You know what I mean, though? Like, I hate those. There is a sense of irony is saying that, though, but where our basement does have several areas where there are vintage toys displayed. But it's not like it's like, you know, like, oh, if you like the Red Sox, get out. Yeah. Or it's just like. You know, the rule number one Yankees rule, new rule number two, go back to rule number one. Yeah, it's horrible. I don't think Frankie would make a man cave. He'd make more like a playpen. Yeah, yeah, yeah, exactly. Fuck you. That fucking that felt like you would, though, like like a room that has like every console with their own TV. Yes, I have that up right now. Wait, what? I have two shelves around my TV and it's all like the consoles I have. Yeah, see, that's what I mean. Yeah, that's what I mean. But like, I'm not doing it. And like, what? I'm not one of those guys where it's just like not cool about it. Like, it's right. It's cool. It's really cool. It is really cool. And I do. Yeah, exactly. You know, if someone else does it, I could see it being too nerdy, stupid, so stupid. But I did it. Cool guy. Not not bad. Yeah. Our basement is a work in progress right now. Right. We're figuring it out. But if we just so happen to have like cool video game stuff everywhere. So what? Yeah. You're going to have a basement one day. Yeah. And you're going to want to make it cool. Yeah. I don't know what I'm going to do with my basement. I would like to do something cool. See, that's what I'm saying. Like, you would want it to be like on the wall. It'll have like a picture of like, you know, David Tyree catching the fucking catch on his head. You know, I know you're going to want that. David Tyree catching a ball. It is David, right? Yeah. Yeah. OK. Just want to make sure I got that right. Yeah. But like, that's what you're going to have. And then you're going to have like in the corner, you're going to have like a wine rack or something. You're going to have like a wine rack or something. Whoa, dude. Oh, what? You think I'm doing all these podcast episodes and all these shows to have a wine rack? I'm trying to get a room that has. Oh, so if I have a room of Megazords, I'm a loser. If you have a room of a consumable, you're cool. Oh, of wine. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Like a cellar, like a little cellar. You want a cellar? You know what I really want in my house? A cellar. Well, more than that, I do want a cellar. A cellar. But what would be really cool is. A dungeon. I'll get to it. What would be really cool if I had a reason to have one of those very slidey ladders. Oh, like a. I've seen people that have like floor to ceiling bookshelves and they have that. It reminds me of like how the Grinch goes. He's a what? Exactly. You just painted that shelf. We fucked it up. But you know what I'm saying? I do. I do. I like that. And I want to recreate. I want to recreate when Harry Potter goes into Ollivander's for the first time and he looks down and he's like, oh, you know, I want to do that. That whole, that whole scene. Just like that. When I was in, you weren't there yet, but I think we were in Minnesota or some shit. Went to a restaurant and their wine cellar was pretty like skinny, but it was tall and they had one of those. And the guy went and not because we didn't order a bottle of wine, but like someone ordered a bottle of wine and he got on the ladder and he got all the way up there. And I was like, what a treat. What a treat it would be if this guy just fell off. Oh, oh man. You know what I mean? No. Why are you going that route? Dude, there's a viral, this is maybe 20 years old. A video on like QVC of a guy on one of these ladders and he falls off. Oh no, he's on the, he's not on that ladder. He's on like, it's, it's like the ladders that like are a frames and then they open up and they become like extension ladders. And it like, it's like this and he falls down, right? No, no, no. He falls. He's back. If I'm not mistaken. Why does that, why do you like that? Oh man, people falling is so good. Did you see? I feel terrible. Listen. They're okay. I hope this person is okay. But did you see the video of the guy at the rally, like running after the kid that like stole his glasses and just fucking face plants? Dude, first of all, I hope this person's okay. I don't want to wish fucking bodily injury on anyone, but he fell and he fell like face down, ass up and like skin across the ground. And I was like, oh, that's a bad fall, dude. That's a bad fall. There is something innately funny about people falling and like, I don't like people getting hurt. Yeah, me neither. But like the falling is funny. There's a thin line between pain and pleasure and beauty. Yeah. You know, like it's just like a good fall. It's hard to beat. You know, it's really, it's really is what it's really is. You ever fall real hard in public. I broke. I fell early. No, but like in public around a bunch of strangers, it's when's the last time you just fell? It's like after 2020, you shouldn't fall down. And dude, I fell when we were playing basketball in fucking San Diego. Remember how hard I fell? No, we were in San Diego playing basketball and I went to like get the ball and I like stumbled and just kept going and fell backward and like it hurt like we're getting to that age of like, oh my God. Oh my God. Like where, when we fall, it hurts. People have to be like, yo, you good? Yeah. Like when people consider it a fall. Yeah. Then it's a problem, dude. Oh man. And also what's better than watching someone just stumble? Stumbling is good. Like just can't stop stumbling for like 30 yards. That happened to me once at, at our house where I like caught the lip of the driveway and I stumbled and fell into my home. The door was open and I fucking fell into my house and roll. Yeah. Roll. Yeah, dude. It was bad. Like Willy Wonka in the beginning. Yeah. That's great. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. But not like he did it coolly. Yeah. He, yeah. I did not do it so coolly. Right. It was sad. Wow. Unbelievable. Uh, we do have some sponsors for today. Let's get to those real quick. Uh, the first one being how you doing? Happy Thursday. Okay. These are happy Thursdays right here. They are spiked refreshers because they are spiked, meaning they have alcohol. So you got to be 21 plus. To consume and to purchase. Uh, and they're refreshing. So that's why it's spiked refreshers. Okay. Uh, there's no. No bubbles, so it's bubble-free, goes down smooth. They are 4.4% alcohol, which is nice. Get a little buzz on, and they have great flavors. So this is mango passion fruit, delicious. They also have strawberry, pineapple star fruit, black cherry, but they're great. They're smooth, easy, 4.4%. They have refreshing flavor without the bubbles that make you feel so bloated and everything. I really like them. So definitely go get yourself some Happy Thursdays, okay? So you can go to drinkhappythursday.com slash basement, and you will find out more about Happy Thursdays or where they are in your area. But, yeah, go to drinkhappythursday.com slash basement. Celebrate responsibly. Non-carbonated, naturally flavored with other natural flavors. 21-plus contains alcohol. So enjoy that, okay? The Happy Thursday. We also have HelloFresh. HelloFresh is great. What they do is they basically, you know, you go on their website, you pick out some food, and they will send you those items right to your doorstep. They're the number one meal kit in America, making home cooking easier with chef-crafted recipes with fresh ingredients delivered straight to your door. But, you know, since it's fall, they have seasonal stuff as well. So you can also get some healthy stuff. If you feel great with an even healthier menu, choose from 15-plus high-protein recipes each week, like grass-fed ribeyes. They have ham chops. They have veggie-packed recipes. So whatever your diet is, you know, whatever restrictions you have, I'm sure they can accommodate. But it's great. So it's the best way to, you know, get into cooking. It really helps. So go to hellofresh.com slash basement10fm now to get 10 free meals and a free breakfast for life, okay? One per box with active subscription. Free meals applied as a discount on the first box. New subscribers only. Varies by plan. That is HelloFresh.com. That is HelloFresh.com slash basement10fm to get 10 free meals and free breakfast for life. So go check out HelloFresh. Get these great ingredients delivered straight to your front door. Enjoy. Yeah, and you know what? Did the word subscribers tingle a little tingle in your bingle? Well, guess what? I got another place where you can be a subscriber. Patreon.com slash your basement yard, baby. You sign up for that first tier. There's a couple tiers. That first tier, you get these weekly episodes one week in advance. Seven whole days. And then that second tier. Oh, I'm going to hit that fucking real quick. I'm going to send it over to you. And you're going to feel the power of the tingle in your bingle, okay? That second tier, you get exclusive episodes every single Friday. You can start and end your week with us, with the Basement Boys, with Joe, with Frank, with Ant over there. Ant, say what's up. Don't put your hand down now. Okay. Go check it out. And if you want to subscribe, go do it on a web browser. Patreon.com slash thebasemanyard. Type that in with your little sausage fingers. And then you can go and you could subscribe. You can save yourself some money, okay? Thank you guys for getting us to consistently breaking records. Over 34,000. Close to 35,000, I think. I don't know. I haven't seen the number in a couple days. More, more, more, more, more. Over 35? Over 36? Wow. I haven't seen that in a while. So go check it out. What the hell was that? Slash thebasemanyard. And we thank you and we love you and we appreciate you, okay? You'll save yourself some money if you do it on a web browser. So save yourself some money. Go do it on a web browser. And listen, there's only two shows left, guys. Do, do, do. There's not much left. So if you're coming to any of those shows, go to thebasemanyard.com slash submit. Let us know which of those two, two, two shows that you're coming to. And submit a question response, you know? Part of the shows are interactive. We talk to you, about you, with you. People are proposing. People are coming out to their family. People are telling us they got babies. People are telling us that they're, you know, parents or something. Someone are murderers. It's craziness. Be in on the craziness and the fun and the incredible stories over at thebasemanyard.com slash submit. Let us know if you're coming to either Boston or if you're coming to MSG. And then we'll figure it out, baby. All right? We love you. We miss you. We'll talk to you later. Bye-bye. You ever notice how often you talk in threes? Like, we love you. We miss you. We'll talk to you about you, to you, in front of you. Oh, so you think it's like maybe like a compulsive thing. Like an OCD thing? Oh, I don't know if it's that. I just am noticing that you talk in threes. And I said two, two, two. That's three. That's a two, two, two. That's three twos. That's three twos. And I did three twos, two, two, twos. The number 23. Yep. Wait, what? That was just a stupid movie. Oh, was that that fucking Jim Carrey movie? Yeah, that was that Jim Carrey movie where he's just like, this number's haunting me. I'm going to die soon. Yeah. You know, I'd actually scared me because I divided my birthday by itself and it was.23. You divided what? Seven divided by 30. My birthday's July 30th. It's.23. Why did you do that? Because I was freaked out by Jim Carrey. No, but why did you divide your birthday? I think he did that in that movie at one point too. Oh. You know? And you were like, oh my God. Oh my God, the number 23 is coming for me too. Unbelievable. And that movie sucked. Never seen it. Save yourself, save yourself 23 minutes. Oh, I will. I do want to talk about probably the coolest thing I've ever heard in my entire life, that people rob the Louvre. Fuck, I heard it. I heard about that shit. Yeah, dude. Wait, like fully robbed the Louvre. Yeah, and they're like, it took seven minutes. They got a ladder and they got in there. They took like some, like some jewels. Here's the thing is I, I often like find myself when people would be like, oh, there's professional burglars out there that like do stuff. They like. Like Ocean's 11. Yeah. Like shit like that. And I'll be like, dude, that only, that that's only in movies. It's not in movies. It was in real life movie. I would see, don't you think like, obviously like you don't want to go to jail, but wouldn't like a heist to be just fucking awesome, dude. I can't even begin to explain how cool I think I would be in a heist. Oh my God. Who would you be in the heist? Who would I be? Would you be like the main heister? Oh no. You would be the computer guy. That's just like, we have T minus five seconds. I'm in. No, I'm definitely not the guy in the van with all the screens. I'm definitely not the guy that they call. Oh, there's the one guy that goes into a manhole and he like connects to the wires and he's like, you're, you're good. You're up and running. You're up and running and you have, you have T minus 38 minutes. Yeah. Yeah. That's not me either. I think I'm one of the guys that's in it. I'm maybe the guy that like drills. Oh, I might be like, you know, like how in ocean 11, there was the little, like the little like Asian guy that could like fit into like the small spaces. Yeah. You are very, uh, pretty nimble. Yeah. I'm pretty nimble. I might be able to be him. I'm not Asian, but you're not. Um, but yeah, uh, there was, there was like a couple of people, I forgot how many people, but they like had a ladder. They put it up to the second floor. They broke a window. Uh, they like cut into it or some shit. Did they use the, like, like the Grinch picked up a piece of glass. I was going to say like, like cat woman. She like draws it like that. And she goes like that and takes it off. Probably. I have no idea. And that's pretty cool. Set off alarms. People who are in the museum started like running. Cause it was like alarms going off. Can I ask you a question? Broad daylight to do this is crazy. Yeah. Why? Like, why not wait till nighttime or that's when the security is like really on. Yeah. Because there's no one else in there, but if there's a bunch of people running around, it's probably harder to get around. Do they have lasers? What? Do they have lasers where they have to like spray, like, like spray and they could see the laser? You know what I'm talking about? Yeah, I do. I have seen a lot of movies. Yeah, I know. Um, but yeah, they stole a bunch of stuff and they're like at large. Do you know how much money they stole? No. Well, I heard they took Royal jewels. Yeah. You can't. Napoleon's like jewels. You can't. Which he might've taken from other places. So. Definitely. Uh, you can't account for like the historical importance, but around a hundred percent. A hundred and two million dollars worth of stuff. What the fuck? Dude. How do you even like sell it though? I mean, black market, private sellers. No, you, you, you. Have you never seen these black market movies where they go and it's like, people are just like quiet in a room and they're just like me. That sounds like any auction now that I think about it. Wait, what were you going to say? Um, you, you have to like break it apart, break them down, do jewel by jewel. Like over time, you can't just sell a crown cause they know they stole the crown. Right, right, right. Those things are probably going to be destroyed. I mean, no, I imagine that someone is going to be like, they're going to sell it on like to like a private seller on the black market. And they're just like, we have this. But like, why would someone want that? Because you clearly. Because they weren't going to get in any other way. So they're just like, oh, this is a really cool thing to own. Well, like to his point, if you want the money and you're the person who stole it, wouldn't you like break it down so it looks unrecognizable or you can sell it as we sold this cool thing. If no one can track us, you can buy it. No one will know you have it. Wire me a hundred million dollars. But you could get caught with it eventually. I mean, only if someone comes into your crib. Yeah. Just like put it behind like a secret wall with a book that you pull out and it opens. I don't get that. You can show only your boys. You're going to tell me if you came over and I was just like, yo, I got to show you some shit. And you come in the back and I'll be like, it's Queen Elizabeth's fucking Queen Elizabeth's crown pants. Yeah. And you're just like, yo, that's crazy. You have that. And I'm like, yeah, no one. Don't worry about it. You know, that's cool. It's also a crime. Immediately extort you. Yeah. Ten million are all right. Exactly. Do you do that to me? Well, I mean, it's easy to do. It's an easy money and it's worth it for you. I want some easy, easy money. Sorry. Don't know that. Billy Joel. Oh, still don't know it. I know Billy Joel. Well, it's a good song. Um, I would love to have, wait, wait, wait, wait. I have the crown's jewels in my backyard. Yeah, and you show me it. And I show you them. You're going to be like, yo, give me five mil. Well, if they're worth like 110, I'd be like, yo, give me five. Really? Just to keep me quiet. Give me 30. What are you going to do about it? Oh, I have 100 mil. Now you're dead. What does that mean? Now you stole something and I'm dead? And we're in a room together. I have $100 million in the crown's jewels. Yeah, but what are you killing me with? A gun. Why do you have a gun? Because I have $100 million. What does that have to do with that? If I have $100 million, one of the things I'm spending money on is probably a gun. Sure. Or security. I would wait until we weren't in the room. Right. Oh, yeah? I would wait for the opportune time and go, hey, I poisoned you. Why'd you poison him? Because I knew you were going to extort me. Okay. So, all right. So, you're holding me up. Drop it. Sign this nondisclosure agreement from your time here. Okay. Although it doesn't cover crimes. Mm-hmm. Oh, my God. The NDA. All right. See? See? Like, this is what I'm saying. Like, this is why I can't be a criminal because I'm. Yeah. I mean, I wouldn't want to do this. So, you're saying. I do think that robbing the Louvre was cool. I mean, also, mean. Mean. Mean. Mean. Mean. Like, there was probably a kid there that was, like, looking like, oh, those are the crown, the queen's jewels. I think it was, like, an area where there weren't people. Really? Yeah. And, like, that was, like, the whole point, kind of. If you could. They had a getaway van, and they torched it. That's so cool. It's so cool. That's so fucking cool. I want to torch a car hard. Like, so bad. What? You want to blow up a car? No, no, no. Hear me. Hear me. Hear me. New business idea. Frankie, I'm not doing this again. Come on. Please, please, please. You do this every episode. Please. But, please. You might actually like this one. You know I won't. We're talking about robbing a famous museum. Listen to me. Think of how big. Escape rooms have happened and become over the last 10 years. What if. They're not. They're big, man. They had their moment. It's over. No, they're still around. Where's the closest one to you? Not that far. You made it up. No, I'm serious. When was the last time you went? 2015. But, that's just me, though. There are people that go more regularly. No one goes. There are big team building exercises for. No one. Coach and Spotify are teaming up. To bring music and style together, and they want you to be part of it. Grab your friends and head to the Tabby tour, hitting cities around the country with live performances from special artists, exclusive experiences, and personalized products, and discover custom playlists on Spotify, but just for you based on who you are and how you listen. Live your story with Coach. Corporate organizations. Listen. Uh, like, uh, like a situation like that, where it's. that where it's like an escape room but the stimulation is a theft a burglary like a like a like a like art heist or something right you have to like get out without them noticing you right that would be fucking cool dude that just sounds like a haunted house which you're cool you're helping me you're just fucking you're you're driving my point home and follow me i'm looking at more lube facts oh about the heist oh you got anything good no good so they torched the van they took the jewels yeah and i guess they're at large which i never understood that expression either they're out there on a big yeah yeah where does at large come from i don't know it doesn't really make a lot of sense to me but yeah i would rob a bank you've said this you've said like it's not it's not their money i mean technically you are you're taking from people am i i don't think i am in theory i'm not if if if this room is a bank yeah well what do you think you think that you there's cash in a bank because you have it that's not your money no but there is cash in a bank they don't hold your money in a bank account like that's not what that it's not like i wish it was green gods that sounds pretty cool so would i would love to get on a roller coaster to go get my money that would be cool you see how he's a roller coaster to get his money he's got to go all the way to the top because he's got big big big mounds of money not what i meant i'm not looking at him i'm not looking at him did you see the movie i did the ride would cost more than what's in the bank account props probably yeah i would i would kind of rob a bank too is that bad i think that's totally fine to rob a bank but not in today's society i'd like to rob a bank in the mid like the old west i want a burlap sack that has a dollar sign on it i want a burlap sack that has a dollar sign i want to be like you know walking wearing black and white wearing black and white and just the bandana you know over from my nose down or the thing over my eyes the domino mask is that what that's the second time that's come up in two weeks what was the first time when he was the ninja turtle oh right yeah yeah um yeah exactly like that oh my god robbing a bank would be a thrill all right all right let's act this out i'm a no oh you're not going big going big going big making a scene why would i do that scare people i don't want to scare anyone i just want to leave with the money okay so i'm a teller oh this is the old west so they frank there wouldn't be uh there's no nothing to act out i would just do this and then go you read the fucking note you'll know how much you're horrible at getting robbed i gave you a note it has a number on it give it i am not gonna oh excuse you you could be a little more polite about this sir there's the polite part yeah that's how i would be i'd just be like you could be nicer do you think that any part of you if you were at the bank and someone showed up and was like you had a gun but you were suspicious of the gun you're like i don't know who has a real gun and they're like everybody get on the ground you get on the ground and now but you clearly have an opportunity to tackle this guy and save the day you taking it who else is in the room it's a good question because if i'm in the room and it's like you two are also in the room i am confident that if i go make the shot take a shot you guys will join in now if i look around and it's fucking betty white and i'm not gonna be able to do anything about it i'm not gonna be able to do fucking uh i don't know why the first name that came in my head was vera farmija who the fuck is that who's vera farmija she's an actress betty white dead and vera farmija is she alive yeah and she's also like in shape like she would be she'd probably do more damage than i would so okay but like it really depends on who's in the room right and you give us eyes like i'm gonna jump on this guy i'd be like i'm laying down like this i'd be like and i'm and we're going like yeah are you letting me go first no no like i'm letting you know like yeah this is what we're gonna do but how many there's so many variables that i need to know like paint a better picture joey there's a guy in a bank one guy in one bank how big is the bank how would we be in two banks at once i'm saying like one guy that's what i meant one guy one guy with what kind of gun handgun semi-automatic or automatic uh i assume semi okay did he fire off around when he came in no okay where is the gun is it out is it away it's out but it's not like oh actually no i'm saying he told everyone to get on the ground so he's got it out so he's waving it around yeah he's waving it around okay get on the ground how far away is he from me at first he's far away but then he gets close so now he's at the you were at the teller that's like next to where he is and he's going give me the fucking money and you're on the ground how am i on the ground you're on the ground face down arms out arms by my side you're just kind of like here what am i wearing athletic wear oh and the guy's back is to you because he's he's at the teller like this and you're like over here but you're on the ground so and so you have initiative and now you have to roll a dexterity check okay i like how you're doing this that's what it sounds like yeah basically you guys are playing dnd right now is what it sounds like i don't even know what exactly we just played dungeons and dragons without realizing yeah but like oh is that how you play basically pretty much yeah but keep going i like it so then all right so then so pull up a d20 you're you're laying on the ground right you're in athletic wear okay you don't have any weapons okay this dude has a gun it's in his left hand all right okay right all right so what do you want what do you want to roll for let's roll let's roll for uh how fast can i can i get up without him uh realizing all right so this is a dexterity check you want a high like 13 or higher here okay oh this guy's dexterity my dexterity dude mad 20 so he has no idea you're coming okay so you have the element of surprise clearly his back is turned okay that's me sneaking so you can jump on this guy okay right and gun is in his what left or right arm i said it's in his left it's in his hand yeah he's got it here his arm is a gun no his no it's not okay he's holding a gun it's in his left hand and he's like this it's not down It's, like, at the thing. Okay. So he's pointing it at the teller. Now, you don't know if he's got another one. Is the teller behind glass? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Oh, okay. Fully behind glass? Let's say no. Let's get some danger. Okay. I like danger. So, you know, there's other guys in the bank. So it's not. Hold on. Hold on! Fuck! There's other guys in the bank, but you don't know if they're brave or not. All right, so I'm running a bravery check on everybody else. No, no, it's a perception check. Wait, what is a perception check? So, like, you look around in, like, your surroundings and, like, what's going on. Okay. So you're trying to see if other people are brave. Oh, okay, so this is a low roll. It's like, oh, it's a bunch of old people. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So, perception check. All right. So there's maybe one other guy. He's in his mid-40s. Okay, okay. And, like, you don't know. Okay. So I give him a look. You give the guy a look. I give the guy a look. So he sees I'm up. Does he get up? Did you get up? I got up. I'm sneaking out on this guy. I got a 20 dexterity, baby. Well, he's right next to you. So what about your strength? He could be a strong guy. Could be a strong guy. Can we run a strength check? A strength check? For you? For me, please. Yeah, for Frank. And then for him. So in the moment, because, you know, it's an anxious situation, this is our strength roll. 17. You're feeling good. I'm pretty good. I'm strong as hell. I'm strong as shit. Can we see how strong the guy is? We can see how strong the guy is. Here we go. THROW HIM ON HIS HEAD FRANK! THROW HIM ON HIS HEAD! I'm beating the brakes off this dumbass. That's why he needs the gun. So how do we roll for how good of a shooter this guy is? And has he killed before? Has he killed? Experience check. Sure. I don't know what we're doing. How much experience? NO EXPERIENCE AT ALL! I'm basically going up against Betty White. Very advantageous rolls. So how do you end D&D? You go, "Okay, this is done." No, D&D never ends. Literally, it's a campaign that goes on forever. But you keep going with these decisions? Sort of. Forever, basically. It's always going. Eventually you go like, "Oh, alright, we got him. We got the gun. He's restrained." And you just keep going. Oh, okay. I played it once. It's kind of fun. I just had fun. I played it. There's someone that is watching this that's just like, "Please let me make D&D for them." Alright, so he's not strong. He's not experienced. What do I do now? You're strong and you're fucking limber. You're feeling good. You have the advantage. And you got a natural 20, so you can start the attack if you really want. Okay, so I guess I'm going to attack. But as I'm going to attack, I'm going to grab one arm around the neck. The other is going to. Frank. It's gonna get a little harder. You have to grab the gun first. Go full for the gun? Of course. Okay, so I go full for the gun then. Can we get an experience check on him now? It feels like a one. That's a good point. I just revealed it. If you go for the other arm. No, this is more of a dexterity check, I guess, or like hand-eye coordination. Hand-eye coordination? We can do that. So let's see how we're feeling. Okay. Okay. That's not bad. That's good. I mean, I think we said that the base level was 13. Yeah. So I'm. You can get it. Okay. And with the advantage, because of the nat 20, let's say he gets it. Yeah, he's gonna get him. Alright, so I get the gun. Yeah. So you save the guy. I save the guy. Yeah. I'm a hero. Yeah. Now I turn the gun on them and I want the money, because I'm the strong alpha now. Oh, now you're robbing the bank. I'm the robber. Right. This would be a persuasion check. Just be like. Just be like, you know, since I saved you, can you give me $10,000 or something? What an anti-hero. And. What are we rolling for? Maybe this. I don't think they gave it to you. Yeah. Unbelievable. Alright, alright. I'm gonna do a scenario for you now. Oh, now we're just full blown. I think. This is how it works. You get really excited. We do have more sponsors. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Oh, okay. I think that we should probably get to that before anything else. And the first one being, how you doing Rocket Money, okay? Rocket Money is an all-in-one personal finance app that is going to put money back in your pocket. How are they gonna do that? That's a great question, ladies and gentlemen. They have a budgeting tool, okay? And they also are gonna fine and cancel unwanted subscriptions. Um, that you may or may not have signed up for at some point in your life, okay? Uh, you know, a lot of people, they sign up for, like, a free trial or something like that, and it kind of expires, and then you start paying for that. And you didn't realize you started paying for it because it was like, "Oh, it was only four bucks." But over the course of a year, it's a couple bucks. Put that back in your pocket. And maybe you've done that a couple times, okay? So, you know, to avoid things like that, uh, you know, you can use Rocket Money. You go onto their app and their website, and it'll show everything for you. It'll show they'll put everything out. You cancel the things that you don't want, and then you put the money back in your little pocket, okay? Uh, but you can go to rocketmoney.com right now and join the people who have saved millions of dollars. Not each, but, like, collectively have saved millions of dollars out there, uh, you know, using Rocket Money and putting the money back in their pocket, ladies and gentlemen, alright? So, go to rocketmoney.com, uh, and check it out. Go save yourself some money. Also, there's another, uh, feature that they have where you can, uh, upload a picture of your bill, and if they can lower it, they will lower it. So, you can save money just like that as well. So, again, go to rocketmoney.com, uh, and try everything out, and there's, there's also, uh, premium features that you can save, um, some money on. Uh, there's premium features that if you use all the features, people are saving on average $740 a year, okay? So, go check it out, rocketmoney.com/base. rocketmoney.com/basement. And lastly here, we have BetterHelp. Uh, this podcast is sponsored by BetterHelp, which is online therapy. Um, you can start talking to a therapist in just under 48 hours, okay? They will connect you with someone. They make the onboarding very easy. Um, and yeah, it's a, it's a great thing. I think that everyone should be in therapy. For me, it's kind of like going to the gym for your brain, alright? I've been in therapy for years. I think it's great to have someone who's like a non-biased party that you can kind of tell everything to. Helps you organize your thoughts. It really, like, you know, it feels a lot better. Even if you don't have anything traumatic or whatever, you know, you can talk to a therapist about, I talk to my therapist about, like, business decisions, or, you know, things that I am thinking about, or in the future, or blah, blah, blah. So it's very helpful to have that, and I think that everyone can benefit from that. But they have over 30,000 therapists, uh, one of the world's largest online therapy platforms, um, having served over 5 million people globally. So, this month, don't wait to reach out. Uh, when you're checking in with a friend or reaching out to a therapist, yourself, BetterHelp makes it easier for that first step. Our listeners get 10% off for their first month at BetterHelp.com/Basemeyard. That is BetterH-E-L-P dot com slash Basemeyard to save 10% off of that first month. Alright? There you go. Alright! That was good! You're good at that. Alright, so I'm setting the scene here. Okay. Okay? It's a. Monday morning. It's a Monday morning. Monday morning, and you're coming from the gym. Right. You just did leg day. Okay. Okay. So I'm a little shaky-legged. You're a little shaky-legged. You did hard leg day, too. Yeah, I'm shaking. You PR'd on squats. Okay, so I'm like Bambi. And you PR'd on. You probably wouldn't do that. Do what? I was gonna say leg press. Okay. You do leg press? I can't. It's not my. Exactly. Yeah. That's why I said you wouldn't do that. Alright, so you PR'd on leg day. You're feeling good. Okay? You walk into the bank. Oh, this is after the gym. Yeah. Okay. Yeah, because you run your errands after the gym. You know? So it's like a similar situation. It's like 9:45 on a Monday morning. Okay. Okay? Yeah. You walk in, you know, you're greeted with your glass of champagne at your Swiss bank that you go to. Am I in Switzerland? No, you're here. Got it. They have UBS chains in America. Okay. Everyone down! Guy walks in with an AK. Fires it in the air like this. Fires it? Yeah. Does that. How many shots? Same question. Eight. Okay. Fires him in the air. Looks at you and says, "Get on the fucking ground." And uses the butt of the gun against the back of your legs and you fall to the ground. Mm-hmm. Okay? I'm writing everything down, sorry. Now he goes up to the teller and he says, "Give me everything in the safe." Ask away. Is that my role? I guess so. But, uh, I'm gonna give you minus four to dexterity because of the gym, unfortunately. And minus, make it minus five because he's got, he's got hit in the back of the leg. I haven't counted in that. Minus four. It's a hefty penalty. Okay. All right, all right, all right. Okay. What is that, what is your position called in this whole thing? He's the game master. No, technically because you're being the game master right now. Oh, technically. I'm just helping him what he should also be doing. We're both game masters right now. Do, but like, what's my role? I, I, like, think of things to do? You're the player. Yeah, you gotta tell, I'm walking you through it. Oh, okay, okay. So the guy you just described basically the same situation. You ask questions about the situation, me, anything. How tall is this guy? Ooh. Oh! All right. How big, how big and wide? I would say five, five ten one ninety. Okay. Ween. We're very similar builds. Sure. Yeah, he's got a couple inches on you, but sure okay uh is he strong he did fire around that ak was was it with ease could we tell that'd be a perception was it one-handed it was one of these it was one of these but he looks very uncomfortable okay looks very i mean it is an ak it's ak quattro siete right uh is he wearing a disguise he's wearing a rubber mask of what freddy krueger okay so now i would give him a disadvantage to sight right he would have a little bit of sight disadvantage what a sight check yeah what is his sight check let's see let's make that one a d12 because it's like i don't know what the difference is here actually i don't know what i just said let's just get rid of that wait hold on that that says total 14 does that mean like this is out of 14 no this is out of 20 you can roll 20 dice at the same time and add them up yeah you could just roll oh okay so he's got a 14 sight so it's not that bad it's not hurting him that much i mean he's losing some sight though he's losing some sight so make it minus two yeah so what about his hearing what about his hearing can he hear me creeping up on him all right we can see we can see you do a hearing check very good god he's like a fucking bat very good shit very good very good very good hearing you're in trouble oh no i have i i do i do i have anything on me you do what do i have you have uh your phone you have your wallet which that that carries some weight uh you uh and uh you have you were jumping rope at the gym on gym on leg day so you have a you have a jump rope a metal one okay i'm gonna fucking lasso this guy um all right uh he has very good hearing his sight's not that great he's got an ak is there anyone else around yeah full packed packed it's a packed packed bank is there any any dudes in there that i could probably get some help from yes oh great do i know any of them yes you do i know them you know one of them is it you nope got it um okay it's ray lewis it's ray lewis these should have been some roles we're getting really uh yeah i'm getting real loose all right all right hold on someone is in there with it if it's a role over 15 it's ray lewis this is now you're getting if it's a role between 10 and 15 i'll come up with somebody else if it's under 10 i'll come up with somebody else okay oh my god it's a two okay that's bad all right this is bad oh my god it's clay aiken it's oh my god it's clay aiken in there sure we could go which i would be very excited honestly no clay aiken i think clay is pretty tall clay aiken might be in the 10 to 15 yeah all right so under 10 you're in there with this is under five bruce valanche whoa i mean bruce is a big guy old now old bastard now okay oh my god um am i what's my fighting ability like do i have any background sure you took boxing uh how good am i uh i would say you're gonna get a boxing check get a boxing check on joe let's see yeah let's see a history check how much he remembers when he was boxing sure oh my god i'm a fucking champion very hot cash is clay very hot very high some differences but you're you're close enough sure i can knock this guy the fuck out because he can barely see me sure okay the only other person in there with you is bruce valanche you do okay you do have a disadvantage on attack because your legs though i'm on yeah but what does that mean like my speed yeah just so it all bunches into one it depends on the scenario all right it's tough so here's my plan and i don't know how to ask this in the confines of this game that's fine but i have like a phone or i have a wallet right and it's going to be a it's going to be a good idea but it's going to be a good idea but it's going to be a good idea but this guy's got the fucking hearing of a fox slash bat yeah fox so my plan right now is it and i have a and i have a fucking 19 out of 20 boxing so i could knock this guy's block off but i just got to get there yeah but he's got very good hearing so my plan take my wallet throw it across the room so he hears the wallet turns i get up and i knock his fucking head off that's a good one but how quick could you get up because remember you used it like that my life is on the line and again i'm throwing this thing and then i'm attempting to get up so as i'm getting up he's gonna hear the sound turn towards the sound i'm behind him okay so first we're gonna see we're gonna roll to see if this wallet trick worked that's what we roll for okay how do we do that well you got to see will the wallet trick work over he has very good hearing very good hearing so he can tell the difference between a wallet and something real no i was gonna say like very good hearing this would give this a bit of an advantage to work because he will hear the wall right okay that's what i'm saying so let's say 10 oh oh my god it's not working no it didn't work not working three out of 20 is basically i'm throwing the wallet across and he's looking right at me like what are you doing yeah yeah it didn't work okay yeah you're in trouble didn't work so i can't do that and now he's kind of i need a different plan yeah yeah yeah didn't work now do i do i what are the chances that me and the guy uh oh me and bruce valanche yeah uh we both know sign language uh i mean what what but you don't i don't think there are any roles to check if you know sign language because i was gonna be like yo if i tell him like bro scream and i'll knock this guy's so in this scenario right we establish that you two know each other me and bruce so i'm assuming that you two have a cell phone connection or or you can or each other's numbers can i text bruce valanche can i text bruce valanche but then we got to see if does the text send up does it his is bruce valanche's phone on vibrate roll a d4 for that one what is it what is these things they're different like different dice have different scenarios yeah but we're just how when we're having fun like this i just always do d20s because it's like just easy um what are the chances that i can reason with this guy is he an open okay that's great so persuasion check we could do a persuasion check can i persuade him to let me like go to the bathroom at least all right let's see this very let's see how open-minded okay that's pretty good honestly so maybe i tell him like look you can wait no do a roll for joey's charm how charming is joey this was the this was the persuasion check i would say i'll be like look i i really need to take a dump take my cell phone so i don't call the cops just let me go to the bathroom i'll come right back and then what's your plan yeah i guess he said um i don't know now you're just in the bathroom in the bathroom well i think now you don't know so here's the plan here's the plan i go to hand him the phone i grab the gun oh okay okay okay that's that's so that's that's that's scary because when you hand him the phone he's positioned in front of you like this with a gun like but he has to take it from my hand so i can get close enough to grab the gun and jump out of the way and it isn't ak it's not a handgun a little harder to maneuver up close so i'll give that to you all right okay so what you're rolling to grab the gun go yeah all right wait what's the level at which he grabs a gun i think like this guy how can we get a strength check on this guy i think like this guy i think like this guy i think like this guy i think like this guy sure why not let's get a strength check on him he's all right average middle of the pack middle of the pack but you're also not using your biggest strength which is your boxing ability apparently i will get there as if i grab the gun he's toast i would say with the disadvantage because the leg day but the fact that it's a two-handed weapon let's do above a 12 above a 12 he grabs the gun okay okay okay here we go here we go you're dead it's bad it's bad all right it's bad now i'm getting bad rolls now so you go to grab the gun and it doesn't work does yeah he fucking butts you in the oh he like knocks my fucking block say he butts you yeah i think you're dead yeah i think it's it's probably it's a wrap probably let's just do a check to see if he shoots joe in the face yeah what are the chances that i've distracted him so much with my horrible attempt that bruce the lance jumps on his back and then i get up i'm missing three teeth and i spit blood in his eyes and then well what about your boxing ability joe then i start punching his lights out i think this would probably be your last roll for hope so if it's above a 17 i was then we do it that's exactly what i was thinking i was thinking 17 that's a hard roll a 17 and up yeah 17 and up 17 and up joey you're gonna die don't i'm not i'm gonna kill him yeah let's go so bruce valence jumps on his back jumps on his back i get up i spit blood in his mask and i start teeing off on his head why are you spitting blood because he knocked me in the face with a gun gotcha okay oh my god dnd is fun you know it is it's a lot of wow wow wow oh there's someone we should do a dnd video i've i've suggested that before and joe was like yeah i know did i every yeah i've seen people like comment on our instagram posts once before and been like please let me set up i'm a great dm let me set it up for you it's a lot of fun i do a horror like nights with my friends like we do a horror scenario is it spooky spooky that's interesting oh my god that's fun i had a good time well there you go folks oh yeah the loom got robbed yeah yeah who cares suddenly i don't get a show and bruce valence have something to say about it me and bruce valence in a bank and you're safe i'll take a couple hits to the face with the end of a gun though by the way i've seen i have seen the age demographic of our fans no one knows google bruce you don't know bruce i was about to say i don't he was always the center square on hollywood squares with tom bergeron look up bruce valence bruce valence there's your hero there's our hero bruce valence there's there's the hero bruce They're saving us. That's it. That's like my dad in a wig. Got it. Bruce. You look better on it. Bruce. Yeah, this guy. So I get up. I make a stupid attempt. He jumps on the guy's back. It's just enough for me to get up there with my shaky legs and knock his block off. Bruce Valanche. Yeah. Here you go, folks. Hero of the people. Yeah. Bruce Valanche. Shout out. Well, there you go. There you have it, folks. That's so funny. But don't forget to subscribe to our Patreon. Patreon.com slash TheBasementYard. Keep supporting the show. And yeah, Frank, where can they find you? The Frank Alvarez everywhere. If you're coming to any of the shows, TheBasementYard.com slash submit. And we love you. We thank you. And yeah. Where can they find you, Ant? Higher than 10. I can do it. Okay. Higher than 10. Ant could plug. 13. Ant Prisco on Instagram. But only one. Yeah, only one. Only one. Only one. Only one. But yeah, that is all for this week's episode. See you next time. Coach and Spotify are teaming up to bring music and style together. And they want you to be part of it. Grab your friends and head to the Tabby Tour. Hitting cities around the country with live performances from special artists. Exclusive experiences. And personalized products. And discover custom playlists on Spotify. Built just for you based on who you are and how you listen. Learn more at Coach.com.