#52: Self Belief is the Strategy

Welcome back to the greatest project podcast. This is episode 52. Today we are talking about being absolutely fucking delusional delusion self-image self-belief is how you accomplish Anything and everything in your entire life and if you do not have this take away when you are watching your favorite creators on Instagram then you are missing the entire point If your confidence can only rise to the level of what you've already proven then you can only keep recreating versions of what you've already done Why I say delusional self-belief is because it's seemingly unrealistic confidence of your future success that overrides whatever present limitations you have and this hits awfully close to home for me because truthfully The things that have genuinely changed my life. I had no reason to believe that I was able to do those things and Quick run down over the things I made a tick talk about this the other day. I Moved across the country for the first time by myself at 19 for school I've then moved twice since then I started my own business at 19 I then quickly failed because I had no idea what I was doing in the root of Telling something like that of like yeah, I actually started my first On my own in-person training business at 19 and had no idea what I was doing and failed is to tell you sometimes with delusional self-belief you won't always You won't always succeed you won't always win but the point is not to always win The point is to always try again and the point is to see beyond your current Stances like all you have is not all you will ever have and you must believe in yourself before it is possible I feel like fitness is one of the greatest Ways to portray this you must act like a fit person to be calm a fit person You need to start going to the gym you need to start eating healthy you need to start lifting heavy You need to start doing your cardio and caring about your sleep so that your body can reflect it You don't out here's the fit body and then learn how to take care of it It's like no this is a tangible example that you can think of of your actions must change first You must have belief that it is possible for you and that is what I want to double down on Because that is the biggest gap I see of women who come into my program and succeed and women who don't and listen You've maybe never achieved the body before and you've maybe thought that you have tried So I'm all for me and my entire team Supporting you and you borrowing our belief in this process Until you can grow your own But you cannot rely on somebody else Believing in you more than you can believe in yourself when I need you to start believing in is your Freaking relentless work ethic you need to trust that you are somebody that no matter how hard it gets You will scrape yourself off the grounding keep moving forward. I genuinely do not care how many times you fail I don't care how many times you fuck up on your diet I don't care how many times something throws you off the wagon all I care about is Your commitment to what you said you were going to do and genuinely that's what delusion is is How committed are you to the achievement of this goal? And it's not just a commitment. Oh, I'm committed sometimes sometimes I feel like it sometimes I'm not your half-in Half-out mentality is the reason that you haven't been able to achieve anything And I'm going to use like online coaching because I coached coaches in Next container for a really long time and that was genuinely One of the things that I you can't instill this belief and somebody they must come to this conclusion on their own But I would watch all of these coaches Let their revenue or how many followers they're getting or how many clients they have dictate how they feel and Almost throw them off course as if they were gonna quit and I genuinely one time I think I was on stage when I did this I gave an in-person speech and I asked them I said how many of you are gonna quit? No one raised their hand. I was like okay, so why do you even let that be an option for you? Why do you even entertain that idea? If you know at the end of the day, you're not going to and genuinely one of the biggest pieces of Delusion is understanding that you're not going anywhere. I'm in this for the fucking long haul So the days that aren't the greatest or that I'm falling off or whatever it is Don't really matter in the grand scheme of things because I'm not going anywhere and genuinely I think of what I Have now and what I've been able to build it is only because of that relentless commitment that I'm not going anywhere It is only because this delusional self-fully If I've always had this deep internal knowing that I will figure it out. Did I know how did I have any of the skills of how? Nope, but you figure it out along the way and one of my favorite quotes is Bite off more than you can chew and learn how to chew it You do not be everyone says this and it's so cliche But you really do not become ready and then do the thing you must overwhelm your nervous system if you want to expand your capacity You must Put yourself in the arena and then learn how to play the game You can't just keep reading about the game. You can't just keep thinking about the game You can't just keep taking certifications and studying the game You need to put yourself in the arena and so the whole point of this topic in conversation that I want to talk about is this understanding of the way that you see yourself the way that you talk to yourself How much life and belief you speak into yourself is the missing piece of why you either have or have not Achieved what you said you want to achieve the normalization of a heavy inner critic In unhelpful heavy inner critic is the reason I truly believe so many people are Being audience members instead of being in the arena and then you see people talk about oh like things are oversaturated Or somebody's already done it so I can't do it Brother, you know how many people are just watching? You know how many people exist in the frame of just being average and The barrier to entry of being exceptional is genuinely not that freaking high When it comes to fostering yourself belief one of my favorite kind of analogies of this is the wolves So you have one wolf and you who does not believe in you? It's too hard. It's too heavy. I can't do it. I have no reason to believe that I can do it. I'm not good enough X-Wine Z my whole childhood. I was told that I'm not good enough. I'm Slow or I'm not as beautiful. I'm not as well spoken. I just don't have these inherent skills and This voice inside of you is slithery and it is slimy and it is going to hit you where it hurts and the thing is is you won't realize that this voice is talking You are not consciously aware in the moment until you practice the skill that this voice is even speaking So this wolf exists in you But you also have this part of you this other part of you that speaks so much life into you that knows that you are meant for more That is willing to be committed that is willing to fail that is willing to be Cringent is embarrassed and whatever it is you're just willing and You're dedicated and you're disciplining your determined and you're devoted because you respect yourself and you understand at the end of the day If you can believe in yourself and anything is possible Genuinely do you believe that with enough time work skill acquisition correction and strategy that you could figure out your goal? Yes or no? If the answer is yes, then you need to understand that winning is a decision and people who think like champions expect to win Self-belief is an active decision. It is not a passive feeling. It is something that you must choose every single day So you have these two wolves inside of you and you ask the question of oh, well which wolf wins? The wolf that you feed do you continue to allow yourself to beat yourself up? And again if you've spent the last 27 years Practicing tearing yourself down negative self-talk beating yourself up that one wolf is really fucking strong If you have not actively rack-dist speaking life into yourself believing in yourself asking yourself Those questions like do you believe that with enough time work skill acquisition strategy that you could figure it out? If you are not staying curious about yourself if you are not working through Your own limiting beliefs if you are not cutting those thought patterns off and actively working to reframe them Guess which wolf is going to win? Confucius says the man who says he can and the man who says he cannot are both correct at the end of the day You are the person who decides that and I love Looking at those montage videos of athletes you can see runners do it You see people like freaking Kanye do it You see and you guys are not gonna like my examples of people who are doing this because sometimes it's people that you're like Well, they're so arrogant I don't want to be like that really convenient for you to say you're on the sidelines watching them Look at again NFL players look at those sprinters all of these people Before they go into a big game. They are speaking life into themselves saying I'm a champion. I can do it I'm the best. I'm the greatest of all time They must believe in themselves that Energy is so different than being like, oh, I'm going to lose because then you will hold yourself back Your ego always wants to be right you will always act in alignment with attempting to make yourself right your brain Doesn't want to be wrong. It wants to be 100% right My question for you is if I could hear your internal commentary all day Would I think I was listening to someone who expects to become exceptional? Genuinely and if you're like, yeah, but I've always struggled with this. I don't care And I know that sounds mildly aggressive But genuinely I spent so much time I really think back to like my mentality from like 1819-20 I was probably shitty as hell to be around Had no reframe skills no mental skills. I didn't care I didn't realize that it was something that I needed to work to and I was having a conversation with the girl yesterday and she was basically asking like How you make mental progress And I was like do you go to the gym and do a sit-up and check for abs in the mirror So we won't obviously know. Yeah, because you put in one rep So why would we expect you to be better when you just put in one rep? The same thing when it comes to improving your mindset Improving yourself believe improving yourself talk yourself image Y'all be putting in one rep you do one journal prompt one meditation You reframe something maybe for a week and then you're in the mirror checking for abs Your mindset is something that if you are not spending dedicated time to improve To learn to study the grades and then to integrate it and practice it and by all means you can be You can be reading about it and learning about it all day But if you do not put yourself in the arena to fail to fuck up to be seen as cringe I love the book the inner game of tennis. This is kind of side to gym I love the book the inner game tennis and he talks about self-one and self-two and Genuinely every book about exceptional people all say the same fucking things Let me tell you One of the core concepts of all of them is learning how to stay in process learning how to not be an outcome oriented person And most people are so outcome oriented and then make the process miserable for themselves It's like little do you know the process of becoming better when you can fall in love with that with the boring mundane The preparation side of things when you can love that then you're a fucking winner anyway self-one and self-two Basically your conscious hypercritical self that voice that's like constantly correcting making these little tweaks It almost over-corrects and that's what he explains is self-two is like if I was your coach and I gave you feedback as a tennis coach Like twist your wrist a little bit different. You would think about it so much that you would over twist your wrist So you end up overcorrecting and not having the ideal outcome that you want self-two is your subconscious and most of like sports or being in flow state being creative happens in yourself too It's when you're not trying it is when you are non needing but you trust the skills that you have been able to develop over time and then you get to step back and just be the observer You relax into your body and I'm saying this to tell you I can read about this all day But we went and we golfed the other day. I'm I'm I don't swing a golf club. Let me tell you And one of our friends was like coaching us because he's great golf player was giving us feedback all of these things and I was noticing myself doing self-one activity and it was so cool to be able to see it to be able to realize it and then I was like you know it Relax I'm good step back anytime. I got myself to relax to enter flow state to stop trying to be non-meeting of a specific outcome I fucking whacked that ball like a motherfucker and it was good And so it is one thing to study this thing But it was another because I was frustrated in that moment. I was like this sucks. I'm bad at this I was with Rachel and Rachel's a fucking great athlete and like Rachel's just so much better than me at this She is progressing so much faster all of these things and it was so cool to actively be able to say okay Not helpful focusing on how good Rachel is how shitty I am Mm-hmm self-one like literally it was so cool to be able to read about the thing and then integrate the thing And that is the whole point so many people you're just listening to these podcasts You're just reading the books and then you're not actively going out there and putting yourself in the situation To attempt to work on it I made a post about this it was like one of the first things that I had said in the post but reframing Relentlessly is a skill Most people do not naturally consciously interrupt negative thoughts and replace them immediately Reframes are a skill the way that anything else is a skill and the biggest piece in the beginning will be you growing your conscious awareness That whatever you are saying and speaking to yourself is not naturally supportive in that moment And so in order to improve your self-belief you need to become really good at the skill of reframing How is this thing serving you how can I get this to serve you and again sometimes to This is not like what do you call it when the people are way too fucking optimistic and you're like you're spiritually bypassing this you're You're not being helpful things suck and they were annoying and bad and hard and grief and heavy and all of these things reframing isn't attempting to deny that It's just saying okay after I've felt the shitty emotions that are associated with this Is this the is this frame of thinking is the story I'm telling the most effective for this Yourself image if you've ever read the book psychosyvernetics. This is where he talks It's a plastic surgeon who wrote this book and he talks about how Some people would come into plastic surgery and they would think that the nose job or the boob job or whatever it is was finally going to make them happy this outside thing Was going to change the way that they see themselves and he wanted to study why Some people got the nose job got the boob job and then were Exx like extremely confident like exuding confidence all the time And then some people got the nose job got the boob job whatever it is And never changed always saw themselves the same way And it is because you will continually behave in ways that make sense according to who you believe you are They always defaulted to whatever their view of self their self image was If they believed themselves to be an insecure person who was maybe ugly to other people or whatever it is they would Default back to that behavior It's this concept of like the thermostat What self image is your thermostat set at it doesn't matter if you open the door and hot air comes in for a little bit Once you shut the door you'll go back to cool or vice versa And so really acknowledging that at the end of the day you can change all of these circumstances You can change all of these things that you said we're going to make you happy But if you were not doing the internal work to change your self belief to change your self talk To change who you see yourself to be you will always default back to whatever mode that is for You can change your circumstances faster than you can change your identity And this is where most people struggle of like if somebody loses 30 pounds But still thinks that she's the fat girl or she's the overweight friend or she's the ugly friend She will still be that and act in alignment with that and again, she could change those outside circumstances faster than the internal ones Someone builds a successful business, but they still feel like they're pretending to be the CEO They still struggle with impostor syndrome They stutter over their words instead of saying like no, no, no, this is stacking evidence What do I need to keep doing what skills do I need to keep practicing Someone who starts making 50k a month But still makes financial decisions from the identity that they had at five k month This is all the deep internal identity work Of like how do you see yourself and again Right now most people I guarantee view their own identity very passively You are not being an active participant in the driver seat of how you want to see yourself The life that you want to live you are just defaulting back to old patterns And like great example this is relationship like okay Do you enter healthy relationship but are still seeking evidence that you're going to be abandoned Or that you're going to be cheated on or that you're going to be left because guess what happens when you seek something You will find it your life can expand beyond yourself image But you'll often unconsciously try to bring yourself back into alignment with who you believe you are Until you release the work of those limiting beliefs And again, this is where delusion comes in is you just have to decide Is who you've been up until this point and your past are you more about into that are you more committed to that Or are you more committed to where you're going Because otherwise you're going to keep continuing to recreate whatever is behind you Until you decide that you need to be so relentlessly committed to where you are going And I'm not denying by any means that it's going to not be difficult. It's and it will be hard You will have road buffs you have road box. Some days you will not feel like doing it You will be emotional you will still get sad you will get mad you will get frustrated you have all these things But it's the end of the day commitment is one of those things like it's not about necessarily Always being correct or always being right but To be a champion is about embracing the skill of continuing to correct your thoughts Continuing to correct your actions Continuing to recommit yourself every single freaking day. The whole point of all of this is understanding that like equally, delusion without action is you genuinely just main delusion. Those are dreams, those are fantasies, those are it's not reality. When you have delusion in where you were going, who you were becoming paired with relentless action, that is true self belief. That is the mindset of being a champion. One of the NLP skills in our linguistics programming skills that most people just, they're like, it's so funny to me. It's such a default for most people unless you're consciously aware of this. They'll tell you what they don't want. And their internal dialogue will be like, don't fuck this up, don't ruin this, don't do this. And it's like, okay, you're still focusing on what you don't want. Focus on what you're moving towards. We have away from goals and we have towards goals. You can have away from and towards, but you can't just have away from. You can just have towards. So towards always away and towards yes away. No. It's okay that you want to be moving away from something, but you must know what you are moving towards. It goes back. I said this in a podcast episode a couple weeks ago, but talking about like, if you do not know which port you are sailing to, the no wind is favorable, you must know what you are doing. You must know what you are moving towards. And again, all of this is so vastly important to me because at the end of the day, we are always proving ourselves right. And I think back again to the clients who see progress. It is the ones who are so bought in there like this is it. I'm making this happen. I do not care. I believe in myself. And then their actions align with that. Versus the clients who are dead set on it failing in and not working for them and it being some deeper problem. They will continue to manifest that whether it's subconsciously or consciously because the thing about your subconscious mind, it is always recording. It doesn't give a shit what you say or you think or you're being sarcastic, it is always recording. And then it will push you to act in alignment with that. The goal purpose of delusion and I really want to ground this in is like the goal isn't to believe that you are somebody who is guaranteed to win or guaranteed to succeed because the thing is as you aren't the only thing that your promise is the work. Yay. The deeper self belief is like I believe in my ability to become whoever the goal requires me to come become. That is identity work. I think we've talked about my identity statement of like, okay, I am a million dollars CEO. That's great. And that's outcome oriented and focused. So it's pointing me in the direction that I want to be going. But the thing that I focus on is am I following through and what I said I'm going to do. Am I upholding and being the embodiment of somebody who is a million dollars CEO. Do I take care of my body that way? Do I speak to myself that way? Do I read do I take my vitamins? Do I put my phone down? Am I engaged in conversation? Am I in my continually learning? Am I doing these things that allow me to be come the person who has that outcome? That's what it's about. And that's what most people are unwilling to do. They are just so focused on having the outcome without becoming the person with it. And that goes back to them. The default self image is like, if you're insecure and we give you the boob job, the boob jobs not going to make you secure. You must decide to be that person. I hope that you listen to this and you decide to fucking relentlessly believe in yourself. It's been 30 days run an experiment. Okay, you've seen what it's like to talk shit to yourself. You've seen what it's like to not believe anything's possible for you. So let's try something else. Otherwise, you're just going to keep having the same outcome that you've always been having. You got this. If it's possible for other people, it's possible for you. You are not so unique and so special that you were the one person who it's in always inevitably going to fail for. I've spoken about this so much to like I genuinely and like just the most average person ever. And I truly believe it's because I'm willing to put myself in the arena and willing to learn and figure it out along the way. And that is all people who are successful are. I'm willing to fail as many times as it takes and let it not mean anything about them. You're taking shit maybe a little bit too personally. I used to have a Michael Jordan poster in my old office in Arizona and it said take shit personally. And he's fucking I love what you guys are not doing is studying athlete mentality more. Oh my god, they embrace alter egos. They embrace like turning up these things that allow them to perform and show up. Michael Jordan, Kobe Ryan, I used to watch those documentaries religiously because I'm obsessed with the way that they think because the way that they think clearly works. There, it's not even delusion though because they believe in themselves so much and their work ethic backs it up. Those are the people that you want to be like those are the people that are talked about long after anything is over because not only did they believe in themselves, but then they also put themselves in the arena to do the work. And it's like yeah, maybe you only see their celebrations, maybe you only see the great so remind yourself of that too. How much work goes on behind the scenes that you're not witnessing? I hope you understand that delusional self-confidence is about fully committing to the achievement of your goal both in your mind and everyday life every single day. When you reward the most talented people, it rewards the ones who are willing to be delusional about what's possible for them. There are people out there who are less qualified than you doing more than you because they're putting themselves in the arena. You do not need to keep preparing, you need to do. Let's start stacking evidence that it's possible for you, but again you must believe in yourself first and then let the evidence follow. Go seek out that confirming evidence. This Friday, I hope you believe in yourself. I love you guys and I'll talk to you soon. Bye.