#51 | The 5 Ways You're Sabotaging Your Own Sales

Welcome to upgrade upgrade upgrade upgrade upgrade the podcast to upgrade your business into the premium and luxury market Stop competing on price increase your race and finally attract your dream clients and now welcome your host Maddie Christina I have a question for you How much time have you spent learning how to sell watching videos reading books taking courses studying techniques Maybe even paying for training and now tell me honestly how much of that time was spent looking at what you yourself say That is actively killing your sales before they even have a chance to happen Most of the conversation around sales improvements is about what to add a better pitch a stronger close a more compelling offer And very rarely do we stop and look at the other side of the equation Which is what we say almost automatically that signals to the client that we are not playing at the level we think we are Today's episode is about exactly that five phrases five habits five things that come out of our mouths during a sales conversation That sabotage the result without us even realizing it and what makes this Particularly interesting is that none of them feel wrong in the moment they feel polite Professional even considerate that is precisely what makes them so dangerous The first phrase is one I hear constantly and chances are you have said it yourself without even thinking about it Most people go for this option. It sounds helpful It sounds like you are making things easier for your client saving them time Guiding them towards something safe and proven But what you are actually doing is putting them in a box before the conversation has even had a chance to go anywhere interesting When you work with clients who have real budgets and I mean budgets that can vary from one to three to ten times what you expect Telling them what most people choose sends two very specific messages The first is that they are standard that they are a client like any other and that is precisely the opposite of what a high-end client wants to feel a Forbes study of 150 high net worth individuals found that 78% of them plan to increase their luxury spending with average annual spend on travel alone reaching 63,000 dollars These are not people making decisions based on what most people do they are making decisions based on desire On experience on what feels right for them specifically The second message you send when you say most people go for this option is that you have already decided what they are willing to spend Before they have had the chance to tell you themselves and that is a very costly assumption Research consistently shows that high net worth individuals allocate between 10 and 20% of their annual income to luxury purchases driven by emotional and personal motivations Not by what the person before them chose Prejudging that number is one of the most expensive mistakes you can make in a sales conversation Think about what this looks like in practice Imagine a photographer meeting a couple for their wedding the photographer opens with Most of our clients go for the eight-hour package The couple nods they go for the eight-hour package they pay and everyone leaves What the photographer never found out is that this couple had a budget of three times that amount and would have happily said yes to a full Weekend of coverage an album a film an anniversary session the photographer decided for them not out of Males Out of habit. So what do you do instead? You stop orienting and you start listening you ask questions that reveal desire not budget How important is this to them? What does the ideal version of this look like in their mind? What would make this truly exceptional for them? Those questions tell you which level you are actually playing at and from there you can present what is genuinely relevant for where they are You are not there to guide them toward the safe choice you are there to create the conditions where they can find their own The second phrase is just as automatic and just as damaging which one do you prefer? It sounds polite It sounds like you are Respecting their choice giving them control letting them lead but look at what is actually embedded in that question Which one one you have already decided for them that they are living with a single option a single service a single product Before they have said a word about what they actually want you have quietly closed the door on everything else It is the equivalent of a waiter walking up to a table and asking which dish would you like? Maybe the people sitting at that table are starving. Maybe they want three courses Maybe they want to share several things and make an evening of it But the question itself has already framed the interaction as a single choice and most people will simply answer within the frame They have been given the same dynamic happens in a sales conversation your clients came to you with a desire Sometimes a clear one sometimes a vague one but a desire that has not yet been fully defined When you ask which one do you prefer you are defining it for them and you are defining it small What if they wanted to what if they wanted a combination of things they had not even thought to ask about yet? You will never know because the question you asked made it impossible for them to tell you so instead of which one do you prefer? Try what appeals to you or better still how many would you like? That shift is not just semantic It is a completely different invitation one question closes the other opens one assumes a single Transaction the other leaves room for something bigger something more aligned with what they actually came for Your job in a sales conversation is not to simplify the client's desire into the smallest possible unit It is to stay curious long enough to understand the full scale of it now This one I know is going to learn very differently depending on who you are for some of you It is going to sound completely obvious for others You are going to realize as you read this that you do it without even noticing and for others still your entire business model is built around it And that is a whole other conversation But I want to share something that happened to me personally because it stuck with me in a way I did not expect I walked into a shop to buy something completely ordinary A notebook, nothing significant, nothing emotional Just a purchase I had already decided to make I was ready to pay There was no hesitation, no negotiation happening in my head, nothing at all And when I got to the register before I had said a single word about price The person behind the counter looked at me and said "I will give you 20% off" And I remember standing there thinking "Why?" I was not asking for discounts I was not hesitating I was not even looking at the price tag twice I was simply buying And in that one sentence Something shifted And not in a positive way Because if this person is offering me 20% off before I have even tried to negotiate What does that tell me about the original price? It tells me it was not real It tells me the number on the tag was not the actual number It was the opening bid in a game I did not know we were playing And suddenly, without intending to, that person had undermined everything This is what a spontaneous discount does It signals that your price was inflated to begin with It signals that different clients pay different amounts for the same thing Which means nobody really knows what your service is worth, including you And it destroys perceived value in a way that is very difficult to recover from Especially in the premium and luxury world Where price is not just a number but a signal of quality, of exclusivity, of the level you operate at The rule I live by is this If you genuinely want to make a gesture for a client You add something, you offer an extra, a bonus Something that enriches the experience But you never discount what already exists You never offer the same thing for less People talk, clients compare And the moment two clients realize they pay different amounts for the same service You have not just lost credibility with one of them, you have lost it with both And if the price is genuinely too high for someone you really want to work with The answer is not to lower the price, it is to adjust the scope You remove elements, you restructure the offer You find a version of your service that fits their reality without pretending that the full version costs less than it does That is a conversation worth having But offering a discount before anyone has even asked is the most elegant way to sabotage yourself that I know of We could do an entire episode on discounting and negotiation And maybe we will, but today we are talking about something very specific Which is getting out of the way of clients who are ready and willing to spend And nothing gets in the way faster than answering a question nobody asked Let me pause this episode for a second I'm hosting a free masterclass over 90 minutes where I break down the five pillars you need to master To move into the premium and luxury market It's intense, straight to the point and built for real implementation The link is in the description and now let's get back to the episode The fourth thing to stop doing and this one is particularly close to my heart because I see it constantly Is presenting a single option and building it entirely around the stated budget This one comes from a conversation I had recently with one of my clients A jewelry designer who works exclusively in bespoke. And the way she operated was simple. She would ask her clients for their budget upfront, and then she would design something that fit within that number. Which sounds reasonable, right? It sounds professional, it sounds organized. It sounds like she's being respectful of their reality. But when we started looking at it more closely together, something became very clear. If a client tells you their budget is $5,000, and you design entirely within $5,000, you have just made a decision for them. You have decided that $5,000 is the ceiling, that there is nothing above it worth exploring, that the conversation begins and ends there. And what you will never find out is whether that number was actually fixed, or whether it was just the first number that came to mind when someone asked them a question they had not really thought about yet. And this is actually backed by science. In his book "Influence", Robert Chaldeanie explains the principle of commitment and consistency. The idea that once people have publicly stated a position, they will do almost anything to remain consistent with it. The moment your client says, "My budget is $5,000, they have made a commitment." And from that point forward, their brain will work to stay coherent with that number, even if their heart is pulling them somewhere else entirely. Asking for a budget is one of the most efficient ways to install a ceiling in your client's mind before the real conversation has even begun. She told me herself that it had happened at least once. A client had given her a budget, she had worked within it, and then somewhere in the process, an emotional moment happened, something shifted, and the client said, "You know what, let us double the budget." Which tells you everything. The budget was never the ceiling, it was just the floor they started from. So we worked on something together. Instead of presenting one proposal built around the stated budget, she now presents three. The first one matches what they asked for. It is beautiful, it is well crafted, it fully delivers on the brief. The second is slightly above budget, a more elevated version of the same idea, with materials or details that take it a step further. And the third is what I call the signature proposal, the one where she lets her instincts run completely free, where she designs what she would genuinely dream of making for this person, regardless of the original number. Sometimes one and a half times the budget, sometimes double. And she presents it by saying, "You really inspired me, and I could not help, but imagine this as well." Tell me what you think. The worst case scenario is that the client stays within the original budget, and she delivers exactly what she would have delivered anyway. The best case scenario is that the client falls in love with something they never knew they wanted, and the sale doubles. Nothing to lose, everything to gain. Now, if the idea of not knowing the budget upfront makes you uncomfortable, that approach is for you. But there is also another way to look at it entirely, which is to start from the opposite direction. You ask them not what their budget is, but what they dream of. You let them describe the ideal version, the most beautiful version, the version where nothing is off the table. And then you come back with several ideas at different price points, and you watch where their energy goes. It requires good instincts, good questions, a reliability to read the person in front of you, so you do not completely miss the mark. But it opens the door to something a budget conversation almost never can, which is genuine desire. And the fifth one, I will be honest with you, is more than knowing smile than a hard rule. But I have seen it enough times in the field that it absolutely deserves its place here. And that is the moment when you visibly lose your composure, because you can feel the sale getting big. You know what I am talking about. The client is saying yes to everything. The court is climbing, the wallet is open, and suddenly something shifts in the person across the table. Their eyes light up a little too much, their smile gets a little too wide, their energy changes in a way that is completely readable to anyone paying attention. And the client reads it. They always do. The problem with that reaction is not just that it looks unprofessional. It is the messages it sends without a single word being spoken. It says, "I am not used to handling contracts of this size." It says, "I am looking at your money right now." Not at you. It says, "This is not normal for me." And the moment your client senses that this is not normal for you, they start wondering whether it should be normal at all. Whether perhaps they are about to spend a lot of money on something that does not actually warrant it. Even people with significant budgets are not in the business of spending unnecessarily. And the fastest way to make them question a decision they were completely comfortable with is to react as though the number surprises you. The standard to hold yourself to is simple. Treat every contract, regardless of the amount, as though it is exactly what you expected. Not blasé, not cold, not indifferent, but calm, grounded, and completely at ease with the level you are operating at. The message you want to send is that this is the world you live in, that you are entirely capable of delivering a discount. And that the most important thing in the room right now is not the number, but the project you are about to build together. The champagne is absolutely allowed. Just make sure you open it after they have walked out the door. Now, everything we have talked about today comes with experience. There is no way around that. But experience alone is not what builds a great sales conversation. It is intentional practice. Knowing which words to use, which words to avoid, how to structure your offer, how to read the person in front of you without projecting your own assumptions onto them, these are skills that can be trained, refined, and genuinely mastered. At Coco's Park, it is something we work on regularly with our clients. We do sales exercises together, we run role plays, we play the client, we throw objections, we create scenarios, and we go again and again until the responses become natural, until there is a whole range of answers available for every situation, until the offer is structured in a way that never limits the client before the conversation has had a chance to breathe. And if you want to start on your own right now, here is one practical thing you can do immediately. Record yourself during your next sales conversation or pitch. Then, transcribe it, put it into chat GPT, and ask it to analyze the language you used, the moments where you may have closed the door to early, the phrases that could be reframed. Then do it again with the improved version. And again, and again. You keep going until something clicks, until you can hear in your own words that the conversation is open, fluid, and genuinely client focused. And even then, you keep going because there is always another layer to uncover. Of course, another option is to work with a mentor or a team of professionals who do this every day. At Coco's Park, it is exactly the kind of work we do inside the mastery program. And if you feel ready to take that step, I would love for you to apply. The link to join the Coco's Park family is in the description of this episode. I wish you a wonderful morning, day, night, whenever you are listening. And I see you next week.