508 - Overboard in Iran, Savannah Guthrie, & ICE Electric Gloves
66m 41s
In this episode, Tim Dillon mixes comedy with social commentary on recent news. He starts by joking about his hemorrhoid before diving into reports of multiple sailors on the USS Abraham Lincoln attempting suicide by jumping overboard due to overextended deployments and poor living conditions, including food shortages and mental health crises. Tim criticizes the Navy's response, satirically suggesting shooting deserters to maintain discipline, while also mocking the absurdity of rescue efforts. He then shifts to Savannah Guthrie's interview with actress Chrissy Metz, where she questions Metz's weight loss via GLP-1 drugs. Tim condemns this as toxic, arguing that Metz owes no explanation for her health choices, and sarcastically ties Guthrie's personal family drama into the critique. Next, he discusses ICE's acquisition of electric shock gloves, warning of a dystopian future with increased surveillance and control. He also jokes about a Taco Bell lettuce outbreak causing deaths, framing it as an undignified but humorous end. Finally, Tim addresses men leaving the workforce, urging parents to embrace their children's unconventional paths—like OnlyFans, streaming, or pranks—as the new normal, rather than pushing traditional careers. Throughout, he blends dark humor with critiques of modern society, media, and government overreach.
Ladies and gentlemen, welcome to the Tim Dillon Show.
I have a very large hemorrhoid, which I don't love
because I've been driving on Long Island
out to the summer area where I live
and then back into Manhattan, and I have a hemorrhoid.
It's like a balloon.
And that's not nice, but thankfully my doctor
has prescribed me a foam to put on it,
which will shrink it and then also ease the pain.
It'd be good to put an ad here.
Put an ad right here, right after that.
So I just read this story that multiple U.S. soldiers
on the USS Abraham Lincoln have attempted to jump overboard
due to overextended deployment.
Apparently, the soldiers on the USS Abraham Lincoln
are, they're like pissed.
They're pissed or something.
And they're like, I don't know what the hell
they think they're going to do.
What are they going to, they've tried to go overboard.
They're, they're, they're, listen, man,
what's going on with the military?
Are they doing that to make a point?
What do they think, you're going to swim out of there?
Are they trying to kill themselves?
The last thing we need is a rash of suicides in the military.
This is already embarrassing, this Iran thing.
It's already embarrassing without you jumping
off a boat and trying to swim away.
This is already a big embarrassment for all of us.
We don't need you jumping off the boat,
deserting and trying to swim away, by the way.
Doggy paddling out of Iran.
We're all getting our ass kicked over there.
Well, listen, I get it.
They're pissed off.
Hold on, the wife of a 19-year-old sailor
who jumped overboard from the USS Abraham Lincoln
accused the Navy of keeping her in the dark
and described as her husband's suicide attempt.
According to a Thursday report from MSNOW,
the sailor spent roughly an hour in the water
after going overboard on October, on August 3rd
before being rescued.
But she said Navy officials did not contact her
about what happened until four days later.
I think it was handled very poorly
because they didn't inform me
and they didn't want me to know
and they're just trying to cover it up,
said the woman who was granted anonymity
because of the sensitive mental health issues involved.
Listen, man.
She insists, she instead learned something was wrong
from one of her husband's friends aboard the carrier
who initially told her that a member of his squadron
had gone overboard before later identifying him
as her spouse.
So wait a minute.
Hold on.
She instead learned something was wrong
from one of her husband's friends aboard the carrier
who initially told her that a member of his squadron
had gone overboard before identifying him as her spouse.
So the guy was like,
someone jumped off.
She's like, who?
I don't know.
Someone tried to kill themselves today.
Who did that?
I don't know.
I don't know.
Who do you think did it?
Well, the wife said her husband had struggled
with exhaustion and homesickness
during his first deployment
and had sought help.
Here's the deal.
I'm sorry.
People are going to get mad at me
when I say this, okay?
We have to start letting people kill themselves
I, I, I, you know what I mean?
Literally like this, just trying to say like,
what are we doing?
What are we saving people for at this point?
No, and by the way,
if you're thinking of killing yourself,
obviously don't call a hotline or get help
or get a, you know, rescue animal
or get a service pet or whatever the hell.
But, you know, I'm just saying
we're going to have to stop this
where we're rescuing everyone all the time
from killing themselves.
Truly.
If somebody jumps off a plane,
jumps off a boat in the middle of the ocean
and they're there and, you know,
it's like you got to, hey, let it,
let it happen.
In a July 21st text obtained by MSNOW,
he told her, I think the boat is finally getting to me
and I really don't think I could keep up
my peace act anymore.
Later, later adding,
I don't know if I can finish this deployment.
I mean, he did join the military, right?
Like he did understand what the military does.
I mean, I'm, he understood,
he understood what the military does.
I mean, I'm, he understood what the military does.
He understood that, right?
He was, he was clear on what the military was.
He's like, I don't think I can keep up my peace act anymore.
You joined the United States military.
What did you think was going to happen?
What do you think we're going around the world doing?
Hugging people?
You're there to kill others,
which is not, again, I'm against the war.
I don't want it happening,
but the ship is starting to get to me.
Well, here's what the Navy said.
They said, we have not observed an increase
in suicidal ideations aboard the ship.
Well, that's good.
That's nice.
The Navy has come out and said,
hey, we have not observed an increase
in suicidal ideations aboard the ship.
That's, so what?
Good.
Here's what we are learning from all of this.
We're learning that things are good.
Things are good over time.
Things are good over there.
Things are good.
You can't focus too much on this one person.
Who knows why he wanted off that boat?
The spokesman said they're not noticing people
killing themselves at a high rate or a high frequency here.
This was an isolated incident the guy tried to check out.
Everything's fine over there.
We're winning.
Not to mention a Thursday Midas Touch.
That's another podcast.
I don't want to even quote them,
but I will report because I don't,
I don't want to even know them and whatever.
They're probably on that list of,
by the way,
this list of podcasts are making $20 billion a year.
Half of these people don't even bring it up.
What is this with this list, by the way?
Mel Robbins making $35 million a year to tell,
I mean, what the hell's going on over there?
$35 million a year for that drivel?
I mean, all she does for an hour is like,
you know,
she's like, there's no I and try or something.
You know,
she does that crap.
The hardest part is to start.
And you're like $35 million a year for that,
that criminal to,
to,
I mean,
she makes Gary Vee look like Plato,
by the way.
If you listen to,
we do a great thing on the Patreon about it,
but if you listen to Mel Rob,
like, you know,
I like Gary Vee,
but we've made fun of him here.
We've,
we've,
you know,
he's,
he's,
he's silly sometimes,
but you listen to Mel Robbins,
you listen to Mel Robbins.
I mean,
you think Gary Vee's Aristotle compared to the shit she shovels out.
I mean,
meaningless garbage.
I don't even know who it's for or what.
And then you look at her comments.
It's all like elderly people who can't find the door in their house.
They're trapped in there in their house.
Listening to this,
he's dementia patients.
Listening to Mel Robbins.
It's crazy.
$35 million.
Whatever.
So the Midas touch report detailed troubling accounts of food shortages aboard the Lincoln,
including messages from one sailor who claimed the crew had gone without milk for three months
and that meat sometime arrived rotten.
Here's the thing,
man,
you know,
uh,
Senator Richard Blumenthal also pressed Navy leadership,
including defense secretary,
Pete Hegsath for answers,
citing reports of supply shortages,
water contamination,
uh,
plumbing problems,
deteriorating mental health,
and other poor living conditions.
I,
I,
I,
I can't imagine that this is a widespread problem.
I think the people on that boat are doing fine and I don't want to hear anything to the contrary.
What are they?
They're out there in the middle of the ocean.
It's the summer.
What do you want?
You're on a boat in the middle of the ocean in the summer.
Oh,
I'm sorry.
You can't,
you don't have a,
what is it?
A buffet.
You don't have a buffet every night.
Enough.
I mean,
what do we need?
How fat are these people?
They need food all the time.
What are you doing?
It's insane.
The demands of these people.
Um,
Annabelle Loma has spoken with her husband only a few times since he attempted to jump overboard.
I thought they weren't disclosing the name,
but whatever.
Is this another,
this is another one?
This is a different,
this is another guy who tried to jump overboard?
Jeez.
Annabelle Loma has spoken with her husband only a few times since he attempted to jump overboard.
Yeah,
she's probably disgusted by him.
She's probably like,
great,
I married a pussy.
Communication has been difficult to come by now.
He is on medical hold.
Loma,
who lives in San Diego,
said her husband has repeatedly overextended before he tried to jump from the carrier.
He's scared,
Loma said.
He thinks he'll get dishonorable discharge and just because he was burnt out,
his 13 year career,
is ruined just like that.
That's not fair.
That's not right.
That's not what he should be worrying about right now.
Loma said she initially received a call from the ship's ombudsman after the incident,
but has not heard from anyone in the Navy.
Lincoln's roughly 5,000 sailors and Marines remain on a deployment that began November 21st.
The carrier has been deployed for more than eight months while supporting military operations in the Middle East against Iran,
which is going well from what I gather.
I think it's going well.
The deployment, which was going to end in May,
has been extended with no publicly announced return date.
You're there until the job is done.
In a separate incident aboard Lincoln,
a sailor on watch saw a shipmate preparing to go overboard in Heathrow.
What is everyone going overboard on this thing?
What is this, like a Three Stooges thing?
Everybody's going overboard?
Enough.
How embarrassing is this?
By the way, I didn't know why we were losing this war.
We're finding it out.
Everyone is jumping ship, literally.
They're all jumping overboard.
All you hear is splash all day of people just trying to get out of there.
I mean, listen, Rodriguez's husband told her about the incident
several days after it happened.
He said he hadn't felt adrenaline like that in his life,
and he was just so thankful he was able to get the sailor in time
to stop them from going overboard.
So apparently on this ship, it's just people jumping off the boat
and other people trying.
Well, this is why we can't win the war,
because the entire group is focused on keeping their own people
from jumping overboard.
I mean, I, listen, here's the deal.
We cannot, if you're going to jump overboard, you're going to do it.
And you know what?
It is what it is.
And we should not.
I'm sorry.
I'm sorry.
I'm sorry.
I'm sorry.
We do not have the time to keep you from jumping overboard.
We don't.
If you're going to jump overboard, you know, best case, you do this.
You wave.
Here's what I say.
People may not like this.
If someone jumps overboard, you shoot them as soon as they get in the water
and you kill them.
I'm telling you right now what needs to be done.
You want to win or not.
Someone jumps overboard.
You shoot them in the face while they're swimming like this.
You go, traitor, coward, deserter.
You shoot them in the face while they're in the water.
Seems harsh to some.
And then you look at the rest.
You know, like a pirate.
Have you ever seen a pirate movies with a pirates give it to you?
That was one of my favorite things.
You know, the pirate, you know, Blackbeard or one of them.
He would.
He'd really give it to them.
You scum, he'd say, you know, he'd really give it to the other pirates
because some of them, you know, you got to think they got to fall in line.
A pirate ship doesn't work unless people are focused.
And so you'd have a Blackbeard or Bluebeard, whatever one of them.
And, you know, they would come in and they would they come with the peg leg
and the, you know, the parrot and they do the whole thing.
We need that on this boat.
We need someone to tell these people that if you jump,
off this boat, I would have a meeting with them all.
I'd have a meeting with them all.
I don't give a fuck about your families in San Diego or your tour to wives
eating their quesadillas.
Let me tell you some.
If you jump off this boat, I'm going to shoot you in the face.
You will be and you will make someone do it.
You make their bunk mate do it.
You go, you shoot him in the face.
And they're like, do I have to?
And this toughens people up.
And then we win.
If you jump off the boat, you are to be shot.
This is this is the only way, because here's the deal.
This mental health stuff's got to go.
Our soldiers need to be shooting the people on the boat who are weak links,
who jump overboard.
We cannot be doing rescue operations or any of that.
They're all fat on a boat demanding food.
Here's the deal.
How about this?
Someone jumps off the boat.
You shoot him first.
You get a big steak and not one of the rotten ones.
You get a big steak.
I shot him.
You'll say I killed him.
And then you get a steak, baked potato, maybe a little chocolate cake.
The most successful businesses don't do it all themselves.
They delegate up work, lets you build a team of highly skilled specialists for every function your business needs.
You can focus on what you do best and let the experts handle the rest.
In a world where AI is changing every role in every industry,
knowing who actually has deep expertise matters more than ever.
Upwork connects you with highly skilled freelance professionals with proven track records.
So you can hire with confidence.
Every business owner hits a point where they need more expertise that they can handle alone.
But another full time hire isn't always the answer.
That's where Upwork comes in.
It's where growing businesses find highly skilled freelance specialists,
not just for one off tasks to build an entire team at a fraction of the cost without the commitment of a permanent head count.
I've used Upwork's platform and I got a great person who's now working with us.
And we love everyone from Upwork that we've met.
They're all great.
Sasha and Tommy, Frank, Colette, Gene, he wants to be called Jean, Jean-Luc, Michael, Dan, and I.
Dexter, Kara, Collin, Ling Lau, Justin, Porchetta, they're all great.
Visit Upwork.com right now and post your job for free.
That's Upwork.com to connect with your top talent, ready to help your business grow.
That's U-P-W-R-O-K.com, Upwork.com.
Speaking of that, get up Savannah Guthrie.
I'm Gus Guthrie here in Chrissy Metz.
This is one of the more disturbing.
Now, by the way, our society is so unbelievably diseased, okay?
This is why I wanted to bring this up, okay?
Few disclaimers here.
Whatever you want to do to lose weight, I think is good.
GLP-1s, peptides, diet, exercise, drugs, you send yourself to a clinic, whatever you want to do.
No one should judge you.
People that have money.
Wealthy people.
All they care about is extending their meaningless lives, by the way.
You have dinner with anyone over 60 with a couple of bucks, all they talk about is trying
to live forever, and everything's boring and sucks now, and it's progressively getting
worse, and all these people want to do is just be here for it.
So you have people that have these meaningless lives that they need to extend immediately.
So all of these people, these older people, these boomers with means.
They want to like, you know, they want to optimize and maximize, you know, they want
to take all of these different supplements and medications or whatever.
Nobody should be judging anybody for how they are trying to better themselves in a healthy
way.
It's not your fucking business.
That's the reality.
It's not your business.
What people do, okay, it doesn't directly affect you.
Now, Chrissy Metz is a great actress, and she was on a show, I believe, called This
Is Us.
It was This Is Us, right?
It wasn't Is It Cake?
Now, I'm overweight, so if you're mad at me, you're nuts.
So, and I'm the only one who admits, I got overweight by eating.
Talk to anyone else.
They have a syndrome that no one's heard of that they got in the Indian Ocean.
They got bacteria or something, you know?
So, this woman, who's a great actress.
She's a great actor.
I've never seen anything she's done.
I don't care.
I'm not going to.
It doesn't, it's not for me.
Whatever that show is, This Is Us.
By the way, the title makes me sick.
I will never even watch it.
It's on NBC or ABC or one of these.
This Is Us.
Have you ever seen it, This Is Us?
What is it about?
Family.
It's about family.
Oh, get the fuck out of here.
But not fun family, right?
It's just like. Sad.
Yeah, it's sad.
It's sad.
This Is Us.
Now, she's on This Is Us.
This Is Us.
This Is Us.
Okay.
Now, here's the thing.
Now, she became, I guess, a symbol of the body positivity movement, which was a movement
in America where fatty boom baddies were demanding that they be represented by other fatty boom
baddies.
And then when those people lost a little bit of weight, these fat people would attack them
and shame them and say. You are. By you losing weight, you're increasing fat phobia.
You're playing into stereotypes.
Being overweight has nothing to do with health, which is a complete lie.
Ask any doctor, whatever.
Fat people shouldn't be abused and called names.
We should just be like a civilized society, which we just can't do.
We can't do it.
Our country cannot be civilized, no matter what, by the way.
No matter what, can't do it.
So instead of just going. Treat people respectfully, let's try to be all healthy, but not everyone's going to look
like a supermodel and we're all going to have to tolerate each other, but there is a standard
of health or whatever.
Instead of doing that, we can't do it, we said being 600 pounds is good.
And if you say it's bad, you are playing into this narrative that was created by beauty
companies and Vogue and magazines.
And it's like, well, not really, no.
It's like, seeing your feet and being able to walk up the stairs was not created by Vogue.
It just wasn't.
I've been overweight my whole life, okay?
Never did I think, well, this is. This is great.
Chrissy Metz has decided to go on a GLP-1,
which is a very good thing for her.
And I support her, applaud her.
Yes, queen.
Now, in a normal society, people would go,
oh, good, great, cool.
She now has to go explain to Savannah Guthrie
who kidnapped the mother again?
She's back at work.
But I think Savannah Guthrie's family kidnapped her own mother
and killed her.
But whatever, Savannah Guthrie's over that.
She wants to know why this bitch is losing weight.
Savannah Guthrie is here to remind this bitch
that other people see this bitch as an ally and an example,
and she's represented them.
So this woman who's chosen to take a drug, medicine,
whatever you want to call it, to lose weight
has to come on the Today Show
and explain to Savannah Guthrie
why she's decided to lose weight
because Savannah Guthrie's like,
man, some people are not thrilled with this, okay?
Let's take a look.
This is what a diseased society we are, okay?
So we have, let's just recreate the scenes.
Everybody knows what's going on on our morning television,
which should be wholesome.
Our morning television should be wholesome,
right?
It should be like fall cupcake recipes for the kids coming up.
How do you put the little spider,
how do you put the little Halloween spider icing for the kids, okay?
But instead of that, we have Savannah Guthrie
whose family kidnapped and murdered her own mother
because they wanted crypto.
She is now interviewing this morbidly obese woman
who has done the right thing by saying,
I'm going to stick myself with this needle and try to live.
Savannah Guthrie goes, why are you doing that, okay?
So here we have what morning TV in this country has become,
take it away.
You know, a lot of people have, I mean,
admired you because they feel seen
that you've represented this whole community.
And I don't know if there are some people are watching
and have mixed feelings about it.
And I don't know that.
By the way, stop it for a minute.
Here's my first thing.
Savannah Guthrie go, hey, where's your mother?
Why are you here right now?
Can I ask you a question?
Why are you here?
What is going on?
Who kidnaps an old person?
Did your brother do, did, what is happening?
Has anyone figured this out?
Before I tell you why I've decided to take the jab
and drop a few, I'd like to know where your mother is
and why you're back at work.
That's the other thing I'd like to worry about.
But again, I'm going to, I want to watch this whole thing.
So back it up again.
I'm not going to speak, but I would say that
if I was Chrissy Matz, I'd go, hey, where's your mother?
Back this up again.
We're going to watch the whole thing and then I'll comment on,
and how diseased and insane this is for Savannah Guthrie
to bring on Chrissy Matz,
who has to explain to these lunatics out there
why she wants to be healthier.
Go on.
And I don't know that you have to provide an answer to them.
But if you are, if there are people that are like,
oh, Chrissy, I thought, you know, that somehow they're,
you know, disappointed with this, what would you say?
Oh, I think that it's so important to put yourself first.
And, you know, as we age, sometimes we have health issues
that we're concerned about or want to get ahead of.
And that was certainly my case.
Stop it. Pause it. Pause it.
Savannah.
She's out of breath when she says, yeah, Savannah,
I'm going to explode.
I was told by a doctor recently
that I was going to explode and create a dangerous
situation for people near me
when that happened, that I was going to explode.
So even though people feel seen by me,
and I really appreciate that,
the fact of the matter is this.
I am going to explode.
So with or without your support
and the support of my fans,
I have chosen to not explode.
If I can help it, I've chosen to not explode.
And Savannah's like,
a lot of people might feel that that explosion represented them.
A lot of people would feel seen if you exploded.
Don't you think so?
So let's just finish this up here.
Savannah Guthrie.
Me, like, I've lived my life a lot for more,
more over other people than myself.
And I think if it works for them,
whatever it is,
whether it's weight training
or not watching a movie that might scare them
before they go to bed,
like something simple,
like all of those things,
it's everything for me.
How I consume everything is what's important.
But also, like, you have to live your own life.
And I have to do that for myself.
Yeah, okay.
Well, yeah, I mean, it's an obvious hint.
First of all, she's so, like, befuddled by the question.
She starts saying nonsense.
She's like, well, if weight training
or watching a movie at night
that won't save you,
that won't scare you.
It's so wild.
It's really interesting.
And good for Chrissy Metz, by the way.
And shame on Savannah Guthrie a little bit.
And I know Savannah Guthrie just went through
a horrible thing that she may or may not
have been involved in, so I don't know.
I'm sure she didn't do it.
I'm not accusing Savannah Guthrie
of kidnapping her own mother.
What I will say is that,
what an odd question.
Well, people might get mad at you for this.
And, of course,
some psychos might get mad at her.
But what is this?
What explanation does she owe anybody?
Savannah, if we're going to start
with the explanations,
your family has it.
I'd like an explanation from your family
before you chastise this fat bitch
for losing a couple of pounds.
What the fuck went on with your mother,
by the way?
Why the hell can't we get
a goddamn answer about that?
Your chast. Because Savannah Guthrie's like,
by the way,
I don't know that you know these,
you owe these people an explanation,
but here's the deal.
You being fat has helped me so much.
When my mother was kidnapped
by probably members of my own family,
let's be honest,
I would look at you and go,
well, she's fat.
And I'm not.
And if fat people get thin,
then I have to develop a personality.
But I put a picture of you
on my refrigerator every morning
that we hadn't heard from my mother.
And she was expiring in the trunk of a car.
I looked at you and I said,
at least I'm not this fat bitch.
So if you get thin,
who's going to be that fat bitch for me?
Crazy Metz is like,
well, that's a good question.
That's so sweet.
That's a good question
and that's so sweet.
Thank you.
And I'm sorry about what happened
to your mother.
I think that maybe
if I lose weight
and you're unable to use me as a photo
to make yourself feel better,
there'll be someone else
that might just feel more comfortable
being,
being overweight.
Savannah Guthrie goes,
right.
Thank you.
Well, there you have it, folks.
Chrissy Metz.
And my friend of the show,
Savannah Guthrie, of course.
You know, we don't want to,
people are going to get mad at that.
But what did I,
what did I do?
I'm just saying it's a little crazy.
It's a wild question to ask.
You know, I'll be like,
hey,
so you decided not to be fat, huh?
Why?
ICE is now planning to implement
electric shock gloves
as a means of de-escalation.
And here's what I'll say to ICE.
I do think there's a chance
that, that people,
that these electric shock gloves,
like people are going to get
the wrong idea about this.
I really,
I got to be honest with you.
I, I don't know what their intentions are,
but this electric shock gloves,
which I guess means you shock people
with gloves is what I imagine they are.
They're just gloves.
And you grab,
you grab someone
and you shock them.
You know,
people are going to get the wrong idea about that.
They really are.
Rightly or wrongly,
humane devices that deliver jolt of pain
will be used by ICE agents.
So now this is from what,
this is from the Telegraph in the UK.
ICE agents will now be using electric shock gloves
to be humane.
So at some point,
there was a meeting where they say,
you got to stop shooting these protesters in the face.
What about,
and somebody went,
what about electric shock gloves?
And everyone went,
now we're talking.
Now we're talking.
What if we could,
what if I turn my,
my paws,
my mitts,
my hands in a little electric chairs?
And they went,
that's a good idea.
So ICE plans to spend,
now,
by the way,
this is a complete false choice.
You can have a secure border.
You don't need a paramilitary group of psychopaths
that you've recruited from a backyard wrestling event
who are completely,
completely untrained,
who are running around,
who are grabbing grandmothers and people at,
you know,
a high school graduation.
You don't need to have these shock troops
running through the streets.
You can have a process.
You can have all of this stuff.
People that have committed heinous crimes can leave.
And you will need people to get people
that have committed crimes,
obviously,
if they've done something really bad.
But what you,
you just don't need this group.
This group has done a lot of damage.
Um,
to the cause of actually having a secure border
because people don't want this.
They don't want to be associated with this.
They don't want people being grabbed with electric shock gloves,
which I shouldn't have to say.
I shouldn't have to say that.
I shouldn't have to be like, you know,
people don't love the electric shock gloves that ICE will be using.
The gloves can deliver up to 380 volts of electricity.
A standard U.S. power outlet is 120 volts.
So ICE plans to spend up to $20 million
to buy the generated low-output voltage emitter.
Whose idea, by the way,
who thought up electric shock gloves?
That's a crazy invention.
That's a really wild invention to just go,
well, yeah, what if you needed to grab someone
and then shock them humanely?
Because that's the way these guys talk.
In Silicon Valley, they'll be sitting there and they'll be like,
well, you know, law enforcement has expressed a need
to de-escalate situations humanely.
And we thought, what about a glove
that emitted a kind of a, you know,
just a reasonable voltage, a reasonable charge?
The DHS said in a statement to the BBC,
ICE is constantly assessing the needs of our officers in the field
to ensure they have the tools and equipment necessary.
Compliant Technologies LLC, which makes the gloves,
told the BBC it was unable to comment on the sale.
A no-bid purchase contract could be published as early as Friday.
The glove devices are activated by pushing a button
to deliver shocks and can deliver up to 30 pulses per second.
They also feature built-in microprocessors
to keep a record of activation.
By the way, the name Compliant Technologies is fucking crazy.
Compliant Technologies states on its website
that they do not cause injury and are used by many agencies.
A user manual on the company's website recommends avoiding use
on the elderly, small children, pregnant women,
and the severely handicapped.
You know what? Compliant Technologies, how about this?
No. No!
If I want to shock a child or a handicapped person with your gloves,
I will.
Can we read that again? Go up again, because that's unbelievable.
So here's the. Avoiding use on the elderly, small children, pregnant women,
and the severely handicapped.
Compliant Technologies shock gloves.
Don't use them on the kids.
Don't use them on a pregnant woman.
Don't use them on the elderly.
As well as that an additional officer should be present
to restrain the subject while the gloves are being used.
So you've got to have somebody there,
to make sure that you're doing this properly.
The last thing you want
is to be grabbing someone with these gloves,
these shock gloves,
and for someone to think you're doing the wrong thing.
Truly.
You need someone there.
You don't want. Because, again, people will get the wrong idea
if you are just grabbing someone
and shocking them with your hands,
like, I guess,
Edward Scissorhands.
Well, he had scissors.
That movie, Powder.
Remember that movie, Powder?
We may or may not deploy them.
So wait a minute.
Hold on.
Unlike a taser, which has barbs and breaks the skin
and delivers a shock of up to 50,000 volts,
overriding the central nervous system,
the gloves deliver a sharp localized shock
to convince the subject to comply using pain deterrence.
Said Lieutenant Butch Galleon,
a Donkey Kong villain.
Lieutenant Butch. Lieutenant Butch Galleon,
an administrator at Hawkins County Jail in Tennessee.
It just depends on how they act.
When you push the button to turn them on,
there's a light that displays.
The inmates understand that light.
And often just seeing that light brings compliance.
The shocks can only be delivered when they contact skin,
allowing an officer to touch a subject's clothing
and then move to the skin,
particularly the wrist or the elbow,
if they begin to fight,
if they become combative,
then you can apply the gloves to an area
and the skin. You know,
I just. Here's what I'm. Listen, I always. I believe that we should have law enforcement
and that they should be able to
detain people
and arrest people that have done the wrong thing.
I don't know if moving in this direction
is the right way to go.
I will say that.
I don't know if moving in the shock glove direction
is the right way to go.
I know that there are. There are people that feel like that is a good move
and it is the future.
I just don't know.
I don't know that it feels great
to have people delivering localized electric shocks
because here's what it is.
The cops are no longer trained.
Many of them aren't physically fit.
Let's be honest.
A lot of them look like that woman on the Today Show.
And they're out there
and they can't handle. They can't handle when the suspect fights back
so we have to give them, like, you know,
crazy gadgets.
This is like Inspector Gadget.
You know, just gadgets.
Grab the shock gloves
and I'm heading out with my shock gloves.
And I understand that people get wild out there.
People resist arrest and do some gnarly stuff.
You know, how many times have I talked about hymns, folks?
It's unbelievable.
I mean, it's just. Are you nuts already with the hymns you gotta do?
Do it.
I'm telling you right now,
the moment you notice something's off in the bedroom,
it tends to stick with you.
Many people sit on it longer than they should.
Hymns makes it simple to actually do something about it
with real treatment options 100% online.
Hymns connects you with licensed healthcare providers,
giving you simple access
to legitimate ED treatment options from home.
No awkward appointments, no pharmacy lines,
just a complete, simple online intake.
And a provider will review your information
to determine if treatment is right for you.
If prescribed, your treatment ships directly to your door.
In discreet packaging.
That includes Slidinifil,
also known as the generic for Viagra,
available through hymns at up to 95% less
than the brand name version.
If that option isn't right for you,
there are additional treatment options available
so you can find what works best for your body.
It's straightforward, transparent,
and designed to make getting care feel easy.
To get simple online access
to personalized affordable care for ED, hair loss, and more,
visit hymns.com slash Tim.
That's H-I-M-S dot com slash Tim.
Hymns dot com slash Tim.
Not available online.
All 50 states.
Prescription required.
See website for details, restrictions,
and important safety information.
Slidinifil is a generic version of Viagra.
Viagra is a registered trademark of Viatras Specialty LLC.
Hymns is not affiliated with or endorsed by Viatras.
Everyone talks about Helix.
I have a bunch of people that came and stayed with me
this summer, and they've all said,
Helix, these mattresses are the greatest.
Literally 100%.
Every mattress I have is Helix.
I would never have any other mattress.
It is so easy.
You can take a quiz.
They'll tell you what kind of,
mattress is right for you.
They have free shipping,
seamless delivery,
120-night sleep trial,
limited lifetime warranty.
I have the Midnight Deluxe,
which I think is like one of their best ones,
but they have so many ones.
I like a firm mattress.
You might not.
The Happy with Helix Guarantee
rests easy with seamless returns and exchanges.
The Happy with Helix Guarantee
offers a risk-free,
customer-first experience
designed to ensure you're completely satisfied
with your new mattress.
Helix is the most awarded mattress brand,
tested and reviewed by experts like Forbes and Wired.
I love Helix.
All my guests love Helix.
Go to helixsleep.com
right now slash Tim D.
helixsleep.com slash Tim D
for Labor Day early access.
No, not for that.
Labor Day Best of Web.
Go to helix.com slash Tim D
for Labor Day Best of the Web.
27% off site-wide.
Exclusive for listeners of this show.
27% off site-wide.
I'm telling you, get your mattresses now.
If you're a parent,
start the school year for the kids off right.
Get all the new mattresses.
If you're just wanting to get,
you know, you're getting back into the fall,
you're getting back to the,
that's the real year.
The year isn't January through January.
It's September.
Starts the year, really.
That's the way I feel.
So, this is the way to do it.
helix.com slash Tim D.
But let's watch some of this.
Let's give everyone a fair hearing.
Let's watch some of this.
I'm a cop.
Tonight, facing criticism
over use of force in some arrests,
ICE says it has a new tool
for officers dealing with non-compliant
suspects. Spending
$20 million to purchase thousands
of devices known as the
glove, which shock people
who do not comply with officers.
These demonstration videos
released by the manufacturer.
A senior DHS official. Can you do that again? Please do that again.
Do that again.
So, that's what's going to be going on.
That's the sound you're going to hear
when you're eating
a muffin in the morning
and have a coffee.
You're just going to hear. Let's watch that one more time.
A senior DHS official tells NBC News
News, officers will be able to turn on the gloves, also known as zap gloves, at the touch of a button,
emitting a shock they say won't leave a mark or hurt the person after they are released. Saying
it allows officers to avoid using firearms and is better than pepper spray, which can impact
bystanders. In a statement to NBC News, DHS says every decision is made with careful consideration
and appropriately reviewed to ensure any technology ICE utilizes is consistent with
all applicable law enforcement policies and standards. That
is, you know, again, I'm skeptical if this is the right direction to move into as a country. I don't
think it is. I don't think, you know, we were able to, you know, detain people and restrain people
for years and years and years without this technology. I don't know what has happened.
It would make this technology necessary. And if you don't think this will be used on you or someone
you know, eventually you're crazy. I mean, this is not going to be simply for people that have
committed crimes. This, all of this stuff, the flock cameras, all of it is coming. It's not
coming to just make you safe. They don't care if you're safe. Again, all of it is coming to build
a surveillance grid that is like nothing else that has ever existed in history. Listen to me now.
Nothing in history will be, you will not be able to find a comp, a comparable in history for the
level of surveillance that they're going to employ. At the cellular level here, they're going to
monitor your hopes and dreams, everything you type into Google, all of your text messages, every email,
every phone call.
Your physical location with your phone camera, they're going to have flock cameras and license
plate readers and facial recognition, biometric eye scans. They're going to have all of these
things. You'll be in a web of surveillance, unlike any that has existed in history.
And all of that is designed because what is coming is going to be very disruptive. And they
know that. They're aware that what is coming is going to be very disruptive. It has to
probably do with the eventual disruptions to the economy with AI. It could be a major war. It could
be a climate event. Whatever they think is coming, or it could be all three, whatever they think is
coming, they are building this surveillance grid so that when it comes, they are able to address
the disruptions in society that this will cause. This is going to cause significant
pressures in society. There's no way that this is all being done. And by the way, at a breakneck
pace, this is happening quick. They want this stuff happening quick. There's already a thousand
flock cameras in New York. There's already, I found out what it was a week ago. Here's the
thing. This is the way technology will work now. You'll find out what something was a week ago,
and then it'll just be being used. It'll be being used. How many flock cameras are in NYC? Let's see
if we can get that up. Maybe I'm overreacting, but let's see what's going on here. It's probably
more than I would like. I would like none. Oh, okay. There's zero right now. Well, that's good.
But hold on. Wasn't there an Upper West Side thing, flock camera? Well, they're coming.
I imagine they're coming. There was like a flock camera story out of New York City
What is this? This is a map of all the flock cameras. They just said there was no flock
cameras. Maybe this is what they're going to put in. I don't know what's going on, but the flock
cameras are coming. I thought, because by the way, people are destroying them. So people are
seeing them all over the place. People are going and destroying these because people do not like
them. But they are coming. And this is the way technology is going to work. You'll hear about
this shot glove. And then all of a sudden you'll be somebody will shot glove you. You'll be like,
what the fuck? Like, that's how quick it's going to be now. How can I check the location of flock?
I mean, look at that. Put that up right there. That is a map, I believe, of this is the reported
neighborhood. Now, the flock cameras are supposedly going to only be used again if
someone shoots somebody and they'll only be used for public safety and everything like that. Don't
worry about it. They're not going to be used for any other reason. Just like everything else we've
been told. All of these things are coming, obviously, because there's some level of
multiple events. And I'm not even saying people have an exact idea of what they are, but they
might. They have some scenarios drawn up that will require this level of surveillance, this
level of control for sure. Look at that. I thought that was places where they had the Taco Bell
lettuce. I'm kidding. And by the way, let's support Taco Bell. I really want to support Taco Bell right
now. There's a lot. They got a lot of bad press, but Taco Bell is the one fast food restaurant that
we still like. We still like it. It warms our hearts. Yeah, yeah, yeah. If you're from the South,
it's Chick-fil-A for you. Whatever. Taco Bell's the nostalgia. You're out with your buddies. You're
the best food you can get in the world. When you're high and you're a teenager, Taco Bell is
the greatest food in the world. And how lucky that there's one in the next town over. And it's
amazing. And you know, I've talked about this. I did an episode many years ago called Fat Girl
with a Clean Car, because one of my friends was a fatty boom baddie, but she would never eat
in front of us. She always had an immaculate car, very clean. And then one day we just noticed,
on the dashboard, was a perfectly diced Taco Bell tomato. A perfectly diced tomato that had come out
of a, and I didn't even mention it, but she had gotten it all. She had gotten it all out, except
for one perfectly diced tomato that could have fallen out of a chalupa, a gordita. It was there.
It was a clean car. Always smelled great. Always smelled like a cupcake. They do that icing scent.
But Taco Bell, to me, is a part of my childhood. And yes, can you get up, R.I.P. the lettuce that
did kill the man, the 47-year-old man who did shit himself to death? Bring that up, because that is
unfortunate. And we want to also, if we're going to defend Taco Bell, let's also kind of memorialize
this man who gave his life.
Yeah. For Taco Bell. Oh, wait. Now they're saying no deaths have reported? So it's fake.
I heard a guy died. I heard someone died. I heard a 47-year-old guy died from this
cyclospora thing. Is this complete fraud? Wow. It's fraud. I don't even believe this was real,
this thing. By the way, I told nine people. I
had it to get out of things, because it was just an excuse. Don't ever waste an excuse that's
public. If something is public, just say, I've got that parasite lettuce thing, I think. If
something is public, never waste an excuse. Okay, yeah, so two people have died in Michigan. Let's
watch this, because we do want to mourn the dead who gave their lives. Come on, here it is.
Being blamed on at least two deaths. Now, the illness is not typically deadly. However,
these two people who died,
had underlying health conditions, and they came down with the foodborne parasite.
Caroline Elliott with the update tonight. The infamous explosive diarrhea parasite has now
turned deadly in Michigan, after the state reported the first two deaths linked to the
outbreak. There are hospitalizations. In the arms of the angel. Please keep going.
Leave the immunocompromised or individuals that have some really bad reactions to that.
According to the Michigan Department of Health.
Health and Human Services, both patients have significant underlying health conditions and
died after getting the foodborne virus. When someone is ill, they should, after a couple of
days of experiencing the watery diarrhea, and if it doesn't go away, they should definitely seek
medical attention. Michigan is the hardest hit among the 45 states reporting cases, with more
than 11,000 total, and as of late July, nearly 200 hospitalizations. Federal health officials linked
the outbreak to lettuce.
This is the first case reported of lettuce imported from Mexico that served at Taco Bell locations around the country, and since then, some producers
have seen all right get it out of here get it out of here r.i.p to the people the last thing
they heard was that crunch that taco bell crunch can you get that up can you just get the taco
bell crunch sound because that's the last thing they heard and what a beautiful way to go out by
the way i don't know if you'll be able to get the crunch but what a beautiful way to go out that was
the final act their final act was to go through a taco bell there it is oh that's kind of an r.i.p
that's for whom the bell tolls let's go last thing they heard there it is one more time r.i.p
to
you
okay give it to me again one more time and by the way if i was at their funeral i would say
and now for a moment of silence that's right that was the last thing and that's sad it is very sad
but it is a good way to go you drive through you get a nice treat you eat and i hope it was a good
one see that's the thing you don't want some taco bells it's just you get it
you go what the hell were you guys doing back there because sometimes the beans are on the
outside of the thing like sometimes the taco bell goop that's supposed to stay in it is leaking out
and it's on the outside it looks like shit shit colored so you go just keep it in it's got to be
in you don't want to see the inside just want to eat it and kind of stare um i hope it was a good
i hope after that they said this was a tasty nice one that's the best you can hope i hope
after they had that final you know burrito you know perhaps a burrito supreme or something i
hope they went that was a crunch wrap supreme i hope they said god that was a good one
because then unfortunately and i not to be indelicate about it but after that they did
shit themselves to death i'm not trying to be indelicate but that's literally what happened
and that taco bell's trying to rebrand now because
a couple of people shit themselves to death so taco bell now is like all right let's bring some
oldies back because they go to the ceo they go listen this thing's getting out of control a lot
of people getting sick and he's like any deaths because they don't care about anything right
other than death death is a bad one they don't care how sick you got as long as you're not dead
number one the press isn't that bad for them number two you're still a customer so they went
to the ceo and they go hey we got two deaths from this and he goes all right bring back the entorito
bring back let's get let's get the quesarito back for a couple of days
let's go old school okay let's read this taco bell story i know i'm late to this story folks but i
don't care taco bell's completed the removal of affected taylor farms lettuce from our restaurants
based on ongoing conversations with public health officials now out of abundance of caution talk
about work swiftly to voluntarily remove the product good for them good for them
and listen we extend our greatest our sympathies to the families of the two people but by the way
what what would you rather jump off an aircraft carrier in the ocean like a like some cock or
die like a man with a crunch wrap wrapper in the front of your car you know that's how they found
these people they found them in their cars with a crunch wrap wrapper on the front seat
in their own shit they found them in a pool of their own shit with a crunch wrap wrapper in the
front seat listen some people say not a dignified way to go but who cares it's not about the body
it's about the soul millions of men ditching ditching the workforce data shows good for them
work sucks so apparently a lot of men have had enough with working good let's make this a little
bigger because here's the deal
i think millions of men are ditching the workforce and experts are sounding the alarm
here's the thing folks with these jobs you know they're not fun anymore the bureau of labor
statistics break breakdown found that 44 million of the 132 million eligible men older than 15
were not in the labor force last month so that's about 33 percent of men are not in the labor force
that's 9 million more out-of-work men than in 2012 where 29 percent were not in the workforce
so now it's up to 33 percent the number of men opting not to work jumped by 891,000 over the
preceding 12 months alone and as the economy sheds manufacturing and finance jobs
yeah the american economy has gradually moved away from some of the industries that historically
provided good jobs to men without college degrees meanwhile much of the recent employment growth has
occurred in areas such as health care and employment in the United States and in the
healthcare and education where women make up a much larger share of the workforce Mr. Boulier cited
research showing that men who stay home in their 30s to play video games or seek social media fame
find it progressively harder to return traditional to return to traditional work and are more likely
to end up incarcerated well that's negative that's a little negative Mr. Boulier
hey
i don't
think the guys playing video games are trying to get social media fame need negativity from that
goon shut up support people support people in your life if someone tells you they're going to be
famous support them no matter what no matter what it does to their life support them they're going
to be an influencer and talk about cupcakes you support them they're going to flick their bean on
only fans you support them they're going to be an influencer and talk about cupcakes you support
them they're going to be a gamer they're going to be Mr. Beast you support them damn right you support
them you don't tell them they got to get a nine-to-five job at a fucking bank you tell them
you support whatever crap they're doing on the internet that's our that's the that's the message
you have to be positive when your drug addicted child wanders up from the basement and tells you
they got things going on in crypto you say good for you son
you don't tell them to go to college like some fucking loser you say i'm proud of you and one
day you'll be living in miami with uh what's his name uh clavic and you go clavicular dad
you're going to be living with clavicular soon you're my son you're my son you're going to be
living in miami with clavicular i got a job like a fucking cuck and your mother walked all over me
okay she ruined my life i i slaved away for you and your mother
to pay for this house how lucky i would have been to grow up at a time when i knew that i could be
like uh go to miami and be like clavicular you should support your children i'm telling you i
know people think i'm kidding i'm not you should support your children they don't need to hear
that they need an internship let them loose
let them loose on the internet
i'm telling you
you go hey we're getting we're getting views we're catfishing pedophiles and then hitting them
with sticks good for you son and then you tell your friends you go my son's putting his ass on
the internet he's catching pedophiles and they're and they're filming them down at the park and this
kid's making some real money now these are the new jobs just go with it what are they going to
be lawyers that's retarded no one even knows what that is i'm gonna be a lawyer shut up
go catfish a pedophile at the park put your pussy on the street
get into fucking forex trading start talking about currencies
get into fucking crypto get into ai weird shit start using ai to build apps that no one cares
about that's another big thing now it doesn't matter there's a whole new group of jobs and
it does us nothing by the way to think of like that people are going to go back to the old world
be a gamer do pranks do pranks on people
do pranks on people why do you need what are you going to be a doctor do pranks
do pranks collapse in the middle of a grocery store pretend you're dead
start foaming at the mouth put alcohol in your mouth start foaming
and twitching in a grocery store and film people's reactions
these are the new jobs now the jobs are not going to be in things we understand
be an irl streamer walk around miami and just film yourself humping food delivery robots
it's what it is now these are the new jobs good for you son this is my boy
now what do you do son the other day he filmed the fight where a guy died and he
got three million views and then the cops also are they're taking all of that they're confiscating
it as evidence i'm proud of my son
my son's an IRL streamer.
I'm proud of my son.
You have to be proud.
My daughter does OnlyFans.
And I'm proud of her.
You have to start saying these things.
You can't fight this.
You have to start saying,
my daughter has a really good,
she's got a great business on OnlyFans.
And you tell your friends this.
Because she does fetish.
There's a lot of people,
because you're going to go,
listen, we never thought she was that great looking.
To be honest, me and her mother were kind of shocked
when she told us how well she was doing on OnlyFans.
But then she told us she was doing fetish.
And I mean weird shit.
Things that you wouldn't even think are sexual.
You're going to have to tell this to your friends at a lunch.
Things you wouldn't even think are sexual.
Things with eggs and stuff.
I'm telling you, it's weird.
I don't understand it.
Then the mother comes in.
She goes, I don't even understand what's
sexual about what she's doing.
She does different fetishes.
And people will message her.
And they will ask her to do different things.
And she will do most of them.
Some of the ones that she won't do
are because she felt that her own safety
was compromised by them.
But we're very proud of her.
She's got a really good business.
She's always had, and then your friends,
your friends are not going to blink at this anymore.
Your friends are going to go,
she's always had a good head on her shoulders.
Your daughter's always had a good head on her shoulders.
And then one of your friends might go,
I don't want to make it awkward,
but I subscribed to her.
I actually subscribed to the channel.
And what she did yesterday was she just,
she took her high heel shoe
and she just crushed a roach very slowly.
And I'm telling you right now,
I don't know why,
but I, I, I just couldn't,
I just, I came.
I pleasured myself.
And these are no longer going to be strange conversations
And your wife's going to go
You might as well, you spent the money
And you're not going to mind that your friend has confessed
That he has pleasured himself to your daughter
You're going to say
Well, she's got a good business, doesn't she, Frank?
You're going to go, you know, she's got a real personality on there
She's got a real personality on there
And she'll do a lot of interesting things, my daughter
She'll do a lot of interesting things
That's what it's going to be, folks
You can keep trying to get people back into the firehouse or whatever
But no one's going to want to put out fires in this country
People are just going to watch things burn
So there is no
You're not going to get people into these jobs
Just encourage what they want to do
If your son walks up and goes
I got to get really hot and move to Miami and become rich
Or I'm going to jump off the balcony and kill myself
You know what you say to him?
I agree with you
Son, I agree
Son, years ago I would tell you to go to college and get a good job
And then you'd get a house
But what the fuck?
You can't do
What is that going to do?
College, good job
I mean, what is this, 2004?
Follow your passion, son
Go and catfish a pedophile in the park
Put it on camera
And really try to build something
You know, you've always looked younger than you are
Utilize that
Catfish pedophiles
These are the new jobs
People can be mad at it
People don't have to like it
But these are 100% fully the new jobs in our society
In our ecosystem
And if you're a loving parent
You're going to have to start
Realizing that
And encouraging your children
To do these jobs
You're going to have to encourage your children
To do these jobs
You know, and there's a lot
A lot of people are going to disagree with me
And go, no
We actually want our kids to go the more traditional route
Yeah, sure
So they what?
Jump off the aircraft carrier into the ocean?
What you need is to encourage your children
Encourage them
If your daughter
I'm starting an OnlyFans
Your son's like, we're just walking around
You know, finding dead bodies
And playing with them
On camera
You go, good for you
Son, I wish I am
You're so lucky
You're so lucky
I used to go to an office every day
And then have to go to your parent-teacher conference
But you get to go to Miami
And basically watch and film people kill each other
Outside of a club
Son, I mean, that's the life
You're down there with your boys
You're watching someone get killed
Somebody gets brained on the street
And you're watching it
That's the life
That's the life, isn't it?
You know?
And your mother
Your mother will be resentful
She'll be like, if only I knew about
If only we had OnlyFans
I wouldn't have to work at the rec center
I could have just put an egg in my pussy
Like my daughter
She put an egg in her pussy
Now she's a millionaire
That's what's coming
Embrace it
Truly
Truly
Embrace it
Don't
Don't fight it
Because at the end of the day
You're only fighting what's inevitable
These are your children
You want them to be happy
You want them to be happy
And the only way they're going to be happy
Is if they're moguls or whores
Everyone in our society
Can only fight what's inevitable
You can only be happy
If they're a mogul
Or a whore
So when you tuck them in
At night
You know they're 32
They still live with you
Tuck them in
You go, you're my little whore
You're my little mogul
And you're my little whore
And I believe in you
You're going to be the biggest whore of them all
I am, aren't I, daddy?
Yes, you are
You're going to be the biggest whore of them all
That's what you have to do
Love your children
Good night
Podcast Summary
Key Points:
Tim Dillon opens with a personal anecdote about a hemorrhoid before discussing news stories.
Multiple sailors on the USS Abraham Lincoln attempted suicide by jumping overboard due to extended deployment, poor conditions (food shortages, rotten meat), and mental health struggles.
Tim criticizes the Navy's handling and suggests harsh, satirical solutions like shooting deserters, while mocking the idea of rescue efforts.
He attacks morning TV host Savannah Guthrie for questioning actress Chrissy Metz about her weight loss on a GLP-1 drug, framing it as a toxic societal pressure on body positivity.
Tim discusses ICE's plan to use electric shock gloves (up to 380 volts) for de-escalation, calling it dystopian and part of a growing surveillance state.
He mocks a Taco Bell lettuce outbreak linked to two deaths, joking about the victims' final moments and the company's rebranding tactics.
He comments on millions of men leaving the workforce, encouraging parents to support children pursuing unconventional careers like OnlyFans, streaming, or pranks, rather than traditional jobs.
Summary:
In this episode, Tim Dillon mixes comedy with social commentary on recent news. He starts by joking about his hemorrhoid before diving into reports of multiple sailors on the USS Abraham Lincoln attempting suicide by jumping overboard due to overextended deployments and poor living conditions, including food shortages and mental health crises. Tim criticizes the Navy's response, satirically suggesting shooting deserters to maintain discipline, while also mocking the absurdity of rescue efforts.
He then shifts to Savannah Guthrie's interview with actress Chrissy Metz, where she questions Metz's weight loss via GLP-1 drugs. Tim condemns this as toxic, arguing that Metz owes no explanation for her health choices, and sarcastically ties Guthrie's personal family drama into the critique. Next, he discusses ICE's acquisition of electric shock gloves, warning of a dystopian future with increased surveillance and control.
He also jokes about a Taco Bell lettuce outbreak causing deaths, framing it as an undignified but humorous end. Finally, Tim addresses men leaving the workforce, urging parents to embrace their children's unconventional paths—like OnlyFans, streaming, or pranks—as the new normal, rather than pushing traditional careers. Throughout, he blends dark humor with critiques of modern society, media, and government overreach.
FAQs
Multiple U.S. sailors on the USS Abraham Lincoln attempted to jump overboard due to overextended deployment, with reports of exhaustion, homesickness, and deteriorating mental health. One sailor spent about an hour in the water before being rescued.
The Navy stated they had not observed an increase in suicidal ideations aboard the ship, calling the incident isolated. However, the sailor's wife accused the Navy of poor communication, as she was not informed until four days later.
Reports detailed food shortages, including no milk for three months and rotten meat, as well as water contamination, plumbing problems, and poor living conditions. Senator Richard Blumenthal pressed Navy leadership for answers.
Tim Dillon suggested that people should be allowed to kill themselves and that the military should not rescue those who jump overboard, even proposing to shoot them. This sparked criticism for being insensitive.
Chrissy Metz, a symbol of the body positivity movement, faced criticism for using a GLP-1 to lose weight. On the Today Show, Savannah Guthrie questioned her decision, implying some fans felt betrayed, but Metz defended her choice for health reasons.
ICE plans to spend up to $20 million on electric shock gloves that deliver up to 380 volts to subdue non-compliant suspects. The manufacturer recommends avoiding use on the elderly, small children, pregnant women, and the severely handicapped.
Chat with AI
Loading...
Pro features
Go deeper with this episode
Unlock creator-grade tools that turn any transcript into show notes and subtitle files.