504 - Lindsey Graham, Invading Iran & The Summer of Sh*t

Ladies and gentlemen, welcome to the Tim Dillon Show. Lindsey Graham is no longer with us. And, you know, this is a tough moment for our country. And he, it says CNN, he asked the staffer to call 911 after reporting chest pains. But most people are saying he was blown up in a Ukrainian drone facility that he was inspecting by Russia. That Russia might have either poisoned him or they might have blown him to bits. I love these drones. They look good. I love a drone. That's probably the last thing he. He saw was a drone. I love these drones. They're big and hard. They fly through the air, these drones. And they kill a lot of bad people. Some people gotta be killed. I don't know. It feels like people are saying that the timeline does not add up. And that Lindsey Graham, who was pretty. Seemed fine. Seemed fine. But, I mean, Trump said that his dad died of the same thing around the same age, Lindsey Graham's father. And that genetics is genetics. But I want to imagine Russia blowing up a drone facility where Lindsey Graham is. I think it's a better way for him to have died. And I want that to be the. Lasting image I have of Lindsey Graham in my mind. Just kind of like in a drone factory. Hot, sweaty men and big drones. Just kind of in his happy place. You know, sweaty military guys and big drones. And what will you do with these drones? I love these drones. Yeah, I mean, he toured Ukrainian drone factory before his southern. Southern. What a weird thing to do. To tour a drone factory. What an odd thing to do. He went to a drone factory to take a tour. He loves death. I love these drones. He loves death, that guy. He liked the machinery of death. And Graham was reportedly shown vampire bomber drones, also known as Baba Yaga, as well as the Shrike FPV drone and the P-1 Sun Shahed interceptors. He was happy as a pig in shit. They were. A bunch of sweaty guys were showing him the drones in the factory. It was a hot summer day in the Ukraine and he was walking through the drone factory. And listen, the guy had a life. The guy had a life. And it was an American life. It was a very American life to kind of be this kind of deeply closeted southern warm-up. And he was walking through the drone factory. It's not at all out of place here. It's a very American life. No one should doubt that. I've got this new theme where I'm not even talking about right or wrong. I'm just going, is it American? It's the month of July. So during July, I've really tried to think to myself, like, is this American? Is this on brand? And it is. To be like a Southern, deeply closeted Southern guy, sipping sweet tea, close relationship with his sister, and loves war. And loves war. Because that's what men do. They go to war. And he loved war. And he loved money. And he loved power. And he loved having that ability to go in to Washington, D.C. and order a bunch of people into combat. And, you know, maybe Russia poisoned him. Maybe that drone factory blew up. Maybe it was a sudden illness. But it feels like. Or maybe he got so excited during the drone tour. He got so excited that he went back to Washington, D.C. and he auto-erotically asphyxiated or something, you know? Like, maybe he just really got so excited by this whole thing. It was so sexual. It was so hot that he just went back to his house and just started, you know? Because the drones are kind of phallic, you know? And just imagine, I think there was a part of him that imagines being pierced by a drone. Like, listen, getting fucked by a dick is nice, but imagine a drone. Imagine the mechanical nature of being fucked by a drone. You know? And I think he might have, it might have kind of, it might have awakened something in him. That idea of that kind of, that kind of man and machine. This idea that he could maybe have sexual relations with a drone. That it could potentially, you know, enter him. And listen, maybe in more holes than one, if, you know, number one, orally pleasuring a drone, for sure. Worshipping it. Licking it. Tasting it. Taking it in your mouth as far as it can go. Cutting off your oxygen with it. Breathing through your nose because you have the drone in your mouth. But then also anally spreading your legs for it and letting it enter you and letting it dominate you and feeling submissive towards it because it is machinery that is so advanced. It's just a highly advanced machinery imagining it turning you. Yeah, I mean, take a look at that. There's no way that Lindsey Graham wasn't thinking a little bit at the end about what sexual relations would feel like with a drone on some level. There's no way. And by the way, he's I don't think he's not going to be the last one to think it. He's probably not the first. And he certainly won't be the last. But certainly this idea that you know, maybe he was very excited because this this idea of just kind of like you know, you know being submissive to a drone and respecting the power of the drone you know could be something. Could be something. The idea that I think certainly got Lindsey Graham excited. There's no way it didn't. And by the way, why not? Why not? I mean, I think that we have to stop kink shaming people like Lindsey Graham. But I do think that there's no way he wasn't a little bit turned on during that drone inspection. Which again, such a weird thing. Here are the drones. Ooh, I like these drones. You're such a silly billy with your drones. Yeah, I mean so a bunch of people are going, hey we don't want to hand Russia a propaganda win if if it comes out that they poisoned Lindsey Graham or that they killed him or that he died in the explosion of the Ukrainian drone factory. Which by the way I guess I'm sure you know, obviously we're not going to win. Obviously I'm not an idiot. I know that on some level it would be a propaganda win. But also there would be a lot of people in our country who didn't care. Like most of them. You know, like almost all of them wouldn't care if any of these people by the way if Russia got Ted Cruz or Lindsey Graham or Mitch McConnell like, I don't know most people in our country wouldn't care. care that much, including me. I hope that doesn't sound unpatriotic, but we've been arming the Ukraine to blow the shit out of Russia for years. And I'm not blaming the Ukraine. Russia invaded them. But this is a war. And if Russia decided we're going to kill an old senator that most of you don't like anyway, and the ones that do, it's like a tiny group of people that are directly making money from the decisions this guy makes. Most people don't even know who he is. So we'd have to do something. The problem is if it came out that Russia did this, we'd then have to do something. We'd have to take offensive action against Russia because they maybe killed Lindsey Graham. I wouldn't. And I would not demand that of the government. Literally, if it came out definitively that Russia killed Lindsey Graham, I would just go, well, you know, live by the sword, you know. The guys inspecting drone factories in the Ukraine, Moscow and all of these other cities in Russia are getting hit by Ukrainian drones all the time. Why would they not kill that guy? He's like the loudest voice. One of the loudest voices to keep the party going over there. Keep the party going. Why would Putin not go, yeah, if we can, maybe let's kill this guy? He's in the Ukraine inspecting a drone factory? Why is he even doing that? He's doing it because he likes it. You don't go, this is a beautiful time in our country, the summer. It's one of the times people enjoy. You don't voluntarily go to the, unless Trump served him up on a silver platter to Putin, which is also very possible. Trump might have texted Putin, just kill Lindsey. He's there right now. Putin might have said, I'm fed up with your shit. I'm going to invade Poland or something. Then Trump goes, just kill Lindsey. He's in a drone factory. I'll tell you exactly where he is. Mafia shit. By the way, that's maybe what happened. That's maybe. Exactly what happened. Trump might have said, hey, listen, we know where he is. Just promise me you'll make it quick. This is straight up mob shit. And Trump's like, we're going to say he died of a brief illness. Make it quick. I forget the movie I'm quoting, but then somebody goes, we'll do it and we'll do it our way. It's a mafia movie where it's like, I'm going to do something. I forget what I'm quoting, but this is maybe what happened. I want you to imagine this. Putin says to Trump, I've had enough. I'm going to use nukes or something in Ukraine. I've had enough. I got to do something here. And Trump goes, listen, just kill Lindsey Graham. He's in the drone factory. He'll be there in two days. Just kill him. Kill him. We won't say you did it. You can kind of say you did it, wink and a nod. Your people will know you did it because that's kind of the way Russia operates. The people in Russia don't need a headline to know what happened. Like when the Prigozhin guy went down, when his plane went down, people immediately knew. They're like, yeah, that's what happened. So like Trump might go, we don't want this public. Putin's like, yeah, I get it. And Trump's like, just get rid of Lindsey Graham. Will that satiate you for a little bit? He's like, yeah. Putin might have asked Trump. Putin might have said, we're going to kill Lindsey Graham. And Trump's like, yeah, all right. Trump doesn't care. Trump goes, yeah, just kill Lindsey Graham. Just kill Lindsey Graham. That'll buy us a few months. Kill Lindsey Graham. Your people kind of know you did it. It'll buy us a few months. We're all over the map here. Trump comes out yesterday and goes, the voting's all fucked up. But yet the Republicans won. 2016 and 2024. And now they have the House and the Senate. They have all of those, all of those races they won. And they won the presidency. And he's claiming that the voting is the biggest issue. They genuinely, literally right now have all of the, they have the Congress, the House, I mean, I'm sorry, the House, the Congress, Senate, everything. And they're going out and going, the election was stolen. Now, by the way, I'm not saying there's no voting problems. There's probably voting problems. There's weird laws in California that let people like show up to a polling station with a bunch of ballots, go, hey, my whole family voted and here's what they think. That's weird. But Trump's out there talking about, he's talking about the election. He's talking about the election. He's talking about voting. He's, he's the president. It's the craziest thing I've ever heard. He's like, the voting irregularities and the elections are stolen. But you're, you're the president. You're the president and you're, you ran on a platform of no new wars and you're about to put troops on the ground in Iran. One thousand percent. You are the president. Like, you're not, you're not popping shit from outside of the government. This is the thing when like J.D. Vance goes on Rogan and goes, well, you know, they have this whole discussion about the Epstein docs and J.D. is like, I'll go to my death believing it was a larger conspiracy. You know, it's, it's kind of like these guys like, well, what are you going to do? What are you going to do? It's like, no, you're the, you're the vice president. What are you talking about? J.D. Vance is talking about this. Like he's a guy at a bar. In the town I grew up in on Long Island where he'd be like, I'll always believe it was a conspiracy. You sure? That guy owns a pool company. He's, he's going to, he's going to be like, yeah, what are you going to do? I'll always believe someone on there. This guy's the vice president of the United States of America going on the biggest podcast in the world going, yup. I read all the files. And also I'll always believe there was a greater conspiracy there. I'll always think something was going on, but what am I going to do? I'm the vice president. That's J.D. Vance's character arc right now is his whole entire thing is just telling people what the vice president can't do. Like what about the war in Iran? He goes, you know, there's not much I can do. I just kind of hang out and you know, watch as I'm part of the administration that betrays its voters and does the opposite of everything it said it was going to do. I just kind of hang out. You know, this Epstein thing, who knows, you know, what are you going to do? It's a lot of, what are you going to do? Energy from the vice president. I'm not saying the vice president is like an all powerful figure, but it's just hilarious that like, that's his argument. And what are you going to do? Yeah. These Epstein docs, you know, isn't that nuts, Joe? You heard about that? What? You're the vice president of the United States. This is the, they keep trying to play this game where they're like this folksy kind of like relatable, like, yeah, these fucking elites, these fucking elites with these, they're fucking the kids. They're stealing your money. What? Who? You are doing it. You're the ones who are doing it. And they're relying on the fact that some of their most ardent supporters, the ones who aren't directly being paid off are the stupidest people in the world. So that still works on them. They're like, yeah, fucking Hillary, Hillary Clinton, fucking Hillary Clinton. The guy they're in the white house. They have the Congress. They have the Senate. They have the Supreme court. It is them. It is now them. I don't want to hear about the deep state. I don't want to hear about it anymore. You're playing me for a fool. You're playing everyone for a fool. You brought in cash Patel. You brought in that other guy, Dan Bongino, you threw him out or he left, whatever you brought in pot, Pam Bondi, and then threw her out. I'm sick of hearing about this deep state. All of these people, you have to be one of the stupidest people in the world to fall for this shit at this point. I don't want to hear about this shit. I don't want to hear about this shit at this point. This is you are peddling the dumbest. like, by the way, I hate to use this word but cringe. It's literally cringe. You watch this and you go, I feel so disgusted by the fact that they think people are still gonna believe this shit. Well, it's the deep state. It's the deep state. You guys covered all this shit up. Polymarket has it that we're like, the odds to put boots on the ground before 2027 is almost 30%. It's like a 26% chance. I think it's much higher than that. I think they're wrong on this. Because there's nothing to do. There's nowhere to go. There's two options here. Nuke, boots on the ground. And you've got a guy in there who might do a combination. Might do one or the other. He might do both. Who knows what the fuck he does. And they know, Israel knows that they can't allow Iran to be anything functional. And a lot of the war hawks in America and the people they know that Iran cannot be functional at all. It can be chaos. It's not gonna look like Vermont. It's not gonna look like Newport Beach. They know that. So it can be chaos. It can be nuts. It can be nuts like warring factions and crazy. That's fine. It could look like the bar from Star Wars. But what it can't be is any type of functional country. So you gotta, that's why we're bombing the shit out of them right now. Civilian losses are going up. We're inflicting pain. We're trying to fucking show them that we can hurt them and will hurt them. But it won't be enough again unless we put boots on the ground. And by the way, I should I think they're wrong 26% by the way. I think it's much higher. Because there's nowhere else to go. There's genuinely nowhere else to go. What exactly are we gonna do here? And I obviously don't want it to happen. Do you think J.D. Vance will go back on Rogan when there are boots on the ground in Iran and go, yeah, I don't, you know, it's gonna do. That's why, I mean, have you seen this? Have you seen this show? These boots on the ground in Iran? That's wild, huh? That's crazy. He has like this detached intellectual thing he does. J.D. Vance, like he's not a part, like he's like a commentator. He's like, you know, like he's like, well, yeah, you know, this is, it's interesting, this Epstein stuff. It's interesting. So I wonder when we have boots on the ground in Iran. Yeah, here we go. Let's, let's, this is a J.D. Vance friend of the show here talking about Jeffrey Epstein on the Joe Rogan podcast. What I have seen, and I've looked at most of the files, is that they're just. By the way, can we stop for a minute? How does he have time to like write a book, read all of the Epstein, like how does he have the time to do this, by the way? Is there, is there, he's wrote a book. He's, he's reading all of the Epstein files. What, when's he doing that? He's also a dad, a husband, the vice president. When's he doing that? What is he doing? Is he reading them to the kids at night? Is he reading the Epstein files to the children? Is that the reading material for the household? How exactly does this work that you're reading the Epstein files every day? Is that odd? Anyway, let's, let's listen here. What I have seen, and I've looked at most of the files, is there just wasn't dispositive evidence. And if that was dispositive evidence ever existed, it was probably destroyed after 2006, 2007. Now, like again, in, in our defense, yes, was there some, you know, bitching and moaning and was there some back and forth? Yes. But there, we eventually collected 6 million documents as part of. It wasn't 6 million. It wasn't 6 million. The president, people say the president. That's a holo, that was a holocaust joke. Those of you paying attention, that was a joke about the holocaust. I'm not saying the holocaust wasn't 6 million, but what an odd number of documents. J.D. Vance is screaming 6 million. What a strange. All right, continue. The idea that Donald Trump could not have killed that legislation, especially with the United States Senate, is a joke. He absolutely could have killed it. What did he do? He actually said, nope, we're going to release these files. He thought, you know, he was annoyed by the story. He was annoyed by the Democrats' accusing him of doing things bad. By the way, like, do I think there is any, I've never seen. Stop it for a minute. He was annoyed that the Democrats were, can you play that again? That like. Absolutely could have killed it. What did he do? He was annoyed by the Democrats accusing him of doing things bad. He was annoyed that the Democrats were accusing him of doing things bad. He said that the Democrats were accusing him of doing things bad. It was annoying to him. Yeah, I mean, this, this is, again, the demographic of people that this appeals to or that this works on. I mean, I've met some of them, so I know who they are. And I'm not going to claim that I don't know them. I know some of them intimately. Now, all over the internet now going, this guy's on a press tour for a book. We're days away from troops on the ground in Iran. The Middle East is a total nightmare. The economy is a nightmare. There's trades of Hormuz. There's going to be like a massive oil crisis soon. And they've given so much money to big tech and AI. I tell myself all the time I have to pinch myself. It's it's crazy. So now, by the way, just to remind everyone what this was here, let's go talk to let's play this clip that today about what Epstein was doing. And God only knows. And I and I want to play this clip for people because there is this idea, for whatever reason, that Jeffrey Epstein was like a Gadsby like figure who surrounded himself with like, young, mostly legal aides. And though morally questionable, was not a guy that was into was not something we wasn't to pedophile or nothing he was doing was illegal, or that he wasn't blackmailing anyone or that he wasn't like working with. I know JD says that thing on Rogan where he's like, yeah, he had relationships with this intelligence agency and that one and he was all over the map and I'll go to my death believing there was a greater conspiracy. But basically, what JD say is like, we don't plan to do anything about it. We don't plan to flesh out the dimension of whatever quote conspiracy there was. We don't want to find these things out. Although we have to concede that there's some real questions to be asked, because we know you're all not that retarded. We know that some of you have some level of your brains that are still functioning. Some level of your brains are still functioning. I know that they're soaking in frappuccinos and energy drinks. And, you know, you're having strokes on the way to work and everything. The air quality is bad. There's fecal matter in the ocean. You know, we've poisoned you nine ways till Sunday. Your kids are chewing Adderall. We get it. We know how much we've broken your attention spans and brains. Algorithms corrupt your ability to focus on anything for more than 20 seconds. But still, even in that insane hellscape that we've created, some of you are able to focus. And we're not going to let you down. We can't tell you that there's nothing to see here, which, by the way, we tried to months ago when this whole thing happened. We tried to go out and go, man, nothing to see here. We were wrong. Sorry. But then we've actually had to, because when the evidence came pouring out, we had to come out and go, no, no, no. Yeah, there is. This is weird. This is weird. Here is a this is 60 Minutes Australia, right? Again, it's not a conspiracy program, not a crazy program, not something. that's completely insane, that says QAnon, that Joe Biden's a clone, and whatever. Ellen DeGeneres has Kuru, that cannibal disease, which would be hilarious if she had it. I've seen no evidence that she has it, but if Ellen DeGeneres died of Kuru, that cannibal disease from eating children, it would be very funny. Obviously not for the children she ate, but for me personally. If I read that and it was from a respectable place, Ellen DeGeneres dies of Kuru, the disease you get from bushmeat, but I'm saying that this is not one of those sites. This is 60 Minutes Australia talking about Jeffrey Epstein, who was engaged in this weird Dr. Strangelove type of science experiments and shit in that New Mexico ranch, and I always wondered, I'm like, why don't you hear more about that New Mexico ranch? It's all about that island, and now that island's creepy as fuck, and there was, we know that the island is also probably the source of a lot of immorality, illegality, evil, monstrous behavior, God only knows, but the ranch in New Mexico is super creepy. They're actually trying to investigate it, and I believe the Trump administration is trying to shut it down, the investigation. We can look into that in a second, but again, this ranch in New Mexico, it's in the middle of nowhere, Zorro Ranch. So all of this guy's properties, you would say to yourself, if this guy's just hanging out with 19-year-olds and hotties, and he's, you know, he's like a pimp, why is he, why does he have these lairs in the middle of nowhere? It just doesn't make any sense. Like, yeah, he had a house in Manhattan, he had a townhouse in Manhattan, he had a house in Palm Beach. He was in areas where people were, but he also, in addition to that, has these very isolated, very strange, in the middle of nowhere lairs, like in the middle of New Mexico or an island. And you start saying to yourself, that's interesting, and I wonder what was going on there. And this guy is into some weird stuff. Let's take a listen to this. Girls waking up in sort of like a dark room with like a female doctor standing over them, feeling like, maybe there is some kind of procedure that had happened that they weren't aware of. And I believe this is in the file. Sure, there's something in there about a baby actually being born and then just disappearing, like Ghislaine taking it. I personally never witnessed anything like that, but I do remember overhearing conversations about trying to create the perfect baby, the perfect baby, the perfect gene pool. And I know that there was, sort of a hunt, if you will, for the perfect gene pool. Zorro was a wacky hideaway for Epstein and his cronies and a place to enact their most freakish fantasies, including at one point, a plan for a controversial designer baby and human cloning project, in which emails from the files show the maniacal Epstein was prepared to invest in as long as he remained anonymous. We were hearing some of the most horrible and heinous things that anyone could imagine. The allegations span everything from the harvesting of sex organs to allegations of women having forced abortions or forced pregnancies or coerced pregnancies. I think when we think about the stories and the span of stories, it sounds fictional. It sounds like a horror film. Well, there you go. Forced Pregnancy, friend of the show. Jeffrey Epstein, at his Zorro ranch in New Mexico, this guy had interest in transhumanism. He was a eugenicist. He wanted to create the perfect race. He wanted to seed the planet with his DNA in some weird way. He hung out with Bill Gates and all these creepy scientists. He would bring all these nerd scientists and get them young pussy. And then try to, I guess, ply them for information or get them on board with whatever project he was looking into. But the fact that this guy was able to do all of this for decades without any real pushback, any consequences, one slap on the wrist, sweetheart deal. And the idea that, like, this is not really reported. I mean, we have to go to 60 Minutes Australia, by the way, to find out. Where's the New York Times on this? It's a little, it suggests that, to me, it suggests that, like, Epstein was another thing. Like, we tend to think of, like, spies as, like, 007. James Bond, you know, we tend to think of Mission Impossible. We tend to think of, like, the Bourne Supremacy. That's what we think of as, like, spies. Like, covert operatives running around the world trying to best each other at the game of espionage. And he's not doing that. It's not him. He's not Jason Bourne. Okay. But there's all kinds of spies. Not all spies are Jason Bourne. Not all spies are running around with, you know, poison ink in a pen and killing you that way. So then you go, well, then there's, there's analysts that sit in the CIA and type up reports based on what the Jason Bourne people say. He's not doing that. He wasn't, like, sitting in the CIA decoding all this raw intelligence and typing up and writing reports. And handing them to somebody and going, oh, here's the reports that we got from the station chief in Istanbul about the Muslim Brotherhood. And here's what they said. And somebody, we have a cafe bugged. And one of our guys runs the cafe and he heard them talking about blah, blah, blah. He's not doing that. That's not his job. Okay. So he's not Jason Bourne. He's not, he's not like, he's not like an analyst, he's not an analyst. He's not like an intelligence analyst sitting there decoding intelligence and writing reports. He's not doing that. He's not a guy who seems to be really publicly advocating for a specific company. So he's not like running around going like, it's all about Palantir. You got to get on board with Honeywell or General Dynamics or whatever. But he's this other thing. This like weird, strange other thing. And his life makes no sense from the beginning of it till the end of it. The beginning of his life where he's like a math teacher at a prep school. And then he's working at an investment bank. And then he owns the largest piece of real estate, Manhattan. And then he's controlling Les Wexner's entire fortune. And then he's experimenting potentially on women in a ranch in New Mexico because he's into this weird, like, you know, eugenics. And then supposedly he kills himself in the most secure prison in the country. None of it makes any sense at all. And then J.D. Vance is on Rogan going, yeah, I'll always, I'll always believe there's something going on. So here, this is the New York Times. I will have to apologize to the New York Times because they wrote about this, but they're not writing about, I don't see a lot of the eugenic stuff in the New York Times. You can correct me if I'm wrong, but I don't see that. Because that's even like too disturbing for them. But New Mexico, New Mexico accuses Department of Justice of obstructing Epstein Ranch inquiry. New Mexico's Attorney General unveiled a letter he sent last week to the acting U.S. Attorney General Todd Blanche accusing the Justice Department of withholding critical evidence. They don't want this solved, by the way. They don't want it solved. They're not going to solve this. They will not solve this. Raul Torres, New Mexico's top law enforcement officer, first requested original documents related to the convicted sex offender's zero ranch property in February. He said he reiterated the request five times in the following months. Through a range of channels, but Justice Department officials so far had not responded. The records contain names of survivors, witnesses, co-conspirators, and other individuals who may aid the long-delayed state investigation into the deceased financier's crimes in New Mexico. They're not going to do it. They're not opening this can of worms. They're not going to do it because it leads to something that's good. It's going to be more questions than answers. It's like they're going to go like, what was this guy? And then how many of those guys are there? That's the other quote. Like, how many Epsteins are there? Because now, like, every article written about him is like he was a special guy. He's a special guy. Charismatic, intelligent. He had powerful friends. He was a special guy. But how many of those guys are out there where their lives make no sense in the world that we live in? We understand. Jeffrey Epstein's life makes no sense It would be like describing an alien to somebody Who like didn't need oxygen And could survive You know without any type of sunlight or whatever You're talking about a guy Who there's not one thing About his life that makes any sense At all And you're left with this idea That there's gaping parts of the world That you just don't know anything about You go I don't even know anything About how this even works Even as a conspiracy theorist You go I don't know anything about it Because it's strange even in that sense Because you go What is this guy So I guess it's possible He's just a super motivated pedophile That's possible Like he's like A super motivated pedophile He's just like one of these guys Who's like really trying To You know Make them up But you know That also asks questions Where you go How does he get the things he has And how does he have the connections he has And nobody wants to open that up And instead of that We'll just invade Iran We'll just put boots on the ground With Iran Because who gives a fuck Who cares About this stuff For a limited time You can get a Big Mac meal For just $8 That's a burger Fries And a drink They don't call it an extra value meal For nothing Get a Big Mac meal Only at McDonald's Price and participation may vary Promotion pricing may be lower than meal pricing Trump leans toward expanding U.S. military operations in Iran This is from the Times While preferring diplomacy Trump was briefed this week on options Including The use of ground troops And bombing Pickaxe Mountain He's gonna do it He's gonna do it He's gonna nuke him He's gonna probably nuke him I mean They know they've got the one president in there That might use a nuclear weapon No one else would They know they've got the guy That may just say fuck it He might just get up one day And say fuck it Trump hosted a Situation Room meeting Tuesday evening To discuss the potential seizure of Karg Island And other territory Along the Strait of Hormuz Using U.S. troops As well as a potential bombing Of a tunnel complex Complex at Pickaxe Mountain A nuclear-linked site The U.S. has yet to target Expanding airstrikes against more targets in Iran Including energy sites Also remains a possibility The discussion was one of multiple Formal and informal conversations Trump has had in recent days With senior officials Including J.D. Vance Pete Hegsath Marco Rubio Dan Cain The chairman of the Joint Chiefs Etc. They know They know They've got a guy in there Who depending on his mood Could very well Use a nuclear weapon And there are people Probably behind the scenes Pushing for that Going listen You're either gonna go down in history As losing this war Or you're gonna use a nuke And I know it's gonna be tough And it's gonna suck And the rest of the world Is gonna get mad at you I think China and Russia Have probably said That they won't stand by And let us use a nuke But they probably will Because then If we use a nuke on Iran China forever and ever By the way China then becomes The moral leader of the world Even though they might be Already By the way China may already be The moral leader Of the world right now I want everyone to think about that Roll that around in your fucking head And if we use a nuclear weapon China will emerge As the clear Humanitarian alternative The West will lose All credibility Almost overnight And China will emerge As the As the Superpower That is humanitarian Because they're not going around Even though they've got that A camp of Uyghur Muslims That they put them in a concentration camp Which I don't care about And no one does by the way No one cares about that concentration They keep trying to Get that out The Republicans keep going What about the Uyghur Muslims No one cares about that Enough No one gives a shit Maybe they should But they don't China will emerge from this Because they're not invading countries Everybody lives over there In a digital surveillance state Which is whatever People just don't care Now you know they should But they don't And they're not going to care in America either They don't care They're not going to care They're not going to care This is not a country of people Who are like demanding freedom They don't care They really don't care So let's just put the kibosh on that immediately That there's going to be like A few people can destroy some flock cameras And by the way more power to you good for you So let's just put the kibosh on that immediately I don't want any of this shit But the idea that like the vast majority of people In this country care about a surveillance They don't care So you try to hang that on China Like they have a digital credit score No one here can afford any health care No one here can afford anything So like you're asking all these people in America To talk about how horrible China is While their lives suck Now China might be much worse than America Like I would never want to live there But what a hard sell that is China might be much worse than America You're trying to sell people on the idea That like the ultimate evil is China No one By the way You're failing at that No one believes that It's like the And I hate using these dumb examples But it's true It's the chick in the office Who keeps talking about Someone And to a point where you all go You start siding with the person they're trashing Because you go How bad could they be If they're not You're the one who keeps coming in here every day Telling us how bad they are Maybe you're bad And that's what's happening So if we nuke Iran Or if we even invade If we put boots on the ground in Iran Here's how this plays out China emerges the single Superpower in the world With the respect And the United States of America Collapses Collapses By the way And quickly Our dollar will not be the reserve currency For much longer This country will collapse pretty quickly And this war doesn't Boots on the ground doesn't It will do it Because China emerges Everyone goes Let's make deals with China The West is done The West is done London's done America's done They go We're looking at China We're looking at Shanghai We're looking at Beijing We're looking at fucking Dubai Or whatever We're looking at the UAE America clearly Couldn't even defend The Gulf states The bases they had in the Gulf states America can't even beat Iran So We've all been told like Whoa We're the We're the fucking Toughest guy on the block That's not true We've just kind of been exposed Doesn't mean we don't have Nukes And we don't have missiles We don't have You know A great military And the fact that the people that join it You know Should obviously be Respected And you should hope they win But let's look at like the facts The facts on the ground right now Are that war no longer works China realized this years ago China goes war doesn't work China If China thought war worked It would have invaded Iran Years ago I'm sorry Not Iran Taiwan If China thought war worked China would have invaded Taiwan China's smart enough to go War doesn't work China's smart enough to go Look at Russia and the Ukraine War worked in the time When you could go and carpet bomb city Here's who war works for I'm telling you right now Israel And here's why it works for them They're willing to just go in and kill everybody You have to be willing to go in and kill Everybody For war to work Otherwise It doesn't work Surgical strikes Winning the information war No None of that works None of it works You have to be willing To go in And basically kill everybody And if you're unwilling to do that It's just a matter of time Before you have to It's either going to be a stalemate A frozen conflict You're going to You're going to just Your citizens are going to decide It's not worth it War doesn't work It doesn't work And China gets it China goes We're just going to spread money around We're going to do the Belt and Road Initiative We're going to build schools And yes We're going to put everyone in our surveillance grid And our social credit score And we're taking everybody's freedom And I'm not for any of that And China's going to go We're not a We will kidnap you if you have too much money And we're not going to tolerate And we're We are a centralized control system Where people are going to feel like they are free But make no mistake They are not But the way China is doing it The way we export that control system To the rest of the world Is not at the barrel of a gun They watched our message adventures in the Middle East. They watched us lose credibility. They watched how embarrassing it was. And China goes, no, we're just going to spread a lot of money around. We're going to engage in a lot of corporate espionage. We're going to steal a lot of good ideas. We're going to know what everybody else is doing. And our technological supremacy is going to enslave the world before the United States. The United States is going to go bankrupt themselves with wars and Russia can bankrupt itself with wars. Because they're still living in the last century when you could do this, when you could invade Ukraine and it would work. It doesn't work. It doesn't work. The fact that they just had to kill Lindsey Graham to feel good about themselves. Russia just had to kill Lindsey Graham to just feel good about themselves. They should have been able to win this thing already. America should have been able to win this. Here's Lindsey Graham, by the way, suggesting Israel should nuke Gaza. This is Lindsey Graham. This is a great eulogy for him, friend of the show, Lindsey Graham. So when we were faced with destruction as a nation after Pearl Harbor, fighting the Germans and the Japanese, we decided to end the war by bombing Hiroshima and Nagasaki with nuclear weapons. That was the right decision. Give Israel the bombs they need to end the war they can't afford to lose and work with them to minimize casualties. Can I say this? Why is it okay for America to drop two nuclear bombs on Hiroshima and Nagasaki to end their existential threat war? Why was it okay for us to do that? I thought it was okay. To Israel, do whatever you have to do. He must have had so much fun in Israel. He was probably checked into a hotel in Israel and then immediately balls were just bouncing off his chin for 48 hours. He must have had so much fun in Israel and then immediately balls were just bouncing off his chin for 48 hours. He they're no longer effective. You're not going to be able to whack the leader of a country and see everybody fall in line, you're not going to be able to show up with a bunch of aircraft carriers and fighter jets and take over a country of 90 million people and get them to think the way you think. China knows that's not effective. They know that. And the second reason China is emerging as the leader of the world is because the things that they are putting their energy into are the new ways to dominate the world, which is a massive digital grid that everybody will exist on. That's 1000% where it's all going. I don't like where it's going. I've been very honest about not liking where it's going. But they know that's where it's going. And we know that's where it's going. That's why we're trying to like do it here and they're doing it there. Whatever. But they're just watching us take L's. We're just stacking L's. And the only way to get out of this is to Trump start firing nukes. I hope he doesn't do it. But he's a lunatic. So and when Trump nukes Iran, Jadie Vance will go right on rogue and go. I mean, Joe, isn't it? Isn't it crazy? Isn't it crazy that Trump, you know, the president was very clear in the beginning of this that he didn't want Iran to have a nuclear weapon. And, you know, we got to a point when we had to deliver quite a devastating blow to Iran. And it's unfortunate, you know, lots of people died. You know, I'm a Christian, Joe. I hate that. I hate to see anyone die. You know, of course, and I was in the situation room when we fired the nuclear weapons at them. But, you know, I said a little prayer. I'm a Christian, Joe. Of course, I wouldn't want anyone hurt. Of course, we did kill tens of thousands of people simultaneously. And then sometimes I just think to myself, Joe, you know, you ever just think to yourself, you ever just think to yourself, isn't it crazy where life takes you? You know, if you had told me I'd be sitting in the situation room, we fired nuclear weapons on Iran, I would I would have told you you were nuts. I would have told you you were crazy. And I went down, I sat with Usha. We had a nice dinner. And I and I said to her, I said, I said, isn't this wild? Just look around at our life. And, you know, she silently ate eggplant. She doesn't, you know, eat meat, of course. You know, she's she's in that demon religion. All these demons, they don't eat meat. But I I said to her, I said, what a what a crazy day at work is. It's just for me, it's another day at work. It's another day at work. You know, some people some people go and teach the kids at the school. Some people go and, you know, trade the stocks. But, you know, I went to the school. Some people just killed a lot of people. Joe, we killed a lot of people today. And I don't like that. Something I don't like. But, you know, as the vice president, my job is to just kind of sit there while we nuke a country and just kind of provide my opinion. And and then we just try to minimize the damage. You know, I say a prayer. I try to provide this president with all the support he needs. But that's where we're going. That's where we're going for. J.D. Vance will be a nuke tour. He'll be on a nuke tour. No, no, no, no, no. Trust me. J.D. Vance will be on a PR tour after we nuke Iran. And he'll be sitting there on all the podcasts. You know what I mean? He'll be on Call Her Daddy. He'll go. He'll do everything. And he'll be there trying to justify the use of nuclear weapons, because unfortunately, that's the only way to go. Quick before we get out of here, bacteria shuts down beaches coast to coast in the U.S. You can't go to the beach anymore because there's shit in the water. Let's listen to this. Tonight, from California to Cape Cod, beachgoers escaping scorching summer temps are running into a wave of issues. Dozens of beaches in Massachusetts temporarily shut down. Officials posting water quality warnings at beaches in New York, New Jersey, Washington State and here in Southern California, where the famed Santa Monica Pier comes flanked with signs at your own risk. Is it harmful? Is it not? I mean, right. We hear bacteria. You automatically think it's harmful. Yeah, it's heightened levels of bacteria discovered a sign. Water may be contaminated with germs or fecal matter. Here's what it is. This is what all the tech people wrote. We're at the end of this. We're at the end of the of this being a livable planet. And they know that and that's where they're trying to get out of here. You know, like, you know, it's 110 degrees and you're just trying to cool off and you can't swim in the ocean because it's a toilet. And there's shit everywhere. So the tech people know that. I mean, let's say this creeps. Sure. Freaks. Absolutely. But they know they know that this is like whatever this has been is ending. We're watching this and we're going towards a new thing. We don't know what that new thing's going to be. We talked about a little bit what it's going to look like, but they know this. You can't even swim in the ocean anymore because it's just bacteria and shit and all these factories and stuff and company. They just dump shit in the oceans and they dump bacteria and they don't care. And, you know, eventually you just spoil the planet and you go, we got to go somewhere else. We got to get out of here. And then, but, but before we can get out of here, we got to build the digital grid so that people can just chill in that while we figure out how to get out. Because they're going to say to people like, listen, don't go swimming in shit water. Go on this app and you feel like you're there. Like they got to build. The reason the digital grid is so important is that it will pacify the people just long enough for them to get off the planet. Trust me, that is what they want. Their goal is to get the fuck off this planet. And the way to do that is to keep everybody chill while they figure out how to do it. So they got to introduce this digital thing where they go, guys, it's a digital amusement park. You live in that. That's where you're going. That's where you're traveling. How about that? So that's what they got to do before they can just get out of here. Because by the way, and I don't think they will get out of here. I think the ultimate folly of what they believe is they're going to go to a place where they can just get out of here. And I don't think they will get out of here. I think they're going to go down with the ship just like everybody else. But in their minds, everybody's in their mind, they got to think this is all leading to something. So they're sitting around going, listen, nobody's fixing any of these cities. They're not getting fixed. It's, you know, crimes down in some of them, which is great. But like, I mean, like infrastructure, you know, it's, they're not going to be vibrant cities anymore. We're just going to let them go. You know, the water's got high levels of bacteria. Drinking water in a lot of areas is unsafe. That's not going to get better. RFK and Cheryl. I mean, did you see this? He's like fighting a yak. This was the guy who was going to try to help the food. The food's as bad as it's ever been. That was all fake, by the way. He was going to look into all of the vaccines and the food. He didn't do any of that. It's fake. So he's like on some summer vacation with Cheryl and some yak. He seems like on his Instagram. So I'm like, he's like, we did a 10 mile hike up the mountain and I saw a yak. And then I pushed the yak with my phone and it ran away. And you're like, Hey man, weren't you supposed to like, I don't know, like ban the big gulp or something. They've done nothing, but all they could do is just move us to European standards on the food. They've done none of that because the corporations, um, Trump's a junk food addict. He it's the junk food presidency and all the people that own the big, uh, food conglomerates. They're like, well, no, you're not banning shit. They banned red dye. So none of it's getting fixed. And the tech people are basically like, we just have to get out of here because yeah, here we are. This is the health and human services secretary. This is the guy who's going to fix the food. Sure. Did we get inside this thing? Maybe you should get inside the cage. Yeah, it's dangerous. Come on, honey. Get up on the other side of that stone. Get on the other side of this stone wall. He's fighting a yak. All right, get him out of here. So that's now what our country has become our country. Now he's doing content. The secretary of health and human services is now doing content on social media with wild animals. He's now become some weird version of the crocodile hunter. He's now like he's the Steve Irwin that we, we, we, we deserve. It's like it's so, so that's what it is. So the tech people, again, they know this thing's cooked and they're just looking for a way out. But before they can get that, everybody's got to like voluntarily go into this matrix control grid thing everybody's just going to have to be well-behaved because you know, there's going to be a lot of reasons to not behave. That's that's coming there's gonna be a lot of reasons to not behave like having no money having no job having not a lot of food an energy crisis like there's a lot of reasons for people to take to the streets so what they got to do is like get people to doing something they got to get people doing something so that they're not out in the streets so that the tech people can just basically plan their escape because that's what they're trying to do they believe that they believe they're trying to get off the planet merge with technology once they once they merge with ai it won't be that long they go once we have quantum computing once ai is is you know as smart as anything that's ever been times a million then they'll be able to just get the fuck out of here they go because we'll but we're going to merge with this ai so otherwise this ai would just get rid of us and then leave we're going to merge with it so that we and this is musk all these guys want this we're going to merge with this intelligence so that we then have it and we can get the fuck out of dodge and then leave the people here on this rotted bacteria you know planet of shit oceans and smog and wildfire smoke and hell and lettuce and taco bell causing diarrhea and everything they they know that this is what it is like this is most of the stories this summer have been about shit they've been about shit there's shit in the ocean people can't stop shitting because of the food they're eating most of the stories this summer have been about fecal matter most of them and they know they they know that the planet is turning to literal shit literal shit not a metaphor and the tech people know that so they just go listen they're all going to eat these burritos and shit themselves and then there's going to be shit in the water and they're going to go swimming and shit and we just got to give these people fucking some fucking meta glasses or whatever and just let them sit on their couch and they can shit themselves and they can watch the world cup through their meta glasses because we're getting the fuck out of here that is what they're doing we're getting the fuck out of dodge so put your meta glasses on sit on the couch and shit yourself and watch the world cup because we are getting the fuck out of here that's what they're doing that's 100 what they're doing you know i mean it's the summer of diarrhea this is the summer of uncontrollable shit this is the summer of people not being able to control their ass that's what it is this is not the sexy summer this is a shit summer brought to you by taco bell and then whoever is dumping all of that shit in the ocean that people are trying to swim in it's almost like invading iran it's almost like it's the only story that wouldn't involve literal human shit so that's the kind of summer we're having in america and the and the people know the people know what it is they know what it is they know what's going on here we're announcing a few new dates in the fall timdilloncomedy.com enjoy folks enjoy your week swim in the shit just go swim in the shit because your family won't know the difference and maybe one of them dies but you can't afford them anyway swim in the shit water and if one of your children dies it'll be a tragedy but you'll you'll back to school shopping will be a lot easier anyway that's our statement that's our uh that's our hopeful take for you and see you next week See you next week.