#50: Strengthening Your Mental Game

the pain of recording podcasts when you have raging ADHD tendencies, we're not going to claim it. You know me, we're not claiming that identity. Welcome back to the greatest project podcast. My name is Kelly pool, and I'm your host. Welcome to episode 50. And there is pride, I guess, in, in me right now, as I tell you that, because I'm, this is something that I told myself I was going to do for so long. And if you've listened to the beginning podcast, you know that I was very inconsistent, but we are not playing that game anymore. And I want you to listen to what I am saying of like I had to make a decision that I was not playing that game anymore. If I wanted to take this seriously and build a life where this thing that mattered to me was a part of it. And I kept saying that I wanted to podcast and I wanted to improve my speaking. And it's just such a I freaking love getting messages from you guys talking about the podcast. So I just want to say that I read every single one. I'm obsessed with every single one. It means so much to me because I feel like you actually get to know me and get to see life outside of 60 seconds of content creation, which is a whole different personal branding thing, which we could talk about one day. But that's not what we're talking about today. We're talking about mindset. And that is something that is so important to what I'm saying of just like the consistency it has taken me. And challenging my own belief system, challenging who I know myself to be challenging, letting myself off the hook to be consistent in podcasting. I know Chris Williamson of Modern Wisdom talks all the time about how if you make it to episode like 10 of podcasting, you're already in the top 1%, which is like the first mile, like once you get past the first mile of anything, it is vastly not crowded. Whatever the opposite of not crowded is bear, bear in. There's not many people who are willing to stick to something without that instant gratification and without that instant reward. And I hope you learn through my inconsistency in the beginning of my podcasting journey that it is okay to not be perfect right off the bat. It is okay to have those perfectionist tendencies. And I've beaten myself up about it so many times. But at the end of the day, I was like, no, no, no, like I would rather just keep going. I do not care how many times I stop. I don't care how many times I slow down. As long as I continue building and working towards this thing, and every single podcast that I would record was a rep. Every single thing that you do is a rep. It doesn't matter how many times you pause or stop or vacation or life gets in the way or whatever it is. All I care about is do you keep going? Do you stand the test of time? Most people don't. And that is why they feel in their fitness journey or starting a business or social media or coaching or relationships or whatever it is because they think when they face that first initial roadblock or that, like you are inevitably going to fall off the wagon. And me and my friend Grace Brown were talking about this in relation to like working through things with clients, getting them to understand you're going to binge. You're going to not go to the gym. You're going to have mental fucking breakdowns. That is a part of the process. That is a part of the cycle. And you think that that piece means that you've failed and that it's over and it's the end. That is a fixed mindset. That is what we need to start to work through. But when you understand and when you have bailed so many times and you've messed up so many times, you eventually strengthen your ability to continue going. And so I hope you take that lesson from me doing this and implement it into whatever area of your life you need it. But today we are talking about mindset. I want to start off by talking about why I fucking love mindset so much. If you listen to like my journey with mental health, I went into it a little bit there. But honestly, as long as I can remember, my dad has watched those like 30 for 30 on ESPN and I'm obsessed with athlete mentality. If you guys know Drake Davis, I'm obsessed with him. Sip Drake, shout out, I love what he does. And I think it is so fucking incredible. I think he is so intelligent, so articulate, so well spoken. And it's just this continual desire to become better. And I just remember watching these 30 for 30s with my dad and becoming obsessed with like athlete mentality. I've watched every single Michael Jordan Kobe Bryant documentary when I was in bodybuilding prep. I would get on the elliptical for 90 minutes at fucking four o'clock in the morning. And in my ears is just blasting mamba mentality because I understood mindset was really the only differentiator. And I swear, especially in the bodybuilding world, if you've ever done a prep, it's not a physical challenge at all. If you are somebody who is in shape and you can do the cardio, you can train whatever. Can you take a set to failure? Who were you when you're starving? Who were you when you have to wake up at 4 a.m. in meal prep? Who were you when all of your friends are going out? It's literally just about decision making and what you're able to do. Can you push yourself when you in your mind have nothing left to give? And I just truly believe that mindset is so important because it is really the differentiator between running and slowing down. It is the differentiator between like I feel tired. The voice in my head is the weak part. It is not my body. My body can go so much further that my mind is initially telling me and I do not believe people spend enough time strengthening their mind. They do it as a byproduct. Like, oh, I'm in fitness. I'm doing these things. So like, yeah, I do some mindset work. It's like, no, no, no, you're doing the physical work. Do you spend the same amount of time that you spend in the gym on your mind? No. So why do you think that you should have a good mindset? Do you spend as much time learning about taking care of your mind and developing mental frameworks and practicing your own discernment and practicing question asking? Do you spend time doing these things? No, you don't. Okay. So you shouldn't have a good mindset. The entitlement that we see in fitness when it comes to quote unquote, like earning a body is going to be the same thing when it comes to your mindset. And so I want to talk about first of all, the beginning of developing a solid mindset. I struggled for so long because I wanted it to happen instantly. I've talked about it a little bit before, but I was somebody who is so controlled by my emotions. I've always been a deeply emotional person. So for me, developing an unbreakable mindset was a non-negotiable because I genuinely was consumed by my depression. I was consumed by my anxiety. And I didn't realize how my thoughts, which are directly in my control were just adding to the suffering. I was pain is a part of life, suffering is optional. I did not realize that I was creating my own suffering because I thought I was my thoughts. One of the most basic pieces of learning mindset is that you were in control of your thoughts. And I think I said this on the podcast the other day, but one of the backgrounds of my screen is sometimes you have to choose the neural pathway less traveled in your brain. So from like a neural, a neural science perspective, you're having these thought patterns and you're just strengthening that stream, you're strengthening that connection every single time you think it. So if you've spent the last 25 years talking shit to yourself, thinking things not possible for you, believing every thought you think it is going to be an uphill battle to rewire those connections and rewire those thoughts. And so the first gift I give you when it comes to mindset is you are not your first thought you are your second, your first is your pattern, it is your programming, it is who you've known yourself to be up until this point keyword and listen to my language in a lot of this. It is who you've been up until this point. Then your second thought gets to be your choice. So do you judge your first thought or do you say, hmm, that's not helpful. That sounded like a fixed mindset. What would it sound like if I was open to possibility and open to opportunity? If I was somebody who saw the world from a lens of abundance and growth and love and connection and that anything was possible for me, what would my next thought be? That is where your power begins. Mindset work is one of those things that you do not get to see the you don't get to see the pay off the way that okay, go into the gym for 12 weeks. If you've never done it before, you start tracking macros or you started doing cardio, whatever it is, you will see the physical progress mindset work. You are the only one who knows and hears it and experiences it. So if you are somebody who has never gotten into the practice and into the habit of celebrating yourself, celebrating these thought shifts, celebrating these new awareness that you're having, you're never going to continue and develop an unbreakable mindset because of that. It is so vital to you because you're the only one who hears it. So right now you need to get in the habit of every single time you reframe something or you handle a situation in a solid way or you think about it in a new perspective or you stay open and emotionally regulated, celebrate the shit out of that. You have heard me talk about Russ's quote where he says, or basically this concept of like what we celebrate gets repeated or whatever you, whatever thought processes you won't repeat it, whenever you notice yourself seeing those things, you must celebrate it. And we talked about this in the last episode, but eventually the world will mirror back to what you are, but you must be it first. I will equally say it is easier to act your way into a new way of thinking than is to think your way into a new way of acting. So when you start showing up, your mind will also start mimicking and mirroring the actions that you are taking. But again, there is so much mindset work and so much a part of this that is in your control and we need to stress that for you. And so that I say all this to say like that is where mindset work becomes frustrating for a lot of people or they get really discouraged or down on it because it feels like you're not doing anything. It feels like you're not making any progress. And trust me, we talk about mental masturbation in the sense of how many podcasts do you listen to, but your actions never change. How many books do you read, but your actions never change? And understand that your mindset is only valuable if it changes the actions in your day-to-day life. If it makes your life easier, if it makes your relationship with your body easier, if it makes your relationship with people around you better, if it pushes you to believe in yourself enough to take action. So yes, again, we're focusing on mindset in this episode, so I'm going to try to stay in that. But never lose sight of the fact that mindset is only valuable if it's changing your actions. How many times, or what are you looking for me to say to motivate you to get you to feel a certain way to finally do the thing? How many times have you journaled or sat in meditation or whatever it is, and then you didn't get that instant reward and that instant gratification, so you stopped doing it? You go to the gym every day, but you're not taking care of your mind in the same capacity. Meditation and journaling and growing your awareness and having intellectually stimulating conversations, putting yourself in triggering situations, putting yourself in a room full of people who are where you want to be will tell me everything about you. Are you insecure or do you have conversations with these people? Like genuinely you must surround yourself with people who have the mindset that you want to have. That is the game changer. And if the closest thing you can get to that is podcast and fucking by our means, I am somebody. There is a point and I want to bring up a conversation I was having with one of my clients. I actually banned her from listening to podcasts, reading books, doing anything because she was carrying it as if she should. Oh, I should feel this certain way. I should be doing this certain thing. I should whatever it is. And it's like, no, no, no, unless you are drawing inspiration and you are becoming your cup is being filled from podcasts, stop listening to them. Stop reading the books. If it is making you feel like shit, we have deeper work to be doing within yourself. We have deeper work to be doing within your mindset. And that is something that like you need a coach, you need somebody to help and support and challenge you on that. You do not need to be consuming to make yourself feel more insecure or worse or like you should be doing things. I want you to listen to me and become inspired to take action to do the boring mundane work to put yourself in the arena. Like that is what I hope you get from me. So what is mindset? Mindset is a set of beliefs, attitudes and thought habits that shape how you perceive and respond to the world. I just want you to think of your mindset as like the mental habits, your mental frameworks of thinking. So we're going to use words like patterns and conditioning and all these things. Again, like you have probably heard your own elevator music, the things that you've repeated in your head, whatever it might be for you over and over and over again. And if you are anything like an old version of me, I was fucking tired of the way that I was thinking. But I also didn't know in the beginning, and I think of even like the first time I heard that somebody was making 10k a month, I was 21 and shocked. So that's fucking insane because that wasn't the normal. So in my mind, I was like, that's how is that possible? That's crazy. That's insane. All these things. Then eventually it becomes the new normal. And so wherever you are right now, where maybe all you know is a relationship with yourself, where you treat yourself like shit, all you know is imposter syndrome. All you know is like these certain feelings. And again, we're talking about the mindset side of things, but there is emotional and somatic work that goes with all of these things. There's behavioral work of you being able to take action. But today I want to focus on the mental frameworks, the habits of your mind, the thoughts. Thoughts are a piece of the puzzle. It is not the whole thing. Just one throw that out there. I also want to double down on I do not approach mindset as positive thinking. If you're a kind of mind, you know, there's no such thing as good or bad. This is where I deeply fall into stoicism as a deeply emotional feeling human being. I think it's so funny that I heavily align in a agree with stoicism. Nothing is inherently good or bad. It just is. And then we assign meaning to it. It is our interpretation of the thing. Most likely if you have a shitty mindset, you just have shitty interpretation. You have a shitty perspective. And somebody needs to call you out on it because you complain about things. I'm complaining about people complaining about things, which is ironic if you ask me. I do not approach mindset as positive thinking. It is not toxic positivity because the truth is it sucks. Life sucks. It is hard, but that it is. You can't change that. So you might as well change your relationship with the thing. I was driving home the other day. I hit a pothole so fucking big. I was like, I just bought my dinner and I knew it. Nothing because that's situation sucked. I cried about it. I was like, okay, well, I'll just do what I got to do. Figure it out. And that's it. I don't need to sit there and sulk about it. And it ruined my day and did it. It was literally just like, and even I had called one of my friends and they're like, if that's the worst thing that happens to you today, you're having a pretty fucking good day. And that is so true. How many times do you ask yourself that or do you view your life like that? Or do you just continue to double down? And again, I want to just dig this so deep. This isn't toxic positivity because when you dismiss the fact that you have a bad pain and you have suffering or you have trauma or you have been through some shit or something terrible happens when you are toxic positivity bypasses the humanness of all of that. You are not supposed to just positive thinking your way into something. No, like you can have a better perspective without bypassing the pain. And that is where most people fuck up is one. We want to grow your awareness of something. Step two is what most people miss. We have to accept it. It is what it fucking is. That's it. Can you love what is is the purpose of mindset? Can you look at something and say this sucks? And do I need to make it worse by ruminating? Do I need to make it worse by shaming myself? Do I need to make it worse by guilty myself or can I accept? This is what it is. Now what do I do? Do I like this? Am I going to leave this the same? Am I going to do this behavior again? Am I going to have this thought pattern again? That is where things are in your control. And so I know so much of mindset work is like, oh, right, that just toxic positivity and spiritual bypassing. And that's not what the fuck it is at all. I want you to view mindset as principles, frameworks, mental models, learning how to stay curious, learning discernment, learning to be open, learning that you were not always right, that there are better ways of doing things. I just made a video about this yesterday. I walked in to get my nails done. And I was like, Jell-X, please, because I've been getting Jell-X frostbite. She was like, no, I said, okay, because I know she does good work. I like this girl a lot. I trust her. And so I was like, okay, she has a better way of doing things just because up until this point I have done it a certain way. It doesn't mean that there isn't a better way to do it. And as human beings, we are very resistant to change. So even just knowing that, knowing that, okay, maybe I have this hesitation, but she did it and they fucking look good. So guess what? I'm going to let her do it again. Anyway. A great mindset truly is just great question asking. So it's not believing every single thought that you think or that your view of the world is the only view of the world. And again, like, fix versus growth is what we're talking about here. Do you think that your way of thinking is what it is in your stock? Because that's not the truth. Every single thing is changeable. I love the people who start their fitness journey when they're 60 or start a business when they're 60 or go after whatever they want in life and start living in change. And because it just proves to us constantly that we are not stuck where we think we are, just because you have been up until this point, steal my language. Oh, maybe if you say, oh, I'm lazy. No, I was lazy up until this point. I am no longer that way. Still my language. A growth mindset is understanding that everything is malleable, changeable. It can be whatever you want it to be. Can you see it from a different lens than where your two feet are sitting? And that is why having a coach or having a mentor is so vital and so important because you cannot solve a problem from the same frame of thinking that the problem was created. And how often do you try to do that? And as I'm sitting here, I can full body feel myself in a moment, maybe seven or eight years ago. And I was sitting on my balcony in Arizona and I just remember being so angry that my mindset wouldn't improve. And I was so frustrated. And I just wanted so badly to be a positive person. And it's like, yeah, let me beat myself up about the fact that my shitty thinking isn't getting better. And it's just so funny to me how emotionally charged I was in control by my emotions. I was not able to sit back and observe them. But if it wasn't for that version of me who had no idea what I was doing, who had no idea where to learn mindset, where to learn it from a better coach, mindset books weren't a thing. I didn't read my first self-help book till Lord knows when actually I do know exactly when I was 23 and breaking the habit of being yourself. I had had the book for five years. Fucking phenomenal. Start with books like, I'm just going to rip some books because y'all are going to fucking DM me and ask me anyway. I love you. And then we'll keep going. Breaking the habit of being yourself, phenomenal, Joseph Mensa, neuroscience, the laws of human nature by Robert Green. That was also one of the first mindset books that I've ever read. A new earth is going to be more spirituality, understanding your ego, understanding those thoughts. A return to love is like approaching life from eight lens in a view of love, outwitting the devil, so understanding. Those thoughts that are trying to like pull you back in that capacity 15 invaluable laws of growth by John Maxwell great fucking book Discipline is destiny great book the way of integrity pretty much anything by Ryan holiday to be honest Psycho cybernetics atomic habits a New earth man search for meaning principles very radalia was a great one as well anyway getting off track When it comes to strengthening your mindset I just want you to again. This is where like I really have the stoicism side of things of reality is inherently neutral again, you are you are the decider of meaning You decide what's a bad day or a good day. This is something that I see it's like I'm really sorry about the words that I'm gonna say Low level consciousness is this food is good this food is bad like the law of polarity if something is good then something must be bad And when you say bad you inherently if I'm like oh, you're bad or that food is bad You're having a visceral reaction to that you're having a cinematic response to that whether you know it or not And so one of the things that I want you and it will make your fitness journey easier I'll make life easier for you is start to remove The labeling of things to just view it for exactly what it is and ask yourself what meaning have I assigned to this you can actually go back and Work through Matic things that happened in your life because all trauma is is something that didn't pass through your nervous system and Then you assigned certain meaning to the situation So if you go back and you approach it from a new lens you ask yourself to see it differently you work through it you work and again this like big tea trauma please seek Professional help in talking about this, but when you eventually develop a Strong enough mind and trust within yourself to go back and let yourself see that like I think of the worst things that have ever happened to me Made me so incredibly strong and I'm not denying the fact that it was terrible when it happened and it was traumatic when it happened But I love and I have so much gratitude in my heart for everything that has ever happened to me I have more forgiveness for the men who have deteriorated Parts of me because it allowed me to take personal responsibility for all aspects of my life and become this version of me I would not be as mentally strong as I am if I was not Tore down to absolute ground and I've said it before and I'll say it again rock bottom is a trampoline It'll tell me everything I need to know about you how you respond When that happens and you're not supposed to respond perfectly and I know that I'm talking about your ten of me doing mindset work right now I've been realistically like been really full force in it in the last four-ish years even probably greater in the last two It is slow and painful and not every day is great not every week is great and you hear me on a podcast You hear me giving you advice you hear me storytelling in that capacity I'm a human being and I have shitty fucking days too and sometimes I just need my humanist to be able to fucking human and let it be a thing It's not always going to be the easiest thing in the world So one of the things I wrote is like life is neutral your interpretation of life is what matters So like my questions for you are how do you view failure? When you fail are you excited when you get rejected? How do you process through it when you fucking hit a pothole so goddamn big and your afternoon is so busy and now you have to cancel everything What is that conversation? I don't need to carry that with me for the rest of the day or put that on anybody else I within 10 minutes after doing it after I had I shed my little tear and moved on I was laughing about it because it's like of course Of course it's happens. It's just silly Whenever you think life is supposed to go certain way you're supposed to be following a certain schedule life is gonna fucking up or cut you Something I want to give a real life example for this and mine is divorce. I Love my parents my parents had a 30 30-ish year marriage and they got divorced a couple years ago and This was like when I had really started going through my mindset work and understanding like humans and just the way that we work and all these things and I remember having a conversation with about it and just thinking like divorce doesn't mean a marriage failed And I don't like how as a society we just like a step we try to label things or try to Water down to be any one certain thing, but it's me you have 30 years you read me and my sister are like good people They raised great fucking kids like I look up to both my cry. I look up to both my parents so much and I learned so much from both of them and who they are It's just incredible and now equally they're both so happy they both have fucking partners and are Traveling so much and are doing things and I don't see it as a failure at all I see it as it worked for a really long time and just because it worked for a really long time Doesn't mean it's going to keep working into the future and yeah, we have attachment and we wish it We wish it dead when you're committed to something you're fully committed and you you want it to work for your whole life But it does not mean that it's a failure if it didn't to me It was the greatest success and I think there's no greater success than saying like wow This worked for a really long time and it's time to move on. I think being able to walk away from something While it is still good is so vital and is so important and I learned so many lessons in Watching two people become more relentlessly themselves in that process and I'm I'm grateful for it as hard as it is like of course I wish they were together But it's at I want what's best for them and I will always see it and view it in that lens Your behavior Reveals your beliefs and I feel like that's what people don't understand about mindset work. They are so often Quick to blame and play the victim. I am this way because of this when I I Audit a lot of calls and I love just getting to be a fly on the wall and I anytime someone says well because I'm like here we go Here is whatever story that you have told yourself here's whatever excuse you have piled on so deep that you don't question anymore It's just your reality and the thing about your behaviors is they don't fucking lie The same way your body doesn't lie your behaviors don't lie show me your schedule and I will tell you your priorities That's it if you say something means something to you But your actions say otherwise you are lying and it doesn't mean much to you So if you want to know what you believe to be true if you want to know what is actually important to you If you want to know what is going on in your mind that you haven't grown your conscious awareness around yet look at your behaviors What are you prioritizing? What story are you actively living out and again? We are human beings. I am not perfect either. I will say things and I this is the conversation I was having with myself about Podcasting like all right Kelly how many times are you gonna say that you want to be a speaker But you're not consistent in your podcasting how many times are you gonna say that you want this thing? But you're not fucking acting like it and again I'm not that wasn't shame-based. It's me calling myself to a higher standard It is me saying if I want to lead and practice articulation and be a thought leader in that capacity and push women to go out there and do these things I have to do it first and I'm okay with that and I love that like it's so exciting Anyways shifting conversation. Let's talk about some ways to improve your mindset Consume ideas bigger than your own This is where I love podcasts. I love books. I spark so much inspiration from it again My question for you does it trap you in a comparison loop or does it inspire you to do things? I was just reading Matthew McConaughey's green lights and that man traveled the freaking world and I love it And then I was like wait, I got a book a trip I have to do something or when I see somebody like climbing in the Dolomites I'm like okay, I need to book my trip to the Dolomites It's not all they're living the dream and I can't do it. It's no that's such a cool thing I would love to have that experience. I want to experience more. How do I make it happen? Is your mindset? And so again, and like leadership things I love reading memoirs so like shoe dog or principles or 15 invaluable laws of growth or the way that Ryan holiday writes all of his books He story tells from people like Marcus Aurelius and Socrates and all these things Can you learn from other people's life experiences? And then I don't just want you to read I want you to reflect on your reading So consume and then question consume and then create your own ideas I have so many of my content ideas from conversations that I'm having from books that I'm reading from podcasts that I'm listening to I love Feeling my cup in that capacity, but then taking it down my own thought processes Use your own discernment how often do you intake something and then you take that on to be truth? That is something I did very very early on is If I heard somebody I looked up to say something in a certain way that was Bible You need to practice your discernment and it's a skill you will learn with time Something kind of side note tangent to this It is okay if you change your mind I Used to be so scared to stay Say something on the internet and then change my mind later on it is a part of growth You are a human being your beliefs are supposed to change what you know to be true is supposed to change Especially as you stack more evidence in your life You are safe to change your mind It is okay if you change your mind and if you think that people are judging you for you saying something to be true And then changing your mind later on it is because you are judging not in other people you are not letting them change and expand Start Stay curious and even more so about your automatic thoughts. So again, like I've talked about elevator music before, but what you can do and something that I have my wellness from within girls do is do a thought audit. So set a timer for every 30 minutes for 48 hours and we'll write down what you're thinking. How many thoughts are you unaware of that are just going on in the background? That's what I'm saying. Stack mental models. So misalignment creates suffering. When I feel like I'm suffering through something, it is because something is not making sense. It is not being what I need it to be. I'm just going to run through. I'm going to rapid fire these and you can sit with them and you can ask yourself questions about them. That's what I want you to do is take your yes. I need you to understand opportunity costs. Like everything comes out of sacrifice. What are you willing to give up in pursuit of this thing that you want most? If you want to develop a more strengthened mindset, you're going to have to give up some time for it. You're going to probably have to stop spending time with people with fixed mindsets and people who are judgmental and telling you what to do. So like, yeah, there will be the sacrifice of grief of those people of your own growth. Do you understand confirmation bias? So what I already believe to be true, I then seek and stack evidence of it in the world. And so sometimes we unconsciously do this or subconsciously are doing this. So how often are you stacking evidence for a certain belief that you have when you start to understand mental models and human behaviors and the way that we think and cognitive distortions and cognitive biases. You can understand your own mind and I want all of this to be just studying you again. I'm freaking double down on this until I punch myself in the face. Survivorship bias. So taking lessons without accounting for who didn't make it through. I was watching a video on this yesterday. And in World War II, they would bring back the planes that survived and they studied like the areas of the planes that got hit. And they were going to reinforce these areas of the plane that got hit. And someone was like, wait, no, no, no, we should be studying the planes that didn't make it back because they got hit somewhere where they weren't able to recover. And so they almost reinforced the areas of the plane that were already strong enough because the plane had made it back. They were missing these the engine or like the freaking cockpit or whatever it is. These parts were once they got hit. It was destroyed. So where are you gaining your evidence from? Like are you looking at only your successes or do you equally study your failures? Something that's an active practice that you can do is go through and write down five accomplishments you've had in the last year and then write the character trait or skill that allowed you to have that accomplishment. So one of mine was like running half marathon. Okay, discipline is what allowed me to get to do that. Being able to build my team. Okay, leadership is something that allowed me to do that. So once you have five, then I want you to go through and do this with five things that have happened in your life that were really fucking hard. Okay, so it's five things that I've overcome in my life. One of them was like public speaking for me. It was doing the damn thing and lots of practice. Moving across the country took courage, worked through depression and that was in our work in spirituality. And so the whole idea is once you have five things that you've overcome in your life and five things that you've accomplished in the last year. Success leaves clues. So these are your ingredients to success. Study your failures and your hardships and equally study your successes. So for me, and yours are going to look different. Don't take mine. Go study yourself, action, discipline, courage, trust in God, slash spirituality, love and inner work are my ingredients to success. As long as I continue doing these things and pouring time into these things, then I will continue to be successful. It has gotten me through what I've accomplished and it has gotten me through the things that I have overcome. My proudest moments and the moments that I really struggled through. Do you study your success? Do you study these parts of you? Understanding that you want to be creating friction in your life. It is a successful thing. Again, I talked about it last podcast episode. Put your phone across the room when there is a degree of friction between you and something, especially a habit you want to quit, you will eventually stop doing it. Another mental model like creating identity-based decisions. What would someone like me do? What would someone who's a million dollars CEO do? What is someone who's in a healthy relationship? What is someone who has insane self-respect? Do what is someone who is a public speaker? Do how would they show up? I want you to stack mental models for your life that create success, that make things easier for you, and actively challenge your world view. I want you to seek things that actively go against your beliefs. How much of your feed is things that you agree with? If you are conditioning yourself to only see the world from one certain lens in one perspective, one culture, one race, one gender, all of these things you will not understand the world. Seek to understand the world, seek to have different perspectives, seek to be able to challenge. So this is your reminder that mindset is only valuable if it changes actions. It is something that is slow, but it is possible. I am such. I'm the fucking embodiment of that. I'm the evidence of that, and I will continue to do it, and it's so freaking cool. When people call out to me my level of articulation, or they see leadership, or they tell me that I sparked an idea in their mind, or that they're going to go do something like being able to see and be reinforced that the internal work that I have spent years freaking doing. And again, I haven't. I never. Not that you need validation, but it's nice when the world does it back to you. I'm a human being, like all people are. It is great to be rewarded for things. It took years. Freaking years before this mindset started being rewarded. And so. and before I could have enough confidence and belief in myself, that it was worth putting something out there, and I'm just so proud of every version of me that came before that, and that's what I want you to see. Is the world might not reflect it back to you for a period of time, but one day it will. And when it does, it will all be worth it. Keep freaking going. Random side-tension about this, before I let you guys go. I think about this from the perspective of I see people who want to be mentors. Wait until you are asked. Wait until people do you mentor? Do you do this thing? Do you coach? You should be giving out so much value. You should be such the walking embodiment. You should be somebody who challenges and asks the mindset and does all these things. And is this version that people look up to and draw inspiration from and get good questions from? I want to give out so much that you guys hear me and you get to change your life regardless of if you've ever worked with me or not. That is the goal. So if you are a coach and you're somebody who's posting on social media, always live from that framework of like give so much out there and like make people come into your deans and ask how the fuck do I work with you? How do I do these things that you are doing? Like that is what mindset is. And again, it was years of doing work in silence behind closed doors that got me to this point and by no means am I again, I'll say 10 more times. I'm not perfect. My mindset still fucking sucks some days. I still get caught in spirals and loops and crash outs. And I'm a human being as are you. So thank you for making it to episode 50 with me. I'm so excited just to continue this with you guys. I love you all. If there's ever anything you want to talk about or hear about, please come message me. I want to have conversations. I like being involved with you guys. It makes it feel just a lot more connected and a lot more like a community. So I love you. I'll talk to you soon. And I hope you have a beautiful day.