492 - Eric Swalwell, The Great Layoff, & We Endorse Katie Porter

Okay, brunch is in an hour, and I'm still in my pajamas. I need to get myself together and figure out my ride. Well, what is a ride going to cost me? That ride might be more expensive than my French toast. Oh, wait, let me check Lyft, too, real quick before I book. That's less than I thought. I guess those savings can go towards getting the eggs Benedict, too. So when you need to get to Knox Henderson, taking a few seconds to check Lyft when you book your next ride could save you money. Save the money. Check Lyft. Ladies and gentlemen, welcome to the Tim Dillon Show. The Straits of Hormuz are now open, I believe, in a stunning achievement of international diplomacy. And we're still maybe or maybe not, I believe, doing a blockade. And then they might close again. Iran has threatened that. It's by the minute now. By the minute, as I was driving here, I was on my phone, trying not to swerve into oncoming traffic, reading about the updates to the Straits of Hormuz. Iran threatens to disrupt shipping in Red Sea unless the U.S. lifts the blockade. And this is as of a few minutes ago. So they're going back and forth. And I don't know. If you don't like it, vote. Well, and everyone's talking about the midterm. Well, the midterm. There's not going to be any midterms. Israel is going to nuke the midterms. There's no midterms out there. The fantasies you people have about these midterms are hilarious. There's no midterms. Israel's fully nuking the midterms. We'll be in a war with Turkey by then. And you'll actually support it. It'll go the other way because you're just going to start to accept it. But there are no midterms. Sorry about that. I know it seems like a nice way out to do the midterms. But at this point, I don't know. Does anyone feel that the midterms are going to happen? Now, I think they should happen. And I think the Republicans should lose. They've gone back on a lot of their campaigns. They've gone back on a lot of their campaign promises. But does anyone feel like the midterms are out? I'm just asking out there. Does anyone feel great about the midterms? Like, you and your buddies go to the bakery and get a vegan, you know, little apple thing. And you're like, I'm going to vote on the midterms. Does anyone feel like that's going to go on? I hope it does. By the way, I hope it does. But it just feels like by that time, what are we going to bet? A year? Midterms are about a year? Well, I hope they happen. But Trump might go to BB and say, listen, here's the deal. You need to nuke the midterms. Like, we got to figure this out. And BB is going to understand that. BB is going to go, listen, the last thing I need is the Democrats to command. And then this guy to get impeached and convicted and removed. We're working here. We're doing work. We can't have these things. Now, say what you want about Israel. But here's the deal. They are invested in our country. They are. Israel's a friend that has chosen to take a keen interest in our activities. Some friends you have are very casual. They're very casual. I know this. You have very casual people in your life that don't really care what you're doing. Oh, you're dieting? Good for you. And then there are people that take a keen interest in your behavior. Maybe some would call it smothering. A friendship, a closeness that's rather inappropriate. It might feel stifling. It might be a little claustrophobic at times. But that's the relationship we have. That's the relationship we have with Israel right now. It's a friend who's taking a keen interest in what we're choosing to do. And if need be, they might nuke the midterms so that they can really get close to us and really be our friends. I don't know. I'm hoping that doesn't happen. People got mad at me. You know, the press went wild about the assassination attempt thing I said in Butler. They're reporting it everywhere. And I'm like, well, number one, Joe Kent said it. He didn't say it was staged, but he said there's things about the assassination we don't know. And he said I couldn't, I wasn't allowed to investigate it. And he was like the deputy director of, he was the intelligence chief, the deputy czar of whatever the fuck these things are. And he was told you can't investigate it. Kash Patel. He's FBI said you're not allowed to continue to investigate the Butler shooting. Trump shut down the investigation. The administration shut it down. Kent was like, I was also blocked from investigating Charlie Kirk. Now does Joe Kent want to run for political office? Obviously. Does he want to be the president? Yeah. Sure. Does he look at Vance's weakness and go, I can get in there. And then he looks at Rubio and he goes, well, the neocons are going to throw all the money to Rubio. And Joe Kent goes, I got a sharp jaw. He's got that jaw. He's got that look smaxing jaw. Tell me Joe Kent doesn't look like Clavicular's dad. Like he grew up. Joe Kent, get up Joe Kent and then get up Clavicular. And Joe Kent, they look kind of similar. Like Joe Kent looks like the older version of Clavicular because he has that. He has that. He has that jaw. Very shapely. What's the term for that? And why am I not saying it when someone has a real cut jaw like that? Well, anyway, Joe Kent. He just, he, he looks like a guy that would be president. So he wants to be the president. No, this is, that's another. But, but does that mean that he's making it up? Does that mean that Joe Kent's lying? I don't, I don't know. If he was lying, I feel like they would charge him with something. But he hasn't been charged with anything. So he's just coming out and he's saying these things. And then I, on my show, say what he said. They leave him out and they come at me. And my whole thing is this. And I, I'm not going to, I did it last week. So I'm not going to talk about it. I'm just saying I, if Trump said, I staged my own assassination attempt, I would not be angry. I would laugh. It would bring back some levity into this fucking goddamn world. It would be fun and silly. And if he sat down with Barry Weiss on CBS or whoever, Tony Dokuple or whatever, and explained how he did this, we would be riveted and we would be back to fun. Back to fun. So everyone got mad at me for that. And they're going to say, they're going to also get mad at me for the suggestion that Trump and Israel might nuke the midterms. But I'm just saying, I'm asking anyone out there and I'm, you know, these midterms, one, one never knows what could happen. We might be in another war. We might be in a, in a wider war and it's going to be, you know, it's going to get ugly out there. It's so bad. Sam Altman, this is how bad it is. Sam Altman is attacking himself. Sam Altman is paying employees to throw Molotov cocktails at his house. This is how you get ahead of it. Before the real Molotov cocktails come in, you have to pay someone to throw a few fake ones. And then Sam Altman came out and said, this is my, this is my husband. This is my baby. I love my family. Stop throwing Molotov cocktails at my house. Now, I don't know. Maybe someone threw a Molotov cocktail at his house, whatever. And maybe his coder killed himself. I don't know. It's not my business. I see Sam Altman as, as a good example of a happy gay married man who's trying to open stargates around the world to communicate with aliens and build a family. He's trying to build a super intelligent army to fight a global war. And if, and if you don't see him like that, that's, that's on you. Bigot. Um, yeah. Four days before Trump's inauguration, the Wall Street Journal reported, um, someone named Tanun, Tanun paid half a billion dollars to the Trump family in exchange for a stake in its cryptocurrency company. The following day, Sam Altman held a, 25-minute call with Trump, during which they Discussed announcing a version of Chip Co. Time so that Trump could take credit for it. On Trump's second day in office, Altman stood in the Roosevelt Room and announced Stargate. A $500 billion joint venture that aims to build a vast network of AI infrastructure across the U.S. In May, the administration rescinded Biden's export restriction on AI technology. Altman and Trump traveled to the Saudi royal court to meet with Mohammed bin Salman. Around that time, the Saudis advertised the launch of a giant state-backed AI firm in the kingdom with billions to spend on international partnerships. About a week later, Altman laid out a plan for Stargate to expand into the United Arab Emirates. The company plans to build a data center campus in Abu Dhabi, which is seven times larger than Saudi Arabia. And consumes roughly as much electrical power as the city of Miami. The truth of this is, this is a quote, we're building portals from which we're genuinely summoning aliens, a former AI executive said. Now, maybe this is a joke, right? Like, as I'm reading this, I can imagine like some cunty tech executive going, saying something like this to some reporter. You know, like, we're genuinely summoning aliens. But by the way, maybe it's not a joke. And so, we don't know. Quote, the portals currently exist in the United States and China, and Sam has added one in the Middle East. He went on, I just think it's widely important to get how scary that should be. It's the most reckless thing that has been done. Now, in the middle of summoning aliens, this guy, some guy throws a Molotov cocktail at this guy's house. And again, everyone should be against that if it happened. Do you understand? If it happened, you should be against it. And it probably happened. What do I know? I personally, if I was doing what Sam Altman was doing, I would throw a Molotov cocktail at my own house. I'm just telling you a strategy that, that I would employ. I would start doing things that made it seem like I was a sympathetic figure. But, hey. So now, is this Palmer Luckey talking about more alien tech? Now, by the way, so it's interesting. It was, I was with a friend last night. We're in an old mall seeing a film. And we're in this, like, you know, I don't know. It looks like that new movie, Back Rooms, that's coming out. That, you know, that liminal spaces. Literally every mall in the country is that film. And we're walking around this mall in Redondo Beach, California. And it's just bleak and dark and old. And, sorry, I don't know why, what's happening to me. But I have, I have a little frog in my throat. And I'm being, my body's been hijacked by Sam Altman. Sam Altman will figure out how to hijack. My body. Soon. So you're going to see that, you know, what's going to happen is one of these tech people, quite obviously, will biohack my body, will hijack my system eventually. And they will figure out how to do my show. And not only me, they will do it to Rogan. They will do it to everyone. We podcasters will begin to be hijacked by these tech billionaires. And then, you know, they're going to do what they will with us. And it's not going to be a perfect, you know, like, my arms will start, they'll start going and then they'll stop. You know, I'll blame it on some rare disease. But that's coming. So just know that that will be coming eventually. I mean, I don't see, I don't see how it wouldn't. But we're in this old mall and we're walking around. And, you know, you just, you, you, you, there's nothing like a mall to tell you that the old world is dead. There's no physical representation of the death. Of the old world than walking around a mall. If you think any of it is coming back, retail, any of it, people gathering, film, like, you know, any of it, any of the things that you associate with a mall, if you think there is a chance that any recognizable form, that life is going to take a recognizable form again at any point. Go walk around the mall and look and walk around the ancient ruins of the world that you grew up in. And you will realize, as I'm reading on my phone about these tech billionaires trying to open Stargates and these scientists disappearing that are supposedly working on anti-gravity technology. And I'm staring at a Hot Topic in the mall in Redondo Beach. It's like a ghost town. I'm feeling like I'm looking at the past, like I'm a genuine time traveler walking past, you know, the equivalent of a Spencer's Gifts, an Aunt Annie's Prenzel. Who are the people that would shop at Hot Topic? Those fat goths, do they even exist? When's the last time you've seen a fat goth? It's, you know, like I'm sure they're around, but they're not out like they used to be. That used, no, I'm serious. Yes, there were a few hot goths, but most of the goths had a few extra. And, you know, that you would see them at Hot Topic. And I would wander around malls as a kid with my friends. You would smoke a joint. You'd sample some bourbon chicken. You'd get some food. But that world is dead. Completely. And, and, and you should, you should, if you doubt that. I know people that are very hopeful about the return of certain things. Well, you know, people, people actually are always going to want to, they're always going to want to leave their house. I don't know. People are actually always going to want, you know, people like trying things on. Do they? Do they like going and trying? People like trying things on. People like meeting their friends and going to play. Go to a mall and look at the death of that world. It's not coming back. And you feel it. And it would be crazy if it did. It would be even crazier if it did. I grew up at malls. We loved malls. Carlin said it perfectly. It's America's two things, shopping and eating. It's the only two things that's like a religion. But when you walk around one now, you're keenly aware that it's, the world is never going to look the way it did. Drive around LA and everything is for lease, for lease, for lease. A lot of these commercial spaces are gone. The office spaces are gone. So what's going to happen to all of these? And by the way, that's Los Angeles, right? There's, you know, obviously there's parts of it. That thrive and it's a very big city, but go around the country and you will. And I do. And you will see all of this available commercial space. And you say to yourself, what happens with this space? Where does it go? What do people do with it? Who takes on these leases? What, what do you open in our, in this country? What's the business? What's the business you open? You used to be able to open something like edible arrangements. Here's a, here's a, here's a pineapple shaped like a sunflower. We're sorry you had a stroke. That was a business in America, like a genuine business. Oh, you're retiring as a biology teacher after 30 years because you had a weird interaction with a student in the hall. Who cares? Here's an edible arrangement. Here's a melon shaped like a tulip. You gave a back rub to someone. That's not good. I think it's time to retire, Bob. It's time to retire. She was stressed out. Take your edible arrangement and get the fuck out of here. You sick pedophile. But that was a business. You understand? People, that was like a, that made money. I don't know if you had to open a bit. Now, I'm not even kidding. Do this as a thought experiment in your head to see how fucked we are. If you had to open a business in this country where, where no one has any money and everyone hates each other, by the way, everyone is completely paranoid. Justifiably so. No one knows what the hell's going on. What business? What business would you open? I mean, think about like, what would you open here? What would you open in a city where homeless people are multiplying because joblessness is exploding, drug addiction, people with open sores that are festering, the stench of skin rotting, the necrosis, similar to a brown recluse by getting to the bone, the dead tissue. People wandering around, their eyes bugged out of their head. The sounds they make somewhere between a human and a trapped animal in a basement. What business would you open now? What business would you get excited with a cup of coffee? I'm going to the shop, honey. What business? People are terrified of each other. They're scared to be in public. They're waiting for Iranian drones to start blasting them. They don't know what's going on. They're heavily medicated. They're terrified their GLP-1 is going to wear off and they're going to run into a Chinese buffet and kill themselves. That their stomach's going to explode. They're worried the GLP-1, the health care is going to cut off and they go, my stomach exploded last week. Because I couldn't get the shot. What business? Because the GLP-1s, now a lot of people market to pigs, to fat pigs. Now the GLP-1s are making that harder. And we're pro whatever you want to do on this show to help yourself. We always have been, obviously. Now, but now if you had a business for fatty boombaddies, which is a lot of businesses, come, come pig and eat it. Eat it in your car, pig. Eat it in your car. That's a lot of businesses. A lot of it from frozen yogurt to bakeries to smoothies and slushies and burgers and quesadillas. That, you know, there's a lot of businesses aimed at squarely at the fatty. A lot of businesses aimed donuts. I'm not going to go on here, but you get it. The chocolatier. Like, what are we talking about? What are you, 10? There's a lot of businesses. There's a lot of businesses aimed at people who are eating in their car. I've been one of those people. I know what it's like. I know what it's like to shamefully sit in your car alone and eat in a parking lot. A lot of people open a business and say, fat people come in here, they get food, and then they eat it in their car, and they waddle back to the nursery school and teach the children or whatever it is. But now the GLP-1s are here, and people are kind of cleaning it up. So now, then there used to be businesses just for poor people. Debt collection and, you know, the restructuring of your financial liabilities, the Primericas of the world, and don't sue me, I'll sue you back. But businesses targeted to degenerates. Cell phone companies where you had to prepay and they banged you over the head. You know, you get shipped a bunch of credit cards in America, when you're in your late teens, you max them out at college, you fuck yourself up, you start paying for your boyfriend who doesn't like you as much as you think. And then you graduate in your mid-twenties, and you're like, fuck, I got student loan debt, I've got credit card debt. And then one of these places, one of these, they target you. And you walk into a mall, strip mall, and somebody sits down and they figure it out. This is the great tradition of payday loans and small business loans and debt consolidation. So that's a tradition. This is a different genre of business for people that are fucked. Are you fucked? And those things are usually next to the fat businesses. Because those people, a lot of times, and again, I've been it, are one and the same. So you go see the guy about how to restructure your debt, then you get a frozen yogurt and you eat it in your car, and you pray for death. Now, so those are types of businesses you could open up, right? Then there's like the rich businesses, like the antique stores. We got something really. Really cute. I thought of you. Hi, Meryl. I thought of you. We have a table. Remember when you were in here? And I'm so sorry about your husband, I heard. I'm so sorry. Do you know. Remember we were talking about that table, Meryl, and you said you needed a little piece by the window in the kitchen? I. And it had. Meryl, it has a drawer. That's why I called you. It has a drawer. You've got to see it. You've got to come in here and see it right now, please. And that's, you know, a rich business. But think about it. Like, what would you get excited about? In America today, in the current climate in which we live, I give you a few million dollars and I say, hey, good news. The dream of being a small business owner in America is now yours. You get to choose what business you get to wake up every day excited to go to. And people are going to have to think about this. By the way, the era of the mass layoff is here. And this is a fun, exciting article. From Snap to Block to Amazon, a new template for right-sizing the workforce is spreading through C-suites. And other companies are taking note. So what's basically happening is the C-suites are the executives. And they're basically saying we have to right-size, meaning Snap is laying off 16% of its staff. Block lopped off 40% of its workforce. Oracle is shedding thousands of employees after Amazon cut about 30,000 in a matter of months. I think Oracle did that with one email. It was basically like 20,000 or 30,000 people. They were like, everybody get out. Welcome to the era of the mega layoff. So this is the era of the mega layoff. You used to get laid off in a personal way. That's how bad things are. Somebody would bring you into the thing, you know, into the office. And go, listen, you know, we're making changes around here. And I wish I could keep you. And I have been fighting. To keep you, Nancy, because everyone loves you here. And we all know how hard you work, Nancy. We know how hard you work. Oh, please don't cry. Please don't cry. And then Nancy would go, I knew it was coming. I just didn't think it would be this soon. I didn't think it would be this soon. Because Cliff, Cliff is, you know, he's doing good. Because it's Cliff is Nancy's husband who shot a black child. And it's now. Is now under, under investigation. And they go, Nancy, we, we, we, we all support Cliff. And we know that child was, was wrong in the wrong. But, but unfortunately, Nancy, you got to go. Now you just get an email. You get a mass email. And they just tell you, you and everyone, you know. Pretty much are fucked now. And. And this is, this is going to hurt. Like, here's what this is going to hurt. You know, those like outdoor malls that still have a little life in them with like a Jenny's ice cream and a pokey bowl spot. And like, you know, everybody's, you know, they all got back from Coachella and they're talking about, you know, how, how good Bieber's set was. And it was so cool. He went back old school. Like he, these, this is going to turn those places into Detroit. Those upwardly mobile. Six figure earning kind of like Normie core, Austin city limits, white converse shoe wearing New York city, Soho living, matcha drinking, you know, they are fucked. That breed of person is unfortunately now going to be turned into the type of person that I talked about earlier. With the flesh eating diseases and the schizophrenia. That's coming. Now, hopefully these people find a way to avoid that fate. I'm not rejoicing in that. I'm telling you, that's what's happening. These types of people who are used to like traveling and going to places. These are the people that go to Thailand and they post photos of Thailand on their Instagram because they have the money to do that. They are. They are in trouble. Now they are in trouble. The people that think nothing of eating a ribeye for $125 and drinking a $27 glass of Cabernet are in trouble. Now, the people that think nothing of a renting a weekend house in Montauk are in trouble. Now they're in trouble. Now, the young professionals. is being hunted. the six-figure-a-year graduate of a fucking really good private school, maybe not an Ivy, but maybe, but a really good private school, a thing like a Vanderbilt, whatever, the people that move to New York, that move to Brooklyn, that get a job at the startup, that work in fintech, are being hunted by the AI demon in Sam Altman. Sam Altman has released a demon to now hunt some of the people I do find pretty annoying, but I don't want them, I don't want them to end up falling off the grid and wandering around the streets with their children and living in tents. But those Stargates are opening the door and people say to me, why do you call it the AI demon? Well, number one, it's funny. But number two, it's not funny. Number two, I don't know. I don't know what it's going to do. Maybe it's, some people call it a god. Some people say it's a god and it's, you know, whatever. Like Rogan says, like quantum computing plus blah-biddy-blah, maybe that's God. I happen to call it a demon because I liked the world before it. I liked the world, you know, where people would go out and see each other and talk and have jobs and own things. So I call it a demon. I'm not engaging in some quasi-mystic medieval religiosity here. I'm just using a term to describe the nothing. You want me to call it the nothing from Never Ending Story? That's fine. The nothing. If you remember Never Ending Story, the great film from the 90s, where Atreyu battles the nothing. And the nothing blows through the town. And the nothing just leaves everything and it all says, for lease, for lease, for lease. Open a business. Here. Outside the bus stop. In the empty parking lot. Open a business. But the people now, now by the way, globalization has displaced the manufacturing sector in America. So if you lived in upstate New York or Scranton, Pennsylvania or somewhere in the Rust Belt, you've been fucked. You already work at Kroger. You're getting out of prison. Your son's on meth. Okay? Now I'm generalizing, obviously. That's not everyone. Some people's kids run heroin. My point is this. You've been fucked. Oh, your daddy made cars? We don't give a fuck. Spill an aisle four. Take your heroin and go to bed. And that's what we did to those people. And we call them white trash. And we call them Nazis. And we call them names. And we watch them die. And we don't care. And if some of them happen to die in our cities, we get off on it. We jerk our cocks and flick our beans to watching people stroke out on our streets and die. Because we feel that we're good liberals by watching people die. We have a death fetish. People in Portland and Los Angeles, these well-meaning white people, they never want to criticize homeless or unhoused or whatever. They don't want anyone off the street. They have a death fetish. They come. They come a little harder knowing someone's dead near them. Sorry, but that's what it is. Don't love it. Don't love it. But they feel like they're good people. But it's a psychosexual fetish where they like to watch people have seizures on the street and it allows them to sit and stroke their cock. And I don't think it's good. But it is a death fetish that white, these same people that, this guy is now hunting, they have a death fetish because the Kroger people, the veterans, whatever, whoever, are stroking out on the street and these people don't want to say anything about it. They don't want to offend anyone. And now it's coming for them. And now you stroke out on the street. And now you put the needle in your arm, Savannah. How about that, Savannah? Who worked at Oracle? Now you put the needle in your arm, now you're a prostitute, Savannah. You used to work at Oracle and you're a fucking whore now because you want to survive. Not so fun, is it? Speaking in hushed tones about, you know, the need to be compassionate to people, even though you've never engaged in that personally. Civic duty, compassion. Where are they going to go? We need to let them die outside of Trader Joe's. Well, you're going to join him now. You're going to join him, Savannah. You're going to join him. And I hope not. By the way, I hope not. I am not rejoicing in the idea of the young professionals in our country becoming homeless. I am not. But I am telling you, they are being hunted now by the demon, by the nothing. You sit in an office all day. Who knows what you do? There's a meeting at four. You guys get the email about the meeting at four? Yeah, we got it. It's like a meeting we all have to be in. Yeah, we have to be in the one at four. All right. Is it like a brand meeting? I think it's an overall meeting. That world, the world is going to collapse. So I think people are going to have to start getting ready for that. Katie Porter back in the governor's race. Eric Swalwell is out of the race because what? He raped everyone? Swalwell's exit means for Democrats in California's governor's race. So here's the thing. Billionaire Tom Steyer and ex-Congresswoman Katie Porter stand to benefit. The most in Democratic field with no clear front runner. Several strategists said. Eric Swalwell scandal tainted departure from the California governor's race. What is so funny, by the way, as I see Kathy Griffin and all these people on threads that were just talking about how great Eric Swalwell was. This is always funny when they're all like, and by the way, they all yell at me because I had J.D. Vance on. They're like, you spoke to J.D. Vance and now he's doing all of this stuff. And you have blood on your hands. And you go, well, how about you all just were saying how great Eric Swalwell was five minutes ago and he's throwing women in a closet. He's raping everyone. You were all talking about how great this guy was literally last week. And he's going around and throwing women down the well. And you all tell me how great he was. He understands California is a complex ecosystem of, oh, I'm sorry, that sound, that's a woman that went down the well. Can you get up a little news story about what he did, Eric Swalwell? There's all kinds of photos of him, right? On just, all these women are like, this guy's a creep. This isn't one of those like a misunderstanding things. I think this guy's a real creep. You're yelling at me about J.D. Vance. J.D. Vance doesn't attack women. I don't think his wife even, speaks to him. Eric Swalwell. What's going on here? Let's, let's watch a little bit. By the way, the California, the New York Post moving to California is like obviously not helping. It's just the most hysterical reporting ever. And I agree with some of what the, but there's just no need for another media, like another like psycho media institution in California. Like literally every, every headline from the California Post is like homeless trans person chokes, and you're like, all right, let's watch this here. Who's this? Is this Judge Jeanine? I think that's Judge Jeanine. Thank God. So now Judge Jeanine now, friend of the show, Judge Jeanine, who looks drunk. I like Judge Jeanine because she's hammered. I looked at a house by Judge Jeanine in Florida years ago. This is a true story. And my realtor goes, you know, Judge Jeanine lives next door. And she, I swear, she walked out of her, her house at a certain point, like, like 30 minutes into the showing. It was like a long showing. And he goes, Judge Jeanine. She goes, what? And he goes, this is Tim Dillon. She goes, who? And that was it. And it was that warm welcome. But here she is. This is a Judge Jeanine talking about Eric Swalwell, who apparently was an amazing person up until last week when he started throwing women in his closet. Someone who was like, someone who was allegedly drugging, choking, raping victims. Drugging, choking, raping. By the way, by the way, drugging, choking, raping. That's what he was doing. And then everybody on threads, because they're all geniuses, were like, well, this guy's great. We got to throw our support behind him. And he was drugging and choking and raping people. So this idea that like, all of these people are like omniscient guardians of truth all the time. You just, supported a guy who was drugged Hugging, choking, and raping people, which in fairness to Eric Swalwell, was probably legal in California 10 years ago. But the point is this. All of these people are the same people that will attack any person who thought Donald Trump had a good idea. That doesn't mean that he had a million good ideas, but he had some good ideas. And he still does, by the way. He's just chosen to not do anything about any of them. And instead, we're invading Cuba, which is not what anyone signed up for. But these people, with no irony and no self-reflection at all, who supported the drugging, choking, raping Eric Swalwell up until 10 minutes ago, will tell you that everyone should be omniscient and know everything that's going to happen. Give it up for, let's listen a little more here to Judge Jeanine, friend of the show. Judge Jeanine Pirro, a lot of people make fun of her alcoholism. I think a functioning alcoholic is more impressive than a regular person, and I always have. And let me dig into this before we go to Judge. When you meet, my friend's father was a, and he died of cirrhosis to liver, it's fine. But when he was a functioning alcoholic, like a guy who just every morning he wakes up, and the goal is just to plow through the day, or a lady, to plow through the day, so they can get back home. They get booze in a glass so that they can sit on their couch and go to that place where it's okay. They just want to go to that place where it's okay. The second glass, when that second glass, that cork opens, that bottle of wine, that ice clinking in that martini shaker, they just want to go to that place where it's okay. And all day, they're. It's actually pretty fucking productive. Because the sooner they get what they need to done, they go home, and cleared for takeoff, they're ready to go. They're out of there. And they're in that place where everything is warm, and everyone loves them, and everything's okay, and everyone's proud of them. So I've always respected Judge Jeanine. I like functioning alcoholics, and I like when they get a little messy. They're going to get a little messy sometimes. Judge Jeanine. Take it away. The district, for a significant period of time, I would expect there would be victims who might have information. What I think is really important right now is for anyone who has any relevant information or has any complaints. Hold on for a second. Judge Jeanine is now asking people with complaints against Swalwell. Is she prosecuting this case, or they just bring. Does Judge Jeanine have anything to do with this? I guess so, right? What is. Is Judge Jeanine. Is Judge Jeanine like the Attorney General? Now, what's going on with Judge Jeanine? Oh, she's a U.S. attorney. D.C. U.S. attorney. So wait a minute. Was Pam Bondi replaced by Judge Jeanine? Hold on. What's going on? I need to know this. She's a U.S. attorney. What is Judge Jeanine doing here? So she's United States Attorney for the District of Columbia. So Google who's our Attorney General right now. I'm wondering, who is Attorney General of the United States right now? Todd Blanche, right. The guy who cut the Maxwell deal. Good for you. Right. Okay. He can play the game. He plays ball. So is she. Is she like an Attorney General for the state of California? No, she doesn't even live here. She lives in Florida, right? Right? So. What is Judge Jeanine doing? Oh, she lives in New York and then whatever. All right, whatever. So Judge Jeanine is a U.S. attorney. And I guess they're just bringing her on to. Is she pursuing a Fed case? Okay. Judge. Okay, so D.C. U.S. attorney Jeanine Pirro announced earlier Thursday that she has opened a hotline for anybody to give information about alleged sexual or inappropriate conduct in D.C. by the married Swalwell 45. Because you got to remember, Eric Swalwell was a congressman. And then he was running for the governor of California. By the way, FBI Director Kash Patel has also encouraged any possible victims to contact federal law enforcement. I mean, this is a guy that told us there were no. Jeffrey Epstein had no victims. Kash Patel is asking victims of Eric Swalwell to contact law enforcement so he can promptly delete their messages. Kash Patel wants you to call up and leave a message so he can send agents to your house and threaten you. Can you believe it, this goon? Patel goes, we should welcome him to sit down with the FBI and share any information he has. Patel tauntingly wrote on social media Monday evening, hey, release the files, you fucking fraud. You should be fired. Victims shared harsh graphic stories being assaulted by the new former lawmaker with one accusing Swalwell of sexually assaulting her at the Times Square. Patel has been charged with assaulting her at the Times Square in April, 2024. Well, I'm confident that Kash Patel is going to get to the bottom of this because he's done a great job with the other victims. Right? With Epstein and all this. Like, he's done a phenomenal job with all the other victims. So, this Eric Swalwell guy is out. So, this guy's a bad guy, okay? We're not going to go through every allegation. He's a bad dude. He's telling women, let's go to the hotel and I got to get some clothes, I got to pick something up, whatever, he's doing some bad stuff. Now, Katie Porter, friend of the show, and our choice, this is, we're going to make an endorsement now because we don't endorse people on this show ever. But we are endorsing, right now, we are endorsing Katie Porter because the Democrats will win California. It's not going to, I don't think it's not going to win. Spencer Pratt's not going to win. It's not going to happen. You know? I'm sure Spencer Pratt's a nice guy. But I don't think he's going to win. But maybe he'll win. I don't think he's going to win. But I don't know. The polls are not looking, they're not too hot. We're going to endorse Katie Porter here because we, if we're going to, if it's all going to end, which it is, by the way, spoiler alert, we'd like to end it with Katie Porter. We need kind of this hamburger helper, abusive mom, to kind of bring it all to heel. Let's watch a little bit of this because now this is Katie Porter outlining her priorities. Now, by the way, we don't need to know Katie's policies to endorse her. This is our new rule with any politician we endorse. We don't need to know their, and we've never endorsed a politician before, but we're going to start right now with Katie Porter. And we don't need to know her policies. And in fact, we'd rather not, but we're going to watch this news clip anywhere where Katie is going to outline her priorities for the state of California. Now, remember, Katie is, I believe, from Orange County. She's a mom and she's mad and she's angry. So, and we need that. We need kind of that energy because Newsom is too suave. He's like a slick scumbag, lives on a vineyard type of guy. We've had that. Cool as a cucumber. The fucking silver fox hair, all that, but we don't want that anymore. We need a mom who's angry. We need a mom who occasionally shits herself. Not full on. Not like full on where it's embarrassing, but where you just say to yourself, I kind of shit myself. We need a mom who is on the shot, takes a little Mojano and then gets ahead of herself. And has a little burrito and he's got to go home and change the pants. And on the phone with her assistant goes, I shit myself. She's angry at the assistant that she had to spell it out that she, that the assistant didn't automatically know what I have to go back home means. Well, are you going back home? Is there something that I can pick up at your house? Because you're actually running late. Hey, I got to go back home. Is there anything that I can pick up at your house? I can just get for you because you're actually already 15 minutes late for that. I shit myself. And then there's silence on the other end of the phone. And then the person goes, understood. That's what we need. We need a governor who screams, I shit myself into the phone. And then there's a quick pause. And then her assistant goes, understood. Katie Porter. Former Orange County Congresswoman Katie Porter is a top Democratic contender in the race for California governor. Ahead of the June primary, Porter is among the Democrats hoping to pick up Congressman Eric Swalwell's supporters. That's right. Everyone on KTLA outlining her. That's your boy. Keep going. Sorry. Tackling homelessness and giving free college tuition. KTLA's Annie Rose Ramos reports. Katie Porter says it's time for California's first female governor. That's right. a time for women to lead? That's right. It now stopped. Katie's on a shot! Katie looks good now. She's on a goddamn shot. Katie looks good. Fuck. Katie's coming. I'm proud of Katie. So now Katie is getting healthier because, remember, she almost killed her assistant when her assistant mistakenly stumbled into the frame. So now Katie has started her campaign with it's time for women to lead. This is her first policy. Now, I like this policy because it's not about anything that the state is going through. It's not about the budget shortfall or employment. It's not about homelessness or crime. It's not about the fiscal health of the state. It's not about anything climate-related, fire prevention, or anything like that. Katie has decided the most important thing is just to say it's time for women to lead. Now, you might think the mayor of Los Angeles is a woman. The mayor of the largest, you know, the one that burned down, the mayor of the largest city in L.A. is already a woman. In fact, a woman of color. There's tons of women on the L.A. City Council. You know the council that governs the largest city in the United States of America? That's also a woman. The mayor of Beverly Hills, one of the wealthiest cities in America, is a woman. Interesting. But Katie Porter has decided that it's time. It's time for women to lead. Let's, because I, so that policy I like so far. I like that policy because it doesn't, it's not about anything. So that's what I like. So I, by the way, this is my, I tell everyone to stay above the fray. Just say things like that. It's time for women to lead and women to be listened to. And so, okay, let's continue. Let's see what policy number two is. Katie Porter. I think this is a time for moms to lead. Okay. Stop. Stop. Stop. Stop. We have policy number two. Policy number two from Katie Porter. It's time for moms to lead. Policy number two, because again, this is the morning news. KTLA Channel 5. They're in a disgusting park. They've put Katie Porter in one of those directing chairs. By the way, she's heavily drugged. Not only on the shot, she's heavily drugged because she cannot be. The thing about Katie Porter is. She has to be on several medications so she doesn't punch this skinny bitch in the face who's bothering her. So now Katie Porter is. Now, can you Google if Karen Bass has children, the mayor of L.A.? I'm just curious. I don't know. I don't really care about people's families, but I just want to make a point. I wonder if Karen Bass, the mayor of Los Angeles, is a woman. Oh, she does have a child. Okay. So again, it's interesting because. Katie Porter, I guess, doesn't know that the mayor of Los Angeles is a mom and a woman. I'm unaware of this, but the mayor of L.A. is a mom and a woman. Many of the people on the L.A. City Council are women, identify as women, and believe a lot of them are mothers. And I know for a fact that the mayor of Beverly Hills is a woman, and I believe she has children. Google. The mayor of Beverly Hills family. Again, I don't really like even talking about people's family. I'm just making a point because Katie Porter has said it's time for moms to lead, and I couldn't agree more. Oh, Craig is now the mayor. Sharona Nazarian is the one that I know. Craig just got elected. So a dude just got elected and replaced a woman. I thought it was a woman, but a dude did just get elected. And. Yeah, she was a mother. She was a mom. And she just did get replaced by a guy. But is she running again? I don't know. There's a lot of people in our country that are. And by the way, that are near Katie Porter. Katie Porter could meet these people and probably has. So we have a mother and a woman leading the city of Los Angeles. That's pretty obvious. But so, okay. So the first two planks in the platform. I like women to lead moms to lead. Let's see. Let's hit us. Hit us with some specifics, Katie. Don't make us wait. Katie Porter, again, friend of the show. Three who drives a minivan sort of famously. You must be acutely aware of gas prices. Californians want relief at the pump. You say no to big oil. Well, one of our reasons that our gas is more expensive here is because we have something called the low carbon fuel standard. We have our own blend of gas. And now they see beautiful clean air. We're seeing respiratory health go improve. That's because we have our own fuel blend. So to be clear, you would strongly oppose sort of opening up those refineries, drilling. We have refineries open right now in California and they need to stay open. So now what Katie is now talking about, the news person said, you're a mom. You have a minivan. And there's just paint at the pump. And Katie goes, well, we have a minivan. We have paint at the pump because we have a low carbon fuel emission, blah, blah, blah. Standard. We have our own blend of gasoline. And now we have clean air and then respiratory health. By the way, a lot of people are getting lung cancer that have never smoked. Whatever. Katie Porter is now claiming that respiratory health is up. Now, I don't know how she's measuring that. Everyone I know is sick every two weeks. People are dying of lung cancer at 24 years old that have never touched a cigarette. But Katie Porter is now saying, actually, it's okay that gas is expensive. But the real answer is Katie Porter says, here's the deal. You don't have to drive far to attack your husband. You want to save the gas for the days when you need to show up at your ex-husband's house with a weapon. No, Katie Porter is, and now I understand what she's saying because you can't turn everything in. Because the Republicans, if they were in power, would just turn everything into Mordor. Everything's oil, sludge, and horror. And I get that. We can't have that. So let's listen to a little bit more of Katie Porter here. Again, we're endorsing her. By the way, without knowing any of these policies, I don't even know what, and she doesn't know what her policies are. It doesn't matter. None of them do. Actually, spoiler alert, none of them have a clue because once you own this dump, then you realize you can't really help anything. Nothing's going to get fixed. But let's listen to a little bit of Katie Porter. The most painful I've had in a long time. It's because of President Trump's war in Iran. That is why we're seeing a $6 gap. She's hitting Iran, and she's right. One of your platforms, eliminating state income taxes for families making under $100,000. Doing this by making the corporate tax structure progressive. That does hinge, though, on a vote. My question to you is, what happens if you cannot get the vote? Is there, in other words, a plan B? Californians are going to be the ones, as you point out, who get to decide. And they understand right now. She wants to eliminate state income taxes. She wants to eliminate state income taxes for people under $100,000 and do that by making the corporate tax progressive. I don't hate that. I don't hate eliminating the, uh, I don't know how many taxes those people pay anyway. I'm sure they do pay taxes. I don't know what the percentage is, but I don't hate that idea. The thing about Katie Porter is she does have some good ideas. She does understand that we do need to help people that have less money. So, um, let's just finish. Let's finish this out because I do, again, I'm, I like her. I, I, I don't hate this woman. She's fun to talk about because she's abusive and cruel and all the things that I like and think are important, actually. Um, but let's just finish up with her. Overtime, they get a big raise at work. They might pay a little more tax that year. They might get bumped up into a higher bracket and they think it's absolutely fair that the same thing should happen for businesses. You're promising free tuitions at UCs and CSUs. It's in part funded by that progressive corporate tax you just explained. Can you drill down on some of the details of this plan? My proposal is to pay her two tuition free years at a UC, a CSU or a Cal Poly with those two free years at community college. Does this apply to people who identify as undocumented? There's no qualifiers on that with regard. So she's saying we're going to get free tuition, two years at a community college and then two years at a regular school. And that it'll apply to undocumented people, too. It's whatever she's giving. She's basically saying, listen, we're giving you two years at a community college for free, I think. And then we're going to give you two years at a Cal Poly or or a thing like that. Now, here's the problem with school being the answer. School is not. I get rid of her, by the way. Thank you, Katie Porter. We appreciate it. We'll see you on the campaign trail. I've offered my services. No one's called me back. All right. School is not the answer. I don't know why we and I'm serious here. I don't know why we keep this bullshit about school being the answer. School's not the answer. It's clearly not the answer. We literally just talk about the era of the mass layoff. Can you go to that article again? Because, by the way, all of those people that just got told to fuck themselves, they all went to school. They all went to college. You think? They didn't go to college? working at Oracle? You think somebody found them on the street? No, they all went to college. They all have student loans. In Silicon Valley and beyond, companies are cutting staff and doing it with a big ax. Instead of laying off people in more incremental and less disruptive ways, employers are seizing on the potential financing upsides, financial upsides, of severing swaths of their workforce at once. That is a departure from not long ago when mass layoffs registered as a sign of trouble or mismanagement that a company needed to take drastic measures to right its performance. Now, such a company is more likely to get a big stock bump and praise from investors for acting boldly. That's what the country we've created, where somebody walks in and goes, we fired everyone. You've acted boldly. You've acted boldly. Put them all in the street. Behind the scenes, so Snap got rid of 23% over the last year. Shablock shares had fallen 16% this year. Before it later, 4,000, nearly half of its employees in late February. The stock has since reversed those losses and then some. So by the way, companies cutting employees tells the stock market things are good. This is how perverse this is. So if you're eliminating thousands of people from your company and profits are going up that way, instead of your company growing, and adding employees and adding market share, you're signaling we're going to eliminate human capital and we're going to eventually automate all of these jobs. We're going to use AI and the investors are going to benefit. And instead of the stock market going, oh, you're in a precarious financial position that you need to ax all these people. They go, no, this is great. We're going to get rid of all these people. Let's get rid of them. Let's get rid of them and put them on the street. But here's my point. All of these people that worked at these companies went to school. They all have degrees. Some of them have graduate degrees. And the idea that educate, you know, when I grew up, everybody taught and they were, they were not wrong. They talked about how important education was. Education is the key. It's in the information age. Don't be in a union, you pig. Don't work construction. Don't work with your hands. Be fat and work in an office. That's the dream. Have back spasms and work in an office all day and have someone tell you when you move up a floor, you want the big office, Bob? You want the big office, don't you, Bob? Well, you'll get it soon, Bob. Keep doing everything you're doing. We're looking at you. And we told people, we demonized an entire swath of jobs. Plumbers, electricians, people that work with their hands, people that work in unions, people that install HVAC, we said they were all animals and pigs and they pointed at the people in the street doing construction, fixing potholes on roads that you needed to drive over to get to your fucking house. And you said, you want to be like them or you want to go to college? You want to go to college? You can work at IBM and get cheated on. Don't you want to go to college and work at IBM so your husband can cheat on you with a child? Your pedophile husband? Is it a nice life you have working at IBM? You FBI trained your husband out of the house, pedophile? That's an aside. We've demonized so many jobs and so many fields and then Katie Porter and all these people, they cannot help their snobbery. And it's not just Katie Porter. They cannot help looking down on people. They love these institutions that supposedly convey some worth on people. And all of a sudden, all of these people are graduating from college into the weakest job market in years and they have their. I'm not saying we don't need college. I'm not saying we don't need specialized skills. There's going to be a lot of jobs for nurses and home health aides and people that run nursing homes and hospices and things like that because we have hundreds of millions of people that are about to retire. And that are retired and about to really need end-of-life care. So I get it. You're going to need people to compete in highly skilled manufacturing jobs. You know, Taiwan's making all these chips because we haven't devoted a ton of time and resources to preparing a workforce to do those specially skilled, high-end manufacturing jobs that we'll need as tech becomes even more and more a part of. the economic picture. But the idea that, like, school. Now, listen, I get it. Go and be a teacher. Go be a specific thing and go get a degree for a specific thing. But this idea that you're going to get a very broad degree in some type of discipline that can be applied anywhere. Ooh, you. And you also studied. Well, that's interesting. And that that is going to be your ticket. It's not going to work anymore because Sam Altman has opened the Stargate and the AI demon is chasing you around that little Brooklyn apartment and he's going to sink his teeth into your neck. Don't be mad at me. It is what it is. You're going to be eliminated when. Whether you have your degree or not. So what Katie Porter should say, if I. I'm telling you, she should say, we need a massive infrastructure project. We need high-speed rail. We need to invest in our public spaces. We need to rebuild bridges. We need to rebuild buildings. We need to destigmatize lots of jobs in this country and prepare people for incoming AI. And it's going to take a long time before AI is going out there to run. We need to replace HVAC or whatever. We need teachers and cops and firefighters. We need medical professionals to help homeless people and addicts. Okay? We need all of that. But to just say we're going to send you to community college and then put you at USC? Who gives a fuck? For what? I have a master's in public administration. Shut up. Shut up. I'm telling you, Sam Altman has opened the Stargate. It's not as easy anymore as going and getting an impressive degree and standing there in front of your fucking dumb family. Sharon's so smart. We always knew she was smart. Is she? Is she smarter than the AI demon? Oh, I think not. I think not. So what's coming is going to be incredibly disruptive. And it would be smart if our politicians started shifting our cultural values along with their priorities and start talking about realistic, rational ways for people to actually earn a living. But again, listen. We can all be wrong, right? Kicking, choking, drugging, raping, choking, raping, drugging your friend. You went to fundraisers at his house. You drank wine with him. You talked to him. You talked about how great he was on Threads, Kathy Griffin and others. And by the way, I don't fault you. He said some nice things. Should I go around faulting everyone? Is it their fault? I don't think it's their fault. Kicking. Maybe it wasn't kicking. Maybe I'm adding kicking. I think I'm at drugging, choking, raping is enough. I think I'm adding kicking to that. I think I'm adding kicking. I think it was, I think drugging, choking, raping. Can we just, let's get a little more Judge Jeanine here just from the beginning here. Hear about someone who was allegedly drugging, choking, raping victims. Okay, I added kicking. It's drugging, choking, and raping. I added kicking. So as a journalist, I'm taking responsibility. I don't know if Eric Swalwell kicked them. He drugged them, choked them, and raped them. I added kicking. I just got ahead of myself. I imagine when you were drugging, choking, and raping someone that you might throw a kick. So as a journalist, I want to apologize to the members of the press community for insinuating that Eric Swalwell, who drugged, raped, and choked, women that he also kicked them he may not have kicked them He may have kicked him, and we don't know. But we support Katie Porter. It's time for moms to lead, because it's time for moms to go out there, women, moms, it's time for moms, and not rich moms, minivan moms. I believe this. Minivan moms who've had enough, that's kind of the, we need to pivot in that direction. Pivot away from Gavin Newsom, his silver hair, you know, his charm, you know, his wife's out there talking about killing someone. Remember she killed someone, Gavin Newsom's wife? She went to some jail. She's like, you're all killers, but so am I. And we're all doing fine. She goes, it was an accident. I killed someone as an accident, and I killed you, and I'm sure you all killed someone as an accident. Try to get up. Gavin Newsom's wife, and then we'll end the show like this, but Gavin Newsom's wife recently was like, hey, she went to a jail, or maybe it was a while ago, and it just surfaced recently. But she was basically, she killed someone by accident. So Jennifer Sybil Newsom, the wife of Gavin Newsom, yeah, she accidentally killed her sister. Make this bigger, please. She killed her sister by accident. Governor Gavin Newsom's wife told inmates she had killed her sister in a freak golf carting accident in a bar. It was an apparent attempt to connect with them. Yeah. Yeah. Jennifer Sybil Newsom, an actress, documentary filmmaker, and wife of Gavin Newsom, recounted her comments in a resurfaced clip from 2016. Speaking at a tech conference in San Francisco, she said she, quote, had to be very raw when she interviewed the young offenders for a 2015 documentary which examined how cultural norms about masculinity affected boys. I told them about my own loss, she says in the footage, with tears in her eyes. She said, I lost my eldest sister a few days before my seventh birthday, and I blame myself for her death. Well, what? Why? During a holiday to Hawaii in 1981, Ms. Newsom, then age six, had been playing with her eight-year-old sister, Stacey, when the golf cart she had been driving went into reverse and killed Stacey. Here's what happened. Do you want to know what happened? She said she didn't see the sister behind the cart. That's a lie. That's a lie. She was on a golf cart, and she's young. She doesn't know golf carts kill people. She sees the sister behind her. She tries to scare the sister a little bit, and she kills her. She kills her. It's manslaughter. It's manslaughter. I'm not saying, hey, you're a kid, but it's manslaughter. It's manslaughter. Well, in this case, woman slaughter, or as Katie Porter would call it, mom slaughter. Because it's time for women to lead. It's time for women to get in the golf carts and kill their sisters again, and then go to the prison and talk about it. But, and God bless Jennifer Sybil Newsom, whatever. God bless. Get her out of here. But, and we, that's a sad tragedy and whatever. And she went to a jail and said, I'm sure all of you guys are in here because of a golf accident as well. Aren't all you guys in here because of a golf carting accident? And then some guy's like, no, we actually dissolved the body of a guy in a tent. In a tub. Right. So it was, was it, which hole was that? Hole 19? Yes, hole 19. The one after 18. The one off the course, hun. Anyway, that's Jennifer Sybil Newsom, but that's not what we need. We don't need people, you know, with golf cart accidents in their past. We need a Katie Porter. We need a woman who at the public pool summer snack bar. I want you to picture this. She's in Teva sandals. Those are the sandals. They're not flip-flops. They're Tevas. They, they, they have the, the, um, get up Teva sandal. It's the, um, Velcro. Make that big. She's in a Teva sandal. There it is. Katie Porter's in a Teva sandal at the summer snack shop. At the pool. And she's on a line. And there's two people ahead of her. And one of them's some Republican dad. She just knows. She knows he's some fucking Republican dad. And she's standing there and her eyes are burning the back of his head and she's praying. She just wishes a freak lightning strike came out of the clear blue sky and just zapped him and watch him burn. And she stands there and she stands there and she stands there and then she gets one of the children nuggets and the other one pizza. And she gets herself a Caesar salad. And she sits down by the pool and she goes, it's time to eat! Time to eat! That's how she talks. Time to eat! Get out of the park! Time to eat! And the kid has one nugget and wants to go back to the pool. And then the kid takes two bites of the pizza and goes back in the pool. And she's secretly relieved because now she has four nuggets and 80% of a slice of pizza at the public pool. And the kids go back and play in the pool and she goes, fine, well, whatever. We'll eat later. And she quickly and quietly eats the nuggets and the pizza and she goes, and she puts them in the garbage and she sits down and her friend texts her and goes, listen, the Swalwell thing's breaking right now. We're back. And Katie Porter with pizza still lodged in her throat and sauce on her face and her fingers looks at her iPhone and she lives another day. The gleam in her eyes could light a thousand torches through the woods. It's time for women and even more than that, it's time for moms. Bye-bye.