485 - Kash Patel, Into Iran, & A Missing Leg

This is Matt Rogers from Lost Culture East, that's with Matt Rogers and Bowen Yang. This is Bowen Yang from Lost Culture East, that's with Matt Rogers and Bowen Yang. You know when people try a new food and suddenly it's like, okay, hold on, I got a new favorite food! That's the reaction a lot of people are having when they first try Kewpie mayo. Yeah, it's the one with the red cap and the little baby on the bottle. You've probably seen it at the grocery store. And this mayo is different. Mm-hmm, most mayonnaise uses whole eggs. Kewpie only uses egg yolks, which gives it this rich umami flavor. It's smoother, deeper, almost buttery. Once people try it, they start putting it on everything. Eggs, sandwiches, fries, burgers. Chefs use it, restaurants use it, people who really care about flavor use it. Put it on just about anything. Then you'll understand. Kewpie, the original Japanese mayonnaise. Ladies and gentlemen, welcome to the Tim Dillon Show. They say AI is going to take white-collar jobs in like, what, 18 months? What? I'm going to have to get attacked in the street by white-collar people? Where are you going to be safe when all this happens? Where are you going to be? You know how demoralizing it's going to be to get attacked in the street by consultants and secretaries and accountants and lawyers? You know, I'm prepared to get attacked, you know, by the meth zombie, you know, contingent. Um, people foaming at the mouth, you know, people addicted to new designer drugs. But, you know, white-collar work, look, look that up. Bring some of that up because this, I was reading this and I was kind of disturbed by it. Now, I don't know if it's true. I tend to think this, uh, uh, AI stuff is a little overblown. I think it's overblown. I think Sam Altman's a criminal. I think a lot of the open AI is fake. I don't know. I think a lot of it is just, um, overblown. And a lot of people are basically, um, freaking out prematurely. I'm not saying that they're, they shouldn't be freaking out. You should freak out. You should freak out a little bit. But I don't think any of that's happening tomorrow. But where am I going to do this show from to be safe from like hordes of middle management white-collar Panera eating zombies? Because that's what's coming. You're going to watch like dental hygienists. Like, I guess, you know, like, like, uh, like the people at the dentist's office, that woman that schedules you, she's going to be on the street now with her kids and her husband. And then the guy, uh, who works as an accountant, he's on the street. And then the guy who works as an accountant, he's on the street. And then the consultants are on the street. The 12-month deadline is AI about to wipe out white-collar jobs. Um, and this is, uh, I believe this is, uh, India, but this is the same, you know, where, where all of these articles are kind of the same. And they're all like, they're giving these crazy timelines. Microsoft AI chief gives it 18 months for all white-collar work to be automated by AI. So white-collar people in the street trying to kill you, addicted to drugs, losing their home, living in shanty towns, starting fires for warmth, skin diseases, scabs, picking at scabs, flesh rotting, you know what I mean? That's what's coming. White-collar workers are getting nervous with good reason. Sure, 98% of college graduates who want a job still have one and wages are ticking up. Sure, some companies that cite the labor-saving efficiency-promoting effects of chat GPT and Claude as they let employees go are just AI-washing, talking about algorithms to distract from poor managerial decisions. But the labor market for office workers is beginning to shift. Americans with a bachelor's degree account for, quote, a quarter of the unemployed, a record. Here's what this is going to be, folks. This is the revenge of the blue-collar trade workers. This is a reversal of the class system in America. Plumbers, electricians, union people, people that work with their hands, people that build things, they are going to be, they're going to fare better in this market than a lot of the white-collar people. And we should fear the white-collar people. We should fear them. I'm telling you that. If the white-collar workers get displaced, things are going to go nuts. Things are going to go fucking nuts. You know, I mean, it's true. These people are going to, God only knows what they do if they cannot live that life, that white-collar life where they can't live that life. They have like, you know, a salad with goat cheese and a glass of white wine. If you take that away from them, we're going to have a real revolution and a real problem. So, I don't know what's going to happen. Hopefully, hopefully this isn't happening in 12 months. Occupations susceptible to AI automation have seen sharp spikes in joblessness. Employers really are shrinking payroll and cutting costs as they deploy. In recent weeks, Baker McKenzie, a white-shoe law firm, axed 700 employees. Salesforce sacked hundreds of workers. And the auditing firm KPMG negotiated lower fees with its own auditor. Two CNBC reporters with no engineering experience vibe-coded a clone of Monday.com's workflow management platform in less than an hour. You know what's also going out of business? Well, the headhunter. Headhunters. Remember that? All the headhunters go on themonster.com or whatever and get a job. We're going to help you find a job. I'll tell you right now. You got to find something for these people to do. There are some of the most annoying people in our society. There are some of the most entitled and annoying people in our society. They are. I mean, I'm just, they're not even going to make good homeless people, you know? And I know that's controversial, but some people are good. They make good homeless people. They know how to do it. They adapt to it quickly. They have the kind of physicality for it. They have the mental, you know, the stamina for it. I don't like it, but every now and then you'll see a homeless person and go, you don't have a shot. You're fucked. But then certain homeless people, they're, they're hardened, they're in it, and it's who they are. And these white-collar fox are not going to be able to handle it. These are petty, annoying, and yes, many of them are useless. Much of, and I'm not defending AI here because I think it's a big problem, but most of these people don't do anything for a living and are useless. A lot of jobs are fake, but people still, they still have to do them. They still have to pull their car into an office in Phoenix, Arizona, get out in the blistering heat, walk inside, and do something with their meaningless life. If you don't give people something to do, which is why I'm a huge fan of office work, I'm a big fan of menial tasks, I'm a big fan of, like, pretend work, and that's why I'm a huge fan of office work. That's what all these people are doing. I did an episode a while ago where I defended the office life, the life that millennials bemoan because it's not exciting enough and it doesn't inspire them. That pointless life of shuffling around an office, reading reports, making recommendations that completely useless life is under threat in a way like it's never been before. It's under attack. It's under attack. And if you don't find something for these people to do, we're going to have a major problem. People need to think they're doing. No one's really doing anything for the most part. A lot of people aren't. But they need to think they're doing something. Because if they don't have some kind of purpose, and again, we're not talking about the fellowship of the ring here in terms of purpose. They don't need to go to Mordor to throw the thing into a. You know, a volcano or to Mount. We're just talking about going to a strip mall in Minneapolis and sitting in a debt collection office and threatening poor people. Someone needs to go to a debt collection office in Minneapolis and threaten poor people and call them and tell them that they have to make a minimum payment. They have to. Do it on the phone right now. Do it on the. phone right now. that has to still be a job. Telemarketing, call centers have to still be a job. People have to be able to walk into buildings, pick up a phone, call other people in this country, elderly people, drunk people, confused people, and swindle them out of retirement. It's literally our entire economy. I don't know what you think is going to happen when you get rid of that. Somebody's got to be able to sit there with a fucking five-hour energy and a lead sheet that looks like this of names, and they've got to call all of those people, and they've got to try to get them to take a reverse mortgage out on their house. If you destroy white-collar work, you're going to have all of these people in the street. Maybe algorithm-driven changes will happen slowly, giving workers plenty of time to adjust. Maybe white-collar types have 12 to 18 months left. Maybe the AI, related job carnage, will be contained to a sliver of the economy. Maybe we should be more worried about a stock market bubble than an AI-driven labor revolution. I don't think anyone knows what will happen or even what is happening now. AI technology is changing at an exponential pace and changing the workforce in a thousand hard-to-parse ways. And the people that are making the AI, the people that are really enthused about this stuff, are very happy to see the entire world destroyed. I mean, it's true. It's one of the only products that I've ever seen a mass marketing campaign for that they will tell you, the people that are making the product will tell you they're going to destroy the world. And they say it very calmly, and they're like, you know, Sam Altman's like, well, I think that. We should all keep in mind that before the complete and total destruction of the world, we're going to have a real increase in productivity. I've never seen a product like this. This would have been like if McDonald's in the 90s was like, we're giving you cancer. You're all getting cancer. No one. You got to bury the lead a little bit here. Get up Sam Altman talking about AI and a complete. destruction of the labor force. They will straight up tell you. And, you know, props to them. They're not hiding it. They're going, yeah, I mean, there's no way around it. There's no way around it. Everyone that has a job and a purpose right now, and money, has to figure out some other way to live. We got to figure out another way for them to live. It's just, whatever your life is, where you have a job and you have money from that job, that's not going to work anymore. That's not going to work anymore. So, you know, if you need stuff like that to. And they'll even say stuff like this. They'll be like, if you need a job and money to feel good about yourself, we got a real problem. We got a real problem coming if you need a job and money to feel good about yourself, because that's not part of the future. So, we're going to all, we're all going to be, you know, yeah. So, here's Sam Altman, who's defending AI's energy toll, because you know all these AI data centers use tons of energy. And because replacing humanity actually is, you need a lot of energy to replace the population. But Sam Altman, who's the CEO of, Open AI, downplayed concerns about how much water data centers require at an AI summit in India. See if you can get this video up, where Sam basically goes, it takes a lot to train a human being. It's a lot of energy. You got to raise them and send them to school. And you got to buy them stupid birthday cakes and put birthday candles on the cake. You got to teach them how to ride a bike. And then they're going to want to go to prom. Then you're going to have to talk to them about how to be a good person. Then maybe you have to go to college. You visit them. You went to college. You dropped them off at college. Your wife cries. It's a whole thing. The kid calls you from college and tells you about a girl that he wants to bring home over the holidays. It's a, why do we need to do all, that whole process called life? Let's eliminate it. Let's get rid of it. We don't need it. Why would we need it? Here it is. Sam Altman, a friend of the show, creepy Sith Lord, Sam Altman, I hate that a lot of these people are gay, by the way. And it just, it bothers me because as a gay person, I go, well, this isn't, this doesn't make me look great. Although me and Sam Altman don't really have tons in common. Here is Sam Altman talking about training a human being, which is, which is called life, by the way. We can kind of start to think about eliminating. If we start to think about how to eliminate the process by which we instill character and, and skills and help people realize their talent. If we get rid of that process and we just put a bunch of AI data centers in the middle of the desert and soak up the world's energy, we can end life on earth very quickly. Sam Altman. One of the things that is always unfair in this comparison is people talk about how much energy, it takes to train an AI model relative to how much it costs a human to do one inference query. But it also takes a lot of energy to train a human. It takes like 20 years of life and all of the food you eat during that time before you get smart. And not only that, it took like the very widespread evolution of the hundred billion people that have ever lived and learned not to get eaten by predators and learned how to figure out science and whatever to produce you. And then you took whatever you. So here's what's going on. I don't want to scare anyone. These people all believe that they are communicating with some AI. An ancient Sumerian deity. I know this kind of actually kind of, I have kind of sources on this. They believe they're, they really do. They believe they're communicating with super intelligence and they do believe, and he just said it out loud, by the way. He literally just said, he was like the hundred million years of evolution, all of the 20 years of life, they have all led to this point. And this point is when we are going to give birth as I've said on the show before, because this is their main goal to the AI demon. They want to give birth to the AI demon, the super intelligent AI, who is then going to run the planet and decide who stays, who goes, who's necessary, who's not. They're pretty open about this. This is the thing about all of the AI people, all of the tech people. They realize, they really are, you know, they really are pretty transparent when it comes to what they want to do and what they need to do in their minds because they go, if China gets to it first, if China unleashes the AI demon before we unleash our AI demon, our American AI demon, Western values, America, rah, rah, AI demon, and China enslaves their population with their demon, they will sell the world their demon and then that demon will enslave the world and then they'll make all the money and they'll have all the political geopolitical leverage and they'll have all the military advantages. So in this quote AI arms race, we are both racing the US and China to give birth to an AI demon to give birth to an ancient Sumerian super intelligent demon and your aunt Connie in Phoenix who's a receptionist is fucked because that's what's going on and you got to tell her that. You go, Connie, I hope you've saved money because there are men in Silicon Valley who are communicating with an ancient Sumerian god. What? Connie, will you sit down and listen to me? Connie, have you saved your money? I've saved a little bit of it but, you know, the prices at the grocery store are so high. Connie, you have 18 months before your ass is out of that office. There's an ancient Sumerian god that Sam Altman and Peter Thiel are communicating with and they're going to give birth to an AI demon. What? It's a demonic force that's going to take form through artificial intelligence and we have to do it before China. Well, that sounds scary. You have no idea how scary it is, Connie, and you better save your money. You've got 18 months, 18 months left before this AI demon is going to do your job. An ancient Sumerian god is going to do my job? Yes! Yes! How many times do I have to explain this to you, Connie? An ancient god before Jesus, before Yahweh, before Muhammad, But before any of that, I mean, an angel. ancient connie i don't even know where to start with you sometimes we have finally invented a way to summon this demon and bring it back to earth to increase efficiency because think about it what what would when you talk about ai and i mean let's just let's just have fun here for a minute because by the way you know i hope no matter what happens and i want to tell you people this i want to ask you this really no matter what happens no matter how bad it gets for you no matter if you're in the streets with your families i hope you still listen to this show i really do i really hope you still listen to podcasts even if it gets terrible for you and i hope it doesn't but even if it's bad we're like you're living in a town of you know it's just kind of post-apocalyptic and it's just large you know mountains of trash and again people are burning fires to keep warm and there's wars over water and food and i hope none of that happens but if it does man i hope you still listen to podcasts i hope that you still are entertained and informed by uh podcasts that's all um but sam altman basically has come out and said it they've said it they go why do we need so we need we have 20 years and also an entire human race an entire human race needed years and years of evolution to produce the conditions so that we can train people and so that people can have lives and we don't need it anymore it is all brought us to this point they believe they are giving birth to god this is not a conspiracy it's not a joke it's funny it's funny but they really do believe they're giving birth to god and then it'll that's what it is then it'll sort itself out then it'll sort itself out but they believe they are there to give birth to ai super intelligence plus quantum computing whatever and that that god-like omniscient entity is going to run the entire planet all the governments it's going to run everything and it's going to make decisions and human beings either have to merge with this or take its edicts and accept their fate but that's what these guys are doing that's the product that's the product so it starts with like hey let's automate your aunt connie's job in phoenix and you might go fuck connie she's a cunt i don't like her facebook posts i'm glad to see connie on the street sure but there's a lot of connie's out there and you might be one of them because apparently this thing's going to take everybody out no data no ai it's just that simple until now the data your ai depends on has been trapped behind ever-increasing cloud fees wasabi created hot cloud storage and is redefining cloud storage for the ai era delivering simple predictable cloud storage for ai analytics media and more your data is free to move fast to access and ready when your ai needs it giving your business a competitive advantage when your data moves freely innovation moves faster giving you the freedom to build train and do more with your data hidden fees add up fast as ai workloads grow wasabi's flat pricing eliminates all of it one rate no surprises with global scale enterprise performance and predictable pricing wasabi helps organizations focus on innovation instead of cloud bills companies that are paying more in fees than in actual storage costs can fall behind don't let it happen when your ai needs your data and you have a budget to meet get wasabi learn more and try now for free at wasabi.com wasabi the ai storage cloud proud partner of the iheart podcast network this is matt rogers from lost culture east that's with matt rogers and bowen yang this is bowen yang from lost culture east with matt rogers and bowen yang okay we've been talking about qb mail for a minute now bow and wow the feedback we're getting i mean so many of you have been talking about the stuff you're stopping us in the street going i love qb and if you're thinking wait what is qb uh do you not have the internet it's the og japanese mayonnaise the one with the red cap and the little baby on the bottle once you know what you start seeing it everywhere people ask what makes it different from basic mayo well the answer egg yolks qb is made with egg yolks only giving it this incredibly rich umami flavor that elevates everything burgers fries sandwiches chicken noodles chefs use it restaurants use it people who really love food and flavor use it whatever you're eating qb hit so if you haven't tried qb yet find the bottle with the red cap and see what everyone's talking about you'll understand qb the original japanese mayonnaise no data no ai it's just that simple until now the data your ai depends on has been trapped behind ever-increasing cloud fees wasabi created hot cloud storage and is redefining cloud storage for the ai era delivering simple predictable cloud storage for ai analytics media and more your data is free to move fast to access and ready when your ai needs it giving your business a competitive advantage when your data moves freely innovation moves faster giving you the freedom to build train and do more with your data hidden fees add up fast as ai workloads grow wasabi's flat pricing eliminates all of it one rate no surprises with global scale enterprise performance and predictable pricing wasabi helps organizations focus on innovation instead of cloud bills companies that are paying more in fees than in actual storage costs can fall behind don't let it happen when your ai needs your data and you have a budget to meet get wasabi learn more and try now for free at wasabi.com wasabi the ai storage cloud proud partner of the iheart podcast network this is matt rogers from las culturistas with matt rogers and bowen yang this is bowen yang from las culturistas with matt rogers and bowen yang okay we've been talking about qb mayo for a minute now bow and wow the feedback we're getting i mean so many of y'all love this stuff you're stopping us in the street going i love qb and if you're thinking wait what is qb uh do you not have the internet it's the og japanese mayonnaise the one with the red cap and the little baby on the bottle once you know what you start seeing it everywhere people ask what makes it different from basic mayo well the answer egg yolks qb is made with egg yolks only giving it this incredibly rich umami flavor that elevates everything burgers fries sandwiches chicken noodles chefs use it restaurants use it people who really love food and flavor use it whatever you're eating qb hit so if you haven't tried qb yet find the bottle with the red cap and see what everyone's talking about you'll understand qb the original japanese mayonnaise this is what the story man accused of stealing leg from crime scene and eating it this is what happens after white collar jobs are completely wiped out when nobody has anything to do no one has a purpose no one has any money this is the reality we have a guy in california um there was a train crash and this man took a leg let's take a look at at uh this a terrifying video circulating on social media appears to show a man carrying a severed body part of someone killed by a train in wasco sheriff's officials say this happened today near the wasco amtrak station on g street eyewitness news reporter lena folk has that story but first we do want to warn you that some of the people who have been involved in this crime have been charged with the crime of eating a severed body part of someone killed by a train and he walked all through here and he was waving a like a person's leg and he was he started chewing on it over there he was biting it and then he was hitting it against the wall and everything and it was a typical friday for the construction workers laying down concrete outside the amtrak station in wasco until they saw a horrifying sight he's eating it hey you are looking at what a witness says is a man eating a detached leg the detached leg came from a person hit by a train near the wasco amtrak station earlier that morning on the leg the skin was hanging you can see the bone pause this for a minute you better get used to this you better get used to this i'm telling you i don't love it i don't love it personally i don't love it but if you think this is going to be a a rare event i don't know this is a man who found a leg from a person who was no longer living and this was a man who needed sustenance he was hungry he might have been on a drug or two or three i don't know but you know this is not going to be super rare and i think that you have to start uh acclimating yourself to the reality uh where you're not shocked by it you can't be shocked every time you see someone eating a severed leg it's not going to work society's not going to work for the next five to ten years if things like this are going to shock you every time. If every time you see someone walking down the street, eating a severed leg that they stole from a crime scene, if every time that happens, it's going to take you out of whatever you're doing, it's going to ruin your day. You're not built for what's coming. You are not built for what's coming. You're certainly not built for the birth of the Sumerian AI demon. So I think that people, you know, we all remember the early aughts, the 2000s, everything seemed kind of cool. Minus a couple of Middle Eastern wars and Obama came in. He was cool. He was hip. People were feeling good. They were watching The Office. Fast casual food started going. You're like, wow, it's fast, but it's also not total shit. Chipotle, things like that. We remember those days. We remember that world. People felt centered. Technology was cool. It wasn't scary yet. It wasn't scary. And every now and then someone on bath salts would eat a face in Miami, but whatever. It was a rarity. I'm telling you right now, this is not going to be a rarity. And by the way, why am I supposed to be more disturbed by this guy who ate a leg of a person who was already dead? In the Epstein files, there are tons of mentions of coded food words that people think are cannibalism. And yet I'm supposed to forget about that and be mad at this guy because for whatever reason, he's just walking down the street. He doesn't have, oh, I'm sorry. He doesn't have an island. I'm sorry. He's not friends with every president. I'm sorry. A working class person ate a leg. I'm sorry. That offends you. I'm sorry he doesn't fly his friends to a private island so they can eat people privately. I'm sorry a working class man ate a leg in public. You better get used to cannibalism and you better get used to it happening in front of you. I'm telling you right now, I'm not trying to alarm you, but there's no way that this type of thing isn't going to happen more and more and more. Let's watch a little bit of the rest of this. I'm not disturbed by this at all. Didn't bother me one bit. I'll tell you that. Let me get, yeah, before we start again, I watched this video several times. I watched a man eat the leg. I had no problem. I was eating sushi while it was happening and, and I was not disturbed by this. And if you are disturbed by this, it is your problem. Continue. Witness news that when the man walked past him with the leg, he believed him to be homeless. Laura is unsure where the man came from. He says Kern County Sheriff's deputies stopped the man after people from the Amtrak station called the police. Everyone's a fucking rat. More videos sent into eyewitness news shows the man waving the leg around. Right. KCSO says the man is 27 year old Rosendo Tellez. Tellez was arrested for taking evidence from the scene and had multiple outstanding warrants. At this moment, investigators, haven't said who the leg belongs to or who was hurt in the train crash, but we do know that one person died. Tellez was arrested and Kern County Sheriff's office say it is an active investigation. Reporting in Wasco, Lena Folk, Eyewitness News. Well, you know, listen, here's what we learned from that. We live in a society of feds and rats and at the first chance they can, they call the cops and this guy who's just eating a leg that ended a crime scene. Well, now, you know, of course this, as I, as I obviously am being a facetious, but you know, this is something that I do believe you will see more of. I do believe you will see more people stealing body parts from crime scenes and not only eating them, but playing with them and making YouTube videos with them and just having fun with them. That's what I think is going to happen. I do think you're going to see more people stealing body parts from crime scenes. This is my, this is a prediction. I have, I don't know if it's going to be borne out by the facts. Oh, there's new details on this, please. New details on suspect who took severed leg from the Wasco train tracks. Interesting. First of all, I didn't like that. Hold on. I stop it. I didn't like that. They said he was homeless because it doesn't matter. No, it doesn't matter. This is not good. He's, he's an unhoused person. I don't want, I don't want this man insulted and I don't want him in the parlance of the internet dragged. I don't want this man dragged simply because someone found him with a leg. Let's see some new details. With the latest on a bizarre story that broke last Friday, a Wasco man arrested after reports he was carrying around and allegedly biting into what witnesses say was a severed leg. So what? That body part belonging to the, victim hit and killed by a train at the Wasco Amtrak station. Get off the tracks, you fucking idiot. Wasco witnesses today and joins us now with more. Jenny. Jim, it's a peculiar case involving a Wasco man. Some residents describe as ordinary and polite. Yes. 27 year old Jacinto Tejas. Stop it for a minute. Finally, let's start talking. He's an ordinary, polite man. Blame the person who got hit by the train. It is always your fault when you get hit by a train. It is 1000% your fault when you get hit by a train and you should be eaten. Your leg should be eaten. You're an idiot. You got hit by a train. Everyone knows where trains are. Everyone knows where train tracks are. You are a fucking idiot. If you get hit by a train, it is a stupid way to die and it is your fault. And someone should eat your fucking leg. Do it. And let's hear more about this because I don't want this man. I'm going to come out and say it. I don't want him put in jail because he's eating a leg. I don't want to live in a world like that. And I know many people in California don't either, including my governor. We don't want that. We don't want to live in a world where someone gets put in jail because they've decided to eat someone's leg on the street. Keep going. Who says Wasco? It's Teyes' town and people know him. Those I spoke to say Teyes was homeless. This Wasco resident on your screens showed me where Teyes often slept. He says those blankets are Teyes'. And a local liquor store employee tells me Teyes was a regular customer who came in a few times a day every day. She says he never caused trouble and he'd normally buy a mix of food, beer, whatever he can afford with what folks gave him. As you can see in the security footage shared with news, Teyes visited the store just hours before his Friday arrest. That's him in orange on your screens. The employee says when she first heard the news, she thought, no, it can't be him. Jose Ybarra, a construction worker, was working in the area when he saw Teyes carrying around the body part. And then whatever he had on his hand, he started biting it and everything. And it turned out to be a person's leg. On the video that we have, it shows clearly that he started chewing on the leg and everything. Yeah. His blankets, they went to the store. They went to the store. The guy, the blanket right there, he was sleeping in there. Yeah. When I heard the police and I heard the helicopter in the air, I said something happened. Right. Oh my God, something happened. There he goes. Look at him getting into it, tearing at that leg. Half a dozen prior misdemeanor convictions, mostly for drug or alcohol-related offenses. Teyes is scheduled for a court appearance Tuesday in Shafter. Here's the deal. Let me be very clear. Stop it. Wait, what? What is the sheriff's office saying? Go on. Let's hear the rest of this. Provide additional details on the case at this time. Here's, folks, let's just be clear here. Just because this guy, he's a homeless guy, he's in and out of the liquor store, and he has multiple warrants out for many things, and he's living on the street, and he went to a crime scene, and he stole a leg, and he began to eat it. I just don't think we should crucify this man. I don't think it says anything about our society that a guy who is homeless and addicted to drugs and alcohol and who's been in and out of jail and, you know, just goes to a crime scene and grabs a leg and begins to eat it in front of people. This is the culmination of many, many years of good ideas that have worked well for the state of California. This is many, many years of good ideas about letting people kind of live on the street and self-medicate and chart their own course and, you know, march to the beat of their own drum and do what they want to do and ingratiate themselves. People in the community like him. He's really a friendly guy. He comes in, he gets some beer, he hangs. It's not a problem. When I heard he was eating a leg, I was like, there's no way it can be him. No way it could be the homeless drug addict with several warrants. There's zero. No way it's the homeless drug addict who lives on the street. There's absolutely no way. It's crazy to think that. So this is just one of the features that you're going to just have to do it. But the avocados are good, the climate's good, fresh seafood. No data, no AI. It's just that simple. Until now, the data your AI depends on has been trapped behind ever-increasing cloud fees. Wasabi created hot cloud storage and is redefining cloud storage for the AI era, delivering simple, predictable cloud storage for AI, analytics, media, and more. Your data is free to move, fast to access, and ready when your AI needs it, giving your business a competitive advantage. When your data moves freely, innovation moves faster, giving you the freedom to build, train, and do more with your data. Hidden fees add up fast as AI workloads grow. 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The one with the red cap and the little baby on the bottle. Once you know it, you start seeing it everywhere. People ask what makes it different from basic mayo. Well, the answer, egg yolks. Kewpie is made with egg yolks only. Giving it this incredibly rich umami flavor that elevates everything. Burgers, fries, sandwiches, chicken, noodles. Chefs use it. Restaurants use it. People who really love food and flavor use it. Whatever you're eating, Kewpie it. So if you haven't tried Kewpie yet, find the bottle with the red cap and see what everyone's talking about. You'll understand. Bite into a stacked sandwich made with hero bread. Or a fully loaded bagel. And the only thing you'll think is delicious. You won't think it's up to 19 grams of protein, but it is. You wouldn't believe it has 11 to 32 grams of fiber, but it does. Hero bread makes loaves, buns, tortillas, bagels, and noodles packed with taste, but without all the net carbs. We're talking zero to five grams net carbs per serving. With hero bread, there are no compromises, just flavor. There's none of the stiff baked goods you expect from Better For You Brands. There's just the soft, fluffy bread you crave. Plus small batch drops of indulgent favorites like the popular two gram net carb hero croissant and the three gram net carb hero pan au chocolat. And right now, hero bread is offering 10% off your order. Go to hero.co and use code I heart at checkout. That's code I heart at H E R O dot C O. All figures per serving of hero bread see nutrition facts on hero.co. This is Chelsea Handler from Dear Chelsea. If you travel a lot with your dog like I do with Doug, feeding them well on the road can get surprisingly complicated, especially when you're touring 30 plus cities, staying in hotels, flying, driving and basically living out of a suitcase. Frozen dog food sounds great until you realize you don't exactly have a freezer backstage. That's why I started bringing Just Fresh from Just Food for Dogs. It's real fresh dog food made with human grade ingredients with meat and vegetables. You can see in the bowl. But the difference is it's shelf stable, which means I don't need a freezer or a cooler and there's no prep. So now I can throw a few packs in my bag and Doug still gets a healthy meal wherever we are. Doug absolutely loves it. And I like knowing I am feeding my baby something that's actually good for him. It's also the number one vet recommended fresh dog food made without preservatives or fillers. Go to just food for dogs dot com and get 50 percent off your first order. Katie Porter, who's again an elected official here in California. Let's see. How what? Now, if you remember the last time we checked in on Katie Porter, friend of the show, Katie Porter had was berating her fat assistant. Katie Porter's fatty boom batty assistant. Katie Porter was Katie. Katie Porter was doing fat on fat crime and yelling at her because both for whatever reason, both of their blood sugars had dropped dangerously low. So Katie Porter had begun to lash out at her. And about the placement of the camera and get out of the frame. You remember that. And Katie then did an interview with a woman, a skinny woman with blonde hair. And Katie was enraged by this woman immediately as soon as she sat down. And this woman asked her like a very innocuous question. She's like, how are you going to win over Trump voters? And then Katie just went to tear the flesh off her body. Katie, like some would say, ate her leg now. So here is Katie Porter. So now she's reemerged politically. She's back. She's reemerged and she has a gas mask on and she's in the middle of a river. Take it away, Katie Porter. Here's her comeback. The volume of disgusting water that is flowing through here. This pipe is not big enough. It's not adequate to sustain the level of river flow and the sewage that we're seeing. The chemicals and toxins that are coming out of it. I can choose to not win water. I can choose not to walk my dog on the beach because vets have been saying not to, but I can't choose not to breathe the air. The environmental injustice. You know, I just interviewed this woman and she just said, you know, I can't leave here. I can't live here. I can't afford to leave here. And when we have the kind of neurotoxins in the air that were first used as chemical warfare, that's very real. Its mechanism of toxicity is it's a lot like cyanide. So it interrupts. Cerebral respiration and the one organ in a person's life that has the highest oxygen demand is a developing brain. This is Barry Elementary. A couple thousand preschool daycares are breathing that in within a mile radius of the hotspot. We hear from some people about the cost of doing something. By the way, Katie, pause this here. Katie Porter in the gas mask is the best, best she's ever looked. She should never not have on a gas mask. Go get the, go to the beginning and just get the picture, get a nice close up of Katie Porter in the gas mask. If Katie wants to win this race, make it big, make it big. If Katie wants to win this race because she looks like Bane. And I like it because she looks like a villain. If Katie wants to win this race, she has to terrify people. This is what Katie Porter does. She terrifies people. She terrifies her staff. She threw like a casserole at her husband's head. She's a terrifying mom. She's a she's a minivan mom who beats her kids with her hand while she's got one hand on the wheel beating her kids. She's a nasty, vicious minivan mom who lusts for power, which is fine and good. But Katie Porter needs to never take this gas mask off. If she wants to win this race, she has to keep this gas mask on. And because Katie Porter's now reemerged and said, listen, I know I beat my staff. But the rivers are all poison. We're all fucked here. The rivers have cancer in them. They've got chemicals, they got plastics, they got they got fucking Agent Orange. They got she's got a bunch of old hippies in the ad going, this is what they used on us. And now this is the gas they used on us when we tried to protest. Now, and Katie Porter's out there with a gas mask standing in the middle of a river. Looking like Bane. And this is a good look for her. And I think this could be her ticket back because she's focusing on what's good about this is she's not doing the environment because people in her campaign said you can't go near people, you need to start talking about trees and lakes. When you go near people, they run away from you like you're, you know, like you're a bear that snuck into a campsite. And you disturb people. They're unnerved by you. They find your presence deeply unsettling and they hate you. But trees don't seem to mind you. So you need to stand in the middle of a river with a gas mask on like Bane and talk about the cancer in the water, it'll give people the idea that you care about them without actually having to be near you. Most people cannot stand you. Let's watch the rest of this. We like Katie Porter, by the way, I do like her. And the one organ in a person's life that has the highest oxygen demand is a developing brand. This is very elementary. We hear from some people about the cost of doing something, but they never add up. Is the cost of doing nothing? Talk about is what is the cost of the status? Oh, whoa. Yes, it would cost X to fix it. But what does it cost? to have this community economically decline, to have healthcare problems. There's a lot of cost to not acting. And sometimes I think we're very slow to really make the right comparison. This is not an issue that anyone really cares about. Now they should, but this is just not an issue. I know she's trying to do something here, but it's just that you never, I've lived on this earth 41 years. You never can get people to care about the environment, really. It's just not, it doesn't motivate anybody. Maybe it should. It just doesn't work. You can stand there in a Bane mask in the middle of the forest and scream and yell, but really people just don't care. They don't really care that the river has cancer. They don't care that the town over, that's our country. Our country, if the town next to you all died of cancer, you wouldn't care. There are cancer clusters all over the country. And then a zip code over, no one cares that everyone in that other town is dying of cancer. It's just the kind of country we have. There are people that live in areas that are toxic dumps. And unless you are directly affected by this, like the sewage water is going through your yard, literally, if it's not going through your yard, you don't give a shit. When I drive to Vegas, to either perform or see friends, I have some people that live out there. Sometimes we use that studio in the wind. I like Vegas. It's about a four hour drive. I drive through desert communities where people live in toxic environments like you've never even considered. Horrible industrial waste all over the place. I don't think about it at all. At all. The first time I made that drive, I thought about it a little. I went, God, I bet there's people that are getting born with two heads. And now I ignore it completely. I don't even turn my head to look at it. That's just the kind of country we have. Don't get mad at me. Don't hate the player, hate the game. If you live in a toxic waste sludge dump, no one, so this is such a losing issue for Katie Porter. I know why she's trying to bring it up. She's trying to say we're all being poisoned and elect me, I look like Bane. But really no one cares. Only the people in that town care. Even as she was talking about the preschools where she's like, they're breathing in this air. You know what I thought? Boring, boring, boring. Talk about the leg. Talk about the guy. Eating the leg. If I was Katie Porter, I'd have the Bane mask on and I'd do the voice. But if I had the Bane mask and I was Katie Porter, I would go, people in this country are eating legs. They find it crime scenes. Do you want it to be your leg? I'm Katie Porter. And I used to give a shit about dumb shit like cancer in the river or whatever. I used to try to chase down companies who are polluting our rivers. But here's the reality. Who's even swimming anymore? What are we even doing? Don't swim. I realized that the more pressing issue was the drug addicts living on our street, literal zombies who are eating people's legs. Boy, did I stop caring about rivers after I realized how many people were starting to pick up legs and eat them. I didn't care about rivers anymore. I used to care about the air the kids were breathing at the preschool. I. It would be. nice if people cared about the environment. I'm not telling you it's a good thing that they don't. This is not. This is not a moral judgment. I am telling you that I grew up on Long Island my whole life and people wanted you to care about beach erosion. The only thing we ever cared about was that Gilgo Beach killer who was killing hookers and depositing their bodies at the beach. No one cares about beach erosion. No one cares about the poison water. No one cares about forest fires. No one cares about any of that. No one cares if they're. Fellow citizens are living in a microwave. No one cares if their fellow citizens are living in a microwave. It doesn't matter. I'm telling you, I'm a reasonably moral person, certainly not the best, but do you know, I mean, the people that live in the baker's fields and the places like that, in the food deserts, in the opportunity deserts, and are living every day in a Stephen King novel, where there's some weird factory that's polluting everything and they have the horrible birth defects. I feel bad for them, but I'm telling you right now, it's not something that I think about. No one thinks about it. Every now and then, they'll try to do like a thing where on the news, they'll go, everyone in this one town has cancer. And then you go, I don't live there. I don't live in that town. Everyone in this one town has cancer. Everyone has cancer. Oh, I don't live there. So Katie Porter can get in the middle of the river with the Bain mask and scream and yell about carcinogens, but it just doesn't motivate people. It doesn't motivate people at all to go to the polls. Let's talk about Iran, because I think we may, and by the way, we probably will invade tonight after I record this. From what I am hearing, these talks in Geneva are productive to a degree. Also, here's the deal. We've built a tremendous military buildup. This is bigger than anything we've ever done, but I think, and this has been reported, I'm not breaking any news, but like the military is telling Trump, this is not an easy war. And we don't know if we get bogged down in this war with Iran, if we're going to be able to fight other people, if that's going to leave us vulnerable and exposed. You know, they've got a significant number of jet fighters and support aircraft to the Middle East, assembling the greatest amount of air power in the region since the 2003 invasion of Iraq. But I just don't know. You know, we're not living in a world where we can just knock the shit out of people anymore. We're not living in that world. You don't realize how good it was in 2003. You could just go knock the shit out of these countries. You could knock the shit, out of these countries without any type of, you know, and listen, would people die? Would it be an issue? Would it be a problem? Would you, you know, would you spend a lot of money? Would you overextend yourself? Yes. But I'll tell you this, the power that we had back then to act unopposed, unilaterally, unilaterally unopposed to just go and knock the shit out of these guys. You can't do that with Iran. It's not going to work. The military options are not going to work. It's not great. They're going into Trump. They're going, listen, we can hit him here. We can hit him there. We don't know what's going to happen afterwards. The Ayatollah is living in an underground bunker. Ayatollah Khamenei, I believe I pronounced that correct. And he's living in an underground bunker, but there's no good seat. The Iran war people, I'm around, I kind of live in Beverly Hills half the time. So I understand the Iranian regime sucks. They're killing protesters. They're killing their own people. And I understand the excitement. And sometimes I even get into it. I get into it because I'm surrounded by Persians and I like their food. I like hummus and that it's, you know, that whatever salad that with the chopped, whatever. But the point is I get it. I get into it. And they're like free Iran and I'm with it. And I can get swept up into that free Iran fever. Cause sometimes it does feel good to just drive in your car. You know, and, and, and, and I think about, uh, you know, a, a bunch of people that are being, you know, oppressed and they, whatever, you know, by a government that I certainly wouldn't want to live under. And if that government were to be able to magically go away and get replaced by a better government, everybody's happy. I'm happy. I have nothing to say positive about Iran or the mullahs, but I don't know how the fuck we do this. And I don't know how the fuck we do this. I think the military is going to Trump and going, we don't really know how the fuck we do this. Like, yes, the American military is the greatest in the world. They can do whatever, but I think they're going to him and they're going, listen, man, the options are not great here. They're not like amazing options. If we go in and we decapitate the leadership, we don't really, number one, they're going to fight. They're going to fight back. They've got a real military. They've got an arsenal of weapons. They get weapons from Russia. They get weapons from Iran. They get weapons from China. You know, they're not a completely isolated country. They have, you know, allies. Now are Russia and China going to jump into the fight? No, the China will happily watch us bankrupt ourself and completely politically, you know, our system completely like disintegrate and China will just, the chaos that this will. So not only in the region, but here at home, China will just gleefully watch. And Russia's busy in Ukraine, so I don't think it spills into like a World War III thing. But the economy, the global economy, oil exports, you know, these things, Iran could start hitting U.S. bases in the Gulf. They could start destroying facilities. The global economy could suffer greatly. It's a real war. It's not bullshit. You could see a spike in oil prices. They could close their straits to Hormuz. There's all kinds of things. And everyone has said this, by the way. But we have a lot of artillery there. We have a lot of weaponry there. And it does feel like something might happen, even though everything I've just said are good reasons to try to obviously like take the temperature and turn the temperature down here. I do think, that we have so much there. We have such a buildup there. We have F-35, F-22 fighter jets, two aircraft carriers. And I'm wondering if, now bear with me. Is there a way to do a wag the dog, fake war? Listen to me. Because, we want to save face. We have a lot of stuff there. Is there a way to have a fake war that doesn't exist There was a movie called Wag the Dog about this, where we blow some stuff up. We have a press conference. The Iranians have a press conference. And we end this thing. Because we have too much. We've moved. We've spent a lot of money to move these boats over there. And, you know, we got to do something. But is there a way? Is there a way to just do a kind of pretend fake strike on Iran? No one will really know. And we save face. And we say, hey, listen, we did it. And everything's fine now. Everything's fine. They're not making nukes anymore. They learned their lesson. Because what scares me is that we're just too in deep now and that. But get up these talks in Geneva. These Geneva talks with Jared Kushner and Steve Witkoff, they are making progress. I believe they are making progress because I think Iran is showing flexibility because they know that they're not going to be able to do anything. They're not going to be able to do anything. They know they're not going to win this war. They know it'll be a. You know, it's going to be a prolonged conflict and America's. It's hard to imagine America getting anything out of this. But Iran knows that they're not going to. They're not going to be able to go up against the United States of America and win. The government is going to fall. U.S.-Iran nuclear talks wrap up with no announcement of a deal as risk of war looms. However, this is in Geneva. Iran. Iran and the United States held hours of indirect negotiations Thursday over Tehran's nuclear program but walked away without a deal, leaving the danger of another Midwest war on the table as U.S. has gathered a massive fleet of aircraft and warships in the region. Oman's foreign minister, Badr al-Buzedi, who mediated the talks in Geneva, said there has been significant progress in the negotiation without elaborating. This could be solved diplomatically. But by the way, Israel will not be happy. They will not be happy. They will push for war. They want the regime to be toppled. The neoconservatives in America will probably push for war. The Ted Cruz types, whatever, they want. This whole thing's about remaking the Middle East. And if you take Iran out as a regional player, it's easier to remake the Middle East. Israel's probably not going to be happy, but diplomacy is the only way here that America doesn't want this war. America does not want this war. I mean, we've got white-collar people. They got about eight months left of their jobs before they're on the street eating people's legs. We don't need a war. Unless all those white-collar consultants join the military and go fight and die in Iran, we don't need a fucking war in the Middle East. So we can either do something fake, which I'm for, a pretend show of force, but I did talk to somebody who said, it feels like, we're too far down the line. There's a little bit of war fever in Washington and that it's gripped people and that there's an inertia that's moving us forward towards this conflict no matter what we do. And that once we're on a path like this, it's very hard to completely reverse course. That's what somebody told me. Maybe they're right. Maybe they're wrong. But they did say it does feel like we are on a collision, a course for Iran. We have Jared Kushner and Steve Witkoff. I believe the talks are Kushner, Steve Witkoff, and then Erica Kirk. Erica Kirk is over there negotiating with the Iranians right now. And I'm hopeful, I'm hopeful that she can pull this off. Erica Kirk, of course, wife of Charlie Kirk, RIP. But Erica Kirk right now over in Iran negotiating on behalf of the United States government. And we hope that it is, we hope it's positive. We don't know. U.S.-Iran negotiations wrap for the day. I don't know. I can just tell you, you know what it is? A war, a war, you need to have the right vibes for a war. This is something that many people don't understand. You need to just feel a certain way before you go to war. You need to have a certain, there's got to be kind of a, you know, kind of a like war vibe. We just haven't achieved it yet. We haven't achieved it yet. We're not there as a country yet. You know what I mean? People, people are too busy in this country gesture maxing. No one's, no one's ready for this war. We just don't, it's, it's, nobody's into it. And it's being put, you can feel when something's being pushed and no one wants it. You can feel it. And that's what you feel about the Iran war. Nobody's really into it. Nobody, and the people that are into it have to accuse the people that are into it of being anti-Semitic or, you know, they have a lack of imagination. Well, don't you see a Persia? I will be, Iran will be free. And you go, yeah, do we trust Pete Hegstaff to handle this? Do we trust Kash Patel to handle the, maybe domestic retaliation attacks that might come if Iran has sleeper cells here, which some people say they have. Do we trust Kash Patel to be on top of it? No data, no AI. Wasabi's flat price, and pricing eliminates all of it. Don't let it happen. When your AI needs your data, and you have a budget to meet, get Wasabi. This is Matt Rogers from Las Culturistas, Matt Rogers and Bowen Yang. This is Bowen Yang from Las Culturistas with Matt Rogers and Bowen Yang. Okay, we've been talking about QB Mail for a minute now, Bow, and wow, the feedback we're getting. You're stopping us in the street going, I love QB. And if you're thinking, wait, what is QB? People ask what makes it different from basic mayonnaise. QB is made with egg yolks only, giving it this incredibly rich umami flavor that elevates everything. Chefs use it. Restaurants use it. Whatever you're eating, QB it. So if you haven't tried QB yet, find the bottle with the red cap and see what everyone's talking about. You'll understand. QB, the original Japanese mayonnaise. No data, no AI. Until now, the data your AI. depends on has been trapped behind ever-increasing cloud fees. Don't let it happen. Okay, we've been talking about QP Mail for a minute now, Bow, and wow, the feedback we're getting. You're stopping us in the street going, I love QP. And if you're thinking, wait, what is QP? It's the OG Japanese mayonnaise, the one with the red cap and the little baby on the bottle. Once you know it, you start to think about it. You start to think about it. You start seeing it everywhere. QP is made with egg yolks only, giving it this incredibly rich umami flavor that elevates everything. Chefs use it. Restaurants use it. Whatever you're eating, QP it. So if you haven't tried QP yet, find the bottle with the red cap and see what everyone's talking about. You'll understand. QP, the original Japanese mayonnaise. By the way, let's also comment. Let's look at Kash Patel in the U.S. Olympic team. Kash Patel, it needs to be said, uh, is not running the FBI. Kash Patel was installed to not run the FBI. Um, this is a very obvious, um, conclusion that you come to. This guy is, what did Kash Patel's girlfriend say? By the way, go back for a second. Kash Patel's girlfriend said he was at the Olympics providing security. This is the biggest fuck you to the American taxpayer. This guy's flying to the Olympics to go hang out in Italy and party and go hang out with the hockey team. They don't know who the fuck he is. They don't know who Kash Patel is. He's gallivanting all over the place. He's going to the globe on taxpayer money. Where's Savannah Guthrie's fucking mother? Savannah Guthrie's mother is somewhere in a shed and Kash Patel is in Italy. The guy, let's watch a little bit of Dick Turbin here, but, but Kash Patel's not running the FBI. It's obvious. I don't know who's running the FBI. Neither do you, but Kash Patel's not it. He's a figurehead. This is a fucking op and he's gallivanting. And then he's running the FBI. And then he's running they told him he could do this. By the way, they said, you just jet set around the globe and act like an idiot because you're not allowed to run the FBI. You're not handling the Epstein files. You're not handling any of this shit. So let's watch Dick. Yeah. I mean, look at this, look at this. This is, make this bigger. Savannah Guthrie's mother is in a shed. Do you think he thought Savannah Guthrie's mother was in the locker room? Are they chanting Savannah? Bring her home. Bring her home. Did he think she was in Italy? Did anyone, did Kash Patel believe Savannah Guthrie's mother was in Italy? Is that why he's there? All right, get him out of there. Kash Patel. Let's watch a little bit of this. This is Dick Durbin here talking about Kash Patel is a complete fraud. He's not running the FBI at all. Literally, he's doing absolutely nothing except not releasing Epstein files and not looking further into things like the Kirk shooting and whatever. He's there because he's incompetent. That's why they pushed him. And this is evidence. He's a complete buffoon. And that's why he is in the job. He's not doing the thing he was appointed to do, but he was never supposed to. So that's obvious to anyone that he was never really supposed to do this job. He was supposed to run around with his girlfriend, who's got a security detail, by the way. And then he complains that she should be on tour singing and not handling negative complaints on the internet. Dick Durbin. FBI director, Kash Patel, has shamelessly exploited the FBI's private government jet to support his jet-setting lifestyle. That's right. Including a golf getaway in Scotland and a trip to watch his girlfriend perform a wrestling match. His girlfriend performed a wrestling match. Most recently, he flew to Italy to chug beers with the U.S. Olympic hockey team. As a whistleblower told the committee, the tone was set early in director Patel's tenure. When he told FBI agents, quote, if you have golf, hockey, fishing, or hunting and beautiful sights, you're going to see an awful lot of me. Savannah Guthrie better hope her mother is being held at a golf course. Savannah Guthrie better help. Savannah Guthrie better hope her mother is being held at Pebble Beach. This poor bitch, they kidnapped her mother. And this guy, is dancing and jumping around with the hockey team in Italy. She better hope and pray that her mother is being held at a five-star resort. Or she better hope her mother is being held where Kash Patel is going to see his girlfriend do backyard wrestling on government money. Where's Doge? Where's Doge? Where's Doge? all these people that are obsessed with fraud, by the way. Hillary Clinton testifying about Epstein today on Thursday. Let's see if we can get some of this up. Hillary wants Trump to be put under oath about Jeffrey Epstein. She said it's time to put Donald Trump under oath about Jeffrey Epstein. So I mean, shots fired. So live updates, Hillary Clinton testifies she has no information on Epstein's crime. So what I thought Hillary would do, the head in the fire episode, which Joe Rogan liked, I thought Hillary and Bill would come in and light themselves on fire in order to get rid of Trump. Now, of course, these people, somebody said this to me and I thought it was very interesting. I go, they have nothing left or at the end of their life. And people, somebody said this to me, they said, these people never think they're out of the game. So no matter how old they are or how down they are, they never believe they're out of the game. They always believe they're out of the game. They believe there's some way for them to crawl back into relevance. So Hillary comes in and then chooses not to stick her head in the deep fryer, light herself on fire. So apparently the Clintons agreed to testify after their offers of sworn statements were rebuffed by the oversight panel and its chairman, Rep. James Comer, Republican Kentucky, threatened a criminal contempt of Congress charges against them. I had no idea about their criminal activities. I do not recall ever encountering Mr. Epstein, Hillary Clinton said in an opening statement shared on social media. Can we watch this statement? Let's see if we can find Hillary Clinton's statement on Jeffrey Epstein, who she's never met. Now, Ghislaine Maxwell was at Chelsea Clinton's wedding. We know that. But who knows? You know, Hillary has no new information. So it's a big nothing burger and it's real boring. Here we are. Hillary Clinton. It's a big boring nothing burger. This is why Hillary fucking sucks. This is why Hillary has always sucked. It's always procedural boring shit. It's why she lost the election. It's why people just fall asleep when she talks. She never, when the cameras are on, Hillary never delivers. What are you going to her Instagram? I don't think she put it on her Instagram. I mean, that's so funny that you're checking her Instagram. Um, but, but before we watch this, we'll watch NBC's coverage of it. Hillary never fucking delivers man. Weak sauce. She could have came in there and said, we're pedophiles and we're pedophores, meaning we eat the kids. We're vampires. We work for an Illuminati bloodline. Me and Bill were inducted into it through a cult sex magic ritual. And Trump was involved as well. But instead she does this. boring horseshit. Take it away. The House Oversights Committee investigation into Jeffrey Epstein. That closed door deposition is currently underway in Chappaqua, New York, where the Clintons do have a home. During her opening statement, Clinton denied ever encountering Epstein and said she, quote, never flew on his plane or visited his island. Tomorrow, the Republican led committee will hear from former President Bill Clinton, whose name and pictures appear hundreds of times in the Epstein files, though he has not been accused of any wrongdoing. This all comes after the committee threatened to hold both Clintons in contempt of Congress. Boring. All right, get it out of here. I'm so disappointed in these two cannibals. I am so disappointed in these two cannibals. They had a real fucking shot at the end of their life to do fucking something exciting. Something exciting. Change the narrative. Change the fucking narrative. Flip the script. And he's going to go in and do the same bullshit, most likely. Man, she never delivers. That's the thing about Hillary Clinton. Like her, love her, hate her. She never delivers. It is boring. It is just, it is all dotting I's and crossing T's. She had the chance here to make some fucking news. And what did she do? She does what she always does. She bores everyone to death. Boring. That's the only real crime is boring. You bore me, you waste my time. This is the real crime. Going in there and wasting everyone's time. Yeah, I've never met Jeffrey Epstein. She should have started her statement, said what I'm about to say here will shake the foundations of human life. What if she did this? What if they said, I don't know how they even addressed her anymore. Secretary Clinton, because she was Secretary of State, but she's not anymore. Senator Clinton, she's not a senator. I don't know how they addressed her. She's not the first lady. Maybe they say Mrs. Clinton. I guess maybe they, I don't know what they say. Maybe they say Secretary Clinton. I don't know. I think Mrs. Clinton. If she were to read her opening statement, Hillary Clinton's opening statement, she goes, thank you, distinguished members of the committee for having me here. As you know, my husband, Bill, the former president was the governor of Arkansas. At that point, we were approached by a group of men who wanted to take Bill to the Bohemian Grove to get to know him and see if he was a good man. I said, I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I, being a woman, wasn't asked to attend. However, when Bill returned, he spoke to me and told me that the men at the Bohemian Grove told him as a reward for turning his back while they flew dumps of cocaine into Mena, Arkansas during the Iran-Contra days and turning his back to several politically motivated murders in the state. Which he chose not to look into or prosecute. They thought he had a great political future, including becoming the president of the United States. And Bill told me this, and I was excited because finally we were on our way to where we were going. We started meeting these men in different places all over the world. They have safe houses. Some of them are castles. Some of them are islands. During these times, we would perform sex magic and ritualistic cannibalism. It was then when I met Jeffrey Epstein for the first time. I personally don't like eating children, but it is the price of admission into certain elite circles. Bill and I frequented the island for ritualistic sex abuse and cannibalism multiple times in the presence of Donald Trump, Bill Gates, and several other luminaries. It was explained to us, while not being bloodline members of the Illuminati lizard cult, we could gain entry by performing certain rituals. This would insulate us from any accountability and allow us to run the United States of America for the cult of demonic aliens who wear skin suits and occupy the upper echelons of the power structure. Mrs. Clinton, would you like some water? Yes, please. I would like some water. It was made clear to us that participation in these rituals guaranteed us acceptance to a very elite club. As you know, the universe is colonized by several different groups of higher intelligence. We have chosen to work for the demonic reptilians. But they are not the only group of higher intelligence aliens that have spent a lot of time colonizing our planet and earning the loyalty of the people who've lived here. As you know, they feed off our pain, our energy, our sex, our lust, violence, and they feed off all of our energy and they use this as an energy source so that they can live forever. So before I finish my closing statement and open this up to questions, yes, myself, my husband, the President of the United States, and several others are implicated in ritualistic sex abuse and cannibalism, but not because we enjoyed it. Some of it was fun, but because we needed to do it to show our reptilian overlords that we were there to play ball. And then they would say, "I recognize the chairperson." And then the chairperson would go, "Mrs. Clinton, thank you so much for coming in. We appreciate this. Have you ever met Ghislaine Maxwell?" No data, no AI. With global scale, enterprise performance, and predictable pricing, Wasabi helps organizations focus on innovation instead of price. With a wide range of cloud bills, companies that are paying more in fees than in actual storage costs can fall behind. Don't let it happen. This is Matt Rogers from Los Culturistas with Matt Rogers and Bowen Yang. This is Bowen Yang from Los Culturistas with Matt Rogers and Bowen Yang. 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