154: 4 Pieces of Gum with Are You Garbage? | Soder Podcast | EP 149

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I'm on the road this Friday and Saturday, Hartford, Funnybone, 18th and 19th. Four shows, all tickets available at DanSutter.com. And then October 2nd and 3rd, I'm going to be coming to Albuquerque, New Mexico. Cusadas, doing four shows there. DanSutter.com for those tickets as well. I'll see you on the road. I'm really excited. The hour's coming together. Having a hell of a time. Enjoy the podcast. Hope you're having a good week. That's all I got. Hope you're doing good. So much. I didn't know you were cool. Sorry, I blazed so much Kron. Dude, blazing Kron was like such a ninth grade. Yeah, you blazed Kron. You guys can't. Sorry, you guys can't handle the fact that I blazed so much Kron. We'll call it kind butt background. Yeah, KB, dude. You got KBs, dude. You got some KB. So wait, you're saying dropping it. I was like, oh, but we dropped. What's it called? American Garbage. American Garbage on YouTube right now. How's that for a motherfucking promo? In your face. So you guys are dropping it. It's out now. It's out now. That's it. Thanks a lot, everybody. We'll be back at you. Kevin H. Foley. You guys know him. You love him. Um, no, I was, what were you, you're dropping it during an Eagles game. No, it's towards the end. You know, you just, you started to try to like, you're like, oh, we'll just do it. We got a guy parachuting in at halftime. He's on the fan. That would be sick. If you guys dropped in on the link. Yeah. Well, like unauthorized, obviously. Yeah, of course. You go, we need Shane to grease some palms. He couldn't. So we're just going. We ran and got a run. We're going rogue. We're starting at Citizen Bank. And then we're going to fan into the link. Getting tackled by Big Dom. That'd be sick. And then as we're getting tackled. Get off of you, grease ball. But I've always wanted to meet you. You seem cooler. Yeah. I like that he goes on press now. Yeah. He's like personality. Yeah. What's going to happen? He's. Here's, here's my thing about Big Dom that I think is really smart. Sandwich shop. Sandwich shop. For sure. That'll sell out forever. Yes. Car dealership. If he wants it. He wants it. Dom's used cars. Sure. We'll do numbers. Slightly used. Dom's slightly. Don's just like new cars. Just like new. Pre-owned. Just new. Just drove. Off the lot. Barely used. They drove off the lot. Drove him right back on. He. I think it's smart that he's burrowing himself in the organization in case Sirianni gets fired. He's in there. Oh yeah. No one's letting Dom go. No. What's he going to go to fucking Minnesota? He's going to stick out like a sore thumb. That's what I mean. He can't operate in Minnesota. Arizona Cardinals. Yeah. What would be the worst city for Dom to ever be? Who'd be like the witness of relocation program. Trying to get a plate of Ziti over at St. Elmo's. Oh. Indianapolis. That's really funny. That's really funny. Yeah. That's really funny. There's him just in like, like Chicago. He'd be fine. He'd be all right. Any major city. He can sneak in. Come on to New York. Green Bay. Dom in Green Bay. Freeze my prick off. Oh. But I do. Man, how happy are you guys that football's back? Yes. Jazz. College was great. College was awesome. Yeah, just getting things started. It's pretty much professional now too. Yeah, it is. It's all evened out now. The way they get NIL money. Come on. It's crazy. I love this. It's also funny because the SEC, you go, oh, so you were just cheating. Yeah. Because they're like, well, in the SEC, football just means more. We love it more. And it goes, well, how come now you guys can't win national championships that everyone's paying fairly? Very suspicious. Well, I do declare. Oh, well, the Yankees from the North have some sort of potion they give these. You'd have to ask your Mayor Mondami about that. Oh, your little socialist, your little communist mayor. I think about it. I think about him at night when I'm on my porch. If it wasn't for Bernie Sanders, we'd still be winning championships. Oh, but I think I see a correlation. Yeah, that would be fun to grow up like that, though. Yeah. Because you see SEC girls when they show like the SEC games, you go. What? Yeah. What? Why didn't you go there? I was too. I don't know. Are they good schools? I don't know. Who gives a shit? I don't know. Yeah. My buddy's sister went to Alabama, and she's like a couple of years old. She's a couple of years younger than us. And then we were like, it was like when Instagram hit, and we were just like, she'd be like at a party. And I'm like, this looks like you're at a swimsuit fucking event. It's crazy. And I went to Arizona, and everyone's like, oh, Arizona. Arizona's good, though. It's not bad. They were in the sports. Was it Playboy? Playboy's time party at school. That's Arizona State. Oh. And Arizona could party, because there's a lot of coke at Arizona. It's Arizona. The state of Arizona has a lot of cocaine in there. Yeah. Interesting. Arizona State had hotter, dumber. Dumber women. Arizona's got- Now we're talking. Arizona's got- Big Dom with it, right? Oh, my God. So did Sammy the Bull Gravano. That's where he went. He went to- That's where a lot of people went. I heard he pledged teak. Yeah. They go, I think this guy- You girls try this jungle juice. Yeah. It makes my mouth red. He goes, oh, it's red as I made that gabon from the families when I fucking, when I did them at Spark Steakhouse. My name is Levinson. You have me misunderstood. With somebody else. That is so funny. Him at a fucking ASU party. He's got a pledge. He's like, hey, I don't know. These older brothers are being kind of mean. I don't know if they know. I'll turn on these sons of bitches. I'm your new equipment manager, coach. How you doing? I'm Sammy the Bull Gravano. You know what would look really nice on these boys? Pinky rings over their receiver gloves. Something with a little class. Now, I understand the blacks. They love jewelry as much as the Italians. That's what I was talking. You got these cornerbacks. They're all black. Can I ask you this? I noticed something on the clock. I don't know. Are you doing Sammy the Bull? No. You were still kind of in them. Can I ask you something, Dan Soda, my best friend? Is that your real name? I go, are we Sammy? Are we Sammy? I didn't know where we were. Where are we in this? I'm sorry. We're lost. That's like what it's like hanging out with Robin Williams, probably. You go, are you riffing with me? Are we just being old? Hey, man, just fucking order, will you? We're starving. Oh, jelly on the sandwich. Oh, jelly. Oh, jelly's shrinking like a jelly. Fat man, he goes, dude, you're holding up the line. Today, all right. Rob. I think I'll have a hot dog. Does that. I noticed something on the coffee table out there. Yeah. He got nervous. He got real nervous. I thought he was going to bring up the fact that I was real. I thought you were going to call me gay for reading the book Dracula. No. That's hot, dude. I will now. It is gay. Got Twilight out there. I'm working my way through this series. Jordan Alvins. Yeah. Yeah. What's that all about? Katie. Really? I love them. Love them. I love them. My little. My little crunchy lady, dude. That's my little. Can't keep them in stock. That's my little squirrel queen, dude. Is that right? Wow. She nibbles on them. That is. Is she Greek? No. She's Italian and Irish. Wow. And she's just walking through that bag. Yeah. Shout out to her. They are. You like them? I'm okay with them. Here's the thing. I think my. The crunch is so heavy. You got to get through them. You got to. You need a tube of Sensodyne after you go through a bag of those things. It's a tough chill. It's really. Dude. That's exactly my fucking thing. Yeah, they are. That's how I feel. Yes. I. The crunch is too. The impact. It's a lot. And then when you break them up, it's like you're crushing an Anderson window and doors smacked in your mouth. It's like bulletproof glass, but they're great. When she opened the bag, I had to like angry eat him to get through the handful I got. I was like, fuck you. Cash. They're great. That's a very classy sign of a very classy lady. I like. Well, it's funny. It's classy ladies. I think put them in little dishes. You put them in the little stockings. She's chewing them. I'm like, she's like, she's in the bullpen. Yeah. She goes, what is it? Bottom of six. She's half drunk. She goes, runners are in the corners. God damn. This guy's giving up everything. She spits the almonds out. She just goes for the crunch. This sucks it clean. And I go, that's why I'm marrying her right there. I'll do that with a blow pop. If I have like three or four blow pops, I'll get down to the gum. It's a crazy number of blow pops though. To leave the gum is almost crazy. No, but that's three or four. Who has three or four blow pops? No, but then I'll, because I like to crunch and I'll put them aside and then I'll put them, go for the gum and get four pieces of gum in my mouth at the same time. Okay. So you're a four piece of gum in the mouth. I love a four piece of gum. I love how that's what, that's the craziest part of that story to you. No, I was actually buying more of that. I think it's crazy to you. That's insane to me. I think you crunch and leave it is weird. You set it aside. That's almost like serial killer behavior. When you're cooking, you know, it's like a drug. I'm not done yet. I'm going to make you wait for me to finish you. Now watch me kill your friends. Ah, crunch. Sour apple is going to get one. Take that, watermelon. But I, she always freaks out because. she loves gum and so sometimes i'll buy gum but i chew like i crush it three or four pieces at a minimum that's the man's way right yes i don't know that and it was always i was thinking about this the other day because i was pop i was like four pieces of gum at a time in a car just especially i'm like i got the whole family in the car i'm like i'm in full demo yeah but that and uh multiple slices of pizza as a young kid was always reserved for a dad like to me it was like adults adults are minimum two slices kids you try a slice do you want a second slice but i remember being like when you start pulling that no crust bullshit serve me two slices yeah and you got to eat your crust if you want to move to the next slice that's why you're not getting through yeah but you're right the multiple gum can i tell you that was dad shit the way you guys are making me feel so more sane scene for the amount of just call me we'll do this all day yeah i chew gum four at a time crush them always and then and i get rid of them quicker too i go re-up i got a i can have a pack here's the thing it's a jaw feel strong it's not for the gum then it's for the gum in 20 minutes because the one piece in 20 minutes okay that's like revives everything it's disintegrating no but i'm just saying it shrinks down you lose it oh see what i'm doing is going like three okay then i toss it oh you're freshening it up and i toss it up and then they all they all piggyback you want to hear something real gross yeah if you put that in a glass of water and pop that gum back in your mouth it refreshes it completely i love the science i it's always had the opposite effect i have the science of it i love the way your mind works because i'm absolutely going to do that you put it jd hand me my bubble gum in my water i need my refreshing water it's like dentures yeah right back and then but then it runs out faster too of course on the second run it almost yeah that's what i'm saying i never get the legs don't hold that's like a boxer's been knocked out yeah it's gonna happen again he's going right back down a little cte gum but uh the special is out now on youtube on our youtube channel do you guys want to do the podcast now for seven years six years yeah yeah 2021 or 2020 2020 yeah two weeks before the pandemic we started that's crazy free dude it only feels like two huge losers as we were of like just struggling trying to figure it out so many failed projects of like oh we're doing short series we'll do this we'll do a little youtube channel do this podcast the play we did in london 17 years writing the music for the west end did not appreciate it devastating those critics are garbage um whoa that's how we think of it what say that again in your bio are you garbage he goes these these critics are garbage and they go but are you what are you are we all what was that kevin um it was just this thing we were like it was like we started it and i remember we were like i think we banked like two or three episodes and then we were walking out i think it was with i want to say it was like jared freeze like so what do you think about this whole uh wearing a mask flu type thing they got going on and i'm like get out of here i had no idea it'll be done in a week and then because living in new york specifically was always like there's ebola and you're like something you were worried about like once every two years is this gonna hit honestly i've seen more panic for that um that cruise virus yeah i've seen them freak out more than that than when yeah oh yeah for sure yeah but you guys did it and it's awesome but thank you but at that moment i'm like oh dude we're we're the like this is fate saying we're never going to be successful like the universe is stepping in and going nah guys so that leads me into exactly the question i wanted to ask where is there a moment that now you guys have done so well and people love you so much that you have to like do garbage stuff where you go like i'm not really like that anymore you know like a little bit but i got i don't know i got up i got a above ground i got like one of those blow up above ground pools for my backyard it was like a hundred two hundred bucks or whatever uh and like i said it's a lopsided it turned green a couple of times it was like and i like sent a picture to my boys i'm like and i was so stoked i like filled it up i'm like i'm fucking getting in this pool tonight there was a heat wave i'm like this is sick and i sent it to like my group chat of like my boys from like outside of comedy and they were like dude you genuinely still live this every day like yeah oh they like it yeah they're like this is you're such a dirtbag yeah i was wondering if you guys are like the rappers that still go back to the hood and it's like i'm still selling dime bags that's what i mean is they got some money on the street you're such a dirtbag you're red man crossing the wires on cribs where you go that's how you ring my doorbell i got a dollar box yeah i know you're asking like are we different people like you know did i want to blow all my money on drugs no i did it for the show did i want to go through a public messy divorce lose my home and end up living in the basement no i didn't want to do that it's for the show it's all it's all it's all do you live on the podcast set i live on the podcast set right no i live in the bedroom okay but i'm right in the middle of show business yeah living with ian yeah i'm down is it like you're in a firehouse of just like it's pretty fun downstairs be like we got one we got a four alarm fire there's a lot of ghostbusters stuff around it's heavy ghostbusters yeah the cats are fantastic that's fun i'm aunt henry yeah yeah he's daddy it's a lot of fun it actually is it's the first time i've lived with somebody where they wanted me there yeah i put it that way yeah he likes having me around thank god crazy he likes about your personal life what does that say about your personal life what does that say about your personality you're 50 and you're finally like yeah somebody can tolerate me right not bad a possibly mentally ill friend that i do very well around possibly huge astral possibly he is i love ian he's the best ian is always out of a cannon is there ever like do you ever see like um slow mo ian like we don't see each other that much because he's on the road you know we're traveling bebopping back and forth great you know what's funny is i thought about you and uh i because i got back last week and i was like i'm gonna be like i'm gonna be like i'm gonna be like i'm gonna last night and he got back last night i felt like i was like we're like vecchione and soda it was the best a little less funny but we're like just as even funnier we that's all what we always loved about it was people are like you live with a grown man you go not really we don't ever see each other because a lot of times what would happen is the weekends i would be off he would be on the road and the weekends he'd be off i'd be on the road so it's just you had your own apartment yeah and it was always like you kind of you get excited oh it's all you can link up yeah oh sunday's coming and i'd like to go to your apartment and i'd be like oh sunday's coming and i'd like to go to your like when do you land this this football game we did the exact same thing last night yeah and you go do you want to eat pizza we should eat and like vecchione you know he eats like batman he only has like vegetables and stuff that'll help him fight crime but carrots good for your eyes you can spot a guy a million miles away sometimes they can blend into the dark now with carrots but he'll uh but sundays i'd be like we're gonna get uh let's let go we're gonna get a grandma slice and he'll be like let's do it and you that was always awesome so that's what i've made we linked we link up and we walked to the we walked to the deli get a gatorade chew the fat about the weekend what happened this what happened this shit yeah a lot of shit being talked over there staring at you baldy i'm sure i was on the receiving no never never pretty bad yeah you see there's a real quiet walk over here i'm the a block on the uh see that's what he thinks i sing his praises you know what you don't want to be in my house last night he goes ian talk shit the cats were running their fucking mouths i said you were a good guy me and ian are defending you these cats are meowing about how big of a bitch you are yeah i always wondered like because it is how big of a bitch are you no how like do we when you have a podcast based on like having shitty tastes it's well like this is uh you know we've it's money doesn't change it if anything money exasperates it sure case in point you can make a bunch of money and end up living in ian's basement can't like i could you know i could get a real pool but i'm like no this was 200 bucks and it's like it's out of the i don't have to worry about it and it's a mind frame yeah yeah yeah it's in you it's in you i maybe my kid will be a little better but it's going to be in them i also love that about your podcast is finding out how much people have that in them it's in every yeah you're talking to people that are successful and they go like i still do trash yeah yeah i was talking about eating burger king on stavi's podcast and people were dming me being like i knew you're still a piece of shit oh yeah it's in you go i'll i'll go eat rest stop food yeah i i seek it out yeah i don't think food what do i get the king chicken sandwich whopper junior old school oval one yeah all right gentlemen long one such a such a this is such a funny on running ongoing bit i saw i'm gonna ask you no i know it's just i mean that would just talk about the the premise of i don't know why but burger king comes up he's a big burger king guy we've talked about on the show all i mean so much yeah so much but then on this like last podcast run we've done like 10 000 pod and i'm like before the podcast run started he goes i got this new theory on burger king and it's a theory he's been pushing for five years and it's a great theory i'm on board with the theory but he keeps pitching it to me on air and i have to go ah yeah you know i have to like yes end i'm like yeah i think i haven't heard this before the country's the coolest when burger king and pepsi are at the or or in the forefront of pop culture you can look back throughout history but then one of the producers did and was like poked a lot on some show we were on i don't know this is a by the way let me let me establish for this and i don't mean to overstep this isn't a number theory based on feelings yes oh no for sure which we corrected them because i have when burger king and pepsi are having moments the pop in pop culture he's saying the vibes yeah we're doing okay yeah michael jackson pepsi pepsi burger king was huge that's a win for you guys your scale's a little upside i'm sorry all that stuff yeah charts were flooded with amazing songs Yeah. Some kids had to lay on their swords and by swords, you know what I mean? But I think there's something to this. 100%. I've been a Burger King guy that's been forced into a life of McDonald's. And I enjoy McDonald's. I love Mickey D's. But I love getting a Burger King. And people are very adamant that I'm wrong about that. Well, Burger King has done it to themselves now. It's not as good as it has been. And I really think if I could get the CEO in a room, I could straighten this guy out a little bit. You could borrow some money off him. But if someone works in any way for Burger King. I've been saying this for a month. And can you get this clip? Because I'm going to tell you right now. I think corporations, specifically in entertainment and in food and beverage, are spinning right now. This is, damn, dude. I think they're spinning. This is fucking Economist Soda just checked in. What sector are you guys currently heavily invested in? I'm telling you right now because they keep going to influencers. They keep going to influencers, right? And when a company turns it around, it's always because they took a fan that loved it. Regular guy. A regular guy. And they bring them in. Let them get cooking. Give them some real feedback. Yeah. Because if you bring Foley in and he starts fucking changing stuff up on Burger King, those fries go back to being just as good as McDonald's. You keep your hamburger sloppy. Lose the crispy jalapenos and the fried onions. What are we doing? Get out of here. What are you doing? Take my idea. He is to Columbus, Ohio for a couple of weeks. Shout out to test city and see what the focus group says. See what the kids start saying. I would honestly put your knowledge. I'd put my money on your knowledge that you could correct the ship. Thank you. I go let him drive for a little bit. What do you got to lose Burger King? Because right now your insurance paid up. You're going to bang that thing up a little bit. Great, though, because if you risk it, what are they called? Stress test for this thing? We're having a stress test. Get it in there. All new menu. Learn it today. Let's go. What's one of the most popular things in appetizers at casual dining restaurants these days that everyone's talking about? Two things. The smash burger. Sure. And the slider sliders are big. What's the original slider? Pimp. Pimp. You're done. All right. Burger buddies. Remember the burger buddies in the little box? Why are we doing burger buddies? You're focused on the Texas barbecue whopper with jalapenos. Get the fuck out of here with that shit. Where's the king at? Where's the king? He was in NFL commercials. He was all over the place. He was popping up like Michael Myers. He was great. That was 20 years ago. You need to redo him. We got through an unnecessary war because of the king. He got us through Iraq. Very true. He was up in every commercial. Thank you for his service, obviously. Yeah, he was. Shout out to the king. Honestly, thank you for serving democracy. Thank you for- For the good people of this country. Thank you. I want to thank the king for serving democracy. They had him on all the bases over there in Iraq, too. Did they? Yeah. Keep our boys fighting. Gotta keep them fed. McDonald's just feels like an old rich guy that doesn't care. They're almost admitting that they're there for the real estate. Their hearts aren't in it. You know what I mean? The most embarrassing thing McDonald's has done in the last six months is last summer they had this gold sauce, which was phenomenal. I don't know if you caught any wind from it. From the Olympics. It was unbelievable. I never put that together. All the times we've talked about it. Is that what it was from? Seriously? Yeah, no, either have we. That's the Summer Olympics. You know what their new sauce is now? What? You ready? You ready? You ready? Or was that this summer? That was this summer of the Olympics. Yeah, no, this was last summer. They had a gold sauce. It was good on everything. You put it on chicken, beef, it didn't matter. I don't know. It was like a. Hell, it's in your boots, you boy. It's all around us. They told us. You doing land, man? Hell, it's in the boots you're walking in right now. It's on your shirt, your mustache, your hair, your fat son of a bitch. It was like a Chick-fil-A sauce. That would be the best way I could describe it. You know what they did this summer? You know what was the big effort? The big effort over at McDonald's? Threw me out. Caesar. Get out of here. Okay. Caesar's been around forever. Caesar is the hot new dipping sauce. They're trying to dress up a snack wrap with fucking Caesar? Because also. What? This is what happened with the pizza game, Papa John's, before they were dropping N-bombs. Sure. Allegedly. No, it's on. It's on. No, they got that shit recorded. No, I know. We don't have the internet. The garlic sauce. Sure. Then everyone else started doing it. And then they tried to change it up, and it's not see-through anymore. Now it's like this weird thing. Cloudy. Almost like a Caesar. It's separated. Yeah, it's strange. No, I want it where it was like see-through, and you're like, oh, damn, this is some hot. Oh, man, that garlic sauce was fucking great. More butter-based or whatever it was. But again, they got away from it, because they get greedy. They're cutting corners. This episode is sponsored by BetterHelp. Hey, you know me. I talk about therapy. I don't shove it in your face. I don't make it. I'm just letting you know. If your brain feels like it's running hot, maybe go talk to somebody. It really does help, because you talk to somebody, and then they go, have you ever thought of this? And you go, no, I didn't think of that. And then all of a sudden, you have a solution for a problem that maybe has been hurting your brain. Try BetterHelp. BetterHelp will help you find a therapist who really gets you. Its focus is on emotional well-being with thousands of therapists, millions of members in over hundreds of countries. It's over 100 countries, but it's just fun to say. I don't even think there are 200 countries. Are there? This is one of those things where you go, Dan, why are you talking? You're dumb. And I'll discuss this in therapy next week. But if you need therapy, I think you should try it out. Check out BetterHelp. They can connect you to a therapist that you can do online or in person. If you're not vibing with that, I used Vibe in my 40s. That makes me want to go to therapy even more. I'm just saying, you need to go talk to somebody. BetterHelp is there to connect you with someone. And if you sign up, you get 10% off at BetterHelp.com slash Soder. That's BetterHelp, H-E-L-P.com slash Soder. Go try it. Factor meals, baby. It's turning into fall and winter. 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Maybe you need a protein shake for your gains. 90% of users agree that factor meals will help them live a healthier life so you can feel confident that you're doing something good for yourself with every meal. Let's eat real. Head to factormeals.com. Use the code SOTER50OFF to get 50% off and one free breakfast item per box for one year while supplies last until 10-31-26. That's code SOTER50OFF at factormeals.com. SOTER50OFF at factormeals.com. See website for more details. I have a question about this. I've never been a big fast food guy. Do you think who, from like the surrogates, service level, is there not love it? Like, is it prepared? Is there anybody consistently preparing it poorly? Where you get it and you're like, this. McDonald's. McDonald's is preparing it poorly. Oh, I got a Mickey D's on 21st over in a story that'll blow your mind. That's a small sample. I'm talking like, you know. I'm talking about consistent, because what I do is. Like, who's really dropping the ball? McDonald's. Really? McDonald's is across the board. Across the board, because what they're doing now is. You might have rose-colored. You love you some McDonald's. That McDonald's, by my old opinion, you find a good one, it makes it all okay. But that's managers. That's, you know, that's top-down. That's an individual store, because now what they're doing with a lot of McDonald's is you can't even order through a person. You got to go to a screen. I'm not doing that. And then they just come out and give you a number, and there's no. AI? No. That's AI. That's a data center. I'm not going to a data center to get a fucking Big Mac. I'm telling you that right now. Sir, this isn't a data center. This is just a touchscreen menu. You're using it out of water. You're throwing a scene. Sir, I can't tell you this enough. This is not a data center. Dude, I ever tell you that Wawa switched to the touchscreens probably late 90s. It was like revolutionary. I've only known Wawa for the touchscreen. Dude, my buddy's dad, we saw him in there. He's a fucking hothead, temper. And he's been going to Wawa for 50 years, and all of a sudden, he can't just go get a shorty. He's got to fucking type it in on a touchscreen. Like, at that. I got a spell to get lunch. He was so confused and so angry, and they were like, trying to help him. They were like, well, sir, we can't take your order. It's got to go through this. We need the ticket. And dude, at one point, we were in the chip aisle. He just breaks down and goes, I'm not a dumb man! And we were like, what the fuck? Dude, he just snapped and left. This thing makes me feel stupid! But there also is, like, there's something nice about ordering. Hey, let me get a number one. It's the best. Well, Wawa used to be a place you'd go, you would get your, like, you'd get it in the deli. Like, let me get a half a pound of American slice. We'd get our lunch meats there. - Yeah. it's a fucking vending machine. I don't like it when they go like, don't talk to us anymore. We're just bots back. Yeah, don't talk to us anymore. And you go, I fucking worry about that human experience. Well, Wawa does have that. You go to the coffee, and they have somebody just working the coffee pots, keeping them filled. And they'll hit you with, hey, how you doing? Did you catch the game? I never want to get buried. Everything's broken. No one's saying hi to each other anymore. No one's even just. Especially in New York. New York. I'm living in this building. No one says hello to me. I can imagine. You just go like, hey, how you doing? And they go. And then you go, no, I don't ever want to say hi to anybody ever in here. I sure did that the other day. The second I go, hey, how are you? And they go. Because for us, that's so like, I'm putting myself out of here, man. And you're gonna. Yeah. We're locked in a box for 20 floors. I'll fucking kill you. How do you do at the airport if somebody is late for their flight and they got to go through the line? Like, excuse me, I'm sorry. You let them go? No, if they say, hey, thanks, I'm so sorry. That's great. Yeah? I do that all the time. I'm nice as shit to everybody. When we were leaving LA, I was. It was. For Labor Day, it was jammed up and the traffic was jammed up and I was running late for the plane. First time in my life, I'm late for a plane, I had to do that. And some of these people were such. This one guy, I almost stopped, turned around and punched him in his fucking face. He was such a dick about it. What'd he say? Nothing. That was the problem. I was like, hey, man, I'm so sorry. I'm late. It's my first time. And he's like. I was like, yeah? Yeah, people that get up at you like that. I've had to do it. I give them moments of inspiration. I go, hey, go get her. And sometimes they go, what? Oh, that's great. That's good. Or I go, you're gonna get that promotion. She already left me. I'm just late for the plane. Or I go, okay, oh, God. Don't kill yourself. But I do that because I do that when I'm walking the dog in New York, other dogs. There's horrible dog owners in New York. No, I have to be. No, I thought you were gonna say horrible dog. I have a reactive dog and I have to be a very. I am probably one of the most one of the best dog owners. And you have to. If you. I'm walking around with a fucking bazooka. He's a pit bull. I gotta fucking. So, like, I'm seeing three. I'm eating my carrots. I'm three, four blocks ahead. You got a gun named at everybody. You go, it's not loaded. Hey, it's not loaded. Safety's on. Not friendly. Not friendly. You're just walking through. You go, safety is on. And then every now and then I just let one pop out. Just to let you know. This is my neighbor. Let everybody scatter. And I got eight more. No, but I'll get on the other side of cars. I'm. So, there is no incident. My problem isn't with that. My problem is with people who don't pay attention to their dog or looking at their phone while they walk their dog. And a lot of times it's the small dogs that just start yipping. I mean, you're going through it now that you have. It's like they start yipping and sometimes they'll lurch or whatever. And I got Myrtle and she's fine. She's like the sweetest dog in the world. She never has a problem with any dogs. But the new thing I do instead of getting mad about it is I'll go, what did you call them, Myrtle? Like, as they do that, I go. That's fun. I go, damn, what did you say? Like that. And how many people don't have a sense of humor about it? Yeah. How many people go like, like that? And you're like, it's your dog. Your dog's being the problem because I want to be a dickhead. I want to be like fucking. Or if it's a tiny dog, I go, a little Napoleon complex. That's great. A little Napoleon. People probably don't like it. They don't like that. But it's a fun way. I found out that talking shit and just being funny instead of being a dick goes a lot farther. When I say to my dog as we're walking, if we're coming up on another. It's dogs. His size are bigger. So we're crossing that. Yeah. He doesn't go after a smaller dog. He wants. He's in it for the fight. All right. Valiant. So as we're walking up, I hit him with the training day. I go, you want to go home or you want to go to jail? How the fuck are you playing this? You want to go home or do you want to go to jail? It's up to you. Yeah. These tiny dogs that want to bark and myrtle, I always go, damn, wrong side of the bed. I'll just say something like that. I'll go, oh, he's so tiny, but he's so ferocious. And the owners are never like, yeah, occasionally there. But that's what bums me out. You'd expect more of them to be like. I'll also hit. If I see their dogs also a little fucking kooky patooky and I got my guy too and we're staying on it or they're hitting them with the treats or whatever we're doing to keep them locked in, as we get past, I go, good job, everybody. Great. I go, good job, everybody. All four of them. Great line. Live to fight another day. Great. Yeah. Great line. Sometimes they like it. Sometimes they don't. But they're trying. We're trying out here. Yeah. What do you do when you see them? You could be a muzzle dog. My dog's borderline muzzle dog. Really? He could be. This happened to Katie and I. We took Myrtle to this. There's like a nice park by Chelsea Piers. And we went and this dog was like chasing another dog and it was like. I don't want to say a pit. It was like a mix. Short little fat dog but it was a mutt. And it was running and it ran under our legs on the bench and it came back out and it bit my jean. Jesus. It bit the bottom of my jean where it was baggy so it just. It just got jeaned. And I went, whoa, whoa, whoa. And it was this really old woman in one of those walkers that you could sit down on. And she's sitting there and she was like, come here. Come here. Just screaming at the dog. She's like, you don't do that. And she put a muzzle on it. And I go, damn, that's a muzzle dog. And you just get it non-muzzled? And you were just letting it go raw dog? Yeah, that's wild. It was just raw dog in the park? Good thing I had my skinny jeans on. Dude, thank God I was wearing big and baggy. Thank God I was taking it back to 98 because it just got jeaned. But what's funny is the muzzle dog started coming back around and Katie was like, you forgave this dog in your head so fast that the muzzle dog was pushing its head against me. And I go, it's nuzzling against me. And then Katie noticed it was trying to get its head off. And the whole time I go, look, it's nuzzling me. And she goes, I love you. You're so sweet. That dog's trying to get its mask off so it can bite you again. It's almost got that screw out. Dude, it really did. It was almost out. And that's when I was like, oh shit, oh. Shit. He's got a dime. He's unscrewing the screw. He's like, yeah, buddy, I really like you. I'm going to fuck you shit up. Yeah, I like those jeans. Yeah, that's good. And that was when I was like, oh, I don't know shit. I really was like, oh, this guy feels bad. He bit me earlier. And he's like, yeah, yeah, I feel better. I didn't get any flesh. I'm sorry, Dan. I didn't mean to bite you. Come here, you son of a bitch. God, I'm going to kill you this time and I'm not going to let go. What do you think this old woman's going to do? Shit. Shut up, you old bag. I'm working over here. Which, perfect segue to the thing I wanted to talk to you two about. Have you read the news story about this man that this Friday is going to fight a chimpanzee? Oh, I saw a tweet. Is that real? Yeah, I looked it up. What country is this in? Cole Johnson. It's an American. He's an American man. I think he's in Minnesota. Cole Johnson. His name's Cole Johnson. He's an amateur mixed martial art mixed martial artist. I don't know. What are they doing to the chimpanzee? And is the chimpanzee a trained fighter? Ooh. He's got three years of jiu-jitsu. Yeah, he's at Tiger Schultz. I think he's. He's an instructor. He's fighting out of the jungle. It's a mixed martial art. Cole Johnson. It's going to. Now, is it a random chimpanzee or do they have. I think they have one. They got them already picked? But I don't know his name. It's always. It's got to be something funny, too. Like, it's like Bobo or something. Mr. Marbles. I've got to fight Honk Honk. September 11th. Crazy you're doing it on September 11th. Oh, it's for the America. I'm never going to forget that. I'll tell you that much. Cole Johnson's never going to forget that time. He got his ball sack ripped off by a chimpanzee. With ease, dude. When his nose gets taken from him like an uncle. Is he wearing any sort of. He put a mask on him or something. Yeah, according to Bloody Elbow, the match is reportedly. It's at the website. It's like the. You know, the fine reporting at Bloody Elbow. Obviously, the authority on chimpanzee. He fights. He said in a video he believed he could beat a chimpanzee. That's crazy. He later discussed the proposed fight during an interview. During the interview, they asked him about whether he was going to fight the chimpanzee and he said yes and then asked whether the fight with the chimpanzee was actually going to fight the animal. He said that it was originally made as a joke and then someone showed up and was like, how about $500,000? And he's like, I'll do it for that. So he's garbage. I think the chimpanzee is probably holding out for someone bigger. He goes. Because people are like, we can get you Tyson. I think we can get you Tyson. One of the Paul brothers. This thing will fly over. Also, it's funny the chimp arguing for A side of a B side split. He goes, I'm the chimp. People aren't excited that I'm fighting Cole Johnson. People are excited he's fighting me. This guy's a dime a dozen. That he's fighting Mr. Tuxedo. Yeah. And I'm going to fucking rip his. I'm going to rip his fingers off like jumbo shrimp. How big can chimps get? Dude. It doesn't matter. No, I know. It still rips you apart. But they're like shorter, right? In my head. I don't know. So then the money guy dried up and then Johnson said he then told everyone that he could not fight the chimpanzee anymore but then received another offer for even more money and he said it's on. He said there will be tranquilizers present. Tranquil what? Tranquilizers. Okay. And he said. He's going to punch him? He said he wants to go against a wild animal to test himself. That's crazy. He's going to get killed. Yeah. He wants to test how fast he can get killed. How fast he can bleed out. So I read two articles on this and one of the articles reacted where they reached out to animal rights activists and they were like, obviously we're against this. Wait, you guys want to. Actually, you guys want to. You guys want a statement from us? Yeah. Yeah, we're against it. Do you think there's any chance? No, where do you guys fall on this? Fighting an animal. That doesn't. But then the other thing is they like reached out to scientists that work with chimpanzees and they were like, hey, I can't stress how bad of an idea this is. Horrible. Like all the scientists in the second, the first article I read. Just picture them taking their. Wait, what? Yeah. They almost. Their quotes read like that. Yeah. They were like, hey, hey, hey. So how they socialize, this is just a bad idea. Yeah. they're like they're actually polite towards humans until they perceive something as a threat i don't know just like whatever dude just imagine like the anxiety that chimpanzee's gonna start once it starts like calculating well this is weird these there's a lot of people here he's going he starts going what the fuck is going on all right they don't have a weird uh i'm not wearing a weird sort of costume yeah i'm naked these chicks in bikinis with these big cards in their hands what are these is that food are they showing me food yeah he just starts fucking short circuiting yeah let him know white what the hell's going on in here then i have a guy come up to you like this and he goes he's gonna take one or two and be like wait oh he's a mexican fighter sir i don't want to fight you please step away he's absolutely he's looking at his corner what's this guy's fucking deal i'll take one to give two that's all i've given dude but the second that it's on it's gonna be like yeah dude yeah and that guy's gonna go that was actually really and also i think like it's not i don't think this guy understands that this isn't like um the the monkey's not gonna stop yeah no he's probably not a technical fighter he's not he's not a surgeon he's not angling for an arm bar he's going to stick his hand in your mouth and rip your face off it's crazy well it's gonna hurt really bad i just thought of that like say he does try it out like say cody what's his name john jones yeah jones try it out just whatever they say they're grappling he goes i'm gonna arm bar him like that chimp doesn't know that rip his cock off over his chimp doesn't know like oh man like what am i gonna do he's gonna go like your fucking eyeballs he's gonna give like an over the pants cock rip that's like the chimp's gonna be tapping out now you got me yeah yeah like it's like good form yeah by the way cody john's just gonna go take it and then start hitting him with the other one he's like and then probably go after the crowd you're fucked oh man there might be a i might have to are they doing can we go they're streaming i'd want to watch that on stream right now is i there i might have to record a separate video as a warning to this podcast because this could go so bad that it's just me shaving with a haircut and i go hey everybody we had a great time with kevin and foley on the podcast unfortunately that man did die yeah and we said a lot of funny things not knowing that he was gonna die but we did it we did it we did it yeah i don't know i want to watch i want to see let me see if we can there's no way that happens there's no way that's going to be legally allowed to proceed in the they're gonna have to do it like on a boat in international i was just thinking of that ringer style go old school jt barnum i mean this is all within the last 20 yahoo sports hmm pay-per-view fight this is on yahoo sports this isn't bloody elbow and no knock on their journalism no i think there's a lot of good 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keys and he just starts but he's dressed up in the suit and he's teeing off on these two little filipino guys it's so good dude it's like america you ever see the in shape female mma fighter versus a big fat guy that's not in shape oh i think so yeah yeah yeah that kind of stuff's all we gotta get into that man pay-per-view has been set up for an mma fighter challenging and chimpanzee to the fight well he's challenging him it's called his name's his name's wavy i thought that was the chimp's name because it says wavy v chimp which does sound like a court case that's what they're going to use to never allow this again yeah this is a what a quote do i think i could beat a chimp in a fight yeah i do but i never thought i was going to do it then all of a sudden all these people are in my dms like we'll give you five hundred thousand dollars so i took a guy's offer to fight this chimpanzee in a country i can't speak about oh wow canada that's saudi money is really something huh listen guys riad's not working for a season two quick pivot man versus chimp forget bitter butter listen i love him just as next he'll be back next year his new stuff here is great it's great but what i want to see chimp versus man i imagine they're doing that kind of stuff in in weird countries all the time yeah if you're like like in north korea that's probably a tuesday night for kim jong-un right yeah did you you go to bangkok you could find one of these you can like uh you can like shoot the the like the the cows vietnam they used to have a joke about yeah but that was real that's one of my i know that's one of my yeah but they fix the sites it was in bahrain i think they fix the site so you don't hit it they're gonna waste a cow you talk that's big money over there yeah but it's like a couple hundred u.s dollars bargetti's old joke was like 15 cow for that bargetti's joke was like 15 cow they count on you missing bargetti goes imagine if you're good at it like you take out the cow you go i do this a lot at home one x user pointed out a chimp doesn't know to not use its teeth oh yeah we're gonna put a mouthpiece in a chimp uh this is gonna be bad that's awesome i'm into that i can't find out where we can watch it it just says it's gonna be on pay-per-view but it's not giving us a yeah that might be if that's like a i don't think that's going to be on like the regular internet you can't google that link you don't think it's dark i don't know if it's dark but it's not light it's the gray web what if he wins he just knocks out a chip yeah that's also weird like what are the consequences of this there's no way it only gets scientifically listen i'm against calci i'm against uh polymarket i'm against all those prediction apps that heavy on the chip business on this this is the only time in my life where i thought about downloading that app where i go i just it's just i don't see this kimbo's slice maybe in his prime me i'm like a hot day in a backyard a chimp doesn't know to like oh i got fucking rocked in the face like and then he's just gonna keep charging it's just like well now i have to kill you i don't think there's an mma fighter on the earth that could do it no you know who i think could do it someone that works at the zoo someone that's better someone that's probably had a couple of fucking run-ins a couple of dust-ups with one that had to get out of the cage quick that's exactly what i mean yeah he goes i used to work down at the pittsburgh zoo yeah shit got a little there's some guy with three fingers going listen what you're gonna want to do is get the fuck out of there if i see him in his corner oh no this guy could have a shot you know i brought in the right he's got the safari hat on you're like all right that guy knows what the fuck he's me and the guy knows what the fuck he's talking about the chimp are drinking after work somebody says something stupid we start talking politics i've been here before listen i didn't know the guy was a libertarian i know i'm missing my ear i'm over i'm vando in it because this is the best thing i know i'm missing my ear i'm over vando in it because this is the best thing i know i'm over vando in it because this is the best thing i know i'm over This guy got touchy about it. healthcare yeah i make one bamboo joke all of a sudden he's taking a swat at me huh you stand up and fight me like a man yeah i threatened to dress as the man in the yellow hat this guy goes right for my nose yeah a noseless fingerless dude cornering him i go you would be sick if he brought out the lady from connecticut that got her face ripped off god that's his miss elizabeth that's it that's it that's what that that one calls brutal oh dude remember she was on oprah my friend apart right she uh she was on oprah yeah when she got a new face she's like that looked great and that monkey was like damn i'm sorry i was in a bad place no more girl it's all love hey man sometimes i'm gonna i'm gonna lose my he's quit drinking since then i do like have her come out with you make it a spectacle dude if you're gonna do this don't this isn't a spectacle enough already yeah it's happening in a country you can't talk about it yeah i know which definitely means an asian country there's no way i mean there's probably a lot of countries that would play ball with this kazakhstan yeah one of the stands turkmenistan yeah one of the ones where they don't let women drive they go man fight monkey oldest time it's tuesday oh just time i bet you i bet i bet that guy's smoking his thing for sure when he says that i don't think anyone that handles that chip doesn't rip heaters i don't think there's anyone that handles that chip that isn't in a squat most of their day imagine if it's a fight if it's a fighting chimp well what is that though i don't know they fight them do they fight them maybe somewhere if it's a fighting chimp brother is the chimp picked out do we know yeah oh that's a good cause or they're just going whoever's got up on the wrong side of the fence or whatever i don't know they're just going whoever's fucking got up on the wrong side of the bed today i don't know i poked a couple of the stick this one seemed angriest because you're right also you can't watch tape on your opponent i kind of want to see him in his enclosure you're better off with a chimp in captivity than just going out and grabbing a chimp from the wild and bringing him in fresh yeah he'll be pissed i don't know he'll be pissed but honestly just to argue against yours devil's advocate the bright lights and the you don't think a chip that guy's like the bullets start flying feeding the chimpanzee and he goes i know his neck his ivy i know what makes these pussies you know like i've already i see what makes them skittish and that's what i'm going for so i'm looking if there's any where to watch i'm going to type that in where to watch uh semi side note my cousin he's got to be written all over it my cousin is uh he's a carpenter in philadelphia union carpenter philadelphia and he's doing toughest of the trades boxing matches where it's like the pipe fitters fight the electricians the electric and he's like it's like this i don't think it's sanctioned by any means he's never boxed and like i'm like dude i'm in your corner is we're fucking getting you a gold are you garbage robe this is so fucking you did when is it that you got a couple this guy got a couple of white claws in him and convinced him to do it yeah i was all fucked up we were down a short down a wildwood and uh your cousin tough yeah and he's a big fucking he's a big fucking carpenter he's not like he's not a very experienced fighter he doesn't have a lot of fights he's he and you know not even like street fights and he's going in with someone who's like also not a boxer like they they pair you it's like you know they pair you up because he's not sending them to like you know some fucking dominican from north philly who's been fucking shadow boxing his whole life a buddy of mine that i grew up with that was very tough i went and won one of those tough fights and i was like oh my god i'm not going to be a tough man competitions jesus he was like a us like he got a lot of fights like to the point that he got sent to like a military school came back filled with muscle instead of fat big problem and then kept fighting one time came over to my house after he knocked an older man out in a 7-11 parking lot he was driving his mom's minivan and a guy was driving home for i've told the story before it was coming home and this guy started shit with him he's 16 and he just pulled over and dropped an adult and then came to my house to smoke weed it was like i just beat up a man and i was like holy shit but i just started knight rider so you gotta hold it i think that's fun i'm in on that oh yeah yeah yeah i'm all all the way in board i used to go to um but he's my chimpanzee a little bit in this i'm like you can do it but i used to go to fdny versus nyp i love that that the idea that's always been so cool to me but you know what they do fdny got worked because nypd brought in the co's from riker they counted them as nypd so they're ringers those guys just beat the shit it was just like it was like this bulldog looking italian guy from brooklyn from like ladder 28 watch my fat little guy he's like hey i'm a fucking hey i'm a fire chief i got this guy and then i got a bag in my basement giant black dude that worked at rikers for the last seven years breaking up yeah and he just got got in the ring and just teed off on these guys to i was with wyatt we went and watched it and both of us were like starting to laugh by the fifth fight we're like oh they just fucking it was a ringer yeah i love that that's so the idea of that's always been so cool to me and by the way the crowd's into it we'll go yeah let's go next time it happens it's always at the garden let's go they do it at the madison square garden theater i love that it's very fun it's very fun to heckle it's very fun to yell you know a cab all caps all cops are bastards but if you're sitting on the fdny side they go yeah you know right thanks for being the real heroes yeah you guys or i'll go on the nypd and be like thin fucking blue line that's a 515 thank you for your service gentlemen thank you for your service i always think of calling quinn's joker he goes hey you know the black teenagers are talking like cops and the cops are talking like black teenagers they're like yo yo yo homeboy what's going on he goes no no no that's a sergeant he ain't gonna get out of the car for a five that's a 519 sergeant get out of the car for that one i always think of that but this chimp i really i'm gonna reach out to both of you i'm in hit me up guys i found if you find the link did they say what it is i can't find it but i will spend the rest of this week i have nothing that's my commitment to you i promise you i'm traveling to portland it's all i'm gonna do on the flight find out it's important now that i have social media off my phone all i'm doing is just you're off off my phone yeah it's off your phone yeah yeah i take it off i i download it in the morning to post whoa can you try that brick or you know the our new guy luke is on the brick and he swears by it let me tell you about the brick it works for a week yeah and then you you brick the it just locks your it locks your apps it's a thing that you have with it that if you don't have this brick thing by you you can't look at your social media you leave it at the house you lock your apps and then if you go you're out all day you can use your phone you just can't unlock instagram and so to me that was always like nah it's too i just need to delete it i need to make it so i understand i need to make it so inconvenient to look at that i only do it when i'm at home and i need to like if i'm posted or like if i'm like if he'll be like hey someone wants to collaborate on a clip i'll be like let me download it and look at the clip and then go like cool i'll collaborate with it yeah but i like it just is better and so now i'm just like reading these random ass news stories about chimps this is where you had this yeah but now i'm way better for my mental health sure way better for my mental health because i'm just like i actually generally kind of want to see this i think it's animal cruelty i think it's fucked up but listen if it's gonna happen what am i not gonna watch it's gonna be horrible i don't give a shit who got new faces i'm gonna watch this guy get ripped to shreds by a gorilla who sold out the charlotte comedy zone six shows yeah you go that's so much tickets instead of me i'm feeling like that chimp when i'm on fucking social media like take it off and i go all right this will be fucking cool yeah but yeah i am excited to watch that and and unless someone dies in which case obviously he's gonna if they don't stop it he's gonna get killed he's gonna lose something for sure yeah yeah which like i kind of i want that to happen something that's not going to be able to be stitched up and something's coming off it's gonna take him it's gonna take multiple incisions to put it back together he's gonna look he's gonna look great yeah take a picture of and he's like i think they showed a picture of music a good looking kid not no more shape you go brother there's no i don't know i don't know i don't know i just don't see the plus side to any of this because you win a grand 500 grand yeah that's a that's a pretty big upside yeah you're right you know what you're if you're willing to go oh i'm gonna fight this chimpanzee the 500 grand is yeah you're that's generational change side of that you can't really talk about it no why because if they go if he's buying like a nissan ultima and they go oh you're paying cash how'd you get this cash he goes so iphone iphone sounds like cobra commander oh you go oh i watch his teeth touch on the side of his mouth it's all he's gonna have the one string dude that's gonna be fucking gross i'm sorry i keep how much money would it take for you guys to each fight a chimpanzee there's a lot of people that are going to fight a chimpanzee there's not enough but if there is you know you can go to a billion brother yeah probably i mean like i'm never good at these games because i'm just i'm so like absolute in my head does he have gloves on The chimp might have gloves on so he can't disfigure them. And might have a face mask so he can't bite them. Then I'm in. Okay, fuck Burger King. Get in touch with H. Foley about this monkey fight. Reach out to Foley. That's crazy. He single-handedly made it. I got my hair up. In real time, I'm watching it going. That's a guy going. That's a guy really weighing how much money he needs. He's going to get out of Ian's basement. If you put gloves on him and a lacrosse helmet. That's so funny. Quick, come down to the park. Foley's fighting a chimp to get out of Ian's basement. It's super unsanctioned. It's just real quick, like a meet-up. If we're acting like Lewis isn't the one that would be putting it on, Lewis goes, all right, doggy. I got a guy that works at this New Jersey zoo. He's going to grab the chimp. 15 minutes. We got it for fucking three hours. We are under a deadline. That's his Ocean's Eleven is getting Lewis to steal a monkey to fight H. Foley. And getting it back before anybody finds out. And we're going to record it. It's going to be on Gas Digital. Sign up for the app. Promo code chimp for one free month. Core values, doggy. But yeah, dude, I'm going to find out about this and I'm going to text you guys about where the fuck this is. We should all be doing more stuff like this. We should all go to this. We all have the means to get to the Far East. Let's go. We're going to go to NYPD at the NY. Yeah, we'll start there. That'll be a fun one. We should do a recap on Are You Garbage? Let's do it. Let's go right to the studio. Yeah. Right from MSG. Boom, hit it. Just go in and fucking break down what we saw. I love that kind of shit. Anytime there's just like people, I don't know why. Always from the Departed 2. I don't know if it was rugby when the cops played the fireman. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's like your first time getting pussy in the history of fire or pussy. I don't know. I just like, I love. That line seemed a little forced. Yeah. Which honestly, can I tell you, I feel like you practiced that in front of the mirror. Yeah, it was a little forced. But they do say that is like one of the things of that movie is that he was homosexual. And that's where a lot of his anger came from. Yes. And they use that line as like a deflection. Yeah, also. Like you get no pussy. It's also when he goes, you getting married? And he goes, yeah, I'm getting married. He's like, yeah, they like to see a man that's consistent. He's like, make sure your dick works. He's like, it's working overtime. Overtime, yeah. It's working overtime. And then finish. Yeah. He's sitting there eating his fucking Wheaties and this fucking bitch has got a banana in her hand. The night he couldn't get hard. Yeah. What the fuck is that? Is that the one she goes, do you want to talk about what happened to us? Yeah, she's peeling the banana. Oh, man. Scorsese loves imagery. Yeah. Then Leo got her and gave it to her. One shot. One shot. Put a baby in her. Out of the rain. Out of the rain. All perked up too. Was he perked? No, he was perked to the tunes. He wasn't pooping, I'll tell you that. Oh, man. You know what's so funny is it's because it's Leo and it's that actress. It's like really sexy. But if it was like one of Katie's friends from Massachusetts who's like, I had a hard week. I was doing Percocets and then I fucked my fucking therapist. It fucked my brains out. And he goes, I went over to my fucking therapist's house and fucked her. I'm pretty sure she's married. She's fucking, she's married to a Stady. A Stady cop. I'm in a lot of trouble. I fucking went in there. I fucking raw dogged her. I don't fucking know. I don't fucking, I don't know. I'm on these fucking. I stole his watch. Fucking broad was moving. I figured, who gives a fuck? By the way, I fucking took a dump in a house and I fucking didn't even flush it. Fuck her. Fuck her. Fuck him. Fuck the cop. Fuck you. Fuck you writing me off not letting me take packs. Fucking Medicaid. Get the fuck out of here. He'd be such a shithead if that was real. Yeah, it's so funny. She would look like one of Mickey Ward's sisters or something like that. She would know. One of those MTV girls. And she'd be like, yeah, I fucked him. So what? What are you going to do? Fight me? What are you, a chimp? Why don't you go get him? Why don't you go find him? You're a cop. Why don't you track him down? Catch a big guy. Go find your hard-on smart guy. She goes, you're a fucking queer. I know you're a queer. You're fucking soft. You're soft serve every night. He's like, I'll fucking kill you. They always make it like sexy. I told you not to talk about that. You fucking dumb bitch. Like Homer was Bart. That's so true. It's so romantic. It's like the perfect version of it. Oh, it was hot. It was raining outside. Yeah, and it's fucking, I'm comfortably numb being covered in a slow way. I've become comfortably numb. And I remember she said, right before they start kissing, she goes, I find your vulnerability something right now. And I'm like, I don't know what that is, but I got to get some of it. Is that like blue chew? Also, the least accurate part of that scene is him not before he does it going, you never fucked a black guy, right? Are we acting like these guys aren't from Boston? He goes, you're not fucking black guys, right? Are we cool? Because you're fucking dealing with the court system. So I just want to make sure that none of the brothers from Dorchester are coming out of here fucking ringing your bell. That would have been awesome. Ringing your bell. That would have been fucking so funny. Yeah, I don't want to insult you or nothing, but I don't know. You are. This might come off a little crude, but. In that scene he stops, he goes, you're not fucking any black guys, right? She goes, no. But he is. He's such a piece of shit. Not once ever. Ever. You ever fucking think about it? Because that counts too. Even when you were dancing at a show in town? Never. Yeah, yeah, no. You go out of night school, you never blew a black guy out? Yeah, dude, him just on perks, fucking his court-ordered therapist. Fucking scratching his neck. He's got the itchies. He goes, ah, fuck. He goes, are those candle holders real gold? You got bed bugs or something? Yeah. About a cop in this house? Yeah, you're fucking, you're going to lose some stuff. You're moving. I'm just going to say you lost it in the move. Oh, yeah, it was the night before the move. Yeah, he goes, so this fight, he's down back in Southie. You know, he could probably squat in here for a couple more weeks, right? He goes, I know where we can go to fucking do drugs. My old court-ordered therapist. She just moved out. With a queer boyfriend. I fucked her. I fucked her in this house. And you go, oh, God. But what world are you not cool with that? Oh, what? Come on. You're willing to break into the house and do drugs with them, but then he's like, I fucked her right here. And you're like, what, dude? Come on. I'm trying to break and enter and get high. Dude, come on. I want to tie up and push off. Not be fucking grossed out. Come on, man. Just crush those pills up, will you? Yeah. Shut up. Stop talking about your romantic. I need to do a line of that. That's funny. You guys are the fucking best. Thank you, brother. We love you, man. Watch the special. The link is below. Thank you. Are You Garbage? Appreciate you. One of the best podcasts of all time. Two of the best men of all time. Also, I have to say, phenomenal fucking job on tires. Thank you, buddy. You are a great piece of shit. You as well, my friend. You too, Danny Sodes. You as well, Danny Sodes. I just played it. I just played it retarded. You were working. You were a real piece of shit. Oh, that was easy. I loved it. I loved the whole Taka Taka Tires thing. Thank you. The thing with the. Damn, dude. Thank you. Same to you, brother. They did, you know, John, McKeever, Shane, and Gerben, and all them. They're the best. The best. They did so good. Oh, dude. Great. And season four. Yeah, season four. Just announced. So, you know, your scummy ass is coming back. We'll see what happens. I love you and Stav, man. Thank you. I love you and Stav. I thought you and fucking O'Connor were fucking fantastic together. Yeah, they made me a nice white supremacist. The call I got was. The call I got was, no N-word, no shaving head. You in? And I said. I'm out. I'm out. Who's cow we taking? I go, oh, so you're fucking laying up. Oh, so you lost your. Oh, so you went Hollywood. So you lost your good stuff. RU Garbage fucking rules. Check out their special right now. Go click the link. I love you guys. Love you, bud. Thanks. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. You're a lifelong learner who's come this far. Now we're here to help you keep going further. Capella University, what can't you do? Visit capella.edu to learn more.