#337 Maggie Freleng with Amelia Bird

A note for listeners, this episode contains discussion of suicide. Please listen with caution and care. [MUSIC] For Amelia Bird, her world never felt safe. From a young age, she was mentally, physically, and sexually abused by family members. She tried to get help from anyone she could. I went to my school counselor and begged them to call DFS, call whoever to come get me, because I could not live in that house any longer. The counselor referred her to a mental health facility. I told them I was suicidal, they, I would die before I ever went back in that house. I can't do it no more. When adults in Amelia's life continued to fail her, she turned to drugs, alcohol, and older men for comfort. But these avenues would lead not to escape, but to her biggest downfall. I remember waking up thinking that it was storming really bad. Nothing you see, like actual seeing the lightning. My window was open so I could hear the rain hit the tender of. And then I remember going to the bathroom and that's when I see blood. And I heard the words I can't believe you shot me. My name is Amelia Bird. I have been her prison since January 13, 2006, and I am innocent. From lava for good, this is wrongful conviction with Maggie Freeling. Today, Amelia Bird. Amelia Bird was born on April 19, 1989 to William and Christina Bird in Somersville, Missouri. Amelia was the baby in the family. Her brother Justin is five years older. I grew up on a farm ish. We did have horses there at the end. We were getting cattle and stuff. And life, both in and out of school, kept Amelia busy. I worked a school program and worked until sometimes seven, eight o'clock at night training horses. And I loved it. I loved working with horses. At first, Amelia was pretty close with her dad. I thought he was the best guy in the world. I was daddy's little girl. From the outside looking in, it was picture perfect. I'm just like everything. Every home has its secrets. And the secrets in the bird home were dark ones. I always thought that my mom was cheating on my dad because that's what I would overhear the adults saying. But as she got older, Amelia started realizing her father was the problem. One day, she found her mom cowering in fear from her dad. I don't even know what happened. It just remembered some mother's day when he had my mom trapped against the wall down the floor. And the whole bedroom was destroyed. Torrid pieces. My grandmother had to come. My aunt had to come. And that's like my aunt started seeing that my mom wasn't necessarily the bad person that it was more of my dad. My father had to temper on him. He does not know when to stop when he gets angry, whether he verbally or physically abuses. You can almost see it in his eyes changing. An Amelia's mother was not the only target of his rage. One time, my mom had told me to do something. I didn't do it right away. So he gave me a weapon. And it started outside then went inside. And he continued to the point like I was black and blue for my lower back, almost the back of my knees. Amelia started to notice that her mom never stood up for her or for herself. And my mom was very quiet and meek and no matter what happened to her, she would just take it and keep going. I knew she was scared of him because she had left him twice. The time mother's day and then another time she had left him again. And we actually moved into a whole other house. Took the horses, everything. We packed up and everything. But her mom always went back. And in comparison to how they treated her, Amelia's parents often spoiled and favored her brother Justin. Anything he said was right, something would happen and they would always be like, "Why can't you be like your brother? Why do you have to misbehaved so much? Why can't you be great to be better?" It was like one thing on top of another and they always compared me to him. This was painful enough for Amelia, but worse than that, she says was that her brother took advantage of her. My brother had sexually abused me and I knew no matter what was said, they would always take his side over mine. And tell me that I'm just making it up to get attention. Amelia says her cousin sexually abused her too. By the time she was 10 to deal with the emotional and physical pain of the ongoing abuse, Amelia began to self-medicate. The first thing that I got near to was just pills and they were like yellow jackets and like, "Where is there stuff up first to try to keep me awake?" And as I had a whole feared phobia of going to sleep because that's when it seems that everything bad always happened. So like, I didn't like to go to sleep, but if I did, I wanted somebody there, whether it was my dog Fred or whether it was somebody else, like one of my exes. The pills soon led to alcohol. And that was that. I don't even remember who it was at a friend's house that she told me she was like, "This will help." And then we started drinking. And it started off with just like sour apple, tucker, saying it led to vodka and hard liquor. And then one time she had moonshine. Then I started hanging out with this other girl and we partied all the time. She introduced me to weed mushrooms and more pills. I came to eat what all those were because we would put them all in a bowl and just grab them and take them and take a shot. I felt something shame. I felt like it was my fault for a very long time over it. Because I didn't understand why it had happened. So Amelia began looking for a way out for herself. I found a college that was like a rodeo school to where I could barrel race on the side but also get an education. And I really wanted to do that. I loved barrel racing. My biggest dream was I wanted to ride my horse through every state. I had mapped it out when I was 10 years old. But these dreams were crushed by her father. He told me that I'm too stupid to do anything. And I'm never going to mount to nothing in life that I need to give up all my dreams. Amelia felt trapped. Starting from age 11, she confided in adults about what was going on at home. However, Amelia says the adults she turned to always betrayed her. By the time she was 14, she was desperate. I went to my school counselor and begged them to call DFS, call whoever to come get me because I could not live in that house any longer. And they brought in a juvenile officer that scared me. He told me we had to talk to my parents. I said, you might as well give it up. I don't want to talk to my parents. He didn't get to hold my parents and we all sat down and they made me go home. And my dad drive me to the next town over to meet some people to pick me up to drive me to the hospital. Once she got to the mental health facility. I told them I was suicidal. I would die before I ever went back in that house. I can't do the arguments. I can't do the abuse. Nobody was saved up for nobody and I'm done. But even at the hospital, she still felt that no one believed her. I started thinking that I was delusional and that April really wasn't a big deal. Then I was the one and the wrong. Like I really started feeling like there was some wrong with me. Amelia stayed in the hospital for about 11 days and then she was released back to her family and to the abuse. Her dad was the one who came to drive her home from the hospital. The whole time he would not speak to me. That night he just yelled at me. They made fun of me. They said, you're very careful what you say. She might become suicidal and make comments like, [BLANK_AUDIO] will just be it out of her and then she'll be better. We don't need no hospital. When Amelia left the facility, doctors prescribed her pro-Zach and chrasidone. But when her dad said it was too expensive, that she was costing the family too much money, she stopped taking the medication. Still, Amelia and her mother grew closer. She especially cherishes one good memory of being with her mom. And that was a float trip, it was just me and her. And it didn't start off very good. And it didn't end good, but the middle part was amazing. Amelia and her mom were just bonding and having heart to heart as they floated on the river together. But then a thunderstorm struck. Then we got trapped. It was like two in the morning when somebody finally found us on the river. It was my dad and he was mad. And then we'll get out for it even has to come looking for it. But the whole trip itself, like in the middle, just me and her out in the water was so much fun and amazing. And it's like one of my last memories of her. (gentle music) In the fall of 2005, the abuse was still rampant. In addition to self-medicating, Amelia was also seeking out relationships with older men. - I didn't really associate with a lot of people in my age. They were just not mentally on the same level as me. Like I've grown up very fast and I've never really had a childhood. So I always hung out with people that were way older than me. And I would meet them like at horse shows and they would not even know my age. They would just assume I was older. - Amelia began an on-again, off-again relationship with a guy named Maynard, who was about five years older than her. - My family hated him. They blamed him for the drugs. That I called they blamed him for me going to the hospital. They blamed him for so much. - But Amelia says that Maynard always protected her. He would even sneak in and spend the night with her when she was too afraid to sleep. But her parents had no tolerance for him. Maynard and Amelia's dad even got into a physical fight once. Eventually things with Maynard ended. And one day Amelia, now 16, came home from work and met 19-year-old Chad Brandley. Chad was at her family's house with a friend who was buying a truck from her dad. - We just started hanging out in between my schedule and stuff. And then he didn't have no job, no education. He played music at a bar. He was a drummer. He told me he would start doing DED classes. He told me he would get a job, everything. - Amelia really liked Chad. Even though he was somewhat adrift, she felt like he took care of her. She even confided in Chad about the abuse she was enduring at home. But quickly, this relationship also turned volatile. - He got to where he was demanding that I spend all this time with him. And he would get angry with me. It would get loud. He liked to drink and he done meth and other stuff. I don't even know what all he done, but I know he done meth and other stuff. But more harder than what I done. I told him about my dreams, what I wanted to do. I wanted to show, I wanted to train, I wanted to do all that. Like that was my goal in life. To be this amazing trainer. He wanted me to give up horses and I never would give up the horses. Because that was my whole life. - With Chad's violent and controlling behavior, their relationship didn't last long. - We started fighting really bad because he was demanding too much and I told him I needed time and space that I'm still a kid. - Then on the afternoon of January 13th, 2006, Amelia was leaving school when she spotted him. It wasn't an accident. Chad was sitting there waiting for me. I told him I didn't want to talk to him right then, that we would talk later, then I had to go to work. I told him I'd call him when I could. - That night, right before midnight, Amelia woke up to a thunderstorm. - My window was open so I could hear the rain hit the 10 roof. And then. I remember going to the bathroom. - And on her way to the bathroom, she passed her parents' bedroom. - And that's when I see blood. My mom is laying there, my dad standing there. And all I heard was words, "I can't believe you shot me." - Amelia couldn't tell who was talking to whom or who they were talking to. She raised to call 911. - And then from there, everything got really confused. - I remember calling 911, but I don't remember calling my brother. I don't remember that. I read the reports all the time, and it's just like, I don't remember how this stuff. - It was all a blur. Before Amelia could even process what was happening, police showed up. They determined that her mother, Christina Bird, had died from gunshot wounds. Her father was taken to the ER. Eventually, he survived. (gentle music) This episode is underwritten by AIG, a leading global insurance company. AIG is committed to corporate social responsibility and to making a positive difference in the lives of its employees and in the communities where they work and live. In light of the compelling need for pro-bonal legal assistance, and in recognition of AIG's commitment to criminal and social justice reform, the AIG pro-bonal program provides free legal services and other support to underrepresented communities and individuals. Immediately before any investigation took place, Amelia was a suspect and was whisked off to the police station. She was questioned that night, and she says there was no adult present aside from the investigators. The conversation was not recorded or documented. They kept questioning me and talking to me about not really even the crime itself. They would talk to me about my mom's job. They talked to me about my ex-boyfriends or they would talk to me about my sexual relationships with men. They'd ask me about men or define you where men were, or if I had seen him. And I knew that that's why they were questioning about him because he was my dad and my mom had that altercation. And I'm like, no, I haven't seen him in a long time. Like, I don't know where he is. They asked me about what TV shows I watched. Like, it made no sense to me. - To Amelia, the questions seemed suggestive, leading, and confusing. - I got mad because I'm like, why are you spending all this time asking these questions? Why aren't you doing your job? Why are you not out there looking for whoever or checking the house for any kind of evidence? And I kept telling them like, nobody could physically enter our house without leaving some kind of evidence because it was raining and we've lived on a farm. It's muddy everywhere. Like, you can't even walk in the back door without leaving dust footprints on the super grunge of our mom and sister on keeping down on the ground. They just wasn't making any sense to me. Who did you think did this at the beginning? - I didn't, couldn't, for the life of me figure it out. Like, I didn't know who did it. I swear that I've seen somebody, but then I questioned whether or not I even really seen that person because the way they made it seem that I didn't see anybody. To the thing, I questioned whether or not I even see anybody. Like, there's so many things that I've seen that I know that I've seen, but then there's so many things that I don't know if they're even real or if it's something that has been twisted and hidden in my head to make me think that I've seen this person or didn't see this person. (gentle music) - When talking to the police, Amelia briefly mentioned that her ex-boyfriend, Chad Brantley, could have possibly been behind the gruesome crime, but after police talked to Chad, they determined that his and Amelia's stories conflicted and that to them was suspicious. They arrested both Amelia and Chad on January 14th, 2006, the day after the shooting. They were both threatened with the death penalty. Chad admitted to police that he was responsible for killing Amelia's mother and that he intended to kill both parents, but he also said that Amelia had put him up to the murder and that they planned the shooting together. - Did you ever ask Chad to kill your parents? - No. I might have said something like I wish they would get out of my life, oh, I can't stand then, leave me alone, but I've never blatantly went up to him and said, hey, will you do this? Not one time. - Did you actually want to kill him? - Thamde? - No. I wanted him to leave me alone. I wanted my dad to leave my mom alone and me alone. But I didn't want him dead. (gentle music) - To save himself from the death penalty, Chad wound up taking a plea deal. He admitted to shooting Amelia's parents and was sentenced to life in prison. At the age of 16, Amelia was charged as an adult. Two years later, in 2008, she was assigned public defender Donna Holden. Terrified of the death penalty, Amelia took Holden's advice and accepted a plea. But here's the thing. As a minor at the time of the crime, Amelia was not legally eligible for the death penalty. Yet her attorney, Donna Holden, never told her this. - The way she made it seem is I would only serve 10 years. So I figured, what's 10 years? I get away from the family at the end of the day. It's all taken care of. Everybody's left alone and I'm done with whatever. And then I got to prison. They actually brought me in and told me that I had two life sentences running wild. - In other words, two consecutive life sentences. Amelia immediately wrote to the public defender's office to question the sentencing. - And one of the responses was something like, well, it's up to DOC at how much time you actually serve. I told you that in the beginning, which is not what she told me. And I was so angry because I felt like I had been betrayed yet again. Like I said, I want to go to trial because I didn't do nothing wrong. And I would have went to trial. I really wish I would have went to trial. - Despite no hard evidence connecting her to the shooting of her parents and death of her mother, 19 year old Amelia received the two life sentences to be served consecutively. And because Amelia accepted a plea deal, her right to direct appeals was strictly limited to filing a claim of ineffective assistance of counsel. And Amelia believes that her public defender gave her bad advice by telling her to take the plea deal. Donna Holden never filed an ineffective assistance of counsel claim to argue this. Nor did she pass the case on to someone else to file it on Amelia's behalf. Amelia missed all the deadlines and opportunities for relief. So she settled into life behind bars. (soft music) - When I first got here, I kind of stayed to myself, didn't really know what to do. I knew I wanted to get my GD first off. That was like my first goal because they would let me finish school. - She also had a small identity change. When did the nickname really come about? - Well, when the first lady met me in prison, she was like, "Well, we call it old head." Which is now what they call me, so it's crazy. But she took me under her wing and was like, "You're new named Amelia." She's like, "You're not Amelia, you're not bird, you're Amelia." And it stuck. - Millie earned her GED within a couple of months. But because of her life sentence, she can't take college classes. Many prisons in the US believe spending resources on people who will never leave prison is a waste of money. But Millie is kept busy with other prison activities, such as theater, softball, and her prison factory job. And she's worked hard through therapy to improve her mental health and overcome the traumas that shaped her youth. But what has changed her life inside prison the most was joining the CHAMP Assistance Dog Program, helping to train service dogs. Amelia started with CHAMP in 2009. - And that became my whole life. I fell in love with it. The CHAMP Program, train service dogs for the engineers. That was my world. To hear when they get placed on client to know how much you change that person's life is amazing. - She was from the beginning, an excellent trainer. And she became absolutely a vital part of our program up there. - This is Nola Ewers. She's the director of CHAMP, which stands for canine helpers allow more possibilities. CHAMP operates in prisons throughout the country and Nola says it's a fitting program for people who are incarcerated. - There's a lot of learning about yourself when you're working with dogs. In order to be a good trainer, you have to develop patients. You have to train yourself to look for positive things and those are the things that you want to reward. Consistency, of course, never losing your temper. You've got to do everything you can to build up this trust and try to never do those things that are going to harm that bond. So there's, I think there are a lot of things in there that are kind of relate to not just working with dogs. - Nola saw firsthand how the program helped Millie come out of her shell. If I gave her something to do, she'd jump on it, tackle it, get it done. And I loved that because quite honestly, not all the trainers were like that, not all of them were quite as dedicated. I needed her to be able to share those skills and to teach some of the other trainers how to be better trainers. And she did, it was not comfortable for her, I think by any means, but she did it and really ended up being, I think my primary trainer up there. (soft music) - While Millie was building a better life for herself and the dog she works with, she was also trying to figure out ways to prove her innocence. - So I want to ask you about the Willow project. How did you find out about them and why did you reach out? - Well, I actually, I watched the "Clybond" and got the idea to write Harvard a letter to see if they would help me fight my case. They wrote me back very nicely and told me I was in the wrong state. So I went to the library and I found the college book for everybody in Missouri that was in law school and I wrote a letter to them. And the Willow project reached back out to me and we've been together since. - Willow actually stands for Women Initiate Legal Lifelines to Other Women. - This is Ann Garrity Rathert, a professor of legal studies and gender and sexuality studies at Webster University in St. Louis, Missouri. She's also the director of the Willow project, a wrongful convictions project for women. - There aren't very many, if any, other wrongful conviction programs that are devoted only to people who are in women's prisons. So it's sort of unique in that way. - The Willow project emerged from the case of a woman named Angel Stewart. - Can you explain who Angel is? - Yeah, so Angel after a childhood of horrific physical and sexual abuse by family members, she ran away from home at the age of 12. She became a prostitute, but she has a very serious developmental disability. When she was about 18 or 19 years old, she became held against her will in the sex trafficking industry. Essentially what happened was that she was held against her will, horrifically abused. - Her traffickers then dragged her along in a crime spree during which they kidnapped and killed two elderly women. Angel was charged with first degree murder and first degree kidnapping, along with both men. And Angel took a plea deal to kidnapping rather than murder, receiving life sentences in both Missouri and Iowa. Angel is still in prison. The Willow project was started to help women like Angelin Milley, who do not have sufficient access to representation due to injustices like poverty, oppression, exploitation, and violence. When the Willow project received Milley's letter and instantly noticed red flags in her case. - She was also horrifically physically and sexually abused throughout her life. And that's sort of where the parallels exist within the realm of the clients that we take on. So that was her situation. This went on for several years where she kept trying to get away or get someone to listen to her. Nobody would listen to her. And so at the age of 16, as with many 16 year olds, she hated her parents and she pretty much told everybody that she hated them. I think it makes a lot of sense. A lot of 16 year olds hate their parents with no real motivation. So hating your parents when they actually are abusing you is a logical thing. But she was very outspoken about it. And I think that ultimately was what led to her being accused wrongfully. - But Anne acknowledges that cases like Milley's may be more difficult to fight for. - If there is no DNA, those cases become far more complicated. Because it's often one person, war against another. This is especially common when women are involved in wrongful convictions. So I think currently out of the hundreds of people who have been exonerated based on DNA evidence, only 13 of them are women. And that's because a lot of the crimes of which women are charged and convicted don't involve DNA. What's more, only 8 to 9% of all exonerees are women. And part of that is because people tend to not believe women. We've seen this throughout the Me Too movement. And so somewhere along the line, I decided that if people were going to tell me they were innocent, I was at least going to entertain that to be true. Despite the lack of any possible exonerating physical or forensic evidence or any means of appeal or relief, and believed, Millie, and dug into our case. I believe her because everything that could corroborate her story in terms of research does corroborate her story. In also believes that Chad was solely responsible for these crimes, and that his motive was manipulation. She had broken up with Chad, but he kept coming back into the picture and trying to, as he said, "It went back her affection, but mostly it was just regained control in my estimation of their relationship." And so I think that is the impetus for the whole set of crimes that he believed if he could get her away from that house, that he could have her for himself in whatever way. Mary, her, but essentially just have total control over her. His motivation obviously was to, as the actual shooter, to have his sentence reduced, and the only way he was going to be able to do that was to implicate her into turning state's evidence against her, which he did. The Willow Project has tried to argue this and defend Millie's innocence the best they can. With no legal options for relief, Anne has been filing clemency petitions, lobbying legislators and arguing for parole. Through the dog training program, Nola has gotten to know Millie very well over the years. They even co-parent a dog together, named Deja. So I asked her, "You have written to the parole board on Millie's behalf. What did you say in the letter?" What I said in my letter is that I was so happy to see how she had grown over the years that she'd been up there. She'd not only improved her training skills, it's a wonderfully specific skill set to learn how to train service dogs, but it impacts so much. I'd also say that I was really happy how she had developed those skills working with other people. She became an excellent role model for our other trainers and offenders. And she's offered a job when she gets out, correct? We would love to have her. That means seriously, she has all the service dog skills that we would love to see. Really, we'd welcome her. Millie looks forward to getting out of prison and taking that job, but for now she spends a lot of time reflecting on her life and family. Millie grew closer to her mother before she died, so she'd been grieving that loss over the years. She hasn't spoken to her brother since before the crime, and she no longer has a relationship with her father, but she's staying strong, moving forward, and learning from her past. Is there anything you would say to younger you? 16, pre-16, is there anything you'd want her to know or any other girls in that situation? I was just want them to know that you'd have her doubts themselves, even though people are pushing them down and just stand up for themselves. Don't give up. Don't ever give up. Let your voice be heard, even though people are telling you that you're the one and the wrong, just stand up for yourself. I'm not this bad person, I've been made out to be like a really bad person, and I'm just hoping to get my second chance to prove to everybody. To find out more about the Willow Project and how to help support wrongfully convicted women like Amelia and Angel, go to WillowProjectSTL.org. You can also find links to Amelia's Facebook support page and to champ assistance dogs on our bio. This time, Unwrongful Conviction with Maggie Freeling, Butch Martin. The Fire Martial comes out and writes an opinion, saying, "You cannot say that this was an intentionally set fire. You could fill the shift in the courtroom. When the judge and the prosecutor, I think, really started to realize, oh my goodness, we got an innocent man." Thanks for listening to Wrongful Conviction with Maggie Freeling. Please support your local innocence organizations and go to the links in our bio to see how you can help. I'd like to thank our executive producers Jason Flom and Kevin Wurtis, as well as our senior producer Annie Chelsea, producer Laila Robinson and story editor Sonia Paul. The show is edited and mixed by Annie Chelsea with additional production by Jeff Clyburn and Connor Hall. The music in this production is by three-time Oscar-nominated composer Jay Ralph. Be sure to follow us on Instagram @wrongfulconviction on Facebook @wrongfulconviction podcast and on Twitter @wrongconviction as well as @lavafirgood on all three platforms. You can also follow me on both Instagram and Twitter @maggyfreeling. Wrongful Conviction with Maggie Freeling is a production of Lavafirgood Podcasts in association with Signal Company #1. [Music]