#278: Brian Quinn Goes Cruisin’

For your complete up-to-date listings of live smodco shows, go to smodcast.com. April 14th, Irvine gets old with J&Bub. Comic bookmen's Mike and Ming are at PopCon in Evansville, Indiana on April 15th. Get your tickets now at smodcast.com. [Music] Hello, ants. Welcome to Outer Space with OutWalt Flanagan. We have an opening act for you. And here he comes. Ladies and gentlemen, the inspiration for the voice of Nugget. [Applause] Guys, it's tough dating where you're such a skinny guy. I brought this girl back to my apartment. I took my shirt off. She was like, "Ooh, I've never been with a guy with a 12-pack." I'm like, "Those are my ribs." [Applause] Ladies and gentlemen, give it up for J&Bub. [Laughter] We had a new one joke. [Laughter] All right, now listen to "Sat Live." All right, ladies and gentlemen, please put your hands together with the spakes of monkeys. You've got Brian Johnson. Go on, Brian. That's when you got. You got Brian Quinn and you got Salvo Canto, ladies and gentlemen. [Applause] [Applause] [Applause] All right, here we are, ladies and gentlemen, welcome to the Space Monk you're jealous. Very drunk. [Applause] Very drunk because I knew that people at this show would prefer it that way. Would be disappointed if I didn't show up this way. So here I am for you. I don't have a person in chance. I'm going to fall out. You could feel it, right? Yes. I'm going to get more beer. It's a little bit maddening via the swaying of the boat. [Laughter] You'll be back in a little bit. That's the. That's rare these days, an opening act that cleans up after himself. I'm going to grab a. Okay, yeah, I'll take a beer too. Thanks, buddy. I got to put the recorder on the stage too. Okay, so do you want me to not be my sterical yet? Or. He wants me to not be a sterical just for a minute, so can you bear with me? Quinn's now in prop comic. [Laughter] Oh, I felt like this was a thing like a stick. I thought you were going to pull like a. I can't out of there or something. Okay. It's maddening that the rocking will not stop on the boat. Like every. I must look like a crazy person walking the halls because every like 40 seconds, I'm like, "Mod the fuck sh*t." I can't control it. I'm wearing fucking two. I look like a gay superhero. [Laughter] I'm wearing these things. This is some racket, these things. A guy took a. A half a sweat band and put a piece of plastic on it. I paid $8.99. I'm like, "Yeah, it feels great." And he's getting reports daily. He's like, "I sold how many?" Oh, man. It's the equivalent of magic pills. You know? Maybe. I got this thing. Magic beans. Yeah, that's another thing. You just put a f*cking sticker on your neck. I put a sticker on my neck and. I took a. It didn't date me a little bit, but I took a. A cruise in 1984. I'm like, "Yeah, I'm that f*cking old. Who the f*ck just laughed at that?" [Laughter] So you took a cruise via 40th birthday? Yeah. Back in '84. And I wore one of these things. And it works. So, of course, I get it again. Thinking that within. [Cheers] Nice. [Applause] Mr. Recorder. Oh, they're recording it from the table. The sound table. Oh, okay. I told you I was drunk. [Laughter] What were you guys talking about? The sound that like the audience was laughing hysterically. Well, I was about to complain about how in 30 years they haven't changed the design of this f*cking C-Signus patch at all. So it's this circle that looks a little bit bigger than a dime. And it's a scarlet letter. I mean, it's flesh color, but it's a scarlet letter that's like, "He is a pus." [Laughter] He gets sick. His belly starts hurting. Ooh, so precious. Yeah. Very precious. It's a scarlet letter. It's to let people know you've been f*cked by nausea. Yeah. Exactly. Well, what redesign would you suggest for the patch in the year 2K16? Well, smaller for one would be, right? Can I add something? Yeah. Fun colors. Licensed. Get some Rick and Morty on there. Oh, yes. Rick. Like a James Bond one. I think that is, I mean, the less you're trying to be ironic. I'm a badass. Hold on. Whoa, I forgot my C-Signus patch. What about scented? I mean, it's a. It's a smelag of a jina? No. You're like. Well, who's smelling? I was thinking like strawberries and cream, but all right. So just for the record, you like strawberries and cream more than. [Laughter] Pussy. It depends on the time of the day. Yeah, I guess I agree with you on that one. More time of the month. Yeah. Most of the time, it's strawberries and cream, though. Yeah. Who's smelling? I never had strawberries and cream that didn't taste good. Would you stop? I'm not talking about anything else, but the strawberries and cream. Wherever you took that, you took it yourself. It's on you. You leave here. You deal with that for the rest of the trip. Does it stop you or at least slow you down? You're on a cruise and you. I know you're dating somebody. But you meet a girl and you start, you know, doing what a volcano does. You know, because you know. T.C. Can I have a flash? What do you want to do? And so your kiss in her neck and you end up with a nausea patch in your mouth. [Laughter] Does it take your strawberries to pussy? Yeah. You're trying to give her a hikki, right? You're like on a marker. You know. Salvo, can I have a hear you. You're like the 84 cruise dated you? Nobody's giving hikkies anymore. Really? Hikkies are out. Hikkies, hikkies! You don't like hikkies? You've been out since the 80s. The only people that don't like hikkies are people who are cheating on this, they're never getting other. If you're with. You know, but someone they're like, "No, don't leave any marks." I mean, that's universal for I have a boyfriend or girlfriend. No, no. You're busy walking around, you're looking like a wounded. You look like you have lesions all over you. What is the point of that? It doesn't mean I don't have to be cheating on someone. I don't want to walk around looking like I. Look at everybody. I've got sucked on. Looking like you had physical contact with someone. You don't want anybody to think of that. I don't want people to know I had human interaction. So, all right, let's start this. This is whatever this podcast is. Space Monkies podcast. Which we do. Q and I originally remember we were going to do it as kind of an ongoing thing where we were going to travel because our friend Walt, who does tell him Steve Dave, is a pussy. (Applause) He won't fly even though Q and I have been flying ever. I've known Walt 40 years now. I haven't died in a plane crash, but for some reason he thinks that once he steps on. It's all over. That plane's going down. So, you and I started it until we could address some more of the hot button issues. What I dreamed of at the time was we would interview gang members and hookers. I know hookers. Pimps, gas station attendance. People that know. The underbelly of society. Yeah. And now you've got all of them in one guest. Hopefully he'll say something hot, but. I'll fill up your tank and suck your dick. No problem. (Laughter) Gas station prostitute right here. See, there's an anti-gangster. So don't look at me the wrong way because I'll shoot you right in the balls after. See, I like to hear you this kind of stuff. [BLANK_AUDIO] I was like, "I watch you to what's the word? What is the word that you use?" Oh, sellouts. Unipricle jokers? (audience laughing) You know, not really being true to your show. - That ain't it. (laughing) - Really sellouts. - Okay, so the IJ fans who know you as these levelable fucking scamps, these pranksters, like, "Ooh, we're still playing tricks on our friends after pocket 30-5 years." (audience laughing) They get to see this other side of you guys, you know? Like, the cursing and the darkness. And I actually, I wrote a couple questions for you, Sal, because I know you're fucked up. (audience laughing) I don't have to ask you this shit, right? - I was about to also rebuttal against the sellout thing. And then I, like, literally this week, we got an email that was like, "You have to eat starbursts during the scene." (audience laughing) I said, "No, but they want me to eat it." - Yeah, sure. - "You'll see us eating starbursts." - "You guys see us in a scene just like popping starbursts?" - Yeah. - That was the sellout thing he's talking about. - Yeah, yeah. - Murray, pick up that starburst wrapper off the ground. That's hilarious. (audience laughing) Do you wanna be punished? (audience laughing) - Hey, this guy, call this guy a real starburst. (audience laughing) Listen, listen, we fight very hard, very, very hard to defeat that stuff. We've got to approach with that a lot to do commercials and stupid shit like that, but sometimes somebody comes through and themselves with just a bigger wrecking ball. And that wrecking ball is starbursts right across it. (audience laughing) And here we are. - And make it Murray riding on it, like Miley Cyrus. (audience laughing) So, Sal, some of these, 'cause you're, I went to Dom and Rarish, oh, the other night. And he was-- - Yes, please. - Give it up. - Dom will be out here very shortly, very shortly. (audience cheering) He lives in the corner, that's very, (laughing) they call him the ship troll. - You could go through that way, you gotta give him a, you gotta give him some weird coin that doesn't really exist in the history. But he's speaking very highly of you too and talking about how sensitive you are now. I've known Q since what you were 19, 19 years old. So, going on 20 years, and I've known you almost as long, 'cause I met you through Q. And definitely, what Dom said is true, like very sensitive, like I've seen him in situations where he would say a word and be like, oh, I can't believe I just said that word. You know, like really come down on himself, up with me and you were like, (laughing) I laugh at him, but like really has a conscience, you know? Way more than you and way more than me. (laughing) - So I wrote a few questions just to kind of test your, this conscience, right? - I'm a more questionnaire of Suots Vazalvogano. - Yes. - I love it. - Yeah. - This is Q and A time with Sal to see what he would, what he would do, okay. So, this impractical joker's cruise, turns out that it's a-- - I already don't like it. (laughing) - Turns out it's a financial failure because you invited too many no names on. (laughing) And expected them to carry the fucking whole thing. So you have to do more, different cruise. - We have to bring Murray, we have to. - Have to, all right. It was that or the Starburst. (laughing) A pack of Starbursts on the plane to eat our Murray. One of the two. So you can't do any more in IJ cruises, but these are the cruises that are offered to you. - Oh yeah. - All right. So you can rank them in order of how you would do them. - All right. - Okay. - So you have to commit to at least on some level doing them. - Yes. - Just what order would you do? - All right, let's go. - Okay. The first cruise is a Nambla cruise. (laughing) And if you don't know what Nambla is, it stands for North American Boy Love Association. It's a bunch of old guys who have themselves convinced that boys as young as like seven can fall in love, do fall in love and wanna be with this 60 year old man. - All right. So right away, you're committed to that somewhere. - The short version of this. - Okay, that's a child molester, right? - I put that first. - Okay. (laughing) - What else? - So the second? - The second cruise is an Aryan nation cruise. (laughing) - All right. - I'm getting sensitive. (laughing) - The third cruise is a Bill Cosby Victims Reunion cruise. (laughing) So it's just his victims, NU and Bill, on this cruise. - And Bill? - Yeah, he's, of course. - It's not a reunion. - You're gonna draw those people in, wow, you're angry. - I said, well, I wouldn't go on that fucking cruise. Well, I get one of the Nambla people are going and I get one of the Aryan nation people are going, but why are the victims going back to Bill Cosby? - Where they got a free cruise out of it and they're gonna get to berate Bill Cosby. And you're there to make sure things don't get out of hand so you have to defend Bill a little bit. (laughing) - I did not have all these details just a moment ago. (laughing) - Okay, and then the fourth cruise is a children's hospice cruise. (laughing) Now, you leave the ship with, (laughing) you leave the ship with 100% capacity. Within three days, you return with 5%. 5% left. - It's like an iPhone battery. - Oh man. - Geez. - I didn't think 90 seconds ago that the Bill Cosby cruise would sound that good. (laughing) - The Bill Cosby cruise sounds amazing right now. (laughing) - Is it a, no one, the buffet on that last one. (laughing) - You know, by the third day, you just zip it up slightly. - Is that it or are there other fun cruises? - That's it. And the Bill Cosby cruise is going to some country where they still make quailoos. (laughing) - And I have to, - You got it. - It's just ragged. - I have to rank these. - After you guys got all up it, he said, "Fuckstar, birth, they were like, well fuck you, you're gone." (laughing) So now you're a husband. - All right, let me, I'm gonna go against the current here, I think, because no, okay. (laughing) I'm taking it serious. The hospice one is gonna be really sad and really depressing. - Well, especially since, you know, after one of them dies, you have to throw him into a cold burner. (laughing) Did I forget that? - You have to read all the fucking fine print before you make me vote. - All right, you don't have to do that. - That was like, that's insane. That's an insane thing to be on that cruise. (laughing) Like, if they're gonna make that cruise, if they're gonna make that cruise, that's an insane thing to have on it. - They should just have the cruise and you shouldn't have to do that. - Right. - Well, you're in the show. - They wanna avoid the cruise. - The cruise is fine. - Futurals are expensive. - Yeah, no stop. (laughing) Let's stop. - It's not, you know, child funeral is a less expensive because the coffins they have to size. (laughing) - Yeah. - You know, not as much strength in a celebrating. - You're in international water, so anything goes. - Yeah. - Right. - You're seeing yourself on half a coffin by tossing that little body, that little frail, delicate, child body that was full of hope and dreams. - Yeah. - And could remind any of you of your own child, you just have to take that little, dead, lifeless body. - I just chuck it. Maybe a seagull takes a dart at it on the way down. First made volcano cover up that corpse. (laughing) The girls are getting at it. (laughing) - Maybe her name was Tabatha. Favorite color was yellow. - And then you also, you know, when you pull back in the port, you have to tell which parents. - You need to tell me all the rules. - I will play the game. You need to stop any asterisks. - They're in port like. (laughing) - Selfie. (laughing) - Oh my stop. (laughing) - Listen to me. Do I have all the information? - Yeah, you have all the information. That's it. - Oh my God. - So fine. - So here's the thing. I have questions. - Yeah, sure. - Are the children dying whether or not they come on this cruise? - Yeah, it's kind of like the Make a Wish cruise, but it's almost guaranteed. - So whether they go on the cruise or not, they're gonna go away. - Right. - You're not in any way responsible for that death. - No, what I'm saying is, like I don't wanna go to a hate gathering, like an Aryan cruise. I don't wanna go to that. But the people going on this cruise, they're all lovely people that need some support and some love like that. So even though it'll be depressing to me, the general broad strokes of the cruise is a kind thing. So. - Yeah, all right. (laughing) - So I do that last. - No good. (laughing) - No, so I guess I would try to do that and just try to really stay strong for everybody on that thing. Oh boy. Then I had to go on the Cosby one. Because. You all you have to make sure it doesn't get out of control and Cosby doesn't get his ass kicked. You can still maintain like what you what we all feel about Cosby inside, but you know you have to be like ladies ladies. Like a Nazi like those are my orders? Yeah, I just follow my orders. So I'm on the crew solely to defend Cosby? Not defend, but mediate so he doesn't get attacked and ripped apart. I'm Cosby's meat. Like a fair playing field between Cosby and his rape victims. You have to reach that. Cosby's like where is this field? Because I want to get to a real fast fair. I go on the Cosby cruise, but just on Bill Cosby the the hour special Bill Cosby himself alone. Okay, I'm sorry. You are still a fan. Yeah, I'll go. Okay. I fucked up. You're also in Blackface. You're pretending you're his dead son. You see what I now I now every we Nambla just bumped up a couple of spots. Every week that I go to Red Bank to do tell him Steve Dave. Like this is the tightrope that I'm walking every week. Yeah, I know to make sure that spots is don't drop. I'm going hospice and then I'm going Nambla. I don't have many other choices. Don't get bulky at my did you judging me? I have to choose. They're like Nambla second really. Oh, I disagree with that. Really? Of course. There's no way for me to win. What I could say any order it's all wrong. Dude, I'm putting Nambla in the number two spot. You're almost I don't want to say legitimizing them, but you've definitely given them. He just gave him a big endorsement. Like I almost had a door. No, I did not. No, listen, anybody in the two three or four is like you're going to say it's an endorsement. So what am I going to have to do? No, but two. I mean, find that I'll bump Cosby back up to two. And that Nambla. I'm an endorsement Cosby now. That Nambla cruise is kind of going to be like the hospice cruise because you're not all those little boys are not going to surprise me. This is what you can do when you don't have a big show, right? AMC doesn't give a fuck about what I say. I'm so under their radar. They don't give a shit. Is there any way to combine all the cruises? There you go. You know, just a giant. Because I can't take them all. I'll do them all at once. Well, definitely if you combine the area nation, Nambla, or children, or if you combine the kids and the Nambla cruise, you're saving a lot of problems in the long run. And the disposal almost becomes work to that point. And then you put area nation and Bill Cosby together. That's not going to work out well for him. Not for Cosby. He's going to get what he deserves. You know, I don't feel like I belong on any of the cruises. All right. I'm being honest. Okay. That was only the first question. If you don't want to answer that. Yeah, I'll ask one more. One more. One more. We want to get to all that here for sure. You know, I'll ask two more because this one's real quick. If you were in charge of my tombstone appetite, right? Would you write, where is it? Unwanted, uninvited, a burden. You know what I'm saying? Yeah. It's either that or to trust a hunchback fully is to invite trouble. Shoes between those two. Yeah. Am I telling you? What's the first one again? I would choose the second one because at least the second one has some humor to it. The first one just me. But you don't think like a hunchback will be walking through the cemetery to his, his, his relatives. Well, you know, you can't judge a hunchback. Can't judge a hunchback. It's a lot. Cover. You're supposed to do this in a truck, right? They ripped their hump. Let me ask you a question. You want to talk about something like a fun or whatever? Okay, this will be fun. All right. Oh, peak. Why are you peaking? We're fine. Okay, you have to do one of these two things. You all got to do them both though. You know that's not a beer, right? Okay, one of these two things. All right, good people. You either have to leak pictures of yourself hiding in a porta-potty like that little girl in Shindler's list. To TMZ, now when you're on the show. Or you have to tweet a threat to the president from your sister's phone. Which sister? Can I just go back on the Namla Cruz? You're going to get back on the boat? I tweet from my sister's phone. For sure. Yeah. I would do that. I wouldn't even feel guilty about it. Look good for you. This year's a back story there. Sometimes I could take them and leave them. We should compare sister stories. I hate my sister. I mean, I hate her with a passion. No, yeah, I don't hate my sister's like you hate you. I don't hate my sister's. See, I have to say that. I have to say that. These are guys that don't hate my sister's. These are not, this is not an only upset. You're quite as used to as me, my friend. These are ants. They get it. They get the joke. I know. I'll be here if they didn't get it. Okay. Do you done what you're prepared to? We start the roller? I'm done with the notebook. Oh no, there's something else. Oh, you got something else? Maybe you want to bring somebody else up for it. I don't know. Do we have one more person coming out? Or no? Is this play? We have Jay. We have Jay. We don't. We're Jay or Dom, whoever. Whoever. I mean, if they both want to hear this, I found it interesting. I found it fucking really interesting. Why don't we bring them out? Yeah, we have to find it. Who's the extra bomb? You want to come out, Dom? You guys, we got Big J. Olkerson and Dom Arrero with us. Thank you. Guys, come on, Dom and Jay. Hey. No, please, you stand. I'm good stand. Yeah. All right. Stop peeking, so. [LAUGHTER] Boy, this guy's a real starburst. [LAUGHTER] Mark, there's no ghost. [LAUGHTER] There you go. Yeah. Yeah, there you go. Hey, Tom, watch the rest of America. [LAUGHTER] It's as if people don't work on the book. When it's like-- So what are you guys doing? --the shit the toilets clogged up. I'll be right back. [LAUGHTER] Cute. You don't have to do that. I'm playing a joke on him when he's gone. I let him walk it off. He's tatered. He can't hear us right now. The next five things he says just don't even-- don't lay off, don't make a sound. [LAUGHTER] As a matter of fact, don't lay up at him for the whole show. [LAUGHTER] [LAUGHTER] He's tripping balls. He won't even know. [LAUGHTER] Don't fuck this up. [LAUGHTER] Oh, any brush or beer. Oh, my god, thank you, buddy. [LAUGHTER] Follow the bin. I don't like-- Look, look, look, look. Oh, there we go. Now, my right side. Oh, look, look, look. Look, look, look. Just like that. [LAUGHTER] Yes. [LAUGHTER] What the fuck did we walk out to? [LAUGHTER] They must have been a trigger from this one. I didn't mean to do that. Sorry, if I just had it at the short. And that was a mistake. I feel so good that I'm bringing out the worst in you, too. That was a total mistake. It's fine. It could stay. We're all OK. So what is your story? So anyway, last night, I'm hanging around with two friends of mine, Sierra and Kelly. We're talking about a whole bunch of different stuff. And they're here. They're here somewhere. Where are they? Sierra and Kelly. Right down here, these are the two that are responsible for this next little bit. Because over the years, I've cared less and less about what's on the internet. I don't really go and look at the tabloid shit anymore. Like I used to just to get revved up and angry. But what I didn't know I was missing was that there's a practical Joker's fan fiction. That is written by 15-year-old girls and 50-year-old women. And the stories are kind of the same. It all ends up with marrying you guys or something. But then-- This is you being-- I can't tell if he's making a joke. No, I-- Is this dead serious? I'm dead. It's printed out. I didn't write it. OK. So as it turns out, I guess what's it called again? Like real-life fan fiction? RPF. She's so dorky. She does. Real-ish. Real person fan fiction. Now this is, I guess, it's a subgenre of porn that known as IJ Smuck. And it's-- Wow. Stories. This story involves me fucking him. I want to end this bit right now. No. Are you sure? You guys have arrived. It is crazy how many stories are up there about you guys making out having sex, like-- Being in love with each other. With each other or with the person that writes it, like, I'm so confused. With each other. These women are writing stories about us having sex with each other? Maybe we'll see. But the intent is to-- wait, we hold on a second. This is confusing. Are they like aspiring writers? I don't know. Are they crazy people? I don't know. What would you say? You would-- like, maybe they're aspiring writers. And this is-- Is it supposed to be comedic? Yeah, there's nothing funny about it, as you'll see. So you tell me a 15 year old girl takes her time writing stories about us having sex as that's supposed to be comedic and it's just supposed to. Who is she writing for? My older? Yeah. [laughter] No, I don't understand it. Maybe hearing it will help me understand it. Yeah, I mean, I found this out less than 24 hours ago. The toy brothers go that this whole other world exists where you guys are being written into stories that it's not very praying yet. I'm not sure I understand what's going on. The writing of it, the writing of it I can almost understand because everybody has an artistic prism that they need to represent. Why are you looking at me? [laughter] Right. Go look at me like that. And everybody has a right to express that, but what is the intended audience? [laughter] Up, down. It's my guarantee by the end of the show there's some fan fiction about you and Dom now. But I mean, towards the end, but the end goal of it is the publisher being like somebody is going to read this and get sexually turned on by this? I would say that that's actually happened if you read some of the comments. Oh, let's see what happens. Is comments? Oh, yeah. [laughter] What, where does this exist on the dark? There's rants and raves, buddy. All right. All right. So back when you're not flattered. I don't know. Well, I'll get flattered after I understand it. I'm still very confused. What's not to understand? Some people wrote a fake story about you blowing Q and sucking each other's dicks and shit and then people jerk off to it. Wait, Sal? Yeah, guys. I don't understand that. Wait, Sal's blowing me? It's pretty cut in truth. Oh, it sounds great. Well, Q runs his finger, Sue Souse, Paige Boyhair. I'm going to reserve comments. I'll tell them that I hear. Okay. Well, this is part of the first one and this has nothing to do with you, Q. This is Sal and Murray. Oh, I get it. I get it now. It's weird. The first sentence kind of starts out as a stage direction. Like we were now facing Q and Joe as they could tell Murr had known something was going on and I knew what it was. Oh, this is from your perspective. Sal, I'm sorry. You know you just got busted. According to this, right? Hey, Murr, but you okay, ask you. I need to tell you guys something. He said, well, what is it, Ash Joe? I love, he got off my cell kissing him again. He loves me. He said pulling away. All right. So then there's a bunch of stuff and Murray blushes. He's like, you know, and then I don't know where Sal says, come on over to my house later. I'll show you what a beating is. That's fantastic. I wish I could write this good. I didn't know where he says it. Dude, you have no idea. I was up till 4, 4, 30 in the morning, 5 with these two. He's like, holy shit, this is mind blowing this stuff. How do you see a beating, baby? You're now your silently reading. This is not fair. No, I'm really confused. This is weird, man. A little bit. You've gone blue. Okay. So now they're at a-- It's littered with spelling hours also. Yeah, yeah. So now, Sal, you guys get back to your bedroom. It was clean, bookstack, night sleep. Bed was made. Dresser was well organized. That's Sal. Now, this is kind of my favorite part if I had to pick one. So Mary comes in, Sal walked in and shut the door behind him and locked it. So where do we begin, he asks, cornering, Mer? You know what I like, Virgin's. They usually have bigger load to blow. I like your cross checking at all. So you know, I don't know what's scarier. This is a 50-year-old girl riding or a 50-year-old woman riding. So yeah, you guys start hugging a little bit. And then you say, this is just a warm-up. Sal said in his sexy tone, as he likes to call it. He climbed on top of Merd where they were face to face. This come by with a ship rocking. I'm about to projectile mom and everywhere. So it was almost like a strip tease. Everybody's very excited. Now this is where it gets a little bit weird, right? Oh, now. Now is when it gets weird. Now don't tell me more misspellings. This is where the spell-- like they must have been like, oh, fuck, they're trying to spell that. They spell fair, T-A-G-I-N. So Sal puts on his rubber. And-- Well, safe sex is always-- Well, right. This is where like, you're going to learn that Sal is not the nice guy you think he is. So he puts on a rubber and then Murray tries to reject him but was cut off by Sal. Sal said, "Murr with a red face." Sal had rested his beefy hand on Murray's chest, which he seemed to enjoy. This is where it gets a little bit fucked up. Sal. Sal now gets fucked up. Sal, stop. He said in between breaths. This continued for over an hour. Sal was-- He was just it. I mean, he begged you to stop for an hour. That's all. He can last that long while the guys are like, please. I know you. I'm going to have to see you tomorrow. You're like, fuck, you take this starburst. Get the fucking taste out of your mouth. So Murray was on the verge of breaking like the Hoover Dam. Ah, Sal, stop. He shouted, he finally released his load onto his own body. And this was a bit more than Sal expected. What's next is so gross? I don't even know if I would read it. We released it. Murray is so-- He's so-- All right, are you ready, Sal? He's got goosebumps. He does. I'm freaking out. Well, since it was a bit more than you expected, you stuck your tongue out and you cleaned Murray's body. [LAUGHTER] Oh, he making him horny again. [LAUGHTER] So how was it, Sal, asked? I liked it. He just ate his-- he just ate his-- Reptome. I was bail on bail-repicked him. How was it? Yeah. What's the answer? Murray says that he liked it. I liked it. I liked it, Murray, applied. Told you your wood, Sal said grinning. [LAUGHTER] It's all right. Hey, Sal, at least you were the top, dude. That's pretty cool. I could have went way worse for you. Wow. Could you ask me about weird cruises? [LAUGHTER] Now, here's a couple comments. Are they running-- Oh, young kids in the audience right now? Not anymore. But not now, by this point. Suddenly Gilbert's the clean act. OMG, that was hot. Are you saying that or are you reading that? [LAUGHTER] That was written, that was a written comment. Now, you might want to give-- be like, OK, you know what, we'll do the starburst, but the fans have a request. I wish this happened on the show for real. [LAUGHTER] Are you people amongst us? Has anyone here ever wrote something like this? And if you have the courage to just explain it to me-- Oh, yes. It's James Murray. [APPLAUSE] As far-- did you write this? Did you have a name sweet sweet Sarah? [LAUGHTER] I don't know even now. I don't know, Marloseo. What the fuck did you get here? Why don't you get here also like just dead center right in front of us, you know? You're just like your ninja. Then there's another one. Oh, it goes on? Wait, how do you feel about this? I think I-- [COUGHING] [LAUGHTER] I mean, you kind of brought it on yourself when somebody says, I'm going to teach you how to take a beating, and you're like, all right, let's go. [LAUGHTER] At this one, this is a little bit more romantic, because it takes place at a wedding. L.A. Oh, this is a new story, new author. This is totally new, yeah. New characters? All new characters. Plus some of the most beloved characters from the story before retirement. [laughter] It's just a sequel of sorts. [laughter] But what about all of me by John Legend? All of me? I don't know that John. Sure, you know that song? Do I? How does it go? All of me, those, all of us. Oh, okay, I've heard that. Because that's for whatever reason. He's wearing a King Diamond T-shirt. You think he knows John Legend? [laughter] He'll be your audience now. Yeah. That sort of set the romantic tone, but this one, a paraphrase a little bit, but a Q and Sal, you know, have wanted to make love for quite some time. [laughter] They don't want Marin Jo to find out. Well, no. I mean, why would you? Right. [laughter] But even though you don't want anyone to find out, you're at a wedding and you're dancing with each other and kissing. [laughter] That's not the way to stay under the radar, boys. He was sweating. I was sweating. This thing's lit with plot holes. Yeah. I mean, this may be a first draft, so we don't know. I'm still waiting for the blue pages to come in. Slow dancing. Fear slow dancing. But everybody's giving us the piss because they're the funny guys. Practical joke. No, the plane that joke like this. They're really like pranksters. No, they're not. They're so far. They're so far. What's going on here? Look at those guys pranking each other up the edge. Yeah. [laughter] Now, Sal, the romantic, you really don't know what you do to me. Do you, Sal, murmur? Or what I see whenever I look at you? You couldn't speak. His lungs no longer worked. And it was taking all of his energy to not allow the tears that were forcing the way to fall out. Isn't that romantic? That's so sweet, rather than like fucking man-handling poor Murray. I mean, god damn. I mean, that's who I wanted. Yeah. He was being coy, wasn't he? Just off the hook. You couldn't speak. All you do is my shake his head. Okay, okay, so I took a deep breath before exhaling. You make me want to be a better person just by looking my way. [laughter] Wait, who said that? That's what Sal's saying to you. Huh. I said, "You make me want to be a better person just by looking my way." I look at you and it makes you want to be a better person. That's so nice. It is so far among boardedness. You take my breath away whenever you smile. That's very nice. I don't have a problem with that. I could compartmentalize the sexuality. Here's the part where maybe you should just take Zanex like I do. When my anxiety threatens to destroy me, your voice slows everything down and allows me to breathe. [laughter] The weird thing is the person is a good writer and they're taking the time writing this. I understand. Now you're cup in the back of Q's next about the back of Q's neck. I'm sorry. And that old fucking temper tantrum cell has flares up. [laughter] And what I see, fuck, what I see is a beautiful man who hates himself whenever he looks in the mirror because too many people. Wait, what? This person doesn't know how accurate they are. Wait a second. Too many people have led you to believe that you're not worthy of love, even though you are worthy. [laughter] You want a beating? [laughter] So in the middle of a romantic moment. Yeah, he starts chiding you. My self confidence starts to get dissaught. This has nothing to do with sexuality and everything to do with me just being a good friend to you. Oh, yeah. It's so angry. So then you guys cup each other's faces for a few paragraphs. You dance for a couple more paragraphs. We're dancing? Yeah, of course. You're dancing to John Legend's song. This is all happening to our bats? Yeah, are you not listening? I know you have a power phrase. I don't know it's still at the wedding or wherever we are. You then go on to reinforce the Quinnis worthy of love. You want to spend the rest of your life reminding him of that. Can I say something? Yeah, go on. We're at dinner. We're at dinner. And Q says to me, "I want to go up and do some improvs. I've got to show." Do some improvs. This is the fucking improvs. [laughter] We're up to guys blowing each other. This is how far we're coming. This is how life ends. The middle of the ocean is talking about. You guys want to be getting some of this pie? Where is face when he's coming? It's coming. Where's the dirty part? Let me tell you something about the Nambler. [laughter] The upside of Nambler. Some of those kids are fucking hot. Anyway, good. I'm sorry. I had to say something. I came all the way up the steps. We are doing the improv as soon as the storm opens. I'm not doing fucking anything with this show. I'm gonna forget it. You're kind of right, Dom. This is a little bit too romantic for my taste. They're cupping each other's faces like crazy. But Q, finally I guess with a burst of self-confidence, surged forward and finally, finally kissed self. Everything that he had. In front of all the wedding guests. Of course, you're dancing to John Legend. Asshole. We just covered that. Follow the story. For long song? Yeah. Thank you, sir. You're really very good. Thank you very much. Then you guys start worrying that it may affect your friendship. Let's see. Okay, then the music ended. The music ended. You pull apart and everybody was watching you. It started to clap and cheer. They heard us over the John Legend. They didn't hear you. You guys are making out and like this. Yeah. We all knew what that guy says. I don't get this. Like salimedially blushed. So Q grabbed his hand to stop him from freaking out of the sudden in attention. Maybe you're just like, it's okay, so. Yeah. There's no way they couldn't know. It's not that dark in here. And then Quinn, like Quinn suddenly gets pissed. I don't know where. What are you all looking at? You're not that cute, complained. You guys finally get your fucking act together. That's what Joe called out. Daddo's there. Why would he not be invited to the wedding? Who's wedding is this? I don't know where he's. Oh, it's Murray. And this is where you're, I think you really are going to find a new appreciation for Joe and Murray because they set this whole thing up. They set it into motion because they knew for so long you guys wanted each other. All you needed was a push. So he slipped the DJ a 20 to get him to change the song as soon as you two asked for a started dancing. Like why? Why they call you names? I don't know why. You guys in the middle of Q-Browned? What am I saying? Of course you meddled. It was for your own good, buddy, my answer. I'm surprised your balls didn't fall off. They've been blue for so long, Joe. Edded. I'm not sure if I should be grateful or murder you both, Sel Grumbled. I'm sure the bride is like, this is my day. (Laughter) Is it supposed to be my special day? Okay, don't worry, buddy. They can always be at their homes, Q-sad, smirking. Why? What are you planning, Murr, question narrowing his eyes? We're going to show you our gratitude by fucking on your beds, of course. Don't you dare, Murr, squealed. And the other three laughed, although Q noticed that Joe looked a little paler all of a sudden. Don't tell what happened. Fing! (Laughter) Do you want to clave out? Why are you getting pale? I don't know. Oh, you got to, do you want me to finish this? This is such a dumb shit. I want to know why you chose to say. Chih-la-sai. Should we start the main events? No, let's do this for 20 more minutes. No. (Laughter) If we got it. See, Dom, I went to your show the other day and you were like, "I wish I could just do five minutes and walk away." If you just read I.J. Smut porn? Dude, the time flies. It certainly does. Thank you. All right, let's take a quick break. We only got one ad this week, but it's a good one. It's Casper. And in the past, tell them Steve Davis relied on a lot of highly produced ads to try to get those conversions. But I think I'm leaning more towards testimonial ads. Last week we had the Miandi's. This week we're going to get testimonial from Casper. And we're going to get that testimonial from a listener. Tell them Steve, they've got this email a couple months ago. I'd like to read it to you. Dear TSD, my wife was eight months pregnant with our first child. And she was having a very tough time sleeping. I decided to splurge and pick up Casper's queen size mattress using the TSD code, of course. And I wanted to let you know, he was the best night's sleep we both have had in quite some time. I've been a listener since 2011, in my opinion, this is the best product that you have recommended on the podcast to date. I understand that this is a much more expensive than usual product that you promote. And it is very likely tough for listeners to purchase if they aren't in the market for a mattress. But I want to let you and every listener know it is worth every penny. Please feel free to use this in an upcoming ad if you're looking for some material. This product would sell itself if people could understand how fantastic it really is. So take it from a fellow listener. Casper is the most comfortable mattress bar none. Even spring mattress doesn't hold a candle to the Casper. So let me give you some deets if you need them. in the market for a mattress, you go to www.casper.com/tesd and using the promo code tesd you get 50 bucks off. And obsessively engineered mattress at a shockingly fair price, just the right sink, just the right bounce, two technologies, latex foam and memory foam come together for better nights and brighter days. Risk free trial or return policy, you just try sleeping on a Casper for 100 days for 3 delivery and painless returns. It's made in America, $500 for a twin size mattress and $950 for a king size mattress. Comparing that to industry averages, that's an outstanding price point. Remember, www.casper.com/tesd and use that promo code tesd. Thank you. Back to the show. Do you who downloaded the Tel Institute game Christmas episode? Anybody here? So you guys are aware of Rolleroll. For those of you that are not, Rolleroll was a Christian themed board game in the 1970s. That was put out. That is two dice. One die determines who you are. The other die determines where you are. And then there's a card that will tell you what you're acting out in that scene. So it could be like, you know, mother daughter and mother is, and the card could say like one of them is having an abortion and the other one is talking them out of it. It's fucking insane. The fact that they released this goddamn board game is so mind blowing and so indicted of the drugs they had in the 70s. It's fucking out of real. But the Christian ideology was as nutty as it was, you know, say Roman times. It kind of started slowing down in the 70s, but it didn't quite stop. I mean, there's only one way to go about this. And that's to get the dice to the play some Rolleroll. Are you guys ready to roll the dice? Sure. This was a weird transition. We went from South, but fucking all of his friends and now we're playing a Christian board game. I got a, I got a, we got to pick up the pace. I got to show it at 730 tomorrow night. Oh, you have the actual game. Are you getting me? Wal-Flan again went on eBay and got this for like nine bucks. Oh my god. Rolleroll, a life-changing experience. In containing it, fighting, not through your work. Here we go. It's amazing how alcohol doesn't affect you. Hold on once. I'm going to set this up. You guys keep going. Show it back to my room and jerk off to see you then. Or BBC. Maybe harder to rock. If there's one thing Christians don't know how to do, it's put together like a good set of dice. Do you see a Jews? They know how to do it. Yeah. Holy shit. Jews are like us, but smarter. You could have. We could have done like preset this off. Nah, just had a thought, but don't worry about it. Come on man. He's been rattled after all this fan. It's fans. By the way, great job. It's not laughing anything he does. That one's quite sure. I remember it being easier. Did you own this game when you were a kid? No, I'd never heard of it. Walt went on looking for, because we did the Christmas Special Walt went on looking for Christian games on eBay and this is what popped up. It's going to be fun. Just talk amongst yourselves for about 30 minutes. Get to know each other. All right. Now you can't possibly roll this from this height or it'll just shatter. They're mad at us. The shittiest plastic. I think somebody else is going to have to get the mic off the room. I don't understand exactly what we do. We're going to do it. Don't worry about it. Jiggy's thing. This is where he's going to go. You're going to roll the blue dice to tell you who you are. You're going to roll the red dice to tell you who you are. I'm going to give you the situation that the two of you are in. Okay? Roll it. Roll it around the ground. You're out of wedding dancing to John Legend. That's great. So, Dom, you are a middle-aged man. I'm sorry. That's me as a middle-aged man. I'm like two months away from death. Middle-aged man. But why don't you roll something that you're not? You are a middle-aged man. Like handsome. All right. Jay, you are the neighbor lady. Blue is certain that there is life after death and attempts to convince red of that fact. Red who is a middle-aged man. Constantly to play this part. Where is constantly about dying and is skeptical? What century is it that a middle-aged man is constantly like? It could be the grip. It could be bubonic plague. Red is worried about death and is skeptical about life. This blue starts the middle-aged neighbor lady. What is blue? A neighbor lady. You're a neighbor lady and you're a middle-aged man. Yes. Can I just because I didn't hear you. We're arguing about life after death. Yes. Oh, this is hilarious. So Jay, just imagine yourself as Carrie White's mother and Carrie. You're that religious man. Yes. I'm going to keep my donor wife in a closet. You don't like that scenario? No, yeah. Because I got another one for you. Please. I'll make it a little easier for you. I'm going to ease you. Red. I'm going to lay a smear. Red having just been told that he has only six months to live. Shaz his fear of death with blue, a neighbor lady. Blue loves red and tries to comfort and offer hope. Red starts. Here comes a fan fiction. Tom, we're going to be a timer fool before this is over. All right. But I'm trying to convince him that there's life out of that. Don't worry. He's fucking freaked out. He's only got six months to live. All right. He's going to waste some of that time. Why is there a timer? Well, you got 30 seconds. Okay. I'm going to use the stopwatch because I think that's where I'm feeling it. I'm feeling it. I'm feeling it. I'm going to go. Nelly, my lovely neighbor, do I look pale to you? You sure as shit, dude. What the fuck's happening over there? I don't know how noise is. I don't know. It may seem me before, but I do stand up, and I feel like I'm dying. How do I look to you? Holy Christ, you look like shit. Oh, God, I'm up from a ship. Shit is an upgrade for the way I've been feeling. You know, I only got a couple of months to live, but it seems like it's all happening right now. Hey, don't even sweat it. You're going to come back as a beautiful unicorn or a butterfly or something gay like that. Speaking of gay, did you hear about Sal and Marie? I've been flicking my bean of that story for the past month. That's why I got this weird bowler's problem glove on. I'd like to talk, but I'm already dead. And boom, man, 60 seconds. Do work, boys. All right, callbacks. We had callbacks in that. That was pros. I roll the dice one more time. You guys are going back in. Well, what about you? No, this is way too fun for everybody. Oh, you guys don't do it. I was sad. You want to try? You want to be glue-dice? Thank you for the world. Give it a win. You'll be right. Sal will be glue. All right. All right. Here we go. It's just roll them dice. Don't we? I mean, you're a doms-up line person. This house has a got any better. And your reds father. Okay. So what we have here? You have a blind son. Red believes that a member of the church is demon possessed because of him. His or her strange behavior. Red asks blue to send for an exorcist. Blue does not believe in demons and feels that the individuals should see a psychiatrist. Okay. So your boss game is the best game I've ever seen. It should be at every party. All right. So just to do the Quigory Gap father, son, blind. You feel that a member of your church is possessed by a demon and feels that the exorcist should be called for. You think he's not saying he's a psychiatrist and a scene. Oh, dad, what a beautiful day you cock, suck it. I hear it must be beautiful out. I wish I could see it. How's it looked from your vantage point? With your fancy eyes and shit. Turn around, Chad. You're talking to the arm. Dad, can you give me a bath? I feel dirty inside. I feel like like sometimes it's possessed by a devil and whatnot. It's on your 33. Up. Dad, dad don't take so long. He went on. I will book. No, I give you a bath and there we go. We could talk about demons or, you know, why would we give you a bath, true? (audience laughing) I mean, you gotta take a bath. You're the best pop of blind kid I've ever had. You make me feel like seeing again. Turn around, you're talking to the arm wall. I was wondering what that smell was, Dad. I thought it was you. Anyway, I gotta go. I gotta go talk to my neighbor about the dye. Come on, here, just get in here. The water is lukewarm, just like you're like, thanks. There's nothing bad here, by the way. Isn't that your aunt's blind son about it? Don't make it so hard. I wish I could see the tub my auntie. She's about fucking dead. (audience laughing) I don't mean to talk so much, but I got no other options. You're done. So what's this talk about, what's this talk about demons, Chad? Sorry, Dad, I can't hear either. (audience laughing) But I feel like the neighbors possessed. Well, that's just silly. There's no such thing as demons according to what I'm supposed to say. (audience laughing) Well, I edit. What did I tell you about demons? Well, you told me that if you said the wrong words, it did the wrong things, it didn't pay your name or dues. (audience laughing) You get possessed by demons. Is that true pop slough of my life? Daddy, oh, Dad. Now, the truth is I don't believe in demons. That was just a scare tactic. And I got one of my men. And I only have my blind son. I mean, like a tactic, a scare tactic. (audience laughing) Like a little, like a tactic you bang into the wall, God, I wish I could see, I would hug you right now. (audience laughing) It's the truth is I was lying about the demons. You won't get possessed by demons. I don't believe in demons. It's just the thing I do to keep you in check. I am still fearing you. Because the lack of I say this and not. So, religion is based on fear. Do you understand that? You should fear God. Yes, I do. God is in all loving, but punishing God. God is terrifying, but loving. Chad, turn around. You're talking to the same. (audience laughing) Thank you, Dad. Thank you for everything. For giving me birth and giving me life and blindness. (audience laughing) Oh, hold on, Chad. Don't look now. Whether the demon in the room. (audience laughing) Thank you, pops. And lights. All right. (audience laughing) It's a little weird. A little? Hold on. I want to fear. We need to, is Jiggy so here? Is Jiggy around? Jiggy. Check out. Jiggy's not around. All right, all right, it's almost stay around. KC Joes, KC Joes, are you around? Right. Get up here, buddy. Ladies and gentlemen, KC Joes. (audience cheering) Get up here, you're in prog master. Oh, that was spry. (audience laughing) All right, no, you're gonna be the loat. You're gonna be red. Okay. All right, you got a mic? I got one. Brian, do you wanna go or? No, I'll watch these guys. Yeah, I'm happy watching. Okay. By the way, I wrote all that fan fiction. That's what I do on the show. (audience laughing) Okay. Oh, okay. We got a role first. This is great, so role, yes. I know we find out. Here we go, do we? Hit him, do. All right. Oh, I can't be neighborly each other. I can't be neighborly again. Okay, no, we're all your teenage boy. We got you. And you are red girl. All right. Nice. (audience cheering) Come on. Sweet. There you go. I blew who's red's girl is a quiet director who prides herself on having a fine musical group. She only invites those who beautiful voices to join. Okay. Red is tone deaf, but loves to sing. He really wants very much to be in the choir and asks blue about joining. (laughing) Red starts. Did you catch that? They already got this. Where's like the religious debateness? They're a teenage couple. She runs a choir. He's tone deaf. Really wants to be in the choir and he approaches his girlfriend about it. There's a lot of responsibility for a teenage girl like myself. (laughing) I'm running a whole choir for Christ's sake. Do the part, do the part. Okay. And then red starts. Babe. Babe. It's me. I think it would be great to take our relationship to the next step. I think that I should be in your choir. No fucking way. (laughing) You're gonna look so weird in there mixed with all that urban youth that I have singing for me. (laughing) I think you know, I'm going through manhood. I'm becoming a boy. I'm becoming a man. (laughing) I'm a teenage boy. You're dating veteran boy. I'm gonna be going back. I have the Jack Disease from the Robin Williams movie. And look, I think I have a great voice. Listen, your Jack Disease is part of the reason I love you. I deal with your weird singing because you have a ridiculous-sized penis. (laughing) It's ridiculous. The size of it is abnormal. It's not even the length. It's just a ridiculous size. It's a ridiculous size. It's an off-dick on. It's insane. It's just a ridiculous shape. Almost a trapezoid if I hadn't described it. But that does not a good singer make. And this is a hard thing to tell you. But guy, I mean, how many people are coming out through these choir shows? If you could just fit me in. (laughing) I mean, no one would really care. I think it would really help our relationship. I can't fit you in double on Tangerope because you're not a good singer and because you have a trapezoid-shaped penis. (laughing) It's two reasons you will never fit in. This baby boy. (laughing) You're barking up the wrong tree. You shouldn't have fuck with a teenage girl with a responsibility to take on running a choir. (laughing) What? What? You're out of my league. What? Same scenario, kind of. This card came up. Blue belongs to a club that restricts membership to a person's of single race, of a type of race. Red, a member of this race, would like to join the club and ask the blue about it. So now it's the same scenario. But it's, I wanna, so I wanna-- You're an interracial couple. Yeah, it's like a black guy trying to come to his white girlfriend's house for Thanksgiving. That's it, exactly. I got it. All right. Hey. It's me, Ishmael. Can I join your KKK? First of all, kite get down a notch. Would you, you boy? (laughing) I can't hear you over that fucking, Jewey nose. (laughing) Could you spin a dreidel before you come in the room? You freak me out. (laughing) I'm not, what is it? I have to get to my agnostic front concerts. I think I can be an asset to your group. What do you, we don't need a counting, or a racial hate group. (laughing) I'm gonna move my promise. I'll balance your books. All right. Listen, I'll talk to the guys at the top so you can come in as treasurer, but you gotta stay off the books. (laughing) I love you. I wanna be with you. You're attractive. Why do you wanna be with me? You hate everything. Ishmael. You're my dirty little secret. I'm self-loathing also. I'm a self-loathing white supremist. (laughing) The most rarest of all breeds. (laughing) All right, all right, all right, all right. That was nice, look guys. Improv wizards. Oh shit. Who have, what scenarios have, what combinations haven't we done yet? You know what, we got a role. I think. No, no, no, I just mean the people of, of, of, Improviz. Got you on Bergeo here. Oh, Bergeo's here with Bergeo at. Where's Joey, Joe's in Bergeo? We gonna put you up with Dom around. He's right there, let me, it is Joe. Come on, James Murray sing right in the car. James Murray. Fuck yeah, you wanna come up buddy and roll the roll? Melody. Yeah, he's a Joe. Can I quickly say something about Joe in Bergeo? Because he's, he's actually, this clock is winding down. The first thing he did when he got off the boat in Cosmil was had an ice coffee. He brought that, he did. He had ice, Mexican ice and coffee. It's like the first thing you shouldn't do. Coffee alone gives people diarrhea, but he had Mexican ice coffee. This is, man. Nice. I'm the grand con Joe. I feel good. So far. Yeah, you're right, no shit. Yeah, no shit. All right. So, anyways, you guys know Joe in Bergeo? [APPLAUSE] Joe is a writer on a practical jogers. And he's JV Squad. Yeah, he is. [APPLAUSE] I'll what say you? And Joe is very, he is in practical jogers. Let's do the rollerboys. All right. That's how you ruin a game. It's father. I'm just a man. Man, person. We don't want to do what we already had. It gave Murray something. [LAUGHTER] Murray rolled a dice to play a role. And it said be a person. [LAUGHTER] No, don't fight. So Murray's a mother. Mother. And I'm a single grandmother. OK, all right. So here we go. So Murray is a young mother. And Casey, Joe, is a single grandmother. I'm a single grandmother. Oh my god, he's a single mother. grandmother. Okay, here we go. Are you guys ready for this hot fucking topic? Here we go. Oh, you guys are going to love this one. Red, the single mother, has had a difficult life and cannot understand why God allows suffering if he's really a God of love. So red is complained to blue, the grandmother. Blue attempts to explain to red the reasons why there is so much suffering in the world. Red starts fucking sad. The traffic is crazy. I don't get why God allows it, right? Grandma, what's up? The traffic's crazy. Where are you going? I was going to the store. God, there was closed. Why does God allow this? It's terrible. My life is on business works. They closed eventually. I know why God allow me to suffer like this. We got to can't talk right now. I'm going to a mixer. Why is God allow you to be single? I don't get it. You're so great. I chose to be single. I want God choice. You chose to be a spencer. I chose to be a single spencer and I'm black now. But you're a grandmother. Who's the father? I'm your grandmother and God's the father. So I'm married. No, you're married. I don't get it. Why would God take my son? Remember I had a son. I remember my grandson. Wait, what? Am I married? He crucified my son. Why would God do that? Well, that's why you want to travel. It's very optimistic. I'm talking about traffic in Jerusalem. This is a loaded conversation, sweetheart. I'm just trying to get ready for my singles mix. Can I come? You want to come for my singles mix? Yeah. Do you realize the age group that is primarily going to be at the singles mix? I could go for a sugar dad. It's going to be a sugar granddad sweet heart. It's the God I like. The Geriatric. I mean, I already have an old voice. Right. Let's go. Well, we shouldn't drive. So the traffic won't go good. Traffic's terrible. How are we going to get there? Why would God punish us like this, Gramps? That's why God invented a helicopter. You've been holding it out on me. I've got a helicopter in the back. You're leaving leading a single grandma that spends her life and you've got a helicopter. It's been top grade. You have so much and I have so little. Well, I don't believe in sharing, except for this one time when I will share my helicopter with you. What makes you so special that God gave you all these things? What? Did the Tyler run out on the sheet? Are you always supposed to convince each other of something? I have been texting during the intro of this video. They're on his off the stage. We only got two minutes to show. Ladies and gentlemen, James, it's a great show. Thank you. No, I see that one. All right. Listen, we've two minutes left before you dropped it. Before the inevitable catches up to us. The good news is that we're doing another show at exactly the same time tomorrow. Oh, yes. 11 tomorrow. I don't love it. It's 11. It's 11, but it doesn't matter what time it is. I won't be here. I won't roll the roll. Yes, you will. I'm jumping overboard after this. And tomorrow we're going to do what the show is pull up audience members for roll the roll too. So like tomorrow, we're going to do these a little bit differently. Thank you guys for going. Thank you to John. Don Marrera. Thank you to Big J. They get a KZ. They get a Joe. They get a sound. They get a ring. John, it's a show. Thank you, buddy. Thank you. You're falling apart right now. You're falling apart. I know. It's a sound. Can I come back to you room with you for a few minutes? Yeah, you're a piece asshole. I'm going to go get a brand new. Join us in Bar City with Cypher Sounds now. (rock music) (rock music) ♪ Silent hearts burning hearts ♪ ♪ The blood filled ♪ ♪ To which now ♪ ♪ To the end ♪ (rock music) (rock music) (rock music) (rock music) (rock music) ♪ Drinks are wide until the moon ♪ ♪ And the time ♪ ♪ Far to the fire ♪ ♪ And to fall ♪ (rock music) (whistling) This has been the production of SmartCo Internet Radio. Sir, only at smodcast.com. (rock music)