#2557 - Yakov Smirnoff

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And it's helping you progress towards what's better for you, like learning ways to connect with others, defining what you want, and yes, even tackling commitment issues. Sign up and get 10% off at betterhelp.com. That's betterhelp.com. Joe Rogan Podcast, check it out. The Joe Rogan Experience. Train by day, Joe Rogan Podcast by night, all day. Let's go, Yakov. What's happening, baby? How are you? I'm doing good. Good to see you. Nice to see you. I know, Jamie's snucking up on us. Bam! Just turn on. Bam! That way you don't have a chance to freak out. Thank you. What's in the bag? What do you got in there? Okay, so there are a couple of things. Oh, a couple of things. One is a piece of the mural that I painted at the Ground Zero, and I thought it would be interesting for you to have. You painted a mural at Ground Zero? Yeah. Oh, wow. So that was something, and I actually sent them, Paul Harvey did the rest of the story about that, and I sent them a video if they wanted to. Yeah, I don't know if we can play that, unfortunately. I think it's got, like, a copyright to it. Actually, I was in touch. We were told. Jamie, isn't that what they said? It would be tough. Yeah. Right. So there's the mural. There's a photo of the mural. Right, right. And it was, I was in touch with Paul Harvey Jr. asking if that would be okay, and they said it's fine, and they'll send it. Yeah, but I don't think they own it, you know what I'm saying? They own his voice, so. Right, but it's probably, if it's on Paul Harvey's television show, right? No, no, no. A radio show. It was a radio, yeah. Right, if it's on Paul Harvey's radio show, it's probably copywritten. Did we have a problem when we played the Taylor Sheridan one? Remember? We played that whole thing. It's just an issue? It's an issue. It's an issue. Don't sweat it. We don't want it. So anyway, you had a mural. Yeah, that's, and there was a couple of other little paraphernalia. You got to talk into the microphone. Sorry. That's all right. Yeah. You can wear headphones if you want, that way you can hear yourself. Yes. You don't have to. This is real. This is real? What do you mean? No, like, I watch you, and I'm in such an awe of what you were able to, your, your career, your trajectory, how you were able to sustain that longevity and then transition to this amazing voice. It's just, it's been an honor to know you and be here, so I'm, I'm a little nervous. Well, don't be nervous, because listen, it's all just dumb luck. There's a giant percentage of it that's dumb luck. That's a fact. I mean, I'm very persistent. That helps. Uh, this thing, this, the podcast, is a lot of it is luck. You know how people, like, talk about, like, having a vision board? Oh, I had a vision board, I imagined, and people say that to me all the time, like, I'm sure you did that with this show. I'm like, I didn't do anything of the sort. I just kept doing it, and it got big. But it's, uh, just people talking. Simple. Just like you and I talk in the green room. Yes. We're talking here. It's no big deal. It's just a bunch of people get to listen to it. Yes. Yes. Yes. It's nothing that spectacular. The spectacular thing. The spectacular thing is my guests. That's the fortunate thing. I'm the fortunate one, because I get to talk to so many cool people. Look at you with your fucking American flag on your, on your, uh, phone cover. Look at that. Yeah. Don't get fooled by the accent, ladies and gentlemen. Um, you know, we were talking about your story in the green room, and I was like, we have to do a podcast, because your, your story is so crazy how, when the wall fell, so did your career. Yes. Like, you had this massive career. I remember you from the Tonight Show. Yes. I remember you all the time. Yes. You know, in Russia, you always have these jokes about in Russia. Yes. And it was great, because, like, you were a Russian comedian doing stand-up in the United States. Yes. And then once, once the Soviet Union fell. Yes. The Letterman, uh, David Letterman had a top ten list of, uh, things that will now change that the Soviet Union is no longer there, and I made number one on the list. Yakov Smirnoff will be out of work. And I thought it was humorous, because I was living in Pacific Palisades next to Tom Hanks and Arnold Schwarzenegger. I mean, I thought American Dream will never end, and all of a sudden, it, it, six months later, none of my contracts in Las Vegas, Atlantic City, Reno, Tahoe, none of them were renewed. And I could not find work, literally. I mean, I tried back to clubs, and they wouldn't have me. They wouldn't have me either. What? Yeah. It was, um, the comparison, uh, there was, uh, Van Meter, uh, that was, uh, impersonator of John F. Kennedy. Um, he was, um, um, an, an impersonator. It was very popular at that time. And then after the assassination, uh, assassination, his career went nowhere right away. And so somewhat, in, in some way. It was similar to that. That, uh, I was associated with the Soviet Union, and my humor was associated with that. And it was helping, I was helping, um, President Reagan write jokes for his speeches for when he would go to Moscow. Um, you have a picture somewhere, Jamie, of, I mean, it was amazing, all of a sudden, I was like a. I was like a joke supplier for the White House. And it was, uh, my career was just growing higher and higher, and all of a sudden, it was gone. And I wasn't. That doesn't make any sense. I mean, you still had great jokes. Yeah. And I'm sure people still wanted to see you. That's what didn't make any sense. It wasn't, I guess, I wasn't relevant, because they associated me so much with that. And so I started, after not having work, uh, and not being able to pay mortgage, I started looking for a place where they did not know that the Soviet Union collapsed, and I ended up in Branson, Missouri. I joke about this in my show, but it was a blessing in disguise, because I was, all of a sudden, my, uh, my humor was family-friendly. And, uh. Uh-huh. Uh-huh. And, uh, this town is very much like that. And they embraced me, and I, I mean, it wasn't right away, but it grew and grew and grew. Wow. And what is Branson like? Because I would always hear about it, like, it was always, like, we would hear about it in L.A., that it was this, like, freaky Bible town, that it's, like, creationist museums and stuff like that, like, here's a reconstruction of the Ark. Like, that's the kind of stuff that you would hear. Obviously, I never went. So, I don't know. Yeah. Yeah. Um, I didn't want to go to Branson, okay? I was living in L.A. I didn't, I mean, I. Did you move to Missouri? Eventually, I had to, yeah, because I, I had to sell my house. I mean, the whole thing went. Yeah. So, uh, what happened is, I didn't have, I didn't know where to go. I mean, it literally was scary. I have two little kids at that time, and I can't find work. So, my agent calls me, and he said, Will Nelson is doing this Farm Aid concert. And would you like to co-host with him? And I didn't have it. You know, I said, sure, but I don't think farmers would know who I am. And I got there, 50,000 people. I did my set, and they gave me a standing ovation. And I went like, wow, this is, I didn't expect that. So I go to say goodbye and say thank you to Willie. And I open the door, and the smoke comes out. And I was proud to say that I, you know, I didn't do drugs. But after I opened that door, I couldn't say that anymore. So through the smoke, he goes, Yaakov, you should go to Branson. They'll love you there. And I was like, okay, I heard about it, but I was not sure. So I go to Branson just to check it out. And it's March of 2000. It's 1993. And I've been struggling now for two years after the Soviet Union collapsed. And I go in, and I walk into one of the shows. And it was Soji Tabuchi's show. It was a Japanese fiddle player that was just playing country music. I didn't know about him. And I walk in, and it's a matinee, and there are 2,000 people. And I'm in that room. Whoa. And I'm going, what is going on? Right? This is crazy. I was in Vegas. I didn't see. So then I go in the Williams show, and it's the same thing. 2,000 people, full. And I'm going, well, if they can do this, I can do it as well. And so in May, I rented a small theater, and I just set my shop there, put my name on the wall. And I got, for a show, 17 people came in. And I'm going, oh, boy, I don't have a place to go, but this is not going to work. But then I started doing, I was pretty creative. I started, I said, I'm going to serve breakfast in the showroom. I'll call it yuck in a box. And I'm just going to make my mother recipe. I'm going to make a breakfast, and people will pass it, eat, and hopefully more people will come. Wow. So I would do two shows a day in the morning and in the evening, dinner and breakfast. And little by little, it grew, it grew, it grew. And then a year later, my average was like 400 people a show. And then the buses, that's the big business there. It's the people come by bus in those days, a lot of them. And they would just discovered me. And I started to become more and more popular. And then I bought 2,000 seat theater. And now I entertain over 6 million people there. And it became, yeah, this is kind of, it's. That's your theater. Yeah. Look at you. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So it's been a very successful journey overall. I'm, you know, I'm kind of the only celebrity or national known person there now. Wow. And so how often do you do shows there? Now I got down to like 30 shows a year towards fall. But I used to do 400 a year. Just to make more money. And people were coming. And I, it worked out for me. Well, good for you for adapting. I'm sure that must have been very nerve wracking. It was. Especially with young children. Big time. And you're, you know, from another country. You come to America. You're killing it. You think, oh, my God, I'm the American dream. Right. This is incredible. And then it's nightmare all of a sudden. And you don't know what to do. That's the problem with the world before social media. Right. Because before social media, like, you couldn't just put some clips out there and show that you're still performing and still going places. Yeah. Yeah. Because back then there was like a narrative. And if that narrative got out, you were done. You know, so the narrative was so. Yeah, it was canceled. And I didn't have anything to do with it. It's not like I had a scandal or something. It just I was helping Reagan to chisel the wall down. But there was a writing in the wall that I didn't see. It says get a get a day job, you know, and I didn't see it. Right. So that's how it happened. It's amazing that you found Branson. And what would happen if you didn't? That's what's really crazy. Like, what do you think you would have been able to figure out a way to tour? And was it that clubs wouldn't book you or people wouldn't come? Both. Some because people were not buying tickets. The clubs didn't book me. And the whole effect is just, you know. So it was just the fall of the Soviet Union that people got in their mind. Oh, Yakov is done. Yeah. Wow. It was that quick. That's what's fucked up about it is because, like, you have very funny jokes. I did. Like, you're a good comic. It's like the idea that you can't be a great comic and talk about other stuff is so stupid. But what happened, it was an evolution for me. I think that I look back and I'm going, thank you for this, because it. It was kind of a one note tune. And then it made me, forced me to go, OK, that topic is not necessarily the right thing right now. It's not. Nobody cares because Soviet Union not there and nobody's scared of it because I was kind of like, you know, it was a headache from, you know, or the pain in the butt. And then after swelling and itching went away, you don't need it anymore. Right. So I went into it. That also coincided with my divorce. And I was struggling trying to figure out what direction do I go. And I realized that this. I was helping the cold. War to end in some ways by being in involved with Reagan and and helping with that. And when when that happened, I figured, you know, my divorce is happening. I know laughter helped the world become a better place. Why is there laughter in the beginning of the relationship with men and women? And then when there's divorce. The only people laughing are attorneys. And I put that question to my audience. So it became kind of like my laboratory of laughter. I just start asking people, I said, how many of you remember laughter being part of that honeymoon stage of your relationship? And they all applaud. And then I go, how many of you go on the second date if you didn't have laughter on the first date and no one applauded? So I became like, this is kind of a. Universal thing that I was my dad was an engineer and inventor. So my brain is kind of constantly I'm looking for reverse engineering. Why is it that laughter goes away in the relationship? So as comedians, we gauge our relationship with the audience with laughter every time. Did the relationship fall apart because you had to move to Missouri? Well, was it just challenges? Yeah. I think it added to this, but I think I was looking for the root of this more like, what is that that I am missing that I didn't do because, you know, I was. You had a gimmick. I had a gimmick. Yeah. But but that was with my audience. What was happening with my wife? Why was that falling apart? So I start seeing the parallel and the kids were little at that time. And I. I was trying to explain to them what was going on. And I can show you what I did. I brought this with me. It's I showed this to, I know, show and tell. I brought it for my, I started, I took magnets and I was showing my kids. I said, look, mommy and daddy and we attracted one another and we had you. And we had love and laughter and what was happening. And then something happened. And I don't know if you can show it, Jamie. There's people listening as well. Okay. Oh, okay. So the magnets, they attract. But then when things don't go well, they repel. So I was going, what is it that attracting us and what is it that's repelling us? And then after doing this and I went to University of Pennsylvania, got my. I THINK IT'S IMPORTANT TO BE ABLE TO TALK ABOUT IT. Master's degree in psychology, got my doctorate degree at Pepperdine. I mean, I was digging in. You did all this while you were doing Branson? While I was performing Branson, yeah. How were you doing that? I would travel. I would just go do a weekend, just I would take my schedule, make it the way I wanted, and whatever I had to do, I would just travel to Pennsylvania and do that. And you were taking in-person classes? Yeah, yeah. But how were you doing that if you were on the weekends? On the weekends, there were classes, yes. Wow. So you would work all week and then fly on the weekends. Why were you doing that? Well, it's interesting. I was searching for a purpose. I think that was I noticed something that was universal, and I wanted to prove that scientifically to myself. And I did because it was important to me. And what I figured out, and as a comedian, you'll understand that every time we tell a joke, where the setup is we're meeting their needs. They're interested in that topic. You and I talked in the green room like you need more topics, for example, for your one hour more to add. And so the topics that you're looking. For are the you're meeting the needs of people they want, they don't curious and then your humor is the punch line and that creates laughter. If you don't meet their needs, if they're not interested, then your humor doesn't matter much. So in the relationship, the same thing happens. So if I put this and I know people are listening, but they they can maybe picture that if you put needs. In the middle, then you you're talking about magnets, you got to remember, a lot of these people are listening. OK, so I'm going to I'm going to abandon that. Yeah, it's bad. This episode is brought to you by Squarespace. There's no excuse for a bad website anymore. Squarespace makes sure of that. Squarespace is a website builder gets you something that looks genuinely professional in just a few clicks. No design skills required. You can lock down your domain, build something. That actually looks like you and keep it all protected in one place. Head to Squarespace dot com slash Rogan for a free trial. And when you are ready to launch, use the offer code Rogan to save 10 percent off your first purchase of a website or domain. So I get what you're saying. Yeah. The needs is the flexible thing in our humor stays the same. But the needs or the setup is different. So if every business is successful, when they figure out what is the need of people like Apple, for example, they say we we develop product that you don't know you need, but then you can't live without it. That's their model. So the same thing, a restaurant, if they figured out what need is that community has, they're successful. You figured out what is the need that people have and they're listening to you and they love it. Is it a need? Like we're talking the word need is a weird one, because for me, need is like food and shelter and community. That's the real needs. Everything else is desires. Well, in or interests in the hierarchy of needs was Maslow. They just go higher and higher. So when when you find he called them needs. I couldn't find a better. Not that makes more sense now. Yeah, I get it. Yeah, it's I feel like the most important thing about comedy is you have to be actually excuse me, you have to actually be interested in what you're talking about. Obviously, it has to be funny. That's the most important thing. But other than that, the second most important thing or the thing that really resonates with people is when someone's on stage and they're talking about something that means something to them. Right. I get invested. Exactly. I'm invested in people that are fast. I'm invested with people that are that have like hobbies that they love. Even if I have no interest in it at all. Yeah, I want to hear them talk about it. Exactly. And I I totally that's you found that whatever you want to call it, desire, need, whatever you want to call it. But whoever zooms in on that and understands that they're successful in what they do. So in marriage, my focus switched from us, the Cold War between countries. To a Cold War between couples and understanding that men and women are different is very important because they have different needs. And so part of my dissertation was to to give that understanding. So then the person is not like searching. It doesn't know what he's looking for there. I'm I'm married and I'm happily married now. And my main goal is to figure out what does my wife need. And if I can anticipate it, then we have love and laughter and it's living there. But if I don't or if she doesn't, then we start arguing. And that happens in every family. So I'm easier. So there's a book by Dr. Willard Harley called His Needs, Her Needs. And what he did. He was dealing with a lot of couples that was getting a divorce and he was trying to help them in marriage counseling. And he asked he identified like 10 emotional needs and he asked these people to prioritize men and women. And it was interesting that he said, I was shocked that five top needs for men were totally. So if we don't know that, so did the needs for women were affection, conversation, openness and honesty, family commitment and financial support, not for every woman, but that's was majority. But it was admiration, attractive spouse, recreational companion, and domestic support. Makes men seem really base. They are. Base and stupid. We are. That sexual attraction is number uno. Yeah. And then it's in there. How's it in there twice? No, I just fucked it up. No, I was joking. Yeah, I was joking around. Yeah, that's funny. Like admiration is a funny one. That's funny. Admiration is huge. That's hilarious. You need admiration from your wife. That's hilarious. Well, but it's not because if you think that I ask the audience, so here is what I do in my show. And they're laughing, but they're also learning something. I say, how many of you gentlemen here at least once in a while would like to hear your wife said, you're such a good man. Thanks for doing things for us. Applaud. And few people applaud. And I go, well, not every man is applauding because they're scared and they laugh. And then I go, so let me ask you the same question from an opposite point of view. Any of you gentlemen disagree with that? Silence. Then I go, you see, ladies, you used to do it. You don't do it now, but you used to do it in the beginning. That's what that attraction was, is was the man needed that. And women don't. They don't want to be acknowledged or admired for what they do. They want to be loved for who they are. Kind, beautiful, smart, selfless. And I ask women, is that true? And they applaud. So and it's subconscious. But I know for me, that's a very important thing that if I'm doing something, all I need is like, thank you. And sometimes it's overlooked. And that doesn't feel right. That's interesting. It definitely resonates that men don't necessarily care if a woman does a thing, like if she's really good at a thing. Right. Like men. I mean, I mean, this is obviously a great generalization because there are probably some men. Of course. That one of the things I love is the talent that a woman possesses or the drive. Absolutely. But for the most part, what men want is someone to be nice. Nice to be pretty. Yeah. Like my friends have joked around. I've joked around about this before my single friends about like, I don't give a fuck if a girl works at McDonald's. Is she nice? Is she pretty? Is she nice? You know, and is she not like completely annoying to talk to? Is she fun to talk to? Like, you don't care what her job is. If she's cool and she's fun. But a woman meeting a cool, good looking guy that's nice that works at McDonald's like you fucking loser. Unfortunately, no, no shame to the people working at McDonald's. I worked fast food when I was younger, too. I did. I worked. I did a couple of the first place I worked. That was a burger place called Newport Creamery. I worked at a place called Papa Gino's. Italian fast food place. Nothing wrong with working at McDonald's. Point is, women don't respect it for whatever reason, especially the women that want to have a family and settle down and all that jazz. They look at a guy working at McDonald's like, you don't have any ambition. And that's the thing that women want from men that men don't seem to really care that much from women. Women want a guy that has ambition and men do not care generally. Although I got to say, Phil Hartman, when he obviously did not have a good marriage because his wife killed him and then killed herself, obviously didn't have a good marriage, right? When he had almost got divorced a few times, and I remember one time he and I were having a conversation about it and he said, he goes, if I fucking get divorced, he goes, my next wife, she has to like something. He goes, I don't give a fuck what it is. I don't care. It's a rock client. You have to be into something. So that was his thing. It was like that he was really into things like he got his pilot's license, like the place that I actually bought in California. I found out about that part of California because of him because he took me up on a plane and he was explaining to me like there's other counties that you could live in and these counties like they have land that's like, yeah, it's a drive, but it's like more peaceful and relaxed. You don't have to be like in the heart of everything. So he was he was into being a pilot. He had like he played music. He always had a bunch of different interests that he was pursuing on top of being an actor and being a comedic actor. And so he was really frustrated. One of the things he was frustrated is that his wife didn't have any ambition. She didn't have any interests. Well, but she also probably didn't admire him for what his accomplishments were. I think she wanted to be famous as well. She probably shouldn't talk about this too much. But and I think there was. There was probably some resentment in his success. I think she was trying to be famous as well. Well, that's like those magnets repel. Yeah. Well, it's like sometimes when a couple I've seen it the opposite, like a friend of mine, she was dating this guy who was a comedian. And when she started doing well, he started getting really shitty with her. He he started getting very resentful and he would be insulting. And she could tell that there was she was he was not happy that she was doing well. Yeah. Because she started to take off. He wasn't. Yeah. And it was like he was very frustrated and they broke up. And she was like, that always really hurt. Just because I really felt like if I was doing well, if he loved me, he was he was going to be happy, too. And he wasn't happy. It's nice if this was discussed in the beginning of the relationship. It's like sometimes a man doesn't know and the woman doesn't know how they're going to behave. You don't know what your character flaws are until you're presented by something that tests you. Absolutely. Absolutely. So my my goal was to understand it better. And there's a painting I sent Jamie. If you I painted this painting. That kind of helped me. If you can find it, it's a tree of love. And it helped me to understand better what my role is, because my first marriage, I did not know what my role was. I was I met a woman, American girl, beautiful. Everything was great. When I shook her hand or she shook my hand, she almost broke my hand. And my. My subconscious was like my mother was very strong in my parents' relationship. Mom was the leader and dad was creative, wonderful man, but he would follow her. And I subconsciously went with that script, the manuscript of my life. And so this helped me to see something that I. I wanted. Who do I want to be? I wanted to be that strong man who is able to give life to a woman that she can be free, creative, bring our, you know, fruit children. So she doesn't have to worry about that. In my previous marriage, I didn't understand that. So on stage, I came across like I was this. You know, strong guy who was invited to the White House to perform. I was, you know, I was commanding a big group of 2000, 3000 people. And she saw that. And then in the relationship, I became like now she knows what to do. I don't have to do anything. So I said I do. And I didn't do it. I didn't know what it was, what my role was. So it took me 20 years and all of that education to get to that place that who do I want to become to attract a woman that wants to be in that role. Damn, dude, you thought about this shit deep idea going through it, man. I got through it because you're going through that, which is always a bummer for people, especially with children when you're getting divorced. But then on top of that, your career goes away because the Soviet Union collapsed. Yes. And then you said, fuck it. That's very admirable. You said, fuck it. I'm going to get. I'm going to get educated and figure out what's wrong with me and what's what's, you know. Yes. Yeah. And I don't know if you have a picture of my my wife and the kids and the kid. Now I'm 75 and I have a one year old. What? Yes. I know. When did you get married? How long did you. Seven. Seven years ago. So this. So you spent like 20 years single. Yeah. Just trying to figure yourself out. Yeah. Damn. Yeah. You went on a walk. I went to Tony Robbins. What? Yeah. All of his trainings. I mean, I needed to be. I needed to become. I wasn't that strong person. I was more like my dad and I needed to become who I wanted to be. I wanted a woman to trust me that I can sustain no matter what. And I have a feeling there's my wife. And. Did you meet your wife in Missouri? No. She is from Ukraine. That's an interesting. You have a one year old. Dude, it's time to get you on some peptides. That's crazy. You're 75. I do. We got to go to work on you. We got to keep you alive. That's nuts. It's it's wonderful. Almost 20 years older than me. And you have a one year old. That's crazy. Well, I'm I'm I'm excited. I'm excited because I figured that I figured out something. So the way. So I was. You'll you'll get a kick out of it. So I was married to an American woman. Then I was dating. Other women wasn't it wasn't happening. So I took my kids, grown kids to Ukraine and I want them to show I'm from Odessa. All right. So when they're with them, they were like probably in their 20s. And so and on the way back, I forgot my passport on the plane from Odessa to Kiev and I had to stay. Okay. Behind for a day to get a temporary passport. So I went to a park and I was waiting for this and and I see this lunchtime and this gorgeous women are going to lunch and back and and and they're like, I feel like I'm in Paris watching a runway show. I mean, it's like beautiful women and and I'm going I I'm I'm can relate to that. I would like one. Those women. Wait a minute. But how old are you at this time? That was 10 years ago. So 65. And how old are these ladies? Well, my wife is 42. So but in in their in their 20s, 30s, 42 and 75 doesn't seem offensive for whatever reason. You know what I mean? Like 20 and what would be the equivalent? Well, I wasn't looking. I wasn't. I wasn't a playboy. I was looking for a wife. I had a I had a but women don't care about that. If they find out that a man is like that much older than a woman, they kind of get upset. Well, it probably in that culture is a little bit different than American culture. And so what I did, I said, okay, how do I do that? So I went to Ukraine and I tried to meet women through like agencies that introduce people. It wasn't working. Well, a couple. A couple of times. Then I decide I'm going to just hire three different agencies at the same time. And I'm just going to go for two weeks. And I had 51 dates. So you went to Ukraine just to meet a woman. I went to look for a wife. It wasn't a woman. It was just. But I mean, it has to be a woman. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. And so, yes. So that's what happened. And I would just have breakfast, lunch and dinner with different ladies. And I did. It didn't take me very long because I had all that training and education. I was new. And I was looking for a woman who has a father that is really good for her. I mean, I knew that if the father, if they're afraid of masculine energy, if they're being with the abusive dad or something is not right, they will not trust my energy. And that was for the handshake I could tell pretty much if that woman and and all 51 dates were i it didn't work i mean i just knew in a couple of seconds that it wasn't right but then i have to eat you know so i gained weight just because i i had to eat all this time three meals a day and anyway you were going out with three different girls a day to try to find a wife yeah that sounds kind of crazy well it so then it's a little crazy so then so then i go it didn't work right so what do i do so now i i decide i'm going to do a seminar in kiev uh on relationships because i was teaching at missouri state university at that time so a professor from america is going to teach this course on the relationship you and laughter right that was my hook and i figured you did this all just to meet women yeah yeah i did well i'm i'm not i'm i'm not ashamed of it because i was i was very it's pragmatic very focused a good strategy very focused it seems like the same strategy that led you to like serve breakfast in branson you're an industrious guy of the soviet union you find solutions exactly exactly yeah so then so then i uh i need somebody to promote this uh and to find the venue and uh bring women but the the logic was the logic was that the women who will come uh to a seminar are different kind of women that go to those agencies those agencies they're hunting for somebody from outside the country they're looking for somebody these women were just wanted to know more about the relationship and so what do you mean they're hunting for someone outside the country so they're trying to escape ukraine yeah that's what they're doing so they're trying to find a husband that's going to take them out exactly exactly so they're more in a masculine energy they're more like i'm gonna get somebody and i wasn't into that i wasn't interested so someone recommended uh this lady who can do this promote this and that was my future wife it was my uh olivia who i now married to and when i met her and she promoted this i already knew that i didn't need the seminar i just i met somebody that i really um wanted to to be with and uh it didn't it wasn't immediate because we're age difference so at first i was like what were you talking about and i wasn't i was just professional and doing this professionally but little by little we started learning about each other and then i i invited her to america proposed to her on her uh birthday and i had her balloon ride i mean i was you know very romantic yeah yeah that way she could not get out that way i could give her that wow yeah yeah that is a creepy place to propose well like you're already scared you're a parent you're gonna take care of me please but i put a big get this thing down on the ground i put a big big banner on the ground will you marry me oh and and she didn't know how to read english so she that's hilarious she did not say yes uh and then then i opened the ring and you know and then she said yes so um does she speak russian is that what they speak in ukraine yeah primarily primarily is there a ukrainian language yeah there is there is that's the tension between two sides of ukraine one is very western very ukrainian the other one is russian speaking and they russian speaking don't mind the the other side the other side does mind so yeah got it got it got it well it's like what was it like starting out doing stand-up in the soviet union that's where you started right yeah how old were you i was 15 and what is it like there when you're 15 is there like a version of the tonight show in russia well no it's a lot at those days you know uh it was very structured very communist party controlled so there was only like two comedians in the whole country that were government approved so they they would be on the stand and was really doing comedy so what were the stand and was really doing comedy so what were the comedians like do it for first of all more like comedians like do it for first of all more like vaudeville names uh arcadia reichen uh you could vaudeville names uh arcadia reichen uh you could probably google him arcadia reichen he was the probably google him arcadia reichen he was the main guy that i would listen to and in each each main guy that i would listen to and in each each apartment there would be a little speaker that apartment there would be a little speaker that would be on all the time so they could brainwash would be on all the time so they could brainwash you yeah you had a speaker in your apartment all you had a speaker in your apartment all the time the time yeah yeah wow yeah yeah yeah wow yeah so so but then on sunday morning so so but then on sunday morning this is what 66 uh this is what 66 uh yeah yeah i'm 51 so yeah yeah that's yeah yeah i'm 51 so yeah yeah that's about that time about that time yeah that was the guy yeah wow yeah that was the guy yeah wow very that was the guy very famous uh very that was the guy very famous uh the only people from america that we saw the only people from america that we saw were charlie chaplin and that's it so just charlie chaplin charlie chaplin thought america was just silent movies charlie chaplin thought america was just silent movies well they they they portrayed it even well they they they portrayed it even at a he did a charlie chapman impersonation at a he did a charlie chapman impersonation yeah wow yeah so uh he's got wigs and shit yeah so uh he's got wigs and shit i would listen to his so every other sunday or every once a month he would have a different monologue that was written and approved by the communist party yeah so every other sunday or every once a month he would have a different monologue that was written and approved by the communist party yeah so i was really into it so i would i was really into it so i would i was really into it so i would record it and we had the big tape recorder record it and we had the big tape recorder record it and we had the big tape recorder like this and i would record it and i like this and i would record it and i like this and i would record it and i would memorize it and because there was would memorize it and because there was would memorize it and because there was nothing to be approved because it's nothing to be approved because it's nothing to be approved because it's already been approved then i would go to already been approved then i would go to already been approved then i would go to i got my i got my i got my understanding that i really wanted to do understanding that i really wanted to do understanding that i really wanted to do that wow that wow that wow yeah and and little by little then i went yeah and and little by little then i went yeah and and little by little then i went to to to military and i did that there military and i did that there military and i did that there kind of as an amateur and then uh kind of as an amateur and then uh kind of as an amateur and then uh you just stand up for the military yeah you just stand up for the military yeah you just stand up for the military yeah yeah but it would be just yeah but it would be just yeah but it would be just like holidays like if it was mayday or like holidays like if it was mayday or like holidays like if it was mayday or event yeah october revolution they would event yeah october revolution they would event yeah october revolution they would look to me to to entertain look to me to to entertain look to me to to entertain so i would do that and then i so i would do that and then i so i would do that and then i went to came out of military went to went to came out of military went to went to came out of military went to college college college for art degree my parents didn't think for art degree my parents didn't think for art degree my parents didn't think that i could do anything comedy would that i could do anything comedy would that i could do anything comedy would not be like nobody even thought that not be like nobody even thought that not be like nobody even thought that that's that's that's even a possibility even a possibility even a possibility and so um i kept doing it and then and so um i kept doing it and then and so um i kept doing it and then start working on the start working on the start working on the uh soviet cruise ships uh soviet cruise ships uh soviet cruise ships um and they they had in the black sea um and they they had in the black sea um and they they had in the black sea soviet cruise ships so i went uh they soviet cruise ships so i went uh they soviet cruise ships so i went uh they asked me to go and perform there on the asked me to go and perform there on the asked me to go and perform there on the cruise ship cruise ship cruise ship yeah you're you're like really they have yeah you're you're like really they have yeah you're you're like really they have yeah yeah yeah so how old are you at the time i was 20 time i was 20 time i was 20 21 okay yeah 21 okay yeah 21 okay yeah um um um now i'm getting paid and i'm getting now i'm getting paid and i'm getting now i'm getting paid and i'm getting um a cabin and now prior to that i lived um a cabin and now prior to that i lived um a cabin and now prior to that i lived in a communal apartment with my parents in a communal apartment with my parents in a communal apartment with my parents in the same room till i was 26 years old in the same room till i was 26 years old in the same room till i was 26 years old whoa so yeah whoa so yeah whoa so yeah so no phone uh nine families your so no phone uh nine families your so no phone uh nine families your parents wanted to get frisky they tell parents wanted to get frisky they tell parents wanted to get frisky they tell you to go for a walk go look out the you to go for a walk go look out the you to go for a walk go look out the window window window go look out the window go look out the window go look out the window well i joke about this and then okay well i joke about this and then okay well i joke about this and then okay yeah and then and then they say what do yeah and then and then they say what do yeah and then and then they say what do you see what do you see in the window i you see what do you see in the window i you see what do you see in the window i might jump out that window might jump out that window might jump out that window yeah and they say what do you see in the yeah and they say what do you see in the yeah and they say what do you see in the window window window i said our neighbors being frisky and and i said our neighbors being frisky and and i said our neighbors being frisky and and they say how can you tell us it they say how can you tell us it they say how can you tell us it because their son is looking at me so because their son is looking at me so because their son is looking at me so that's that's the joke i tell but um that's that's the joke i tell but um that's that's the joke i tell but um but uh that was my my life and here all but uh that was my my life and here all but uh that was my my life and here all of a sudden of a sudden of a sudden i'm introduced to this uh so i'm introduced to this uh so i'm introduced to this uh so tourists from other countries would tourists from other countries would tourists from other countries would take those cruises around black sea take those cruises around black sea take those cruises around black sea and all of a sudden i'm introduced to and all of a sudden i'm introduced to and all of a sudden i'm introduced to this group of people that i was not this group of people that i was not this group of people that i was not allowed to talk to allowed to talk to allowed to talk to foreigners we were not allowed to where foreigners we were not allowed to where foreigners we were not allowed to where what countries were they from uh what countries were they from uh what countries were they from uh germany uh britain germany uh britain germany uh britain some americans some australians uh some americans some australians uh some americans some australians uh yugoslavians whatever from yugoslavians whatever from yugoslavians whatever from soviet bloc and it was who was the soviet bloc and it was who was the soviet bloc and it was who was the president of or the president of or the president of or the brezhnev brezhnev was the president that brezhnev brezhnev was the president that brezhnev brezhnev was the president that time yeah time yeah time yeah and so i started so i did one week of and so i started so i did one week of and so i started so i did one week of performances performances performances and um and then they said would you and um and then they said would you would you like to stay on board? And I said, can I bring my parents with me? can we give another cabin for them and they said no you don't get any special privileges we have hundreds of people like you get out and i i was like okay so i left and um uh a couple of hours later a messenger comes we have no phone so it's like messenger comes and brings two sets of um sets of tickets for me and my parents and i never heard that it's even possible like that they would go back on their word so i go on the cruise and um and the uh i go to a cruise director i said what happened and he said well here's what happened these ships normally are rented to european companies for like nine months out of the year and we learned from them that if somebody is valuable we give them more uh perks um the captain liked your performance and he told them the company that even if you have to give him my own cabin i want him on the ship and the light bulb went in my head i said wait a minute wait a minute are you saying that in capitalistic world if you're more talented you get more things and they go yeah that was it's hard to imagine there was like change my mind my life well it's hard to imagine for people that didn't grow up in the environment that you grew up with a speaker in your apartment yeah like just you saying that to me my mind is rattled i was like oh my god like they could just broadcast in your apartment anytime they wanted yeah and what a great way to brainwash people and uh they would jam like uh because we had a big radio and they would jam voice of america uh but my dad would wake up like in the middle of the night he was wanting to know what's happening out there and he would sit there and listen to that quietly and i remember as a kid i asked dad what are you listening to in the middle of the night and he goes don't let neighbors hear us this is the voice of america we're not allowed to listen to it wow yeah you had to keep it secret yeah but at night time how did he listen to it just quiet just sat there but if they jammed it how did he listen no they would jam it during the day but at night time they didn't think anybody would wake up at three o'clock in the morning and sit there and listen to it how do they jam it it's just i don't know say that again yeah i don't know so they had some way to jam that yeah oh yeah whatever signal exactly exactly yeah it's short wave so it goes in and out anyway what did he get out of listening to voice of america like what what was he does he did he talk about it yeah yeah i would then start also waking up and listening and and it would be just standard american thing give me you're tired you're hungry you're poor uh something like that and you know and they would that there's a statue of liberty waiting to greet you uh if you come to the united states and he would always say you know this this would be something that i would love you to experience and um and my mom was she hated that because she was afraid that we'll get in trouble and so she didn't want to even talk about this so if i drew a picture as a kid i would draw a picture of statue of liberty uh and she would like don't do that don't let anybody see this we'll get in trouble and um when after i experienced the cruises and got to know this different environment i came home and i go mom dad i think we should consider try to get out of and mom was like mad at my dad and my dad stood up which was good for him at that time normally he would just be quiet but he said to my mom clara don't you would you like your son when he is my age sit there by the radio and listen uh to voice of america hoping uh wish that he would be doing something like that or would you like him to be in america doing this and my mom kind of went you know what's going to happen when we apply for a visa people who are consider your friends they will cross the street and they will not want to talk to you and be seen with you and you're going to go through hell and and and and my dad said yeah we will and she said well if you're willing to do it so so am i and that's all you had to do is apply for a visa well what was happening at that time jimmy carter was the president here and he wanted to uh see some human rights in the soviet union and in the soviet leadership was they were starving they didn't have a food uh so they needed food from america so jimmy carter made a deal that we are we're going to give you grain and you allow people to get out and that's how we we were kind of exchanged for some wheat you know that's how we got out wow holy shit man yeah yeah just you um sometimes need to be reminded how fortunate you are you know america americans in particular we're very uh you know it's not our fault people become accustomed to where they live yeah and they think this is normal which is one of the reasons why this push towards communism amongst young people is so infuriating to me it's like i i understand that it comes from this desire for empathy and kindness i get that the idea of socialism comes from an idea of empathy and kindness that you want you think the world would be better if we all shared and we all shared and we all shared and we all shared and we all shared and that why are there's people that are so rich and people that are so poor and you're right but the solution is not to make the government decide who gets what because they never decide the right way they they do what people do what people do when they have power is they enact total control over the population so that they can maintain power and then they live in luxury and then you wait in line for bread and that's how it is all over the fucking world and if you step out of line they shoot you yeah that's where communism goes so what we need is like a more a more moral and ethical version of capitalism so we need capitalism but with empathy capitalism but with philanthropy like real philanthropy not like scams where you find out that 90 of the money is actually going to all the people that work there and it's a small we need to figure out a way to be more empathetic as a culture but recognize that the pursuit of freedom and the ability to have freedom is so huge and it's such a great gift we're so lucky that we have this experiment in self-government that is the united states of america and that we were that at least i was born here yeah we're we're lucky as shit you know and you don't throw that away because it's not good enough right don't throw that away because it's not it's not perfect you're not going to get perfect with human beings but this is the best system is it corrupt a hundred percent yeah that should be fixed the corruption should be fixed and guardrails should be put in place and maybe more regulations that should be put in place and in regard to some things should be put in place but the purpose of this whole thing is to allow people to have freedom to do whatever they want and that's not ubiquitous in the world that's not everywhere this 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flag. In Branson, yeah. In Branson, that's not. That flag to me doesn't represent whoever is in, it didn't represent Biden when he was in office. It didn't represent Obama. It didn't represent Trump. That represents all of us, right and left, independent, black, white, Asian, Russian, fill in the blanks, Filipino, everybody from everywhere. Who cares? It's America. It's America. This is the great melting pot. And that's how we really should be. And that The flag shouldn't represent Some people think the flag represents racism or colonialism. Like, come on, stop. That flag represents hope. And if you were a kid like Yakov Smirnoff, is that your real name? No, no. What's the real name? Pokhis. Say that again? That's why. Pokhis, P-O-K-H-I-S, is my real name. But I was a bartender, a bar boy at first when I came here. And my first job was a bar boy in the Grossinger's Hotel in the Catskills. Oh, wow. Yeah. What year was this? 77. Who did you get to see perform there? Oh, Freddie Roman. Wow. Eddie Fisher. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Freddie Roman, old school, baby. Yeah, old school. I was learning. Red Skelton, did you see those guys? Uh-huh, I did. Later, later in Atlantic City. But yeah, yeah, I was learning English. I was learning about Chappaquiddick or stuff like that. I was like, what is that? So I was definitely learning English there. Have you ever seen the television show on Amazon, The Marvelous Mrs. Maisel? Mm-mm. It's really good, man. Yeah, the first season is incredible. It's about a young woman who's married and decides to become a stand-up comedian. Like, she's married with kids, the whole deal, and she decides to do stand-up. And part of what she does, she does some stand-up, like, in the Catskills. Interesting. And, like, that is, for people that don't know stand-up, there's, like, stand-up comedy as an art form is a very new art form. Yeah. Very new. Yeah. In terms of human history. Yes. It's only existed, like, in this form that we call stand-up, where you have comedy clubs and stuff like that. It's only existed like that since the 60s. It's true. It's true. It's Vaudeville, pretty much, started that, right? Yeah. It's a different form, but that was, I was learning from those jokes. But a big part of it was the Catskills. Yes. A big part of it because people from New York and Pennsylvania, they would go into the Poconos and the Catskills, and they would do that on summer vacation. And people would get jobs there, and comedians would go and book themselves at these places. Exactly. It was a big deal. It was. It was. And I didn't know. I didn't know about that. So you just got a job there. Well, how it happened, I decided I need to learn English. I didn't speak English, right? So to start with. So how do I learn English? And I thought maybe if I can be a bartender, because in the cruise ships, bar was in the same proximity as the stage was. So I figure it's the same people coming to enjoy evening, and I can talk to them. I can talk to them individually and learn English. That was my clever idea, right? And so I went and got a bartending, it's called degree of mixology. In New York, there was a makeshift school on Fifth Avenue, two weeks, $200, and you get a degree of being a mixologist. And I don't speak English, but I collected this $200. Got the degree. And they promised you to get a job, right? So first job, they got me, there was a restaurant in Lincoln Center called Monk's Inn. And it was, you dress as a monk, and it's a French restaurant, and you don't have to speak. You're a waiter, but you don't have to speak. It was perfect. And then the same school said they're requesting some. Bar boy in the Catskills at the Grossinger's Hotel. And I didn't know anything about it. And on my day off, I went upstate New York and walked into this place, and it was gorgeous. It was a beautiful bar, like an 18 bartenders or whatever. It's huge. And then 2,000 seat theater. And when I saw it in my brain, I said, I don't care what they pay me. I want to work here. And so I took that job. And actually, I was nervous because I didn't know that I can quit the other job because they just gave it to me like a week ago. And so I go back, and I'm so nervous. I go to the manager. I go, I know this is. You gave me a break, but there is an opportunity here. And he said, Yakov, it's America. You should take the opportunity. And if you ever need the job, you get it here. And I was like Rocky. I was like, ta-da, ta-da, ta-da, ta-da, ta-da, ta-da, ta-da, ta-da, ta-da, ta-da, ta-da. Was he calling you Yakov, or was he calling you, you'd already used that name? Yakov is my real name. But you said it wasn't your real name. Poki's. Poki's my last name. Oh. Yeah, yeah. So I took. Yakov Poki's would have made it? Poki's, Yakov Poki's. You had to do Smirnoff? And people could not pronounce my name. So in the bar, I would see that they can say, I'll have some Smirnoff. And I'm going, hmm, maybe that's a good name. And it stuck, and Yakov Smirnoff became my name. That makes sense. Yeah. But when you think about how many different people in show business changed their names back then, that was a super common thing. Like, you didn't keep the name that you were, if you had a goofy name. Like Arnold Schwarzenegger was a groundbreaker, because he was one of the first guys to say, regardless of whether or not you could spell my name or even say, that's my name, I'm going to keep that name. Right, right, right. So many people changed their names and made their name sound more appealing. Well, mine kind of worked, because Yak's is like jokes, Yak's, and Smirnoff kind of makes people happy. Right. So it kind of worked. Oh, it worked great. Yeah. It's a great idea. Yeah. So you're a young kid, and you're at these Catskill shows. How long did you work there? Not very long, but maybe seven, eight months. And did you slowly learn English when you were working there? I was learning English, and I was translating jokes, and I would try them on the audience or my customers. And I would just tell a joke. And if they laughed. And I knew that I understood, and if they didn't laugh or I didn't get a tip, then it wasn't working. So that was my gauge. And you were a busboy when you were doing this? I was a bar boy. Bar boy and just- So bar boys bringing ice and mixing pina coladas, whatever, and then became a bartender. And then I would ask the guy, I asked the guy who was. The manager of the main room, Barry Wise, his name. And I asked him if I could try my comedy. And he said, "No, you can't do it in this room, but in the lobby, in Afternoons, they have a game with older people, Simon Says." And the guy who. The guy who, master of ceremony is there, will probably let you do a couple of minutes of standup. So I did, I walked on stage, and I, it's a little stage in the lobby, and I'm telling a couple of jokes. And some woman in the back started, I thought she was laughing, it was like. She had seizures. And. And. And I didn't know. And I'm thinking, I'm doing well. And they're getting her on her knee out of there. And people coming over and saying, "You were killing. You were killing." I'm going, "No, no, I wasn't killing." The whole thing was. But at least I told a couple of jokes, and that gave me some confidence. And then I did a couple of shows in Catch a Rising Star, which wasn't very good for me. In New York? In New York. Yeah. In New York? In New York. Yeah. And then I was working as a shipping manager in a company called Greeting Bells just to make some money. And the lady said, "I know somebody in Hollywood. His name is Ted Bergman. He is the executive producer of Three's Company," which was a huge show at that time. Sure. I said, "Well, if you go to Hollywood, I can arrange a meeting." And I said, "Okay, I'll go." So I had a plan. I bought a ticket for 10 days to go to Hollywood, become a star, and then come back to New York and buy Fifth Avenue apartment for my parents. That was my desire, which is crazy, right? But I go, "Okay. He is an executive producer of Three's Company. He'll put me in the show. I'll become a star right away." I know. It's crazy, right? But I really was that naive, right? So I go there, and Ted Bergman says, I would like to see you perform. So I need to find a spot. And I go to the comedy store, and I get on the open mic list, and then the message comes that he is not going to make it. But I'm already committed, so I'm doing my five minutes. And I'm bummed because now it's day four, and I'm not even close to getting a television show. So I'm walking away, and I'm on Sunset, and this girl, Chrissy, her name was Mitzi's secretary at that time. And she runs after me, and she goes, Yaakov, Yaakov, congratulations. And I go, why? I mean, the guy didn't. He didn't show up. And she goes, no, no, no, no, no, Mitzi liked you. And I go, who is Mitzi? No, no, it's Philly to see in front of her portrait. And she goes, she owns the comedy store. Go talk to her. So I go sit down next to her in that booth that is next to the original room. And I have no idea who I'm talking to. And she says, you're very funny. Stay in Los Angeles. There's always place for good and different. And I'm again, I'm like, okay. I said, I'm sorry, but I have parents in LA, in New York, and I need to go back because they rely on me. And she goes. So what does your dad do? And I go, he's a building construction engineer. And she goes, can he be a carpenter? And I go, I think so. And she goes, okay, why don't you bring him here? I'll give him a job. I like your Mitzi impression. It's pretty close. And, and she says, she goes, and where do you live? I go, I, I am staying with some friends. She goes, I have a house up the hill and you can rent a room for $120 a month if you want to. That was a Crest Hill? Crest Hill. Yeah. So I, I, I still don't know again who I'm talking to. And she goes in and come back tomorrow and watch a regular show. So I come back. How old are you at this time? I'm 26, 27 now. Yeah. So I go in next day and I sit in the back and first person that Harris Peet, you probably remember. Yeah. Harris Peet introduces Robin Williams first on stage. And he was, she just hit number one show on. Morgan Mindy? Yeah. Yeah. And after him is Billy Crystal. After him is David Letterman. After him is Richard Pryor. Yeah. Yeah. It's a lined up like, and I'm sitting back there and I'm going, this is day five. I'm ahead of schedule. If she likes them and she likes me, I'm staying. I don't care. And that's how it started. And she gave me a job. She gave me a job. So basically I was helping my dad as a carpenter because she wasn't, I wasn't ready to perform there really, but. But she believed in you. Yeah. And she gave me a break and little by little, once a month, she would say, why don't you go up and do what you, you know, and I was practicing. I would do other clubs meantime just to get better and better and better. And then, you know, she had been an amazing. Supporter, you know, and I continue, I build a lot in the belly room. I built a lot of things in, in, in, and she, my, my, my main job was to go to her house and Polly was a young kid who was smoking pot and to prevent Mitzit from walking into on him. He would take off the doorknobs of the door and he would throw them. And my job was to go and buy door, new doorknobs and put them in. It was like a full-time job, you know? And so, yeah, I, she'd been a blessing, a blessing for me. Polly's at the club this weekend. Oh, is that right? Oh, cool. Yeah. He's on the 25th. That's cool. That's crazy. Yeah. And so how good was your English back then? It was getting better. You know, were you taking courses? Yeah. Yeah. I was, I was relentless. I would, I would do whatever it takes to learn. I was, I mean, I isolated myself totally from Russian speaking, except my parents. I was speaking to them in Russian, but everybody else, I spoke in English. So it got, it was getting better and better. And then little by little, I got, you know, kind of, Robin got me a part at Moscow on a Hudson movie. That was the first. This is all in the 70s, right? So this is probably like you got arrived there like what, 78? 78, yeah. And then the movie was started in 82, came out in 84. So at that point, I was doing Night Court a lot, did like seven episodes. I could not get on The Tonight Show. There was a producer, Jim McCauley, who didn't think that Carson's going to like me, right? And so I became, and he would come every day. Mitzi was very supportive of this. She would have like a showcase once a year of people for him to look at. And he would come and he would say, Carson's not going to like, he's not going to like, he's not going to like. And on year six, he came and he said, Yeah. Because let's save time for one another. You'll get on that show when the hell freezes over. I swear. And so I started watching Weather Channel. Well, I didn't have a shot. I mean, and I just kind of moved on. And then I got Miller Lite commercial, which became very popular. I don't know if you can show that, Jamie. You could probably see it. It became really big. All of a sudden, I was during Super Bowl shown. And all of a sudden, people kind of got to know me. And I, and then Carson saw this commercial. And he told McCauley, he said, this guy is funny. How come we don't have him on? And McCauley said, oh, yeah, we were just about to get him. And so. Mitzi calls me. I'm in Raleigh, North Carolina in the club. And she calls me. And I remember on the pay phone, I call her back. And I go, what's going on? She goes, guess who, Hall? I go, who? McCauley. He's such an ass. He now wants you on the show right away. And my gut reaction was like, I want to tell him to go. And then I go, no, no, no. So I did the Tonight Show. And Carson liked me and called me over to the couch, which was, yeah, which was kind of a big deal at that time. And I sat down and I said, Johnny, you know, in America, you have things we never had in Russia, like policemen have warning signs. And he almost fell off the chair. And we went to a commercial. And McCauley comes over. It gets between me and Carson and goes, can you do another shot like this, like a couple of months from now? I go, when the hell freezes over? He goes, touche, touche. And I did six, seven, seven episodes of Carson. And people today, young people especially, listening, don't understand what a big deal it was to be on Carson. And I think the only thing that's close today is Kill Tony. Yes. Kill Tony is a place where people's careers are actually really legitimately launched. And there's a bunch of people like Cam Patterson's on SNL now. You know, there's guys like when we did a show, a podcast with the Black Keys, they were asking for William Montgomery to perform. Like, can we go see William Montgomery? Like, there's people that are stars from that show now. Amazing. Well, I'm- That's pretty cool. And I'm here with you because I did that show and. Here I saw you, and you invited me, so I'm very grateful to Tony that kind of got us. Well, Tony's done that for a lot of people. I mean, he's blown up Adam Ray. He's blown up so many of these guys. Yeah. Kyle Dunnigan. So many of these guys have taken off because of Tony. Yeah. I mean, it's a really amazing platform because it's just comedy. Yeah. You know? Yeah. Totally. Totally. Love it. It's like a more important platform for comedians than a regular podcast like this one because this podcast is not always comedy. Right. Like, sometimes I'm talking to scientists. Right. Sometimes I'm talking to a lot of weird, different people. Yeah. Absolutely. But that show is just funny, and there was nothing like that back then. So the closest thing to it was The Tonight Show. Right. And if you got on The Tonight Show and you did stand up, I mean, that was the first time I remember watching Richard Jenney was on The Tonight Show. And there's a bunch of other people that I saw on The Tonight Show, too, but everybody would stay up late at night, and when there was a comedian on The Tonight Show, you'd get excited. Yeah. Like, oh, there's a comedian. Yeah. Yeah. Let's see if they're funny. And if you were good and you were on The Tonight Show, then you could perform at clubs all over the country. Right. And they would say, as seen on The Tonight Show, like, oh, The Tonight Show. Yeah. It was a huge deal. And if you had that credit and people had seen you. Yeah. Also back then, like, what were the numbers? The numbers were crazy. 30 million. Yeah. Because there was only. There were only four channels. Three at the time. Not even four. Fox didn't even exist yet. So there was three channels, and a huge percentage of the country was watching this one thing. Yeah. I was very blessed. Isn't that crazy? Yeah. 30 million. Yeah. And one time, I offered them. He loved to do impressions of Reagan, Carson. He was. And I offered them to do a skit of me. Me. Me. Me. an interpreter, he is Reagan, and then had a Gorbachev lookalike. And it was a huge hit. It was really very, very well received. And that's another interesting thing that, you know, like when I met Reagan, I was still fairly unknown. And I was playing a club in Washington, D.C., and it was called Comedy Cafe. And somebody came over to me after the show, and a guy, I didn't know who he was, and he said, I'm having President Reagan and Nancy Reagan as my guests, dinner guests, at my home in two weeks. I would like to invite you to be one of the guests. And I'm thinking, this guy's nuts. Who is this? You know, he was chief editor of Washington Times newspaper. And he, the reason I brought this up, because, so he sent me tickets, I come back, and then this like a scene from like a Die Hard or something, we're pulling into his house. There's two helicopters are hanging over the neighborhood. There's FBI everywhere. And I'm going, there's going to be a mess. You know, they're going to, they won't let me in. I just didn't think it's possible. So they get him out of the car, they frisk him, they ask for his IDs. And he said, I'm the owner of the place where the president is going to dinner. And they said, we don't care. So they get him, and then they shine the light. I'm sitting in the passenger seat, and they shine the light on me. And I'm like, oh, my God, I'm going to die. I'm going to die. And the guy goes, Miller light commercial, right? Go in. That's how I met, that's how I met the president. And then it was, he, the moment we met each other, it's like locked in, like the same wavelength. And all of a sudden, he was like, have you heard this joke? And he starts telling me Russian jokes. And then it was back and forth. And so the 18, people in the room, and everybody's laughing. And that's how we started that relationship. Wow. That's crazy. Yeah. And then, and then I get a call from his, Dana Rohrabacher, who was his head speechwriter. And he calls me a couple of weeks later, and he said, Reagan is going to go to Russia to meet with Gorbachev. He is going to do a speech in front of all the Russian politicians in the United States. And he said, I would like you to write some jokes for his speech. And this is like insane for me to hear this. I'm going, if something doesn't go right, I don't have any countries to go to. This is like, where am I? Where am I going? Right? So, and so I write some jokes, they put them in the speech. And then Dana goes, do you mind looking over the speech? Goes, we want to make sure that the tone of the speech is right. I'm going, this is too much. This is too much responsibility. But I was honored. I read it. And I said, I personally don't think that the tone is correct. I think you're kind of talking down to them, and they're not going to like it. And he goes, he goes, then rewrite the speech. I'm going, okay. So, I just changed. I didn't rewrite the speech. I just changed some tone of kind of putting them on the equal level as opposed to being talking down to the Soviet leaders. They didn't appreciate that. Did he explain how he was talking down? Just teaching them that capitalism is so much better than what they got. And they should switch to that form of politics. As opposed to kind of appreciate what they, and their, you know, their empire at that time that is still very big. So, I didn't, I just felt that I would be just nicer. And they liked it. They changed some of the things that, and they kept it that way. And so, I don't know how, Mitzi used to tell me, you and Reagan changed the world. I go, yeah, Mitzi, you're right. I'm just telling jokes. He goes, no, it was his secret weapon that he used to get to Gorbachev. Well, maybe there's some truth to that. Well, certainly truth in that you kind of understood how they would receive what he was saying. That he was saying something that would, they would become defensive and they would be defensive. That, that was my concern that, but, you know, again. Well, you know that culture way better than anybody else. Exactly. And that's what he was, he was asking me. I mean, at, at some point he goes, how would you deal with Gorbachev? He was literally, it's like, and I'm like going, am I the most qualified person to answer this question? And he goes, you are, because you, you lived there 26 years. None of us politicians have. So, he was really a very well, my suggestions, whatever they, you know. Wow. That had to be weird. I mean, you're talking to Ronald Reagan in the 1980s. Yeah. Wow. Mr. Gorbachev, tear down that wall. I didn't write that joke. I did not. No, it wasn't a joke. It wasn't a joke. Yeah. Yeah. But crazy that it actually happened. Changed the world. Yeah. Changed, yeah. Changed the world. Literally changed the world. Changed my, my world for sure. Unfortunately. That's what's crazy. Well, it's crazy, isn't it? It's like, but that was the problem with the world back then with only a few channels. Yeah. They could just decide you were done and you were done. Yeah. Yeah. I mean, that, that happened to a lot of, like, if actors ran afoul of certain people. Right. You got cast out, you got blackballed and that was it. You never worked again. Yeah. Yeah. And that happened to a lot of people. Yeah. You know? Well, I, I'm, I'm happy that I found Branson. I'm happy that I was able to adjust, you know, and it's just like when, when you look at trajectory of my life, uh, I, I realized that that's one of my strong skills to be able to adjust, uh, coming, uh, just having the idea that I will be able to do comedy in America was insane for most people. Well, just adjusting from the culture of living in Russia to living in America is insane. You made a lot of adjustments. A lot. And when we were came, because we were coming through Italy, uh, to come to America and they would, in Italy, they kept us three months to check all the documents and make sure that we are not like communist party or, uh, don't have a record. Yeah. Right. Right. Right. And we had to survive. That was another interesting. Moment of our life because we're going and they're, uh, they, they wanted, they didn't want people to leave because that looked bad for the. Soviet Union so they they would do all the they would only like change you a hundred dollars per person and you're supposed to survive like three months of living in a foreign country and so but they would give you a list of things that you could take with you so like a photo camera hat something you could sell there to live on and yeah and two suitcases for each person and very strict list of things what was an interesting kind of loophole we found out through the grapevine that condoms was a very expensive item in England for some reason in the Soviet Union you could buy them for a penny and in Italy you could sell them for a dollar and so my quest was like when I've learned and there was no restriction how many you can take with you so I would go to each pharmacy whatever whatever I could get and just it's I was you know I we got like half of the suitcase of condoms and we put it in my mother's suitcase so that way hopefully nobody's going to ask her what what why you know they would be embarrassed or whatever so they didn't ask and we got through and so my job and my parents job was to go on the open market every Saturday and Sunday and try to sell those condoms so we can pay rent and food and whatever else So my parents, it was so funny how they transitioned. They were these two very conservative people, and they're embarrassed, but then they realized we need money to eat. So they would, mom became pretty smart. She translated from Russian into Italian. If you don't want to have a kid like this, and would point at me, and would hold that card, and said, then buy a condom. And people would laugh. They would laugh, and they would buy two or three. It was just more of a joke, but we were surviving on that for a long time. Wow. Yeah, yeah. Wow. Yeah. So it was. It was kind of bang for the buck, kind of a, you know, it was not expected, but we survived. So a lot of those moments in life when you, I look at my life and I go, that was a survival. Then coming to America, and getting a job, and getting to a goddess that helped you and me to become who we are. That's just. God's hand on that. That's amazing. Yeah, you adapted, man. You adapted multiple times. That's so crazy. God. Yeah. Trying to survive in Italy, you didn't speak Italian. Did you guys speak anything other than Russian? No. No, just Russian. No, we just. But there was immigration. There was other Russian people that you could kind of communicate with, and I would go, even in Italy, I would go to. I went to a movie theater, and I was so determined, there was one movie theater in Rome that would, for a dollar, you can sit and watch English-speaking movies, and you can sit there all day for a dollar. And so I would go, it was like my. I was learning English, listening to it, listening. And then one time, I remember a couple, I needed to practice. And there was a couple, I asked them, speak English, and they said yes. And the guy, the girl was from Belgium, the guy was from Washington, D.C., and they said, we'll help you, and we'll just come every week, like on Monday or something, whatever it was, and we'll just go to a coffee shop, and we'll talk to you so you can practice English. And I remember they asked me, like. Like, what did you do in Russia? I said, I was a comedian, somehow, through dictionary, whatever I could to make that. And they said, what do you want to accomplish when you're in America? And again, I don't know anything about America, and I have this. I asked them, I said, where is the most successful. People, comedians perform, and they said, Las Vegas. And I said, in five years, somehow, I'll be in Las Vegas. And it's exactly what happened. Five years later, I was at the Tropicana Hotel with Murray Lanston, the unknown comic, doing a show in Las Vegas. I remember that guy with the paper bag over his head. Yeah. Yeah. From the gong show. Yep. Yeah. Yes, yeah. Which was a great show. It was a great show. That was a crazy show. Yeah, it was kind of an early version of Kill Tony. In a lot of ways. Yeah. Yeah, in a lot of ways, because some of the people were just, like, unbelievably untalented. And then you would hit the gong. Exactly. That show was great. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Didn't they try to bring that back? Didn't they try to bring the gong show back at one point in time with someone else? I think they did. Who did they bring it back with? Do you remember, Jamie? What? Do you remember? You don't remember. I don't, yeah. Off the top of my head, no. It was someone that you're like, huh. I wonder why they chose that person. Actually, yeah, 2000, oh, David Tell. Oh, that's right. Who was it? It was David Tell. Oh. That's right. It was 2012? Well, it says briefly in 2008, and then again in 2017, and I don't think he was involved in that one. Oh. 2008, is that what you said? yeah wow yeah he's perfect for that the problem is once a show's been done you try to redo it right it's like it's always good right yeah there's been the three different versions of fear factor now you know it's like now they're doing it with johnny knoxville uh it's uh kind of crazy like the amount of different things that have happened in your life you know and then now to find yourself with another revival because it killed tony yes like yes and and going back on tour i have a i have a poster i don't know if people on the radio can't see it but i have a poster of my tour well we'll send them to the website yeah so i am i'm excited and where are you going to comedy clubs yeah all over the place yeah atlanta is the next one no one can read that oh okay put that down they'll go to the website jimmy will pull up the website you yeah and it's on yakov.com yeah that's hilarious man so what was the kill tony experience like it was great i mean i am um obviously my my show is kind of a g rated and so uh kill tony is not and uh so but yet it was it doesn't matter it doesn't matter he he was so respectful of of this uh tony and set me up you know i mean i i felt like my head was this big and um he was seeing me as a super legend and and i am i'm very grateful it's hard for me sometimes to accept that that people see me because i've been doing this for 60 years 60 years comedy that's crazy yeah well i remember the first time we met we met at the comedy store uh-huh i want to say was that like 15 years ago or something probably yeah dropped in and i had never seen and i was like oh like what is he doing in town yeah and you just decided you wanted to come by the store and see what was going on with the young guys and do some stand-up and we hung out for a little bit in the in the green room i'm like and i remember telling everybody yakov smirnov was really funny man he's fucking cool thank you thank you it was fun it was fun to hang out with you you know it was like it was fun to see you hanging out with all these weirdo young pot smoking fucking animals coming from branson right yeah you were coming from branson you're hanging out with joey diaz and we were laughing though we had a good time man it was a really good time it was fun it's fun and i go back uh to clubs and i my goal was really to uh last year i would go to small clubs and develop an hour of material that is totally current i talk about relationships i talk about uh having a one-year-old in my life i talk and and it's an interesting i was doing it at uh at uh your club and it's great to watch uh the the reaction of the audience how they have a lot of respect but they're also laughing And they're seeing it's fun because I talk about relationships. So they might come in disconnected, but then all of a sudden you see how they put their hands next to each other. But I like it. You're a uniter. You're bringing couples closer together with your comedy. That's really my goal. I like that you like that. I enjoy seeing families. Nate Borghese is really the one who kind of got me out of Branson because he's shown that there's a need for that humor. And families come. And when you go to his show, it's like looking around, grandma and grandchildren and parents. But everyone's laughing. The thing about Nate that's so unique is Nate is hilarious to me. Nate is hilarious to a 20-year-old. He's a kid in college. Nate is hilarious to their grandmother. Nate is hilarious to your children. You can bring your 10-year-old kids to see Nate. Nate is a genius. And that is who he is all the time. He's like a really funny, very smart guy who's got a perfect style. It's like, I mean, didn't he make like the most money ever or something like that last year doing stand-up? Sold the most tickets ever? $80 million. Well, something crazy. But it's like he's genius. Doing this, like selling out stadiums two times in a night. Exactly. Yeah. And he does like 3 p.m. shows. It's nuts. Right. It's incredible. But it shows that there's a need for that. Well, it shows that it doesn't matter. It's just funny. Like Brian Regan's another great example. Brian Regan, squeaky clean, un-fucking-believably funny. So talented. So funny. And it's just funny. It doesn't have to be clean or dirty. And we have that at the club. Me too. I mean, this is like the club gets labeled as some like kind of extreme anti-woke thing. It's nonsense. I played, I performed there at your club a couple of weeks ago. They totally loved it. Nobody expected anything. And they just enjoyed. They laughed all the way through. I love doing that. So to me, I see young people who don't know me and they're totally relating and I'm relating to them, which is great. That's what I want to do. We're human beings telling jokes. That's it. That's all it is. And if comedy done correctly is done from your perspective, whether your perspective is Nate Bargatze or your perspective is fucking, you know, fill in the blank, David Tell, whoever it is, Joey Diaz, Brian Holtzman, like whatever it is, it doesn't matter. It's like what's funny is funny. And it might not be your thing. Like that's the thing too. One of the problems with comedy is that there's only one, there's like one label. And you might go see like Brian Holtzman's like death metal comedy. Right. Or you might see Nate Bargatze. Who's like, you know, I don't know what's the, you know, what's equivalent. Well, Leanne Morgan is another one that was kind of out of nowhere became very successful because she has that clean Southern humor and the Netflix embraced her and all of a sudden she is touring and doing concerts. All you have to do is be funny. It's like funny from whatever. It's like funny from whatever perspective you're coming from. And again, it's not going to be for everybody. That's just how it is. Right. There's a lot of people that aren't going to like A or B. It doesn't matter. It doesn't matter. It's just, but the thing about comedy is like when you go to a comedy club, you don't know what you're going to get. You might get run DMC or you might get ACDC. You have no idea. Right. Right. It's just, it's all just comedy. But I think that's one of the cool things about it. Right. And I, I totally agree with you. And I want to be able to do that. One hour straight comedy. No, there was an interesting thing that happened about a year ago or so. I, a young comedian, he, he said, you know, I was writing some jokes and he was helping me. And he said, Jakob, you know that you're not a standup comedian. You're a one. You're a one man show. And I go, at first I was like, kind of what, what are you talking about? And because I tell, I tell in Branson's like more storytelling and not just punchline, punchline, punchline. And, and he was, he was correct. So I, at first I got kind of like, what do you mean? Who are you to tell me I'm not a standup comedian? And then I go, Chad GPT. Uh, is Jakob a standup comedian or is he one man show? And Chad GPT said, Jakob Smirnoff used to be a standup comedian and now he is a one man show. And now coming from Chad GPT, I'm going, dang, that's, that's now official. Wait a minute. So it took me a whole year to rewrite everything that I needed to rewrite to say, it's punchline, punchline. It's just straight comedy. So I became a standup comedian again. Well, there's nothing wrong with one man show standup comedy either. Cause some people do their comedy like a one man show and some of the best comics like Colin Quinn. Colin Quinn does a series of one man shows. But if you ask Chad GPT, who is Colin Quinn, he'll say he's a standup comedian. Right. But Chad GPT got me wrong. Whatever it was. He doesn't know. Whatever it was. It's not even a person. Right. Fuck Chad GPT. But, but, but it's actually helped me to tune in my comedy. And because I was maybe a little bit more relaxed being in my own theater with all people coming to see me. Right. So it's not like you're in a club when you're like with other comedians, when you have to be really, really sharp. Yeah. And that's what I think it did for me. So I spent a year doing that. Now I have that hour and I'm ready to go. And that's why I went on the tour. That's awesome. Yeah. I love when comics are still interested in it and still writing and still love it after all these years. You know who I draw some inspiration from as well as Argus Hamilton. Yeah. Argus is still killing it. Yes. Still killing it in LA. Keeps going. And every time there's something new in the news, he's got a great fucking line. Yeah. Yeah. He's got a great fucking line about it. He's a funny dude. He is. He is. And he's still getting after it. He still loves it. And you know, Argus used to like famously be into the substances. And now all he does is run. And I remember one time we were at the comic store and we were in the parking lot and it was after the show and Argus showed up with fucking running shoes on and just ran in. And I'm like, what are you doing, man? And he's like, I have to run every day. And do a set. Yeah. Because to him, that's his motivation. Yeah. And he does like, I think he runs like 10 miles a day. 10 miles a day. Yeah. He's in his 70s. And interesting that, you know, when I was so naive because Argus was very friendly with Mitzi and I would go to their house and I would see Argus there in the morning and I was like, why is, you know, and I couldn't connect those two things. I mean, I could not. I mean, honestly, it was, it was, I'll tell you how naive. I was. So Mitzi gives me that work, right up. And I live in that house. And Andrew Dice Clay moves into that house. Right. And Andrew teaches me English. Okay. Can you imagine that? Robert Dab-Dab. So, but, but that was a party house. I mean, this was a house where. Was Kennison living there then? Kennison would just hang out there all the time. And, uh, they would scream at each other, Andrew and, uh, and, uh, Kennison. And that was just kind of a joke between those two and they go, ah, and I would have to go to bed because I got to get up early in the morning to go work. And those guys are screaming at each other, uh, just for fun. And I go downstairs and I go, Hey guys, your friends stop. So I'm, we're playing this joke and they're yeah. Oh, screaming. And I go, you know what? Why don't you, you're close to the comedy store. Why don't you go downstairs and scream there? And they look at each other and go, okay, let's go. So it's midnight and we're all going, whoever lived there, going to the comedy store. And Sam gets on stage and starts screaming. This is the first time that. He ever got on stage and he went to the, and very few people in the audience and he went into their face. Ah, you know, that's where it came from. That's where it came from. And then after that, it just became like he's his thing and the rest is history. That's crazy. That was, that was happening there. A lot of stuff was happening there. They would come and do drugs. you know, like Robin and Richard. Richard Pryor, they would do, and I, it tells you this is silly, but I would wake up in the morning and I would see a mirror on the table, right? Okay, so bear with me. So, and there's like white powder on the table. So you'd clean it up. I was thinking they're eating donuts off the mirror. So I would clean whatever it was, hang it up. And next morning I go, Argus, why don't you guys use plates? You have a dishwasher. And they would laugh at me and they wouldn't tell me what's going on. But weren't they mad that you threw away their Coke? No, no, there was not much. I mean, it was just, yeah, there was residue. I had no idea. I wasn't testing it. That's how much Coke they had, that they left some of it on the mirror. Yeah. Isn't that crazy? That's crazy. It was, but I didn't know. So I kind of. Lived in that wholesome kind of a world in that crazy. So you were there while Kinison was developing. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Did he arrive at the store around the same time that you did? A little bit later. A little later? Yeah, a little later. Well, like what year did he arrive? Probably 79, I would say. And he really hit around like, what, 85, 86? Yes, yes. I think 85 he did Letterman. Yes, yes. And then 86 he had that HBO special that blew him up. Probably. Yeah. Probably. You know how I found out about Kinison? It's a funny story. I've told it before. I apologize if the audience has heard it. I was working at a health club at a gym called the Boston Athletic Club in South Boston. And I was a trainer. I teach people how to lift weights. And there was this girl who was a volleyball player. She was hilarious. She was this big girl, big athletic girl. She was very funny. She was just like. Like, boisterous. Like, a really loud, funny lady. And she was like my age. And she told me about Kinison. And then she told me about his bit. She's like, oh my God, I saw this guy on HBO. She had a heavy Boston accent. This guy on HBO, he was so fucking hilarious. And he did this bit about people having sex with corpses. So she does this bit. She laid down in the parking lot of the Boston Athletic Club and did that bit. So Kinison had a very famous bit. She did a very famous bit about homosexual necrophiliacs who were paying money to spend moments alone with the freshest male corpses. So she is lying down on the parking lot, on the ground in the parking lot. And she's like, oh, I'm going to lie down. She did the whole thing. I'm going to be with Jesus. And now I'm dead. Oh, what is this? It feels like someone's fucking me in the ass. You mean life keeps fucking you in the ass even after you're dead? It never ends. It never ends. It never ends. So she was doing his. She was doing his bit. And I was laughing at her doing his bit. I'm like, I got to see this guy. This is crazy. So that was my introduction to Sam Kinison. My friend lying on her stomach doing an impression. I'll never forget that, man, because I was 19 years old. I remember that. And I remember thinking. So it was 86. So I remember thinking, this is crazy. Unbelievable. That's. I had no desire to do comedy back then. I wasn't even thinking about it. It wasn't even on my radar. It was never even a thought. I loved it. I loved comedy. I loved watching it, but I never thought about doing it. So what made you. What was the transition when you started? Well, I was heavily invested in martial arts. That's all I wanted to do. All I wanted. My goal was to compete, and that's all I was doing. That's the reason why I got the job at the gym, so that I could have a place that I could work out, and also I could make money there. And my friends that I used to train with, they're the ones who told me to do comedy. But I was like, listen, you laugh at me because you're also psychos. Like, the things I'm saying are fucking crazy. Like, we're all fighters. We're all traveling around the country fighting. Like, this is not a normal activity. This is not normal humor. But my good friend Steve Graham, who I'm still friends with to this day, he's the one who taught me to doing it. And then I went to an open mic night, and I realized, oh, everybody sucks in the beginning. Like, it's just like martial arts. You start off and you suck, and then you get better at it. But my introduction. My introduction to comedy was that lady. Really, my introduction to Kinnison, rather. The idea. Because when I saw Kinnison, I was like, oh, comedy is a lot of different things. There's a lot of different forms to it. Because I always saw guys like Jerry Seinfeld who were very funny, and they'd tell these jokes, but I never thought that was me. I couldn't do that. But I saw Kinnison, and I was like, oh, this is a bunch of different kinds of comedy. This is very interesting. And then when I started out in 88, boy, the guys in Boston, used to talk about the comedy store like it was Mecca. Like, you had to go there. You had to go to the store. The store was where Richard Pryor started, and Sam Kinnison, and all these comics, and David Letterman, they all came out of the store. Bill Hicks, he was a doorman at the store. And everybody talked about the store. It was one of those things where it was like, you know, you had to go there. And then when I first maybe got on a television show, I flew out to L.A. to do a pilot, and that was the first time I ever went to the store. And I remember being so weirded out, just being in the building, like, wow. I can't believe I'm at the comedy store. When did you meet Mitzi? I met Mitzi in 94. So I did the pilot. The pilot wound up getting picked up. And then I came out, and I was on a TV show. It only lasted like six episodes. It was called Hardball. It was a sitcom about a baseball team. And I played the star player. I played this crazy dude. He was always crashing his Lamborghini and that kind of shit, you know? And so I would spend my nights every night at the store. I didn't have any friends, and I didn't know anybody there. So I just would just go to the set. And then after the set, I'd go hang out at the store. And then I eventually, Mitzi showcased me. I became a non-paid regular. So I got to go on after the comedians performed. So the way it worked at the comedy store, they'd have a show that was scheduled from, like, 8 p.m. to, like, 1 a.m. or close to it. And then after, it was probably, like, really midnight, but it always was, like, 1 a.m. by the time I got up. And then I would go on after everybody else. And I did that for a few months. And then she passed me. And I remember thinking, like, when she passed me, like, I was like, oh, no, I think I can be a comedian now. Like, this is, I actually can make a living doing this. Because before then, I wasn't sure. Right. Even though I was getting paid, and I would do comedy, I'd get paid to do comedy, it was still, like, very iffy. I'd bomb a lot. It was, like, it wasn't. Right. Also, it was, like, in the middle of this sitcom, so I was working all day. I didn't want to do that anymore. I liked it because it paid a lot of money, but it wasn't really my thing. I wasn't into acting that much. To me, it was, like, comedy was more exciting. It was live, live audiences. The sitcom thing was fun because you got to use, like, your skills in telling jokes as a comedian. But it wasn't the same thing. And then I got news radio. Which was a much more, much better show. And then I was, like, well, this is different. This is, there's other levels to this. And that's how I met Hartman and all those other people. But it was, to me, the most important thing was getting passed at the store. I was, like, wow. That was more important to me than getting a sitcom or anything. I was, like, I can't believe it. I got passed. My name's on the wall of the fucking comedy store. I'm, like, wow. It was so exciting. In lights, too, now, right? Do you have it, is it neon inside? Yeah, I'm on the wall inside. It's just, like, this lady, Mitzi Shore, like, people don't understand. She was the most important figure outside of all the comedians, the most important figure in comedy, by far. There was no one like her. And she was a mentor. She was, like, she was a curator of a mental health asylum. And she would joke around about it. She was, like, the inmates are running the asylum. And that was originally when we came to Texas. I was going to call it the asylum. Really? Yeah, because I thought, as a nod-- Mothership is much better. Yeah, yeah, it turned out better. Much better. But as a nod to Mitzi, the idea was that, like, because she was always saying, the inmates are running the asylum. She would say that all the time when we were there. Like, she encouraged it. She liked when comedians were out of their fucking minds. She loved it. She loved that environment. And so as a nod to her, we were going to call it. The asylum. But then I was, like, one of the things that someone said-- because, you know, Ron White was the first guy to move here. He was really, like, patient zero in the Austin comedy experience and the new version of the Austin comedy experience. And he was, like, it's the center of the country. I love it because I can fly to New York. I can go to Florida. I can go everywhere. It's in the middle. You know, it's like the flats aren't as long. People are nice. I love it here. And I was, like, oh, well, it's like the mothership. And then all the other places. Like, Lynch, Launch Out. That's where it got you. Yeah. And also, I'm obsessed with UFOs, obviously. I can see, right? Yeah, obviously. I have a bit of a UFO problem. Yeah. So that's why we called it the mothership. But I mean, the bar's named Mitzi's. Yes, yes. And it was, you know, losing her that early, I still think she went too early, you know, in-- Well, for me, it was like she suffered for so long. Yeah, that's true. It was really hard to see her. She had a neurological problem. later in her life, it was very hard to see her. She would come around the store. But, you know, she nurtured so many comedians and helped us all. And not always. Like sometimes she had terrible advice. She would change your whole act, make you have a fake name. She tried to turn Joey Diaz into Fat Baby. Is that right? That was his nickname or his name. So on the lineup, instead of Joey Diaz, it would say Fat Baby. She did that for like a couple years. Wow. Yeah, it was nuts. Yeah, you can find some of the old lineups. Jamie's found them before online. It's like a lineup from like 2001 or something like that. It says Fat Baby. That's what she was calling them. Yeah. She was a special person. Such a special person. And just that lady loved having that place. She knew that there was something going on there. And there had been something going on there. That was very unique in the world of comedy. And it was necessary. You know, to have a place like that where the comics all felt at home. Like we would perform in other places. Like we would do sets at the improv. We would do sets at the. I remember one time I did New Year's at the improv. And I came back to the club and Harris Peet says, I love it. You go over there, you do your shows, but you come back home. I was like, yeah, we're all. This is our home. This is our weird fucking home. Yeah. You know, the home for lost children. Like Mitzi would call it the. Home for the Island of Broken Toys. Yeah. Just a bunch of weirdos. Yeah. But all like feeding off of each other. But to be able to see somebody who barely speaks English and does five minutes and spot him somehow. Well, she loves developing comics. Yes. She loved developing comics. Right. She loved finding a comic and getting them. Right. Which is one of the. One of the problems was like, she didn't. It's really interesting. Like Jerry Seinfeld went and she didn't pass him because he was already developed. Right. Isn't that crazy? Yeah. Like she didn't like that. She was already. He's done. He's done. She liked taking people when they were really raw. That's true. And shaping them. Roseanne was her big project for sure. Yeah. She came from. She had a lot of big projects. Denver. Yeah. And so is Jim Carrey and many, many others. Sure. She also had like very specific like techniques she would use to test you. Like she would always take comics and put them on, like especially the young new ones after all the really good comics like she did with you. When you're talking about like doing that set with Richard Pryor going up and Robin Williams and that's what she would do. Yeah. She would take young comics that she thought had potential and she would shove them after the biggest names. Yes. People that were killing. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. She was such a unique person and such an important person in comics. And comedy. And Peter, that was a big moment of my life. I went to her funeral and Peter, her son, asked me to be one of the pole bearers in her funeral and I felt like full circle, you know. That's awesome. She gave me my life, you know, in a totally different way. If I didn't meet her, God knows what I would be doing. No. I mean, she helped all of us. And I think it's one of the reasons why we talk about her so much and it's the reason why we named the bar after her. Yeah. And the spirit of what she was trying to do at the store, we try to do at the mothership. It's all the weirdos. Welcome, weirdos. Welcome, weirdos. I'm in. Let's have fun. I'm in. Let's go. Yeah. How many times have you performed at the club now? Twice. Twice. Yeah. Yeah. It feels like the original room, the little room. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. The little boy's room. Well, you know what I say? It's like the little room is like if the original room and the belly room had a baby. And then the big room is like the original room and the main room had a baby. Yes. Right. Right. It's true. It's true. Yeah. It's true. But you've done a great job. It feels like home when you walk in there. It feels great. Well, I basically copied everything that I learned from her. Yeah. And added more stuff. Yes. Yes. That the comedians requested. And it's huge. It's interesting that I was helping to build that belly room and then Kill Tony started in the belly room. Yeah. You might have been the last person to work on that belly room too because that fucking room scares the shit out of me. I've been in the bottom, like in the bar area, ordering a drink and like roast battle be on stage and you see the ceiling move and you're like, Jesus, Yakov, get back up there with a fucking hammer and add some support. Yeah. I'm not taking the responsibility. I was just doing booths and- Oh, okay. Okay. You didn't do any structure. So I wasn't doing structure. No, no, no. Okay. That's good. Somebody was. Yeah. I just think some- There's no code. There is no code. Roast battle. When you have roast battle up there, like they would get so wild and rowdy and it would be packed. It would be packed. And it's only supposed to seat like what, 70 people or 80 people? Right. It would be a lot more than that. And the fucking ceiling would move a little. When you were in the bar, you're like, bro, I hope this doesn't cave in. That would suck. Yeah. Yep. Yep. Yep. A place is a magic place. And it's also a magic place because it was like a magnet for crazy people. You'd have the weirdest, nuttiest people that would just come there. Like that one guy. There's one guy that we used to come there. He was a really nice guy and he would always dress as Jesus. Yes. I remember that. Yeah. Do you remember his name, Jamie? Heavenly Light. That's right. And he wound up dying and everybody was so sad. They were really sad because this guy was, it seems like a gimmick, but we got used to it. And he was really nice. And he was just like this nice guy that dressed like Jesus all the time. There he is. But it was part of the fucking cool, crazy weirdness of the comedy store is that we had a guy that dressed as Jesus that was there all the time. Yeah. You know? And I don't know if he ever did stand-up. Did he ever do stand-up? I never saw him on stage, but he would be in the room sometimes and he definitely had timing to give a joke, but I don't remember ever seeing him with a mic in his hand. Isn't that crazy though? He was just always there hanging out and he was like, but that was the part of how nutty that place was. Right. The place was just strange. Yeah. We ran into so many completely schizophrenic people in the parking lot. They would just wander their way back there and start talking to us and explain to us about the voices in their head. He was on Brody's show with Zach. Oh, wow. Wow. Yeah. I mean, Brody had him on his show. That's how weird that place was, which is such a fucking, just an unusual spot. Yeah. And so we've done our best to make our own version of that. And that Cresthill house was also a crazy place, you know? Yeah. I'm not doing that. I think that was a terrible idea. I'm not going to buy a house and have a bunch of comedians live in it. That sounds like a recipe for a fucking disaster. I just can't manage all that. I almost bought Cresthill at one point in time. Really? Yeah. They were selling it and I was really thinking about buying it, but I had a dog at the time. His name was Frank Sinatra. Yeah. And Frank Sinatra was an escape artist. That was not a big enough. I'm a firm believer that if you have a dog, you really have to have a big yard. I think otherwise it's cruel. I think the dogs need exercise, they need something. If you don't have a big yard, you got to be able to be able to take that dog out every day and exercise them and bring them around. Otherwise it's rude. And Cresthill had that little tiny backyard. Remember? Yeah. He was on this fence. He was a pit bull. I'm like, "He's getting over that fence like that. That dog can get out of anything." I was like, "That poor guy, I'm not doing that to him." So I never bought it because of my dog. Literally, I was thinking about buying that house and she was selling it, but I went to look at it. I went to look at it to see if I could buy it. I think some comics might have been even living there at the time. So this was like- They sold it several times since then. I was just there not too long ago. It's all. It's all kind of destroyed because the guy is kind of wacky and he's remodeling it. But it was a big part of my life because I was living there in a little room. Andrew dies clay downstairs and he's teaching me how to date women. I know. I know. It's crazy, but I was so naive. And he was clean at that time. Act was very clean. He would tell. He would do impressions of Elvis and John Travolta and Sylvester Stallone. So he's. And he would be very funny. We were pretty good friends. He would just. But he would play with me. He would say. He would play that. I would have a girlfriend come and he would say, "So now you want me to.?" "You want me to go downstairs. Can you imagine Andrew being this crazy guy?" Now I got to go downstairs, and I'll be all by myself, and you're going to be with this girl, and you're my best friend, and how is that going to – I go, get the hell out of here. She's going to be here. And then she would come, and he would do it in front of her. Well, you guys are going to have fun now, and I'm going to have to go downstairs. There's nothing there, and you just play and play along. And then Tom Wilson was living there, too. Tom is the guy who did Biff in Back to the Future. He was the bad guy, right? And so Tom was kind of a clean-cut guy, and Andrew was not. So one time I was supposed to break up with this girl. I was – I wanted to break up with her, and he goes – Andrew goes, I have an idea for you. We're going to go to a jewelry store. We're going to get a gift for her, so it will be easy to break up. So we go. We buy a ring, and I'll bring it. I brought it back, and I go, Tom, Andrew told me to buy this ring to give it to this girl, so it would be an easy breakup. And he looks, and he goes – It's an engagement ring. You know that, right? And I go, but Andrew told me to buy it. He goes – Tom goes, Andrew is not a representative of a human race, so don't listen to what he's saying. So that's how – It was kind of a fun relationship, but it was interesting because I – It was very enterprising, and I'm working – For me, it's – You know, she's paying me whatever minimum wage, but I'm saving money, and we live with those guys, and we have a two-car garage, but no cars in it. So a friend of mine says to me, why don't we go to Germany together? We'll borrow some money. We'll buy two Mercedeses, and we'll sell one, and we'll get one for free. It was kind of – It was kind of an interesting idea. So we went. With some complications, I was able to bring two cars and sold – So here's – These guys are sleeping till, like, noon, and they don't have a car, and they don't – They're just bombing around. And I have two Mercedes in the garage. I sell one, and then I go to Europe. They hired me to do a Bob Monkhouse show. Which was kind of a Johnny Carson show for England. And I fly there, and they give me a bag of money, 10,000 euros – Not euros, pounds in a bag to do this show. So I buy a Rolls-Royce and ship it to America. So now I have a Mercedes 450 SL and a Rolls-Royce, but I live in a room for $120. So I have a Mercedes 450 SL and a Rolls-Royce, but I live in a room for $120 a month. Right? And so this is how weird it is. And I want to buy a house, but I don't have enough money. So this realtor passes by one day, and I'm polishing a Rolls-Royce. And she goes, can I borrow, like, a hammer to put the sign in? I go, you know what, you're a realtor. Maybe you can help me. I'm looking for a realtor. I'm looking for a house, and I liked when Mitzi had that big house, 5,000 square feet overlooking L.A. I'm like, I want something like that. And I said, I tell her, I want a 5,000 square foot house with an acre of land, and I want to buy it for, with the view of L.A., and I want to buy it for $150,000. And I'm thinking she's going to hit me with a hammer. She goes, I may have something for you. And I go, really? And she goes, yeah. And there was a house literally like a block away from where Mitzi's was, similar structure, only it was destroyed. It was a house that Lainey Bruce used to live in years ago. It was Seymour Cassell, who is a, he is a character actor. I don't know if he's still around. Maybe Jamie can find it of him. He was a character actor, and he got into drugs and lost that house to his attorney. And so I go look at the house. It's totally destroyed, but my parents needed a project. They were, and I needed them to have a project. So I said, how much would he, and he said, he'll take $150,000 because it's totally destroyed. There's stuff, swimming, there is stuff in the basement like flooded. The windows are broken, destroyed. So I buy that house, but I want to buy it. I have to get all the paperwork, and I go, I need this. There is some kind of discrepancy that a sliver of the land belongs to a neighbor or something like that. So I need to sign that guy, Seymour Cassell, supposed to sign something off. And I go, where am I going to find him? I go, the attorney goes, I know where he is. He's in jail. So I go to jail, and I figure, I'm going to find him. I'm going to offer him money to sign this paper. And I go in, I have like $500 in my pocket, and I go, I need you to sign this paper. And he goes, I said, how much? And he goes, 50. I go, 50,000? He said, no, $50. I go, why $50? He said, they won't allow, he said, they won't allow us more than $50 in jail. So now I'm in jail with a $100 bill trying to get change, which is not a good place to do it. I got it, and now I own that beautiful home. You still have it? No, I sold it and moved to Pacific Palisades that time. And when my kids were, my daughter was born, and then I moved to New York. And then I had to sell that house and lose a lot of money to move to Branson. And are you in Branson still? I do, yeah. You live in Branson? Yeah, I owned a theater there. So how did you start coming out here? It was a desire to kind of do what I felt compelled that I can still offer something valuable to the audience out there. So I was there watching Nate Bargatze doing that. And he had me actually, I was in Florida, and I wanted to go see his show. And he's in this Hertz Arena, 12,000 something people. And I asked if I could just go come see the show. And he said, why don't you go on stage and do a show? And I just sat and that was like, I walked out there and I felt like I was back in the '80s. The audience just, the moment they said my name, they knew who I was. That audience knows who I am. So they just went crazy. And I felt like Rocky standing there bowing. And then I did like eight minutes. Yeah. And so he's very respectful and very, he feels like I, one of the people that kind of paved the way for comedy to be what it is today. - That's awesome. - So I've been very blessed that, you know. - And so how did you wind up in Austin? - I came here for the festival that was that-- - Moon Tower? - Moon Tower. And then I had Adam, Adam got me a spot. And that's when I met Tony. And Tony said, why don't you be a guest judge on my show? And I was going with my family to Europe because my family's from Ukraine. So my wife's family from Ukraine. So they moved to Europe. And so we went there for two months and I said, Tony, I can't do this. And I said, Tony, I can't do this. all kind of came together wow yeah that's a small world what are you doing tonight i don't have any plans i was just was hoping to get through through this because you never know i i'm hoping that you know i'll be happy to do whatever is out there you know you were hoping to get through the show? Well, you have to know. I mean, your show, I don't think you can fathom how big your show. I mean, I know you know the numbers and you know, but to have the conversation for three hours and not really knowing where it's going to go, what's going to happen, how it's going to be, you get nervous, you know, and I feel like I was going to Nashville and that was Nashville Comedy Festival a year and a half ago. And I went there and I walked into Ryman's auditorium and Brian Dorfman, you probably know he's a promoter. He remembered me from the years. Yeah. In the past. And there was a show that all the Nate Borghese's, the proteges were doing. And I walked in, I didn't know what was going on. And he said, "You want to go up?" And I go, "Okay, I'll go up." And I went in the middle of the show and I did 15 minutes and the crowd gave me a standing ovation. In the middle of the show. And I know it's, I get emotional because I feel like an ugly duckling that goes in and doesn't know if there's young people going to accept you or not. And can you still do it? I was, I'm in Branson for 33 years. I'm very comfortable in that environment. But going into with the young comedians, it's, you know, it's not easy. It's like a boxer who hasn't been out there. And there is, there is respect, but also respect only lasts 30 seconds after they introduce you. But then you have to, you have to prove that you got what it takes. And that's what I feel like I want to continue to do this because I believe I can still offer something valuable. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I mean, it's, it's, it's very, very valuable to the audience that, that family audience that could learn something from me, could laugh with me, whatever it is. That's very wholesome, Yakov. You're a wholesome guy. Well, thank you. I didn't say, I mean that with all sincerity. Well, I'll tell you, it's interesting. I was, when I graduated from my, from Pepperdine and I came to Comedy and Magic Club in my. Wormosa Beach. I love that place. Yeah. Me too. Shout out to Mike Lacy. Yes. Yes. He's the best. And I showed up in my cap and gown, kind of proud. And Jay, Jay Leno is there all the time every Sunday. And Jay goes, "So what's up? What's up? What's up with that? What's up with that?" And I go, "Well, I decided to get a doctorate degree because I really think that there is a research on life." A research on laughter that you could really help people understand it better. And he goes, "Yakov, you're a comedian. You write a joke, you tell a joke, you pick up a check, and you go, and you go, and, and, and that's it." And I go, "But what about like humanity and. " "No, no." He goes, "No, no, you don't get it. You write a joke, you tell a joke, and, and, you pick up a check, and that's it." I feel like there is more that I can do. Well, you know, that's Jay's perspective. Right. My perspective is much more aligned with yours. I think there's a lot more going on. And I think comedy is very valuable to people, including me. If I don't feel good, then I can go watch people tell great jokes and laugh. I feel better. Absolutely. I like it. People like it. People keep coming to see it. There's a reason why people come. It's medicine. It really is. Absolutely. I know that's like very cliché. No, no. To say laughter is medicine. But it is. There's something to it. It's a lubricant. It's like engine without, if you don't have oil in the engine, it will not go. And I think laughter in the relationship is that lubricant. And with friends. Yes. It's just a fun thing to do. Absolutely. That's one of the reasons why I like going there. Yes. It's like we get to hang out together and laugh. Yes. Speaking of which, do you want to do a set tonight? Sure. All right. Do you know anybody who can get me in? Yeah. I know a guy. It'd be my show. I'd love it. So you'll do a set on my show tonight. Oh, my God. Yeah. Okay. I'd love it. All right. Oh, my goodness. Wow. We'll have some fun. What a gift. Thank you. And if people want to see you, other than that, you're on tour. What is the website? Is it yakov.com? Yakov.com. Yeah. My next show is in Atlanta this weekend. Well, people can go to it. It's up on the screen. There it is. Yep. Stand up, podcast host, legend. You have your own podcast? I did for about a year. What happened? A baby was born. Oh, you're doing a lot of good spots. You're doing The Punchline. You're doing The Punchline in Sacramento. You're doing Cobbs in San Francisco. Comedy Works in Greenville. Greenwood, rather. That's the other Comedy Works. There's two Comedy Works. Nice. Right. Big clitters. Great spots. Beautiful. Yeah. Yeah. People will come see you, man. I hope so. And you're very funny. Thank you. So it's good. It's good to see you out there still doing it. Thanks for having me. I really appreciate it. My pleasure. I really enjoyed talking to you in the green room. I'm glad we did this, because that's a crazy-ass story. Thank you. Thank you. My pleasure. Appreciate it. You're a good dude, Yakov. I love you. Thank you. All right. I love you, too. Thank you. Bye, everybody. For adults with Crohn's disease or ulcerative colitis symptoms, every choice matters. Tramphya offers self-injection or intravenous infusion from the start. Tramphya is administered as injections under the skin or infusions through a vein every four weeks, followed by injections under the skin every four or eight weeks. 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