(upbeat music) - Joe Rogan podcast, check it out. - The Joe Rogan Experience. - Train by day, Joe Rogan podcast by night. All day. (upbeat music) - It's happening, it's happening. - What's happening? - Good to see you. - Same. - We were just talking, so I had us pause Jamie before the podcast, so you were telling me that LeBron James is not gonna go back to the Lakers. How old is he now? - 41. - 41. - What is the oldest that a elite athlete has been? - Tom Brady's 44, I think, gonna fill QB. That'd be pretty high up there. - How was the current, how was the, was the Korean? - That's a good question. Holes, Korean, he retired. - Bernard Hopkins, I think would be the next. - Bernard Hopkins is number one. - Yeah, Bernard Hopkins. - We were talking about how he beat Kelly Pavlett's 42. But Bernard had a couple of years to incubate a little bit. - Oh yeah. (laughing) He knew about that. Yeah, not take damage and steal up the mind. He had the most intense discipline. That guy never got out of shape, which is also a giant contributor to longevity. Never was building back. He wasn't like a 42-year-old who was like, you know, he took six months off. I haven't been in the gym, no, but no, no, no. Every day, it was running, nutrition, everything was always on point, never buried. - Korean was like 42, I think. - So he might be the oldest of the past guys, but this was before all the science, right? - Yeah, science changes things. - Science. So we were just talking about the science. So Jamie, what are they allowed to take and not allowed to take? - I don't know. It's like, the NBA used to, like, I think for like weed stuff, they used to say that they'd get tested, I think, like October 1st, which is like right when preseason starts. - Per weed? - Yeah, and so like, if you, as long as you were clean on October 1st, that'd be good, 'cause they wouldn't test the rest of the year. - That's ridiculous. - But now, I know in the NFL, if you have a crazy game, you're gonna get tested the next day. They're just gonna check you for what was going on with you. - Yeah, why would you play good? - I don't think the NBA does that specifically, but I don't know, honestly. - So what are the rules in the NBA in terms of Marijuana now? I thought that was part of the thing that they negotiated in the contract to make sure, 'cause a lot of players like to be high when they play. - I think they might, they might just have, just stop testing for it at all. - I wanted to mention names, but I'm friends with some guys, and they tell me they can't play unless they're high. That's the same thing with pool players. I know a lot of pool players. They like to get lit before they get on the table. - Pool, pool, you should be lit playing pool. - Yeah, you feel things better. Here we go. NBA can randomly drug test each player up to four times during the season and two times in the off season with additional tests allowed. Anytime there is reasonable cause, but Marijuana is no longer part of the standard testing panel. Yes, sir. Yeah, so they can smoke weed, which makes sense. - Let 'em pull. It's not, what are you doing? It's not hurting anybody, and they play better with it. I think, leave 'em alone. That's what I think. What's they're doing? - Math. What's they doing? You know what I mean? - They also have another big bedding scandal that's kind of broken recently. - Oh, no. - It's 24 hours there. - Oh, no. - Where a player has been called out for throwing at least four games? And then where that's gonna go from here is kind of being speculated online. - I'll tell you where that goes. If people find out, there goes the bullets. That's the problem. The problem with someone throwing a game is somebody bet on that fucking game. A lot of people bet on that game. - In cases I've seen though are like the overs, like they had player props, and like he needed 4.5 rebounds, and he has four, and he's just trying extremely, extremely, extremely hard to get that extra rebound, which is like, no, it's wrong. - Wait a minute. - It's not that bad. - That means he's playing well. - The other one, which was, he was fixing a spread at like in the last second. Like he sprinted down the court to get an extra basket with like three seconds on the clock when they were down by 10 or seven technically to beat the eight and a half points bread. - Yeah, but so what? He's just scoring. - How can you ever-- - It's just, when you're watching basketball enough, you go like that doesn't happen that often. Why would you do that? - That's like looking to us. - Yeah, especially, you used to be with throwing the ball, and I was just throwing it down there. Not you running down there. - I know, but if you can do it and score, why would you do it? I don't need to understand why anybody would question that. - You down by 10, it's five seconds to go. The game is over. - Fuck you, I want that ball and the net. - Fuck you, man. - What? - No, what, why? 'Cause that's not gonna change. Oh, we lost by eight, but it just means you're competitive to the end. You never give up. - And you-- - Even though you know you're losing. - And no starters on the floor at this time. You down by 10, it's five seconds to go, no starters on the floor. - Yeah, but it's not like he's missing on purpose. So it's one thing if the guy's like missing on purpose, but if he's scoring on purpose-- - Five seconds. - Five seconds to go, fuck a lot. - All right, so similar thing, World Cup just happened like two, three nights ago, where they just got under the knockout round, you know, so the big tournament was every team plays three games to figure out where you figure or where you end up to play the next part of the tournament. 10 teams get eliminated. Third place team for the first time ever can make it through. And so there was, I think it was Algeria and I forget the other team, sorry. But if they both tied, they both move through. If one team wins and one team loses, one team goes through. And then the like, with four minutes to go in the game, they're kind of just passing the ball around. The score is tied and one team goes ahead and scores. And it kind of starts to fight on the field where you see the other team yelling at the other team like, fuck you, like, I don't know exactly what they're saying, but like what, like, and then it was like two minutes to go. The other team sort of just stops playing defense and kind of seems to like let them score. - Oh, God. It's like, is that a big collusion? Or if they just were like, made a dreamer? - How do, don't they have mics on those guys? - It's such a crazy game. - They have to have mics on somebody. They have strong mics now and they have people that can lip read. They can pick up, hey, motherfucker, you're supposed to leave this a tie. If that happens, like, you can't play anymore, right? Like, what happens to those guys? They have to get suspended for a-- - That'd be the entire, that'd be both teams, the coaches, it'd be everybody's, so I don't know. - I don't really know how it's gonna pan out but it was very-- - What a conundrum. - Yeah. - How could you do that? Like, I hate that. This is what I don't like about sports betting. Not that, 'cause that's about advancing. But about sports betting is the even the consideration that a person is playing a certain way because they're worried about a spread or because they've been paid off to not score or they've been paid off to foul. You know, like, there's the problem with these things is you could bet on anything. - You can bet on anything. - Anything, anything, anything. So if you're a crooked and what has been like the most crooked aspect of the fucking human race over the past like 100 years, other than the legal system, the most crooked aspect has been sports betting. It's always crooked. - Sports and politics. - Politics. - They damn nid. - They're all the same. - Yeah, they the same. - It's the same, it's money. It's anywhere, anytime there's money involved and decisions can be shifted, influence can be used to make something happen. - But it seems like that with most things that people, you know, have some type of, you know, high-arkey desire for, they, they- - 100%. - They gonna put something in, you know, like, even with like awards and games. This is a who can promote the best and who can, if you can take all the people that vote to dinner and, you know, smews them at dinner, it's gonna be a thing where, who's gonna beat you when you have all the voters, or you have a situation where you have people that work for your company that can vote. It was then who, how are you not gonna vote for the project that the company put out? - Right, you know, we got 60 voters, you know, so we least got 60 votes. - I think you said it best when you said the hierarchy. That's really what it is. It's in anything that has any kind of a hierarchy. Politics is the ultimate example. - Politics is the ultimate example. - But there's, there's that hierarchy shitting everything in the world, everything, and it trips people up. - But with politics, it is a little more detrimental than with sports, you know, sports is, you know, you gamble and people trying to win things, but with politics, it's like, if you're not, somebody that's not qualified can be in a position where, you know, they making decisions on the masses of people's lives. - Not just that, they get in a point, judges. - Which is? - And they get in a point, crazy judges. Like, there's obviously judges, like, they have disputes. Well, why do they have disputes? Because they're ideologically captured on both sides. There's people that are like, you know, like, certain right-wing judges. You throw some case out there that's a right-wing case, abortion rights, whatever it is. Immigration, you know how they're gonna vote. Same thing with left-wing people. Like, hardcore left-wing people, you guarantee, trans women in sports, trans women in women, let them play in sports. That was a recent Supreme Court order. Three judges said that trans women should be able to play in women's sports. The rest of them said, fuck no. The other six canceled it out luckily and you know those people are not
taking to account the sport. Like, it's a difference if you were originally something and now you're playing it something else, your strength is different. Everything's different. And, you know, you don't feel that until your daughter gets knocked out the ring, which she's supposed to be. Boxing somebody, that's the same gender. Then now she's a whole side of her face broke from, you know. - It's insane. It's insane. And it's not cruel to not let that happen in sports. That's what Title IX is about in the first place. Give women the opportunity to play in an equal time as men. That's a good thing. Having men that think they're women, play with women, it's fucking crazy. Like, what do we, it doesn't mean, you know, you need to castles people out of society. It doesn't mean that you live and let live. I agree. But get the fuck out of the women's room. - Yeah, you got it. - You have a dick. - If you look. - Get the fuck off the team. You're running track at a literal, a women's Olympic level and you're 15. You want it because you have a dick. This is crazy. You're not really a girl. This is nuts. - That's the world we live in. And no, I don't even say that's the world we live in. That's the world that's being presented to us at this point. - That's right. - You know, and it's, you know, there's a lot of things like this, right? You, this is why in comedy, I choose not to go the current, the current of fail or the political route. Because I don't have time to separate the room. I'm too busy trying to do things to bring the room together. And that's more of a righteous aim for me. - Well, you, I said this before, I'll say it live publicly. Well, you've done this very extraordinary because you've made it a giant following online, completely organically. It's very inspiring because all you do is just do your thing, the best that you can and put it out there and it just keeps growing. It's amazing. It's very, it's very cool. It's very inspirational and it's, you should be proud of it because what you've done, like I said, it's totally organic. Like, you don't have a bunch of production companies pushing you and trying to make you more popular than you are. No, it's all just putting it out there and getting this gigantic following just from your work, just the work. - Appreciate it. And then, you know, even with that, you still have some type of responsibility to not see things the same as other people. Like, what I just got all this flack about, me talking about the, how this business of people inflating things has caused depression in comics. You know, that we supposed to be a happy craft, but now it's this big push about, if you're not on social media, you're not on this, you're not on that a lot of these comics are, you know, going through this mental health thing, what they always said about their numbers, or, you know, or this and the third thing. Like, yo, man, it is a, it's a thing, and some people inflate things. And everybody wants to be on the same level. So sometimes you can't be, or you can, but people look at it as a certain way, when you proud of the steps that you've taken. And if I played in the G league, that's not the NBA. So I wouldn't say that I was playing, I played in the league, 'cause I know what the league means. I know, you know, I know this is just the G league, but when I present myself, yo, you know, I play in the league. People automatically think the NBA, you know, it's not, it's not, the G league is not knocking the G league, but that's not the first thing that comes to my mind. You know, you know, it's just a, playing for the Washington generals is not the NBA. Even though you played against the Globetrotters, they were great players, but we know how this game goes, but people, that's how people see things now. - Well, the number of things is real. The number of things is a real problem with people, because it gives you a quantifiable measure of whether or not you're doing well. And if you already have anxiety, which a lot of comedians have, you're already like socially awkward, which a lot of comedians are. You don't feel accepted, which is how a lot of comedians feel. And then you look at those numbers. You're like 2400. I only have 2400 dollars. I've been doing comedy for seven years. Why do I only have 2400 dollars? And then you go to someone's page that you've never even heard of, they have 1.2 million. You're like, what the fuck? - And so this is about being grateful in the position that you're in. I remember when people was pushing me, how you need to get on it and that you need to be on social media. Okay, but I would see those people that had all those followers. And that same year, the year before that I did a half hour special comedy central, then the 2018 I did a full hour special comedy central. I had 500 followers on Instagram. I had 300 followers, 300 subscribers on YouTube on a page that I didn't own. I had to fight to get this page. I had less people on Facebook. But I was efficient in what I was doing. So the numbers didn't, they didn't pick me because I had these numbers. They picked me because I came and I did what I did. And then they, oh, he's great. So then we started going a route to build it up but we were already getting things prior to the numbers. - Right, what year is this again? - This is 17 and 18. - Okay, so the difference is that in 17 and 18, people were just starting to be aware of the power of social media and then they were really concentrating on different comics that had a large social media following. I think that was like right when it first started happening. - Dang Cook had blew up before that. - Yeah, that was a Myspace. - That was a Myspace internet, another internet thing. - That's true, that's true, that was different. But the difference is like he had gotten so huge just from that that he was already doing like arenas. And so he was already huge and then they just went with him. But he was like super popular. Now it's like super popular on social media. It's one of the most important things. So now moving up to this, 'cause I have a strong one with this. So I have a million followers here, a million followers there, all these specials. I still didn't get invited to the BT Awards. I still didn't get invited to a bunch of things. I still looked over four things, even though I have numbers and success. But I don't worry about it. I'm just in my, I'm not watching to judge myself against what somebody else is doing. It's guys who have less everything. But they're in this round where they had everything. I see guys is that everything with no specials and no proven thing, they just around. And I'm like, okay, but it's, I think the point that I'm not judging myself up against what somebody is doing socially. - But that's also easier when you're successful. And you're successful, you're very successful. So the difference is like when you sell out these shows and you put out these specials, I've seen your specials, I've seen millions of views. So it's like, obviously you have a following. If you didn't and you were doing the same thing, then it'll be a problem. But then also that would, it's like comedy in a lot of ways, not always, but in a lot of ways is meritocracy. If you're good, people will come. It's that simple. - Fight Night is here. Title shots, debut killers and the rising contender, nobody's talking about yet, and only DraftKings has you covered every step of the way. The DraftKings app is now available in all 50 states and includes all markets, bringing the games straight to your fingertips wherever you are. 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[email protected]/audio. - But I also have no desire to inflate things and compare myself to some of my, make myself seem like I'm more than what it is. Like, guys, amen, I got, I'm at this room, I got 50 tickets sold. Okay, how much the room seat? On the room seat 300. Okay, cool. You have 50 people more than you had, than if you didn't play the role. It was ain't 'cause who knows you in Utah? Your bill, it's a building thing. Like, I got all of this, all of this going on. But if I go to Utah, I'm in a comedy club. (laughs) It doesn't matter what happened tonight before I was just an arena, but in you
it's like, it takes me back to on training places. He said, I mean, this is, he gave all this elaborate what this watch is. And that man said, this is what this guy was in the same look. Like, I don't care about you bonding the watch. And so, I don't have that. And I'm not, if I, it's like you own a club, okay? It's guys that can come to your club and sell your club out. And then there's guys that come to the club and you paper the room, okay? Then there's guys like, when you're in the theater, some, you can scale a theater down. Some theaters hold 4,600 people, but you can scale it down to 2,000. But then the, I'm not going to say if the room holds 4,600, I put 2,000 tickets on sale. I didn't sell out the theater. I sold what I put on sale. It was then, because I'm not to the point where I can get the 4,600 yet. If I could sell the room out, then I would need to relish the real accomplishment versus the lesser accomplishment. Inflating, yeah. And that's, and because I don't have this thing where I'm in competition with what happened before me, you know, so with other people. So I'm in San Antonio, we at the theater and because people can make you feel bad about anything. If you, if you, a person that feels bad, this thing, Minnesota, it's, it's all these people that's on the team that, that play for the Boston Celtics, that are millionaires, they already millionaires, they play in the league. Boston traded seven people to Minnesota for one person, Kevin Gornet. They got rid of seven human beings for one person. So it's like, if I was a person that felt bad about my career, this would, would make me feel bad. Like they, like the first person that they at, they also, okay, I'm a trade, this person for that, but they're like, no, well, I'm going to give you two more people. They're like, no, in that, well, I'm going to give you four more people, like, okay. And, and a lottery pick, okay, I'm, I'm going to feel horrible. They traded me for seven people, y'all didn't even want me realistically. So Boston went, they got Kevin Gornet, I mean, um, what's, yeah, Kevin Gornet. And seven other millionaires, they got all this money, they went to Minnesota. It was then, so if somebody wanted to make you feel bad about something, you know, they, they could, if that's what, are you all, so I'm, I'm in San Antonio. The line is around the block. The place is sold out. It's the same, sell out, no matter who comes to this, sold out. That lady said to my face, my, you should have saw it when Matt Rive came. I was like, in my mind, I was like, in our ass, I say, was it a different thing? And she said, no, same thing. So when Matt Rive came, he sold it out. I sold out two nights, I mean, two days and the same night. But her thing was, you should have saw it when Matt Rive came. I was like, okay, she probably wanted you to feel bad. I was like, but I'm not good. Good for you, good for you, but the thing is a lot of people would. That's what it is. A lot of people are in competition with other people. I think you should be inspired by other people. You know, if you want to compete in that way, be inspired. But the, the moment you turn it into a negative, it's like, are you, you're, you're a fool. You're being a fool. Competence. In charity. Also, inspiration is power. It's fuel. If you see someone doing well, so you see someone set and you like it, that's it's fuel that makes you want to go work. Makes you want to get some shit done. It makes you, it gives you energy. It may, or it could cripple you if you're a dummy. If you're a dummy and you get angry and you get bitter, and then you just put all this negativity on the person who's doing better than you, which a lot of people do. That's, that's, that's so weird. That's a weird dynamics in this business when you know that it's going to be people. No matter what you're doing, it's going to be somebody doing better than you. When I was in comedy clubs, I remember being there and they were paper in the room. Okay. I wasn't saying I was selling out. They was paper. Or I know out of all it is 300 people in here. 240 these people came because it was, it was freezing. They sent out the email blast. But then what I looked at was, they wanted to come. Yeah. It wanted to come. They're probably comedy fans, which is why they're on the email list in the first place. And then those people, you give them a great show. They'll come back. Then the next time I came, they didn't paper the role. They sold, they sold the tickets. That's, that's how it used to be, man. That was the old days before social media. You would build a market. So you would just show up at Philadelphia once a year, show up, do your homework. Like make sure you got a tight set. You've been practicing. You're ready to rock. You fuck these people up and then leave. And then they're like, can't wait to you guys are back again. And then next time you come back, you know, all right, I built an audience now. I got to, I can't disappoint these people. I got to get fired up. And that's what it used to be. It used to be a totally organic thing across the whole country. Is it a, is it a thing? Is it a difference in your opinion between me bringing my audience to a venue from whatever other thing that I do versus people coming that don't know anything about me and me winning that person over. Versus the opposite. Yeah, it's a different thing. You know, people are coming to see you specifically. You've already won them over. That's a different thing. Or they want to take a chance on you. That's a different thing because I've heard about you. But when, you know, that's a completely different thing. Because that's your, you have an audience now. You have fans. When you are just performing at a club and it's a papered room, you have an opportunity. You have an opportunity to turn these people into fans. You have an opportunity to give these people a great night and have a good time. And also you're doing your fucking thing, which is the most important thing of all. Everybody is results oriented. I try to be process oriented. When I, with everything I do, I'm process oriented. I think about there's, there's a goal that you got to reach. But how do you get to that goal? The way, the way you get there is not thinking about the goal. The way you get there is thinking about what you're doing. What's the process? The process is writing bits, performing them, tweaking them, getting them tight, knowing, reviewing tapes, going over your material, going over your writing, talking with friends. And then every day it gets a little bigger. Every day it gets a little better. Every day that knife gets a little sharper. That's the process. That's the process that leads you to become whoever, whoever you are. And then you add other little pieces in that process. I mean, I was talking to Bobby Lee and me and Bobby Lee talking. I said, Bobby, you don't realize what you met me at. And he's like, well, it's just a good, it's going to be a good story as a bad story. I was getting a lot of bad stories. I said it, you met me at Houston Improv. And they called me and asked me, did I want a host? A room that I already sell out, MZN, they asked me, did I want a host? I said, cool. So I came and I hosted and I was not trying to, but I was destroying his feature. I'm just hosting. Well, you should not be hosting. And especially at the Houston Improv. But my thing was, this was years, this was years ago. But I say, Bobby, you didn't understand when I was hosting at the Houston Improv, I was doing something that most people didn't understand when I was even doing it, and they would see, why would you be hosting? I said, because I'm not going to be in front of Bobby Lee's audience. But it's people that live in Houston that his audience that I have no idea who I am. I said, Bobby, but before you, I said, I was coming to the Houston Improv hosting for multiple people. And I was just winning over fans that would never had seen me if they wasn't coming to see you. They wouldn't be coming to my show. I said, so before that, it was, you were last, Bobby. It was you and the weak prior to that, it was Marsha Brownie. And the weak prior to that was, um, was my girl, um, Angela Johnson. Angela Johnson. And before that, it was, um, some random white guy. I said, I just came and I want to do, I'm a comic. So me hosting was no big deal. I wasn't working. So I said, well, let me just come host it. That's what they want me to do. So I gained fans from four different audiences in a month. So when I came back, it was like, yo, I saw you with Marsha Brownie. And so I came back, I came back to see you when you, when you put your show up. I'm like, cool. So my process, that was a part of my process. It didn't matter who I hosted for. And I was like, okay, cool. And I'm like, let me, let me go like, when I hosted for, um, Bill Burr. Bill Burr was like, this is crazy. We, we in Austin at the Paramount is in like, and I said, I said, the worst thing about this was that at the time I was wearing all black. And I went to the show.
And when I walked on stage the first thing I said is, "Hey, I do not work here." (laughing) It don't, like, eight people asked me where's the bathroom. I don't know, I don't worry. But it was like, I look like an usher. (laughing) Like, yo, I'm like, yo, this sucks. You know what I'm saying? But it was a cool deal. - That's a smart approach. I mean, that's a great way to build, especially if you're already headlining. - Yeah, I think that thing about concentrating on the process, people should try to apply that to everything. You know, my friend John Dudley, who taught me archery, he's a big believer in that being process oriented. Like, I said, you get better at archery and he used to compete all over the world, travel, compete in archery tournaments. I think that applies to everything. I think that applies to music. The most, I think one of the things that trips people up about social media, a lot of these young guys, in particular, young people, in particular, is that they are thinking about other people, and they are comparing themselves to other people, and they are looking at those numbers. And you're spending all of your energy, if you have an allotted 100 units of energy in a day, you're spending a disproportionate amount on things that don't empower you and actually kind of fuck your head up. Not good for you, at all. Instead of saying, wow, I am chasing the fucking dream. Right, I am out here being a professional comedian, and I have a real chance to develop a real following. If I put my time in, I put my, I really care, and I really work hard. I could sell out a theater one day. That's possible. Like, that's a goal. That should be a goal just like getting your PhD in chemistry, or whatever the fuck it is your goal is. But the process is what's important. The process is like appreciating what you're doing, why you're doing it, and just bearing down and doing your best. That's it, that's it. And in other people, look at them as inspiration. Other people that are kicking ass, you know, don't become a hater. That shit is so bad for you. I know so many dudes who have like hater tendencies and they never excel, never. It's the counter thinking of an excellent person is a hater. Someone is always trying to diminish people and downplay people and look at someone in the least charitable way and the worst possible way. Just somehow another trying to make themselves feel better, but it doesn't work. It does the opposite of work. It robs you. It robs you of yourself, esteem. It robs you of yourself respect. You're spending so much time thinking about this other dude, like why? - It's a lot of energy and my dad, this is one story that I did not put in the special that I should have. And my dad had all these these thoughts. And he was, I live to say he was a crazy man, but when you think about the things that he would say, made sense, my dad. And why would you be telling me this at the age that, but he just gave them, I think I was like 11. And my dad out of nowhere to say, you know what I'm, people spending the same time and money on being fake when they can put that same time and money into being real. - Yeah. - And I'm like, I don't know, I understand what that meant. But as I got older, if you spend any money or time faking something, you could probably spend that money and time being real about something. - Yeah. - You know, why go buy a fake necklace to attack like you rich, when you can go buy a real necklace? It was then, at some point, it was then, and, you know, be actually be rich. You know, if that's what, if you compare it to necklaces, but I just didn't understand it at the time, but then as I got older, I understood like, why put this time in to pretending when you can put that same engine and then become real at what you do, it makes no sense. - My uncle Vinny, when I was six or seven years old, I was staying at his house with my cousins and we were supposed to brush our teeth. And I didn't like following rules, period. And so I wouldn't brush my teeth instead, I would take toothpaste and smushin' around on my teeth and so that when they smell my breath, they would smell toothpaste. And my uncle explained to me, he goes, he goes, I understand why you're doing it. He goes, but the amount of time that you're spending pretending to brush your teeth, you could have just brushed your teeth. And I thought about that when I was six, I was like, damn, that was just a little kid. But I was like, hi, he's right. Why am I faking brushing my teeth? (laughing) - I'm like, put on a six years old though, man. - My uncle Vinny was like super patient, super calm. Out of all my family members, he was the strangest. Out of all these wild, crazy Italian people. Like, he was an artist and he was like, very soft, spoken and never got angry about anything. But I always speak really rationally. I was like, God, he's so smart. He's just so peaceful. He just, but the way he laid it out, he didn't say, hey, I know you're not brushing your teeth, you little fuck. What's up with that? It was the time you're spending pretending to brush your teeth. You could have just brushed your teeth. But it was like, sometimes adults will say something to you like that when you're six. And it just gets in your head and you're like, whoa. Okay. That just saved me a whole lot of time. (laughing) He's brushing. Just brush your fucking teeth. Stop pretending, stop faking. It doesn't help anything. It does the opposite. Does the opposite. And people, the truth sometimes is hurtful to people. The truth doesn't feel good to a lot of people, unfortunately. But you have to look at it. You have to have perspective. But that's the ultimate hate right there. That's the ultimate hate is for me to give you a falsehood instead of tell you the truth. Right. That's the ultimate, it's the ultimate hate. I especially if you're making up a background for yourself. You're making up a story about your life that's not true. You're pretending you're somewhere in life that you're not. You know? Yeah, oh man, just do the thing. Just do the thing. Yeah, but it's hard for people. It's hard for people. And then there's a lot of people that think you just fake it until you make it. And then you hear stories of this guy. I had $500 in my bank account, and I told them, I got this. I got that loan. And next thing you know, my business is making all this money. And you go, wow, he faked it until he make it. And it worked. And you think it's going to work, but it doesn't hurt most of the time. That's so few and far with him, then they never tell you that that guy goes to jail later for all. Yes, 100% 100%. You know, the fans busted miles three years later and took everything. You're like, OK, exactly. Like, when they arrested Carl Spence here recently, for like all those counts of tax fraud, I was like, OK. I don't want that to happen to him, but there it is. Right? I mean, that's what it is. I'm not laughing at Carl Spence here. I'm just laughing at fake things. He's like, yeah, when he busts, he goes, I mean, I didn't. I was, it didn't bring me any joy to see that. I don't like anybody getting arrested for taxes. I think, I think taxes until they have an accurate account of where the fucking money goes. And until you completely eliminate all fraud and waste, what the fuck are you doing, locking people up for not paying taxes? Like, you guys should get locked up for not doing a good job with our money. So what do you think about all the new purchases and redone the White House and all this with tax dollars? Did they do it with tax dollars? How much money do they spend in tax dollars to do the ballroom? Let's find out. What's that? They need a ballroom, though. That's how that guy snuck in with a gun, because they tried to do that White House correspondence dinner in a hotel. That dude who got arrested a few months back. What's this, this resolution, the pool, something full of algae right now that we spend on that? Yeah, I don't know about that. That's something about making the pool look nice. But whatever that is reflecting pool reports indicate the new White House East Wing ballroom is projected to cost about $600 million with roughly half just over $300 million coming from taxpayer-funded government accounts, despite earlier promises that it would be taxpayer-free. $300 million sounds like a lot until you find out how much money they spend on other things. When you find out how much fraud is in NGOs, how much fraud is in nonprofits? How much fraud is in insider trading and propping up companies so that they can get better deals? Well, the whole thing is fraud. The thing is, if you spend and understand how much money goes another thing, but if you spend in any money that's my money, that I don't know that I need it, or that's not really the aim to go. You should be able to vote on it. You should be able to vote on where all your tax money goes. How much tax money is being spent on getting smart people in places, getting smart, making smart children? That's the big one. That's the thing. The big one is, if you look at our country as a community, and that's what we're supposed to be doing, we're supposed to be the United States of America, all that bullshit aside, that was the one good thing that happened about 9/11.
When 9/11 happened after that we were all united. It was crazy. It was crazy. We realized like we are actually on a team. So if we're on a team, why do we have these deeply impoverished neighborhoods for decades and decades that are riddled with crime and drug abuse? Why? Is it impossible to fix? That's crazy. That's not true. There's just no one's tried to fix it. No one's done any effort to fix it. And if you did fix it, you want to make America great. Here's the best way. Less losers. And how do you get less losers? More opportunities for people. More opportunities. More support. More education. More everything that you need if that was your neighborhood. And if we did that, we'd have to switch the way our system runs. But that could be done, man. That's the thing about make America great. If you're trying to make anything great, don't you need intelligent people to do that? Of course. That's the number one thing. So when we have all these divisive people that's on a lower vibration, how is that making the country great if we're putting people in position that don't have the experience or the education in those things. And then we're just saying a bunch of divisive things. If I'm watching the extravagance that it happened to White House, what was the thing? Michelle Obama is a man. How did that help? How did that help? That guy says that every time. But what is the thing? First of all, it's really divisive because you know that a large portion of the country is going to have a problem with this. Clearly, she's not a man. It was saying, but it makes no sense. I've never seen this many people say so many damaging things about a past president. It's like he's still on the forefront and it's not like we have a president who's doing the greatest job for this country, you know, which is weird or weird thing to me. And people are going, ask, is that what's the belief? That's the real belief of people. That's the real thing. Well listen, there's some crazy people that believe the world is flat. There's a lot of dumb beliefs. There's probably people that do believe Michelle Obama's a man. What that guy does, he's like a pro wrestler. Like he's got a character called the incredible Hulk. It's very corny in a lot of ways. Sometimes it's, you know, cringey. But the point is he gets a lot of attention, a lot of attention because of all this. That's what he's doing. So what he's trying to do is maximize the amount of attention that he can get for a very short window of career. This is not how he really feels how he really thinks. When you talk to him in real life, it's very reasonable. This is an act that he does, like a pro wrestling act. But what he can do is fight. He's really good. And that's what's so confusing about it all. So you got this guy who's created like this fake persona, where he puts on an American flag bandana, comes out the Hulk Hogan music, does all his interviews with sunglasses on, has a bunch of crazy silly rhymes, and says ridiculous shit, just trying to get attention. The most amount of attention. It is very divisive. Don't get me wrong. But that's by design. So he's Hulk Hogan and Randy Savage in the same in the same person. But an actual fighter and really fucking good one, man. He just knocked out Derek Lewis at the White House. Derek Lewis has the most knockouts in the history of the story. Don't do that. Don't do that. Don't do what? This, this, this, don't, don't, don't say that. It's so excited because Derek Lewis go to the same gym, mainstream boxing gym Houston. I'm very close to that. Dude, I love Derek Lewis. I don't like the fact that Derek Lewis lost that fight. I think is Derek, Derek of 10 years ago, would have been a real fucking problem for that dude. Because Derek of 10 years ago, you couldn't hold him down. He would just get up. He had, there's a whole compilation of people trying to hold Derek Lewis down. We just get to hand on you and just, whoop, your, his grip. They did that UFC grip thing where they test the grip. Everybody's like 140, the strong ones are like 160, one night. Derek just squeezed it casual to 18. And they were like, what the fuck? So you see how problematic this was for me? You already beat my, my friend, then you turn around and say. He beat a 40-year-old Derek Lewis. A 40-year-old Derek Lewis, then turn around and say, Michelle Obama's a man. I was like, okay, you know what you're saying? I know what you're saying. I'm pissed. You're right. Listen, like I'm pissed. You're right. But I'm telling you, if you met that dude in real life, you would get it. He's just a dude. He's just a guy who is a competitive wrestler played in the NFL. And he's like, I got to do something to figure out how to get people to pay attention to me. Because it can't just be fighting. It's not enough. If you look at Conor McGregor, you look at Sugar Sean O'Malley, you look at these guys that have these flamboyant personalities. These big personalities. They get cashless clays, the original example. They get an immense amount of attention. And that translates into much more money and much more opportunities. There's no fucking way that guy would have gotten that fight at the White House. If he couldn't fight. Because the fight that he had before, that he fought Curtis Blades, who was a top 10 UFC heavyweight, huge wrestler. And they went to war, dude. I mean, he put it on him for three fucking rounds. Like Curtis just has an insane heart and survived it. But that guy can fucking fight. But just that alone is not enough. But you got to get attention. I don't agree with it. I wouldn't do it. It's not my thing. I don't like it. But I get it and it's smart. Well, Muhammad Ali, though, he was very respectful in his, in his, in his act, in order to get attention, you know, just like he wasn't. I mean, he wasn't with other people. But he would show up at fucking Sonny Liston's house and scream about him on his fucking front lawn at four in the morning. He did wild, crazy shit. He did a lot of what he was just all about getting your heart rate up, getting your emotions in there. He was so fucking smart. He knew before everybody that you could just get somebody into a frenzy and they wouldn't be able to sleep. Their whole life revolved around fighting you. And I can't let this guy beat me in the fear of losing. He's going to keep you weak. It's going to keep you. You're not going to be able to eat as much food. You're going to feel nervous. But you see what happened with somebody called him. Cash is clean. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. You see. The thing was. Yeah. What fight? You kept punishing him. It's my name. But that didn't work out for him. He beat the lead. He carried him. He carried him. He was a special, special guy. You know, I'm not comparing him in terms of his cultural significance to Josh Hockett because, you know, he was my parents, my mother and my stepfather were hippies. They never watched fighting. But when he had a rematch with Leon Spinks, that's how much of a cultural figure he was. They wanted him to beat Leon Spinks. Oh my God. He's got to win. He's got to win. Hippies. Sitting in front of the fucking TV in like 1970, whatever it wasn't. Oh, crazy. They have Italian hippies. I was like, because I heard it. It was like my family was like, that's all they were the Italian. Italian. Well, they were hippies. But, you know, my grandmother went to jail for running numbers for the mob. So, it's like there was a lot of. Okay. There was a lot of it. There was a lot of things. Yeah, Grandma went away for a little bit. She wouldn't rat him out, so she did some time. I was at a show one time, and I said, well, all the Africans in here. And this Italian dude, he's from Sicily, he raised his hand. I said, and the people were like, wow, he raised his hand, he knows. He knows. He knows. He knows. He's like. Yeah, it's a really good reason why Sicilians have darker hair, curly hair, darker skin. He's like, yeah. And that's all I say. He knows. And people who got it, they was like, okay. And at that point, it's like when people don't know that you have some sort of level of intelligence. It's like, okay. Yeah. It's a big, but that's funny, though. Italian hippies, but they're more over the awesome. Well, there was a lot of hippies back then, man. I think the original idea behind it was great. And I was just watching this thing today about the CIA and LSD. And what they did, it was really funny, man. So, um. Is it a dope? Yeah, they're grateful that they did. Animal Day 2. Isn't it dope? Yeah. See if you can find it. Put it up, because it's kind of cool. There's conveniently an M.K. Ultra here and going on right now. Oh. How convenient. I know. Listen, bro. I got it right here, Jamie, I'll send it to you. Um, they 100% are still doing that. No ifans or buts. If you think they did that in the 60s and then 100% did. If they're doing mind control experiments on people and they're influencing people's opinions. Half of the reason why people are at odds with each other all day long on it online is probably government intervention. At one point or some government's intervention. This is not ours, Russia and China. This is wow, that. The CIA created the hippie movement. And your mom's favorite band probably helped them. In the 1950s, the CIA bought up the world supply of LSD. They brought it to the pharmaceutical company Eli Lilly, who reverse engineered it. Giving them an unlimited supply and a complete monopoly. Then the testing started. One early volunteer for these tests was Ken Kesey. Kesey wrote a book inspired book.
by this experience which became a best-seller. Then, Kisey went on to host events, which he called acid tests. And he wasn't charging anyone. He just wanted people to show up and do acid. For these events, he hired an unknown house band called The Grateful Dead. These events became wildly popular and with them rose the popularity of the band. So The Grateful Dead begins touring and Kisey follows them around in a bus from show to show. And everywhere he went, he brought a vat full of Kool-A laced with LSD. This guy had a seemingly endless supply. Exporting the hippie culture all around the US. Meanwhile, the CIA is flooding college campuses with LSD under the guise of research. And The Grateful Dead was just one of many bands in this movement. At the same time in Laurel Canyon came a wave of musicians with something in common. They were all children of high-ranking military officials. The biggest names in music, Jim Morrison of the Doors was the son of an admiral. Frank Zappas' father was a chemical warfare specialist. Even Crosby stills in Nash. Yeah, all three of them. And all of these bands as well. The theory is the CIA orchestrated the hippie movement to steer a very real anti-war movement into something a little easier to combat. Decent without teeth. The hippie slogan was literally, turn on, tune in, and drop out. In other words, do acid and remove yourself from society. And a lot of them did drop out of society to go live in communes in the woods. This intersection between hippie culture and the CIA could all be a great big coincidence. Maybe military brats naturally want to rebel. And maybe the CIA was giving away acid because they're chill like that. Maybe CIA created the hippie movement. Yeah. In that wild? That's crazy. That's wild. They also had a big influence on gangster rap. Big influence on promoting gangster rap. Oh, for sure. 100%. Prove it. 100%. 100%. Yeah. They wanted to fill prisons. But you want to push that over anything else, you know, because we can look at how rap music changed. And then it changed in 1992. Yeah. At the 1992, it was like no more positive rap. Well, it was whenever straight out of Compton came out because I was in Boston at the time. I remember, to the day, it happened. But straight out of Compton wasn't a drug field induced out. It was-- if you look at some of the songs, you look at a lot of the songs that was on that album. It was rebellious songs against the system, you know? Fuck the police. And then 1992, man, when they decided, yo, we don't want no more daylight soul. We don't want more trial car quests. We don't want no-- you get them leather medallions out of your-- [LAUGHS] It's like, yo, we need, we need, like, yo. They was like self-destruction and West Coast All-Stars. They was like, what? They coming together? No, no. You know, we need this to be divisive. We need them to separate. And that's crazy that the biggest time that I've experienced this country being together was the Olympics when the Dream Team came, 9/11, and COVID. That's the biggest time that we-- the three biggest times I've ever seen us together. Yeah, because we need something. We need something that's real. That we need some sort of an event that makes us realize, first of all, the fragility of life that's important. And we have to realize that we're all supposed to be a part of a team. And-- and we-- you can't play on a team if your teammates don't think that you-- that you valuable. Not only that, you can't play on a team if your teammates are poisoning you. If your teammates are allowing you to eat rotten food so that you can't play, and maybe giving you inferior gear on purpose, and maybe keeping you in a place where you can't get sleep so that you're not going to evolve. That's just-- You're always going to be tired. You're going to be fatigued. So you're never going to get better at whatever the fuck it is you're doing. You're never going to advance in life. You're going to be tired. You're going to be on drugs. You're going to be poor. This episode is brought to you by Armra. Every week, there's some new wellness hack that people swear by. And after a while, you start thinking, why do we think we can just outsmart our bodies? That's why Armra colostrum caught my attention. It's something the body already recognizes and has hundreds of these specialized nutrients for gut stuff, immunity, metabolism, et cetera. I first noticed it working around training, especially workout recovery. Most stuff falls off, but I am still taking this. If you want to try, Armra is offering my listers 30% off plus two free gifts. Go to armra.com/rogan. This is how I see-- That's not a good team. This is how I see with parenting. It's hard to parent if your number one goal is survival. It's hard to parent. You got a parent from a comfortable space. You can't parent from nervous chickens really don't lay eggs. It's true. So the thing is, the way I parent now versus how my mom was strictly survived. So my thing is survival first. It was then the rest of it. I don't remember going to on vacation with my parents. Like vacation. What? Your mom working two jobs and going to school, trying to better-- she just taking care of you. So I'm not-- my kids go on vacation. It's different. So I see things from both sides all the time because I'm-- which makes me grateful. I'm grateful that I can do the things I can do with my family. It was then versus parenting from a place of frustration. But I understand this-- this frustration thing. I'm trying to take care of you. And then sometimes I look at my kids, like, you know something, you have it really easy because if I wouldn't have washed them dishes, my mom would have destroyed me. It's saying, it's saying. Because her mom said, hey, I'm trying to take care of you. Y'all got to help in this. You know, with me, you're like, we have a housekeeper. It's that housekeeper coming in four days out the week. And now I'm like, so you just going to throw that stuff on the floor and you're making it hard for the housekeeper. You know, the reason why she's here four days a week is so to make your life easier. But you're adding on to-- By being lazy. By being lazy, like, I don't-- This a balance in that, right? You want to protect your children. But you don't want them to develop soft. You want them to be able to take care of their own problems. And you want them to be able to understand the consequences of their actions. So this is like fine line of like encouragement and punishment and like explaining to them how your life was different. And you have to appreciate this life. This is very unusual. You're super fortunate. But I think, ultimately, what they learn from is how you behave. That's a giant part of being a parent that people I don't think are totally aware of until you start doing it. Whatever the fuck you say is one thing. That's great. What you do is-- What you do is what they really say. And if you're a lazy fucker who's always making excuses, your kids are going to not have respect for you. They're going to know like real early on. You're kind of full of shit. This is the craziest thing, though. You know how hard it is to put some out of punishment and then say, hey, Pac, we going to Cobboh. [LAUGHTER] And my own punishment, we going to Cobboh. You don't get your iPad for 16 hours. Yo, when we get the Cobboh, you stay in your room. And overlook the ocean. [LAUGHTER] And think about your consequences as you order room services. And then you're drinking Coke and Coke, eating french fries. Lamb chops coming to the room. You're like, yo, you own punishment, dude. [CHEERING] So I can't have oysters. You hear the birds chirping. You looking at the waves. And I'm like, it's rough. And being-- it's a certain part of success that you almost can't punish because it's like, I'm not standing at home because you own punishment. Right. See my mom with-- ah, it's just different, you know? It's different. My mom is going her room and turning on Notsman and a Dynasty. And I'm in my room with no TV. Because it was only one TV. It's a TV in every room. And the punishment was, come in here and watch Falking Cress with me. [LAUGHTER] I don't want to watch no Falking Cress. And then you start watching Falking Cress and now you love it. You're like, so when does it come in on again? That's why I like mash. And then I would be in trouble. And you watchin' mash and benanza and all of a sudden, you love mash. I cried with mash when I was like, it's like that. Remember the dude who dressed up like a girl in mash? Jamie Far. He was my neighbor. I was a neighbor? Yeah. Back in California. He lived right next door. Two houses down. Wow. Klinger. He used to be just me and him. and then another guy built a house in between us. It was cool.
- You played a great friendly guy? - Well played a good character. - That was a good show. - Yeah, "Mash" was a very good show. You know, and I said this other days I was a friend of mine. I said, like, I listen. I used to ride and take my kids to school and listen to morning shows. You know, really time join 'em. You know, listen to time join 'em. And this is something I could listen to with my kids. Now there's no morning shows that I can listen to with my children without them putting in a different element that I don't want my kids to be a part of. And you know, that's a weird thing that they curse them on radio and doing all this stuff. - Well, they can't curse on radio still. - Oh, yes, they can. - Can they, they change it? - They had dropped a B word in a minute. - Oh, a B word, but that's it. You can't use, you can't say fuck. - No, but the rest of it, you know, my, you know, you got daughters. - Right, right, right, you're hearing some shit. You don't want them in here. - Like, that's a weird thing. He like, so they go to school and, you know, at the, and they say, you watchin' them. - B, you're like, man, that was the ending of the show. - Right. (laughing) - That's all the things, so now you just, we ride and listen to Kijiko. You know, then with no talk, oh, I listen to NPR, I listen to urban, urban network, you know, within the, listen, now they got all these political questions and, you know, in your five year old, like, so why aren't we voting? - Man. - Oh, it's because you've been listening to Karen Anna. It was the end of the whole time on the way to school or from school. So it's, it's weird how you, what shows would you sit down and watch which are kids now, you know? They had the watch, the shows that I grew up watching, you know, got to go back, you got to watch Perry Mason and family matters and, you know, the God be show, you know, different world. We had to go back and watch good times, you know? Can't watch the current things, you know? So, you know, even with comedy, I took, I took Hassan to a comedy show with me to see some friends and it was 14 at the time. And we left because it was, no, it was nothing, the things that were being said, it kinda made me go back to when, Cosby did the story about his son going to see Eddie Murphy and his dad, he said these things and I was sitting there like, at the first two minutes, I'm like, yo, we got to get out of here. How old was he at the time? 14. 14, that's too young. And I'm like, yo, man. But I mean, the guy who's doing comedy is doing comedy for adults that are drinking in a nightclub, right? No, we had an event where it was all these bodybuilders, the gym, next level had did a show for all the, the people that work out there and the trainers. And I'm thinking, okay, this is at a ballroom, it's probably gonna be pretty cool. And I stopped in, we sat in the back and then it went left. And I was like, hey, man, let's get out of here. And he's seen me. And so he's like, no, this ain't the same. I'm like, yeah, I'm not going for a certain type of laugh. I'm not doing shock value. So he's watched almost all the specials. So it's not the same for him. And he knows a lot of comics. So it's not, this wasn't conducive. I was like, how song we out? (laughing) We out of here, it's like, but just some comments you can go and you can watch the whole show, like Marcus D. Wiley, he can get an understanding of, least marriage, how marriage go to give you some fuel. But I think the landscape of comedy is different for different people, not knocking the people who do shock value or a lot of sexual content that's their stick. And they probably young and at some point they grow, hopefully they grow. And it'll be more things in life to talk about. People are like, well, how do you add as many specials? Because I have a life. I had a life before that I talked about. And then I have a life, a current life that, you know, I'm still experiencing things. So I'm going to talk about things that's a little different because I'm living. And I'm not stuck in sex is not the number one thing. I remember when I figured that I was sex wasn't that big when I went to, you know, they had to think Netflix and chill. And I actually wanted to watch their movie. You know, get your head on my leg. I'm trying to watch this movie. It was so funny. So it's a thing about the development in this game or how you grow and what you think about it. Well, I think comedy is just one of the problems with the label is that there's no genres. It's not like blues comedy, rock and roll comedy, hip-hop comedy, EDM comedy. It's just comedy. You don't know what it is. It's just different people's perspective on things. And there's different kinds of comedy that people like. You know, some people are giant Richard Pryor fans. Some people are Sam Kinnison fans. Some people are Jerry Seinfeld fans. And some people love Bonnie Rate. And some people love, you know, whatever. James Brown, "Fill in the blank." There's a lot of different styles of music. And there's a lot of different styles of comedy. And all that I care is that you enjoy what you're doing. And you're doing it because you enjoy it. And if you're doing that, I don't give a fuck. I don't give a fuck what you're doing. I don't care if you have props. I don't care if you write signs and hold them up for the crowd. I don't give a shit what you're doing. I don't care if you're doing pressions. - That was a huge. So when talking about the scope of comedy, you know, I can start with Carol Bennett. And I watch that, but the guy who I watched on HBO a lot, I knew I wasn't gonna do that type of standup. That was just a whole different thing. But Gallagher was crazy to me. - Crazy. - That was the craziest. - Everybody wore plastic garbage bags around the next one. - What, six rolls? - Yeah, just getting splattered with watermelons and pineapples and coconuts and whatever the fuck he was cabbage. He was ridiculous, ridiculous. But he also had some good jokes. - Yeah. - Some solid jokes in between then. Dude did a ton of specials. - Yeah. - Crazy story, the Gallagher story. Is Gallagher retired and his brother took over. His brother was Gallagher two. So he had a brother that kind of looked like Gallagher two. - I remember that, right? - I remember Gallagher two. - And then, somewhere down the line, Gallagher decided he wants to start doing comedy again. And he's like, "Hey, Gallagher two." The gig is up. - And he's like, "No, no, no, no, no. I'm making money. I'm Gallagher two." - And I think there was some sort of a legal dispute. Find out if that's correct. There was a legal dispute between them. Gallagher's younger brother Ron, who shared a strong likeness to Leo, asked him for permission to perform shows using Gallagher's trademark Selgeomatic Routine. Leo granted his permission on the condition that Ron and his manager clarified in promotional materials. This was Ron Gallagher, not Leo Gallagher, who was performing Ron typically performed in venue smaller than those of which Leo Gallagher performed after several years. Ron began promoting his act as Gallagher two, or Gallagher T-O-O, or T-W-O. In some instances, Ron's act was promoted in a way that left unclear the fact that he was not the original Gallagher. Leo initially responded by requesting only that his brother not use the Selgeomatic Routine. - You can't use the fucking, you can't use the Selge Hammer. Ron nonetheless continued it to or as Gallagher two, using the routine in August 2000, Leo sued his brother for trademark violations and false advertising. The court ultimately sided with Leo and granted an injunction prohibiting Ron from performing any act that impersonated his brother in small clubs and venues. This injunction also prohibited Ron from intentionally bearing likeness to Leo. - What? Imagine you can't look like your brother. - Cut your mustache. - Cut your mustache. - Yeah, you gotta change your mustache. You gotta get rid of the beard. That's crazy. - So did Gallagher continue with his career after he kicked his brother out? Did he come back? - Probably did. - Was that part of it? - I think it was. - Yeah, I think, I don't know. - Nobody mean does it say it there? - Didn't say it here or not. - It doesn't say it. - Not specifically in this paragraph now. - When did Gallagher start performing again? Put that in a search. See what it says. 'Cause I think he did start performing again. - Yeah, he says, he was rushed to the hospital after performance in 2011. - Oh, so. - Okay, and what year did he sue his brother? - 2000. - Oh, so he did start doing comedy again. So that's it. Yeah. So he's like, "Hey, motherfucker." - Yeah, he had a special in 2007 and 2014. - Yeah, you can't be doing that with Gallagher too, running around, siphoning off of your crowd. (laughing) You know, people are like, "Honey, you wanna spend 50 bucks and see Leo?" (laughing) Oh, he wants to spend 20 bucks. See, basically the same shithee wrong. See, Ron.
the mashing fucking cabbage. (laughing) - Give me that, yeah, carrot top. - And imagine saying, yeah, you can perform, but you can't use the sledgehammer. (laughing) - I would use a mallet. What about a mallet? Can I use a mallet? - Can I use a baseball bat? - Can I just have someone pitch me things and I smash them into the crowd? - Yeah. - You can't own that. - That's different, that's a different thing. I'm handing out oranges and tomatoes and the orange. - Yeah, I honestly, I don't give a fuck what you do. As long as you like what you're doing, it's like I love certain kinds of music that's completely opposite to other shit that I love. I mean, I like all kinds of stuff. I don't think you should pigeonhole yourself with anything, but I would not take my kids, especially when they were really young, to see someone who's very sexual or really rowdy or really raunchy, I don't want to say that. - You know, the caveat to this is he was in the green room and they were looking right at him. Like they ended up like, and I'm like, tell me what you, I didn't know that. - Oh, so he didn't say, hey, bro, you got young kids? - Yeah, 'cause I would say, hey man tonight, you know. - Right. - Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. - Seven event, bro. - Oh, I would definitely do that, especially if you were another comic and you brought your kids out of your bro. - Yeah, 'cause one of them are real, you said bring kids kids. - Seven minutes, he is. (laughing) - Like yo, yo, you gotta get him out of here. - They don't need to know about all these techniques. - Yeah, so that's weird, you know. - Yeah, that is weird, but you know what I mean? It's like time in a place, like who was he doing it for? I mean, they probably knew what he did before they hired him. They probably wanted that, someone's a fan, which is fine, but just don't invite kids. - And like I said, I didn't, all I did was, hey, I'm sorry, let's go. And that's it, I didn't, hey, y'all should have been. I'm like, hey, man, do what you do, but I'm getting my kid out of here. Man, and then you get the phone call. Hey, man, why you leave? You don't really wanna know why. (laughing) I'm leaving 'cause you are terrorizing my child's ears. (laughing) And then, so yeah, you know, but I definitely wouldn't take my girls to, like, none of my, none of the kind. - Yeah, you don't need to see that early. - Not, not at all. - My wife got mad at me when I think one of my daughters was six, the other one was eight, how to watch the movie Alien. You ever see that movie Alien, the original movie? - Yeah. - Fucking terrifying. I don't know if it was too young, it was too young. I fucked up. - You know, I think Hassan watched Annabelle when he was young, and it was-- - Oh, Annabelle's creepy. - It was, he was traumatized. He watched it somebody else's house. You know, with some other kids, and they were like, I guess they understood. But Hassan was, it was a whole problem. Like, you talk about sleeping with all the lights on in the house. Like, I want all the lights on, and I'm sleeping in your bed, right? - Do you ever go to that place in Vegas? It's haunted me, Zach Baggins, haunted museum? He has the Annabelle doll there. - Wow. - Yeah. - There it is. Which one is one on the right? - Oh, hell no. - That's the real one? - That's right, can you hear me? - Is the one on the left a movie one? Oh, really? Interesting. - Wow. So, that Annabelle is both on creepy as hell to me, but-- - Well, there's something extra creepy about the one with eyes like a person, the left one. - That's insane. - You believe in ghosts? - Yes. - Really? Have you had experience? - No. - No, no, no, no. I have. Let me go back. Let me sit in there. I do believe in ghosts. So, my old house where my mom stays at now, it's a girl that lives there. You know, I don't know what happened at this house, but it's definitely a girl that lives in this house, but she would only come from like the hallway bathroom to the kitchen. And I remember doing the painting. - Wait a minute, you say a girl, you mean a ghost? - Yeah, that's a girl. - Okay. That's definitely a girl. And I remember being doing the pandemic. I was in the dean and I was working on something. And literally, I just turned to set. So, you up, huh? And, 'cause I can feel her. I was like, yo, 'cause, and I had to go back through my family. A lot of people in my family have experiences with past relatives that passed on. My uncle said he saw his dad, just my grandfather in his shoes. And my mom says she saw my grandfather before, and they lived in, they died in the house that they had in all Mississippi. But yeah, I believe in ghosts. I believe in unsettled spirits. (sighs) But he definitely had a girl that lived in the house. - My grandmother, the one I was telling you about before, she was very interesting. And she, she really strongly believed in ghosts. And there was a guy that stayed with them for a while. They had an upstairs area that they weren't using once the kids left. And so, they rented out, like, it was like an attic space that they had converted. Or so, I forget exactly what it was. Anyway, they rented out a room to this guy where, wherever the circumstances were. And he died. And my grandmother swore that, that dude stayed in the house. - Yeah, I believe it. - I think it's possible that if something happens to you, that, if you're dying, it's a very traumatic experience. And I have a feeling that we don't totally understand memory. And we assume that memory is something that only human beings have. Or that only animals have. Or that only creatures, that living creatures have. I don't think that's real. I have a feeling there may be a type of memory from particularly traumatic experiences that stays in a space. And I think this is one of the reasons why they have to disclose within a certain amount of time if someone's been murdered in the house in a lot of places before you buy it. Because people don't want to live in a house that's got that energy in it. Because I think things keep energy. I think they do. I think there's something more to memory than just as simple as, oh, remember when we were five? I think there's something else there. I think that's our memory. But I think there's a type of memory in things. That's what I think. I believe in the unseen world. So I believe in genes, you know, I believe in angels, and so it's the unseen world that's not, you know, I would think, but it was things. That was things here before us, you know. - I think there's things here with us. - Yeah, definitely with us. - And people who don't think that haven't smoked DMT. (laughing) - But I definitely-- - You get a hold of some DMT and you're like, okay, I don't know shit. There's things around me all the time. There's things that are influencing you all the time. And this is like, when we talk about like good energy and bad energy, one of the things you experience in psychedelic states is a clear recognition of like good things that you've done and bad things you've done. Good way of thinking, the good way you think about things, a positive way and bad. I remember having negative thoughts in an experience once and it was all these like dark fractals. And then I realized it was trying to show me that these dark fractals, these crazy geometries, these like scary patterns that I was seeing was because of my own thoughts. And then I released them and it turned into beautiful geometric patterns over and over. And it kept saying like, look at this and look at this. And I was like, oh, it's actually the way you think changes the world around you. It has an effect. It might not have the ultimate effect. It might not be 100% of what happens to you and in your life, but it has a meaningful effect. We just can't measure it. And there's things that are out there, whatever they are. They have some kind of consciousness that are around us all the time. We just don't have the senses to take them in. Just like when you wave your hand over an earthworm and there's no fucking idea you're doing that. We don't have the senses to understand that there's things around us. And people have been writing about these things for so long to discount them all. They're all liars. They're all delusional. They're all crazy. I think that people discount on delusional thinking that they were on drugs. Well, they probably were. But it doesn't mean they're wrong. It doesn't mean they're wrong. You know, like a drunk. A drunk really don't tell a lot of lies. That's a drunk. Drunk don't tell a lot of lies. They're going, I can't even, I'm drunk. I can't even remember all that. I'm just saying what it is. It was then, but when you, people like LSD, you know, are loosened, you know, or mushrooms or these things, people like, well, you only saw that because you was on this. But maybe that's the portal on how you see certain things. I think there's certain things that we block ourselves from being able to see by our own protective instincts. We protect our thoughts. I mean, this is why people, I think, get paranoid when they smoke weed. One of the things that weed does is it dissolves all these artificial barriers that you put between you and the thoughts of real danger. They're all there. You realize your vulnerability. You realize who you are. - So just think of how years ago, how we was viewed. Our marijuana was viewed. It was taught that marijuana is a gateway drug to crack. Like, I didn't believe that. Like, how did that even correlate? But it's for those who are trying to find
an ultimate high. Maybe you just smoke weed, and that's all you ever did, you know. And you wasn't trying to find another high. I think some people try to find another high like now. Man, a lot of these young people are on so many different things at the same time. Like, what are you searching for? You know, they poppin' pills, doing coke, drinking lean, doing everything, all at the same time. Like, what is, and drinking? Like, what, what, what are you trying to escape, or what are you searching for? You know, and I just know people who just smoke weed and still smoke joints. You know, they don't smoke the, I know people who grow their own, but they're not even trusting what's going on now. Now, now they're finding fit and all, and all is marijuana, you know. And the pesticides, the horrible pesticides, because what people don't know is that a giant percentage of all the drugs or marijuana, rather that people are buying in places where it's illegal, they're growing them in national forests in California, and the cartels doing it. And the cartel uses a bunch of pesticides and herbicides that are illegal, like real toxic shit. And they find them doing it all the time. They find these grow-ops in the forest all the time, because it's a misdemeanor. So, because marijuana is legal in the state of California, growing it is just a misdemeanor. So, you could have a full-scale grow-up in, you know, public land out in the forest. And these guys find them there all the time. A friend of mine found one in a ranch that he works at. He followed these PVC pipes, and he realized that some guy was diverting water into this little area that was on an, uh, Tahon Ranch, which is a big ranch outside of Bakersfield. But, um, this dude that was on my podcast for his name is John Norris. He wrote a book about it. He was a game warden, and he had a, it turned into, uh, a tactical unit. They had to get, like, dogs, like Belgian malmaw and shit with bulletproof vests, and they're going in there, having shootouts with the cartel. Because the cartel, it's set up these marijuana grow-ops in the woods. And it was his job to police that area. It's like, okay, I guess that's what we're doing now. And then they, it's a crazy story, man. It sounds like moonshine. That's why you were going moonshine. Exactly. Exactly. And this thing, moonshine, moonshine and developed into NASCAR. Exactly. Exactly. They had to outrun the cops. Yeah. That's what NASCAR came about from. It's fun. It's, I mean, it looks, it also, it's Al Capone. You know, it's, uh, all the, the mob. They were all running alcohol. And there's a lot of people that were connected to them. You know, some people believe that JFK's dad was involved in alcohol, but that's disputed. But the point is it's like a lot of people were making money selling alcohol. They were all criminals. All of them. And so what are you doing? Are you stopping people from getting marijuana? Nope. What you're doing is you're empowering a criminal empire. And you're giving them an immense amount of money. And they're probably going to have to kill a few people because people get in the way. They're probably going to have to rob a few people because people are competition. There's a little bit of problem over here. We got another guy growing. When we live in, we live in a, uh, society where the bad guy is definitely romanticized. Right. So how do you stop people from wanting to be the bad guy when it's so romanticized in everything? You know, it's romanticized the point where John Wick is a good guy. Yeah. John Wick is a contract killer for the Russian mob. He kills who knows how many fucking people and he's the good guy. But, but you got a problem with the ice man, right? Yeah, an ice man or the terrible person. Right. You know, he did it with poison. John Wick, at least looks sexy in that suit, but you cannot wait for John Wick six to come out. I love those went, well, the John Wick movie though, he like, he had a reason. They killed his dog and they stole his car. They fucked up. They fucked up. They stole the wrong guy's car and they killed the wrong guy's puppy. And so you're rooting for him. You're rooting for him to kill all these bad Russian guys. But you don't realize like there has been a contract killer for the Russian mob for who knows how many dads is he assassinated? How many fucking people that have families that will never come home to them because of John Wick. And yeah, and sometimes a lot of times, you know, people don't care. We don't know this weed. Well, we're weird. We're a weird animal. We're a weird animal in a constant flux of thoughts. And we, you know, trying to figure out what's the right way to think and the wrong way to think. And people join religions for it. They'll join cults for it. They'll join political movements for it. They just want to find a way to think that makes them feel better than the way they think right now. You know, with the need to feel better outside of yourself, you know, or your family, you know, or being, you know, great to society. I think that's detrimental to this society. Well, I just, I personally need to feel better, but I don't want the community around me to feel better. And in my mind, if everybody around you in the community feels better, I think it makes for a more harmonious, you know, environment than me just being the only one. Yeah, but that's because you're a wise person. The problem is there's a lot of people that aren't wise and there's no one wise around them. And that's, that's the real issue is that there's an extreme lack of like a, a good direction book of how to lead a solid life. You're not taught at school. In school, you taught to sit down and learn some shit that you don't give a fuck about learning. Memorize this. Do good on the test. You got to get a job. What's a job? Well, you got to sit there and do some shit. You don't want to do to get some money. And but the rest of your time, you can do whatever you want as long as you keep showing up every morning at the same spot. Okay. And then that's sucks. And so what do you want to do? I want to escape this suck. So what do I need? Cold syrup? Okay, give me some of that. What do I need? Weed? Give me some of that. Adderall? Ooh, Adderall makes me like the job. Okay. I'll take this shit every day. Now I don't give a fuck. Now I'm trying to get ahead. Next thing you know, I'm moving up the corporate ladder. I don't want a fucking animal, bro, because I'm on Adderall. You're basically on meth. You're on a well-designed slow drip and fetamine. And you're out there fucking sleeping four hours a day, getting shit done. You know, driving a jaguar. And this is the problem with society. He said like people don't have a real, there's a lot of people out there that don't really have a purpose. They don't have a real feeling of purpose in their life. You are very fortunate because you've found a thing that you're really good at that you love to do and you make a great living doing it. A lot of people don't have a thing and they never never were never were taught to pursue a thing or they never saw anybody else do it and they realized they could do it too. And then next thing you know, they're married and they have kids and they're in their thirties and then they're in their forties and they feel like shit. I asked you a question. You have a team, correct? Team of people, what? Team of people, sure. Do you think your team is happy doing whatever they do for the team? If I didn't think that, they wouldn't be working. Okay. So you don't want to be the only one happy on the team. No, that's terrible. And you don't want to also have someone on the team that is one of those people that just never happy. That's a problem too. There's people out there who can't fix. So with like I produce other people's specials now and comics that hit me, I mean, I want you to do my specials. I want you to do this for my show. And the hardest thing, because I'm a small company, the hardest thing is when I have to explain to somebody why it's a no, you know, on this particular special. And it's not just my no. It is for other people's no because I tell people and I explain this. If we don't have special with you, you have to get the approval of all five of us because we all five do different things. And I want everybody who's involved in your special to want to do it. Not they have to do it because it's a part of the company. No, I want them to want to do it. And I say, I'm not putting you through a process that I'm not putting myself through. And I've tested this team with me giving them a special that I knew that wasn't special. And I'm the head. I'm like, I sent it out and they were we brought it back to the table. And it was a lot of silence at first. I'm like, so what we think? What we thinking? And they was like, I don't know. I think this is our own. Like, I'm just listening to everybody's, you know, opinion on it. And they was like, I don't understand the direction. I want to say, well, you're going with this. I just, you know, we're going to have to fix a lot of it. I'm like, and I'm just sitting there listening. And we took the vote. And when we turned the vote in, it was five notes. And it was like, so what was your taking on? I say, I knew it was a note from the beginning. I just wanted to make sure that y'all wasn't going to try to fluff me with the, because he's the head. We're going to say yes. And I'm like, good. So anything
we do a project is that I put it on the table just like I put anybody else's project on the table and you got to get all five people if you want me to finance you got to get me then you got to get the market in person that's going to market then you got to get the director you got to get the manager you got to get everybody so they can feel good about pushing your project I don't want anybody pushing a project that they don't like. It's very smart yeah so you make it a democracy smart so if you got all five of us then now we ready right and and and now I'm gonna feel good about somebody coming to me and say this is gonna cost this right because I know they're doing it out of a man this is what's gonna cost we gonna figure it out we and I'm like cool but when even when I do a special man they it is a lot of you don't want to talk about this part like no it's like we should talk about this part and and it's been some decisions that have been made that was it was my call at the end but it was somebody else's idea like with domino effect it would have never been a domino effect two three or four if I were to stuck with the name that I started with the name was 1983 so how would it was gonna be 83 86 and I've rugged which won with three rebel wars rugged was was the original name was I'm not handy and Eric comments like no we were I've listened to it I watched it so many times I think that we should go with this name and he gave it a name and I said on it for a day and I called the bank of name you about right that's good that means you got good people and I think that you people should put like right now I'm on the custom fit tour well I'm I'm off into August because I'm take six weeks of vacation but custom fit is not going to be a special it's just the tour that I'm doing now because the specials that I'm writing are different than what I just wanted to take this time to just do some material I didn't want to have a theme be working on the special right but the theme is about people think custom fit is about clothes it's not about clothes it's about Taylor making the people around you and saying that can you can be a benefit to and can be a benefit to you and saying not just having these people around because you know sometimes people have a bunch of people around that secretly despise them you know and secretly despise their success and that's a that's detrimental to anything haters yeah yeah sometimes haters will get real close to you stay stay next to you it's problem I mean when you're in a position like you're in too when you're producing other people specials you're gonna get a bunch of people to come to you that you don't want to do their shit it's just like owning the club the same issue the way I bypass that I put all the power into Adam Adam he gets decides who's there and who's not there and how the the club gets scheduled and you know who passes and who doesn't and he's really good at it you know he's really good at it he I trust him implicitly so I don't have to think about it and I like it so that when people say I want to work your club I'm like well you get to talk to Adam I just prefer I might be the owner but I just perform there I don't I don't think about it in terms of like how the scheduling is I often have to check the website to see who's there I don't know who's there you know it's so it might be mine but I got a guy who does it and he does it really well and so why would I get involved in that when I it's easier to not when I had when I had a club in Houston I couldn't be funny in the club at all why not because I was actively working the club so I'm on stage and I'm worried about oh I said so many other things right you know going on like you know did you just drop a glass on the ground like I'm I'm I don't have enough help so you got to get the right help yeah I got very fortunate in that a lot of the people that I took to Austin they were from the comedy store and they were at work so the comedy store closed because the fucking stupid government of LA they wouldn't even allow them to do outside shows wouldn't you couldn't do an outside show in the parking lot of the comedy store they wouldn't allow it it's so stupid they were closed for like a good solid year and a half they couldn't support paying all these people so they had to get rid of them and I moved here and at it's the same time it just by chance it happened at the same time and so they were all out of work and I said hey let's get the band back together again let's let's do you guys want to move to Austin so I paid for everybody to come out here and I paid for them I gave them a full salary with everything for like a year and a half or so maybe even more maybe two years before anybody had to go to work because the club wasn't open so I was like I want to give you a job like so you could settle in get used to Austin you're gonna get paid like you get paid like you're working but you don't have to work but I love you I know you and you know come here very admirable with the store I just performed at the store main room for TEE they had a thing before BT was I popped in and the the comedy store has a certain politics to it that you know I like the other one a little more you know all they service prop no the other comedy store oh la hoia the Lord is the shit which is that place is the shit what a club they just don't have food like I don't pop on drinks I don't believe in food and comedy clubs either yeah so but it's just a different environment la hoia is like very nice beautiful place that club is awesome I love performing there and with the store in LA is like you get there and it's very it seems very you know segregated this is now it to me that's when I how long ago is this I just performed um but last week last Wednesday that's um that's sad here because it wasn't like that before it seemed like the main room in the room around the corner and the belly all these rooms are different spaces and that's to me and I made just it may just be that feel because I'm not there a lot you know but when I come when before I came that time but the management walked up was very pleasant what do you mean by different spaces but obviously the different rooms but I mean what do you mean it seemed like the main room is different from the room around the corner well it is different but what do you mean by feels different it feels it feels a little different well I mean just by its design it's a big showroom it's it's brighter the ceilings are taller and then you get into the original room which is just tight and perfect the original room is like that's what you find out what's real you know I've seen a lot of people have rough sets they were real real confident going into that room that room is a truth serum I like a tight room well then then there's the belly room the belly room is the ultimate truth serum the to try out new jokes in the belly room is the place because you know only seats 70 people I can't you can't bullshit those people that's the that's the the crib dollar crib is a tight small belly room because that's what I came from such a good room I came from small audiences they're the best it's the best for finding out if jokes are real there's nothing like a small crowd like in our club we have the little boy the little but we have our our rooms are named after the bombs they dropped on to on Hiroshima Nagasaki and little boys only 110 seats it's a super low ceiling this is when you know it's it's those times and in comedy when you knew that that's what you actually love to do and I remember I was in San Antonio at this place called Santa's he he literally owned the whole strip the club the wash chair the corner store everything the guy named Santa I didn't know that he owned it but it was like a rainstorm or something that you got the show got rained out and it is literally three people in this room it's two ladies in the Santa and I don't I don't know that this is him at the time and we had to go on to get paid the road was like I'm not paying nobody who don't go on we still doing the show I don't like okay so and this is a this is a hundred dollars just getting paid a hundred dollars and he was like who who going up I don't like I'm definitely going up and I'm going up first like I don't I don't care I did like a hour and 30 minutes for three people and I was like because I kept looking like anybody else going over his like no we good I'm like I and Santa I remember he he finally revealed that he was the owner of the club and he was like well let me take you to the bay he took him to the back and he gave me like seven hundred dollars he was saying for performing he's a yeah man you wasn't scared of me and my friends had a good time and it was like three people it was literally to do nae vans on put the show it was like three vans telling anybody so he's like this is when I knew Ali was different when he went out three people he went first and
And he's like an hour and 30. And he was like, and it didn't look like he was coming down. I'm like, yo, bro, I'm here. This is what I do. I don't, and I need that $100. So, that's definitely some extra motivation. It's crazy that no one else wanted to go up. They was like, no. And another time I was at Wiley as a Wiley college. And Marcus was performing and the mic went out. And it's like all these people in this auditorium, same place they shot, Denzel shot the movie, the great debate. So, we in this auditorium and the sound goes out. And they started ribbing Marcus. And I was in the back. I was like, what's going on? And it's like the sound went out. And I walked out, I was like, what's happening? And I said, hold on Marcus, let me ask him some. Wait a minute. I know down where y'all not in here trying to get somebody a problem, because y'all got us in. We didn't bring this sound system. Got us in fair east side high before it's broken clock. And so I say, listen, Marcus, Marcus sit down in the back. And I was like, yo, that's what we going to do. I'm going to talk, y'all going to laugh, then I'm going to talk some more, but y'all can't be laughing all along, because we're going to hear no sound. I'm not supposed to use my real voice in this. I'm in like 45. And then I look back at Marcus and say, hey, man, you want to come back up? Marcus was like, no, like you got it. It's like I'm like an hour and 20, he's like, you know, I need nuts. I'm like, no, this is what I do. And I'm going to figure it out. We did a show at the improv once in Hollywood. And the power went out. And they were going to cancel the show. And we were sitting there talking. And I said, why don't we light the stage somehow? And they said, yeah, we can get an emergency light attached to like a generator. And we could put a, you know, put the, run the wires through the crowd and put an emergency light on the stage. I go, that's that, we'll do that. And then we'll just do stand up with no mic. And we did the whole show with no mic. It was the opening, middle, and then me. I did a full hour. It was amazing. Everybody had a great fucking time. It felt special. It felt very unusual. You got to see what it's like when you don't have a microphone. And you're projecting to the back of the room, change my pacing on things. But it was great. It felt cool. It felt like you were doing something. And the audience was into it. I go, look, we're going to have fun, right? Like, fuck it. Who cares? This is going to be, this is never going to happen again, probably ever. I've never, I've been doing comedy 30 something years. I've never had that happen where I did a show with no microphone, except that one. So this is the thing, these are the experiences that as a comic going through the trenches that some comics have. Because they didn't come up that way. And you have a different set of chops when you come up a certain type of way. I've come up and just joking had to be the craziest place. Because some nights, you're coming in. It's like nine people. But these nine people are into comedy. And the Alice would be like, you got to do the show. Like, it's not a, we don't have a limit. We got to do these people that's here. Because what the thing is, that whole idea that the show must go on regardless, regardless, too. Well, I learned that from Paul Mooney, too. And one of the things that I did a show at the comic stores, like the first time that Mooney ever complimented me, that I was always scared of him. Because like, Mooney didn't like he was terrifying. He was a legend. He was a legend wrote for Richard Pryor. And it was like, the way he carried himself, he didn't like you, like, yeah. And I was 20, you know, I was young and stupid. And I went up, because I would always go up last or late. I had late spots. And there was like 15 people in the room. But I did my act. And I heard in the back of the room, "Oh, oh, oh!" He was laughing, having fun. And then he grabbed me after, as he goes, "You're a real motherfucking comic." He goes, "That's what a real comic does." He goes, "All these other motherfuckers, they went up there, and they did all where you from. Bitch, I know where I'm from. Tell me some fucking jokes. Do your fucking act." And that's what you did. And I was like, wow. Paul Mooney likes me. Whoo. Me and Paul had a different type of relationship. [LAUGHTER] Did you and Paul not get along? One, I always say, I love Paul into I met him. [LAUGHTER] It's like, Paul was on some bullshit when I met Paul. Man, I was at the improv, and I was featuring for him. And the improv had got me to feature for him. And I was like, cool. I'm excited to get to meet one of my idols in this game. One of the people who changed the course of my pacing, because my lineage is just sitting down. I passed through Paul. So when I first started, I was a crazy man. I was all over the place. I thought that you had to have all this energy. And then this guy named Dez White walked into the club one night. I was there. And Dez stood in the same exact place. He never took the mic out the stand, put his drink down the stool. And Dez just stood there. And he was destroying this room. Never took the mic out the stand. And people always say, Dez, why you don't take the mic out the stand? And he was like, because there was a stand. Let it let it hold the mic. So my favorite comics don't take the mic out the stand. Ron White. Ron White just stands there with a drink on a stool. Sometimes with cigar, just killing with the microphone in the stand. Joey Dez keeps the fucking mic in the stand. And he makes me laugh harder than any fucking human being that's ever lived. So I'm going to finish Paul, then I'm going to go to Ron. So what did he do though? So I'm in the green room. And at the old improv, they had a downstairs. You would come through the-- it used to be a rain forest capture. And so it was spelled by in the day first, and then it changed. So I'm sitting in the green room. It's a main part, and it's a smaller part. He walked into the small part and said, hey, go count the room. And I was like, what? Yeah, go count the room. I was like, I don't work here like that. I don't count the room. And he was like, yeah, all right. And he walked out. And then he came back, maybe 25 minutes later, yeah, tell you and your little white friend that is packed out there, and I want my bonus. Like, what white friend? What do you-- what do you-- what do you say about Raymond? Cook is the manager of the club at the time. He's talking about Raymond. And I was like, yo, Paul, I don't count the room. I'm the feature. Why would I be counting the fucking room? And then he said something else negative me. And I was like, yo, Paul, if you say something else to me, I'm going to kick your ass, Paul. [LAUGHTER] Like, what is wrong with you? So I called DL. I'm like, yo, I'm about to fucking beat up Paul Moni. He's like, you can't beat up Paul Moni. He's a legend. [LAUGHTER] Even if you beat him up, you're still not going to win. It's like it's going to be a lot of stuff. So I'm like, yo, so then another time-- oh, and then laid on that same weekend. He had this lady with him, and she was sitting at the top. And I was sitting up there, and she got up, and she left her purse. So I didn't want to leave and leave the lady's purse there. So I grabbed the strap, and I got the purse like this. So I came in, and I'm like, hey, man, you love your person. Paul turned around. What are you doing with her purse? I said she left it. And then the only thing in my head is DL, you cannot beat up Paul Moni. So I just walked out, and I'm like, I'm going to fuck Paul up. What year was this? Like, three years before he died. And this was the old improv. This is what I heard just for clarity. He was struggling in the last years of his life. So you probably didn't get the best version of Paul Moni. So then we hear Nostan. We perform in the theater that's right next to the Paramount. It's another theater that's connected to the Paramount. The black heritage, the black art, something, have booked both of us, not knowing that we are art. So I'm in my green room, and the lady comes in, hey, she's very nice. Hey, I leave Paul Moni's next door. It was then, and he liked to meet him next to him. And I was like, no, I'm cool. And then she goes, Paul, I leave his next door. You know, I don't know if y'all want to meet each other. And Paul was like, no, I'm cool. And I went up, I'm in my green room, and the host is on stage, and Paul was getting ready to go up. And this was his apology. He walked by the room and came back like on Purple Rain. He came back and leaned in the roof, but hi, Ali. And then Paul fucking nuts, man. Yeah, but you got to take that. There's certain people are just eccentric, that's Paul. I mean, I wouldn't have counted the fucking room, either. I would have been like, that's not my job. But Ron White, I was in Orlando. Man is your Orlando, call me, say, hey, Ali. I know you have.
I know you have a feature, but Ron White would like to, you know, feature for you. And I was like, I don't know, no person named Ron White, and she was like, you don't know Ron White? I'm like, wait a minute, like Ron White, Ron White, I think it was like some other guy who's using his name or something like that, his name happens to be Ron White, like Ron White, Ron White, he's like, yeah, I say he want a feature for who, he's like, you, he called an ass. I was like, the fuck? I was like, hell yeah, so I call Marcus, I'm like, yo, Marcus, you're gonna go up, and then you're gonna bring up Ron White. When was this? This was like maybe four years ago. That's crazy. And Ron shows up in this huge tour bus, like I'm, I'm walking to the club and I'm like, who bus is this? And I'm like, oh shit, it's Ron's, but it's got the Keela brand on it, and he's in his, but he's not even in the green room, then he, then I get knock on the door, and his, his manager, he's like, hey, Ron, I'd like to know, can he come in the green room? I was like, he's like, Ron White, you can come in the green room. So it comes in, he's like, yo, man, I just want, I love what you do, I just want to do some time. Ron went up there and was destroying this room, and I couldn't wait to get up, because I wanted to just talk about the fucking Ron White, just feature for me, and I'm, I destroyed his room around. He said I didn't watch, he was like, fucking amazing, and like, and my mind is, I'm still an audit. Ron White wanted to fucking, I was like, that's, it was crazy. That's so cool. Well, he, you know, when he's working on new stuff, that's what he likes to do, he likes to go around and does a lot of sets, he's constantly active. He's up the club tonight, we're working tonight. He's one of the main reasons I moved here. Ron moved here before the pandemic. So I called him up in like 2018, I'd love to have him at the store. So he started coming to the store around 2000, like 14-ish, something like that, and oh my God, we had so much fun for years and years, and he had a beautiful place up in Beverly Hills, and then he just got sick, because he's always traveling. He just got sick of the long flights and the traffic, and I called him up, I go, why'd you move to Texas? He goes, Austin's amazing, the food's fucking great, everyone's nice, it's in the middle of the country. If I want to fly to Florida, it's quick, if I want to fly to, oh my God, damn it, can I live in Texas? And then the shit hit the fan with COVID, and I was like, I gotta get the fuck out of California, this place sucks, they're telling me what to do, this is not what I signed up for, you tell me I can work, you tell me I have to wear a mask, fuck you, I'm getting out of here. And when I came to Austin, it was like one of the main reasons why I was willing to move here. I'm like, if we never do comedy again, at least I can hang out with Ron. That's amazing. Yeah, and then everybody else came. And then once, I mean, everybody says that I got everybody to move here, sort of, I got a lot of people to move here, but Ron got me to move here, that's the most important thing. Ron got me to move here, and then I realized how nice people are here, and how disconnected they are from show business, and I was like, this is so refreshing, everyone's just normal. My neighbor's a normal guy, everyone's normal, they're regular people, just people living their lives, having a good time, you know, it's like, and for me, you know, because I love hunting, everyone hunts out here, it's like a normal pastime, I tell people, I bow hunt in California, like Texas is, Texas, we have been a gem for a long time, and we just let we let other people feel like they, the upper echelon, we like, okay. Texas ruled forever. I mean, you gotta think, Kinnison and Hicks, two of the greatest of all time came out of Houston. And when I was coming here all the time, I knew it, right? So one of the things that was good about doing comedy is a lot of people that moved during the pandemic just wanted to get out of California, but they had no idea what the rest of the world was going to be like. They had never been to Nashville, they had never been to Austin, I had been here a couple of dozen times, I knew I loved it. So I was like, look, this will be all right, like I'll be fine, like it looks like I'm never doing comedy again, I was like, it looks like comedy's done, it looks like they're going to fucking make us just stay indoors, especially in like blue cities, like this is crazy. You have to have a Vax card to eat at a restaurant in New York City, like this is fucking bananas. None of this shit makes any sense. I remember you guys came, mother ship was coming, the next thing I know, Creek in the cave was here. Creek in the cave was here first. Yeah. I'm saying how I heard about it. I'm like, oh, like Creek in the cave, I'm like, damn, okay, Creek in the cave is coming from New York and then mother ship is here and then, but they had drones, you know, the main thing was, what was the role that that was so hard to get in there first, Austin comedy club. Damn, I forget the name of it. Vel Vita room? No, no, it's the actual comedy club. Cap city? Cap city. Yes. Cap city. That place was always packed. Yeah. You know, I almost bought that place. Yeah, I heard that. Yeah. I almost bought that whole mall, but the guy, I was trying to sell it to be one way more than it was worth. And then he got roped up in some FBI investigation. I was told while it was going on and he was being investigated and I was like, oh, okay. And then he wound up getting arrested. But that building was for sale. The whole thing was for sale and I went in there and I thought about how many shows I'd been there, how many shows I'd seen there, how many shows I'd performed there, over there. I'm like, I could own this place. Oh my God. Cap city was the first place that I did on the road with on DL. That was a great club, you know, fucking great club, perfect club. That place was amazing. Such a fun place to work. I think that people don't didn't realize how the rich history of Houston, Dallas, Austin Lafstop. San Antonio. Lafstop in Houston and River Oaks, one of the greatest clubs of all time. Somebody told me that that building still exists like that, that it's still set up like that. There's nothing in it. Is that true? Yeah, nothing in it, though. Yep. Man, we might have to do a mother ship Houston. Yeah. That's, uh, yeah. You see, if there's another city that could support like a large group of talented up-and-comers, Houston's one of them. Yeah, so, you know, we have, um, seeker group there, we have, um, they had the other cap city that was upstairs. Remember, they opened up the second one? They closed that one and they opened up another. They told my lab. No. I'm sorry. Lafstop. Yeah. Lafstop. That was the Laf Spot. Oh, they check. No, no, no, they have that already. That already existed. No, the, the Laf Spot had went upstairs and on wall, they moved. I thought there was a, the Laf Stop. Yeah, they did. I thought it was the same group that, no, it was the same group that owned the Laf Stop in River Oaks. The Laf Spot was another place. I knew that because when I was working at the Laf Stop, Ralphie Mae was working at the Laf Spot. And we, we got together, we're hanging out and eat dinner. But that was, that was, that was the old spot. Then there was the other Laf Stop that they put upstairs. It was a new, but it didn't last. It was only for a couple of years. Yeah, I didn't go to it. I didn't go today. It was a good spot. Yeah. Then it went under. Yes. Yeah. Irish, if you did it with a Hitler mustache once, he, uh, trimmed his mustache to look like a dog Hitler. Irish, Irish, Irish is by far the craziest person that I know. Like I thought my uncle Mac was the craziest person and then I bet, then I bet Ari, I'm like, this is the craziest person that I know. Yeah, he's awesome. Yeah. And he just moved to England. I might brother gonna stab you. He moved to England. They will fucking stab you. They stab people there. Don't, don't get stabbed. Ari is nuts, but he's such a cool dude, but he's fucking nuts. I, I said, I want to go see him, um, at the Creek in the cave when he, um, was getting ready to film his special and I, I like, yo, Ari is so, Ari is so crazy. If you just, if people took time, just, just go through the, the many looks of Ari should feel in there. Yeah. The one that killed me was the half. Yeah. He was just balled on one side, I'm like, yo, he's doing two face like he's insane. He did two face for Batman. Yeah, he's out of his mind, but, but that's really who he is, you know, he ain't, he's not trying. Yeah, he's not trying. He's not trying. That's what he is. He's out of his mind. He's fucking maniac. He's fucking maniac. When he tore up Bert, what I heard about him tearing up Bert's check, it was like 25,000, he's like, yo, I just made to him about that, and he just tore the check up, and they read you another one. I'm like, like, are you insane? Like, he is, he is the greatest person, but he's fun. I've had some great conversations on the phone with him and he's just, and I was very fucking smart, dude. I was very smarter when he called me to do the, um, his last, the endless, you know, I was like, that's cool to think, 'cause that, that's where I, that's a pivoting point, a major point in my career when I did, um, this is not happening. Yeah. Yeah. That was a great show, man. It was a great idea. I remember when he started doing it, he started doing it at the lab at the improv, so you remember the lab? Yeah. Another little room. Cool. Cool little room. Um, they should have never got rid of that room. They, they changed that place and they fucked it up, in my opinion. the room.
The main room's still awesome, but the lab used to be in the back. And it was like, there wasn't a big bar there. I think it's still there. It's different now. Yeah. Deon cold. I would last time on the Deon cold. Yeah, but it's different. It's different. It's not, it's not the same setup. It used to be, you went through a door and it was like another small room. And in that small room, it was separated from the front door. They moved the front door and now everybody went in through the parking lot, right? And so they went into the lab through the parking lot. So the front door was back there that now. And when you would open it, it was all this noise from the street and they had a curtain to block off the noise and you'd hear people, they were like right next to your stage where they were buying tickets. It was annoying. And then there was the bar, which is right there. It's still a cool little small room once everybody settles in. But the original setup was way better. And Ari started doing it there and I was like, what are you doing? And he's like, I'm going to do a storyteller show. And I was like, what the fuck is that? That's what I thought. I was like, why are you doing that? And then he said, well, it really helps you without having to have punch lines and setups and have everything really tight. You could find the beats in a store and they're like, oh, well actually that's brilliant. That's pretty fucking smart. It's a good alternative sort of way to develop bits. You develop bits by working it out, but into a more loose format of telling a story. And I didn't even know that that was the premise behind it because when I got it, it was like you'd go on, he'd tell a true story. And I was like, okay, cool, that's my, that's my thing. Right. And I had just won Comedy Central's comic to watch in like 2013. So you get a package, you get an hour, you get a half hour and you get the chance to go on one of the shows that's already on Comedy Central. So they was pitching me at the Adam Divine show and I was like, I don't like it. And it was another show. I was like, no, I'm cool. So every show that they would say that they wanted me to go, I was like, no, that's really my thing. So then Chase DeRusso, young comic, call me and say, hey, listen, you might wanna go on, this is not happening. I was like, what's that? He said, it's a show start on the internet, you know, you, I went on it, I watched both, I think both seasons of it on the internet and I was like, yo, this is the one. So I call Anne Harris that kind of say, it's the show that I wanna do. And I already know me, I always like, I don't know him. But Eric Abrams is one of the co-creators of the show, he's like, I know him. So he's pretty good, you should bring him on. And I already tell him, he's like, I didn't know what he was gonna do. But I know it was a true, all you had to do was tell a true story. And I was like, perfect, Eric thought that I was gonna do the story that I did on the second time that I was on. And I was like, when I got there, I was listening to people's stories and I was like, no, I'm gonna do a lighter story, 'cause the second story is Mitchell. It's like when I was gonna kill this CEO and I was like, no, I should do a lighter one. And then I did the prison ride, which is affectionately known as mixing up on boobs. And I was like, the best fucking story I ever heard, and like, me telling the story about a ride, a prison ride, I was telling what happened. And I only did like 16 minutes of what happened, that was a whole, that was a whole ordeal. It wasn't a 16 minute ride, it was like nine hours. The whole thing is like nine hours, I only told the beginning part of it, which was pretty cool. You know what happened? I already lost the show, right? Yeah. Yeah. And so that, so when the show came back, it was Roy Woods, they called me to do it. And the loyal spirit in me, I called Ari first. I was like, hey, they want me to do this show, I'm really not fucking with it. And he's like, no, no, do it. I was like what, he's like, I heard about all the stuff, he's like, man, do it. Eric, Eric is still shooting it, he was saying, so you should do it, because we wanted you to be the host, but they didn't want you to do it. You know, they got Roy, which is cool. I don't think they wanted anybody affiliated with Ari to do it. Yeah. So we're punishing Ari. So when they ask you-- We should tell people why. So for people that don't know, they already got a deal, he got an offer to do Netflix special. And he wanted to do it. And they wanted him to do the special on Comedy Central. And he said, well, I don't have to. It's not in my contract. They said, well, if you don't do it, we're going to cancel your show. And he was like, wow, I can't believe you would do that. And then he went to do Ari. Nope. Nope. So we were trying to figure it out. I offered the host it for free. I said, I will come in and host it. I'd already done it. So I'll come in and host it for no money. I go, because he wanted to make sure that everybody was paid. He was going to take out a loan. And Ari was going to pay all the grips, all the camera people. Because these people, they chart out their year. They're like, oh, I'm doing this. This is not happening for the next six weeks. And then I'm doing this for five weeks. And that's their year. And that's how they budget their life. And Ari decided that he was going to take out a loan to pay everybody. And I'm like, wow, all right, go listen, man. It go, tell Comedy Central that I'll host it for free. They weren't interested. And anybody affiliated with him. And he offered up a bunch of other comics. So I was in that group of the bunch, because I know it was you. It was Joey, me, Bert, and they just got me to do it. Once Ari told me he was cool, he's like, man, do it. Yeah, Ari would never try to stop anybody from working. So what I went on and did in my protest of, you know, you didn't want Ari. So what I did was told a story about Ari. I just told her, like, okay, cool, but it's like, my story is Mushroom Story, which is an Ari. And I thought I was, you know, second season I did this show. Ari gave me mushrooms and I went through the whole thing of what happened when Ari gave me the mushroom. I ate the mushroom. I didn't know if they were mushrooms, mushrooms. I thought it was something else. And it was like an eighth of mushrooms. And it was a long day. It was like a real thing to not tell you to not eat all of them. And I remember Janice, Janice was my assistant. And I remember I had to fly the next day, and I'm still, I'm still going. I'm out of my shit. So I get to the airport and I call Janice. I said, Janice, people are going through this machine and then I'm not seeing them anymore. And it's like he's not, he's going, like, and Janice said they probably go in the various places. And I was like, but I don't want to go to various. I want to go to Houston. So then when I get up to the TSA and I said, hey, I'm seeing a lot of people go through the machine and then I'm not seeing them anymore. Where are they going? The man said, man, various places. And I got out the line. I called Janice and I said, you all right, they are going to various. He's nuts. Like, he's losing it. I'm like, yo, I was so toasted and just getting on the plane with my still full of mushrooms. I just, I wanted to just close my eyes, but the shit just wasn't working. It's like, I was out of it, I never, as much as the crazy thing, it's a crazy thing. And that same week, because I was there for a couple of days, Joy Diaz gave me a black star. And I remember calling somebody and he was like, yo, don't you eat that shit. You think, if you want to lose it, don't you, there's an episode of I'm going to Joy Diaz. This is back when I was smoking. I took an edible with the, on the flying Jew. And me and him, it's like you literally see us. I was fine at first. And then you, Joy's the only person that's in the studio that's still together. And you just slowly see us just melting, we both, and then I know I was speaking very good English at one point. Then I was, and he was like, yeah, it's always, it's always, it's always, it's like, I understand. Like, I don't understand the church of what's happening now has some of the greatest overdose on weed moments ever in the history of the internet. Just Lee, just seeing Lee sciat just melting, he can't keep his eyes open, he's just melting his chair. You know, it's like, at first, I was like, yo, he's tripping, then I was like, this is not happening to be like, it was crazy. And Joey Diaz doesn't give a fuck and then does I want to see the devil. The other side of the story is another comic would be named Billy Surreyos. He had taken some edibles, but he ain't on the show. So he's outside. He didn't just melt it out, like, he just sitting on the ground outside the studio like, yo, those black stars are 500 milligrams. Yo.
- Oh, that was it. - Yeah. - Joyce, how do you eat two of those ones? (laughs) You just chucked down two of them. I'm like, that is so crazy. That's so much. You know, Jamie doesn't feel it? Edibles don't work on him, right? Jamie's got some weird fucking biological condition. (laughs) Throw that at me, I'll try it. - Yeah. - I'm not afraid. - He doesn't give a fuck. - He's not scared of edibles at all. - I've done two different types of mushrooms. I didn't know that there were. It's like the ones where I was really on one. That's the one that's our gave me. And then there's some other ones that made me very talkative. Right? - Look at me. (laughs) - Drew on his shirt. - Well, he's in a dimension right now. He can't keep the headphones on. He's going to do, oh. Joey's the best. They're back. They're doing it again. - They're back together again. - Oh man. - They're doing it out of New Jersey. Is that what they're doing? - Well, it has to be. - Yeah. He's the best. - I remember I called Moses Malone for, Joey, because he's the big Moses Malone fan. Before Moses died, I called him. He's like, you know Moses Malone. No fucking way you know Moses Malone. Yeah, no fucking Moses. The Moses was nuts too. Like, (laughs) Moses Malone was like a nut. - Have you heard about these new mushrooms that make you see the little tiny people? - I don't know. No, I haven't. The talkative ones were. Like I called a lot of people on my phone and everybody's saying report was, you know, you call me like three and a more and some of you want to talk to me about my life. (laughs) And-- - Which ones are those? What did you take? - It's not so what's happened? It's something different? - Yeah, it's something different. Yeah, it made me very talkative. Delay, I told Delay about-- - I don't know, but that one's been. - Comedy name Delay, I told him about it. Cause he, I called him and I talked to him for like hours. Just about. So then he ended up taking the same mushrooms. He called me and I knew what it was like. Go ahead, let's talk. (laughs) He was talking his ass off. I had put the phone out and with the sleep, I woke up, he was still talking. I'm like, yo, this shit is crazy. - What is it? - Man, I gotta-- - Jamie, put that in the proplexity. - I gotta call. - Put that into our AI sponsor and find out what mushrooms make you talkative. - Yeah, I know who gave him to me. So I call her and ask, hey, what was the insurance that you gave me? Cause she went and bought on it and like, I was a fucking talkative mess. - I don't know what that is. I've never heard of that before. Most of the time when people take shrooms, they can't talk. And he was like, oh, no, I was, I was on one. - That's crazy, I don't know what that is. - Cause the ones that Ari gave me. - It's just, it's measured mushrooms just in general. - Huh. - Some people's response to it. - Yeah, but it seems that there's different responses to different ones. - I know I'm saying on the screen, says Elijah said. - Huh, I don't need this enough research for proplexity to have a educated answer. (laughs) All right, how much research are they doing out there? Talkative social on magic mushrooms, but there's no specific mushroom reliably proven to make you talkative. All right, ask if there's a mushroom that makes you see little people. - Yeah, that's different. - I know. I know, but I want to see what proplexity has to say about it. What does proplexity say? Ask it about, is there a mushroom that makes you see little people? Let's see if it really is up on its psychedelic science. (laughs) - And just repeat the articles I just pointed out. - I want to see what it says though. That's just a question to see how it handles this. - Yes, a specific edible mushroom called landmoa. Asciatica has been reported to cause very vivid hallucinations. You say hallucinations. Maybe they're really little people right there. Of little people, when it's undercooked, a phenomena known as little-apucian hallucinations. - So the thing is, how do you know it's a hallucination? - Maybe you're just now can see these things that people have been writing about for eons. How ignorant are people? And how arrogant are we that we know everything that's going on all around us all the time? - We don't. - People have always thought gremlins are real and gnomes were real. And fairies. - Studying that since the '60s. - Of course they have been. I'm studying it right now. (laughs) - Let's study. - Let's go study mushrooms. - Man. - Yeah, they've been studying it, but the real problem is there's gotta be a bunch of, I know for sure there's other strains that are much more potent because I know a guy who is a mushroom guy. He's like deep in the world of mushrooms. And he was explaining to me that there's one that's like 10x stronger and there's new ones that they've found. I think they found a new one. I wanna say in China, they found a new hallucinogenic mushroom. But this one, this little-apucian one is weird 'cause it's not psilocybin. - So it's cooked. This has something to do with cooking it. - Yeah, yeah, yeah. - The one shouldn't be able to see it tomorrow. - No, I think this might be the Chinese one. - 'Cause I think it's a, is it? Yeah, okay. So this is, I've conflated to China. So they eat it, if you cook it and you do a real good job cooking it, you don't trip. But apparently some people have not cooked it and eaten it and go, "Oh, wait a minute, what are we cooking out of this?" When you're, you might be cooking out whatever the mushroom is giving you to let you see the spirit world or see the fairy world or the gnome world or whatever it is. - With restaurant, you can get in restaurants. - Let's go. I'd be like, "Hey, hey, hey, hey." I undercook my, (laughing) - Just put it on some salad dressing. - Send that shit out, let's go. - I don't have a, unfortunately, I don't have a problem with mushrooms. I think that, and I just like being-- - Unfortunately, what do you mean? - 'Cause you know, some people would like, you shouldn't be on it, I'm like, but I don't have a problem with mushrooms, and especially if I'm in a safe environment, but being at the lows on mushrooms, (laughing) that's not the best place to be. - Also trying to fight it, if you fight it, you're fucked. If you start going and you start, "No, I don't like this." Like, "Uh-oh, it's gonna get dark on you." - It's gonna, like, I've tried to wrestle with it. - I've had them in chocolate, like a little chocolate squares, and it's been, it's been a time. I don't, it's been a time. - Sometimes you can get rough. - To see little people, I definitely wanna be somewhere I don't, I just need to be somewhere safe. - Brian Simpson has a lyric story about, he someone gave him a mushroom chocolate bar, and he put it in his freezer, and forgot. Forgot that it was a mushroom bar, and they just ate the whole thing, and just went to Pluto. (laughing) He's like Dr. Manhattan sitting on Mars, a fucking lotus position. - This one's kinda strange. It says, "Does it matter who you are or what you do, "you're gonna have the same experience "as everybody else has done it." - Okay, at that point in time, when do we start to say maybe there's something in this substance, this compound, this molecule that lets you interact with something that's real. That's around you. If it's repeatable, over and over and over again, all these people see the same thing, over and over and over again, and people have been writing about it since the beginning of time. They've been writing about elves and fairies and gnomes and magic people in the woods. - What do you think they were doing? He's probably eating these fucking mushrooms. - So this is a show that I watch that I still don't know what this show is about, but I watch, I'm on season number four, and I have no idea what it is called for 'em. - Ah, I've been watching it. I love that show. I'm in the middle of season four right now. - And so you know he's taking mushroom. - The one guy did, yeah. - Will you spoiler alert? - No, but you know, but you know already. - Big spoiler. - No, but the people that listen, don't know. - Hey, the people. - It's still gonna be fantastic. - Don't fuck this up. It's good. - No, they're moving it out. - They move it in. - They move it in. - What are the new shows that's been talked about to get moved? - No, no, no, that's still on Paramount. - Yeah. - I think it's MGM. I think it's an MGM. - MGM. - Yeah. - Great fucking show. - Yeah. - Very original. - I still, people. - People who is officially on Netflix. - There it is. - I don't understand. - Oh, damn. Oh, wait a minute, hold on. Maybe it's on Netflix as well. - Yeah, that's it. - Yeah. - That's all I was saying. - Oh, that's what it is. - It came on epic. - Oh, that's an epic. - But you watched all these good shows, but you have no idea what. - There's no rules. - It's the, and so I call my director and say, hey, I wanna make a show that is about whatever we're doing. And he's like, we'll give me an example. And I say, watch from. Like, I've watched all of us, I cannot tell you what this show is about. (laughing) It's like, like, I just know that this shit is good. - For people that don't know, they wanna watch it. These people are trapped in this town. They all have the same circumstance. There's a down tree in the road. They can't go further, so they turn around, and they find themselves in a loop that keeps leading them through the town. - To the same town. - Over and over and over and over again. And no one in the town can escape, and at night time, monsters come out, and they look like people. They look like a mailman. - Yeah. - They look very normal. - That's scary ass milkman. - Oh, like that milkman is insane. - That old lady, the old lady that knocks in the window. - Oh, terrifying. - Terrifying show. - It's, it gives me anxiety, and I know it's all fake. - It's, it's like, it's a crazy show. - Yeah.
The season four is even more bizarre. - Yeah. - Like, everything that I be thinking, I was like, yo, I think this is what it is. And then it doesn't, it doesn't be that but then it'll come and it'll be like, see? And I, but I'm like, see what? Like, what am I, like, I don't know the, this show is going. (laughing) - No one knows where it's going. But it's like lost. The same people that made lost, made that show. - Word? - Yeah, that's why it has that same sort of feel. - Like, crazy doesn't mean you can't predict what's going to happen, but nothing makes sense. - Yeah, very entertaining. - Lloyd tickles the shit I've been, Lloyd is mad about it. We got that. (laughing) But it's so, it's a crazy, it's crazy, but it's very interesting. Like, I don't miss it. - I love it. Yeah, I've been binging it. So I started, I guess me and my wife started about, a month ago or so, and we burned through the first three seasons. And now we're into the fourth. - Right. - Yeah, it's good. And I think the next season's coming out in 2027. But I don't only, I think the next season's the last season, unless they decide to keep it going. - Well, finale. - It's the finale. - They just announced that it's going to be the last season. - And maybe when that money comes rolling in. - But the thing about this kind of show is, you could do whatever you want. - Yeah. - Or you could go back in time, you could do wild shit. Like, I don't want to give anything away, but there's no rules. - You can make anything happen. - You can make anything. - It's a very strange show. But it's very entertaining. - It's all, man, it's a very entertaining show. - Yeah, but if you want to just sit at home and watch it and not do anything, man, you'd never picked a better time to be alive. (laughing) - You could waste your whole life just staring at a screen. - It like when I ask people, 'cause my palette for what I'm taking is different than a lot of people would do. And I turned people onto a show like, when I turned my boy on the pinky blinders, I was like, "Yo." - Pinky blinders is a great show. - I was like, "Yo, you got to watch Pinky blind." He called me and was like, "Yo, this is a great show." And I remember my boy Delay got so invested and it was the first show, the motorcycle show that I turned him on to. - I know what you're talking about. I never watched it. What is that show? That motorcycle show that everybody liked? You know what I'm talking about, Jamie? That's it. - Suns, man, okay. I turned them on to Suns and Anarchy. And it's a person on that that you kind of get invested in. And I remember he called me and said something about him. And I was like, "Yo, who?" Like, "What?" What'd you say? And I'm putting on my shoes and then I noticed, are you talking about the person on Suns and Anarchy? He said, "Yeah, that's fucked up what they did." (laughing) I was like, "Yo, you're a crazy man." He's like, "No, I'm so invested." And I was like, "Yo, man, you are a wild person." But, you know, Suns and Anarchy, Pinky Blindness, like, I was big on Yellowstone. And now the two spin-offs of Yellowstone, Marshalls and the Dutton Ranch, I can't not watch it. Like, it's some good shows out there. And I just can't watch the typical stuff. I gotta watch something that has a little more to it than what normal people would watch. 'Cause I like to see normal people in shows. Like, something I can relate to. The Dutton Ranch, you know, being Texas. This is, I don't how ranching is. This is how I always experienced how ranching goes with cows and how you keep your land and how these different fights that people have over land. I'm like, shit, it's pretty interesting. - It's very interesting. - Yeah, Taylor Sheridan's a friend of mine. Got me that. He was on here the other day, talking about it. But the other show that I love is Landman, same kind of deal. It's all about the oil industry. You just realize, like, oh, Jesus, is this how all this works? - Yeah, it's all the things happening in life and is way more notorious people than a drug dealing show. This is, man, crude oil is a business. - So it's such a big business, of course, you're gonna get devious shit going on. - You're gonna get shit happening. - Hustle, yeah. - The real world of oil must be nuts. It must be nuts. I mean, that's why we're in war right now. - And you have to be ruthless, you know, with oil. Like, that's a big thing. And I don't understand fake meat. Why would people be given somebody fake meat? - Well, 'cause they make money selling fake meat. - That's why. - That's why. - I mean, that's what a lot of people are trying to push while they're saying that cows are bad. Cows the methane to the environment, man. It's bullshit. But all they're doing is trying to, someone is pushing this idea that we need to stop eating meat because they're profiting off of us not eating meat. That's what it is. It's all it is. It's not bad for you. It's good for you. You need it. Protein. Super healthy. One of the best foods in the world for you. There's just a bunch of horseshit out there saying that we need to eat less meat for the environment. Now, we need to figure out how to not pollute. That's for sure. But regenerative farms aren't polluting. You're full shit. It's not true. You know, if you want to say we need to stop doing factory farming, okay, maybe. Yeah, that's probably a good thing to do. But you need to figure out how to feed all these fucking people. You've developed a system that's entirely reliant on massive amounts of animals moving through. The amount of chickens that people eat in America every day is crazy. Yeah. What do the amount of chickens that get consumed in America every day? Let's guess. 20 million. At least. At least. I wanna say 50 million. 50 million chickens a day. How many million chickens a day get killed? Well, that's a different question. Oh, okay. How many do we eat? How many millions of chickens do we eat every day in America? Because I know I can account for three in my house. 22 million chickens every day, son. That's nuts. That is a crazy amount. That's way bigger than the entire residence of Los Angeles. If every person was a chicken, every we eat that amount in this country every day. That's crazy. Get in my home alone and we roast and chicken and we gonna get a roast chicken. We gonna get three of them. Cause it's going to. I didn't even know that I could eat a whole chicken by myself until I did it. It's like, yo, man, it's this muslim grocery store. They sell them in there. It's already roasted and you get two garlic sauces with each chicken. And once you dip a piece of that chicken in that garlic sauce, it's not gonna survive. Like, it's like I bought three of them. Cause I know if two are going to make it home, I have to eat this one by myself and it put on a piece of pita bread. It's already roasted and it's insane that I would eat a whole chicken by myself. As some of it suggests, 24 to 26 million chickens are killed every day in the United States for me. So if you don't want factory farming, you've got to figure out a solution where you can get 26 million chickens a day or you convince people they need to stop eating meat. But if we look at, like, say, if I'm looking at a show, Game of Thrones or House of Dragons, when I would see them sit down to eat, it was a lot of meat on that table. Variations of meat. It's a whole, I've never seen the King sit down. It wasn't a whole entire pig on the table. And then if you, most people have been bought a lamb and you think that a lamb is enough. It depends on what you on who's there. If you, if we, if it's it and it's after the fast and you put a lamb on a skew and all these Muslim families come to your house, that's, that's not enough. You need another lamb. You need two lamb's, like a whole lamb's. Like, it, man, it's meat is delicious. It's great for you, too. Don't let anybody tell you any different. Oh, I'm, and they, they can, but I'm not really listening. Like when somebody tell, when somebody tell me about a vegan situation, I, I'll listen to you. But none of it is going, it's like, you know, I say something comes in one end, go out the other. It's not even going into here. It's like, it's like, I've already made my decision. I'm saying, okay, I'll be, but I'm not really listening to you. I'm eating the lamb. Go. Or I mean it. Life eats life. It's just the factory farming thing is the uncomfortable part. That's the gross part. And if you just were on a ranch, it's natural. It's natural. You want to get overtaken. Just let the animals just do the thing. Chocolate. And see how, see, see, don't you see a, I am legend taught you that. It's like, yo, how many antlers ran through a, a, a playlist, stampede? Like, it's a, so even like with, with the thing that happens in ocean sardines, right? So mass, all these mass sardines come one spot, then the whales come first, then the sharks come, and then, then we still get sardines. After all these, this ecosystem is eating, we still get sardines. You're not running out of natural, for if you let everything do, do this thing. You know, you, you know how many?
jellyfish it is somebody should start eating them because that is a crazy jellyfish can mob out like mob out and they can kill you and they can kill you yeah somebody eat them something eats them you can eat them at Chinese restaurants I've had jellyfish before was it good I don't remember it being good I don't remember where I ate it but I remember someone cooked a specific type of jellyfish and I was like okay so I didn't even know you could cook that in Texas in Louisiana and Texas in Louisiana the amount of crawfish that we eat in two months it's literally insane imagine they didn't imagine me crawfish would be you could imagine I know I can account for at least 50 pounds by myself like I know how many crawfish there would be if people weren't eating them like when I was kid I grew up in Florida for a while we lived in Florida in Gainesville and there was algae there but they were protected back then the algae is protected like the avoglades well it wasn't the avoglades quite here okay hold on edible jellyfish best known edible species in use in Asian cuisine oh boy try to say that word ropelemaescalentum often referred to as the Japanese edible jellyfish that's a lot easier we're flame jellyfish yeah so there's a few different species of jellyfish anyway my point was when I was a kid alligators were protected and they were at this lake and you can see them if people throw marshmallows in the water the alligators would eat them and then now there's too many like there's so many alligators there now like they can't get rid of them they're they're in everybody of water everywhere you go there's alligators yeah the entire avoglades filled with alligators golf courses filled with alligators I remember when they when they don't they can't get eaten oh Disney World yeah and I was like yo that's insanity because I don't trust a puddle of water in Florida no I've a puddle it could be a puddle I'm like it's the alligator that is like the know what they what they remove 400 some odd alligators from this in the world oh they remove them all the time they have to check every day man it's like to go back there and make sure that there's no alligator it's like a huge number that they it's a huge number it's like maybe 20 40 this year 20 40 or something this year but it's 400 and something a while like that's insane you know Disney World has a bass fishing lake you can go bass fishing at Disney World there's like a little trip that you take you go there 414 alligators removed from Disney World since toddler's death 10 years ago that's a lot of monsters it's a lot of monsters man they're legit monsters I remember when I was in Guam I was in Guam doing a show and I think the military moved there and it was a bird that they was trying to protect and so they killed all these snakes and this is how when you change the ecosystem to something something happens so the snakes not only were they eating that bird but they were eating and controlling the total population so when they got rid of the snake we were coming back from the show and it's like it's literally hundreds of thousands of frogs that come out that night they everywhere it's like you they you just see on flat in the street where you because you can't not you can't miss them there it was hundreds of thousands of frogs on Guam and I was like yo man people fuck up everything they got to do something man people metal yeah they got to bring the snake back yeah kind of bring the snake stop stop stop your bullshit people just metal I mean there's so many countries that are infested with animals that people brought in to kill other animals you know like Australia is a giant feral cat problem they brought in feral cats I think to kill it I forget what species I think it was a toad they were trying to kill off my neighborhood as it got down cat problems like my neighborhood is like one cat has some babies and my family has something to do with it we fed we fed the cat the names of course you want to be nice meanwhile they're killing billions of birds every year in this country cats so I love cats I love cats too with it they kill billions house cats kill billions of birds and mammals in this country every year if you you don't have a bug problem if you have a cat in your house because if we you know we had these water bugs they call them cockroaches but I've watched it before I left the cat that just outside he was just slapping one around it's like five of them dead out there he's just slapping one around like just toying with him like but I don't mind because then they never make it into my house it's like cats are about the Fort Pass campaign that happened in China what does that what they do explains it to you in this these little Fort under mile aimed at exterminating rats flies mosquitoes and sparrows as a part of the great leap forward it was framed as a public hygiene and agricultural protection drive meant to reduce disease and protect grain from being eaten or contaminated mass mobilization methods included trapping and poisoning rats swatting flies mosquitoes and organized efforts to scare and kill sparrows so it's like that it's before you get to the end here they had one little problem so they introduced something else to fix that problem that created a new problem so they introduced something else to fix that problem yeah I ended here with tens of millions of people dying from a famine because they didn't have the natural ecosystem to this is correct so sparrows were targeted because they ate grain seeds but they also consumed large numbers of crop eating insects their near extinction caused an ecological imbalance leading to insect population booms lower crop yields and contributing to Chinese famine the great Chinese famine which tens of millions died wow you got to give something to kids something yeah man you don't think you're smarter than nature you dumb fuck yeah you got to give something to kids because there's a balance out there and we don't totally understand that balance what's this fish that that we have now Asian carp the one it's infested all the different lakes and then the snake head that's another one then the joint that torpedoes up so that's the Asian carp they fly through the air when you're in a boat yeah they just for whatever reason when you're in a boat they just try to throw themselves onto the boat like give me the fuck out of this lake there's so many of them and they don't have a natural predator and then they bring them into places sometimes to clean up the algae and then also you know now like now you have a carp problem now the carp eat all the algae they eat everything where there's like your whole lake looks like a swimming pool there's no algae left look at these fucking things that is crazy that's the Illinois River I mean this is just hundreds of fish just flying through the air everywhere they go how nuts is that you ever see people they shoot them with bows and arrows so they wait from the hop up in the end they try to catch them in the air with a bow and arrow with the string on it yeah there's a bunch of people do that that's a very popular sport is this fish edible I don't know I've never heard of anybody I know people eat regular carp I don't know if Asian is Asian carp edible yeah there you go it's lean in nutritious as a clean mild flavor yeah so I would just have a net rolling behind me and filet fish there you go don't you guys need product there you go get out there with bows and arrows and get it done how many crawfish does Texas and Louisiana consume in crawfish that's a good question I guess you'd have to do it in pounds right would you do it in pounds or millions of actual crawfish because they they they don't measure them in individuals they wait may them by weight right because they're kind of they go by weight how many pounds of crawfish do you think Texas just say Texas and Louisiana in a year 50 million whoo I have to ask again but it did give me uh 90 percent of the farm crawfish comes from Louisiana yeah 90 percent how many pounds how many pounds just I know I went way too high how many pounds does Texas and Louisiana consume in a year I'm gonna say two million pounds really two million pounds a lot it's fucking lay more than what is it what is 70 percent of the consumed amount is eaten in Louisiana and the total is upwards of 150 million pounds yeah 120 to 150 million annually whoa yeah just in Louisiana 70 percent which is almost a hundred million pounds of that is just in Louisiana that's great between crawfish boils and and crawfish active fake that is fucking delicious ain't that's delicious ain't that is a crazy thing this doesn't have a number just just tens of millions but all we need now we've got the Louisiana that's how we thought there'd be to double with the whole country eight that's crazy like Maryland actually thinks that they are big on crap and we just be shaking our head like okay hey it's no I think we ship crap to them like right we the Chesapeake Bay cannot outdo the Gulf of Mexico no we Gulf of America now by the way it is we we still we still we still I don't think Mexico agreed
- No, he's like, I don't think they did either. - It's like, no, you know, it's not the gun. - It's the guff of America, we're not seeing it. - That's hilarious. (laughing) - Well hey brother, it's great talk to you again. As always, it's always fun. - Man, very good to do. - Thank you. - Do it more often. - Man, I'm here. - Okay, let's do it, it's always fun. - Yeah, it's fun. - Tell everybody where they want, if they want to consume more your specials, all of it's on YouTube, is it? - All of it's on YouTube, but you can go to hollycidique.com. The new special out my father is getting busy right now. It is, it's a great, this is a great special. It really is. - What did you record this? - That was in Detroit. - Beautiful, like I said, I love what you do. I love the fact that you're so prolific and you know, that you've built this whole thing, just, just on hard work. So, congratulations. - Appreciate you, thank you very much. - What's good to see you. (upbeat music) - Imagine setting your makeup, then forgetting. It's even theirs. Meet new groupie setting mist from Maybelline, New York. Gel to mist technology locks in your look for up to 24 hours, with flexible all day comfy grip. No tightness, no stickiness, no residue. Just clump to a hydrated skin that still feels like your skin. Try new groupie setting mist from Maybelline, New York. - Maybe it's Maybelline.
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