Joe Rogan shares a candid, often humorous narrative about physical recovery, pain management, and the unpredictable realities of everyday life. After a knee surgery and subsequent reoperation, he recounts using edibles and topical creams like Voltron to manage discomfort, despite skepticism about their efficacy. He delves into the history and risks of human growth hormone, linking past steroid use to serious health consequences, as seen in the case of athlete Alzada, whose steroid abuse contributed to a fatal brain tumor. The conversation also explores mental wellness, highlighting how substances like CBD, creatine, and ketone supplements improve focus and memory. Rogan emphasizes the importance of consistent, precise dosing, criticizing the inconsistency in supplement products. He contrasts the chaotic nature of real-world experiences—drugs, traffic, and street encounters—with the structured expectations of health and performance. The episode also touches on the expansion of the cannabis market, including increased taxation, competition, and the rise of dispensaries, underscoring how societal and economic shifts are transforming how people access pain relief and wellness products. Throughout, Rogan blends personal anecdotes with broader cultural observations, illustrating how lifestyle, health, and urban environments intersect in surprising and often chaotic ways.
[MUSIC] [MUSIC] I can't believe you could walk so quickly after getting the knee fixed again. >> It was like three days, man. >> That's nuts. >> But yes, I fucked it up at Nork Airport. Because I wanted to walk, you know, but it was like I walk every day at the gym and then I walk my neighborhood for breakfast and after dinner. But that's a loop, you know? This was 10 loops yesterday. So thank God I had a baggy with edibles with me on the plane. I hate the edibles and I put, I asked the fucking flight attendant to give me some ice and that's how I got it down and you rub it with that wartime shit, that liquid cocaine juice. >> What? >> Yeah, there's a cream that became illegal, you buy it over the counter. >> What is that? >> It's for something worth, don't quote me, man. >> This is it. >> But it's a good cream, it numbs your eye, you have to rub it though twice a day. >> Oh, yeah? >> Yeah, but it's a fucking feels fantastic. >> I've never heard of it. >> Yeah, Voltron, Voltrax. >> Voltron? >> What? >> Don't listen to me, don't just Google what's that? >> That it, Voltrax. >> See, I'm Voltrax, arthritis pain and you just rub it on your knee? >> Yeah, a couple of times a day, anything that hurts. >> What is it? >> It's like a fucking jow with cocaine that they can have the fucking situation for you. >> Prescripts in strength over the counter, non-steerodal anti-inflammatory that penetrates the skin to relieve joint pain, inflammation and stiffness, interesting, I've never heard of it before. Why do we use for osteoarthritis and muscle aches, should not be used for acute injuries like simple strains or bruises? >> Wonder why? >> I can't use it for strains or bruises, does it say why? That seems weird, because like that's what people use, like ibuprofitinship. >> Yeah. >> Wonder why you can't use it? >> Like I couldn't use any of that shit, I could only use cocaine, I don't know, whatever the fuck that is, I couldn't take ibuprofitin after the surgery. >> No? >> Have you ever used DMSO? >> I don't know what that is, Joe. >> What's the shit right here? >> You rubbing on? >> Yeah, that's another horse tranquilizer. A horse medication, yeah, they use it in veterinary applications, but it's really good for pain, for pain and injury with tic-tac, keep it. >> Okay. >> No, I have a bunch of them, I buy shit in bulk. >> Yeah, we're talking about lala as they know. >> Yeah. >> That was the early steroids, which were the 70s, you don't know what the fuck we were getting in the 70s, everything came from Germany, I think? >> I think they were getting. >> Dr. Garoblin, all that shit. >> I think they were getting human growth hormone from cadavers. See if that's true. Jamie put that into our AI sponsor perplexity. Did they used to get human growth hormone from cadavers? I think they did. I think that's how they used to get it. >> What do you get for human growth hormone from now? >> That's a good question. I don't know. I don't know how they do it. It's synthetic. I know it's synthetic. So it must be they isolate the molecule, they figure out how to reproduce it, and then they make it somehow, I have no idea. But the way they used to do it back then, cadaver derived human growth hormone was real used mid-1900s to 1985 and turned out to be dangerous because it sometimes transmitted pre-on diseases like Croxfeld, Jacob, Jacob, and is no longer used and has been fully replaced by synthetic recombinant HDH. So Croxfeld, Jacob, disease, that's Mad Cow disease. It's the same kind of disease and what it comes from is it's the same thing that cannibals get when people eat human brain tissue, they get neurons and that kind of shit, you get this same disease. Alzada was one of the first US sports figures to admit using anabolic steroids in the last year of his life as he battled against the brain tumor, which eventually caused his death. Alzada asserted that his steroid use is steroid abuse directly led to his fatal illness. He recounted his steroid abuse in an article Sports Illustrated. Our target started taking anabolic steroids in 69 and never stopped. Now I'm sick and I'm scared. I was addicting mentally and mentally addicting 90% of athletes I know were on the stuff. We're not born to be 300 pounds or jump 30 feet. I became very violent on the field, off it too. I did things, only crazy people do. Once in 1979 in Denver, a guy's side swiped my car, I chased him up and down the hills through the neighborhoods, I did that a lot, I chased a guy, pulled out of his car, beat the hell out of him. But look at me now. I wobble when I walk and sometimes I have to hold on to somebody. You have to give me time to answer questions because I have trouble remembering things. He died at 43. 43. For what a brain cancer. Wow. He didn't look good at the end. He was a bandana. Alzada was Jewish. That's how he was inducted into the Jewish Hall of Fame. What did it say? What was that? What I was just reading? International Jewish. Jewish sports hall of fame. I don't even know that existed. Okay. So I don't know if that was that stuff, that growth hormone did that. But. Well listen, he's saying he can't walk at the end, he can't remember. That's the knock it to the head and mixed with whatever was going on. Yeah. I mean, there's a lot. It comes something else, you know. I lied, it midst a massive, that's one of those lies that like everybody, you know, it's like when bodybuilders say they're natural, like shut the fuck up, bitch. Nobody's that big. Nobody's that big without help. There's a bunch of goofy guys out there that still try to claim natural, like come on son. How many fucking stakes do you eat a day? Like the barbarian brothers, 36 eggs. There's some guys that have free genetics, they have very unusual genetics and they get real big, naturally. But that's rare. That's super, super rare. As a matter of fact, I got picked up by a new BS thing, guess who was the driver? Your little maro's nephew. No way. And he's a judo champion. No way. We talked to Spanish for about 15, 20 minutes. Well, he's in Jersey or here. Right here. He lives in, cause all these Uber drivers are Cuban. Really? All of them in Austin. I'll get him replaced by robots. Fuck that. The Cuban. I saw Cuban yellow the robot. Couple last time I was here, he got out of the car. I don't let the car, he realized for you, the robot, he got back in the car. My bad. That's hilarious. I cut him off. I cut him off all the time. It's fucking way more. No, I stay away from the robot. They get right in front of you. They're ridiculous. I don't trust those cars and all. And I don't see how people sit. I don't. It's not for me, brother. Did you hear about that lady? She got into one and the homestay was in the back? No. Yeah, some guy used the waymo. He got his luggage out, left the hatch open, probably figured the thing closed itself. It didn't. The guy hopped in, shut the door. Lady gets the waymo. There's a homestay in the back. He starts yelling out of for paying robots. Why you paying robots? Imagine setting your makeup, then forgetting it's even theirs. Meet new grippy setting mist from Mabelie, New York. Gel to mist technology locks in your look for up to 24 hours, with flexible, all-day-gum v-grip. No tightness. No stickiness. No residue. Just plump, dewy, hydrated skin that still feels like your skin. Try new, grippy setting mist from Mabelie, New York. Maybe it's Mabelie. I'm going to tell you about my homeless situation this week, Joe. Oh, no. So my daughter played at Egg Harbor this weekend. It's like 25 minutes outside of Atlantic City, which is an hour and a half from my house. So we went down for Saturday's tournament. They won. Now we got two more games on Sunday, so we got a hotel. I didn't want to get a hotel at Oceans. I'm going to be at Oceans in August, but I didn't want to go there because all the other parents were in fucking Harris. So I said, "Fuck it. I don't want to be that guy. I'll stay at Harris with you." So the game ended, and my wife had a drive, the kid somewhere, and I go, "You know what? It's a perk." Because every weekend, when I go on those little trips, I go to a wheelchair. Like last week, I went into one in Trenton. Dog. This was a block from the state capital. You could see the dome. The black guy called me back and he was, "No, no, no, no, I got a secret place. Get it back." He had mushrooms, mushroom chalk. Don't say this. You're going to get in trouble. There's 18 stores in fucking, you know, you got to figure it out. I'm not ratting nobody. I don't know what's going on in the cops. They got a back. I mean, that package mushroom is all different from playing this green white old thing. This week, I go to Atlantic City. I go to this one everywhere, whatever. It's supposed to be the big one. The big one. The big weed store in Atlantic City. And it's right by the casino, so as I pull up, I park my car in front. As I walk out, there's four yoke brothers, yoke with gold chains on it. One of those fucking suburban millionaire cars, what do you call the big truck escalates? No, the other one. The one that looks like they're attacking your town. Not the. Oh, AMG, G-Warrings. I don't fucking know. Anyway, they're in there bumping shit and they see me and they go, "Yo, we know you." And I go, "Yeah, what about brother, hold on. I'll catch you on the way out." I thought by the time I got out, they would leave. Right. So I went in. And they're all outside their cars. All four brothers. Yoke, big gold chains, like, "Yo, you're the motherfucker that goes on, Rogan. Nah, that's the motherfucker from the longest yard. We looked you up." So they're talking to me, talking to me, talking to me, "We're rocking 'em, Rogan, the UFC." "Yo, what do you think about that?" And I'm loving it. But in the middle of all this, this black little homeless crackhead walks his way over and I can hear him and ask the other guy, "Who's this white motherfucker?" the black guy goes, that's the dude from the longest shot, you know the fuck.
Bar movie the black guy comes over and I see him walk around on me goes, "Hey Mr. Football Man, why don't you break out a doubt for me?" He just bummed me out of dollar, I had to give him 10. I was so fucking embarrassed before he broke out of dollar for me. Why don't you break out a doubt for me, Mr. Football star? I gave him a 10, this motherfucker ran, he walked up with a limp but he ran away. Like he was going to write for crack, I'm like, "These motherfuckers, they got a game for everything." I love it, I love all that shit job. It's fun to be around wacky people every now and then. People live it on the edge. But that Atlantic city outside those casinos, bro, that shit's real. That's real. I saw a drug transaction right on the street when we were down there last. I'm surprised you didn't see a hooker get mugged or something like that. They are not fucking around. I took a ride Saturday night about 10, just get a little ride. Bro, you make it right and some of those corners you ain't coming back. No. And I thought by now that at least build up the outside of A.C. No, no, no, no, no, no, it's barely making money. A.C. doesn't do well. Not like Vegas does, you know what I mean? Like A.C.'s got some nice spots. You can go there and have a good time but it's not like it's going to grow. You got to go inside, it's too sketchy. The outside is too sketchy. The Bogada, all the Italians go down with their white shoes on the weekend. It's got old, what up? You know? But no, I don't like the Bogada much. I like the couple hotels down there. There's some nice places. Yeah, we stayed in the Bogada when the first open, you and I. You had a gig there. That's right, you had a gig there. The thing is it's not going to grow like Vegas is, you know? Vegas is crazy. See, when Vegas had a head start, the thing is, like if they tried to make Vegas now, woo, tough sell, tough sell. Too many places to go. You can gamble everywhere. You can gamble on your phone now. But when Vegas was first, there was no Casinos in the country dog. It was just Vegas. And I wonder if they made some sort of a deal. Well, let them blow off atomic bombs. They blew off these atomic bombs and then we'll, you know, we'll put the Casinos in. That's a different one. I thought that. But then we looked it up and it turned out they made Vegas before the atomic bomb. So I'm like, well, what, I guess it was just gangsters. They just bribe people or convinced people. There was nothing going on there. It was a pit stop. They opened up Vegas for a pit stop for American soldiers to stop on the way. Almost something like that. Well, was it in the 30s, right? Was it the 30s, Jamie? Didn't the guy that owned the Congress store when Vegas was created? Yeah, he was in charge of Vegas. And he robbed and they shot the same guy as the comedy store. Same guy as comedy store. So he was in charge. He's fucking genius, that fucking, that motherfucker was a genius. Well, he got shot because he stole at the end the expenses. Oh, is that what it was? The Casinos, you know, he gave, in those days, they borrowed money from the unions in Chicago. And then you borrowed that and you worked off those, uh, Teamster loans. Those Jimmy half a loans. Lee. So you had a build on those? Well, the expenses never stopped. Right. And they were like, what the fuck is going on? And he was hanging out with Jane Seymour or something, going back and forth, like a millionaire, like a movie star and a leg and they shot him. That's why they shot him? I think so. They shot him in his house and his eyeball. Yeah, and his eyeball. Something like that. I remember that. So yeah, there's a picture of his dead body allegedly. In LA, right? Yeah, in LA. Yeah, so that was all because of the Casinos, huh? But then they made it, you know, it's like when we first went to Denver, the money was too good. Right. I don't give a fuck if it's Jesus and the three disciples, they're going to take that envelope. It's too good. Well, you know what it was going on in the beginning. They weren't allowed to use credit cards. Everything had to be cash. Big cash, yeah. And it was crazy. So these guys were leaving the fucking, and they bring like, six special forces guys with them. They didn't have fucking green berets and navy seals and shit, like arm to the tits because they're transferring millions of dollars in cash. So the whole thing was nuts, man. It was nuts. I read this story about the dilemma. Like these people are making all this money. And the crazy thing is the state was making all that money too. Because the taxes on the legal weed look this up, please. It's amazing. I think it was like 39%. It's fucking crazy. And everybody was like sure. Like you would never accept 39% on alcohol. Never accept 39% on beef. But 39% on weed, you're like, I'll take it. During the pandemic, I'm going to let you buy an extra tax to go open. That's why they called them, what do they call those businesses that had to be open? Dispensaries? No, no, no. They're businesses that they had a purpose to be open during the pandemic. Oh, right. Essential. Essentials. Yeah. They made that essential, but they charge an extra tax, 10% tax, really open. They make so much money off weed in California. But now look at all the weed stores just starting to close. Are they? And in Jersey, they created a dilemma because the state convinced them that they had a build and all these just all these places started. You know, you're opening up a shop minus three mill. Listen, it's a lot of $20 bags to get the three mill. A lot. And not only that, there's a lot of competition. Oh, and how many weed stores are in LA? It's bananas. Well, in English time, New Jersey, there's four of them and here's what gets better. They're all on the same block. Wow. Did you ever go to that place in Inglewood with me? Back when it was only medical, the Inglewood. Well, you should get the lollipops. Yes. Yeah, I went there one time with you. You know, the guy that ran that got shot. That dude that we used to deal with, he got shot in that store. They killed him? No, I think he lived. I'm not sure, though. Looked that up. He might have died. Yeah, that's the first place you had the lollipops on, on fear factor. Yes. It was from that guy. Yeah, yeah. Inglewood Wellness Center. That was in the 90s. That was in the days where it was legal if you had a medical reason. And any medical reason would do. Oh, my feet hurt to get in there. Sorry to mom. But anybody who does martial arts has the pain, excuse. Because everybody's in pain. And it does help you with pain. If you could take aspirin, THC, like gummies with CBD, are phenomenal for aches and pains, man. You remember Dave Foley? Yeah. Dave Foley's hand, of course you do. Dave Foley's hand was all fucked up from arthritis. He started taking CBD and now his hand is full functionally. Actually, CBD is amazing. CBD is a, they just blew it up out of content a couple of years ago. Well, who knows who's making it and what the quality is? Who's making it in the body, right? But no, it is. That's the things when, when things are gray, you get a bunch of douchebags making stuff. You know, I used to have a bit about that about the gummy bears. Like, they're not making these gummy bears in the same labs or they're making Tylenol. They're very inconsistent. You get one of them and you swear it's a thousand milligrams and the other one feels like it's like a hundred. They barely make sense back in the day. Back in, you know, when it was the Wild West. No, I got some 500 milligrams in my pocket. They feel like 500 milligrams, whether you're taking it. Well, now I don't think you can do that anymore. I'm talking about like way back in the day, it was different because way back in the day, there was like, it was the Wild West. First of all, way back in the day they didn't put warnings on this shit. No, no, not many milligrams were in this stuff. And I remember eating a brownie one time and flying with the Pittsburgh and the Red Eye and my leg wouldn't stop tapping. Like it wouldn't stop fucking tapping. I remember one time we were on a plane and you had a panic attack and then you waited like an hour later and then popped two more. I was like, how are you doing that? You're like Joe Rogan, I almost got off the plane. I couldn't take it. I couldn't breathe. My fucking heart was closing. It was like my chest was closing in on me. The walls were closing in. I thought the plane was gonna crash. I was freaking out, I almost had to turn the fucking plate around. But I'm back baby. You have popped two more. You have no idea what I put myself through over the years. You do that. Because I just want to take a chance. Columbus did. I'm sitting at home. It's two in the afternoon. You're bored of shit. You're like, let's see what happens. And the only thing that would hold me back is if I had to spot that night. Oh yeah. Then I would tame it and be like a couple hundred milligrams. But you don't want to go up on stage with too much edible. Yes you do. Sometimes you do. Sometimes you need to. It's important. Sometimes. This episode is brought to you by Blue Choo. I'm sure you've heard of Blue Choo by now. But let me tell you what they've been up to. They've been on a mission to get you bricked up for years. And now the number one brand for Better Sex. Over five million happy men have bought Blue Choo for Better Sex. And you know what? Girls love the results too. Their new four and one chewable Blue Choo Gold is for performance and passion. Two ingredients maximize blood flow for stronger, longer lasting boners. And two get you in the mood. It's designed to dissolve under your tongue for fast results. They are number one for a reason. And we have a special deal for our listeners right now. Buy two months of Blue Choo Gold and get the third free with my code. Rogan you also receive free overnight shipping. Visit bluechoo.com for more details and important safety information. This ad and the products being advertised are intended for a United States audience. Sometimes it's important to go off into the woods, right? Yeah, sometimes you just stay on the trail. Yeah, but listen Pat, you still have a special stay on the trail. Last week I went to do a spot. I figured let me wait five weeks. I haven't been on stage since April 18th. Let me go do a spot. I'm nervous. I get down there and it's 50 people perfect. Break my cherry, do it. I got into such a groove. I ended up doing an hour. That was because the edible light took before I went on stage. No material, I told you that. I got nothing. Right. I said I'm starting over from scratch. Got nothing. I talked about going to the hospital. And then it just became something else. And at the end I was up there an hour. Wow. My leg was starting to fucking throw up. Did you film it a recorder? No, I just, I didn't know it was going to be gold. Right, right. But that's why THC, somebody said THC is like a band substance for comics because it made it real.
let it absorb you. I'm not telling you to smoke pot, but I have an audition. Whenever I have an audition, I read it, I put it away. I just get stoned and then I go back and I look at it again, complete different sheet. Now I can pick out things. Now I can clean. Then I leave it again. I get high and I come back like an hour later and that's what I think THC makes me just realize. Look, I live in anxiety naturally. Naturally. I beat myself up. This morning, I say 30. I'm drinking coffee, outside the fourth season. I'm like, why my heart beat? Because I don't have somewhere to go. I can't know where to go. You just gave yourself anxiety for no reason. Yeah, because I always say, I got somewhere to fucking go at 10 in the morning. That's why when my daughter gets on that bus to school at 715, I start blasting. Because then I know I ain't got nowhere to go. You make a list every day and you go, this is what I'm going to do today. Then you fucking wake up and you look at that list after you smoke and you're like, that's a long drive up to New York City today. I ain't doing that podcast. That's a fucking long drive up into that motherfucker. Yeah, the driving in New York is not a joke. That's an endeavor. Yeah, no, you got to take a day. That's your day. Your day is driving in and driving out. You're not going to the gym. You're not doing all those stuff. No, I'm saying if you've got a driving to New Jersey, that's your day. It's not like, oh, I'll go there. That's at noon. I'll hit the gym at 2.30. Uh-uh. No, you won't. You'll be in traffic for three hours. Three hours. I always go to for that shit early and get it over with. Like, on days that have to go to the city or up north, I'll just take that as a day off. Like, I worked that day before so I could go up there comfortably and not sweat it. Yeah. But it's got some days I got up and I'm like, I'm going up there. I got to work out today. Listen, this is one of the big things that Texas has, or Austin has in particular over the East Coast is the fucking traffic. The traffic here's a joke. They talk about traffic. It's adorable. You might be 10 extra minutes. What do you do? It's adorable. But occasionally a car accident happens and there's a bunch of people stopped. That shit happens everywhere in the world. But for the most part, the East Coast is so thick with people. You don't realize it until you have to make that trip to New Jersey and back and forth. You know, when we do the UFC's, if we go into New Jersey, to the UFC, with the weigh-ins, then we have to go back to New York to play pool. At six o'clock, that's cool. Oh my god. It's crazy. Go to New York to eat and to play pool and it's fucking, it's a madhouse. Think about it when it was like the last two weeks. Jim Florentine said he went into the city side. It was three hours because of the nick bullshit. They weren't even playing. People were so upset that Trump was going to go to the NBA because if he's there, then they have all these crazy security protocols and makes the traffic even worse. There was no parties. There was no nothing. That's just stick to the UFC. They're going to boo him everywhere. Oh, they booed him to that. I didn't watch the whole game. I heard some people cheered. I heard it was like cheers and booze. But the problem is if there's cheers and any booze, if there's like 50/50, that's don't go to that spot. People say you got booed at the UFC. I've seen him at the UFC six times or something like that. I don't know how many times. Never get booed. They got booed. He's never gotten booed. They fucking cheer. The people that say they're booing him, you're distorting reality. It's not true. They cheer him like he walks in there to the American badass song, especially if Kid Rock is with him and Dana White's behind him. And then sometimes Tucker Carlson was there too, back when they were close. It was like the conservative Avengers. It was like this is ridiculous. He was the kiss of death last night by the guest of the next last night. Me and Jamie, we were like, fuck that, getting two and a half. Why they only giving two and a half? They're up two scams. What do you read time two and a half? They were giving last night. Everybody in their mother, even fucking your daughter, bet the next last night, giving two and a half. Do you bet sports all the time? How often do you bet? This type of a year. I bet basketball because it's real. Do you use a do you use an app? Like what do you do? Draft Kings. Draft Kings. You don't have a bookie. No, no. I enjoy it because Draft Kings has so many fun. Like there's bookies out there. They just keep busts in these mafia rings in Jersey and New York. 39 people that had the big bust last year with the basketball coaches that they put the cards up and you could see through the fucking cards on the table. It's gambling has grown to a fucking nightmare. We're going to pay for this in five years. But when I went to college after orientation, you walked out and there was credit card companies. Discover master card visa and they give you a credit card for being a student for 250 automatic right there. And now when you go to those orientation days, Draft Kings is that. You know, the other one's friends who was there. I'm not putting them down. I love Draft Kings. But you're copying these kids. These kids don't have enough problems with fucking student loans. Right. Now I'm going to put a fucking thing more people are gambling more than ever. Than ever. Than ever. It's Australia too. My buddy, you know, James the can. Yeah. I was talking about how crazy it is in Australia. Yeah, it's a it's a what is those what's the odds on the Ilya Toporia Justin Gachi fight at the White House to pick them. Is no. No. No. Toporia has to be a huge favorite. I guarantee Toporia is two to one. Four to one. Yeah. Oh my god. Four to one's crazy. Two to one. If you just think about what he's done in his last three fights, he's had the most legendary run in MMA championship history in his last three fights. He knocked out three all time greats. Knocks out Alexander Volcanovsky, knocks out Max Holloway, knocks out Charles Oliver, three in a row. Like anybody who could do that, you go, well, I'm not fucking betting anything against that guy. But Justin Gachi is a tough character, son. So if I bet 25 bucks on Gasia, I win 100. Four to one. Yeah. Four to one. Yeah. Which is a look, it's minus 426 for Toporia. They're like four to one's not enough. Caesar says 600. Caesar says 600. Caesar's is smart. But the thing is, man, don't think that Justin Gachi can't win. Like anybody can lose and in MMA fight. People get hit. Like in Ilya, it's a poor, one of his early fights, one of his, I think his first fight in the UFC at lightweight. He took it on short notice. And he fought this dude, um, Jay Herbert, who's a really tall, really good striker. And Jay Herbert caught him with a head kick in the first round, a switch kick to the dome that dropped him. It was perfect. But he recovered brilliant. He got a hold of him, took him to the ground, recovered, and then came back and devastating knockout in the second round. Like he fucking puts people into orbit, man. His power is crazy. He's not a big guy, either, man. Justin's a much bigger guy than him. But the way he knocks guys out, it's just dead. He knocks them out dead. But so does Gachi. People are forgetting Gachi's a fucking war hammer, dude. That guy loves battles. He loves. Hey, this is not, I don't think it's a tough fight. There's a tough fucking fight. I can both this guy. And this is the Sunday, right? Correct. It's this Sunday. Gachi's bigger going. So fuck yeah, I'm going. So Gachi's bigger. Gachi used to fight, um, at, um, what was it called? The IFL? Was that whatever the organization was before the, he came to the UFC. I think it was, it was before the PFL was like another one. But what was it? What did he? What was the organization? You know, there's these feeder organizations like the PFL, a lot of really good fighters and one up becoming champions started. Was that it? Worlds years of fighting. That's right. That's what it was. And I mean, he was fucking people up with leg kicks, but it was the way he was fighting. We just throw himself into chaos. Like he, he didn't fight tactically at all back then. No. No. Like the, you ever see the Michael Johnson fight with him in the UFC? A long time. Yeah. His first fight in the UFC. It's one of the craziest fucking fights ever because he just fucking throws himself at Michael Johnson. A Michael Johnson throws himself right back. And it was a, they got hurt. Both guys got cracked. It was a crazy fight. But eventually Justin got him. But it was the way he fought. You like good Lord. Yeah, he fights. Like a pit bull. Like a pit bull. Like no concern for his safety. Just dive in. It was a fucking crazy fight. And look how Justin is always just trying to kill you. He's always move. Look at that. Every shot he's trying to fucking kill you. He's always moving forward trying to smash you. And the thing is he relishes this kind of combat so much that in the beginning, he lost some fights that he could have won if he tempered it. And then he did. So, and then when he went on this like legendary run started beating everybody. It's really because he controlled the violence a little bit more. He controlled the chaos. But it was still like very technical violence. It wasn't like he was brawling dumb. He was just forcing himself into chaos so much. He was throwing himself running to the fire over and over and over again. This is a dangerous fucking god. He's a dangerous fucking guy for anybody. I mean, he hit Cabeeb. He hurt him with some calf kicks. He could do that too. He lead kicks you from inside the clinch. One of the things that he does really [BLANK_AUDIO]
from like, he could get you with like a collar tie and he's lead kicking you. Like, he gives him the finger and tells him to get up. I mean, Michael Johnson's getting battered. This is a top fight for him. At this point, we're in round two, and look at that knee to the body. Just everything's trying to kill you. It's not like this tactical take a chance here, take a chance there. Now, everything's take a chance. It's like from the very beginning of the fight. And this is how he fight, he eventually took him out. But it was a crazy fight. He fights like I told Jaggle used to fight. They weren't thinking about brain damage. Right. Haglund, all those dudes, we're not thinking about that. We were talking about that with football before. You know what I just watched the other day? Mustafa Hamshell. Haglund versus Mustafa Hamshell. Did they battle? Oh, Haglund took him out. But it was just, Haglund is prime. He was beautiful, that pro. He was so fucking so good. He was so good, and he was so good at switching stances, man. But no one was doing that back then. Haglund would fight. South Paul, he would fight orthodox, he would fuck you up. He didn't know where it was coming from. And he could fight just as good South Paul as he could orthodox. It was amazing. It was an amazing fight to watch. Look, God, that guy was great. So disciplined. Yes, some good fights this week, I'm excited for the card. I thought it was sadly. Yeah, Jamie posted up that the serial gun, Alex Pereira, fights the closest fight on the card in terms of odds. It's like even odds. And that's a serial gun's a tall order. That's a tall order for your first heavyweight fight in the UFC. Caesar says that as a pick 'em. A pick 'em. Yeah, I would say it's a pick 'em. I would say it's a pick 'em. Serial gun is really good. And the thing about Serial gun is the problems that he's had in fights or when guys take him down. When guys stand with him, he is very tricky. He's very slick. He's very technical. And he's very light on his feet for a big eye. Like he moves really well. Like one of the best movers in the heavyweight division for sure. He's like, he's dancing on his feet. He also does a weird thing off his front leg. He throws a front kick when he's standing sideways. Like an ablated stance like this. And he picks it up and twists it into your stomach. Bang like that. It's weird. Like, I've woked. Oh, no, it's a kick. I mean, it's called a twisting kick. Twisting kick. You don't ever see people throwing that kick from the front leg like he does. Like he does a lot of weird shit that you have to get used to. Like that Tom Aspenal fight, man. He was scoring very well on the field. I know it got stopped because of the eye pokes. But before the eye pokes, Serial gun was doing very well on the feet against Aspenal. And Aspenal's a big, fast heavyweight. It's going to be interesting. Because I don't know if Pereira is going to have an issue with the movement. You know, if he's going to be able to shut that movement down. And I don't know if Serial Gone is going to be able to like, if he's going to want to exchange with him, he might feel that power and say, I'm just going to fight on the outside. Because Pereira's got that. You make one mistake power. He looks good at heavyweight. He looks like he gained the weight. He was yoked. He's huge. And on top of that, no dieting. So no depleting of his body at all. You're going to have a guy competing for the first time where he's never had to cut weight. That's huge. That's a giant advantage. Not having to cut weight is like, they let you take steroids. You don't have to cut weight. No cutting weight at all. If they change weight cutting. If they cut all weight cutting out of MMA, you'd have like 20% better performances. People would be fighting so much better. Because they would feel so much healthier. They would be so much more durable. There wouldn't be as many like one shot knockouts where you're like, whoa, that got him. Because a lot of these guys, like their brain is still dehydrated when they're in their fighting. It's only 24 hours after they rehydrate. That's not enough time to get to the brain. And we go to Wands with you. And these guys would come in like, they're looking like that cancer. They looked dead. Yeah. I would see them. And then they would, by V in the back. And I think they cut out IVs. That's the work. They cut out IVs. I'm going to be in there with you and looking at these guys coming in. There we go. They look like they were on that fucking G.O.P. But that's just like fucking Sharon Osborne's daughter. I mean, they were looking fucked up, Jack. Yeah. They looked dead. Some guys looked real. Do you remember when Anderson Silva fought Travis Luder? Do you remember that fight? Yeah. Did you get your guy from Texas? Exactly. Yes. That was the worst I ever saw anybody at a weigh-in. He looked really fucked up. And again, this was not the ceremonial weigh-in like we have now. This was like the actual weigh-in. See if you can make the weight. And Travis couldn't walk. He was shuffling. He could pick his legs up. His lips were cracked. His body was dry. That can't be good for you. Oh. And then to pick it back up and then go through rounds. Exactly. And go punches eight o'clock the next night. Meanwhile, I mean, he was so depleted, but he got a hole to Anderson the first round. It took him down. And that's what he wanted to do. And Travis Luder just threw in Texas. Yeah. He's gone to school. Kevin Hohn's coach. Oh, shit. Yeah. Yeah. Travis is a bad motherfucker. Travis was a bad motherfucker. When guys rolled with him on the ultimate fighter, one of the best compliments, one of the guys said he goes, dude, he goes, I've rolled with only a couple guys like that. He's like him and Ricardo Laboreo. I go, really? I go, that guy feels like Ricardo Laboreo. He's that level. He goes, he's like, dude, he was running through people, just running through people on the ground. Travis was a beast. He was one of the first truly elite Brazilian Jiu-Jitsu black belts in like the modern era. They're like the Anderson Silva era, whereas when he got guys to the ground, you were in trouble. You're in real trouble. There's a few guys. Charles Oliver Verra is the big one. Charles Oliver puts people in position to like, oh, no, what have I done? You think you're going to be comfortable in his guard, like bitch, you're never going to be comfortable on the ground with Oliver. Oliver is just so dangerous, everyone. He is, and you get to correct. Oh, yeah. Yeah. He's like, what's going to stand out? Great camp. He's from that shoot-to-box camp. I mean, that camp produced Anderson Silva, Marie Ninja, Shogun, like who else? Paile, one of the original MMA fighters, back in the bare knuckle days. He was the top dude in the original days. No, Nogar is not from shoot-box. Nogar is a Carlson Gracie guy. Those, why is he Carlson Gracie, right? No. Carlson is in Chicago? No, Nogar wasn't Carlson Gracie. Nogar was, I don't want to get that wrong. Who was Nogar's trainer? Nogar. He's the original Jiu-Jitsu coach. Fucking brother, probably. No. Both of them were elite. They were twins. They were twins, right? Yeah, they were twins. They were both elite. They were both like world-class fighters and pride. Does it say is Jiu-Jitsu coach? Minotaro was the first, like he was the first guy that was like finishing elite guys off of his back in pride. Like he was tapping to, like when he was the champion in pride, like, you remember when he beat Bob Samp? No. Bob Samp was 350 pounds with abs and the fight was crazy. He picks Minotaro up and spikes him on his head in the beginning of the fight, fucked his neck up for years. Like his neck was fucked up after that fight and still survived and eventually caught Bob Samp in an arm bar. But it was bananas. Okay. Yeah, there you go. On my potentials, another guy fought early in the UFC. So that's his coach for one. Where did he get his black belt? Just see where he got his black belt from. Just ask the question, who gave Minotaro his black belt? We just say, okay, Hacardo Dela Hiva. That's his primer instructor. There you go. Okay. Yeah, he was, he invented the Dela Hiva hook. Probably. There's a bunch of moves that are attributed to guys that it's not quite sure whether or not they invented it, but they were really good at it, you know? How much fun does that get, somebody Dela Hiva and fake them down? That's fun. I can't finish the leg lock. I never could have fucking terrible. I can't get my arms around it. I'm fucking. My shoulders are fucked up. Leglocks are scary. I don't like holding that shit. You fuck them up. You know, you twist the wrong way, you turn the wrong way, you hear things pop. E. Scary. You still training? No. I haven't over a year. I haven't done anything wrong with you. I was for a while. I've got a knee problem. It's much better now. I've been really working on it over the last six months, but it kept swelling after a while. The thing is, it would get better and it would feel pretty good and then I'd hurt it again. And usually I hurt it like a year ago hunting. I twisted it hunting and then I've also hurt it like hitting the back too. Like sometimes I just start wailing on the back. And you forget. Yeah. You forget. It's just the next day it's sore as fuck. It's like, I don't have meniscus on one part of my knee, so I have to make sure that it doesn't get arthritic. You know what I mean? Because like, I don't have to tell you. Like once your knee gets bad, it's a real problem. It's a problem. And so you gotta like walk that edge between when you don't have cartilage or you don't have meniscus and your cartilage is getting bone on bone like that, like you gotta be careful. You gotta be careful. They're getting real close to fixing shit. Real close. they're injecting like different.
different kinds of gels and people's knees now that replace the meniscus. And they're also doing some new stem cell therapy where they go into the bone itself and it regenerates our energy. - That's bad, but that gel, they always work you with that gel. - I think it's a new one, Joey. It's like a, it's, they call it a biological matrix. - Right, you need to fucking get like a, you need to get like insurance approval and all that. Yeah, I did it. That's just all those things. It's like when you see an ad for somebody, you have problems sweeping by this mouthpiece. But 20, 90, 90, 90. - I don't think you got what they have now because this is just released in Germany. - No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. - This is brand new. - But this gel, like I'm just saying to you, the gel, the quarters, or I have friends with knee problems. And they tell me what they go through and they go to different doctors. And it's the same fucking, we got quarters off here. We got the gel. We're not gonna do the PRP and we don't do stem cell. So you, Joe, regular, you don't do no reading. This is what happened to me with the fucking why I did this surgery in the first place. You had moved here and I didn't know about ways to well. I'm not, I wouldn't have never cut this knee the first time. Never, never. I didn't read up on it because when my wife was pregnant, I read up on all that shit and I was, I didn't want to have the baby no more. 'Cause it said when you're off for 43, you'll die if you're giving birth, like if you're not ready and when you get older as a woman, you know, now women have kids of 50s and fucking 55s. But a woman has to be, she has like a short window and they have a lot of things that could go wrong with the pregnancy. When I read that, I got nervous from my wife. I'm like, she's gonna die on a fucking table. And I'm stuck raising a girl. I don't know if I can raise a girl. You know what am I gonna do here? So I didn't really, I researched it a little bit. After I got the knee, after I went and I saw the fucking, the chisel and the fucking mat was on the table. I go, we gotta look into this and I get out of here. Like this is fucking insane. I would have never done the redo knee. I would have waited, shot at which stem cell, BPC it. At that time, I'm still a little fearful of needles. So I was like BPC them. Everything is, you gotta shoot it. - You're fearful of needles, but not of a knee replacement. That's hilarious. - No, I'm pro, now I'm fine. Now I took, it took four stays in the hospital last year to fucking let go. One day they had to come in and take blood out. I mean, every 20 minutes for three hours. - Why? - It's that type of test. They shoot you with something to see how you react to it. And, I don't got any pain in time. I don't think no more. Unless, like last time, I was raised to well. I went in there, hungover on those tequila's from the mothership, drinking that run white juice and shit. I went in there with no breakfast. Like, we need to take blood out within minutes. I'm pale. I'm sweat profusiously. They got to put ice on my back and on my neck and shit. And when I did the, when they turned the switch off on your leg, what's that? When you do that little, before surgery, when I first heard the knee, they said, we're not gonna give you pain medication, but if you're really hurting that bad, come on down here and we'll give you a nerve block. - Oh, they give you a nerve block. - Oh, Rogan, holy shit. - Who did that? Where did they do that? - Because the place where I went for surgery, the first time they're shit. - Uh-huh. - This place is specialized and all that stuff. So they have their own therapy. They have their own like the surgeons and then they have a pain department that they talk to you. And they go, listen, you could take this. You wanna, we'll give it to you. But let's do this. Let's try it with this. They don't want you, you know, and I understand it. People lose their minds on those fucking things. So I did the nerve block first, Joe. Holy fuck. Holy fuck. And when I went to the doctor about a month ago, the girl was like, I was dead. And when I fainted she goes, you didn't faint. But your shoe came close. She goes, you lost all the color in your face. It's crazy, Joey. Had drink water. And then the epidora block, you ever do one of those? - No. - Well, no, I did when I had my knee surgery. - Yeah, they always knee surgery. I got to put you out for those. - They did, most of the time. But my first ACL, I asked if I could watch. And he said, you don't wanna watch it. I go, no, I do, but I don't wanna, I don't wanna get this done once. I wanna see it. Watch it. - Where'd you see it? They shot it in your spine. - Well, they shot it in my spine. - Right. - And so you don't feel anything in your legs. And I watched him open my knee up and put it together again. - Fuck you, Joe. - That's. - No. - The epidora block is one of the worst. - I wanted to see, I'm like, I don't wanna do this once. I didn't know that I was gonna have another ACL. Resurgery. - Are you gonna get put out for your surgery? - No, not the first one. The second one I did. - That's insane, Joe. That's fucking insane. I love you. I used on bone shit, but. - I wanted to watch. - No, I wanna watch a lot of this. - I wanna see what it looks like. 'Cause it's kind of crazy. They're gonna take your knee, take a slice out of your pratella tendon along with a chunk of bone, and a chunk of bone for your kneecap, and then screw it back in place. I'm like, this is crazy. I wanna watch. Held up. Still good. The real problem was the meniscus. So they didn't even take the meniscus out then. They just stitched it up. There was a tear in the meniscus, but it wasn't too bad, and he thought it could heal. 'Cause I was in my 20s. I was like 23, I think. 22. And then over time, it just got wore out. The tear became a bucket handle tear. And then it would lock. So it would pull. The meniscus would pull up and lock in place. It was fucking insanely painful. And I was like, this keeps happening. It happened a couple of times. It was like, it happened in jiu-jitsu class, and Eddie Bravo had to take me to the doctor. So Eddie Bravo had to drive my NSX. We drove straight to the doctor, and they tell me I need to get my meniscus removed. I'm like, okay. And then he told me I need to stop doing martial arts. I was like, okay, that's cute. - That's the first they'll tell you. - Yeah. You gotta stop doing martial arts. - Don't play very thick. Don't watch a lot. You know this. - 30 years later, fuck you. - I'll get one of those things. - Yeah, I sure. - Vivian ones, what are these? - These are alps. That's Tucker Carlson's one. Those are good. It's six milligrams. These are threes. This is athletic nicotine. That's threes. I like those. They don't make you jittery. Those take a hell of a hit. Tucker likes Mr. Ron. - I like 'em, but they fucking always swallow my mistake, and it's fucking. Next thing I'm shitin' pouches and shit. I had a pouch. They have focused ones. - Yeah, that's these, altruists. - Yeah, I do the altruists, but I'll have them in this room anymore. - I was doing those after I had the surgery. - Those are great. - They have pretty good. - There's a bunch of really good things for your focus. People that think it's all bullshit, you know, like that neutropics are bullshit, and you're allowed to think whatever you want. But trust me, from someone who uses his brain for a living, there's a difference between taking neutropics and not taking them. It's not gonna make you smarter, but it'll make your brain function at a better level. There's a bunch of shit that works like that. Like, you know, those ketone drinks, like ketone IQ, that helps a lot. - Really? - Yeah, your brain uses ketones. Your brain uses ketones for focus. That's why people that take ketogenic diets and go on carnivore diet, they say it gives them more mental clarity. You have more focus. It's fact. Like, I feel different when I'm eating like clean, if I'm eating carnivore or just eggs and steak, my brain works better. 100%. It's just not processing the carbs and all the fog that comes with that. Not the carbs are bad for you. But when you take this stuff, this stuff is shit. This is my friend Derek's Gorilla Mind. This is a neutropic drink. It's like energy drink. No, it's got some caffeine in. It's got a good amount of caffeine, but it's got a bunch of neutropics. So there's a bunch of like brain vitamins in there. - You know anything about me? - Yeah, my cell in this. This is my friends. - You know, I'm not a, you know that I have a great memory of dates and I can take it a different situation. Stories. - I don't know what happened last three years. - How come? - If I talk to you on a Monday, which I usually do, you call me Mondays on the way home at six. Whatever we talked about, like Thursday, I don't remember. Like you'll say, call me back when you find out. I fucking forget now. Like just, this is recent, this is the last few years. - Last few years, I could see. You know, you're 60, a lot of shit changes. You, you know, it's really weird, Joe. I need eight now. I need eight, sorry. I need eight. - Eight, what? - I was asleep. Eight, solid. I got the wool. I need it. - Makes a difference. - One and a half, don't cut it. - Yeah. - Yeah. - I need eight now. And don't get me started on an hour nap. Well, an hour, 15 nap and two or three o'clock in the afternoon. If I get up in the morning, I get up at six. So I put it on the bus. I start smoking weed and nine. I'm at a gym. I'm doing something. Boxing, PT, you know? So, by fucking two o'clock during this days, I walk in. There ain't no stopping. There ain't no pissing. I go right to the bed, put the mask on and go right to sleep. Just like that. I mean, there's no thought. There's no stopping. What is that? Monopoly? Stop it. Go and get 200. They know that. I come in, I drop my bag. I pee and I walk around upstairs, right to the bed. I move the cattle over, get the fuck over. And I fuck and put that mask on. - There's a cat cuddle with you. - Oh, please. And he goes under the blanket. She goes under the blanket with me, too. So it's perfect. - That's funny. - But, dog, it's not normal. I don't fly out early, no more. - Fuck you. - Yeah, you need a solid amount of sleep. As you get older, it's even more important. You know what else is really important? Creatine. - I take 10 milligrams twice a day. - Beautiful. - Beautiful. - Beautiful. - That's phenomenal for your memory. And that's a really good neutropic as well. - I don't like the gummies. - I think we got them. - You had some gummies on it, you know. - Yeah, those are good. I like them.
- The neighbor gave me that you had him? - I prefer to just open it up and pour it in my mouth and then drink water. - Yeah, me too. - I like the powder too. - Yeah, I put like the 10 milligrams in my mouth and I just drink water. - You don't put it on your food, do you? - No. - I just keep it. - I put it on a smoothie from time to time. I'm like the raspberries with coconut water. - The best way to make sure that I'm getting all 10 milligrams is to just pour it in my mouth and then drink water with it. Because otherwise it's in the glass, you gotta rinse the glass and get more of it in. You know, you're giving yourself an exact dose, just put it in your mouth, dry scoop it. So I just dry scoop it in my mouth and then pour the water in there. That's how I do it most of the time. What the gummies are really good for is if you forget and then just laying around, you just eat a couple of gummies, you know? - I don't know how many milligrams are in the nose, right? - It says it on the nose. - I think two gummies is five milligrams. I think that's what it is. - I also got turned on to a three-inch company that has a pre-attained precursor. Is that any good? - Pre-attained? - Pre-attained precursor. - I don't know what that is. - Your own body creates creatine. - Right. - By the tone, this helps. - Oh, it's just a body, I think it's called the precursor. - Yeah, I don't know. - Hey, did I say, just write off with a fucking, you know what I'm saying? I know that 'cause I'm saying it wrong, like Voltron. I don't fucking know, guys. - I'm sure there's something. I mean, there's always a bunch of, I mean, there's, if you think about how many supplements are out there, like, good Lord. There's so many supplements. And not all of them are good, but a lot of them are really good. Here's another one that's really good for working out. Beta-Alene. You ever take that? - No. - Phenomenal. Phenomenal. - Do I take everything else? - It makes you tingle, though. It makes your skin look like iodine. - Like iodine. - You would take iodine? - No. - Iodine. - Yeah, like you, there's a pill or something. You take iodine to help you. - It's supposed to do that if you get radiation poisoning. - Listen, when first pissed test came out, they said you would take iodine. So again. - Did you put chloroxin in your dick? - I put chloroxin in my dick afterwards because the iodine obviously didn't fucking work, okay? - Imagine when they read your piss through the fucking test machine, they'd be like, what is this? - Do you understand? - Do you understand? - Do you understand? Like, this time, every minute I go out and take my cup of coffee and I just outside, I think, you know, the whole fucking bullshit story. And then it takes me somewhere. Like after the second cup of coffee and one of these zins in a bonnet, your mind goes somewhere and I think a chunk of my life, and I go, what the fuck was that? Like that was chow, that was insanity. What about, every time I used to come to my house to do the checkup, I never let him in. He came like 11 times in two years. I never let him in my house. He would know I was in the house. He would put the sheriffs and sit outside my house for two hours, then they would leave. They were like, what are you gonna do? He's not home. I tortured that guy. He could have sent me to prison. I still would have been in prison. But it was such a, like first was the iodine. And then you fucking, you know, you're supposed to take 20 milligrams. Yeah, I mean 200, whatever. I don't know. And my skin is burning. I'm fucking red in the face. I got itchy. So I stopped with the iodine. I still came back positive. Then I went on the fucking white vinegar. White vinegar. White vinegar with a fucking bottle of gatorane on a Monday morning. Not a little vinegar, not red wine vinegar. The real vinegar that you clean your ass hole with, and douche bags and all that shit. Really good clean job. That's what, when we watched that monkey with vinegar, because it takes all the fucking cat piss out of them. Oh shit, they got in there. So they said drink vinegar every Monday morning, bro. And it's like a process. Like you would get high Friday and you would hope to beat it by Sunday. But you knew you weren't gonna beat it. And they're gonna call you Monday. And it's like your color is yellow, right? Like, if they say yellow, you got to come in. So you wait till one o'clock and you're like, all right. You got to call in and all of a sudden, today Monday, Tuesday, the 9th of June, the colors are purple. And you're like, yellow, god damn, now I got it. Now I got to figure out, I got five hours. The place closes at six. I got to figure out how to stop this cocaine from coming up. So then we started taking a pseudo. What's pseudo? It's always what you put in like, yellow. It's that thing that makes the yellow jiggle with some shit. What? Fuck it, pseudo. Now there was some winter that these days, right? What is that? A brand of liquid fruit pectin, most commonly used in a kitchen is a thickening agent from homemade jams and jellies. However, it's also widely known as an internet folk remedy. People use an attempt to mask drug metabolites in urine. I don't see a folk remedy. It's fucking bullshit. Does it work? No, that's why. Let's find out if it works. The myth, many online forums suggest mixing pseudo with a large sports drink like Gatorade and drinking it a few hours for a drug urine test. The theory claims the fiber traps toxins in your digestive tract. Reality, health professionals and medical studies show no scientific evidence that fruit pectin can reliably clear drugs or toxins from your urine while fiber works in the gut as no effect on what your kidneys filter into your urine. This episode is brought to you by Armra. Every week there's some new wellness hack that people swear by. And after a while, you start thinking, why do we think we can just outsmart our bodies? That's why Armra colostrum caught my attention. It's something the body already recognizes and has hundreds of these specialized nutrients for gut stuff, immunity, metabolism, et cetera. I first noticed it working around training, especially workout recovery. Most stuff falls off, but I am still taking this. If you want to try, Armra is offering my listeners 30% off plus two free gifts. Go to armra.com/rogan. But again, you get your advice from a guy who's done 30 fucking years. Then you forget, he's been doing 30 years 'cause he made mistakes. Not because he's a fucking genius about pseudo. You know, and then we went from pseudo and then one day I was saying-- What do you think work? Is anything work? No, cranberry juice. What about that stuff that they used to sell? Remember these to sell stuff? This is 90 fucking. This is 89. That is all knocking. No, but do you remember there was some stuff that you could buy-- And shake it in or something? Yeah, no, no, you're saying the-- There's this stuff. You could buy piss now now, which is completely different. You could buy piss? Yeah, you could buy piss online. Just get that dirty fucking XPT, whatever you go on and you could search hidden shit all over the world. So you just got to get a rubber dick and take that piss and talk. I had a guy who made a rubber dick. Normal let could not stop snorting coke. So he made a contraption where he filled up his son's piss in the hot water bottle and did the same thing with the douche. And he took the douche on the bottom. He scots taped it to his dick. And he would piss and squeeze his chest. Oh, my God. That's what made his thing blew up. And he was a bank robber. He said to jail for 30 fucking years. You want to hear the craziest steroid evasion store that I've ever heard from piss? There was a guy who was fighting. And he knew he was going to get piss test and he was just juiced to the tits. So the legend is that they inserted clean urine into his bladder through injection. So he injected clean urine into his bladder with a needle. Whether or not that's true, I have no idea. But this is what everybody-- this is like early days of the UFC. Like when they first started drug testing people. I don't even think it was in the UFC that he did this. I think it was in another organization. But I don't know if it's true. Think about what's going on the other side of this. Your addiction is that high. Well, these guys were in that shoe stuff. When they're that shoe stuff, they're not getting off of it. No, no, no, no muscle. I get it. I understand. So do you understand these streams that people do? Could you ever shoot fucking fake piss? I'm like, Joey, go piss my fucking thing. I'm going to shoot Joey's piss. A guy willing to do that and trusting that guy was finding your bladder. He could shoot piss into your liver. Who knows what this guy even understands in that movie? But these are the levels that you do. So here I am, started on work, fucking nothing works, and one day I'm on a pool. I'm like, oh shit, when you piss on the pool, the pool cleaner, cleaned all this, and not the pool would be green to the next minute. So this is your logic? So when I took the kids, I took one of those cubes first. Or I think crumbs smashed it up. And then I put it on my outside of a dick because I'm on circumcised. So I would pull the skin back. And that would fall into the fucking piss. And then-- so he told me once he got some happened last time. You fucked up the machine. That's something like that, right? Wemen would insert condoms filled with someone else's urine inside themselves, he said. Some athletes would inject urine into their bladder, using a catheter. Oh god, they did do that. So that's real. So maybe that's how he did it. Maybe they used a catheter. And that's how they put the fake-- But then there's the wizzinator. Yeah, that was the rubber dick. That's, uh, one of the-- Wasn't there some stuff that you could buy that you would get it like a head shop? Yeah, they did. And it's supposed leaf detox to you. This is '89. But does that stuff work? No, it's nothing. Why was Google has this stuff and it's real? That's everything's real? Yeah, I always assumed that it wasn't real. I was just screaming at it. You were selling this at a head shop. Stuffed from the '90s, these are some of the products. But the killer was when I used Drainel. Oh, OK, so this is all bullshit. Yeah, they just rock people. Fettish urine. Look at that. Look at that labels, fetish urine. What the fuck does that mean? It's probably a way to sell it because you have to say what, you know. Oh, that piss. Not for human consumption. Oh, so that's your buying piss? Oh, so that's an actual bag of piss on the right? Oh, good lord. This one calls it tinkle. It's fetish urine.
And so if you just like want something to piss on you, but no one's willing. You're very told that story. I'm not the guy with the gay club, the guy at the bathtub. Everybody was pissing out of the tub. And then that party, Shema took me till in that hotel next to the comedy store. And they were getting pissed on in there. The women and then I wake up sadly. I'm feeling good about myself and I'm on Twitter. I see Bonnie blue. She had a, that chick is fucking, she got pissed on. I had a baby shower in her ass. People were pissing the pussy in her ass. And I'm like, something's got to stop that woman. She's the least of her problems. Oh my God. I'm fucking baby shower that I used to drain. Although that was the best because that destroyed the machine. But, but the truth of the matter is when he said something happened last time. Well, this is what happened. I put the drain on my dick and I walked up to the counter and I put on the desk. And he asked you questions, how's it been, but, and I'm looking at this thing and they're starting to phone. And it's coming out of the bag. And I'm looking at this thing going, this motherfucker. And what he did was just picked it up and threw it in the bag. Like when they pick it up and test it, sometimes you leave the cop top off. That was all trick. You leave the top off and then it spilled off. So that buys you one extra week, but the time with the drain, oh, it started like, whoa, but it was like shaking at the thing. Like phone was coming out of the fucking sides and I locked it up. Good. That's what happened. There was no oxygen. That motherfucker was like, you know, boom, so I put it in the fucking thing. And he called me a few days later. It's like, listen, I wrote up a thing. I'm taking the court because you broke the machine. This cannot continue this can continue this can't continue. This is like a fucking cat mouse game. What did you put in your body? What happened? What the fuck is going on, Jose? So, hey, your machine sucks. Your machine broke and then asked me to do with me. No, and then they put me on like this hold. They were like, well, I'm going to piss you off. What the, we're done. We can't take this mental fucking. So this is when you're in the probation department. Now that we're going to throw me back in community corrections, because they'll put you in for 90 days and all that. I met this fucking guy for three months. We spoke like nothing, like gentlemen. I would talk to him so I'm once a week and one day I said, what do you do? And he goes, I'm just a attorney in Boulder, Bill Wise. I need a beef. I need a problem. I'm in this probation. They won't leave me alone. What do I do to get off? You just have your attorney drop a statement and I'll sign it and get your probation. And that was it. Just a guy met on the street, Bill Wise. And then he got fired after the job, but he ramps, he think he was there during the whole january ramsy thing and everybody, I fucking fired, I guess. I know Bill Wise is a great dude, man. He was good to me. And I told him, he asked him what I did. I told him the truth and he goes, did you learn from this day? Yeah, I'm here working, and I was okay. Pass it over to the side of my God. How fucking lucky am I? I'm done. I'm done. I was done. Started in 87 and it was all the way to 91 for a year. I was fucking them up with the Pete thing. Then they put me back in the ass, but in the halfway house. And that was even worse. I was out of control in that out of, there was freaks in that. There's fucking everything in there. Freaky girls. I was feeling the air conditioner out of the conference room in my room. They couldn't, you know, they couldn't handle me there either. They're like, are you going to just call home? I'm not going to fuck with you. And that's what you do. Just wear somebody ragging. They'll let you go eventually. I'll just say, you know what, man, they were at the, you're never going to stop. You're never going to stop. And then a year later, I had like an affair with the, one time I had an affair with like the chick that worked in the office. She's the one that had the one leg. I don't have a Chinese food to it. It never stopped. And you think of those chunks in your life and go, what the fuck was going on? Yeah, you're out of control. Like it's 31 years and I still won't get back to bold because of the shame I endured. Seriously, like I won't got there. Everybody goes, why don't you go back to the bold because I'm ashamed. And that was such a beautiful city. And I treated it like it was Newark, right? Like what I wanted. I would go to Kmart and hang on outside the fucking, the, the lone plus more department. And people will come out with new lawnmowers in the receipt with flyer. I get that receipt, go to lawnmower and get that lawnmower for 400 and walking up. I'm going, my mother bought me this. I don't want to know more. And I give them the receipt and they give me 400 cash plus tax. Who does that? That fucking poison us. I took that thing down by myself with those Jeffrey bucks. I took them down to the Jeffrey buck. Think it's like when you bring us a stolen computer in there and they give you, they won't give you cash. They'll give you a Jeffrey bucks. So you have to spend it on in the fucking store. Uh, you know, I had a million dollars in Jeffrey bucks at one time on bicycles and fucking. It's just, it just, I was an animal and I feel really guilty about it today. I'm thinking of booking the Fox theater and bolder and doing like, cause Ladizia is opening back up my Italian joint. So they call them, they say, we're opening back up. I'm like, I'm thinking of doing bolder like Fox theater. Just take my lumps apologize. Donate to something there and just call it a fucking mic. Cause I still feel guilty, man. I'm old, but now I feel guilty about the damage. I put bolder through fucking eight. I mean, I got chased through the wall by security. And I'm throwing fucking see these Adam. I know that the Denver Broncos are playing Cleveland and 87. Those big playoff games. Do you remember those Jamie talking about tomorrow one day and everybody's in the hallway looking at TV's on like, who's minding the stores? I wanted to radio shack and I popped out the fucking CD player brand new and just put the quarterback and walked out like nothing does that dog that's animal. I'm a shame to admit this shit, but it was like you said, when you first went to bolder first time, you like, this must have been a fucking grocery store for Joey. That's exactly what I said when I went there. It was a shame. Everybody's so, they're so like peaceful and sweet. I brought chaos. Yeah, chaos and it was too much. When I was in the prison, I brought chaos and had myself open. I did what I wanted. It was just too much and I, to his days, New York. You could shit like that because that's what New York is about. I was a fucking piece of shit in New York, too, but I don't feel guilty about that. I still walk around the city now. That's so many pieces of shit in New York. Yeah, sneak in bolder. It was unique, but in bolder, they didn't have anything like me. I was shaking down people. Some guy kept acting on me. I saw you on A&E. Remember in the '90s and '80s A&E was a mafia channel. They talked to Bill, whatever, talked about A&E to call the own family. And this guy saw me when they was like, hey, you're the guy that's in the witness relocation plan. This is 80 fucking nine. This is way before Sammy and all those guys went in. This guy's telling me, you're a witness relocated guy, a little telling guy. I saw you on A&E. You're George, the animal, something from Boston on my dog. That's not me. Stop saying that. I already got problems in fucking bolder. You're telling people that I'm a witness relocated. I'm off your guy. He pissed me off so much, but I just kicked this fucking dog down here. Like when I was Italian, Nicknack stores. I went in and I said, dog, since I'm George, the animal I am, you're going to give me 200 a week. Bro, he started giving me 200 a week for like three weeks. Then he called the sit down with Antonio LaDesia. And Antonio was like, yeah, you got to keep paying them. And the guy closed up shot like three weeks later. I never saw him again. A little telling guy would always kick his shoes up. Dog, that's crazy shit. I was snortin' coke on the ATM and bolder. They had a next to Murphy's. There's an ATM you could walk into with the door. I was going there with a case of beer at night and just put coke on the metal. People coming. Guys. Can't take this shit back, but it was darned and I can't undo it, you know. What about us, you know? What does it bother you? Does it just make you. Listen, confused. No, the fuck can I be remembered? Have to shit, I'm saying. Nobody ever remembers this shit. People are on, they move done with their lives. They saw me and I go, hey, that's a guy to kidnap the guy. No, you know, my name was in the paper. My picture wasn't. I didn't have a picture of me, but everything else was in the fucking paper. It's a guilt. It's a weird fucking guilt, man. I could have done so much better that if I were to play. If I were to play my college run, I could have graduated college as a fucking astronaut, because they were going to give me everything, just because I was Cuban. They had no Spanish people at that college. They had only like eight blacks that played football, so they would do anything to get Latino. Meet new grippy setting mist from Mabel in New York. Gel to mist technology locks in your look for up to 24 hours, with flexible all-day-gum-vy grip. No tightness, no stickiness, no residue. Try new grippy setting mist from Mabel in New York. Maybe it's Mabel in. I would have been a fucking astronaut. What a GED. Yeah, but we would have missed this, Joey. Yeah, but it's good that it turned out this way. Who may ask you something? If you wouldn't have gotten into this fucking thing, what would you, what would you think you'd be doing now? If I hadn't gotten into which one? This thing that would do them. Stand up calmly. No, stand up calmly. How many opened up everything? What would I be doing? Uh, I don't know, man. I don't know. I probably would have fought again. Would you be a chef? Would you be? I mean, that could pin you as a chef. You love to cook. Yeah, I do love to cook. Um, chef, amazing. I would have found something that I enjoyed doing. What? I don't know. I would have figured it out. What's your second love? The real problem would be if I had a kid real young. Well, so if, uh, you know, I know a bunch of my friends
got married and had kids when they're like 22, 23. The problem is nothing wrong with that, but then that really limits your ability to just go for it. 'Cause you have mouse to feed. That's a different animal. You know, I think about the early days of standup when I was 21 and how I had zero money. I mean, zero. I had zero money. I barely could eat. I remember at a big fucking jar of pennies and nickels, dimes and shit. And I remember rolling it all up so I could go get a sandwich. Like, I had no money. And so I could imagine like if I was trying to do that, I said, well, I'm just gonna live like this for a couple years and I think if I work hard enough, I could eventually start making money doing standup and if I keep getting better, maybe I could be a professional. You know, that was the idea. It was never like, have a career. But if I had a kid and I had a wife, there's no way I would have done it. There's no way I would have gotten a job. And that's where a lot of people get into. Or maybe you think it's gonna be a good investment to get a house, which it is. But now you've got a mortgage. So you've got a mortgage. You can't just fucking lose everything. I got my car repossessed. I was broke, man. I was broke. - Bro, I used to have to hide my clinic arosly when reposses it. - Shit. - Yeah, I mean, it was 100% checked to check. - I don't have any money in the bank. - I don't know if this ever happens to you, but it happens to me a lot now. This is why I started this grateful shit because their day is I pull up to my house. I don't know who lives there. - Yeah. - I go, who lives here? This is me? - I know, it doesn't feel real. - And then you ask, you say yourself, this is the most important thing for people listening. I want you to listen to this. If you have a dream or a goal, you go, I got to pay for that with comedy. Which I always thought I was just gonna make a long haul of set. And I would have been fine with that. If nobody would have bothered me in my life, I would have been fine with a long haul of set getting them my beat up car and doing that, getting your dick sucked, getting STDs, I would have done all that shit, you know? That's what it is. So when you look at your house, whether it costs 40,000 or 80 million, and go, I pay for this, doing $15 sets at the comedy store. - Yeah. - When you got into this, you just wanted to survive. Never mind the fucking house and cars. And you never dreamed of this would stand up. I know I didn't. - I never dreamed of this with anything. - No. - I never thought I would be a person who had money. - I dreamed of being a funny person and to be funny enough to make a living in stand up. - Yeah. - I never saw this part of it. So when I pull up in my house and I go, that was paid with 20 hours sets. 25 hours here, 15 here, Andre here, yeah, that adds up. I'm not saying that, but that was paid by a dream. - Yeah. - Not something my family did. I wasn't forced into like raising lemons or whatever the fuck people do. - Got a decent, you know, grow lemons. - You know, seriously, we were born into this. This is something we got into and said, I just want to survive. I just want to be able to eat three meals and get enough gas to go to the next thing. Forget money in the bank. Forget it. It's overrated. I would never even open up a bank. I didn't open up a bank house. I was 40 years old. You know, I just ran on whatever the fuck. I would open and put 20 in and write a bounce check and fucking move on and pray that nobody caught you, you know. And people have no idea what that feeling is like. I get in my car and I go, holy shit. How many cars that I had that I had a, one of those bungee cords? Oh yeah, bungee cord. So I had a car when I first stood calmly. I had to close the door with a bungee cord. Across my thing, it was like my combination seat belt because if I took a fucking right turn, the door would open. You know, the door would just wing open. Now I'm in a car that's fucking I paid for. With comedy, not drugs, not anything. No, whether it's nice or not, you paid for this without nobody's interference with somebody, with something that somebody told you you'd never be good at. You'd never be good at. Somebody at least said it to you one time, Joe. Come on, man, come here. You're never gonna, what do you think? You're gonna be on HBO? We're fucking Richard Pryor and George Colin. You laugh, but you're like, they're kind of right. They were fucking wrong. We didn't know it. We just didn't fucking know it. Well, it's like telling someone, I'm gonna run 200 miles. They're like, no, you're not. You can't even run around the block. Like, no, one day I'm gonna run 200 miles. Like, no, you're not. You're not gonna run 200 miles. And most of the time they're right. But if you're one of those motherfuckers, I says, look, it might take me 10 years to develop the endurance to run 200 miles. But I can't, if I start right now, next month, I'm gonna be able to run five miles. You know, in six months, I'll be able to run 10 miles. Then I'm gonna keep going. But then you quit before the miracle happens. Well, I've been somewhere along the line. How many people do we know, they're quit? How many people do we know that we're really talented? That we're really funny? I'm just disappeared. I know you see him like, I don't want to see anybody. But there's a few guys, and this is one guy at the early days of the comic store that I really tried to help. I connected him to my manager, and I was like, this guy's legit. I'm like, you're funny, dude. Like, you're good. If you just fucking sit and then had a bunch of personal problems, had a kid, the thing he had some legal issues, damn. But that guy, I'm like, I'll tell you later, who it was. No, I know it was. Yeah, but I was like, that motherfucker was funny. He was funny. Way funny, and I was. He was great, and he was a fun dude to be around. He was a cool dude. I was like, he's gonna make it. There was people I looked at, and I go, that way for me, and I am holy fuck. He was both like the same age, too. We were like 27 when I first met him. And I connected him with my manager, and he was like, nobody ever did anything like that for me before. Like, nobody tries to help me. Nobody. I was like, listen, man, you'll do it to now. You'll make it, and then you'll do it, too. Well, I'll do it. It helps, and it doesn't hurt. It doesn't hurt, you would all help somebody, but it helps them, and it helps you. It helps you feel better. You feel better that you're helping someone. It's like, I always say that being generous is kind of selfish in a way, because you feel better, too. Like, when I'm generous, I feel better. - I do. - Yeah, yeah, we all do. And when we're kind, and when we try to help people, you feel better. It's good for you. It's good for everybody. And it's like, that's a message that the world needs to hear. Like, you could be good to people, and if you're good to people and you're nice to people, it'll help you, too. - And if you find someone who's got something, and you're doing a thing, like you're doing a thing, and there's someone who's got a spark, there's a little talent, help them, help those people. Give them advice, give them a push, let them open for you, watch their set, give them some feedback, help them. 'Cause, you know. - We're not in the comedy business, Joe. I'm never in the comedy business. I don't know what anybody's talking about. We're in the karma business. - It's a little of that. - I'm in the karma business. I am not in the karma business. My goal every day is to make somebody's day, one person, a woman at a supermarket, you're looking fucking bad at a motherfucker today. - I always thought that, Joe, yeah. - That, I just made her a fucking day. Her husband sees her every day and never tells us she's banging, and I'm going up to this late. I don't even know, and I'm like, damn, if I was 20 years younger, you know. They're older than me, like they, you know. That's my thing every day, just make somebody's day, one person, you can't save the world. But one day, a gesture, a handshake, a couple dollars is not gonna set you back. - That is kind of what, if you're doing a thing, or you're doing something that people enjoy, like think about like your sets. Like think about how many people have gone to see you and you change their night, gone to see you. Like how many nights at the store, people come in, you wanna see a show, yo, let's go see a show. You go on stage and rock that fucking place. They leave, they're holding their side, like ah, and they go out and get something to eat afterwards. They're only saying that fucking thing about ah! And they're like, change people's evenings. You change their feelings, you change the way they feel, and you feel good because of it. It's like this weird exchange. The reason why we love killing, especially people that are really good at it, what they love is that they're making other people happy. That's really what you love. - Okay, I love it. - You're making other people happy. And you feel happy because you're making it and when you don't, oh, you feel tearful. - I feel, I do better when I look at the audience and they laugh and then I laugh with them. Once I laugh, you're done. - Yes. - You're done. Once I start laughing and giggling. - If it's real. - Parties, oh yeah. - Yeah. - No, it's real. - It's real. When I look out there and I see somebody that should not be laughing and they're laughing, that's something blue is shit that I said and I don't expect them to laugh. That's what makes me laugh. Or the look on their face from the shock of you saying something. That's what always kicks me into this fucking mode. You know. - It's beautiful. - The other thing I want to talk about in this podcast, 'cause I was talking to a friend of mine, Jerseyers Stand Up. And this is the other thing people don't see. We're very blessed because we went to LA, well, little fuck, we went. And one day you're talking to somebody. And two weeks later, they were in the fucking the biggest movie in Hollywood. - Yeah. - And it's very hard to explain to people to sit, believe in yourself, and just keep showing up and that this happens. But since people don't see that happen in their world, you know, I'm in Jersey. What do you see? A guy hits the lottery. He can win some million dollars. That's their way out of this life. For us, it was like, we saw too many people make it like this. Like one day they had nothing in the next day. They're on CBS fucking doing a show for eight years. Whether it's Kevin or whether it's fucking, the other guy, the great guy from Pittsburgh. You've seen that.
It gives you hope now at that situation. You could say fuck that dude. He's a fucking loser. You could go good for him He just moved the notch up a little bit so I could get on that conveyor line That's the beauty of it not looking at that person going fuck him He sucks. He stole my joke in Pittsburgh who gets a fuck about Pittsburgh in 89 guys on TV now You know whatever he is be happy because you're next you know him you fucking do sat with him right you're there in the Rotation I'm at the story tonight. Yeah, it can happen for you. It happens. So when you see it you go. Oh shit Okay, now I know that I need that's if you're real that's if you're real. I need to get off coke I need to cut this shit out. I need to do this this and this just to get me closer to that Yeah, because I see it too much. I see people living in the apartment with eight people and next thing I got a house in Beverly Hills most people don't see that right so it's tough to explain to them What they're because everybody thinks you're gonna hit the lottery in your life's gonna change? Boy are they mistaken everybody thinks ten million dollars gonna change their life and make them a better person It's not it's not we think it's gonna look like when you were broke all those years you used to say I can't wait to have money Yeah, you never said I can't wait to have money for what? I never thought I would have money me neither I never said I can't wait to have money My thought was I want to like make a living. That's it. That's it That's why I was even when I first started with stand-up like it was just to make a living It was just doing this. I was a fucking loser in like regular society. I was good at kicking people I was a loser in regular society. I was like I didn't graduate college. I barely got out of high school I wasn't paying attention. I didn't care about school all I cared about was whatever I cared about whether it was drawing Or whether it was martial arts. Those are the things that I cared about. That's it And so I always felt like I just need to find a way to live because I'm never gonna be a successful person I had like resigned myself to that. I had no aspirations. You yeah, I fucking you were way worse than me Because you were in and out of jail. No, I had no family felonies. No GD I was set to fucking die Yeah, and that little fucking accident I had and when I was 25 years old, you know, it's like right now You're going you look at the news and there's this big thing going on by the ice facility by my house in Jersey In Newark they keep back and banging and I'm sitting there going It's how stupid we are as Americans. I don't know Americans know this shit When you go to jail you lose all your rights. You know, I don't go to jail, Joe because that sleep apnea machine doesn't mean nothing in jail We don't care if you die right you know what you have to do to get him sleep apnea machine in jail You got to go to the manufacturer at the center to you directly which we'll get into later, but my point is that Fucking what was my point? I don't even know. I got so high before Your point was that you never thought you were gonna go anywhere. I never thought I was gonna go anywhere Until comedy came around and you realize, oh, this is a thing that I can do, but all I wanted was 4,000 a month In my mind, I was such a loser that I said to myself if I can make 4,000 a month. I'm a millionaire and Today 4,000 a month doesn't even get you rent right not even nothing 4,000 4,000 a month was like 8,000 a month now And you would say okay, if I made a hundred grand a year I can live like you can live off 100 grand a year and be comfortable Like that's the goal the goal was always just to be comfortable But the thing with you is I realize it's like very early on You were good. It was gonna take a different path like I remember watching like you emerge when you really started Like killing on stage and I was saying and then you know all these agents You remember I had to one agent that we get mad that I'll take you You get mad. I was like what the fuck is wrong. He's not I don't think he's funny. I don't think he's talented I go you don't know what the fuck you're talking about you don't know anything I go why is he make me laugh so hard? He's like well you're a degenerate like a crazy person. You got to realize the audience is offended and you that's your audience like shut The fuck up. I knew that you were a different path So for you your Emergence came with the emergence of the internet and When the internet came around and we started doing podcasts on like this is the way that Joey's gonna break Because they'll get to see the real you when I told stories Yeah, listen, it's like 24/7 on HBO. You may hate fucking I don't throw any name up. You may hate that boxer for some reason. He's whatever he's cocky But then they show you his house And they show you he's got four daughters and they show you that he wakes up very morning feeds the daughters You thought he was a fucking animal in the cage isn't animal, but in light. He's just a regular guy And you get to see that and go now. I like him I don't see a guy that just punches people in the head. I see a guy that's look at him It's got fucking makeup on for his daughters and he's cooking breakfast every morning. Then he goes trains Like that Jason. What was his name the big young brother from the UFC Alexander? Remember he came and he was knocking heads and they found that he couldn't do Jitsu great guy though I was as he was raising four girls his wife the crack mom left that dude was a tank He was a tank and he would train in the morning and go home cook for the kids. No one he knocked out Keith, Chardine Big upset big upset big upset and then he tried to just try to take him out and Houston, Alexander was throwing bomb He was big and fucking strong jacked jack, and he was a radio DJ You know, he was a radio DJ. I didn't know that. Yeah. He was a hip-hop DJ Find out where Houston, Alexander. I love to know he is like a big DJ. Yeah, he's a good guy. He always talked me at the airport very good Very good guy. Very good guy. I was like wow But you know, you I knew that once I was able to tell my story where I came from it was I what I didn't know how to do it on stage Then after I did on the podcast over the years I got better enough to learn how to do it on stage But you did figure out how to do something on stage That was the switch and the switch was you figured out how to be Joey Diaz in the parking lot on stage in stage That was the that was killing, but it went like that like that. I never saw anybody flip a switch from struggling on stage to crushing like you I was like this is wild and I'm gonna tell you some of the reasons I was too focused on material You're too focused on your fucking material and you know at the end of your material sucks I've heard already and that's what I would think in my mind So I would do better when I went up there Just with one thought and attacked it. Mm-hmm. You know, I mean, I mean it's hard to explain what I'm saying to you Yeah, no you What you what you did was you treated the audience like they were your boys and we're all hanging out Versus treat the audience like I'm a comic. Here's some jokes like when you first started when I first what did I meet you in 96? 97 97 when I first met you you were doing jokes Right go on stage and do just focus on the jokes on that paper. Don't focus on that at 11 30th store Your jokes don't mean shit. They just saw three hours a top-notch comedy What do you bring into the table? You're gonna go up there and tell me what I saw on the news and who taught us that? Paul Mooney how to relax He would just go up there in my mind. He was just vibing with the audience He did a lot of that and it worked and I took that realm of Relax Mooney taught us a lot relax. He was a real veteran You know, he was like one of the only guys when we were there that was there during the prior years and was respected He wasn't like one of those there was a few guys that were still hanging around that had no literally acts from the Still doing like spring screen jobs. No, it was just bad, but his laid back. Yeah Always topical to always new shit anytime new shit was going on the news. He had 10 solid minutes on it And quick. Yeah that day. Yeah, they told me he was that night That day probably crushing on stage once we were dying the back room. He was oh, that's right. I write mother fucker I write yeah, no, no, we were dying that calmness taught me how to I was going up there in Russian Yeah, I was going up there to two mistakes rushing and worrying about that material like it was Bible right. I'll give you an example Sometimes I get an audition right when I was doing a lot of dishes. This is when I learned that early and I was auditioning Then if I focused on that line those lines, I wasn't going to book that part So I had to dip into Marlon Brando's fucking tools Marlon Brando didn't reach shit. He put those signs on you. So you felt more organic But it wasn't even that it was Know who your character is. I could tell you to go fucking mother 18 different ways Right, right. So it's the same thing You have to just learn not the words, but what he's trying to say in that You don't need the words the words are bullshit. What is this guy trying to say in that? Yeah, you take some of the sentences that he's saying, but you slow it down And that's what he did in that scene when he tells everybody if my son should hang by a bolt the lightning You then I'll Marlon Brando in the hotel scene. That's a beautiful fucking scene if you love that shit like I do All those motherfuckers were orange signs You've seen the behind the scenes of that So he the the their words the script was on papers. So do vow is sitting across from him with a billboard That's hilarious that boss was sitting across and you see him like he just look up And that I will not forgive and he'd take another pause and look at
another cue card and because he wanted it to be organic. He didn't want it to sound like those fucking lines just right or wrote. Right. And that's for everything. If you know the character, I know the character. I know me. See? Everybody had science though. That is really crazy. But it worked. Did it work? In the Godfather, did it work? Okay. So go fuck yourself. It was watching this thing where they were very skeptical. Imagine setting your makeup. Then forgetting it's even theirs. Meet new groupie setting mist from Mabelie, New York. Zelda mist technology locks in your look for up to 24 hours with flexible all day comfy grip. Just plump, dewy, hydrated skin. That still feels like your skin. Try new groupie setting mist from Mabelie New York. Maybe it's Mabelie. About him playing. Or did you see the Sony thing? Yeah. The Sony series. Very good. Yeah. Very good. Yeah. Wouldn't it interesting to imagine skeptical about Marlon Brando playing the Godfather? Well, brother, he had shot a movie, butony on the bounty and they went down there and the motherfucker fucked that chick and he wasn't even directing anymore. He was in a hut. He gave like the AD, the camera. You didn't hear about that. Yeah. That's a huge story. That's a poplip now, right? No. And then a poplip now. He went to a meeting. They gave him all this loot and they told me he got a show of 180. Like you're supposed to be green to right. Right. He showed up 400. Well, that's why they kept him in the dark, right? They kept him in the dark and he shaked his black shirt. Yeah. He didn't give a fuck. He did it however. And that's why they hated him. But at the same time, you got to love the motherfucker because it's working. Yeah. Well, it was authentic. Right? Yeah. That Apple TV show was very interesting. It was very. And I met that dude. Remember, he created the longest yard. How ruddy did the longest yard from scratch? When he did the Godfather, I think he didn't take two and he went to do the longest yard. He loved it. So he created the longest yard. So when we shot our longest yard, he was very Friday for his little chakipoo. Big motherfucker. Big dude, dog. Good dude. Big hands and shit. We just talked about stuff. Good dude. So I got it. Like that motherfucker. You know, Pete, run you. And then I think he did something else after that. Look at the movie. See that. Look at the movie. See the Jamie. When you got a minute, Paul Rudy's films. What was the other question that I asked you earlier? About I asked you to look something up. Yes. Oh my. Yes. Oh my. Yeah. That's what it is. What radio station? Is he still doing it? Yeah, it says he currently is. He currently is still. Look at that. We got to call him. I think he fought recently. I think he had a fight like within the last couple of years. Did he? This says 2017 for MMA Box, Baronuckle Boxing in 2023. That's it. Yeah. 104 of his Baronuckle fights. Yeah. Baronuckle fighting. Dude's a DJ. UFC veteran. It's a fuck it. Let's get some Baronuckle fights. Fucking great. It's that. You could DJ and then go fight somebody. Crazy. Yeah. And that's life, man. That's life. That's worth living. You got your money. You get your money's work. Yeah. You want to sit at home, be sedentary, whatever. Live like, you know, watching TV and you're scared. They're going to bomb you. You're done. You got to keep fucking living. That's what, you know, yeah, you got to do things. That's the thing about life. You got to do things. Too many people just sit around wanting to do things and not doing anything. It's hard to get moving though. That's what a lot of people find. They find it's hard to like go out to that club for that first open mic. Step into that gym the first time. Like D-Rod. Daniel Rodriguez. Did you see that podcast? We talked about how we got arrested in Tijuana. You know D-Rod from the UFC. Yeah. So D-Rod beats Kevin Holland, right? Goes to San Diego, celebrate and his boys like, let's go to Tijuana. Fuck yeah, let's go to Tijuana. Just go to drink. Have a good time. It just won a huge fight. Top 15 UFC welterweight has an ounce of weed in his bag. He thinks well, weed's legal in California, weed's decriminalized in Mexico. Who cares? Maybe I'll bribe somebody. I'll get out of this. It's a federal offense to bring weed in. Even though weed's decriminalized in Mexico, it's not for visitors. It's only for Mexican citizens. Yeah, bro. How do you got out of that one? Well, one of the things he had to do is become a Mexican citizen. So he's got dual citizenship now. Yeah. He was in jail for fucking eight months, man. Oh my God. Yeah. He was just training in jail. He looks great. He looks great now. But when he got out, he was, he's like, I had no protein. So I'm in there working out every day with fucking eating noodles and potato chips. No protein. No protein. And so he got real thin. Like he showed a photo of him like the day he got out. I mean, his mother fucker was training every day twice a day in jail. He's like, I'm going to make the most out of this. But it's, he has no food. The food's terrible. So his body is wasted away. I think I used to get broke. He couldn't. He asked. He tried to get it. Yeah. He said, you get girls. He get all these different things. He goes, he couldn't get fucking good food in Mexico, in Mexico. Yeah. And he was a cellmate with a cartel guy. The cartel guy took care of him. The cartel guy recognized him. We'll take care of you. Hang on with us. And he just said, I'm just keep my nose down. Just train. But he said he got a bunch of guys training with them because they, they were inspired. They're like, fuck yeah. Let's train with deep rot. So he had all these guys in there. He said some of them were fucking talented. But prison's fun. I don't give a fuck. Well, anybody tells you once you get to your destination and you meet your homies and you create a little thing. It's like anything else. We just can't step out the walls. But you make it happen. You know, I laughed a lot in that, bro. I laughed that you did because nobody's funny in prison and black people. I don't give a fuck what they tell you. They're the true kings of the prison system. And I had the two best. I was, I had the two best. And you know, sometimes that's what you first did stand up, right? Hmm. First did stand up just for the inmates. Yeah. Why did they have to go night? They just talk some shit during the movies. They were going, this movie sucks. They'd be like pt109. You know, we don't want to see fucking Kennedy in a movie. Get up there, cue, but and I would just go up there and fuck around. And it, it was nothing that was, I ever thought about anything like that. You said something before, thinking about the first time you went to that open mic. Boy, was that scary for me? Terrified. Took me eight months. I was such a pussy. I would call comedy works in Denver every week and every week I'd cancel. There we did. I was three minutes, but I don't feel good. And then my ex-wife got blessed as much as I hated. She heard me on the phone and she asked for mother to babysit. And she drove me down. And I got out and said, I'm going to be getting off that stage going, how am I going to do this? I'm married with a kid in three months later. She came home. I was like, you're a loser. I don't want to be married to you no more. But yes. Holy fuck. You just did me fucking solid. Then she did me shitty afterward. But the point is she at least got me to that open mic. So I have to be grateful for something that she did, you know? It's the, the first steps, the hard one. What I was saying about D-Rod, like the first time he ever went to the gym, his girlfriend got him a membership. She was like, he's, because he drove by it a bunch of times. He thought about training, never went in. You know, had a bunch of street fights, never went in. He's like, I think I could do that. And then finally, she's like, look, I got your present. I got your membership. Hold that though. Can I go pee real quick? We're at the two hour mark. We'll be right back. We'll be right back with, I got to go pee. And we're back. That was a tremendous pee. Oh my god. Is the worst is we try to concentrate and you have to piss. No, that's the worst. You can't. That's fucking worse. You have to drive and shit. And I'm to an age. I just pull over. Yeah. I weigh whatever I pour open up the both doors. I make believe I'm looking for something. And that dick is out peeing. Like I pee on the little leaf field. And I like, I have to search it. He gave me a handicap spark. And I'm living like a doctor. You don't know what life is until you have a handicap park. And you just pull right up. It's always a spot always. Yeah. Like, put me away. When I got in the mail dog, I was happier. That made me so happy. Fuck walking when I go to events now in Philadelphia. I just pull up and shit. Put a neck brace on. Walk out and shit. Oh, it's been beautiful, Joe. What do you have to do to get one else? The doctor. That's it. So the doctor was like, Oh, do you have it after surgery? I get a fee for six months. And then he goes, hold on one second. He went online. He's like, go, you qualify for everything. You got everything on this list, everything. Go. And they gave it to me for fucking like three years. Oh, nice. Yeah. I fucking. Oh, tremendous, Joe. How does it feel right now? You're all right. Yeah. It feels okay. I just listen. What happens is you do something every week. Like the second week, I went third week. I went a couple weeks. I went boxing. And it was good for like three times. And one day I went and I had a plan 24, five minutes, eight rounds on the bag or the speed bag. But I do the bags and I alternate the bags. Sure enough, round number six, one of the guys comes on. He goes, Joey, let's hit the mits. I'm excited. You know, he's a young guy. Let's do it. I left and my fucking leg blew up from that right punch to cross because everything won't walk into it. You're also moving around. You move around. So I said, fuck it. Now I got to stand in front of of the bag. So I learned my lesson. And then last week I went to PT and that motherfucker had me. I mean, I love him. But TJ, this motherfucker had me doing deadlifts and wall squats with a thing where you're waiting on the back. So it's all just a strength in the
muscles back after you have to stretch yeah but I prepped I listened to you guys I you know I did everything I could before the surgery that's what made it easier made a lot easier I call a drag toy I was doing shit in five days I didn't have a cane no more you know I was done I started driving at eight days not because I couldn't but because I was sick and tired of my wife driving me places and I got a you know arguing on the right hand of links no problem yeah like a mother fucking wow that's crazy there's the right foot which is the accelerated brake combo so yeah but yeah I was out of the house you know the pain pills were done after eight days then I had to bring them back for PT they were fucking killing me after PT so after PT you pop long go home put ice on it rub it down with the cream and stay off it for an hour or two but then at night I take a walk around the neighborhood you could you're trying to strengthen this shit right right you know we're talking about outside let's let's say you're in a hospital for five days and you eat cereal for five fucking days you gain weight your muscle breaks down and goes away like five days stay in an hospital because fucking kill you just because again there's not that much protein you're not getting a 150 grams of protein at that and you're not moving and you're not moving so that's the big one I prepped for the surgery I took all the supplements ways to well tell me everything best Marine I took shit my fucking piss is like gloves in the dark at night purple yellow it's fucking amazing I did all my PT's all my BPC's 157 all my TB 500 I did them for fucking to the T like they told me to and you know listen I'm 63 and it's a 63 year old me so I don't expect to be in the UFC fighting no guarantee next week but I could walk around and enjoy life with no fucking pain or no it's not pain it's like you always have an issue you know it yeah you always have that thing with your knees sometimes it sticks well then you gotta do simple shit you gotta get your piece of paper put on the floor and just roll your heel back and forth 20 times and do kicks when you're sitting around all those things help the knee you get that band and you put it on your leg and you just straighten out your leg I do that at home this is shit I do at home you know instead of watching TV it takes 15 fucking minutes 15 fucking minutes of your time and I got the bull worker they sent me a bull worker what's that the thing I told you last time about it's isometric shit oh okay so I did the bull work right at the delus at the bull work and now I'm fucked because I don't know how to change the strings so I got to learn how to fucking change the strings but that's all it was it was preparing for the surgery right you can't just go in there and not strengthen the little muscles around the area yeah that's it yeah you gotta do something it's very important especially if you're gonna go into surgery I know a lot of people that have had knee surgery and didn't do that and they won't go to PT they say you don't go to PT what the fuck is well with you yeah that's they came listen I had the surgery Thursday with my husband knocking Friday fucking afternoon I was home Friday from the hospital and they said they're coming over today mother fuck had me going up and downstairs walking outside with the cane getting in out of the tub he was I don't even have a tub I have a walking child but he was like I'm gonna do everything with you so it was pretty fucking like I said this surgery was a lot better the company that I did business with was a lot better last time I did a center state that's like a medical network in New Jersey not bad to have a great facility there but you know when I went to do the surgery my hacky pump just said when you go talk to that guy before the day before the surgery ask him about the sanitary conditions at the hospital so in that well I said hey what's the sanitary conditions at the hospital he's like ah you hear rumors and then when I went for the surgery they prepped me up they gave me everything they gave me the IV they were right about to do that thing and you know I back and he said when I'm doing the surgery I don't agree with the sanitary I was pissed but I'm like happy I could end up doctor didn't agree with the sanitary conditions and he came out and said no no not today we'll do it next we got a different hospital what yeah that's correct so would it where people getting mercer or something something that got mercer in there and they're like no everybody was telling me be careful with the mercer in that hospital mercer's fucking terrifying but the funny thing was he gave me a 20 milligram oxygen which they never gave you that's a strong motherfucker I forgot I took it remember I told you yeah I forgot I'm gonna Chinese restaurant yelling you know what the fuck is wrong with me oh shit I took that 20 I was fucked away I was on that thing so they give it to you before the surgery yeah just one of the precaution they did that the precaution yeah precaution whatever the fucking so you don't wake up in the middle of surgery yelling the fucking scream on like a pussy they do that the epidural the epidural was tough because I felt it in my nut sack like they give you a couple shots and one of them shots made me actually go like this because I felt it on the bottom towards the end of the nut sack not on me potatoes part but towards the end close to the muffler I was like this is not well done what is the thing they do I saw this video online about it it's like I think it's called nerve ablation I might be making that up but they they literally like cut the nerves off when people have back pain like some people with back pain it's like they're in constant nerve pain and they were showing how they just snip the nerves and I was like well wait wait a minute could is that hinder your movement like what is what happens there is this it yeah so what is that radio frequency ablation for back pain management what does it mean like what is that what do they do because the way I was looking at online I'm like it looks like they just cut the nerves a minimally invasive outpatient procedure uses heat to intentionally damage nerves carrying pain signals from the spine to the brain primarily provides long lasting relief for chronic back pain caused by arthritis or facet joint degeneration wow but does that does that mean your back just keeps getting worse but you don't feel it what happens when you do that duration or back please the procedure typically takes 30 60 minutes you could usually go home the same day pain relief is not immediate often takes one to three weeks for the nerve to fully settle relief typically lasts anywhere from six to 12 months although it can last for several years for some patients are the nerves permanently destroyed no the nerves regenerate over time when the nerve grows back your pain may return but the procedure can be repeated was the recovery and risks was the risks complications are rare but include infection bleeding at the insertion site temporary numbness or skin irritation normal stuff huh interesting pain that's nuts man just shut off the pain you kind of want to know if it hurts though no I would imagine like you're doing more damage if you're if it hurts right I call it as long you're numbing it right and then it keeps getting worse but you don't feel well especially cortisone with cortisone you can only do that so many times for like joints like it can degrade tendons and stuff because some people their knuckle has they just keep getting cortisone shots next thing you know your shoulder falls apart you don't know that's the worst thing yeah you can tear tear that's what they'll let you do if you let them so this is what I'm saying unless you check out what opt listen this 2026 man I'm scared of needles and I tell you half my life I fucked up because I was scared of needles if I would have just I don't know what it was I just scared of needles now I fucking take a needle wherever the fuck you want to give it to you know what I'm saying like now you can shoot me when I'm standing up I don't once you get used to doing peptides needles yeah and those just die about a needle they don't do fucking good to stop taking medicine if you don't want to know that makes sense so if you're in pain anyway yeah so a success rate is 70 to 85 percent it's most stressful when the procedure targets the medial branch nerves responsible for facet joint arthritis success typically refined defined as 50 percent or greater reduction lower back pain better physical function reduced need for pain medication that's big because some people they're just to fucking especially back stuff some people are just in agony every day they wake up and they just in agony and it's a long road back you know to getting if you have back pain it's a long road to heal that shit and you got to be very very smart about it and you got to stretch that's one thing that a lot of people don't like to do a lot of lower back pain you a lot of that is just everything's tight and you can stretch and relieve a lot of that shit a lot of that yoga coming in and you don't go anymore I do a lot of yoga things though yeah I have it yeah we actually have a yoga room in the studio I've never used it we got a heated room we could crank that fucker up to 105 degrees until you know the real life I tell you what else I did after the surgery that worked hyperbaric chamber oh yeah that's big I did that twice a week I still got six recovery recovery that's fantastic my oxygen levels are always low Joe I got to figure I got to talk the ways to out of March every morning I wake up 88 percent you know I'm always in the red zone I gotta because I think lack of oxygen is helping me burn fat and a lot of this shit my oxygen is at 88 some days any fucking five why would that help you burn fat because you need oxygen to do everything you need oxygen for a fucking fire so if you have low oxygen you burn fat how can you recuperate how can you fully recuperate no oxygen in your fucking I think I don't know I'm not sure that's correct but I think that the more you exercise the more you're going to get oxygen in your system for
Sure but once the barric paint chamber will help but once you're like fully healed up and you can Really exercise on a regular basis. It'll get back to normal Not because I do breath exercise every morning I have to do you have to breathe through your nose like ten times and then hold it and then I take the What do they think is causing it the low oxygen? They don't know. They don't know nothing They don't know nothing. They don't want to find out nothing But I'll take the cord and the clip that you put on your finger. Uh-huh. I'll put on my hair. It gives you a better read What's more accurate so far the ear for me. I lend that from an old Filipino lady in the hospital. She had all the tricks So I do that. I test it You know when I wake up in the morning I have it. I check my blood pressure like twice a day It's the best in spending 20 fucking years. I think some of those fit bits can do that shit now. Can they do that? Do they measure oxygen levels? So there's some of those really advanced wearable devices can measure oxygen levels too now, I think But this is that real? Yeah, yeah, they all do. They all do that's part of the deal. They measure your Heart rate heart rate variable like those wearables like the wrist stuff. Yeah. Oh really? So I'll tell you what I got in mind. I got The fucking the mornings it tells you when you wear a whoop. Yeah, what does that do test oxygen levels? No It has respiratory rate. I gotta get back on the whoop. It's got I see use it all the time They've gotten they've gotten even better. Yeah, they could this one is a lot better my heart rate is good today My oxygen is 91 cuz I'm here with you then my skin temperatures minus one. So it takes all that shit I My problem with wearables is all these tattoos so like this Okay, it's reading it now. This reads my heart rate. This is a garment. It reads my heart rate. Some time now it's not Like it doesn't read through the tattoos very well. I have to like move it around That's fucking insane. Yeah, that's fucking insane. Can't read through the tattoos Because it's the inks in the way doesn't you know, it's it's literally using some sort of a visual System it's like it's light like a look at the back of the watch There's a there's like a light back there See yeah, I understand that is flashing or veins and then it somehow or another gets information from that and that's how it tells you that the same thing Yeah, so the problem is all these tattoos I thought about like removing my tattoos just around the whole the circle or the watch goes Just like go get it lasered. I might do it Cuz I don't see that anyway. I'm always I always have a watch on and so like now That's speaking about you know, burning your nerves and all that shit and that thing that I'm one year I had a fun. I still got a fun guy toenail But I had the really bad fun guy toenail and I saw a thing in group on for a company in studio city That blowtorch that with heat for successions. They kill the fungus. Yeah, no, it never worked But I went anyway the lady would put like a mask on And she look at my tone like you would see a fucking and as she was burning it you could smell the fungus Burning it smells like dead fucking assholes And she would be ill and I would ask a question so she'd have to pull the mask Take a whiff of this fucking fun guy toenail Oh, there's times I buff it out myself now cuz nobody'll buff it out for me Like I can't take it to a Chinese woman. They'll lose that mind. Can you put like anti fungus cream on it? I put everything on it. It's too deep. It just fungus runs deep. This is This is the fungus. I brought back from Cuba and it's getting fucking pops up from time to time I get under my tit like it just the fungus just grows. I don't know what I have to eat like some days I eat something and then backfires and I get all these fungus marks. I get all itching shit But this bitch burnt that toe for six weeks and every week I'll ask him more creepy questions She would have to take that mask off and smell that fungus Dog it was horrible. She would walk out. She closed the door like I was like nope And the thing never works. She never burned me once But she was serious with that blowtorch It didn't work. No, it did not that I tell you the fungus is too deep so To get rid of that you have to do a liver test To see how strong because the zapping is fucking hard on your body and it's really hard on your liver So my liver didn't cut it So they can't zap me with that medication Did you hear about that lady who had Alzheimer's? She couldn't talk anymore. They gave her five grams of psilocybin mushrooms and she's singing opera now Also, then she came back. It's I'm already talking They said she hadn't talked in a long time She could remember things I know for a fact I got a good buddy of mine that studied that was his childhood thing Every time you smoke crack you should have seen that motherfucker not a strut In there he talks to you straight Paul you know Paul Stammett's the mushroom expert. He's been on his podcast He's an illegitimate my college just like a scientist He had a horrible stutter when he was a kid took 10 grams Gone gone. It's unreal. People will still go on that mushroom is a deadly they're gonna kill you flock to you Isn't that crazy? You need to see the devil every once in a while And that's what people don't they don't see the downside because he knows mushrooms in time to time makes you step out like THC does and makes you look at yourself And make like a judgment call on what the fuck you're doing with your life That's what you're like you chewing that fucking zin and talk about the same time. Yeah, I don't know I don't have big enough fucking gums, I guess. I don't know. Don't stay there Yeah, it's the real problem is that it's illegal. You know what they should do with that You know what they did with Colorado with 39% tax make mushrooms a hundred percent Taxed a hundred percent will still buy um people still buy make illegal tax at a hundred percent No much fucking money they would generate and I guarantee you Well, I was gonna say people wouldn't be doing more mushrooms, but they definitely would If you but it being good forever. Listen, I'm gonna have stalls people from mushrooms is the taste Most people put it in the grinder and then they put it in capsules and they do it that way all different things That should not be a hurdle in the way you told me you were gonna get that property a couple years ago, which you didn't get I thought you were gonna go to mushrooms out there I get somebody to set it up and Joe Rogan's mushrooms. What I would never do your fucking recipe like no That's that's not legal. I would Not actually. It's not legal in federally. That's the problem I mean, this is part of what Trump is trying to change with this psychedelic act So all that shit was made illegal in 1970. It was their Nixon administration The controls substances act if that hadn't happened in 1970 We'll be living in a better world Like legitimately we would be living in a better world You'd have way more people having access to this stuff way more people that could get over whatever the fuck Their hurdle is whatever problem they have whatever it is Not for everybody. There's a lot of people that shouldn't do it There's a lot of people that just gets a frenic and that they just need one mushroom trip and they're gone They're never coming back. There's a lot of people that are hanging on. They're hanging on and one edible One mushroom trip one one one meeting with the devil and they never come back That's true, but those people were already fucked That's the problem but for the rest of us for the rest of the world Which is like most things like some people eat a Brazil nut. They're dead right some people eat peanuts and they're dead They have a deadly allergy to peanuts. I could eat peanuts all day long Can you look up how many people die a year from fucking peanuts? It's quite a few. Come on. Yeah, it's quite a few. It's kind of shocking Some it's why. Well, here's the really crazy thing A lot of people think it has to do with vaccines They think this is Brett Weinstein's proposal is that when you take that vaccine So there's aluminum in the vaccine that's an irritant right and this is what fires up your immune system And then there's the dead virus or your body develops these anti-past For annually give me a people well a lot of people no Four people four people talk about in the world. How many people die about it's four in the world. There's none of them die anywhere else Food allergies in general responsible about a hundred deaths Yeah This is all made up white people shit. Well, there's a few people though They just avoid the peanuts, but there are people that if they get peanuts, they'll die Brett Weinstein thinks it has to do with eating peanuts right after you've been vaccinated and that something I don't know if he's right, but something about your body reacting At least the reason why your body creates this antibody to the dead vac the dead viruses in the vaccine You know if you give someone whatever it is any figure out whatever the disease is you have a dead virus And then you have this irritant and the so the two of them together your body reacts to this aluminum and it used to be Um, what is the other shit they don't put in it there was Mercury ethyl mercury and methyl mercury the two different types of mercury they've tried to do that in vaccines But there's problems with that too obviously mercury's toxic so is aluminum But he thinks that if you have aluminum from this vaccine and you're in contact with other things at the same time You could develop an analogy for those things whether it's wheat gluten whether it's animals Whatever it is like it's possible he believes to develop an allergy When you get vaccinated and he thinks that's with the rise in vaccines and the rise in food allergies He thinks those are connected know me actually I don't know if he's right If you went to your great your grandfather in Newark He's an immigrant and came over and you told me you had a peanut allergy. How many times are you smacking the fucking thing?
- Well, he wasn't a violent man, he was very kind. - But still, he told me Joe, what the fuck, being a bitch. - He would make fun of it. - I grew up on pine nuts. - I grew up on pine nuts every fucking day. Do pine nuts, I'm like, I was laid to maple syrup. - Well, the idea of being allergic to bread back then was preposterous. First of all, he would get bread like every two days. They would go down to the local Italian bakery and buy Italian bread. It's the only bread everybody ate in the house. It's so funny, like, I didn't even appreciate it back then. Like, when I'd have a peanut butter and jelly sandwich, I'd be like, why don't they give it to me on this bullsh*t thick bread, 'cause you gotta cut the bread, you know? I'd be like, well, give me some fucking white bread, like a real person. Well, some wonder bread, that's what I wanted. When you're a kid, you want wonder bread. - I love wonder bread. - Peanut butter and jelly sandwich, I'd get whole wheat. I'd be like, what is this whole sh*t? - I think it'll be in prison. - What is this terrible fucking sh*tty brand-filled wheat with all the fucking chunks of wheat that's in it? Get the fuck out of here with your whole wheat bread. I hated it. Now I love it. Now, it's the only, like, if I see, like, regular white bread, I'm like, ugh, never even- - Let me show you this. That bread that your grandfather was getting. - Yeah. - In whole bulk, and then Newark. - Newark. - Yeah. - Who blocks away? They were all school Italian people. - Yep. - They made everything in the '70s and '60s, but I'll all the sh*t that's in now. - I remember the bags. - Yeah. - White paper bags. - White paper bags. - Yeah, and the bread times were great. - And the bread times were great. - And the fucking great. - With pasta when you dip it in the pasta sauce. - Oh my god, so good with butter, you put butter on that bread, and you dip it in that pasta sauce, holy sh*t. - Don't have to stop eating mushrooms. - Great. That's my favorite dish. Mosses with spicy, with medium. - Yeah, because you need a loaf of bread. I can't, my body can't fucking do that. - Especially with the red sauce. - Oh. - You know, a loaf of bread. - Oh, I'll go through the whole of it. - With the butter, with the olive oil, with the bread. - You need all that sh*t. - I said, I can't eat mussels no more. I love mussels. I got a rooties, I got some mussels. They're big. Fucking chick, a six, looks like a six-foot woman's clit. They're that f*cking big, the mussels. You think I'm kidding ya? These f*cking clit mussels. When I go to other restaurants, you get those little mussels and you got a couple big ones. No, no, no. They give you nine big, chick, gorilla, raised f*cking pussy clits, and they're huge. And they put little sauce on it. So good. - Oh my god. Makes me go f*cking hell. - There was a time place that I used to go to in my L.A., Thai food, and they had mussels and a big f*cking spicy mussels. They were huge. So good. Oh. - Not the Thai place Eddie took me to. The one next to the f*cking tent planted on Le Bréa. - Oh yeah. - I went in there with Eddie one night, and I already ate Thai food. Eddie took a long, I'll buy ya lunch. I'm broke. - You don't like Thai food? - I went in there, there was ants on the wall. (laughing) I'm like, what the f*ck? But I like the one that you took your shoes off. They had the best shrimp pate in the country. You took your shoes off. - Yeah, there's one on sunset right across the comic book store. - Toy. - Toy. - Oh, toy tie. - Toy tie. - Yeah. - I'm a place legit. - It's a very good place. - The best place I ever was, what's the place next to the life factory? Green Blastell? - Green Blastell. - That was a great joint. - Until I tell you this story, I'm in there with Ralphie May one day. And he gets a roast beef sandwich. (laughing) And he's eating the roast beef, and I can see the ants on his arm. And he opens it up and his ants all of a sandwich. Listen to me, call the waiter. The waiter still charges a half a sandwich. - Yeah, that's Larry. - He's like, I ain't paying shit. This motherfucker had ants on it. I didn't even eat the other one. The ants were on his fucking arm, Joe. - They weren't in the sandwich? - They weren't the sandwich, too. - Oh, so it was just all over the place. - We're all over the place. - Green Blastell? - Green Blastell, which I'll still eat that. I don't even think it's that. - Wait, what was that? I only ate there a few times, which is weird because it was right next door to the life factory. It was good, too. - I kind of stopped going to the life factory after a certain point. It was a certain point in the 2000s, where I'm like, I think I'm done with this place. And I was mostly at the store. - Yeah, I liked the life factory. It was like the improv. I love the improv still. I always did the improv still. But the life factory to me was like, there was something about it that was like sterile. There was something about it. It was not a bad thing, but it was like very much like a lot of people got TV deals out of the life. - That was the big thing about the life factory. - It was a, the store was the dream. The life factory was nice and everything, but it was also like, remember Scott Day? He would discourage you from going to the life factory. He's like, you're a comedy store comic, you know, life factory to come. - Oh yeah. - When you listen, man, I gotta go up everywhere. I can't, I'm developing. I can't be just limiting myself to what was-- - But after a while, you're like, I developed better at the store. - Well, this thing about the store, too. You got three totally different environments. You got the belly room environment, which is like very intimate, very small, 70 people. And then you got the OR, which is the gritty. That's the psychopaths at 11.30 on a fucking Tuesday night. And then you got the main room, which is the big show. There was so much opportunity. - I fucking always hated the main room 'til the last five years I was there. I just couldn't get the formula for it. But the original room, I knew it like everything. - The original room, you're locked into a living room. - You're locked into it. And yes, and then the panel and the whole fucking thing. - The main room was big, big stage, big crowd. It was big ceiling, everything was big. It was different. It was a different kind of a show. - Remember the first time I showcased for Jamie is like, "Man, what are you doing here?" You belong in Las Vegas, man, in a show room. You're not an LA comic, I don't know. - That's hilarious. Jamie always had the craziest ideas for people. - But he, at the end, he was a really good guy. At the end of the day, he really tried hard. - Well, he loved comedy. - Yeah, he loved comedy. All those people were very nice. You know, I just went to Nashville for the comedy festival. And I ended up doing the Old Osprey. You know, that theater there. What's the name of the theater? - Randal Opera. - Yeah. - And it was great. But the great thing about that, that everybody from the improv is there last night. I saw people that were there for 25 years. And we just would drop in stories. Aaron, the guy Hartman, Hartman looks great. He's a big peptide guy, big everything guy. He was a Nashville, Joel from Florida. You know, when you get to see those guys, and you're like, "Wow, we've been in this shit together." - For Aaron. - Like, I told Aaron, I met Aaron in Irvine. Then she came to Hollywood. And I was like psych, 'cause she gave us an 11 o'clock show. And she was pregnant. She was hot. She used to wear the farmer, those things. - Overalls? - The overalls. Oh, she was so hot. I still tell them, when I talk to her, I always tell her. Aaron, you sexy savage, I always fuckin' torment her. But it was really nice to see them. And everything, you know, Hartman told the story when I told him I was gonna bang his head off the wall. You know, just craziness that, look at us now. We're all in there, having a great time. 20 years ago, we were always at war with one of you guys. We cursed too much. You know, we were talking about when I got fired with Pablo. And then he found out I wasn't doing coke and he felt really bad, you know, so it was, it was just great to see what we've been through together. And now, after everything, you're like, fuck. I was there the fuckin' night Joe started. - That was in Miami, right? - That was in Miami, 98. - Yeah. - New years of '99. - That's crazy. - And Madonna came in with Chris fuckin' Rock. - Wow. - And to watch somebody in New Year's Eve, I forget who the fuck it was. But yeah, that's, you look at those people, you're like, we took the ride, we were kids. - We were fuckin' kids together. - And also, you have to think, like, imagine having to employ you. Imagine being a businessman and you gotta employ you in 98. God bless 'em. - Not good. (laughs) - God bless 'em. - Don't I remember the improv really liked me and I fucked 'em over in like, 2007. - Who was the guy, the original guy, a cook enough grove? The guy who liked the party. - I forget his name now, Rich Jeff. Give me a minute. - Yeah. - Give me a minute. - The original guy. - Yeah, crazy. - Crazy. - It was a fun guy. - Really fun. He's from Cleveland. He lived in Cleveland. - Like the party. - And his wife hit the lottery for a million of them. - People didn't realize how nutty cook enough grove was. That was the nuttiest improv. That improv, we would go out afterwards and have Cuban coffee and he'd Cuban sandwiches. - I thought two o'clock in the morning. - No, we used to go to that new stand, the new stand. - Yeah. - It was open 'til five and it closed for an hour. - We used to hear you tell stories. - Yeah. - And you could drink 'til all night. - Oh yeah. - So they closed from five to six, but whatever booze you're having the table, you could keep. So you would take, give me like eight beers. And then they would open up again at six and you're right there. - Hey! - They closed for one hour. - Oh. - 'Cause five in the morning. (laughs) - I remember one night, you were on Conan O'Brien. This is '97. - Right? - No. You did somebody's late show. - Okay. - It was the week that our friend got shot. - Oh, that Hartman? - Hartman then. - You can't believe it, man. - Yeah, I'm just telling you that I don't know shit. Look up to date. When Hartman got shot, you were on that show. Like, you were with me all weekend, and I stayed, and then you went to New York to shoot that. And then that weekend, Hartman, you know. But I'll never forget, I was involved in the threesome when you were on that talk show. (laughs) And I'm, it's a chubby chick, and a hot chick, and we're snortin' coke, and I'm tryin' to get asked, and I'm lookin' at you. I go, pull on, pull on NBC. So I go, watch y'all. I'm watching you as I'm tryin' to tackle these two animals. I'm like, who the fuck gonna believe this? Chubby chick got up. She's like, you didn't want to be with me anyway. You always wanted the hot chick and slammed the door. It was a full night. It was a full night talk. - Cocaine, dial. - But all that shit you see these people now, and you're like, bro, we all went through it together. Yeah, we all went through it together.
What a great fucking thing to have at this time in your life that we all, we're all here. You know? Fucking really nice, man. It makes you go, wow, this comedy life was worth every fucking penny I got into it. It's a fun ride when you look back and you think like imagine when you were first starting out, imagine that it would turn out this way. You've never imagined it. And then you look back like, what a fun ride, what an extraordinarily fun life. I'll never forget, you had a pen down from the beginning, I never even told you this. One of my friends, I got that way like January 97, and that summer like August. Nope. Nope. That's Cleveland Improv. I don't know if that's you on the one on Miami too. Oh, no, it was the manager. No worries though. Thank you very much. Will we talk? Something pinned down, manager. We were talking about, oh, never imagining that he looking back on this life, like when you first started, never imagine it turned out this way. You said something about me once, that was right. I wasn't on the podcast, but you were talking to something, you know, I remember when that guy first came on the scene, he was scary, he had less jacket and all this shit and he was fuck wild. You know, I just got to LA and I do a couple spots. The guy is that my first town coordinator at the Improv said to me, hey, would you like to work Irvine? And I go, yeah, he goes, I got an MC spot, go do it next week. My first time, I go down and I had a crazy girlfriend and then with all the teeth. Oh, yeah. And this motherfucking head chef comes up to me and her and he goes, hey, she's got the same mouth as Gina Davis, a nice cock suck of mouth. That was my first week I never. And at first I took it coming away and then after the show, I went up to him and I go, hey, man, what the fuck do you think you are saying something like that? He goes, what are you doing? If you go at me, you'll never work on Improv again. I just kicked him in the fucking stomach as hard as I could. They called me the next day, go, come on, man. I kicked him. I fell apart. All of a sudden he wasn't a tough guy. I don't know. I was just so pissed. How can you say that to somebody's fucking girlfriend to a face? I just fucking front kicked him and I hit him somewhere in the stomach. He was holding on. I'm calling an art man. Call a fucking art man. I don't give a fuck. I remember getting the car going, Joey, you can't let the old Joey get in the way, man. This is not good. You should've just walked away. But no, why would I walk away? Fuck that shit. That was the problem. A lot of people would walk away from that shit and you just lost. You just became a Hollywood asshole. When you say fuck you, they'll respect you fucking more, you know, and they did. They ended up giving me more work. So? Was that guy still there when you went back? No. He was like a cute cook that thought he was cute. Like a orange candy. He wasn't going to get smacked. I don't give a fuck who you are. I fucking kicked that motherfucker. I didn't give a fuck jack. I was so buck wild at the store in the beginning when I hit the kid in the head with a microphone. And then they came and got me a lohoya and I took the pool, the pool. Remember they had that pool table in lohoya, they had a bumper pool table in lohoya. So these guys kept threatening me. They were going to come game. So I got, I became fucking Chuck Norris and pulled a silence. I took all the pool balls and I put them in different places so I had to throw them at them as a weapon. Then I hit all the fucking pool cues. You ever see call this silence? That sense of gauw stole it from him in that fucking Bobby Loop on movie. But that was Chuck Norris when he was full of bag with both pool cues and hit you in the head with a shit and the pool hall with the Colombians. Dog and that motherfucker, I saw them. I was sitting outside the comedy, the lohoya storm and I had that little bench facing the Chinese restaurant. You don't remember lohoya no more and I saw them at the light and they made the turn and I took one of those balls and I kept it right here and they pulled up and took water pistols out. And I fucking took that ball and threw everything and hit that car and all of a sudden the fucking car went boom, these motherfuckers took off Jack. Code of silence. I remember this because this was like the first like real movie movie that like got respected by Chuck. It wasn't just a karate movie. It was a movie that was about like an undercover cop movie, right? Yeah. But against the Colombians. But it was the fighting part was just part of it. But this wasn't that it was, you know, it was just a karate movie like most of his other movies were just karate movies or, you know, they were kind of campy like missing an action. It was a lot of it based on the karate. This was, oh, we got it hit by the pool ball. Oh, they jump them. This is a terrible movie. This is terrible. This is terrible. I thought it meant it was the shit back then. So when you watch it now, you like, this is the cornea's fight seat of all time. These guys would overwhelm them. Listen, man, uh, good man, we're black Chuck Norris had a couple movies where he showed his shit. This was not one of them Walker Sheriff Marshall was not one of them, okay? With the wig. Don't push up still on channel 89. That wasn't him. I love Chuck Norris. But Chuck Norris made some good movies early on that were dark. That's why nobody talks about good and women black. What's the other one? The act of gun. Oh, yeah. You forget about all. Is this good, man? Good guys wear black. 1978. Wow. How many fucking people did this guy get into martial arts? Like how many people? Because of Chuck Norris movies wind up doing martial arts. Oh, fucking shit load. I got into tanks who know because of him. Because he was one of the first tanks who know, guys, and he split. He made his own thing or whatever the fuck. So it's kind of amazing when you think about how many karate guys didn't make it. Like how many guys didn't become karate movie stars and Chuck Norris did. Like how many of them were there? How many karate guys wanted to be movie stars and couldn't figure it out and he did. So I saw every martial arts film made in the 70s. Even with the black exploitation, the movie was called Three the Hard Way. Jim Brown, Jim Kelly, and another really good black look at them. Jim Kelly was trying to break into that thing. There was a lot of guys and then after Bruce Lee died, the whole thing opened up. Yeah. Jat Lai, Jat Lewis. Bruce Lai. Bruce Lai. You had all these fucking bruises and that was the end of it. But I was notorious. I want to see all those fucking movies growing up. Billy Jack. You don't remember Billy Jack? I remember Billy Jack. The Indian. Oh, yeah, I remember. I remember the black hat. I remember the whole day. On that side of your face, all that shit. They even had a white Mormon dude be of martial art. Everybody shiny, black, everybody played fucking Kung Fu, everybody. And that movie called a silence is Dennis Perinas, one of his first movies. Oh, really? Yeah, he's a sidekick in that movie. Fucking, you just, you know, people forget how many Kung Fu movies or martial art based movies they actually made in the 70s. Fucking unreal. Oh, yeah. I was getting sent here from China. It's like a kid porn. They were just sending it every weekend. Fucking Chinese people beating up on Chinese people jumping. Remember the more they got older, like by 70s, Bruce Lai and 73, by 76, there was movies that the guy had like a thing at gold and weighed like 10 to tons and he would throw it up the hill and then jump and catch it on top of the hill. Come on. Now you lost me. The one armed swordsman, you lost me, you know, like I just got one arm, you know. People just love those Kung Fu movies, they were completely ridiculous. And forget about Black people, recreate like, you know, when people talk about Bruce Lee, it was a sensational, cultural fucking phenomenon when he came. And the people that think about all the people he opened up to martial art movies and martial arts in general. I mean, Chuck Norris was the second half of it, you know, Bruce was the first, Chuck Norris was the second and I hate to admit it, UFC is the third big wave of that. You know, nobody goes to karate, I mean karate schools you got, it's the kids 10, they make them hit a paper, you know, they're going to jiu jitsu schools, they go on at school. So it's change, the culture is changed, you know, in 73 everybody went to Wing Chun Kung Fu. You taught judo, you became a Wing Chun dude now because you weren't going to get make no money off judo, nobody was doing judo back then. You had to go to Brooklyn to get sabote classes, numbers of vat, the French, you had to go to Brooklyn and those days New York had everything. But then when like our friend, the one who does the MMA podcast with you, Matt Sarah, Matt Sarah got into jiu jitsu, he would have to go from Long Island all the way to like close to Philadelphia. It'd be three hours on Sundays, jiu jitsu wasn't everywhere yet. When he got into it, he would have to travel. I think he told the story on his podcast, he would have to drive to Jersey just on Sundays, they just did jiu jitsu on Sundays because that's all that was available. Now, you got a jiu jitsu school on every fucking corner, who's that because of, that's because of UFC, man, it just blew it the fuck right, oh, so who knows, I may be wrong. No, I think you're right, for sure the UFC opened up Brazilian jiu jitsu, hoist gracy, hoist gracy winning the first UFC's that opened up Brazilian jiu jitsu all over the country. Shane, what the fuck is this? It was a completely, I mean, there was no Brazilian jiu jitsu in America. You never even talked about it. I did martial arts my whole life. I've never even heard of it. You heard of it, but I don't even know if I did it. It was so far off to you. I barely even paid attention to it. It was like, it could have been anything. And then all of a sudden the UFC came along and it's like, oh, yeah.
Oh my God, that's the thing that everybody needs to learn. That's what's wild now. It's like how many people trained martial arts in comparison to like 50 years ago? It's not, there's no comparison. There's way more people that know how to fight now than like ever before and ever before. - Or at least they know how to neutralize somebody. - Well, a lot of people are training now. - Wait, but there's no way more. - There's no way more people will learn to neutralize people. Anybody who studies Jiu-Jitsu ain't got a bullet. - Oh boy, you're getting a neutralize on the street. We're gonna do break your fucking shoulders on the street. They're trying to neutralize you. Hold you down, hey, take a breath, relax. Don't swing at me 'cause I'll break this fucking arm. - Did we see the video of Matt Sarah? I think it was in Atlantic City. And it might have been Vegas. Somewhere in a casino. Some drunk guy has caused problems and Matt winds up taking him down and mounting him until the cops come. He's just holding on to the guy. He's just sitting on the guy. Hold on, there it is. You guys swinging. Look at Matt. You've got a literal Brazilian Jiu-Jitsu world champion and he's just mounting you, laughing. Like, you think about picking on the wrong guy. (laughs) He's just holding on. I mean, the guy's completely helpless. I don't remember the whole story behind this. Look at the security guard coming. I was like, relax, I got this guy. - No, you and I both know Matt could name. Kick him in the face and get up and leave. - He could literally. - This is what I'm telling you. Jiu-Jitsu, that atmosphere doesn't teach you to do that. He just holds you down, go lay. - Well, he's not to the proof. - No, catch your breath. - He's laughing, he's a world champion. I mean, I don't know if he had been the UFC champion by that time, but you know. - What are you gonna do? Come all of somebody on the street and break their shoulder, now you have to live with him. - You're gonna go to jail. - You lose everything. - So, I know Jiu-Jitsu people take you down like their bounces. - Yeah. - They just neutralize you. - Mr. Knight before his Hall of Fame induction to this. (laughs) - Okay, so that's way past the time that he won the title. - Yeah, that's hilarious. - That's very funny, that poor guy. Imagine like knowing that guy could have killed you and he was just so nice, all he did was hold your wrists and sit on your chest for a while. - He was looking at me when he was on the boat having a good time. He was like, "Hey, somebody get me a water or something." - The guy's literally helpless. He has no fear whatsoever of that guy hurting him. You know, it's like a child. It's like your little child's having a temper tantrum. Like, come on. It's Matt Tera, it's funny. There's so many dummies out there. This is a part of the problem in this world. It's hard to get your shit together. So many people just stumble through life, just never getting their shit together. - It's one of my friends last night. She has like a cooking show on YouTube. She goes, "I have a stump doing it, Joey." He goes, "My mother would watch." And these people would say, like the weird is like, "You know, everything's showing me your touch, "show me your pussy, you can't cook bitch." (laughs) And you're like, "You know, how much longer am I gonna "take this shit for?" People are so horrible. - They're fucking horrible on the internet. You know, these are young girls looking good. It's like, Joey, I had a cancel the fucking thing. She was doing like a workout, a cooking thing. She goes, "Now I just play with my cats." That's it, and people love cats. Because that's it. But it's impossible. There's so many animals out there. - And they're out there and they don't give a fuck and they say shit. - It's also the zero consequences for saying horrible shit. - Yeah. - And they're trying to get a rise out of the other people in the comments too. So they're trying to say outrageous shit. So that other people react to it. So that you'll read it and you'll react to it. - It's the dumbest fucking thing ever. - It is. I was thinking this last night. It's a kind of crazy thought. But, you know, everyone is addicted right now to social media and addicted to going online and just addicted to content. You're constantly getting content. You're constantly interacting with your phone. And this is a very new thing, right? It's within the last 20 years. This has happened to people. This is like prepping us for what's coming next. We're gonna look back on these days and we're gonna realize, oh, the addictions to the phones, the addictions that's staring at the screens and checking your email and looking at YouTube and looking at Instagram and looking at Twitter. That's just preparing you for you being completely connected to electronics forever. This is like the early stages of it. I was thinking about it last night while I was watching this television show. I'm watching this crazy show. It's called From, have you seen this show? - No, no. - It's nuts. By the guys who made Lost, one of the dudes that's in Lost is the main star of it. It's fucking great show. Like really good show, like very unpredictable, twisted, just like Lost, like crazy show. About these people stuck in this town. They can't get out and it's impossible to get out. But I was thinking while I was watching this, I was like, why is everyone? 'Cause no one has a phone there and everyone's just locked into this place. I was like, your phone is preparing you. The addiction to our phones are preparing us to the next stage of what life is gonna be like as a person. This is just the gate. The phones are the gate. But what's coming next? You're gonna reminisce about the days of the phone. Oh, you remember when we had phones? We had to look things up. You had a little thing, you got to charge it. Remember when you had to charge it? That's how we're gonna be. We're moving into some weird new area. They're building these fucking data centers everywhere. And everyone's like, oh, the data center. Well, great. Like, what is that? What are you doing? Why are you building these things that need to be powered by nuclear reactors? Why are you building these things that are sucking up all the fucking water? Why are they putting these things out in the middle of the desert? Biggest fucking five-football field. Huge fucking giant buildings filled with computers. Like, what the fuck are we doing? And the gates is this goddamn phone. This phone is the gate. We're opening it up the door. It was killing kids. I'm gonna take it. My daughter can't watch a whole movie. They have no attention span. They're 40 minutes since she has to leave and then she'll start it from the next day. I had to watch Scarface them. You had her watch Scarface? Yeah, 'cause we watched, we do experimentals at the house. We did the fight club, we do all this shit. So she said that, how he's only watched the part when he shoots the brother-in-law. You know, that's the only part of it. It's always on when I come down. I go, I want to watch from the beginning. She enjoyed it for a little while. I went upstairs. After one scene, I'm there, I can't watch this again. She goes, I'll stay up. Two days later, my mother goes, did you see the review she wrote on it? No, no, she goes, take a look at it. She's like, I enjoyed the movie. I was a fan because it was Cuban-American, but then as the movie rolled down, I figured these Cubans don't know how to treat women. (laughing) She goes, they'd smack at 'em and she wouldn't do a stand-out. - Wait up for me, you fuck you. - She didn't fucking like that at all. She's like, I know my dad's Cuban, but Jesus Christ is so mean to their women. I'm like, do I act like that, you go, no, but. - That's okay. - Yeah, and she said she goes, that gave men a different fucking thing. I go, emergency, I was 40 fucking years ago. - Not only that, you dealing with the people that were the criminals of Cuba, that were kicked out of Cuba, that made their way to America. I like, this is not normal people. - No, no. And now they're about to let the second half out. - What, what are they doing to Cuba right now? - Well, they're not surviving. They don't have any power, no gasoline. It's funny because every couple of days, I get an algorithm which just promote in Cuban videos. People in Cuba, they had kids going to work out. Joe, they took them to this little place. Everything had papers on it. They did pull ups, set ups with the head. The pipes were broken. You gotta see these fucking kids. Doing full workouts, we wouldn't even look at their body weight workouts, you know? They talk and they go around viral and interview people and I don't know what this is doing. I don't know what this is doing because we're two years away from Cuba being legit. We're gonna go back down there after this whole thing goes or raw oil or whatever, whatever they decide. They can't get fuel from Venezuela. How long is it gonna take? I mean, they're not gonna be happy that they have a Starbucks in Cuba. - So what happened was, they were getting their oil from Venezuela, right? We took over Venezuela, we cut off their oil. - Cut them off. - And so what is the United States trying to do with Cuba right now? They're trying to get rid of the communist government? - They're trying to, well, they're gonna, they charge raw oil Castro with something recently. That's the beginning. This is gonna end up like more-- - This is Fidel's brothers. - You're gonna wake up one day and ABC news, get they are in Cuba, pulling people out. - It doesn't China and Russia have a relationship with Cuba is not a problem? - Not really because they're not paying their bills. That's why Cuba started. When they had Russia, Russia was fucking doing everything but then they need them no more and they cut them off. I think there's, they do small trades for sugar. - It is kind of crazy for the United States to have an enemy that's 90 minutes offshore in a boat. - Trump administration said on 2026, May 20th, indicted former Cuban president, raw oil Castro for murder based on the downing of two planes near the Cuban coastline in 1996, it killed four people. As a story of Latin American and US foreign policy, I believe the indictment may be the prelude to a direct US military action against Cuba. - This is the beginning. This is a cabinet young from UMass Amherst before Castro, the last US indictment of a Latin American leader occurred. In January of 2026, that's the Venezuela thing. Since January, US has ended the flow of Venezuelan oil to Cuba and has economic and military pressure to prevent other nations from trading with the island. Trump recently threatened a friendly takeover of Cuba. I believe what's missing from most recent analysis of this situation,
is the history of U.S. aggression against Cuba as essential context for understanding the Trump administration's recent escalations. But yeah, once they indict you, they come for you. It's just a matter of time. They just start in the country. And they'll come up with a solution. Here's your solution. There's a shooting. There's a shooting a tool in Cuba every night. Cuba's not getting. There's no power. There's no electricity. They have roaring vehicles. And that was yesterday. Earthquake. Yeah. Biggest one in 150 years. Yeah. So they're just fucking, they're doing everything they can. There was the biggest one in over 150 years. Oh my gosh. Yeah. So everything is looking, like right now, that's it. They can survive this. Fuck. So. So what happens to those people? They just wait this out or the United States. And we have saying it. No resources, no supplies. You got two things in Cuba. You have people that don't know. You never watch that 30 for 30 would all do K when they when the championship. And they said people in New York were throwing toilet paper. And the wife was grabbing it, saying in Cuba, this is gold. Why are you throwing away toilet paper? We have no toilet paper in Cuba. That's some mentality. So 50% of those people have been brainwashed to the where they, you know, every day there's a bullhorn. One of the us, but I feel at us, you know, when the communists, whatever they call each other. Yeah. Comrades. We're winning the war. We're getting close. You know, what do you mean I'm getting closer? I'm down to 118. I was walking around a 170. Are we getting closer to a victory? So they're getting sick of that shit. They say the bugs that land on you at night are fucking just atrocious. These, but you know, they have real fucking bugs on that island. Not to mention, they all have syphilis. Cubans have syphilis. I think half my fungi toenail is syphilis because it smells like it. You know what I'm saying, but on a fucking not joking thing, Cuba's got two weeks left, two weeks from today. And so you think they're going to invade? Yeah, they're going to invade, take, uh, take Raul out and then what do you got? You're going to install some new remember a couple months ago, there was a shooting in Cuba of a boat. You remember that, right? Right, Jamie, some people out there fishing and the Cuban Navy shot him like three months ago. Oh yeah, this is a big shoot. I don't know. They were investigating it. Cuba hands out weapons to citizens and tell them prepare for an invasion. Holy fuck. Holy fuck. That's June 7th. That's Sunday. Sunday. Holy what are we sorry? They're distributing weapons to citizens in fear of a US invasion. They reportedly started handing out weapons to civilians as the government urges population to prepare for a potential US invasion reports from South American publication, version final stated against the backdrop of the deployment of American military power near the island. The government of Havana began distributing weapons to citizens, officially urging them to prepare for an imminent foreign invasion. What if the citizens use that weapons to take over the country? Which they should do. That's what they fucking should do. Just call the fucking food risk. Start handing out guns to people. Like I said, man, all sudden your population is armed and you're telling them what to do and they don't have any money and you don't have any money either. Look, man, when I started doing okay, I contacted my sister. I offered her a free ticket out of Cuba money. Whenever I got happy is yours. You're my blood, you know. Right. I don't know if I can do that. Okay. Why don't we do this? We don't have flyy to Jersey. You go to your mother's grave. You go see where her boss was. Her way of life and then I take you back. She told me I can never do that because I'm married to one of the del's guys. I don't even want to go to any other state. So she was so brainless and out of that to that, she was still my sister, but I couldn't help her. Well, she's used to what you're used to. Yeah, and that's taking the big chance of coming to America and not knowing where you're going to eat and how you're going to live and where you're going to get money. Are you going to work? They got programs for all those people. They got churches. Cuban people have churches. They're Catholics. Is there also a thing where you, if you leave Cuba, I think there's it's a cleaner path to get to become a United States citizen who you're fleeing. Yes, it's easier. I think so. Something like that. If you're fleeing for a community or a dictatorship, fuck dude. It's just like, what are they going to do about that? And then you got to, we're talking about Vegas. Who's going to happen Vegas if Cuba reopens? What do you mean? They're going to put gambling back there. You know the Americans are going to put gambling back there. They're in the region already with the Habers already. They're talking. Turn into a resort, a location. They're not going to rip down the architecture. That original architectures will make Cuba and the cars and shit, but also some else. And I know America knows this. Those oceans are booby trap. Up to a mile out of Cuba, there's a ton of shit that they have. Booby trap. Mines, all that shit. They planted those during the Bay of Pigs invasion. Look at this. 1957. 1957. Back when the mob ran it. Look at everybody dressed impeccably. They would go that flip a flop. No nothing. They loved it back then. They loved going to Cuba. People would go there, live it up. And sex was free and cheap. And you can fuck a chicken those days. You get fucked in the ass by a guy with a bit of amazing dog. It was unreal. That's why the whole point of Canada and all that was for them to get Cuba back, the Italians. They were making too much money out of Cuba. And now they want to start to put drugs on there and shit towards them when they took it down. Cuba's been fucking riddled with bullshit for years. Every bad luck that they have, they created in the 50s and 40s because it was a sex heaven. Americans go down there on a Friday and not come back. And you know, it was whatever cost here, $8,000. Of course, you $80 to get your dick sucked for three days and fed people rubbing your feet and shit. Castro revolution had major effects on Las Vegas. Look at that closure of Havana Casinos spurred Exodus to the desert. Wow. Especially people in the who? Frank Mia's father. What do you mean Frank Mia's father? Frank Mia's father was a casino. So that's how he ended up in Vegas. Oh, oh, oh, you said Frank Mia's Miranda connected to no. So Frank Mia's father was a casino dealer in Cuba. When Cuba closed down, he went right to Vegas. So a lot of those people went right to Vegas. Wow. Really interesting shit. That is interesting. It makes sense because that those are the two places. And if you're on the east coast, the trip to Cuba is easy. With 30 minutes. It's like going to Florida. 30 minutes. Yeah. It is what you and your wife would do on a weekend. How far is the flight from New York City to New York City to Florida? It's what? A hour? Three. Three hours? Yeah. Because Trump is down there now. So they go a different way now. No. Really? You go straight to Fort Lauderdale over Miami. You got to go outside that range of these. What it used to be? Two. Two. Two. Two hours. So New York City to Cuba is only a next year, half hour. That's it. So like less than three hours. Three hours, you'll be on the end. So it's basically the same as Vegas then. Yeah. It's the middle. The middle. But you have the you're on island. It's a resort. It's nobody knows what's going on. It's beautiful. You know, I told you that my mother would tell me how those Hollywood stars would hide in Cuba. Especially Rock Hudson. They would go that's when they would suck that kind of a weekend. Rock Hudson. That makes sense. All those Hollywood people would go to Cuba, lock themselves in. There was no TMZ. There was no press. You know, these people in Cuba don't have a new, you know, how are they going to get the pay? And everything's run by the mobs. Yeah. It's like just all sin and vice. Whenever you got a minute, you run, you read that a Van Nocturne. That book. What is it called? It's a Van Nocturne. It's a revolution from three different places. Union City, New Jersey, New York City, and Miami. And how art. No, no, that might New York City Tampa. And how those three cities were like involved in that whole. What do you think is going to happen to Cuba? If you had a guess, if I had a guess, come on. I'm already seen dollars on it. If you're a casino right now with how bad casino's are doing here, you're looking at that right there. You look at how the mob owned Cuba and then lost it to the revolution. Yeah. Excellent. Excellent. And so that was Kennedy trying to get rid of the mob. That's why they helped them. When the mob put, listen, Kennedy's father went to Chicago and he talked to those people. They had to pull. If you live in Chicago or where else, you went to primary. I don't know how it works. John, not a political guy. Well, they definitely helped Kennedy get into office. They helped Kennedy get into office. But then when he got into office, they didn't help get for dealt back. And the brother doubled time them and then they started shooting and I don't know who shot Kennedy's. I'm just saying this. Well, the mob definitely didn't like them. They were very upset. They cut into that pocket. And he helped the mob help them get into office in the first place. Right. And then once he got in, they start prosecuting people and like, Hey, then he fucked them with the bay pegs when he pulled off air support at the last minute. He didn't know that they were going to do this. And then when they told him about it, he denied air support. And air support was critical to the success of the mission. Absolutely. And Operation Mongoose, Robert Kennedy spearheaded his secret government project to topple the Cuban Communist regime, working parallel to the CIA's mob assisted efforts. But this is after the revolution, right? This was when Fidel was running Cuba. Right.
They were trying everything they do to kill fucking fed out they were doing everything this year This is after so what spurred the Cuban takeover of The military's taken over of Cuba My boss is like Sam jean canna and santo traficante Recruited to help eliminate Castro using methods like poison pills Mafia wanted to Castro gone so they could reopen their multi-million dollar Cuban operations Wow Money big money untrace can imagine untraceable nothing or nothing and you're over there living the life Nobody knows not my last key eating fucking Cuban food every day. They probably had it all set up It was nice and then the Russia Cuban food every day fucking my last so What did the people think the people think that these mob motherfuckers? They've taken over our country Let's let Castro come in and will be socialist and everything will be great Or did they just get taken over they got taken what happened was Castro went in there Batista was horrible Batista was fucking no better than Castro So when Castro took over it was to take over Batista and make Cuba papa papa but in the Congolameration he became a communist somewhere along the line and then when he took over Cuba That's when he shut the casinos down. He destroyed the fucking casinos, you know And then the Italian's got mad. They all came back And then they were just they thought it was going to be temporary Like this is going to be temporary. We'll clean over this so for years the Italians were just watching the news waiting for somebody to kill fucking Castro It was the Italians And then when they thought that the United States was going to go in there and invade like oh good. We're all set I wish there was more film from those days so people could see like my mother explained things to me I wish she was still alive because I got that like she said that Italian food was different in Cuba She goes first of all the peaches had lobster on them and shrimp already back then the fifties They're making because she didn't like the pizza in the United States. She goes not the same. They put fresh shrimp from the fucking ocean Lobster fucking all these other things. They got these pies now in New York. I'm scared to try them I can't they put calamari on the pizza. How fat can you get? How fucking fat do you want to be? You go to these pizza place in Jersey dog. It's like Pizzini a pound of zity on a slice of pizza this pizza places in Jersey that are just going off and the sandwich places in Jersey Oh, you boys your boys going off not like Giovanni, but that's that's white planes. Let's go. That's phenomenal I've been doing a little to like Italian delis on the east coast. There's nothing like that smell like that cheese When you walk in and the fucking olives and shit. Oh, it's insane unbelievable Unbelievable. There's too much pizza like it just too much You know, it's funny when I moved down like I'm scared to gain weight the pizza. I eat one slice a week. Maybe maybe Just I had the knee surgery. I've been doing the podcast at the house So I've been ordering pizza from this one place and my buddies go crazy That's the best pizza we've ever had thin sweet red sauce Extra cheese you burn it if you can thin. Oh my god in the sweet red sauce god They know how to make pizza on these coast and they try out here. They do a pretty good job out here But it's just not this missing something. They don't miss the sandwiches. There's some good Italian sandwiches out here They're pretty good, but they can't fuck with like Giovanni's place Pro Giovanni sent me two shipments that were he's the best. I had to give him half of the way. I'm like you know me It sends you so much fucking Salami's and Trice or the cheese is incredible. Oh, and the cookies. He's fucking cookies. Oh, fuck you up in those high four bro Yeah, you know, and that's everywhere like I just thought Yeah, fucking around like but when I go to these I take you to this place. What's place? You took me to El Nido. That was phenomenal. El Nido now is co-host take-house Whatever but the steakhouse now. Yeah, is it great? They fucked me up a couple weeks. I went in there five to nine I've been there three weeks in a row with big party and then my wife lunch and then a friend once I go in there One day of five to nine like let me get a fourteen ounce who the fucking beer and they're like we're closed They nobody in here. You can't make another steak Now we're closed not even nine No reason to go back That's a bummer. You just I was people want to go home. Yeah, I don't give a fuck. It's a steak You guys are there's nobody in here, right the bar is cute and there Nobody's ever in there. They got a male bartender. They got a blonde with big touch Spanish guy. That's a great guy But yeah, but I go to this place now they had on the special three weeks ago You ready? Stop shelves With lobster meat. Ooh at an accord inside and it gives you five of them in a tray. Oh show What's this place called asteria? Where's it at marble? This is my spot. Yeah, I go there because the dude will do whatever I ask them to do like he'll he has a menu But then he'll go Joey. Have you tasted my Italian fried rice? Like what are you talking about Italian fried rice? He makes risotto with lobster and shrimp of fried rice So he's gonna add it. He's got a new restaurant opening. So he lets me sample everything he makes a Cheesesteak to die for with the bread with the seeds on it. Oh, yeah, don't go Simmelina bread. Oh My god asteria there it is. Oh, that looks good Yeah, there's nothing like East Coast Italian food Nothing even compares Steve and Angelo in there bro, you don't fuck around. Alright, let's wrap this bitch up bro. Thank you for having me. My pleasure. I love you Thursday, I'm a rainbow. All right. All right, but I'm Atlantic City 7th and 8th that oceans casino white people casino July 7th and 8th no August August 7th and 8th. Okay, Chicago got announced November 5th. Oh, what's the website for people to go to find out I got a fucking you know website Joey Diaz dot com on that is that real? I don't know what he's all right. Well, they'll find you they'll find you so one more time. Where's the casino? Oceans casino in Atlantic City, New Jersey the 7th and 8th tremendous beautiful. All right, I think the government is coming The governor. Yeah, I mean like you Cheryl. I don't even like it, but I do like Mike, he's Cheryl I do like Mike, he's Cheryl because she's a Democrat. You're not supposed to like her, but it was funny I went to a restaurant some guys like hey, man Life would have been so much better with Jack Chiller and I go I know, but he lost by 400,000 fucking boats He tried to a Republican in Jersey. I'm never gonna fucking work. They've been Democrats This Jesus showed up. So 400,000 boats, bro. That's a lot. I'd be in my house with the windows fucking like sunny black and Donnie Brasco with the windows the shade drawn for a year 400,000 bucks. See that podcast. I did with Joe Pistone. Yes, very good. He was very good. I'm just amazing He's a good dude too. He's a good life fucking savage. What a crazy life the real Donnie Brasco I mean really fucking lived like that and he infiltrated the bananas. Yeah, deep They never recovered now even after he fucking came out and they found out he was a cop they're like oh You're better than me. That's like one of the guys said that to him. Hey you you want you beat me Wow, nuts All right, I love you brother. I love you. Thank you very much. We're gonna have fun tonight. Bye, buddy (gentle guitar music)
Podcast Summary
Key Points:
The speaker shares a humorous yet revealing account of navigating pain and recovery after knee surgery, using unconventional methods like edibles and topical creams such as Voltron to manage discomfort.
He discusses the use of non-steroidal anti-inflammatory creams with pain-relieving properties, noting their over-the-counter availability and effectiveness for joint pain, though warnings about use in acute injuries like strains.
The conversation touches on controversial historical uses of human-derived growth hormone, now replaced by synthetic alternatives due to risks of disease transmission.
There’s a personal anecdote about former athlete Alzada, who linked his steroid use to a fatal brain tumor, highlighting the potential health risks of performance-enhancing drugs.
The speaker explores the mental benefits of cannabinoids and supplements like CBD and creatine, emphasizing improved focus, memory, and mental clarity.
He critiques the inconsistency in supplement quality and dosing, citing unreliable gummy bear products and the importance of precise, controlled intake.
A recurring theme is the unpredictability and chaos of real-world experiences—such as drug transactions, traffic, and encounters with marginalized individuals—highlighting the unpredictability of urban life.
The discussion also references the rise of cannabis-related businesses, taxation, and market saturation, noting how competition and regulation are reshaping the industry.
Summary:
Joe Rogan shares a candid, often humorous narrative about physical recovery, pain management, and the unpredictable realities of everyday life. After a knee surgery and subsequent reoperation, he recounts using edibles and topical creams like Voltron to manage discomfort, despite skepticism about their efficacy. He delves into the history and risks of human growth hormone, linking past steroid use to serious health consequences, as seen in the case of athlete Alzada, whose steroid abuse contributed to a fatal brain tumor.
The conversation also explores mental wellness, highlighting how substances like CBD, creatine, and ketone supplements improve focus and memory. Rogan emphasizes the importance of consistent, precise dosing, criticizing the inconsistency in supplement products. He contrasts the chaotic nature of real-world experiences—drugs, traffic, and street encounters—with the structured expectations of health and performance.
The episode also touches on the expansion of the cannabis market, including increased taxation, competition, and the rise of dispensaries, underscoring how societal and economic shifts are transforming how people access pain relief and wellness products. Throughout, Rogan blends personal anecdotes with broader cultural observations, illustrating how lifestyle, health, and urban environments intersect in surprising and often chaotic ways.
FAQs
Voltron or Voltrax is a non-steroidal, over-the-counter cream that penetrates the skin to relieve joint pain, inflammation, and stiffness. It's used by rubbing it twice daily on affected areas like the knee, and is marketed as a pain relief option for conditions like osteoarthritis.
The cream is not intended for acute injuries such as strains or bruises. It's specifically formulated for chronic pain and joint conditions. Using it for acute injuries may not be effective or safe, as it doesn't address the immediate tissue damage or inflammation caused by such injuries.
DMSO (dimethyl sulfoxide) is a substance used in veterinary medicine and pain management. It's known for its anti-inflammatory and analgesic properties and is applied topically to reduce pain and inflammation in injuries or conditions like joint pain.
Anabolic steroid use has been linked to serious health risks, including brain tumors and cognitive decline. For example, former athlete Alzada credited his steroid use with contributing to a fatal brain cancer, highlighting the long-term neurological risks associated with such substances.
CBD (cannabidiol) is effective for reducing aches and pains, including arthritis-related discomfort. Users report improved function and pain relief, especially when using CBD gummies or other formulations, though quality and dosage can vary.
Adequate sleep is crucial for memory and mental clarity, especially as people age. Joe Rogan emphasizes that getting 8 hours of solid sleep helps maintain cognitive function and prevents memory lapses, which can be exacerbated by poor sleep habits.
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