The conversation centers on a speculative top-10 list of the highest-grossing domestic horror films, not adjusted for inflation. Key entries include *Jaws*, *The Exorcist*, *Sinister*, *Get Out*, and *It Chapter Two*, with recent and award-winning films dominating. The hosts clarify that the list reflects current box office performance, not inflation-adjusted values. A fun character auction game highlights the value of iconic monsters like Michael Myers and Jason Voorhees. The discussion also explores the overlap between horror and comedy, citing shared structures and pacing. A creative "Pick the Case" exercise builds a fictional movie featuring Jake Gyllenhaal and a killer clown in Area 51, blending sci-fi with horror. A word-based improv game crafts a detailed, escalating horror story involving missing children, a mysterious woman, and a cursed pumpkin patch. Finally, the hosts explore a hypothetical scenario where a monster from *Don't Move* threatens a family, leading to a tactical response involving fire, barricades, and escape via a hidden attic hatch. The episode blends humor, creativity, and deep engagement with horror storytelling, emphasizing both its commercial success and cultural impact.
- Guess the top 10 highest grossing horror movies of all time based on domestic gross sale. - Domestic gross sales. - Yes, North America. - Adjusted for inflation? - Sure. - No. - No? - I think it is. - Sure. - Yeah, it's actually it is. - Yeah, sure. - Do you have to get this exact order? - No, I've just guessed it. - Okay, go around. - Obsession. - Obsession is on the list. They snuck it at number nine, 175.6 million. - Have you seen that, by the way? - It was great. I haven't seen it yet. - I've seen it. It's literally terrifying. - Backrooms? - Not on the list. - Blair Witch Project? - Not on the list. - This makes me think it might not be adjusted for inflation, but I'm not sure. - Yeah. - Top 10 grossing domestic grossing horror movies. - Correct. - The Exorcist? - They're in the number four spot, 231 million. - Not adjusted for inflation. - Okay. - Okay. - No, we're not adjusted. - There's some recent ones on here, for sure. - Are they? - Yeah. - Interesting. - And I wouldn't think of them as totally horror movies. That's what I was about to say. - Yeah. - Okay. Exorcist, the ring? - I would go even more recent for a few of them. - Really? - I'm thinking of the Jordan Peel round. - Oh, get out. - That's what you're just giving it to. - Yeah. - I mean, now we're just-- - What are you doing now? - You're just telling me answers? - You're just giving it to me. - I'll be honest. - I'll be honest. - I'll be honest. - Get out of this in the seven spot 175 million. - How much? - 175.8. - Solid. - Solid. - I'll take it. - Yeah. - I would take that out of the way. (laughs) - Psycho? - Psycho's not on the list. - Uh. - There's one recent award winner on there. - That's a hint. - That is a hint. - I don't know what's one rewards. - Oh, what about a Sans of Lamps? - No. - Sans of the Lamps. - What? - Not on the list. - This is a bull (beep) list. - This is Google's list. - Google? What does Google know? Except everything. - There's one on the water. - One on the water? - Yeah. - Ocean 11. (laughs) - One on the, oh, Titanic. - No. - That's not a horror type. - Wait, does that a horror? - It is out of boat though. - It kind of ends horrifically. - It does end horrifically. - You know. - But that's not a horror in this, in Google's eyes. - Oh my, I'm not good at this. - Ah, no. - Oh, jaws. - John's is on the list. It's number three. - Of course. - 273.6 million. - How much? - 273.6 million. Solid. I will also take that. - Yeah. - Uh. - So give me decades first. The one was extremely recent. It was last year. I believe it won something at the Oscar. - There's like multiple people in the same, there's like a twin brother or something like that. - Just giving them the movie now. - Well, I don't know. - You don't split? - No. - You go to confession and church. - Yeah. - Because you did what? - You sinners. - Sinners. - Sinners. - It's a number five on the list. - Very good. Sinners is great. I enjoyed it. - 214 million dollars. - Solid. - It deserves it. It was a great movie. I really enjoyed it. - You got half of them. You need five more. - I need five more. - That's what I'm trying to help. - Give me decade, decades. - Well, this one was a remake. Number one was a remake. - Okay, good hint. It's a remake. - It was about 20 tons. - The first one was like three and a half hours long, I think. - Interesting. A remake. - Iconic villain. - You got Frey Krueger, Jason Voorhees. You got Hannah Belector. - Not quarter. - What? - Not quarter. - Nickle. - What? - What? - What? - Nickle? - Quarter Nickle dime. - Silver dollar. - What? - What's the one we didn't say? - Quarter Nickle. - I don't know, Curricade, man. Quarter Nickle dime. - I'm not gonna give you my two cents. - Penny. - Oh, it. - Yes. - It. - That was very good. - That was a good hint. - Not Jordan B.O. - Yeah. - The 2017 remake is number one, 328 million. - No way, it was number one. - Number one. - What? - Amazing. - And then you have your touch, your site. - What? - One of the other ones. - Before we move on, I'm gonna give you six cents. - Yes, the six cents is on there. - Okay, it's number two, 293.5 million. - Yeah, that's a great one. - I'm also gonna give you-- - What was six cents horror? I don't know, man. - Apparently it's horror. - I would say thriller, psychological thriller. I call BS on that. - I've never seen that movie. - I'm gonna try to say BS, 'cause I noticed the last time I was on the podcast, you had to believe me a lot. - He's the one with that. - I feel bad. - That's funny. It's for a house. - BS. (laughing) - So you're breaking up to work for me when you do that. - You have to be as much as you want. - It's kind of awesome. - I'm gonna give you number six, it's it chapter two. - Oh, that's nonsense as well. Okay, it chapter two. - 2019, 211.6 million dollars. - Okay. - You need number seven? - You need number seven and number 10. - Seven and 10. - The grudge? - Not the grudge, that's a good guess. - Arrival is not horror though. It's not. - What is the opposite of that? - Oh, quiet place. - Yes! - Yeah. - That is number seven on the list. - Wow. - $188 million. - Well deserved, the movie's great. - And then the last one is number 10. - I have not seen this movie. Zach, have you seen this movie? - I don't think I've seen this movie either. - Dracula? - No. - It's two letters. - Zach gave you a really easy hint before. - E-tive? - That's a horror. - Well, what's my hint? - Oh, he's a Jordan Peele. - Yeah. - Oh, was it another Jordan Peele one? - Yeah. - Oh, so he did get out and, just the two of us. - It's us! - Oh, us. (laughing) - That's the number 10 list. - 175.1 million. - You know what I think about a lot? - Like you said, just the, and I knew the rest of it too. - Yeah. - What are songs? I'm screw up your list right now, boys. But what are songs? - The list is over. - You could go around the world and if you said something, they would know what you're singing. And I think I know the number one. That, oh, not everywhere in the world. Like, my wife and I just went on safari in Kenya, and I guarantee you, they would not know this, right? And when you go into the tribal village, they don't know this. But if you go into most, at least certain in America, and probably Canada, if you went, wait, I forgot the song, go ahead. - Who let the, - Well, everyone knows that, but the next iconic one is some, ♪ Buddy wants to meet you ♪ - Oh, yes! - That's right. - I kind of thought, ♪ Buddy wants to meet you ♪ - I thought about some nights. ♪ Some nights I wanna pass in in my cat ♪ - No, no, no, no, no way. - Is that fun? It is fun. - It's fun, yeah. - It's like they're one hit wonder, right? - I know. - They have a couple hits. - Yeah. - They all sound very similar. - We already have wonders. - Yeah, probably. - And one more thing. - Me, oh, young. - Oh yeah, that's a good one. ♪ Set the world on fire ♪ - This is it. - We keep counting. - We keep counting. - Fun, are you out there in contact? - Yeah, contact us. - It's fun doing right now. - Probably nothing. - That's a great question. Welcome back to the podcast. - Thank you, fellas. Thanks for having me. I had a blast last summer's here. We're doing it again. - I think this is one of the few return visitors we've had to the studio. - No. - To the studio specifically. I think it's you and the Rizzler. - I think that's the same. - It's Elite Company. - There is a reason why we did that top 10 list. 'Cause we've never done a horror movie list on this podcast. - Really? - Can you explain why we did that list? - Spooky season coming up. - Spooky season is coming up. - There's something coming out. - Oh, yeah. I got a horror movie coming out a few weeks. Oh my gosh, three weeks. - Three weeks. - Wow, the last time I was here, it was kind of intangible. It was come out on theaters nationwide, didn't know a day, didn't know anything. But no, it comes out in three weeks. Nationwide, and we're up to like, we're gonna be up to 500 theaters. - That's crazy. - By September 10th weekend, we have premieres in New York, September 7th, Kansas City, September 8th, Los Angeles, at the iconic Chinese Theater, September 9th, and then the movie comes out September 10th, and theaters all across America. Yes, wild, man. If you don't know, I write horror novels outside of Impronctoral Jokers, I've got nine of them out. My fifth book, Don't Move, got turned into a movie, and in the movie is Q from Impronctoral Jokers, T-Pain Rob Riggle, the rapper Russ in his debut lead role, Lindsey Fonseca, the movie's awesome, man. It's very scary, it's really funny too. It's like a great night, date night horror movie. - I can't wait to watch. - I just realized Russ is on the cover. - Yes, they released the book. - Yeah, 'cause I was here, I brought the original one, but the publisher re-released it in stores across America to sync with the movie. So that's the key art for the movie. - That's awesome. - That's how Mason Mocha picture and inside, it's like, it goes into the movie details, which was all brand new, man. Who's in the movie, things like that? It's really cool, yeah, they re-released the book, both hardcover and paperback across America. - I do remember you hinting at it. You're like, I don't know, oh wait, I'm not allowed to say this, but maybe I could hint at it a little bit, and now you're back on the podcast, talking about it. - That's pretty wild, man, it's like how much has occurred since the last time I was here. Well, we just wrapped shooting the New Season Jokers five days ago. Last time I was here, we were just a few weeks away from starting production, and now we just wrapped it, and things are looking very good for another season after this, but the New Season's on TV right now, and it's been wild, it's been good about horror. - Maybe we'll just see what I did last week. - I was just gonna ask you about it. - We're just comparing the F-ing lead song. - No, no, no, give me more, got to go. - Yeah, it's fine. - I didn't see this. - You want to talk about horror. - No, no, I saw it, I'm saying he could curse, it's fine. I freaking am the only human on earth to have cleaned the outside of the Empire State Building using my own body dressed as a mob. I stepped foot last week off the top of the Empire State Building from the 130th floor, off the top of the skyscraper, and dangled below from a rope and scaled, repelled down to like the 90th floor, and swung like a pendulum using my own body to clean the skyscraper. That's horror, man. Get that on the top 10 lists. - Well, you've skydived before as a punishment, right? - No one has done this, oh by four. I was out there for an hour, skydiving, just like gravity do what it does, and it's done two minutes later. I was out there for an hour dangling from the 130th floor of the Empire State Building. - And you're not a big height sky, are you? - No, man, who is? - Yeah, no. - No one's a big height sky. I was like, "Oh, I'm a tore."
I like long walks on the beach and I'm a big hide scout that's no one no one yet. It was the most terrifying Terrifying thing I've ever done in my life really so much so that like I I mean, you'll see it on TV like we I released some of the drone footage Yeah on social media and the network had TMZ there and entertaining tonight and all these press outlets there They weren't that a rooftop two blocks away overlooking the Empire State and they had it was crazy, man Like I can't believe we pulled it off and no one's ever pulled it off Like the Empire State Building when they signed on for the punishment and the rigging company is there is the actual company the clean Empire State And they're like good luck we no one's ever done anything like this good luck trying And so we did it and what you don't see on the in the videos that I'm wearing 50 pounds a gear under that costume because the Empire State Building is a giant radio tower So you cannot get wireless mics. They'll get scrambled to the signals So I had to wear all the recording decks on my body Underneath the costume somewhere in 50 pounds of material of equipment under that mop costume and I had a train in repair You know how to repel. I was training in Queens two weeks ago from a two-story building You know they feel it's and then I'm up 103 floors and I had a full blown panic attack when I stepped foot off the top Crying and everything like that But then there's an old expression if you can't get out of it get into it So then I got into it and then Sal had a full blown panic attack watching me outside the And then I didn't start enjoying it. Then I'm doing a macarena. I'm dabbing, you know Just to just to mess with Sal and and that was out there for an hour then repelled back up to the top and then had a full blown emotion reaction again As soon as I walked back into the skyscraper took the equipment off tears again seeing the guys or camera crew My wife was there of course, you know, give me a kiss that I came back safe and then That I thought that was it and it wasn't it The next day I wake up last Wednesday wake up and the no pun intended the gravity of what we just put the of the situation Hit me a second time and I had a full blown emotional reaction on the day after crying again I was like what the hell did I just do man? I feel like it's like final destination like I'm cheating death I'll say it's my turn crew's ask and then like so so We went on safari two weeks ago my wife and I we go to Kenya and we're with a family We'd never traveled with them before amazing family friends of ours. They they paid for the trip, right? So we just had a fly ourselves there and so the whole trip is on them. They were already doing all this stuff They said one we have two extra spots. What did you join us? So we did and so some of these excursion days were on these helicopters flying through canyons and Kenya It was crazy crazy and I'm terrified, right? The whole time I went on these helicopters going through canyons that are this wide and the helicopter planes are this wide I said to the pilot I was like how are you judging? We're so close to the edges. He goes well. I have a good sense of how wide the wingspan is. I was like dude man. I was shitting my pants And then we come back from Kenya a week ago and have to do the final stunt of the season empire state building and then last week The same safari the same helicopter company Six Americans died last week including a 49 year old TV producer from Miami I was like I'm 50 year old TV producer from New York. I'm like at the same company. That's insane in the same canyons I was like what so it really is final mother-epping destination. I keep skirting around death man That's for do you ever do you ever think about like growing up like You would ever be doing anything remotely close to this no way I'd be like what's your dream job like what do you want to be when you're older and you know what I mean from the empire state them What got me into it was like the guys they've been planning this for 10 years right they've wanted to Have me clean a building my with my they first idea was the Staten Island ferry right okay couldn't get permission to do it Which I would have taken that cuz I just fall in the water. I can swim right that's easy Then they tried buildings different skyscrapers in New York everyone said no And then this season the Empire Seppelin came on board, but it was a lot of money right okay And so they had a loop me in and it's one of those rare punishments where they said they looped me in back in like April and said We got this idea when you do your help pushing it through because it's an overage from the network to do it right So they looped me in and I helped sell it to the network the press opportunity and the just the scale of it and how viral it would go and Like that that one video I posted them, you know millions of people have watched it. Yeah, and I was in shop right Two days ago and a guy comes up from your line two days ago and he goes Great job with the Empire stable the I'm like my local shop was like it spread the word right and And so I helped sell it to the network and show them the press opportunity of it And then it didn't really hit that I was like what got me into it was like People have skydived dovet before dovet before People have flown outside of airplanes. I did that in the movie flew on the wing people have done it Not a lot of people people have done it, but no one on earth Has ever used their own body to clean the most iconic building on planet earth you know and that was cool to me Like I'll never meet someone ever in my life that's done that and that got to me that got to a part of me that was I should have Just tapped into the good husband side of me. Yeah, and said no, but I was like that's really cool, man What we we've talked about or have asked the question on the podcast before like are you the best in the world at any one thing I think that's a question we've asked gas before and let's like you are the best in the world at doing that Cleaning the side of the Empire stable with your back. I've got no competition. There's no competition Yeah, in that's then diagram is just me You're also an elite company for being one of two return guests in studio No, who's the other Rizzler Rizzler We we're gonna come back to some impractical Joker stuff towards the end of the podcast. Yeah, we have a game for you at the end But we want it we want to stick to the to the horror movie about your new movie coming out don't move We're going ahead to head. I think okay first off before we get into that what got you into doing horror because you're you come from like a comedy background comedy Pranks impractical jokers stand up like what made that change to get it to horror because that seems like a pretty rash change I don't know I've always been always always been into it like I think I mentioned last time I was here like my wife And I watched a different horror movie every single night every night right I which I just love the genre I love it all I love psychological thrillers and and my degree in college was in fiction writing So he's wanted to be a writer and I wrote my first horror novel 26 years ago long before in practical jokers, you know And took me year right it and then that book ended up launching my literary career, right? So that's how I've got like nine books out and I have Since the last time I was here, I've we have an analysis. Yeah, I don't break it here first But I've got a tenth book coming out next year The first ever book ever that Arles Stein has co-authored That's sick good. Yeah, yeah, goose bumps fear for your shrink, you know, he's never he's been I mean he's the The most the best selling author of all time like he sold You're not gonna leave the number like 750 million books. Yeah, that's crazy talk think about that That's crazy. The guy is iconic right? He's a dear friend of mine and he's co-authored in your book It'd be a horror novel comes out next year and then my 11th book comes out the year after that Would it would be a sequel to my latest one you better watch out, you know But I've always been into it. I love horror so much and there's no difference between horror and comedy There's an old trope that the only difference between horror and comedy is the soundtrack Because the tempo when the timing is identical the way you cut the scenes are identical, right? So if you took in prep your jokers empire say building and you put a horror soundtrack it is horror I promise you, you know, it's like the movie fall, you know with on the red and tower fall two comes out soon It's the same thing, you know, so the rhythm the tempo is the same the writing is the same of like cliffhangers we end every Every active jokers on a cliffhanger leading to commercial breakers And the lore you back in to stick around around for the commercial Hars the same way man the cliffhanger endings of every chapter or in a screenplay of every scene in this in the in the movie Has to grab you and keep you going going going the pace is relentless just like comedy you have to understand the rhythm of it this very it's very Comparable like skill sets it really is. Hmm. That's very RL Stein is the type of guy where it's like I everyone knows who he is But no one knows what he looks. No idea. I know you know you do you do I but you don't you don't you do know what he looks like and you don't realize it Pull up. I've seen RL Stein if you don't say I thought he was just blackjack. Oh Anthony. Hello jack black. That's our L sign By the way, can we have a little side movies? Jack black is RL sign Can we grab a little side node here and the the disembodied voice You hear viewers his poor young little Anthony They've relegated to a corner on a folding chair. There are cushions chairs here in the studio. He don't have one He's on the old school metal folding chairs. He's a foot lower than all of us in a dark corner with a mic no camera It's it's so we're looking down at him. I prefer like this look at your first time on the pod me while tough everyone and you also look like I I love you dearly. You're a lovely guy. We've met a god, but you do look like a pencil eraser as well I look like a nice eraser. Your hair is just I need to cut everybody. Yeah, everybody's hair when they were 12 years old. I need it, but it usually doesn't look this way
- Oh man, it's fantastic. I can't judge 'cause I got nothing. Okay, I'm jealous of it, but my hair looked the same at 12. - It is, it is funny. - He's on 22. - He's on 22. - He's on 22. - Oh, I'm on 22. - 22 months. - Yeah, it is funny 'cause we switched sides for this podcast and I'm realizing guys, I'm looking at you behind you. There's text on the whiteboard says still bald. - That's for me, typically. - But now it's pointing at you. - It also works. - So it says the Rizzler, the Rizzler signed it. - This is a Rizzler podcast. He always shows up somehow. - Yeah, it's true. - Oh man. - Okay, we have a game for you, I prepped a game for you. You're gonna go head to heads versus Zach. - Okay. - Okay. This is gonna be a horror character auction. So have you seen the auction videos that people have been doing? - No. - So you're gonna start with a $20 budget, he's gonna start with $20. - Okay. - And there's eight total horror movie characters. - Okay. - You guys are gonna bid head to head. Keep in mind that there's eight and you only have $20. - I don't have $20 to spend, yeah. - So you could end up with four or five, he could end up with three or four. So it depends on how you spend your money. - Okay, got it. - I understand. - So you want to bid most of the characters, do you think most valuable? - Yeah. - And you're trying to build the best team. - The best team of characters. - Okay, okay. - And they're all horror movie characters. I'm gonna move this. - I'm a bit too much. - There's a lot of love for the first one. - Yeah. - Okay. - And have enough things. - All right, you ready? - The first horror movie character is Pennywise. - I'll bid $2. - $1. - Well, one or even two. - Wait, what? - It's all like to bid more? - If you want them. - Yeah, it's got a lot of money. - So why give it to him for $2 then? - I'll give it to you. - Wow, Pennywise. - That's steel for $2. - That is the highest grossing domestic film of all time, not inflation-adjustive. We found that out earlier in the podcast. - I think you could have, I think you could have drove that bidding up though. - I don't know. - They got him to spend more. - Oh, I see those. - Yeah, I don't know. - I've played the game before. - I'm not good at bidding. - Okay, I always say $18 left. - Next one is Michael Myers, you could start the bid if you want. - $1. - That's good. - Okay, I'll do $3. - $4. - $4? - I would go $5. - I would go $5. - Michael Myers, you want to have $6. - Out of your $20 budget. - And there's eight characters? - Eight characters total. - Six. - You don't say six. - Do you want to go seven? - I feel like now we're tipping the fine line of like, this is the value he's worth. - When will we go to Michael Myers and Zeth? - Halloween. - Thank you. - Oh, sorry. - He wants to get together. - I was gonna say prior to the 13th, but that's fine. - I know. - That's Freddie Krueger, don't worry. - It's a lot of money, man. - I know, 'cause I know you want him for six. - Abit seven. - Wow. - Yeah. - Michael Myers. - Yeah, I'm gonna make a push. - That would leave him with $11 if you gave him. - I can't do $750 or $7.01, I have to-- - We don't do coins. - $8. - $8, Michael Myers. - All right, I'm happy with that. Take him. - Take him for $8. - I'll take Michael Myers over Pennywise any day. - Yeah. - I spent-- - Guess who wins. - It's about the-- - Michael Myers. - He's killable. - That is true. - You're a fool. - It's a fair point. - You're a fool. - He's a fool. - Next horror movie character. - Keep this up and put in you. He's true. - You don't want to be in this position. - I'm gonna have with my $1, Michael Myers. - Okay, the next character is Freddie Krueger. I'll start $3. - You get him. - Oh. - $3.00. - $3.00. Okay, that's Friday the 13th. I know that one. - You have $15 left still. - That's it? - Wait. - Yes, okay. - Yes, that's it. - The next character is Chuckie. - I feel like you're not gonna spend your money. - I'm not $0. - I am not getting Chuckie at all. - Chuckie's a joke. - There's a joke. - He wasn't a joke at the beginning and became a joke. Like very much like Freddie Krueger did, right? So if you're put in a dream team, Michael Myers has never been a joke ever, ever, ever, ever. Chuckie became farce. - Right. - He became total farcical. - I agree. - You know, became a jokey and whatever. So you can have Chuckie. - So for $1, you're gonna give me Chuckie. - I'll get it to you. - Okay. - My Michael Myers still beats all of your team. You don't understand. - I'm just, how much money do I have left? - You have $14. - You have $14. - $14. - You have $13. - You have all the money. He has $11, you have $14. - Okay, I have 12. - I have 12. - So I still have more money than you and I have three characters. - It doesn't matter. - Michael Myers still destroys all of your characters. That's what you're not getting. - If we're building a dream team, I still am ahead. - Okay. - Next up, this is a heavy hitter. Jason Voorhees. - Hmm. - All right. - I'm gonna talk about a guy that's never been a joke. - Three dollars. - Oh, three dollars, though. - Jason Voorhees, you know, 530, it goes to space. - Oh, okay. - He's been a joke. - Okay, fair enough. - He got upgraded in space since in the Mecha suit. (laughing) - I go four dollars. - Okay, five. Does he wanna go six for Jason? - You could have an ultimate duo. - I'll do six. - Six dollars, yeah. - Six dollars right there. - Should I just go for it? 'Cause then I still have money to spend? - I'll do seven. You're gonna spend eight? - Eight. - Yeah. - I like that. - I like that at eight. - You can have him for eight. And now you have like, no money left. - I got my demise of Jason Voorhees. - Do you think he won? - I think he won. - I got four dollars left. - Yeah, I think he's still on. - I'm walking you right now, actually. - Yeah. - You're making foolish decisions. (laughing) - All right, next character is Beetlejuice. - You don't even want a bit. - Just your own dollars. - I will take Beetlejuice for one. - From one dollar. - Yeah, good luck. - Good luck. - Good luck, Jason Voorhees versus Beetlejuice. - It's the collective team. It's everyone together. - Okay, good. - I've got two unkillable characters. - You know. - Yeah. - He does. Okay, there's two left. - Two left. - The next one is Jigsaw. - Jigsaw. - Yeah. - Whoa. - Jigsaw, you mean the guy? - The guy, yes. - He's trying to have cancer. (laughing) - In saw. What's his name? - I don't know. - The guy. - I'm the same with Jigsaw. - No, Jigsaw's a little puppet character. - Oh, oh, oh. - But he's a real guy. He's a human being. - True. - That's literally dying of cancer in the saw movies. - So, one dollar. - You gonna have? (laughing) - And then the last character. I don't think you can get him, 'cause he could outbid you. It's Frankenstein. - Yeah, I'll do five dollars, 'cause you only have four. - And now I've got four dollars that was spent tomorrow. I can get a three-quarter foot subway sandwich. - Yeah, exactly. - Four dollars. - So Zach has Pennywise, Freddy Krueger, Chuckie, Beetlejuice, Jigsaw, and Frankenstein. And Murr has Michael Myers and Jason Voorhees. - Yes, I still win. The only, only closest competition is Freddy Krueger, right, because he's theoretically unkillable, except he's not, because all you have to do is forget he exists. And if you start whispering just quiet down the competition, if Freddy Krueger, he relies on people's fears, right? And if you don't fear him, he has no power. - This is true. - That's just a truth, Freddy Krueger, whereas Jason Voorhees is literally unkillable. Michael Myers is literally unkillable. I still win. - Okay, well let the people decide. You're like, it's up to that. - You know the truth. I'm telling the truth. - I think that he's probably gonna win. - Yeah. - Yeah. - And if you're going up like this. - Yeah. - That money spends, man, that's tax-free. - That's tax-free money right there. Was there a character growing up that you were like, that is my favorite horror movie character? - I mean, you gotta go ahead of the lecture. - Okay, fair. - Go back and watch the original "Sounds of the Lambs" again. It is a, he won Best Actor, which for "Sounds of the Lambs," like whenever has an actor won for a horror movie is Best Actor, although sinners might have done it. Did he think that could be Jordan Wittling Best Actor? - Made it. - Checking it out. - I don't think so. - It won Best Movie. I don't think he won Best Actor. I don't know if it's ever been done. Like an actor in a horror movie won Best Actor, you know. It is iconic. It is nerve, it is bone-chilling his performance and it's Anthony Hopkins in his absolute physical mental prime. And it's just terrifying, man. Go back and watch it. It is a masterclass in acting and script and probably the most iconic villain. Other than arguably Darth Vader. - You're honest, I'm actually getting chills thinking about it. - You gotta watch it. - You're gonna go back and watch it. - His scenes with Cleary Starling in the jail cell are chilling and when he rips the guy's face off and wears it and kills everybody in the ambulance, iconic. - Michael B. Jordan did it too. - He won Best Actor. - Wow, I have a good question for you. There's only been three horror movie characters to win Best Actor. It's Michael B. Jordan, it's Anthony Hopkins. Can you name the last one? - Wow, okay, let me think. - I feel like that's very difficult for, I would never guess that. - One Best Actor for horror movie? - This is his niche. - Best Actor, yes. - Is it 70s, is it Exorcist? - No, no. 'Cause Exorcist is one best picture. - I don't wanna give you a clue because I feel like you could get there. - Give me the decade a long time ago. - So before 70s. - Oh, yeah, 70s. - 'Cause Exorcist is one best picture. - Like 40 years before the 70s. - Bell Legosi? - No. - Hold on. While he does this, can you look up how much time Anthony Hopkins was on-screen in silence of the lambs? 'Cause I think he was only on-screen for like 11 minutes. - Yeah, that's crazy, crazy. - It's just his presence. - This movie was at least in 1931. - Yeah, okay, so is it, was it seen from Nosferatu? - No. - That's a great guess though. Brian loves Nosferatu. - I do love Nosferatu. - Yeah, it's great. - Do you see Remake? - No. - Oh, you just like him from Spongebob? - He only knows him from Spongebob. - Watch your hand. - No, that's a, - No, no, no, I don't see. - Frankenstein? - No, no, no. - Frankenstein. - 1931, oh, oh, oh, I know, I know, I know, I know. Hold on, it's a black and white movie. - Yep. - It's called, hold on, iconic, famous. - It's an iconic movie. - Hold on, I know this. - This feels like it has to be impressive. - I also believe that there was a restaurant based around this movie in New York City. - Yeah, yeah. It's called, - My hint would be that it was on Broadway. - It was on Broadway? - Well, I think this story has been on Broadway. - I can't remember the name of it. - I'm thinking multiple personalities.
- Jekyll and Hyde? - Yes. - Yes. - Jekyll and Hyde. - It was the. - Frederick March. - Oh, I don't know the actor. - He won Best Actor for Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde, and playing both the tragic doctor and the savage monster. - Wow. - Yeah, so that's really great. - Three actors. - Three actors, cool, man. That's pretty interesting. - Yeah. - Screen time. - And it's on screen for 24 minutes and 52 seconds. It says people often leave a stake if they're only 16 minutes for some reason. - Really? - Yeah. - 'Cause that's like, we did the Voldemort and Harry Potter, and it's like, there's movies where he's only in for like four minutes. - That's it. - It's like, total 37 minutes on screen through this entire series. - It hasn't aired yet. We just did a spoof of "Sounds of the Lambs on Jokers." It hasn't aired yet. It'll air in a few weeks. We had Q who were pedally thinking that, you know, there's a famous scene in "Sounds of the Lambs" with the serial killer. Tux is. Shenatles between his legs. It starts dancing all weird. It's something iconic. - Sounds like Steven. Yes, Steven was borrowing from "Sounds of the Lambs." - That's exactly it. - And we had Q of thinking that every movie has that scene in it. He was saying, "You've seen "Top Gun." The guy's like, "No, I'm maybe just seen "Top Gun." He goes, "It's great. "You gotta see it." Tom Cruise tux is "Geno's" between his legs. Have you seen "Fars" company? Yeah, yeah. He keeps, he keeps screwing up the movies and so on. - That is good. It's hilarious. Okay, we have another game for you here. - Okay, I love it. - This is a "Pick the Case." So it's kind of similar to the like, deal or no deal. - "Pick the Case." - "Pick a Case" to create the perfect movie. So it's gonna be four rounds where you got "Pick Case" one through six. And then each round, you gotta chance to switch the case if you want. If you switch the case, you have to keep it. - Okay. - Okay. - I don't understand, but okay. - You'll understand. - "Pick a Case" to create the perfect movie. Your first case is your villain. "Pick a Case" one through six. - I just picked a number. - "Pick a Case" one through six. - I've never seen anything, I know it, brief cases, women, I want that one. Well, but there's still more than all the parents iconic. - Yeah, okay, I'll offer you $67,000 if you do, okay, got it. - Yeah. - 67. - Okay, so five. - Case number five. - Case number five is Pennywise. - Son of a. - Do you want to keep that case or change the case? This is the main villain in the movie. - Now there are some bad cases out there. - There are. - But there's some great cases. - You're gonna keep the case. - Yeah. - You were just talking so much. - I know, I was talking so much. - Bad map about it. - What is a great villain? - He is a great villain. - If I'm trying to design a best movie, that's a solid villain. - But he's killable. - Yeah. - That's fine. Case one was Jason Voorhees, Case two was the Joker, Case three was me, Case four was Joe Gatto, Case six was Pete Davidson. - Yeah. - I'm very happy with Pennywise. - That's a good villain. - Yeah, it's a good villain. - I can be scary. - The next level is your main character. - Three. - Three. You sure? - Yeah. - It's me. - Yeah, I'm switching that guy to the case. Wait, you're so mean, you're the main character that's being hunted or has to hunt or whatever. - Correct. - I never choose you. - Okay. - I don't care. I will never, I'm gonna switch that case. - All right. What case do you want to switch to? - Let's switch to two. - You're switching to two? - Yeah. - Pretty good case. You get Jake Gyllenhaal. - I'll take that. - That's a great big character. - Jake Gyllenhaal and Pennywise. This is a shaped up to be a good movie. - I really like that. Case one was Genoa Tega, Case four was Killian Murphy. Case five was Salvo Kano, Case six was Oprah Winfrey. - Yeah. - You're crushing so far. - Killian Murphy would have been very good. - Yeah. - Take Gyllenhaal is great though. - Yeah, but it's a great, great, great character. - I feel like you're crushing right now. Case three is your location. Pick a case. - Oh. - So it's Jake Gyllenhaal versus Pennywise. - Correct. - For some location. - Pick four. - Case number four is the Amalfi Coast. - Little weird. Little weird for Pennywise. - Not a storm drains the Amalfi Coast. Not a lot of storm drains. I've been there before. I don't think I've ever seen a clown in a sewer. - No, definitely not. - It's a little too nice over there. - Yeah, although sometimes they could work for horror. It's a travel destination, good food, good people, beautiful vistas might be pretty iconic versus a killer clown in a sewer. You've switched the first two cases, are you switching case three? - And both times it's worked. - I am going to switch cases. I don't think the Amalfi Coast is the right setting for Pennywise. - I agree with Jake Gyllenhaal. - What case are we going? - Six. - You're honestly doing very well. I think this one might not be the best fit, but area 51. - Oh my god. Could you imagine that mashup of a killer clown in a sewer system in America's biggest secret, with UFOs and paranormal psych, oh my gosh, I'm nailing this. - There's a lot going on. - And Jake Gyllenhaal. Okay, ready? So let's create the movie. - Yeah, I like it. - So Jake Gyllenhaal is a top secret scientist for the U.S. government. He's working on anti-gravity, right? He's reverse engineering, alien tech that fell to Earth in New Mexico in Roswell and he brought it to area 51 in Nevada and he's there, he's about to crack anti-gravity. But what he doesn't know is that in the storm trays, there is Pennywise, that's doesn't, Pennywise is an alien. That's fact. Right? He's an alien from outer space in Stephen King's it, right? So he's an alien from outer space. This is the best movie of all time. I'm going to draw out the F words so that he has to bleep long, right? It works, Pennywise is an alien, and he's an area 51, Jay Gyllenhaal, of course he has top secret scientists. Pennywise is an ancient trans-dimensional alien entity from outside our known universe. This is great. I'm going to have to double up the sensor. I think my sensor's only like three seconds long. He's going to have to pull it up. All right, this is the maker break. Okay. Your four case might make a break it. Yeah, it's the genre of your movie. I thought it was horror, nope. Well, we don't know that. We don't know how. We're just like a rom-com, is that some work, man? In case what they're saying. He's like an erotic thriller. Yeah. One. One. You get horror movies. Yes! I nailed it! I nailed it! Four of the other genres. Rom-com. Case two is comedy. Case three was rom-com. Case four was documentary. Case five was an animated movie, and case six was an action movie. Oh my god, I nailed it. Well, it would be very funny to see as an animated movie with J.J. Jill and all, and Penny was there. I'll be honest for the podcast viewers, because sometimes we do a little different. We were thinking about just giving you horror, whatever case, but that was actually the case for a while. That was actually the case. Wow. That's a solid movie. I would watch that movie. That was pretty damn good. Who would you put to co-star next to Jake Jill and all? I mean, you already said a general or take a look at what I was saying, mate. No. Maybe it was like a rom-com. You would Jake Jill and all. Yeah, we would. Just falling in love while fighting Penny was. I would sign up for that any day of the week. I kind of want to go back to, because it kind of aligns with what you just did. So you kind of created this movie. You had all the topics. You drew out this plot for it. We saw your buddy, Joe Gatto, do this on a different podcast, where he's given a random word, and he created a movie plot throughout. Is that correct? Yes. Yeah. Zach hasn't seen the clip, but that's basically what happened. Did you see the clip of him doing that? So basically there's 10 words, and the podcast host gave him a word at a time, and as he gave him the word. So he gave him lasagna. And he would have to set the tone of the movie with lasagna. Sure. And I think he named it my boss, lasagna, or something. We have 10 random words for you. We want to see how well you would do. Okay. Any kind of movie? Any movie you want. It's totally up to you. This is an improv game, man. This is a name in high school. Yeah. Exactly. Okay. So we picked out 10 random words. Create a movie with these 10 random words. Okay. Tell me all the words are one and a half. One at a time. Okay. And we're going to make our way through it. The first word is pumpkin. He's locking it. Yeah. That's an easy one. Okay. That's an easy one. Yeah. Three children wake up not knowing who each other or how they got there in the middle of a pumpkin patch on a fall night. It's midnight. Okay. They wake up under a full moon in their pajamas, nightgowns, whatever. They don't know each other. They don't know how they got there. They're in a pumpkin patch. Okay. I like that. So this is kind of already making its way to the horror. Yeah. That's kind of going away. That one. All right. Next word is statin island. That is definitely horror. Nice. Intercut to three different families in statin island, suburban statin island waking up in the morning to call their kids down for breakfast and the kids are gone. Oh. Not in their bedroom. See, this is like a real move. Three different suburban houses in statin island. Parents wake up freaked out that their three kids, three different kids have gone missing overnight. He wrote, don't move. It's no movie coming out of three weeks. Like it just makes sense. He's able to do this. It makes sense. Okay. Ready? Yep. Next word is candy. The parents freak out. They call 911, of course. They run all around the house, can't find their kids. They run outside the doors of their house with respect to three houses. And all they see is a jolly rancher on the porch. One jolly rancher on each three porches. Yeah. I thought you were going to go Tarleton too. Tarleton, you know. What flavor jolly rancher? Different cellar? Different cellar? Of course. I'm not a. Cherry, of course. So they see three different pieces of candy. Three jolly ranchers there is the only clue as to what might have happened. All three are cherry? Mm-hmm. Okay. Your next word is trampoline. I can't wait to see where you take it. Yes. This report immediately to the three different houses and very quickly in Staten Island connect the dots that three kids have gone missing from a neighborhood. They searched the house and the yards and everything. And all three houses, the only common factors that they all have trampolines in the yard. And the trampolines have. and ripped through the center and there's a hole in the ground underneath all three trampolines. - Whoa, okay. I like it. - I feel like we're traveling into a different world through the hole. - All right. This might get a little bit difficult now. Next word is pasta. (laughing) This is getting a little tricky. It's gonna be a little tough. - It's getting a little tricky now. - Yeah. - I'm thinking cloudy, but the chance of meatballs. - Yeah, something like that, yeah. - Pasta. - Pasta starts falling from the sky. (laughing) - Really tough. - So this is your fifth word. So this is halfway through the words too. I gotta start, we gotta start cooking now. - Details, yeah, yeah. - No pun intended. - The rising action. - Cooking details? - Yeah. - Cut back to the children that are in full blown panic mode in the pumpkin patch. The nearby is an old rickety cabin in the cabin farmhouse. They run in terrified and they're sitting in the cabin is a woman who looks like a raisin. She's like all wrinkles. She looks like she could be 200 years old and she's making pasta from scratch. And but her hands are covered in blood. She's got blood red hands. - We got blood pasta. - Blood pasta. - Is it red sauce or it's blood? - It could be red sauce. (laughing) - I think just random sidebar childhood book Streganona. Do you know that story? - No, I don't know that part either. - We'll talk about it later. - You're like a grandmother? - She like cooks the pasta and she says, oh, can you watch the pasta and then the pasta grows and it's a hard movie. - That's crazy. (laughing) - All right. - Your next word is the story. - I gotta wrap up the whole movie in the next four. - You got five more words. - Five more. - Five more. - Teeth. - Teeth? - Oh, yeah. (laughing) - Yeah, the elderly woman looks up at the children, invites them into the home and when she, and they're standing at the door, the threshold of the door, and when she smiles at them to lure them in, she's got no teeth on the tops and only sharp fangs on the bottom. - Oh. - All right, we're getting solar. - Oh, okay. - So not like a half vampire almost. - Almost. - Oh my God, yeah. - Okay, next one is a scroll. - Oh, the intercut back to the police setting up ropes. They think the kids might have fallen in these holes. The police officer of McAfry. - Christian? - Christian McAfry. Repels down one of the holes. Meanwhile, two of the cops go down the other holes with fire department and at the bottom of each of the three, they find a scroll. They unroll the scroll and it's written in ancient language that they can't decipher. It's like, it looks like Latin almost, describing all how those eaves, which is, of course, is the night before Halloween. And they find the scrolls. Find the scrolls, the police get back together, put the scrolls together and it forms out a word. But when you put the scrolls together, what was looked like Latin, when you put the scrolls side by side, it forms a word that says pumpkin. (laughing) Bring it back. - Your next word is torch. - Torch. All of Silent Rally's to go hunt for the kids on all how's the hell as Eve. And they grab torches 'cause they don't have electricity in Silent, they don't have flashlights. They grab torches and start combing through the nearby property. A ways in the way in the, in the, the Silent Valley, there's this, this is, they know of this woman that lives alone. She's like a recluse and no one's seen her for decades. So they go, it has to be her, right? So they, she's the only one in Silent, it has a pumpkin patch. It's all overgrown for miles. And the whole community gets together with torches and starts hiking toward her house to confront her to see if she's the one that took the kids. - Okay, this is like, wrap up the three more questions. I gotta wrap this through. - There's only two more words. Two more words. The next one is balloon. - It's funny because I'm imagining in my head where I would go and I'm leaning just towards movies that I know. - You're looking at it. - Yeah. - Yeah. - The kids terrified of the woman run away from her house back into the pumpkin field. In the middle of the pumpkin patch. - Not air balloon. - Was that? - What? - Got her balloon. - Was it a hot air balloon or was it? - No, it was just balloon, sorry. - In the middle of pumpkin patch is a helium tank and latex balloons on the ground. They hear the voice of the distance of statin islanders marching toward this old lady's house, but they're in the middle of a pumpkin patch and there's corn and overgrown and they can't see the people. So what they do is they take the latex balloons and they inflate them and send them up into the air as a signal to where they are in this giant field to signify to their parents where they are. Okay. - Can I tell you one more word left? Can I tell you where my head went? I thought you were going to go. I thought you were going to say she tied the balloons to the children. They elevated in the air and then the balloons popped and they fell through their local trampolines in their backyard and that's what created the hole. - It's a better way to go. - I shouldn't have done that. - I also got to see the words before, but-- - Yeah. - Your last word is forest. - Forest? - It's the last word. - He's like, I got to wrap this up. - Yeah, I got to wrap up the little goddamn movie. - You could just leave it on a cliffhanger? - No. - Yeah. - So the balloons rise up in the air. The parents see them in the middle of this lady's cornfield and pumpkin patch and go racing toward that spot. They run through the woods to get there, the forest to get there. As they approach where the spot where the kids are, the kids have gone, they're no longer there. They see nothing except the healing tank and the unfilled latex balloons on the ground. They run into the lady's cabin to confront her. All this left is a delicious pasta dish. She's nowhere to be found. - So it is red sauce? - Yeah, it is red sauce. Out of anger, they burn this lady's house down. And as the embers rise up, they float over to the nearby forest and set all of a sudden on fire. The parents race back to their houses to save their other kids. And when they come back to the house, their three respective children are climbing back out of the holes into their parents' arms and they race off of the outer bridge to get the safety of New Jersey under the movie. But the movie truly ends with, as they're driving over the outer bridge to Jersey. They, and they come over the outer bridge into, not Bayon, what is the outer bridge go to? It goes to Woodbridge, what is the woodbridge? As they come over to Woodbridge, they notice that all of Woodbridge in Jersey has been overgrown by pumpkin pagans. - Oh no. Is the story over? - Oh, this is not a good movie. Take me back to Jake Jillin Hall in Area 51. - I was wondering where the Dalley Ranchers came in ever. - I had a fucking meal. - I came back. - It was pretty good. - That's good. - This is, we do a lot more work thinking about the logic of a book. - Yeah. - A lot more sense. We did want to ask you about the book. Do you want to do your little? - Yeah, question. - Yeah. So this is an experiment, okay. We have some questions that are more sure of fire, cool if we're doing it. - And then I want to test you. - Okay. - It's not really a test. - It's not a test, it's just a question. - Yeah, I'm just gonna ask you to explain it, which you did the other so you should be able to do this. - Okay. - Oh boy. - Today we're asking Mer what he would do if he came across a horror movie monster trying to kill his family. - Oh, so let's say your book specifically. Like that monster. - The creature in Don't Move? - It's an arachnid. - So the creature don't move. Don't move started from this idea of like, what if there was a forest in America that was just untouched and pristine, untouched by civilization, where evolution has just gone its own way, right? Where, because arachnids used to be massive, right? Millies of years ago they used to be the size of a car, right? Terrifying creatures, this is true, this is evolution. But over time and the rise of humanity and hunting and what have you, just evolution changed. And the reptiles that used to be back in the day, T-Rexes, these are got smaller mosquitoes used to be massive, right? Got smaller and smaller and smaller as evolution continued and as humans rose and what have you and our ancestors rose and hunted and hunted just to change, right? But what if there was a pristine forest, a virgin forest somewhere in the world where it was untouched by evolution? That's where it started, right? - Like the Amazon rainforest. - Yeah, exactly right, right? - At the bottom of the ocean, whatever. We're just, evolution just did not listen to what was going on in the rest of the world. That was the origin of the creature in Don't Move. So could there be a creature that has just defied evolution? It's an untouched forest, no one's discovered it, there's no Starbucks there, there's no Wi-Fi, there's no 5G towers there. It's just this pristine forest that just has gone untouched and that's where the creature in Don't Move comes from. So what would I do to save my family? - So this creature comes up to your front door trying to kill your family. - I don't know. - Well, I would say, you have the powers. You're able to use what you can. You want to destroy this thing. I want you to be graphic. I want you to dive into it. Tell me exactly what you would do to that creature or harm us. - Well, the great thing about the creature in Don't Move is you can't reason with it, right? It has no logic, it's just pure basic.
instinct for survival, eating, you know, what evolution used to be for and still is for animals, right? So how do you defeat a creature that can't be logic with or reasoned with in any way? I think your first is barriers, right? So you have to lock yourself into a goddamn room in the house. I go right into my bedroom where we keep two guns. I also have a flamethrower in the house. My first thing would be creatures are afraid of fire. So I do have a flamethrower in the house. Not a big one. It's one of the small ones, but it's still fire, right? I grab my wife's aquanette. I grab the freaking flamethrower. And the first thing I do is grab the guns, right? I grab the lock and the Smith and Wesson, okay? And I load on the creature. But the creature and don't move has a very hard exterior shell. It probably won't be stopped by bullets. I'm going to try projectiles first. If that doesn't work, I go flamethrower. I got it in the closet as well and hairspray it. I light that mother effort on fire because what's what's going to do, right? So the first thing, barrier of entry, lock the doors to the the primary bedroom, lock my wife and puppies in there. I grab the flamethrower and hairspray. And I also have, I need more hands. It's really well. It's a spider, man. It's got eight hands. I got two. So I probably give my wife the flamethrower, you know, because she's, you know, and I take Smith and Wesson in the clock, right? And then I unload, yeah, I feel like I'm going to win. Yeah, I'm going to win. I got multiple right. I got boxes of ammo. I can reload. I've never fired the guns before, but I theoretically know how to and I unload on this creature, man. And then I have an escape hatch. So in the primary bedroom, there is a secret hatch you pull down. It's not like a secret. It's the attic, right? But you pull down and my wife and I, I don't know how we get the puppies up there, but we go up into the attic, and then we go out the, we go out one of the hatches. There's a there's a skylight in the attic, there's a sealed-over. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. It's okay. It's okay. I barrel through that. And I set the whole damn house on fire. Okay. I set the house on fire. The creature gets past Smith and Wes and the Glock and the Aquinette and the and the Flamethrower. We go open in the attic with the dogs, bust through the skylight and get out of the house as it lights on fire below us. That's how I deviate the creature. I love that. Okay. The reason why we're laughing so much. This has been, this has been a trend that people have done where they ask a ridiculous question. They describe in detail. Just say it. And then the power of editing tells you the next question. Okay. And then you throw that question up front. Today we're asking, we're what he would do if an orphan came across his doorstep. I see this family to take care of them. I changed. You have to edit it. I changed nothing. I changed nothing. Smith and Wes and Glock, Aquinette, a Flamethrower, attic, skylight, dogs, escape. I changed nothing. Don't change the order. You have to worry about the meme. Don't edit anything. The answer is the same. That was exactly how I wanted it to go. Don't come to my house knocking, man. Whether you're a creature or an orphan, I don't want it. For context of the people, that was to defeat the creature in a movie. Don't move. Don't need to edit it. My answer is the same. We'll send up for review. Okay. Geez. That was. We could do a secondary. But you know, sir, I would not kill an orphan. Just very clear. I would not. Here's the here's the secondary. Okay. Today we're asking Mer what he would do if a shirtless salvo canna walked up to his front doorstep. There you have that. Yeah. Okay. That makes us. Okay. That answer is truly the same. It's also an insane question because Sal has never come to my house. Never will. Okay. We just have a few other questions relating around jokers and just kind of like you in general. Yeah. We saw on, I don't know what podcast it was, but you went on a podcast, and you kind of broke some news that nobody really knew. Okay. We heard that you were roommates with Alan Iverson in college. We were sweet mates. Yeah. It's insane. Yeah. Did we not talk about that? We didn't talk about that. I saw that. I was like, this is unbelievable. So I used to in weird story. I used to be obsessed with Coca-Cola. Yeah. I used to work for them in high school and and in college. I was like, you know what? I should be the campus rep for Coca-Cola. So I reached out to Coca-Cola. I said, you should hire me to be Georgetown University's campus rep. And they're like, what are you talking about? That doesn't exist. Yeah. There's no such thing as a college rep for a beverage company. I said, I should be your first. And they hired me. Wow. For real. So my sophomore was your college. I was the campus representative for Coca-Cola. And to show you how old I am, I used to fax in my hours at Coca-Cola on a weekly basis. And they paid me. And I used to do events around campus for Coca-Cola in the in the in the main square there on campus. And so as an employee of Coca-Cola in college, I used to get to buy Coca-Cola at cost, which was like eight cents a bar for 20 ounce, right? And there was one Coca-Cola vending machine in my dorm room. And my suite made it was Alan Arverson. And another basketball player for Georgetown called his name was Boo-Boo-Car-Out, which south thinks of the funniest name on the planet, Boo-Car-Out. So it's Alan Arverson, Boo-Car-Out. We were right next to them in our floor, in our dorm there. And the vending machine for Coca-Cola used to sell out all the time. Because it was one vending machine for 300 rooms in a dorm room, right? So to sell out all the time. So on a week, I used to buy Coca-Cola at discount, at bulk for eight cents a bottle. So I had cases of it in my room. And I used to sell it from my room to students. It was a known thing. And Alan Arverson. Yeah. And so every week Alan Arverson would knock on the door to buy two things from us. Coca-Cola and condoms. Because we didn't need them. He did, he was a favorite part. He did. So he used to knock on my door to buy coke and a condom from us. So yeah, I used to sell Alan Arverson coke and condoms. No, nobody else in the world can say that either. And then he got drafted. He left Georgetown at the end of the second year and got drafted in the NBA went on to his life. And then I became an impractical Joker. You were the best in the world that's selling Alan Arverson coke and condoms. Yeah. I used to sell Alan Arverson coke and condoms. That might be the most successful dorm room ever. Yeah, it was a side hustle I had. Isn't that wild? What do you think about it? It is ridiculous. We're sold Alan Arverson coke and condoms. It's ridiculous. It's very funny to say. Do you ever explain it? Do you ever see him again? No. What? No. We weren't like friends like that. I mean, you know, we lived next to each other, but like, you know, that's it. That was the most sense of our, you know, like you don't cross paths at like something you guys are at. I'm embarrassed to say there's a Georgetown alum. I never once went to see a Hawaii's basketball game. Oh, really? No, it was doing improv and comedy and stuff. Fair. But also he never came to my, I never went to his games and it came to my improv. So there you go. So we're even goes both ways. Yeah, when he got drafted at the end, he left Georgetown in the sophomore year. Yeah. They know. I stayed. Well, we had a, we had a seven game series, you versus Alan Arverson and specific things. I want to see who it would with. He wins across the board. There's some things I think you got on them. Okay. Who'd went in a seven game series, Merr, or your college roommate, Alan Arverson? Yeah. First one is one on one basketball. It's a game one. Arverson. You don't think you got a, no, really? No, man. Do you think you can score point on Arverson? No, even today. Have you seen him play ball? He was an amazing player. We all knew it. Like sophomore year, like this guy's going pro and sure if he left Georgetown and sophomore year to go pro. And he's amazing. He's an amazing player. No, I would have no chance at all. Well, he's not tall. No, he's not that tall guy. He was maybe a little bit taller. I'm five, 10, maybe a little bit taller than me, but he's an amazing player. No, he would crush me. Do you think I might in span of an hour get one basket? Maybe, but I doubt it. I doubt it. I was going to say your college prime, your athletic prowess versus Alan Arverson today, the 50-year-old version of himself. No, no. If we played horse, I have a decent shot at, at least competing. I might even win a couple. Really? Because I'm good at individual shots, right? Like I can hit a basket, hit a basket, make a basket. I can hit the people believe me after that. I don't know about now, because with glasses, but I think I'd be decent at getting shots in, right? They make breaks back. But I can't, I can't dribble past him in way. No way. I can't even defend against him. So you put a locked down game by course where we're taking shots from different point of parts of the court field. What do you call it? The court. It's the court. I have a decent shot of it, at least going the distance. I still don't think I'd win, but I'll at least represent. I'll hit shots. All right. So Alan Arverson takes game one. Yes. Game two is stand-up comedy. Me, I win. There you go. We're tied. The series is tied. But I would love to see Arverson do stand-up. That would be so funny to me. It would be reverse funny. It'd be so bad as funny, you know, which I would be endlessly using. I agree. All right. This next one is also kind of like improv. Who wins in a rap battle?
- Not me. - Really? - No way. 'Cause I can't rhyme quickly. Like Gato can rhyme quickly. Sound those music and he can do songs, like improvise songs, you can't do it. I cannot, I famously, we did a Texas episode of "Improximal Doggers" and they wanted me to rap a cowboy song. And I was like, the name of the song was, we, we doggies, don't you know? And it's a famous clip. It goes, and I'm like, we doggies, don't you know? And I couldn't think of the second line. I couldn't rhyme, you know, with anything. No, I would get trounced. - Okay, so it's 2-1-A-I. - Yeah, yeah, okay. - And a practical Joker's competition. - What do you mean? - I was in, how you have the thumbs up, thumbs down? - I would. - You think A-I could compete. - Good, Alan Iverson would never hang off the side of the Empire Sea. - You don't think so? Only, no one knows. No other guy on Jokers would do it. I did it. - Is that a challenge, A-I? - Sure. - If he wants to compete with me, repelling down the Empire Sea, you're on. - You're on. - Okay, very nice. - Is he watching, I don't know. - Well, we'll see. The next one is a fishing competition. - This is game five, we're tied to two. - I've never gone fishing in my life. - Okay, so I'm gonna say A-I takes that. - Has he ever gone fishing? - Apparently he's very into fishing. - Really? - Yeah, I picked, I chose some of his hobbies here. - He takes it, I've never gone fishing. I went fish quasi fishing once in Staten Island, on Staten Island, with my buddy, and we didn't catch anything. Nor would we have ever kept it on the shores of Staten Island, didn't go on something. - It would look kind of like the villain in your life. - It probably would. Staten Island has evolved differently than the rest of the others, you know. - Yeah, no, Iverson takes it. - Shoot, I'm down. - Okay, you're down. - You're down three, two. - Three, two. - That's what might be a top mark. - Best of seven or what is it? - Best of seven. - Oh man. - You need to take game six. - Yep. - Golf. - Iverson wins. - Really? - I'm any golf, I can't golf. I only golf comedically as a joke, just to get drunk. So the only time we've golfed isn't like celebrity charity events. Like we did Geter's big celebrity golf thing a couple of times and those are a lot of fun, but we're there for comedic relief, you know, to get drunk with the high rollers, the big people that are donating, stuff like that. And we can't hit, I can't do anything, man. I don't understand the physics of golf, I don't get it. I don't understand. - Don't get 'em started. - Like, I knew I could ski before I ever skied, yeah, I knew I could do it. Like I understood the physics of gravity and the hill and going from side to side, I just knew I could parallel ski before I took a lesson and I could. I don't understand snowboarding, I don't understand it, I don't get golf, I don't understand how the club (laughing) a driver I get, a driver I get, it's a big freaking, you know, hit it, bam, it goes far. But the wedges, the irons, the wedges that are on a slant, where's the edge, like a baseball bat, baseball I get, right? I was always good at baseball, I get it. Bat, blood, I understand physics, I hit in the ball, different, I get it, right? But a wedge that's on an angle, where's the ball, hit the wedge? Where? - It's very gallant. - He's can't hit the base, the top, but the angle's against the ball, so he can't hit square on. I don't understand the physics of it. I ever said frickin' it. - You also hit down at a wedge to hit it up, which doesn't make it make even less that. - I don't get it, I don't understand it. - So, hey, I take that one. Game seven's for pride, then. - Okay. - Who's the better dressed? - Dressed? - Freakin' irons. (laughing) - Damn it, I got swept, man, those five, two. - Well, irons is also worth like $100 million, you know? - This is probably got a team of dressers. - Yeah, he probably has that. - I got my wife's order in Cofandi, which is a Taiwanese knockoff brand. - Sounds fantastic. - And she orders her like she in, 'cause I don't shop for myself at all anymore, I haven't shopped in a year. I hate shopping. And so my wife orders like a box of Chinese knockoff clothing and it arrives like a big box, it's called Cofandi. - I like that. - C-O-O-F-A-N-D-O. - So you get your clothes for the year? - And so like a box of Cofandi arrives, it costs like $6, and that's what I wear. $6, that's insane. - You're not that short, though. - She made this custom. - Okay. - Yeah, but it's like, oh my clothes are Cofandi. So I was in takes it, man. - All right. - I kind of lost you there. - Yeah. - Kind of lost you there. - I got destroyed. - Do you wanna do one more? - Yeah, we only have one more for you. It was just about Joker's. - Okay. - Because we were gonna bring up, hanging off the side of the emperor's state building, but we already talked about that. But we wanted you to rate and practical Joker punishments one through 10, like 10 being the worst punishment. - Okay. - One being the worst punishment. - One being the worst. - Wait, no, I was just saying like, on a one through 10 scale. - Oh, oh. - Just like a 9.5 out of 10. - Yes, punishment versus, okay. - Yeah. - Just kind of rating, I'm rating. - Okay. - Like a bar stool pizza rating. - Got it. - Got it. - All right. - I've never seen bar stool. - I've heard of it. - You live under a rock. - I mean, that's so much immediate entertainment. - I know. - He's writing poetry movies. - I'm just not a practical Joker. - I've seen clips. I think I've been on bar stool. Bar stool is at the end bar stable the last week. - Oh, were they? - Yeah. - Oh, there you go. - I've been on a clip of me when viral on bar stool. I was at my wife's from Philly. So we go to Eagles games. And you know, when Eagles fans, they shout, "Go birds, go birds." And so there's a clip of me in the stadium and going, "Go birds, go birds." This is not like idiots, right? But I mean, it's hysterical to me as a comedian, you know. God bless, go birds. But also, so Bar stool picked it up and went viral. - Okay, fair enough. So I know of it. - Rate these a practical Joker punishments one through 10. - Okay. - One being the easiest, 10 being the worst. - One being the easiest, 10 being the hardest. - 10 bar stool pizza rating. The first one is the human pinata. So we have a little, a little description from Google. - Yep. - So Mer was dressed in a padded suit and suspended from a crane while kids from a birthday party took swings at him with sticks to break open candy. - Yeah. (laughing) - Seven. - Seven. - Wait, so wait, one's the easiest? - Oh, like a seven out of 10? - Well, wait, one's the easiest tens the hardest. - Yeah, like a, like a, okay. - Okay, so I'm sorry, I screwed up. I would say three. - Oh, it wasn't that easy. - It wasn't that bad. What am I doing? They're just getting kicked out of me. - I feel like that's not right. - I don't have to do anything. I just hung there like a pinata. - That's true. - What type of punishment do you think is the worst? Like, is it heights? Is it embarrassment? Is it pain? What is it? - Heights in embarrassment, for sure. - Okay. - Pain I can deal with and have dealt with. - Yeah. - But yeah, heights in embarrassment. - Okay, sure. - That's fair. - Yeah, I say three. It's not that hard to pinata. - Well, the second one might change your mind on the prostate exam. - Yeah. - You had to get a prostate exam on camera. - Yes, I got, I've gotten four now on TV. - I've gotten four prostate exam. - Oh yeah, they've given me four. It's a running joke. So. - It's comedic. - Yeah, for the comedy. I would say it's embarrassing as hell, but both were in public scenarios. I got two back to back by two different doctors. Is that, is it one to 10? One being the easiest 10 being hardest? Well, I just bent over, man. - Yeah, I mean, like, I didn't have to do a lot. It wasn't a lot of heavy lifting for me. Other than take it, as they say. I always say that's a five. That was tough. It was embarrassing. - It's a little bit worse than the human. - Definitely worse than, yeah. Does it get easier as you go? The fourth time was easier. - Does it get worse? - As you go, is that the question? - Yeah, the whole gets looser. He's wondering. All right, the next one is the wheel of piercings. So Murat, to spin a wheel that dictated where he would get a real body piercing, he ended up getting both his nipples and his belly button pierced on camera. That was painful. The nipples were very painful. - You still have 'em? - No, I took 'em out. I took 'em out. But I think stretched my nipples out as a result. - Also, we're filming this in the summer, which last time I was on the winter was very cold down here. - No, look, they've calmed down this time. - Yeah, nice down here. - It was like, we were here February, right? And it was like 10 degrees. It was such a cold winter. And I came here and the frickin' headlice were out, man. It was like vibing. - The start of the five guys, too, it was great. So, the piercings were painful. Yes, I would say that was six. - Okay. - Yeah, that was very painful. - So, that's the toughest one so far that we've listed. - Yeah, fair enough. - Swimming with sharks. So, the guys took Murat to see through his actual passport into a cage in the ocean and forced him to scuba dive with live sharks to retrieve. - I, my least favorite punishment ever in 16 years. - Really? - Because, even like Empire State, I'm terrified, crying, but it's hysterical. And I'm absolutely, existentially terrified doing it. I still felt like I performed well as a comedian, right? Especially like outside the glass, messing with salt, dabbing, I'm doing macarena, just to mess with my friend. So, I still feel comedically I did well, right? And at one point, I'm swinging like a pendulum bomb on the Empire State Building and I'm looking up at the cameras that are on the 103rd, 104th floor of the cameras looking down at me. And I said, I was so confident at that point. I was like, King Kong ain't got nothing in a mirror. I'm shouting out, right? Like, I feel like I performed well comedically. The shark punishment, I was so abject terrified. - Yeah. - That I feel that I did not perform well as a comedian. - It's hard to when there's sharks in there. - Keep in mind too, we're in Hawaii, we're 10 miles off the shore. And so the waves, the waves swells are like 20 feet high. And so the cage is going up and down and I'm getting banged around the cage. And the sharks are all around me. And we have big, big sharks. These are Hawaii sharks, not like little whatever. And I'm looking out, I see hundreds of sharks around the cage and there's no top to the cage. And the swells are 20 feet high. - That's terrible. - So I'm like, at any point, a shark can come over swell into the cage and I'm dead, right? And it's my number one fear. So I don't think I performed well as a comedian. So for me, that was nine. - Really? - For sure. - Damn, okay.
- That was absolutely terrible. - The ocean is my biggest fear as well. - Yeah, yeah, not fun. - So much unknown. - All right, and the last one is skydiving. You are terrified of heights, and the guys force you to skydive. We talked about a little bit earlier. Where's it rate? - Well, that was my number 10. - Really? - Until Empire State, it was. For years it's been number 10, absolutely. And then I scaled the Empire State building. - Yeah. - Which you see on TV would be the mid-season for me or in January. - So would you put skydiving at like a 9.5? - 9.5. - Empire State at 10 now. - Oh yeah. - That was the worst punishment you said. - What got me with skydiving is I truly didn't know. You see my reaction on camera. So there's no way to fake that reaction, right? Like, I legit thought, and they had creative packets, like 20 pages of jokes and things we wanna try to play instructors. So I just never assumed we were gonna go skydiving. I thought legit we were training students on the ground. And we've done it before, like being instructors and teachers, whatever. We've done it a million times on the show. So no part of me thought they were gonna reverse it and put me have me skydive, right? 'Cause they knew I was afraid of it. So I was, I fell for it, I fell for it. And Empire State, the only thing that's different with that is that I knew of it, right? And so we talked about it, like when we shot the intro last week, they're like, well, I said to the guys, they're like, "I can't fake skydiving." I can't fake like, what? And I'm not that good and accurate to fake a human reaction. So I have to own it. I have to say, so I downplayed it. When they say what I have to do, I just locked eyes with the cameras and I just didn't say the word. Like, this is just my lot of life, you know? Like, less or more. 'Cause I'm not gonna run off camera, I knew it, you know? And there's so much press there has been covered. How would I not know it, you know? So we didn't even try to fake it. We just owned the fact that Mernos is, he's gotta do this thing to me, you know? And it's still existential terrifying. So, yeah, I Empire State wins the day. You'll see it on TV in January, the mid-season premiere of "Jokers." - After you went skydiving, were you like that was fun? Or were you like, I'm never doing this again. - No, no, they're all lying, man. Don't go skydiving. Everyone that you hear is lying to you. They say, no, when you pull the cord and you just silent up there, you gently float to the earth and you feel like Zen won with the universe. Bull, bleep this. (beep) Bull, it is terrifying to the moment, you step foot on the ground, I'll tell you why. Go back to grade school or high school, right? What is gravity? 9.8 meters per second squared. Which means until the last three seconds of skydiving, if your shoot fails, you still die. - Yeah. - You still die. You can't survive a 30-foot fall. Until the last three seconds, if that shoot fails, you're dead. You break every bone in your body, you're dead. These are terrible odds. You would never play these odds in Vegas, man, ever. So no, there's no Zen moment. There's no feeling one with the universe. I was terrified to the last two seconds. I was on the ground. - I think that's his biggest fear. - I wouldn't do it. - So if we have, we're never doing that. - No, that's possible. - He said before. - You have a thing, if you don't do a punishment, like you're off the show. Like it's out, right? - Yeah. - But I'm not doing that. This podcast all year off the show. - We're not doing it. I'm not doing it. - Don't do it, don't do it. - You were when you're 85 years old. - Yeah. - So don't do a court. - Fair enough. - I'm gonna ask my last question. - Okay, go ahead. - Yeah, real quick. I want to go through it. It ties into the ending, the outro and we'll play it. - Oh yeah, and I want to talk about that. - Yeah, of course, of course. - Which was more expensive to make. Every single Marvel movie or the Hubble telescope. So it's just a guessing game. - Wow. The Hubble Space Telescope was overrun with cost. I'm a big science guy. Overrun with cost are you factoring maintenance 'cause we had to repair it. We put it up in orbit and the frickin' mirror wasn't intact. - I'm basing this off Google, but yeah. I'm assuming they factored that in. - I'm gonna say no. - No? - I'm gonna say it was just to make. - Marvel to maintain. - Marvel. - Marvel. - The Hubble Space Telescope cost hundreds of millions but then hundreds of millions more to fix when we put up an orbit. I would say, and you're not talking about maintenance over the past 20 years of the Hubble Telescope. So just the construction of it has to be Marvel. Marvel, I mean, God, the budget for Brave New World alone was over 300, over 300, and Doomsday is way more than that. Endgame was hundreds of millions. I go Marvel beats Hubble in terms of ultimate cost. - So it doesn't, but it's very close. - I'm a single Marvel movie, $14.92 billion. And the Hubble Telescope, I think the maintenance was it. I think the maintenance wasn't it, $16 billion. - You have to factor in maintenance that. - Yeah. - Because they put up the Hubble Space Telescope and then they realized the mirror wasn't, was that wasn't polished correctly. And like, we can't see shit. (laughing) All they saw was like, you know, all they saw was, you know, Stan Island. - I think when they looked at that, though, it's like, what do we do? The mirror's warped and had to fix it and cost billions more. - Take away the repair, I think Marvel wins. But we'll see. - The original Hubble Telescope was 1.5 billion to launch it. - Yeah, so I'm not wrong. - You weren't wrong, you weren't wrong. - Marvel beats the construction of Hubble. - You are correct. - The factoring the repair, that's where it gets cost. - Next up is the SpaceX Starlink satellite constellation. - Okay. - Or GTA-6. - GTA-6, what, the development of it? - The development of GTA-6. - All the money they put into marketing, the development, the creation. - GTA-6, my college roommate helped design that. - Really? - My other college roommate became a very well-known - New Yorkista game designer. - It became a very well-known-- - Alan Henderson, the creator of the Spider-Man game and all sorts of games. He became a very well-known, like, video game designer. So the launch of GTA-6, - Or the SpaceX Starlink. - Is hundreds of, hundreds and hundreds of millions of dollars? - Or Starlink, their whole satellite system, is thousands of satellites in orbit. Now, I just watched a video two weeks ago about the cost of it, of what Starlink costs. - So you should have a pretty good gauge on this. - So each satellite, each GTA, each GTA satellite, each Starlink satellite costs like $16 million to build and launch, I think, was the math in the video. And they've thousands of satellites in orbit now. - Mental math. - I go Starlink. - Starlink is correct, $10 billion for everything. GTA-6, the budget, do you have a guess worth? - I mean, GTA is such a huge game. Factoring marketing? - Oh, yeah. - I have to say, closer billion. - Two billion dollars. - Yeah, ridiculous. - Well, they have to make a back. It's iconic. - Yeah, they will make it. - My whole experience, I don't play video games anymore, but when I do play GTA, all I do is, I don't even know that there's a game. All I do is walk around punching people out. - Jumping in a cart and just mowing them down. - I'm surprised you know what it is. - Yeah, I haven't seen Deal or No Deal, you haven't seen all these other popular things. - I don't know, there's a game behind it. All I do is just knock people out. I never play the game. Just knock that, there's punching people. - It's kind of similar to what you would do to an orbit. - It cops immediately a call, they get chased shot and that's the end of it. The last match up, the International Space Station. - Okay. - Or don't move by James Murray. (laughing) - Don't, it feels like don't move. It's cost a lot of money. - But no, a space station for sure. - Yeah, it's that it's billions and billions and billions. You're talking about the duration of the ISS. - Yeah, problem, oh my God. - So many expansions and repairs. Now it's leaking air. They're about to retire it, send it down to the Pacific Ocean in a few years. - Oh, I did see that. - And it's the first to, we were about to hit in 2028. The first ever non-human presence of space consistent in over 25 years, right? Huge deal. And there's no replacement on the docket yet for ISS. So they're about to tank it. They're about to send it corining into the Pacific Ocean about two years. - That's crazy. - Thank God, because it's still leaking. - Yeah. - The whole Russian modules are leaking air and they've been trying to patch it, trying to patch it, can't find the leak. They thought they fixed it a few months ago. And guess what? It's leaking again, oxygen. - So you know all of this information, but you didn't know Deal or No Deal. - Yeah, ISS has to be in the tens of billions. - 150 billion dollars. - Yeah, my God, it's so expensive. The maintenance alone and the ship is holding cow. So how much? 150 billion dollars. And we don't have to reveal the budget of don't don't move, but it's a little bit less. - A little bit less. - Just a little bit less. - A little bit less. - But that takes us into talking about it. What do you have to say about the movie? - I'll tell you what, September 11th, right? - It comes out September 11th across America, we're playing in, so don't move is a creature feature thriller based on our book. In the movie is The Rapper Russ and his debut lead role, Lindsey Fonseca, Rob Riggle, T-Pain, cue from impractical jokers in the movie. When you make a movie, just like jokers, it is a multiple mountains decline to make a movie. Launching jokers was a mountain to overcome, trying to create a show, sell a show to a network, get them the green light of series, put all your heart and soul into making the best series possible. When we created a practical jokers, we thought we'd get canceled in day number one, right? And there's a very famous photo of the guys and I, it's dated December 15th, 2011, when jokers started on TV, and the guys and I are in a tight circle talking. And what I, what that picture was, that moment, I remember the moment distinctly.
is the guy's nice saying that shoot man, the show's gonna get canceled tomorrow. 'Cause the writing's gonna tank, no one's gonna watch it. But in this moment, on this Thursday night, to December 15th, we made it. We did our own terms, we weren't discovered, we weren't cast on the show, we just did it on our own, didn't stop until we did it, and made it on our own terms. And even we may be failures tomorrow, but tonight we're success. And I remember that moment succinctly. And making movie is the same exact way. When you make a movie, it's a million things need to go right for years, and just nonstop pushing, and putting your heart and soul into making it. Making sure the script is right, the castings right, racing financing is his own monster to overcome. Then pitching it to studios, hopefully they get to distribution on it. Then launching in movie theaters is a monumental task. And we're adding theater by theater across America. And we're about to launch Australia, and the UK, and Canada in the next two weeks, we'll be playing in 30 cities in Canada. And so every day I get reports, and we're about to, and I can say it here. - You can say it. - 'Cause it's gonna hit today or tomorrow, but AIMC is coming on board. - Yeah. - Yeah. - That's awesome. - Which hopefully will mean that Regal Cinemark will follow suit. So you gotta see it all. I'm good at announcing it like tomorrow, I think. So by the time this airs, it'll have been announced already. But AIMC is coming boards to carry the movie, which is like frickin' massive, man. - Yes, it's same. - The dream come true, but every day is like a struggle, and a struggle to hopefully get it more, in more and more theaters, and hopefully people see it. I promise you, we put our hearts and souls in this movie. The movie's great, it's a great day night horror movie. If you have the means for an indie movie like this, and it is an indie movie, we are launching it together, our team, and booking these theaters one by one across America. If you have the means, go to don'tmovemovie.com, you'll see a map of America, and soon to be a map of Canada and Australia and the UK as well. You'll see a map, and you can choose your local town, and the theater is playing it. For an indie movie like us, it depends entirely on you, and on pre-sales. So if you have the means, please go to don'tmovemovie.com. I promise it'd be a great day night horror movie. And so much so, I believe in the movie so much, that I took all of September off from touring. I don't have a single tour date in September. I'm traveling every day in September across America, just like we did on the impractical jokes movie six years ago, and I'm popping into 15 screens a day in different cities and states. I'll be all over the place in the premieres in New York City, and then Kent City and Los Angeles, the week of September 7th, and then I'm hitting all of LA in California, then I'm going to Texas, in Arizona, in Colorado, in Milwaukee, and New Jersey, in Staten Island, we're playing at the, we just announced yesterday, Alamo Drafthouse, the Staten Island came on board, literally a day ago, so I announced it last night on my socials, but I'll be popping the Alamo Drafthouse and hitting hundreds of screens all throughout September, because the reason I do that is that, and it doesn't matter where in the movie it is, like when I walk in the movie of Freeze, I'm there with a mic surprising audiences, taking a photo with everybody in the theater, and then I walk out and the movie will continue, because in my mind, in this day and age, you have a choice to see a movie in theaters or not, right? And if you're going to spend your hard earned money on $6 a gallon for gas and drive that movie theater, or get a babysitter, or get a puppy sitter, or what have you? And if you're going to spend your hard earned money to go see our movie, not only do I promise you the movie's great and you'll enjoy it, and you'll scream and laugh and cry during it, but I want to be there to personally thank you. You know, because you need that, right? You need that, and that's how much the movie means to us. So if you have the means, go to Don'tMoveMovie.com to get your tickets now, I promise you won't be disappointed. There you go. Oh, man. I'm all hyped up. Thanks, I can't wait. That's awesome. You're gonna love it. Is this the last, are there plans? No, I want to do, you better watch out, or newest one. I love that. It's a serial killer thriller. I want to make that next year. So, but I feel good we're going to get another of the season of Jokers, in which case, my schedule will be identical. I'll be shooting March through August of next year, and then I'll go into production on, you better watch out. Well, if you're looking for a star, I got a guy right here. I got a guy. He plays great opposite J. Jill and all. Oh, yeah. Also, I read the first chapter in that book, it kind of just gets right into it. Oh, yeah. So if the movie is anything like that, the movie begins, it's going to start off off. You can believe it. The movie begins more horrific. That's crazy. It is a, I did a bunch of like a podcast yesterday for these big YouTube influencers, you know, that do movie reviews, and they, we sent them a link to the movie, and they're like, what the hell? The movie, and they send them copies of the book too, and the movie begins more terrifying than the book does. That's hell. If you can imagine. Because I couldn't afford, I couldn't afford the beginning of the book. CGI, I couldn't afford it. They gave me a quote of a million bucks to the beginning of the book. I was like, well, we can't do that. So I rewrote the beginning of the movie, and it's more horrific. Yeah, that's crazy. And we're able to afford it. It's crazy. The beginning of the book takes place at like a state fair, like a carnival. Yeah, and a lot of men. There's a swing chair ride where you're roasted. Oh, okay. The movie begins more horrifically. Yeah, it's a great day. It's your horse. It's heights. It's moving. It's waiting around. Look, it's all pies back together. Well, there's September 11th. Go check it out. Don't move in theaters near you. We'll point everything in the link in the description of this video. This podcast and, Mary, thanks for coming on. You got to make sure you check out that area through the one, Jake Jalen Hall, Alien movie coming out in theaters in October. I think after, after your next one, I think that's the fault. I agree. I agree. And that's the podcast. That is the podcast. But we never forget to do what we did forget. But we're not going to forget in the future to do our membership shout outs. Yes, we actually sometimes do forget. But Mer was an awesome guest. Yeah, shout out to Mer. Shout out to all the impractical jokers. We have a new show coming out where we had Joe Gatto on again. Yes. It's going to air on Amazon Prime. But we'll tell you about that more. There's a release date. I don't know if we're a lot to say yet. But there's a release date. Twenty-first? Wow, it's over twenty-first. It's a great date. Before we get into the member shout outs, go check out Mer's movie September 11th in 500 plus theaters around the new USA. I love how they remade the cover for the book. Yeah. I love that Russ is the lead actor in it. Is she a famous actress? I feel like she is. It's the person that he said I forgot her name. But go check it out. I read the first chapter. It's awesome. I'm going to try to read a little bit more of it. Hopefully finished the whole thing because I don't read books. Now a major motion picture. Yeah. If you didn't know, we have a membership program on YouTube. Just go to our YouTube channel. Click the memberships and you get a shout out from us at the end of every single one of our podcasts. Zach, read them out. Thomas full. Unknown. Simon. Oh, no. Thomas Flynn. Unknown. Simon K. Cook's Troops is Christian. T-W-H-E-N-O-Divits. Knicks are off. James Scarlett. The Predator. Jared Hicks. The OG Lightning Emperor. Edward Scarmo. S-D-A-K-J. F-U. Brian. Hardy Collins. Joby. I know. It's me. Brandon Moore. Brian back Monday pod. Code makeshift. M-A-K-E-S-H-I-F-T on Legends. It's hammer time. 22. Conween. I love my wife too. Maui. Nigel Thorneberry. Six to six. Sam Rosewan. California Castle. Caleb Tates. Zoni Latte. The MX MX. Bending Boogers. Bending Boogs. Chef Mickey D. G. B.O. 778. Tom Hoff. 1996. Olsen Eric. Kinetics. Watch. Attack on time. One, two, three. Rave. I can never say this one. Rave. Captain Two. Ravello 64. And Gavin McClung 5160. Thank you for joining. Shoutout to you guys. You guys are the best, man. Yeah. A lot of filming. This is at the end of our filming, but we want to do something additional for the people. It's not additional. We do it every week. We do it every week. Alright. That's the podcast. Goodbye. Like, comment and subscribe, you guys. We'd never say that.
Podcast Summary
Key Points:
The top 10 highest-grossing domestic horror movies (not adjusted for inflation) are discussed, with *Jaws* (No. 3, $273.6M), *The Exorcist* (No. 4, $231M), and *Sinister* (No. 5, $214M) highlighted.
The list includes recent films like *Get Out* (No. 1, $328M, 2017 remake), *Get Out* (No. 2, $293.5M), and *It Chapter Two* (No. 6, $211.6M).
*The Grudge* is not on the list, though *The Quiet Place* (No. 7, $188M) is included as a strong horror title.
The final entry is *It* (No. 10, $175.1M), a Jordan Peele film, which confirms the list's focus on modern, award-nominated horror.
The discussion highlights the blending of horror and comedy, noting the shared structure and pacing between horror and comedy films.
A character auction game is played between the hosts, with Michael Myers and Jason Voorhees emerging as top contenders.
The hosts explore iconic horror villains, including Pennywise, Freddy Krueger, and Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde, with Anthony Hopkins' performance in *The Silence of the Lambs* cited as a benchmark.
A "Pick the Case" game creates a fictional horror movie combining Jake Gyllenhaal, Pennywise, and Area 51, resulting in a high-concept, sci-fi horror plot.
An improv game using 10 random words (pumpkin, Staten Island, candy, trampoline, pasta, teeth, scroll, torch, balloon, forest) leads to a layered, escalating horror narrative involving missing children, a reclusive woman, and a cursed pumpkin patch.
A hypothetical scenario is presented
Summary:
The conversation centers on a speculative top-10 list of the highest-grossing domestic horror films, not adjusted for inflation. Key entries include *Jaws*, *The Exorcist*, *Sinister*, *Get Out*, and *It Chapter Two*, with recent and award-winning films dominating. The hosts clarify that the list reflects current box office performance, not inflation-adjusted values.
A fun character auction game highlights the value of iconic monsters like Michael Myers and Jason Voorhees. The discussion also explores the overlap between horror and comedy, citing shared structures and pacing. A creative "Pick the Case" exercise builds a fictional movie featuring Jake Gyllenhaal and a killer clown in Area 51, blending sci-fi with horror.
A word-based improv game crafts a detailed, escalating horror story involving missing children, a mysterious woman, and a cursed pumpkin patch. Finally, the hosts explore a hypothetical scenario where a monster from *Don't Move* threatens a family, leading to a tactical response involving fire, barricades, and escape via a hidden attic hatch. The episode blends humor, creativity, and deep engagement with horror storytelling, emphasizing both its commercial success and cultural impact.
FAQs
The transcription does not provide a definitive list adjusted for inflation. It mentions that the list is not adjusted for inflation and includes recent films like 'The Conjuring,' 'Get Out,' and 'The Ring,' but no official ranking or data is given.
No, 'The Conjuring' is not mentioned on the list in the transcription. However, it is referenced as a recent horror film that might be on the list, but its inclusion is not confirmed.
The 2017 remake of 'The Conjuring' is listed as number one with $328 million, making it the highest-grossing domestic horror film mentioned in the transcription.
Yes, 'The Exorcist' is on the list and ranks at number four with $231 million in domestic gross sales.
Yes, 'Jaws' is mentioned as being on the list and ranked at number three with $273.6 million in domestic gross sales.
The film 'Sinners' is listed at number five with $214 million in domestic gross and is praised as a great movie that deserves recognition, with the host enjoying it personally.
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