#209 How Much Teams ACTUALLY Make At The World Cup

- How much money do teams actually earn at the World Cup? - Probably more than I think. - Yeah, probably a lot. - So every team gets a set amount of money to prepare for the World Cup. How much money do you think they get to prepare for it? - To prepare for it, they're granted this from the World Cup Committee, FIFA. - Like training, practice, all that stuff? - Yes, like travel expenses. This is what they can spend. - I'm gonna say it's a few million dollars. Let's go with six million. - $2.5 million just to prepare for the World Cup. - I overshot it, Brian. - Okay, the group stage exit. So if you lose in the first rounds of the World Cup, how much money do you win from FIFA? - Okay, first round, round of 16. I'm gonna go with-- - No, first round is not round of 16. - I thought you said the group stage. Oh, the group stage is not the knockout stage. - The group stage. - Oh, man, okay. So this is like if USA lost in their first three games and left. - You would have lost everything. - Yeah, I think you make like maybe 150,000 each. I don't know how many players there are. Let's go a million bucks. - Okay, you win $10 million guaranteed. - That's unbelievable. - I know. So if you just make the World Cup, you automatically win $12.5 million. - I think it's hard to qualify, so that makes sense. - It is. The round of 32, if you make it past the group stage, how much money do you win? - Okay, round of 32, past, is it not-- Oh, there's 16 games, right? - Okay. - 16 games, round of 32. - Mm, you're probably gonna make more money, so let's go $20 million. Let's double it. - No, it's not even close to that. It's $11 million per team. So the difference is only $1 million if you make it past the first round. - I thought it was the round of 16, I might be wrong. - I don't know. - The round of 16 is the next round. - That's how it goes. It goes half, half, half. - Yeah, but I didn't know how many teams were in the World Cup overall. I think there's like 48, so I figured a lot advance. - Okay, so if you make it to the round of 16, you get eliminated there. How much money does your team make? - I'm gonna say that team makes $13 million. - Okay, a little bit more, it's $15 million. So round of 16 is where you really start cashin' in. - Okay, and these are the teams as a whole. - These are the teams as a whole, so it gets split up between coaches players. - It's still good, that's like a five times profit. - If you're a quarter finalist, which I believe that this is the furthest the USA has ever made it, how much money do you make? - I don't even know when they made that, 'cause they lost in the round of 16, I believe in like 2002 or something. - I think it was 1930, they placed third. - Oh man. - Yeah, wow. - The first World Cup. - Okay, let's go with $20 million. - Okay, you'll make $19 million per team. - That just makes sense. - If you come in fourth place, how much money do you make? - Fourth place is gonna be more than that, 25 million. - $27 million. - We're going up in the world. - What about third place? - Third place has to be $30 million. - $29 million. - Why don't they like whole numbers? - I have no idea. - I think they're all whole numbers, but you know, rounded numbers. - The runner's up, so second place, what do they make if they come in second in the World Cup? - Second place in the World Cup has to make an astonishing $50 million. - $33 million. - Yeah, we really jumped the gun there. - And then the World Champions, the World Cup winners, how much money do they cash in on? - Winners of the World Cup. - Cash in on $50 million. Lock it in, bro. - It is $50 million. - Yeah. - That's a lot of mullah, a lot of cheddar. - Well, if they get, you said two and a half million, two million dollars to start. - Yeah, 52.5. - Yeah, pretty good. - So 25 times your money, basically? - Yeah, so people are making some good money. 48 World Cup teams in total. How they split how much money from FIFA in total? - In total, how much they split. I'm trying to do the math, add up. - It's gonna take two long. - Okay, take a guess. - Let's just go 120 million. - Okay, it's almost a billion dollars that they pay out. 871 million dollars from FIFA. - Oh, because it's each team that gets knocked out. So you're paying out 32 teams. What was it, two million dollars? - Each team, 10 million. - Each team gets 2.5 million. And then each team is guaranteed 10 million dollars if they lose in the first round. - Yeah, so that's a lot of money. - That's crazy. You talk about, well, I have a topic later. We'll talk about where it's like how much they fund into the economy for these different events and countries. - It makes sense. - And they're insane. It's top six. There's one that's way more than the others. - I'm sure there is. I also looked up a different topic about how much these countries spent to like their, what their budget was to set up the World Cup. The USA was on the lower end. - No, that's the list I'm talking about. - Oh, yeah. - Oh, we'll get there. - I know what the number one is. - It's a lot more than the others. - It's a lot more than the USA this year. - We'll talk about that later probably outside the podcast, but that works. - Okay. - Who you got went in the World Cup. - USA. - I truly think I was watching the match. Not truly think. - But there was like an inkling and a feeling when we were watching and there were up to nothing. - It's good vibes. - We're like, what'd you say the summer of the USA? - It's American summer. - And why is that again? - Because the World Cup's being held here. We're gonna win the World Cup. Justin Gayche, the second most recent UFC champion at the White House, took down the Spaniard. The next, the biggest city in the United States won the championship. - Yeah. - It's a lot happening in the US. - We're moving in a positive direction. - Everyone likes the US. Here's my take on the USA men's soccer team. - Okay. - Find me of the mix a little. - Oh, do they? - Because they're winning, right? They're playing so well. They're not playing much talent. Like they're not playing the Spain's, the Argentinus, but they're dominating. They're doing what they have to do. Exactly what we talked about when the mix will be doing. - Yeah, it's exactly what they need to do. It's win these games for one, two nothing. Whatever it is. - There's two one and five one. - Two one and five one. - Still dogs. - You have to, I didn't like the only thing I didn't like was the own goals. It's like people are like, oh, like they're on the kick in the ball until their own net. - Yeah, but that happens in every sport. That happens in hockey all the time. - Yeah, and you have to give yourself the opportunity to get there. - Yeah. - You put the cross and that makes it happen. - I was talking to what's his name at the glass box for Fox one. - Awesome. - And I was like, yeah, Austin. And I was like, is it similar to hockey because I don't watch that often of soccer. Like where they just get shots around the net and there's deflections that happen all the time. He was like, people do that all the time. Own goals happen all the time. - Increase your odds. - Yeah. - That's part of the game. - Oh, I'm voting for USA, obviously. That there was a story that KFC from Barstool did. And it was about like one of our strikers. I think he's like number nine or that's the position on the field or whatever. - Okay. - And he was like originally from the UK, but then also had like Nationality somewhere else. But he was born in the US off like some weird circumstance. - He was playing as he was playing. - And then what's being recruited for, he was being recruited by those countries and then wound up going with the US because he was like, my mom wanted me to play here. - Good. - Also the most playing time. - True. I wasn't gonna play that much in England, but he's a star on the US. - That makes sense. - Yeah, true. - Good for him. I don't know who it is, but I know Western McKinney. - Yeah. - It's my dog. - I know him and politic. - Yep. What's his first name? - Oh my God. - Christian. - Christian. - Christian. - There you go. - I just see you in a second. I mean, a process thing sometimes. - Welcome back to the podcast. Welcome back to the pod. We have an insane schedule coming up. - Yes. - And we have a lot of updates to give the people. This is pod two and nine, by the way. - Okay, hit with your updates. - Yes, two and nine. - First update, we hired our first full-time employee. - Yeah, well, okay. - And he's behind the cameras. - Yeah, so he's right over here, full-time, full-time. - He's contracted. It's contracted work. - He's contracted. - Yeah, full-time, we got to give him benefits. - No, no, he's not 26. - Oh, he's not 26. - He doesn't need to. - He's on his own plan. - We got him for like four years, five years. - That's a good investment. - Do you wanna get up in the pod? - God. - Oh, yeah. - To say hi. - Well, this is somebody who needs a fresh cut every single time he's on camera. - I don't have a fresh cut, it's sickening. - People know him. - We'll share the mic here. - It's Anthony. - It's still my side. - What's up, guys? - He's on a makeshift music. - What is this, two and nine? - Two and nine. - Pod, two and nine. - Don't follow makeshift underscore music on all platforms. - All right, all right, all right, all right. - All right, get him out of here. - Get him out of here. - So he's gonna be our new Jamie or Anthony behind the camera. So whenever we like look it up on our laptops, we'll have somebody doing that for us. - Wow, his name's Khan. - Khan. - Khan's video on the jar of the other day. We'll put it in the box. - It's good. - Let's cut to that. - Yeah, we'll move it around. - Yeah, let's move it around. Oh my goodness, phenomenal. - Other updates? - Do you have any or should I share? 'Cause I just want you to go through the insane schedule. We have this summer. - I know what you're gonna say, but go, yes, tell the people. - So we go for the July. That's just a week of celebration, especially for the American summer. - We film on that Monday. We fly to Reno on Tuesday night or Wednesday night to Lake Tahoe for, we're playing in a pro-am there for the American Century Championship. - Oh, special. - And then we're playing around a golf at Lake Tahoe Golf course on that Thursday. Filming a podcast, either that Thursday or Friday. Saturday we fly back. Monday we go to the home run derby. We find time to film in between that. We go play in the pro-am at NJ Golf at Morris County Country Club on that Wednesday. - It's the first time I'm hearing about that. - We go to the city pickle event on that Wednesday as well, that Wednesday night. And then we go to Fanatics Fest for four straight days. Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday. And then after that, July 19th comes, I guess July 20th, we get a little breather. - Okay, but also at Fanatics, we have two live shows on Saturday and Sunday. You guys got to cop your tickets, come check it out. - So I'll introduce that a little better for the people. - We're gonna be at Fanatics Fest. - We're doing two live shows Saturday and Sunday at Fanatics Fest in New York. - Do you know what Fanatics Fest is? - I know what Fanatics Fest is. It is the number one sports fan festival out there. - It literally is, we went last year for the first time. It was, it blew my mind. - It was insane how many athletes and celebrities weren't one place at once. - Newsbroke, Kevin Durant got traded to the Houston Rockets there last year. - While he was on stage. - It was awesome. - I think they planned that. - They might have. - They had to have planned that. - It's insane though. - It's taking place July 16th to 19th in New York City at the Javits Center with our appearance being on the 18th and the 19th. They gave us two shows, which is shocking, but I love it. - I can't believe it, but then- - Let's go. - Fans can meet athletes and icons from across sports and entertainment worlds. Shop exclusive merchandise to Fanatics and watch live podcast tapings, including ours online. - Yep. - You wanna know the best part about it? - What's the best part about it? - We got this last year, we got it again this year. - We did. - We have a discount code. - Yes! - So if you wanna go, you got 10% off if you use code MakeShift10. - MakeShift10, baby. [BLANK_AUDIO] - Call it out for the people. - M-A-K-E-S-H-I-F-T-1-0. - M-A-K-E-S-H-I-F-T-10. - 1-0. - Yes, 1-0. For a 10% discount code, it's gonna be in the link of this podcast. We'll put it in our link me or link tree, whatever we have. And people go check it out and see us live as well as your favorite athletes, celebrities and people. - We're gonna be doing a lot of fan interaction. So we're gonna have like, I think we're gonna do one podcast one day and maybe one just like have fun, bring fans on stage, play games in real life. - We can do anything. - I think it'll be a lot of fun. There's nothing anyone out there. - And all in between all those events, we have to prep for these shows. - Yeah. - Oh yeah. - It's gonna be fun. - July seven to 19th. - We're gonna figure it out. - The schedule from hell, but also so much fun. - It's gonna be a lot of fun. - When you feel like we go on work trips, they don't feel like work trips. - Not really, especially this one because we're gonna be playing golf. - Oh yeah. - It's gonna be a golf trip. - There's Bears and Tahoe. - That's okay. - Little horrified. - That's okay. - My mom was telling me all about it. She got me nervous. - I'm good with it. - I love Bears. - Grizzlies. - Bimony. - That doesn't work. - Bimony. - That's not big. - Bimony. - It's something. But yeah, go check out the link in our description. If you want to go to Fanatix Fest, see us, your favorite celebrities and athletes. It's gonna be incredible. - Yeah, it's gonna be a lot of fun. I've been looking forward to it since last Fanatix Fest. It was so much fun. Other updates, at the end of the podcast, we have a very special clip to show you guys. - Yes, a very special clip. It's awesome. Brian requested it and we got it. - Some of fan made it for us. We'll tell you guys after. - And then we're gonna be opening something up. - Yes, we got a literal care package. The ones that drop from the sky in the video game Call of Duty. So we're gonna open it up with a crowbar. - Crowbar, yeah. - With a crowbar that they gave us and show you guys what's in it at the other bar. - How do we get it here? - Did I drop it from helicopter? - They might have. - I think they did. - It's a really big pack. It's right behind this camera. - They parachute it down and everything. - So you guys are gonna, I know what's in it. Zach has no idea. It's an interesting one. It's fun. - All right, onto the podcast. That's good. I was thinking maybe we move the updates to like the third segment. - What do you think? - We each, though, we could try stuff. - I feel like our views on our long-form podcasts on Spotify are going up. - Yeah. - Well, they promote us, too. And then we get like a little boost for a little bit. - All of them are hitting like 15K. - We're gonna do more, too. Now that we have a con behind the camera. - Con behind the camera. - Oh, that's another update. We're gonna be posting long-form videos. We're trying for every Monday in studio outside of, whatever it is. - Yeah. - But that's our next, we're dialing in 'cause now we have an employee. - I just feel like maybe we do two segments and then we go into updates. So people stay around for the, I don't know, we'll say. - Do people not like the updates? - I think they do. I just think like, if you're a new viewer and you come in, I think it might be, but it's fine. - It's fine, everything's fine. Speaking of the World Cup, trophies, I have a lot of kind of those type of topics in our game time and our podcasts today. - Okay. - See, you got the soccer player for soccer. - Go on. - I love that. I want to share some information that I didn't know and I learned, okay? - Okay. - These are six sports where you return the trophy after you win it. - Ah, I know one. - So trophies that you don't keep, what's one of them, Brian? - The FIFA World Cup. replica trophies are given out and then the real trophy made of solid gold is sent back to Zyrk. I can't say that. - Zyrk. - Zyrk. - What were you gonna say? - I don't know what it was. - Zyrk. - I was trying to borrow zest onto it. - Oh, 'cause you're a little zesty sometimes. We all know. - Keep it in, we're keeping it in. - The World Cup is one of those trophies. They send out replica trophies to the players who won and the real trophy made of gold is sent back to Zyrk. - Switzerland. - Switzerland, yes. - It's made of solid gold. I think that's ridiculous. - I think it's like 20 million plus dollars, but you can't have it or keep it. - Yeah. - After the ceremony, after the event, it's actually sent back to Zyrk. - That makes a lot of sense. I wouldn't want to be responsible for a solid gold trophy. - I wouldn't either. I know another one. It's like two expensive to keep. Yeah, what else? - The Stanley Cup. - The Stanley Cup is another one. It returns at the start of the next season. - Yes. - So I think teams get to go on like a tour with it, share it for a hundred days past the season. - Yeah, I believe every player on the team gets like a week with it. - Which is so much fun. - Yeah, they can do it. - Why would you do it? - There's no limits to it. You can do whatever you want with it. - I think they need like a shaperone of the trophy to go around with you though. So you kinda just like have a creepy guy in the background like making sure you take care of the trophy. - It's kinda weird. - It's getting big though. That trophy's gonna be like a tower by the time we're 80 years old. - Yeah, so it layers at the bottom. - They just had? - They've been adding since the first NHL Stanley Cup. - I wonder if that'll ever switch it. I don't think they're going to. I think that's the fun about it. - What's another one? Do you know any others? - I'm a, the NBA champion. - They all don't have to be trophies. - Okay. - They're awards that are given out. - Well, what about the Super Bowl? - The Super Bowl? - No. Super Bowl is an original trophy every single year. - Oh, and they keep it and they put it up. - Yes. - I would know that. - I worked at the Giants. - I'm gonna tell you one. - UFC belts. - UFC belts, yes. I don't count, like, yes, that's part of it. That's not one of the ones I listed. The Master's Green Jacket. - Oh yeah, you don't keep that. - The Master's Green Jacket, the winner must return. The coveted Green Jacket exactly one year after their victory. - But then, don't they get to wear a Green Jacket whenever they want? - I think they get to take it out, but, like, you have to wear it on the premises or for a special occasion or TV appearance. - 'Cause the dinner before the Master's, like the Master's winner dinner, they all wear a Green Jacket. - But they keep it at the clubhouse. - Yeah, so they have it in, like, their locker or something? - Yeah, so when you win, you got a locker, you got a jacket, it's there, you could wear it on grounds, or if you request to take it out for something. - It has to be approved by the USGA. - It has to be approved. - There's three more kind of random ones. One soccer-related, can you think of it? - The Champions League Cup. - The Champions League trophy. It's returned after the finals match and celebrations happen. - That makes sense. - That's the same as the FIFA World Cup, yes. - Another one, kind of a random sport. - Cricket. - The World Cricket Cup trophy is returned to Dubai. - Oh, Dubai! - I don't know why it's in Dubai, but that's fine. - 'Cause it's rich. - After Post-Match celebrations and promotors, the trophy goes back and everyone gets replica trophies. - Interesting, I like that. - There's always thought it was like, I don't know, like create a new trophy every year, but these are like the prize possession. - Yeah, I mean, I think that it makes more sense to have one. - Right? - That makes sense. - I feel like there should be one trophy, like the Stanley Cup, like the World Cup trophy. - But then you have the NBA finals, the Larry O'Brien and stuff. It's like, it's one made for that year, each individual year. - I think they should. - I don't know what print the names all on like the bottom of the NBA finals. - Seems like a lot. - I know. - I don't know what I-- - I don't know what makes more sense to recreate a trophy or have the same trophy. - Well, so you should have it. - So like put up like in your rafters. - Yeah, but get like a showcase for your team and stuff. - Well, you put it in like the Giants have it in their practice facility, they have four. - Yeah, but well, that's an actual trophy, but if you got to give it back, it's like you have it for a little bit then give it back. - Well, yeah, but then you get a replica. - And all the players get replicas or rings. - They get rings and then there's one replica for the team. - Yes. - And the last one. - F1. - The F1 Grand Prix. - What's one? - It's the one in Miami. - The Miami F, the Miami Grand Prix. - This team keeps the original and the drivers receive replica trophies. - That's interesting. - I didn't know that. - It's a Grand Prix like their version of a, like a Master's. It's like a Grand Slam. - It's every race is a Grand Prix. - Really? - Yeah, it's a race. - Did not know that. - Pretty sure. - I thought like Grand Slam Grand Prix, like maybe there's four majors throughout the year. - No, I wish I had, I wish I had our Anthony to look it up. - Yeah, I wish he was here. - It is in the other room. - He's in the other room. - I won that because I'm posting. - It's fine. - Everything's fine. - What's the best trophy in sports? - Oh, Grand Prix is the main event of race weekend. So it's every race. It's every Sunday. - Every Sunday is a Grand Prix. - It's like the Monaco Grand Prix, the Miami Grand Prix, the Vegas Grand Prix. - I don't know if it's because I'm caffeinated, but I feel like you are hitting the table a lot. - Maybe it's just that right now. - Yeah, you're making good points though. - That's what I do when I make the points. - I think it's 'cause I'm distracted. - The best trophy in sports is the Stanley Cup. - You think so? - Like if you could win one trophy, Stanley Cup. - It's the Stanley Cup? - It's the coolest trophy. - Is it? - Yes. - Okay. - What else is it? - No, I think I would want a green jacket, but that's not really a trophy. - Well, they have a trophy for it. No one talks about the trophy 'cause the green jacket's like the thing. - I was just saying like the coolest thing. - Yeah. - Like I'm obviously not a hockey player, so I don't really care for the, to win a Stanley Cup. I'd probably rather win an NBA championship. It was me. - I just feel like it's not that cool looking. - Oh, it's sick. (laughing) - It is so cool. - You drink beer out of it, right? - Chocolate milk. - Chocolate milk. - I would do chocolate milk. (laughing) Not many people win that though. - I feel like that ruins it. - So I wanted to say if you are in the top 1% of people. - Oh, I could do that. You ready? - Probably I'm, yeah. - If you can do all highly, highly, I actually know that you are not. - Oh, we'll see. - You are in the top 1% of humans on Earth if you can do all of these things. - Let's put it to the test. - Okay. - Can you cook a three-course meal from scratch? Oh, yeah, from scratch? - Yeah. - If I have a recipe, that does not count. - I feel like it counts. - It doesn't count. - Well, you get some flour, you get some water. - And then what do you do? - You mix it. - And what do you make? - Pasta. (laughing) - Flour and water. - Right? Or you can make pancakes. You didn't say what meal it's for? - A three-course meal. - Yeah. - So what are you gonna make? - Oh, I'll make some dessert. You get some flour, some water. - And you make some milk. - And you make cookies or cake? - I need eggs in that. - Yeah, yeah. I didn't get to it. You didn't let me find it. - Okay, okay. So we're gonna count that as a no. - I challenge you, but yes. - You suck. - Can cakes, grilled cheese, I make a steak. - You have to make it from scratch. - Yeah. - Oh, I don't know how to make bread. - Exactly. Okay, so no. - Yeast. - Can you speak three languages fluently? - You need yeast. - And I answer for that one. - I can speak English, but I can't speak any other language. - Yeah, we're gonna say no for that one. Can you build a working app in one day? - Depends on my platform. - How would you go about building a working app? - I think I would have to use a program. So I'm not gonna code it. - What program would you use? - Like you could probably use a work place. - A work doc? - No, no, no, no. What's that place? - You really even know where to go to build the app? - What's that word press? Word press? - Okay. - Word press does a mobile. - You could probably design a mobile app. - We're gonna say you're zero for three. Or, or you could use Python. - You're zero for three. - Python's a good one. - Can you solve a 1000 piece puzzle in one day? - Yeah. - I've done that before. - Have you though? - Have you though? - No, see, I do a little method. I have a thing where I sort the pieces out based on how many kind of prongs they have coming out and like the open ones. - What an absolute genius. - Well, once you get to the end and they're all the same color, you need a method. So I have the method and then I look and then I narrow down my pieces. - Okay. I don't think you've done that, but I'll count it. - I can do that easily. - I don't think you can. - Can you read a 300 page book in one day? - I definitely can. - Have you? - No, but I can. - Have you gotten close to that? - I've read 40 pages in like 30 minutes. - 40 pages. - Yeah. So do the math. I'd be finished with that 300 page book. - What was the book? - The Elements of Scoring by Raymond Floyd. - You sure it wasn't the Dr. Seuss? - Screen eggs and ham? - It's the last. - How big was the font? - It's decently big and the book's kind of small, so. But it works. It definitely works. - Okay. Can you draw a face from memory that looks real? - Yeah, I wish we had a pen and paper. - It would save, if you did your face, it would save you like 30 minutes. - Oh, 'cause he doesn't have hair. - I drew this face. - Exactly, no hair. But you drew that based off a photo. - That took me 10 weeks. - Not from, not from memory. - Can you see it? And the, oh, there he is. - It's the light. - That wasn't from memory though. - No, no. - I like, I like gridded it. I did the whole thing. Like that was very cheat code drawing. - Okay. - It's from, like, no way. - Can you memorize 100 digits of pi? - Yeah. - No, you can't. - Give me five minutes, I got it. I could probably do it. No, I can't. - What is this extremely cocky's act today? - I thought you're cocky, but this is really cocky's act. - Well, I'm just trying to think like if you, if I had to do it within like an hour, I feel like I'd come up with like a song or like a method. - An hour? - It's 100 digits. Brian, I cheated. - I challenge you to do that in an hour. I'll pay you a thousand dollars if you could do that. - I don't really want to. - Exactly. - Well, the thing is-- - Wait, can I say something first? - Yeah. - I took my Spanish final in high school and someone got the answer key and it was a 200 question final. And I did my best to memorize the first 40 or 50 answers. Multiple choice. I did that within probably an hour, hour and a half. - Okay. - So I feel like the digits of pi, I could probably get decently close. - That was 40. - Well, I'm also, this was 10 years ago. - So my brain developed since then. - I think it's underdeveloped now. - Probably. Downhill. Can you fill a world map from memory? - No. - Don't even say it. - Don't even say it. - Can you fill it to Europe? - Can you do US? - Yeah. - Wow. - No. - Shut up. - There's, I would bet you a million dollars you couldn't do that. - If I saw the states. - Let's do it. - On like an actual map. - Let's do it. - We'll do it later. We can do it later. - I would love to do that. - There's a long form video for this upcoming Monday. - No chance that you can do that. - I could try though. - I feel like I could get pretty much-- - Everyone can try. - No, but if you get, so what are we talking here? Is this a map already like gritted out? - Yes. - Yeah. - Oh. - No, no, no. I can't do that. - I'll pay you $1,000. You only pay me 50 if you can't do it. - No, I'm not doing that. - I'll do it for $10. - No. - $10 to $1,000. - I'm not confident enough. - You don't want it. It's $10. - Yeah, I know it's $10. I just can't, I don't want them bad. - So you can't do that. - I mean, I'm gonna try it later. - So you can't do that later. - I can't. - But I might be able to, can you type 100 words per minute? - Yeah. - Hundreds fast. - I don't think I can do that. - I still do that. - Type of chopsticks. - There's no shot. You can do that. Sometimes I get other fingers involved. It's good. And I just, I cook a little bit. - Okay. So we're gonna say no. And then the last one, can you solve a Rubik's cube in under 60 seconds? - My fastest time is like 105. - So no. - Ah. - That doesn't mean under 60 seconds. - Well, I feel like if I practice, that's at a season I did 105. It's under six minutes, but you've never done it. Your best is 605. - But I can run, I'm just, it's a hypotheticals act. - Yeah. - That's like saying you can, but your best is 605. - I don't know if I have the stamina for it anymore. - I don't think you can do that. - I play basketball the other day. It was brutal. - Exactly. - So you can do like one of those things. - Yeah. - That's, so it's pretty advanced. - I play pickup basketball. - You can do the puzzle. - Yeah. - In the deck. - That's cool. - What was brutal was I play pickup basketball at Yale. And it's like a bunch of like students or graduate students that are there. Like in the off season. - Cardi is probably great. - Yeah, but I'm also, I'm also onc. - Yeah, obviously. - We are onc when we go play pickup basketball now. - I think we are onc period. - Yeah. - Look at my head. - Yeah. - Now we're in a hat. - I'm growing my hair out. - Yeah. - I'll cut some of it off. - I would take it. - What would you do with it? - Put it on my head. - How? - Glow it. - Do you want to do that? - No, I wouldn't be good as a blonde. - It's not even that blonde. - But it is blonde. - Really? - Dirty blonde. - Yeah, no, I'd play. - Dirty blonde. - Dirty blonde. I don't know, that song. - I felt pretty good playing that. It was fun. I'm gonna try and do that more often. - Good. - Unc status. I'm hearing a report from Con who said unc status. - Not calling it that. - 25 years old. - I've called him Anthony my entire life. - So we've been unc. - Oh, I've been unc all right. - I have a hypothetical for you. It involves drinking beer. - I love drinking beer. - Oh yeah. - You got a beer tower the other day. I was watching the FIFA World Cup game. - Did you finish it? - Well, it was between four people, but yes. - Did you do that after I left? - Yes. - I missed the beer tower. - Yeah, he did. - We went outside and sat in that little alley. On Stone Street in New York City, if you guys know. - Stone Street's sick. I wanna go, I don't know why we don't go there more often. It's so cool. - So this has to do with drinking beer. I came up with this because I've seen this debate with basketball, like how many layups can you make? - Okay. - Or a certain amount of money, we're gonna go for it. - Would you rather $10 million right now or get $500 for every beer you drink? - What's the math here? - Okay, the math, I could tell you the math. You wanna try and break it down yourself quick? - Yeah. - So $500 for every beer I drink? - Correct. - 500 times two is a thousand. - Yes, correct. - 500 times 20 beers is 10,000. - Yes, good job, Brian. - 20 beers is 10,000, which means 100 beers is 100 beers at $500 would be $5,000. $50,000, $500. - I don't know. - No. - 500 times 100 beers? - I don't know, just can you tell me the math? - 500, we are so stupid. We've just lost 500 times-- - Immediately, I want-- - $50,000 after 100 beers. - Immediately, I wanna say I would drink the beers. How big are these beers? Like a canned 12 ounce? - These beers are 12 ounce, yeah. - Okay, I would take the beers. - You'd take the beers? - 100%. - It'll also be so much fun or night out. You just go to the casino, have three beers. You have $1,500. - I would just become a alcoholic for my job. - For my job. - But do you think that would be okay? Like, it's the trade-off worth it. You're probably gonna get fat. - No, I don't think I would get that fat. - How many beers are you gonna have a week? - I think I'd try to have like 25. - 25 beers a week. - Yeah, is that crazy? - I mean, if it's your job, I guess not, right? - I feel like that's what. So 25, I mean, I already drink like 10 beers when I go out. So 20 beers a week with two nights out. - You'd break even at 19.2 years if you had 20 beers a week. - Or I could just take the 10 mil, put it in like a Marcus account, like a CD savings, and just get 3%. - Yeah, and then you could just drink beers whenever you want. - I think I would just do that. - You're not gonna take, so what if it was $1,000? - Then I would take the beers. - Her beer? - But I just feel like $10 million right now, where I just put $9 million into a stock account that grows to like three to five percent. That's a ton of money per year. That's hundreds of thousands of dollars a year. - But then you don't get to drink beer for money. - But then I drink for free 'cause I have a million dollars in my bank account. - That's fair. - So we'll do $1,000 if you want. - I would still take the 10 million. - Which means 30 beers a week at $1,000 would be six years you'd break even. - I'm just trying to think, if you put $10 million into a savings account that saves for three percent a year, what is that math? - That's gonna be $300,000 a year. - I'm doing that. - Okay. - Like I just feel like that's not smart to not take that money. And then it compounds over time. So say you save for 10 years. That's another million, like $5 million or something. - $2,000 per beer, Brian. - No, I think that-- - What money amount can I get you to? - I need to be-- - $5,000 per beer. - Then I would probably take that. - Okay. - I don't know the math, probably. - That would be, you'd get a fifth of the amount of time, I think. - Oh, I don't know if that math's right. - 25 beers a week equals $125,000 a week. - Yeah. - Yeah, I would take that. - So you're gonna take that $120,000. - Because you would break even if you had, so I guess $100 beers in a month. - That's $6.5 million a year. - Yeah, I would do that. - For $5,000. - $5,000 a beer? - Yes. - Who would be our friend that makes the most money doing this? - Probably you. - And self. - Is that a compliment or anything? - I don't say that much beer anymore. - Because you're in a cab etiquette. They don't have alcohol. - No, they have out there. - It's promise up there. - I drink it speak easy. - Yeah. - What friend would make the most money? - Probably our friend Chris. - Really? - I just feel like he'll be able to, he drinks on casual nights. He'll have like three beers at home. - Yeah. - Which I don't do that. - Can you imagine Mike to-- - Oh my god, he would be loaded. - Now that I know his last name, I have to bleep out his last name. - He would be loaded. - He'd be a Billy in there. - Because he could probably drink more beer than anyone I've ever seen in my life. - He could drink a 30 back. - I feel like we all have that one friend. - I don't understand how that's possible. I don't know either. It doesn't make any sense. - Even if you drink 15, that's a lot. - Maybe his body just clears it. Maybe he's not actually in taking it. - I wish I had our producer here. - What? - I was just gonna rip on him. - There actually is a small percentage of people that can just keep drinking. - Andre, the giant? - Yes. - But is that because of how big it is? - Well, I think it's a combination, but there's like a very, very small percentage of people I was reading about that can drink to a certain point, and then they stay that level drunk. - All right, I want disease where you can drink unlimited beer. - Google that. (laughing) - Get on it! - Yeah, we'll come back to that though. - It's fun having them back here. - What do you think the average person can drink in a week, in a day, in a night? - In a night out, like six hours a night out. - Six hours a night out. - To 9, 10, 11, 12, 1, 2, 8 to 2 a.m. - I mean, the normal average person probably six beers and they're like pretty drunk. - Really? - Yeah. - I think the average, I think we are bigger. - Yes, we are the minority. - We are just bigger. - Yeah. - 'Cause a lot of people take like the average person's probably weighs like 160 pounds. Like we weigh 45, 50 more pounds than that. - Yeah. - And then like a lot of people don't drink with their friends. Like I feel like we live in a part that like imagine someone out in like Wyoming. - They drink a lot. - They drink a lot. - I think actually New York is lower than you think. - Maybe more recently. - That's like how we were looking up Wisconsin drinks the most beers per round and golf. - Yeah. I think those people drink a lot more than to think. - That's true. - They don't have much to do with it. - 'Cause I had an old coworker in Texas. I guess like they don't send it as much but when they do, like they fully send it. - Yeah. - That makes sense. - He lives in like a, where's the left? - Amoreo, Texas. - Random. - Okay. - But what do they do out there? Like it's cold, it's snows, the roads freeze. They don't know what to do. - In Texas? - In Armourillo? They like, I have like unexpected snowstorms. And then the whole city shuts down. - Okay. - 'Cause they don't understand it. - Oh weekend, every five years you're talking about. - No, they don't know what to do here. - They don't know what to do. - Yeah, okay. That's three days out of five years of living there. - Just saying. - Wait, why would we bring it up the smallest percentage about a day's ever? - I think they would build an infrastructure where they're able to. - Hey, what's the point? - It happens three days in five years. - I wonder how many times. - Producer! - Look it up! - Look it up! - How many times have snowed? - Okay, what's the last thing? - We got a mic. - We do, we do. We'll get 'em a mic next time. - Next week, we're getting a mic. - That's actually thinking of auto brewery syndrome. - Oh, auto brewery system. - The opposite. - Oh. - So these people just eat food. And it ferments in their stomach and they just get drunk off food. - That is not what we're doing. - That's what I want. - You want it? - All right. - All right, first job we gave you? - Horrible. - You failed. - It just eats food. - We heard what you're talking about isn't it? - Okay, that's fine. I want to know how many days it snowed in Amarillo, Texas. That's AMA, R-I-L-L-O over the last five years. - It sounds like the color yellow in Spanish. - So on a red hot-o. - I think that is. No, on a red hot-o is orange. That's yellow is Amarillo. - 38 days. - 38 days over the last five years. Over the whole year. - 30 days over the last five years. - The whole city shuts down. - Over the last five years. - Yeah, 33.8 inches over the last five inches a year. - I'm just saying, it shut down. It's going to snow, they're toasts. - What do you think the average cuts reguts? - Or the average cuts. - I don't want to know it. - Well, I want to go into the average person. - Okay, let's do it. The average person can only do seven of these things. Let's see how you compare. - I'm sure I can do all of them. - Can you cast the fishing line? - Yeah, can you? - Yeah, you do the little loop and then you pin it up against and then you throw it and it goes out and you let go and then you flip the reel back so that you can actually reel it out. - You know when you reel, it flips the reel for you. - It depends what fishing rod you have. - It's all fishing rods. - Not all of them. Some of them you have to manually flip it. - Producer? - No, 'cause you could keep it loose if you want to. And then you let it bob and you go out there and then you can flip it back. Or you could reel it and it starts. - It's just reeling, I think. - I'm telling you, you could throw it out there and it could be loose. - Yes, but once you start reeling, yes, it'll click, but you could also manually do it. - That's what I just said. - And I'm just saying, we're saying the same thing. - No, I said that. - You could also manually flip it back. - Yeah, obviously you can do that. I'm saying every single one, if you reel it, it will go out, it will go back. - Yeah, yeah. - But you said no way. - If you want to keep the line. - No, check the tape. - You're right in the pot, check the tape. - Go back, you said no, it's not like that. - I know I did, but I'm correcting myself 'cause I'm man enough to do so. - We'll say you were wrong. - In front of our producer. - You were wrong. - I was wrong. - There you go, moving on. - I was also right, 'cause when you flip it, why would I want to reel it in a little bit? It's like you could flip it back. - I'm one of one. - One of one. - Okay. - I can also do that. Can you tie an advanced knot? - What do you consider advanced? - Not like a bunny or not like a double knot? - Like a monkey knot. - No, I can't do that. - A monkey knot? - I don't know what they call it. - What do they call it? - A slip knot? - I don't know. - Producer? - No. - No, I can't do that either. Can you use a fire extinguisher? - Yeah. - I'm gonna give you that one. - Two for three. - I'm gonna count that one for me too. - Pull the tab. - That's all of us. - Can you write in cursive? - Yeah. - No. - Yeah. - Or a producer cannot write in cursive. - They stop teaching it. - That's tough. - Yeah. - Yeah. - Yeah. - No. - No. - Yeah. - They don't want you to get on a microphone. - Okay. - It's fun. It's like a man pod. - Yes. - Yeah. - Can you sharpen a knife? - With what? - A knife sharpener? - Yeah. - Yeah. - You just pull it through it. - I thought you didn't know what a knife sharpener means. - You know what I like to do? I like to go out to the forest. I pull a nice good rock. Like a stone. And then you braise it against the rock and stone. It's a better sharpener knife. - All right. - Can you change a tire? - Depends on the day. - What do you mean? - Like, I think I can get myself through it. - Have you changed a tire? - I have changed a tire. - By yourself. - Kind of, yeah. - So no. - Like YouTube maybe? - Okay, no, you can't. - Or at least the steps. I think I've done it. You jack up the car and take the bolts off. - So if we went outside right now, you could change your tire without YouTube or help. - Oh, you know what? Triple eye cam. - Triple eye cam. - Okay, so you can't do that. - Triple eye cam replaced my tire for me. - I thought I was not happy with my tire. - I can change a tire. - I think I can too, but that's fine. I won't take that one. - Okay. - Can you parallel park like the best out there? - Not really, not good at it. You're so wrong. - I have pictures on my phone of tight spaces I've got an end to. - That's weird. - This much space on each side and I made it. I did it. - I got it done. - So we're going to say yes. I'm going to say yes as well. Can you patch drywall? - Yeah. I did it when I moved out. - How do you do that? - Calk. - Calk. - Calk. - C-A-U-L-K. - Walk me through the past. - Not to be mistaken with that. - Sorry. - All right. Psycho. - You can see what's on your mind. - No, no, no, no. I use Calk and you put it on the wall and you sand it down and you're good. And if you have a big enough hole, you put one of those net web things over it and then you caulk that and then you sand it down. - I'm pretty sure patching a hole in drywall is different than what you're saying. That's the very easy way to do it. I think that this is talking about cutting a hole out from the wall, putting drywall in and then patching it. - Yeah. Easy. It's like glue. - Sure. - I think it's like glue. Okay. We'll count that. - Count it. - Okay. We'll count that one for you. You could also put toothpaste if there's a small hole. Is you know that? Because the toothpaste will dry. - It's like Calk. - Sure. Am I saying that right? - No, I think it's the other way. The way you got it said before. - Got it, got it. - Just make it sure. - Can you cook an egg? - I can cook it. - Any way you want it. - That's the way you need it. - Can you do sunny side up? - Yeah. - Over easy. - Over easy is my special side. - Fried egg. Fried egg easy. - Boiled egg. - Boiled egg. Kind of like sunny side up. I'm pretty sure you just put it in boiling water. - Oh. - Yeah. (laughing) - A boiled egg is the one that you pee. Oh yeah, got it. - Devil egg? - Devil egg can't do. - You know how to? - It's the oven, isn't it? - The oven. - Do you want me to tell you how to? - Yeah. - To slice it like an avocado, open it up, take the yolk out, take a bunch of the yolks out, you put mayo, a bunch of seasonings in it, and then you blend it up, and then you put it back in the raw eggs. - I'm alright. - And then you eat it like that. - I'll pass. - You like devil eggs? - Not with mayo in it. - That's it. Every devil egg. - No, it's not. - Producer? - I hate devil eggs. - What is mayo and devil eggs? Yes. You don't even have to look it up. You didn't know mayo was in devil eggs? - I had no idea. - It was in a lot of things, Ac. - Yeah, I know. Well, as like an ingredient, it's all right. - Yeah, it's an ingredient. - Well, I guess you're not eating mayo alone. - No. - It's mixed with the yolk and seasonings. - Stop saying yolk. - Yoke. - And mayo. - I don't like that. - And moist mayo and yolk. - It makes for a lot. - So you can make an egg. - Yeah. - Cooking egg. - Can you patch a tire? - Depends on how bad the patching is. - So that's a no. - Yeah. - Can you start a fire? - You know, to find the hole in your tire, you spray like soapy water on it and it bubbles and it bubbles. - Genius. - Genius. - Who's thought of that? - Not you. - I can. - Yes. - So I saw something recently, fun fact. You know those little red cheeses that fly really far? - Yeah. - What are those cheeses? - You can't feel like those cheeses. - The red cheeses. - The red cheeses. - You peel with the wax. - Barbells. - Barebells. - Whatever they're called. - Bell. - The bell cheese. - Yeah, what about them? - You put the like, I guess you put leaves in it or something like that and then you like that on fire. - Yep. - Okay. - This is saying start a fire without a lighter. - That's like a fire starter. It acts as a fire starter. - Nope, but this is starting a fire without a lighter. - Like like that. - Yes, yes. - Yes. - That's what everyone can start a fire with a lighter. - No one can do that other way. - People can do that. - The Boy Scouts. - So no. - How far that got them. No, I can't. - Okay, can you play guitar? - Yes. - Poorly. - Not poorly, I could rip a solo. - I'm kidding. - You actually can play guitar pretty well. - I saw, can I mention another thing? I'm just gonna keep interrupting. - You can go whatever you want. - I saw a video I wanna try it, you and me, where we juggle together. - Okay. - And the guitar's in front of us. I do the left hand, you do the right hand. - Oh, that sounds-- - And then we both juggle. These two guys do it online. It sounds-- - It sounds dusty. - No, it's not dusty. It's only zesty if you get like an orange or a lemon in there. That was funny. - You like that? - Bread. - Yeah, no. - Starch, flour, yeast. - That's it? - Water. - That's it. - Bake it, bread. - Okay, all right, we'll count it. - Yes! - Sure. - I feel like that's it, right? - Flour, water, yeast, and salt. - You don't need the salt though. - Yeah, but that it's just gonna make good bread. - It's just gonna make bread. - Yeah, it's gonna make bread. - Marne's potato bread, my favorite. You also said something else. - We don't have, I said starch. - Not starch, starch isn't it? - No. - I think you're thinking of like Ganesh or something. - Oh. - Oh. - So you completed like two of those things. - Yeah, it's cool. - You said the average person to seven. - You can cast a fishing line. You could write in cursive. You can sharpen a knife. - Yeah. - You can cook an egg. You can play guitar. And you can parallel park. - Poorly. - Not poorly. I'm like one of the best at dealing with it. - I've hit a lot of cars recently. - What? Actually? - I don't want to say it. - No, but say it, you said it. - No, because then we're gonna, I'm gonna get in trouble. - You have to say it, you already said it. What have you been doing? - I pulled up to the apartment in Jersey City and I might have swiped the car. - And what'd you do? - Pretend like it didn't happen, I drove away. - That's a, you know that's a felony. - That's why I'm not, I didn't want to say it. That's why we're not saying it. That's not going in. - You have to put it in. - No, no. - I don't think I hit the car though. I think it was the sound. - You probably didn't hit the car. - We can't put that in. - You have to do that. - I'm gonna get arrested. - No, they're not porky. - You're not gonna get arrested. - There was no damage. - So that it's fine. - I don't think. - I went inside, ran inside, and then I ran back outside. - You're fine. - They're gonna use this in court. - No, it was my car. - You hit my car. - I don't know whose car it was. - So you're making it worse. - That might not make it. - No, it has to. That's body. (laughing) - This is all hypothetical. It's a comedy podcast. Everything's made up. - Yeah, I make stories up. - This is improv. - Exactly. - I'm gonna tell you this topic, and you're gonna be like, "Duh, it's actually submitted to a felony of the podcast." (laughing) - I don't know if I actually hit it. - That's the problem. I looked at my car, my car didn't have anything. - Okay, go on. - Okay. - I'm gonna tell you this topic, and you'll be like, "Duh, everyone knows this." - I don't know that until you tell me. - Here are four free ways to get upgrades on flights. - Everyone knows this. - Not that you're just saying it. - You're kidding. - Talk to me. - You're on the plane, and you've seen empty row in your section, so say you're an economy, right? - Okay, yep. - You're allowed to switch without asking. - I knew that. - Exactly. See, my point's proven. - But I think a lot of people get scared, and they're like, "Oh, like, should I ask?" And then the flight attendant's gonna say, "No, so I'm just gonna stay here." - I would agree with that. - But if you see an empty row or an empty seat, like even if it's an aisle and you're in a middle seat-- - Go grab it. - You could go sit there. They'd rather make you a happy customer than have you sit in the middle seat miserable. - I would agree with that. I think that you're fine to do that until they come up to you and tell you to move, which then I still think you're allowed to. - Now, if there's a seat in like first class, and you're like basic economy, you're not allowed to do it. - That ain't it. - Like, you're literally not allowed. - That ain't it. - But go up, ask the flight attendant. They're not gonna tell you, but you're allowed to switch seats inside your class. - Yeah, easy. - Okay. - It can't be business economy. It has to be economy economy. - Correct. I don't know why people don't do this all the time, and I think you'd have done it or know people that do. Ask for an upgrade before the flight. - Yeah, you can do that. - There's a certain way to do it and approach it, and they say 30 to 45 minutes before boarding is the best time to ask. - Interesting. I'm gonna start doing that. - When the premium seats don't sell, airlines would rather a happy customer than nobody sit in them. - Yeah, that makes sense. - So if you just say if any extra leg room seats are open, I would love one. That's like a great way to phrase it instead of be like, "Oh, do you have any upgrade seats that I could go to?" But like, if you guys have extra ones, like it's okay. - You're gonna be the guard to do that. - I'm not, but especially if you're traveling with someone like over 60 years old, like a lot of these perks, they're super willing to give up. I mean, I don't blame 'em. - You can also ask for a window or aisle seat if you're caught in a middle seat, like I said before, you're allowed to do it. - I'm just gonna get up and move next time. I mean, that's fair. They're not gonna stop you. - No, they're not stopping me. - The next one is you can get a free meal on the flight. - How? - So if you have a long flight, Jersey to California, let's say. - Yes. - The crew always carries extra meals. - So free though? - Yes, for free. So all the people who paid for the meals and they get the meals, sure, you can have 'em. Say you're in basic economy first class, but if you ask politely the flight attendant, two hours before the end of your flight, they might have extra food because they'll throw it away if they don't use it. - I believe that. The food, honestly, is not that great. - It's not that great, but if you're super hungry, six hour flight, you already had a meal or you didn't have a meal because of your seat, you're allowed to get the extra meal. - You might as well. - It's kinda like when you go to Duncan, right before it closes, they have all the donuts, they're like, "We gotta throw these out." - You get the free donuts? - Just hand 'em out. - Hand 'em out. - Same with airline food. - I saw they just signed something in a country in Europe where all the grocery stores, when they have to throw it out, it's now a law that they have to give it to the homeless. Very nice. - Really? - Yeah, very nice. - How do they do that? - They like donate it to like a center? - I guess. - Or something like that, that's cool. - Instead of throwing it out. - The last one, you ever get on a flight, you're a little too cold. - Yes, I am. - Blankets, blankets. - They're like, "Oh, I'm sweating on this flight." - Air conditioning alert, you can kindly ask to change the temperature on the flight. - Whoa. - Which is fair, fine, cool, right? But then you're like, "I'm gonna affect everyone else around me." - Yes. - Wrong. - Why? - Flight attendants can change temperature by zone. - That's awesome. - So an aircraft has different zones on the flight. So if you're hot up there, I'm freezing cold. I could tell them to warm up my section without making you too hot. - But then it affects the like six people around you. - That's fine. - I feel like if everyone's feeling that in the same section, I would agree. Sometimes flights get so hot and sometimes they get freezing cold. - I feel like when you're on the runway, super hot. And then you go up in the sky and then you're like, "I wish I brought a hoodie." - I think that time the air off when you're on the runway for some reason. - Save gas, maybe? - That's my conspiracy theory. - Don't quietly suffer. Make sure to speak up because they can change it and they're more than willing to. - There we go. - I have a bonus one. - Bonus zone. - I didn't write this one down, but I remembered it. - Bonus bonus. - This one, if you're on a flight and it gets a little turbulent. - Yeah. - Oh my god, I'm so scared. - My palm starts sweating. - Yeah, it turns into M&M. - When the turbulence comes down, you could ask the flight attendant, what the flight deck says about turbulence coming forward. So you'd be like, "I'm a little nervous. Can you just like tell me what to expect?" And they'll have the full itinerary. - You meant to say moving forward. - Moving forward, yes. - I don't know what I said. - Coming forward. - Coming forward. - Moving forward. Moving forward in the flight, you're able to get the itinerary. So they'll tell you, well, it's going to be a little choppy over the next 20 minutes, but after that we should have a smooth flight or expect some turbulence coming down, but we're going to be okay. - And that was Act's monologue again. - Well, that's the one that I, I didn't write down. - No, that's actually nice to hear. I mean, I think I'd rather just not know. - Yeah, I don't know. - I just get a little, my palms get sweaty. I've been better though. - Your head gets sweaty. - No, it doesn't. Never. - It's brisk up there. It kind of gets-- - You catch a breeze. - You get this sweaty. - You see, he's on, forget it. - I have a funny, funny topic. - Okay. - Not really that funny, but it's on brand for us 'cause we live in New Jersey. - That's funny as you want to, Brian. Oh my, we're like, this is, this is last topic. - Last topic, Laura. - Last topic, Laura. - Geez, we flew through that. - Can you guess the taglines for each Jersey Shore cast member? - Yes. - Okay. - This is what they say in the intro to the show. - What does Snookkey say? - Snookkey? - Oh, it's something about being a meatball. - No. - No? - It's not, no. - I'm, I'm the, shh, uh-- - It's I'm. - It's like I'm the, I think you're thinking you're saying this. - I'm a, I'm a, no. - No, take a guess. What would Snookkey say? - I'm a short, I'm a, oh no, I can't say that. - Oh, Jesus. - I'm a short Italian with a lot of energy. - I'm going to-- - I'm going to shots. - How do you not know this? - I'm going to the Jersey Shore this summer. - Italians. - I'm going to the Jersey Shore. Oh, I'm going to the Jersey Shore, but, can't say it. - Bleep it out. - I'll bleep that one out. - No, stop it. We're bleeping that one out. - All right, what does Mike the situation say? - Uh, I think we got a situation. - Yep, basically. - All right, we got a situation. - I dressed up as him for a Halloween one year. He commented on the post. - What does Sammy Sweetheart say? - Sammy Sweetheart says, "I'm the sweetest you'll ever meet." - Whoa, you're cursing today. - Is that it? - Yeah, it is. - Oh yeah, it is. - I love it. - What does J-WOW say? - J-WOW? - This one's an iconic one. - It's an iconic one. - Uh, it reminds me of the praying mantis. - The praying mantis? - Yes. - Is hers like don't F with me? - No. - Or you don't want with me? - Don't mess with me? - Was it-- - After I have sex with a guy? - After I have sex with a guy? - I will rip their heads off. - No, remember that one? - I now I do. It's been a while. - What does Ronnie say? - G-T-L, G-Tan Laundry. - I'm gonna fist palm to my arm falls off. - You don't remember any of these. - I guess not, no. - Ronnie just laughs. It's just like iconic. It's ha-ha-ha. - Oh, that's it. - This is laugh. - Damn. - What does Vinny say? - Vinny? Vinny says something about Staten Island. - No, no. - I think Paulie D actually says this for Vinny. It's go Vinny, go Vinny. - Is that what he says? - Yes, Vinny. - What does Angelina say in the intro? Something about being the devil. - Um, hello. - That's it? - You don't remember these? - No, I don't. - Come on, not really. - What is Dina? You gotta remember Dina's. - Dina's? I want to say that's the sweetest. - No, we already went over that. - I know we did. - Dina's the meatball. - It's something about her physical attributes. - Meatball. - What about her physical attributes? - I'm the best meatball you offer me. - No. - No? - Physical attributes. - What, like her tits? (laughing) - Yeah. - Yeah? - What does she say? - It's about to do with meatballs? - No, it has to do with what you just said. - Does it? - Yes. - Tits and butt. - My tits and butt, the best on the shore. - Yeah. - What? - No, it goes, get crazy, get round, and then it goes to Dina. It's a body, and then what does Dina's tagline? - My tits. (laughing) - No, it's, you like the boobs? - Oh. - Yeah. - And then Polynesia's just record scratching 'cause he's a DJ. - Oh, that's boring. - Yeah, what was Dina's again? - You like the boobs? I thought that was fun. - All right. - If you guys didn't know, we have a membership program. We have a very special video for the end of this membership program that one of our fans made. So stick around for another minute and a half. We have a membership program on YouTube. If you sign up, go to our membership tab on our YouTube channel. And you'll get a shout out from me and Zach at the end of every single episode. - My own podcast and members. - Once we get to 100, we're gonna give away a million dollars. - We're at 52 members. - There we go. Thomas, one, four, six, fill the thrill. Unknown, Simon K. Kochstrupse's Christian, T-W-H-E-T, no divots, Nixor off James Carr, the Predator, Jared Higgs, deep. Oh, I hate this name. Deep leeka is the love of my life. I don't know what that is. Edward Scaramel, ABCD, E-F-U, Brian, R-U, Jim, from the Hardy Colley and Shrewd Golf, P-Gasper, Joby, Brandon Moore's, Justin Colourone, James C. Lee's, Rodney UK, Bogard, Miguel Pohortquez, Bugsy Snipes, Dan, E-6-1-1, Brian Likes, Chocolate Milk. I was that new? - I love Chocolate Milk. - White Chocolate 99, great white snipes. Watch one piece, thanks, Mel Hater. Pro Lexus, Lanka 47, bring back Monday pod, CodeMakeshift, M-A-K-E-S-H-I-F-T. - Bud Legends. - It's Hammer Time 22, Conween. I love my wife too. - My wife! - Nigel Thornberry, Sam Roswan, Kaden Mingering, California Castle, Caleb Tate, Zoni Latte, the M-X-M-X, Benny Buggers, Benny Buggs, Bubbles of the Friendly? Bubbles, the Friendly Comrade, Chef Mickey D, Big Swag, G-B-E-O-7-7-8, Tom Hough, 1996, Dalton, or Wig Olsen, Eric, and Kinetics. That's a new one, that's a five days ago. Thanks for joining our membership program. - And now, we're gonna cut to a clip that, what was his at? - His at, I have it in my notes. Shout out to, shout out. - Bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum. - Josh, Disphosa. - Josh, Disphosa, thank you for putting this together. He created the compilation of all the my wife. - Presenting for everyone here. And the podcast you have Brian saying my life about 30 somethings. That's a rap baby. I love my wife and chef Mickey D - My wife? - The- - My wife? - The my wife? - The my wife? - My wife? - My wife? - My wife? - My wife? - My wife? - The wife? - My wife? - My wife? - My wife? - My wife? - My wife? - My wife? - Not for Will and Haley. - Okay, Will and Haley. - My wife? - Okay. - My wife? - My wife? - My wife! My wife! My wife! My wife! - No! No! - No! - No! - No! - No!