The podcast episode features Jake Johnson as a guest, promoting his film "The Dink," a comedy about pickleball. The conversation begins with banter about the movie’s release and shifts into a critique of popular shows like "New Girl" and "Parks and Recreation," noting how cultural perceptions change over time. Johnson recounts being cut from "Stepbrothers" and reflects on his early career, including a nervous audition where a busboy simplified his role. The discussion moves to weight and body image, with Johnson and the host joking about rapid weight gain, Ozempic, and testosterone use, while criticizing public figures who hide their use of such drugs. They also debate AI, with Johnson admitting to using it for dream analysis but expressing concerns about its societal impact and data exploitation. The show then takes calls: the first caller is frustrated about his girlfriend’s friend, a new mother in a possibly abusive relationship, and the hosts advise empathy, communication, and setting limits. The second, a "twisted" segment, involves a transgender woman secretly sleeping with two estranged brothers; the hosts offer wild advice, including a threesome to resolve tensions, while also suggesting she prioritize safety and move on. Throughout, the tone is humorous and irreverent, blending personal anecdotes with absurd hypotheticals.
Up, uh, welcome, everybody to Stobby's World, 904, even to Stobby. All the Stobby's World Hotline presented by Visible will solve all your problems. We have returning to the couch, our pal Jake Johnson, somebody, you might know him as the dink actually. You might know him as the dink, a movie. This is a fucking pro. It has not even yet come out, but the, just, something is in the air where you're like, it's dink season. That's fucking dink. I think everybody, I, everywhere I go, Jake, people like happy dink season to you. The dink on Apple TV. My man's all over Apple TV, dude. Yeah. Yeah. Maximum pleasure going to. And the dink. And the dink. And the dink. And the dink. That's. How about when I'm selling. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. The dink. Maximum pleasure guaranteed with the dink. It sounds like where the maximum pleasure is coming out. That's fucking dink. Now I will say I, I went to start maximum pleasure guaranteed, but then I saw slow horses and that looked pretty fun. So I watched that. What is slow horses? It's a, it's a spy show. Slow horses. This is a spy show with my, with, uh, Gary, have you see, you see the tiptoes, right? The trailer. Yeah. Of course, dude. So it's kind of a tiptoes homage. He is kind of, his face is the tiptoes face. I will. Sometimes I saw that. I'm. So, you check out the dink or maximum pleasure indeed, but also check out slow horses and Gary Oldman. By the way, 97 on Ron tomatoes ain't bad. First season is pretty fun. We, uh, they'll be getting a maximum pleasure guaranteed. So my role in that is I'm just in a, uh, custody battle. Okay. Never got to do it. David Gordon Green was doing the pilot. I don't get to just do like a little drama where I go. Oh, how about you fucking your little drama with Emma Stone? Yeah, that's true. Nice. Not sure. I meant to say that earlier. You're dealing with it. You're dealing with it with a real actor now. That's fucking, I was happy for you, dude. I was happy for you, dude. I was a mere podcast. I was like, who was this guy? And I'm like, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, let me drop my head shot. And I appreciate that. It's just pure, one of you recently accomplished and you'll be respected more. And everybody's like, dude, in all of a sudden, people are like, what's up brother? The funny thing is, you'll see the same people, what's up brother and someone else? Of course, of course. I really learned that doing New Girl. We had the first season. It did really good numbers. And all of a sudden, I would be at events and I'd be like, man, I'm getting a lot of what's up brother? Some kind of cool guys. And season two, everybody hated the show. It became, you know, uncool to like the cool, what's up brother? Already? Season two? Or maybe see, it happened fast. Interesting. Because I was in the, I just remember it as a good show the whole time. But you're young. But I was young, yes. So while it was on, there was a moment where people are like, is this cool? Like, you know, cool the way that like parks and wreck was cool. Right, right, right. Which now is like about someone with Hillary Clinton's politics, like parks and wreck now is about the people that are like giving, like let's say no, but except so much money from APEC. Like, if we go back now, they're like, her hero was Joe Biden. You want to talk about something that does not hold up. That's really good. It's about a libertarian and a centrist politician, like those are the two main people. Like, the worst people in the world, like Ron Swanson is a funny in theory. But you meet a guy like that in person. Like, that's the scariest guy you've ever put in your life. Unless we know for sure is doing, she is doing atrocities. Yeah. You know what I mean? Like, she's in the state department. She's a junior official in the state department covering up like a drone bombing. The Obama administration that the Joe Joe, I would say here's what's different. And I didn't watch a lot of parks and wreck, but I think they're in a small town in like India. They are. They are. They are. They are. They are in parks. No, but I know you're saying you're talking, the reason I can skewer is because I love the show. Yeah, yeah. So it ends with them getting into DC. Oh, it does. It ends with them. Okay. You know the show. I don't know this thing. I know this show. I don't know this. Like her. Oh, they go to DC. Her. Amy Poland. Amy Poland. Amy Poland. It's like a real. Oh. So the end. That show is the arc of her enter in the big game. It's the story about the minor list. It's literally. Yes. It's literally like, yeah, coming up from the minor list. Absolutely. Yeah. But just to lose your innocence. It's like what is like a nice story of like, oh, yeah. You know, local government. They're showing. And you go leave it to them. And then it's like, yes. And then eventually if you do good enough for your small town, you get to sell out for the. Yeah. For fucking Raytheon. I sold it. I sold a show to Fox years ago. I used to have a production company. And we sold a show based off of Catalina Island. Mm-hmm. You ever been? Obviously, stepbrothers is my greatest into Catalina Island. The Catalina one. I got cut out of that movie. Oh, that's tough. Yeah. For one of my first gigs I ever had, I got called in. Do you want to play Rob Riggle in Rob Riggle's flashback? Do you want to play his steroid dealer? And I go. Yeah. So they. I went. I was like to the ocean and I live on the east side. So I was there at 5 a.m. I sat in my trailer for 12 hours. And they finally call me and it's fucking Adam McKay. It's Riggle who I didn't know yet who you got to have Riggle on this show. He is. I would love to have Riggle on the show. He is as fun and fun. Yeah. You will. I love it. I love that guy. He's so fucking fun. But we get there. And the whole bit is it's his character. They all those characters at the end of the movie have a flashback. And his was the first time someone sold him steroids. Then I finished and I was like, well, and then I didn't hear anything and I was with my friend Charlene Yee and Nick Jazz and Ovik and we were driving and we had some meeting and I was like, it was all those humiliated Hollywood moments where I go like meeting ended and everyone kind of got quiet and I'm like, well, are we doing dinner or drinks? Yeah. Yeah. And they were like, I think we should call it. And I was like, well, it's five. Yeah. And then they were like, well, we're going to a thing tonight and I go, what? And they go, the stepbrothers from here and I go, it's tonight. I'm in it. I don't know. You didn't. You never told me. They didn't tell me. And you weren't even invited. It's, how could it be tonight? I'm in as a movie. And then I call my agent and they go, if you don't make it in a lot of times, they don't tell you. Oh, wow. And I was like, of course. Yeah. I'm happy. I'm happy. Are you kidding me? I get. I get the game. Well, at least that movie has an age to be maybe the definitive comedy movie of the generation. Yeah. By the way, that is perfect for my career right next to it. But going back to parks. Yeah. That's what New Girl was. New Girl started and people said, could this be one of those? Yeah. And I was getting a lot of, hey, guys. Right. And then universally the town decided it's not. Gotcha. Gotcha. What was the best? I guess I do remember like a dish and nail Tweet backlash. It was a. Well, there was too much like, you know, this was that era for me. It was being in New York every time I got in a cab. It would be those. They're looking at me and they go, they're that guy, huh? And I would go. Maybe. Yeah. And they would go, now I know you're on that show with the girl in the apartment. I'll go, yeah. And there go. I don't like it. Yeah. And I would go. I hear and there go, you are. You are all right. Yeah. Yeah. But that's shitting for me. And then I would go. That's so fun. I would go. I hear you, man. And then here's what I learned which drove me up a wall. And I had to hold my tongue because I used to be way lippier. And that was the age where I was like, I can't be fighting with people in cabs. I'm on television. Of course. Of course. And they would go, they would go, I don't like it and I'd go, I hear you, man. And I'd be like, okay, it's a fucking thing. And they would go season two, episode four, and I'd be like, you little fucking asshole. You watched every episode, you like it. They're kind of, oh, maybe you guys had before, you had the fan from the, you had the fandom from the fucking that the medical show. What's the foot? The scrubs? No, no, no, no. The pit, the pit. Yeah. How the pits fans seem to hate the pit. Oh, is that true? Even though it's like the, you know, it's like the most acclaimed show. All you see online is like, they fucked this up. They fucked that up. That's, so we had, it was, women were always on, they were always like, we like it. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I like the show. And then some women will be like, I don't, but the women who liked it to this day will be like, I like that show. Yeah. Not a bad guy. Were you married at the time? Yeah. Yeah. That's tough. Yeah. Because that would have been the best. Yeah. Yeah. The guy that clearly was not like, you will end up with a, it's almost like you kind of know the entire time on some level that you guys are going to end up together. You know, there's a formula to this. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Of course. Of course. You're raw. You're like, yeah, unless I come in and that almost happened season three and I've gained too much weight over the summer because over the summer, they can't regulate you. And I did come back. You do fat Mac, but without telling anybody, I did fat Mac. That's not the funny thing about it. And there are photos where see, maybe it's season one to season two. It ends and they try to do a continuation, but Nick Miller ain't in the same shirt. And it was, I've noticedably, that's awesome. You know, 15 pounds changes the face. A hundred percent. Absolutely. And 15 pounds is a few more beers. Of course. 15 pounds happens fast. I'm not even kidding. I've been trying to like, I've I've
been bouncing between like two 70 and 280. - I followed some of the weight loss journeys. - Sure. - I texted, I think I mean, I love that. - Thanks, man. And we're gonna get back now, folks. Stopby gets ripped, we'll resume. Just let me film this special without fucking dying once. But I literally at the beginning of this week was 270 and I had, I ordered Sichuan food. - I get that. - I weighed 280 today. - I'm not even kidding at all. - By the way, I weighed 21 Sichuan meal. - I relate to this in a way. And I wanna blame it on some fucked up metabolism. - Yeah. - Or I must eat in the, like I'll literally go, you know what, I gotta fucking trim up. I'm going back, I'm doing some stuff at a movie, I mean, a TV show, and to August, I'm like, I gotta, I gotta lose about 10. - Yeah, yeah. - I'll have one night. - Yeah. - I'm not even going, buffet style, I think I'm being, I'm like, I had a couple of drinks. - Yeah, yeah, yeah. - I will look it, I'll be on the podcast with Gareth. - Yeah. - And all of a sudden, there'll be a shot, I'm like, "Sat down me!" (laughing) - In the video. - When I'm not on TV with being, like, afraid of losing my job. - Yeah. - You will post something, I'll literally go, who's that fat guy near Gareth? (laughing) And I'll go, I honestly, I wasn't bingeing. - Yeah, yeah, yeah. - No, it's fast. It happens so fucking fast, dude. - It's disgusting. - And it's the so, I mean, dude, it was also, it's like, to peel back the curtain for everybody, this is the week we filmed the special. If there's a week, I should be, - Yeah, yeah, yeah. - Saturday and Sunday, right, of this week. If there's a week, I should be watching what I mean. - Tight. - It just is not in the car. - You got it. - I just psychologically know where I'm at right now. - I agree. - This is not the week. So I'm going to be fatter than I just, if I just kept it together, I could look pretty, gotta look at a like, get a fucking lymphatic drainage massage. (laughing) - You know what I mean? - Yeah, yeah. (laughing) - Like sitting a sauna or some shit. And I should. Why am I not doing that? - No, no. - I'm not going to. - There's no way I know right now. It's Monday for everybody. I still have six days. - It ain't happening. - It just, it is not in the car. (laughing) It is not in the car at all. And 'cause my, I stopped drinking so much, but I've been, because I broke my arm and I fucked my back up to avoid opioids, I've been getting so fucking high, it's crazy. - Fun. - Like, I'm so too high. - I'm talking 150 milligrams. - Oh my God. - I'm sorry, God. - Look, I did 100 yesterday and I was like, and I was like, scared me. Kind of, yeah. I was kind of high with 100 milligrams. - That's scary. - And so I'm like, but here's the thing. On tour, I had bit. So I'm like, oh, I see where I'm at. Today I'll take 120. Tomorrow 140. I'll come back down to eight. I have a whole fuck up system. (laughing) And it does help you sleep and it does help with pain, but boy, am I hitting the snacking hard. Hard as fuck. And we're talking weird shit. I ordered, I dored that as fucking bread and butter. 'Cause it was like 1 a.m and I was like, oh, I want bread and butter. I was just like, I just want a nice. - You got a French low trainer, you like? - No, I do not. That's a hilarious question. (laughing) - I got a guy who, he can do zooms with you. - Interesting, interesting. - Rudy Garcia, he's a good price, he's a good guy. He'll work with you. He's the only guy I've ever stuck with. - Okay, interesting. - Yeah, no, I will, look, I don't want to fucking talk too much, but there will be a metamorphosis. - That's cool. - You're going to do the testosterone, the. - Oh yeah. - You're going to do all the stuff. - I'm going to go fucking shit. - Peptides. - Oh, dude, I can't wait to put all kinds of fuck. - G-O-P's, whatever it's called. - Already got the G-O-P's going. - You're doing 'em. - I'm doing 'em. - Tell me about 'em. - It is, it, so right, this is, there's a foot, I wanted to have this, to tell you about this. 'Cause we're going to talk about how it's easy to binge. It's like, it is just, it's not even just genetic. It's so in your head. 'Cause right now when I'm so stressed, I am, I am beating through it, dude. This fucking medicine stands no chance. - So your body's going, stop. - I'm legit not hungry, brother. - Stop. - And I'm like, no. - I think we need those dumplings as well. - So what would happen to me is exactly that. I would take the fucking shot, and then I would do that thing. By the way, the funniest thing about this ozampic era is all these liars. - Of course. - It is so joyful. - Of your whole life. - You can't be chubby your whole life. - Whole life. - And guess what? - You go back to middle school. You go back to junior high. You just see some roundies. - Of course. - So you see the, and now you'll see during like baseball season who I was like that. - Yeah. - And then I was in junior and summer like. You're like, so that's what it's gonna be. If all of a sudden I get skeleton skinny. - Yeah. - And you go, what's going on? And I go hiking. - Hiking, bro. - How fucking much are you hiking? - I'm actually even having seemoths in like half a year. That's the difference. It's like, and by, how much seemoths motherfucker? Well dude, here's how you know there's such frauds. - Yeah. - Cause look occasionally a fat person does lose weight, but they make it their entire person out. - For years. Haven't you ever seen biggest loser? - It's like, listen, if you actually lost all that weight, we're seeing gym selfies every day. - And also every day. Not just one occasionally cover your tracks. - But this is the mean way of putting it. When a, when a, when a fat person loses weight, they don't look great. - They look weird. - They do. - Yeah. - It looks like a, they look melty. - Well, if you've, if you've particularly in your head associated with this person with a certain fullness. - Yes. - And then yes, it can be a real problem when you get the fucking turnip pussy neck. - But all of a sudden these ozampic people, I think it's because they're dying and their bodies eating themselves. They skip that stage. - Yeah. - So they just look modelish, but they don't have the face for it. - You just go like, you really skinny and weird now. Now, again, I don't care if you take testosterone. I also, what's different about 2020 changed it. If I'm at work with some of this, you and me are doing a scene together and you smell like a brewery. - Yeah. - Couldn't care less. - Right. - If you don't remember your lines, you smell like a brewery. I'm gonna go, he's drunk. - Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. - If you come in and do the job, gives a shit. - 100%. - If you want to be on testosterone, you want to be on fucking, you want to blow lines, you want, the job is, we're not saving babies in Haiti. - It's actually one of the only things. - It's not the only thing you have to do is say the lines. - Do the job. And then emotionally, if they go, "Hey, in this scene, actually, we need a little heart." And you're so bombed out of your brain that you can't feel anything. You're bad at your job. - Right, right, right. - I don't care how crazy you are. I don't care when you have those actors, where they're like, they had a nervous breakdown. They were shirtless in the middle of the street. But how were they at 5 p.m. of call time? What did you get that day? - And they go, so you're right, they had a 30-hour bender, but then they showed up and did a father and son soon. (laughing) And you know what I honestly think? Good actor. - Absolutely. - This is not a profession where I go, you're supposed to be watched 24 hours, but just admit it. - Yeah. - You know who with that in mind who I personally and liking there are? - Please. - Who feels the counter to the ozempic era? - Let me hear it. - Shia. - Hmm. - Shia about it. - I don't know that I would be buying Shia stock right now. - What did he do recently? - I just think he's kind of, I don't think he's got the kind of. - Well, I agree. - Let's just, let's, let's, let's just, - No, but here's what I mean. - What's he like? - Drawing his fucking tear rising. The homeless in churches in New Orleans or something recently. - Well, let's go again, let's go. Going back to Parks and Rook. I have no politicians. (laughing) I have not, let's see some Shia updates. - Yeah, but it was the New Orleans that got me, I watched his all his interviews, all that stuff in New Orleans. - It's, you know what it is, man? It's being a, if you're a Catholic convert, thumbs up. - I agree with that. - If you're born into it. - I talk by the way. I don't disagree with that. - People are born into Catholicism are sort of like, 'cause I'm Greek Orthodox, right? - Okay, yeah. - We're not Orthodox, right? Like, if you meet a different Orthodox set, sect of religion, they're crazy. Catholics are kind of the same thing. If you're born into it, it's like, "Hey, fish on Fridays." - Yeah, yeah. - Let's fucking give to the homeless. And if you're like, if you're converted, you're like, well, the, you know, everybody knows the schism of 1130. - Right. - Like, they're talking about Pope Barnabas or something. - Right. - Like, they're talking about theological shit where they're like, well, and of course, Armenians can't get into heaven. Like, they're just saying crazy shit like that. So anyone who like, as an adult goes into an extreme-- - You're not religion is all, some's always fucked. - Yes, you're not religion. - Some's always fucked. - Some's going on. - What do we got, eldest? What do you, did you bother summarizing or do you expect us to read it? He's pleaded guilty to battery and the New Orleans, you know, little scuffle incident. He became combative of staff and patrons. Struck multiple people. One guy he hit hard enough to possibly dislocate his nose. (laughing) He also allegedly shouted homophobic. - He did it. (laughing) - Take away allegedly on that. - Allegedly. Oh, man, if someone, if there's a type of guy keeping, dropping homophobic f-bombs alive, it's shy of the homophobic. - No, so going back to what I was saying that I do like about what shy is, yeah, yeah, yeah. All this aside. - There's a lot of buzzwords that you don't like, right? But here's what I like. Yeah, we can throw out a lot of buzzwords like assault, dude. (laughing) - That's an homophobic slurrer. - I never think you're saying, I agree with you. (laughing) I'm with you. (laughing) We're talking about the acting profession. - Right. - So, all he needs to, there's no way out like this. You know what I think a shy should do? Be around children and be a role model. (laughing) You know what I don't think he should do? Be a leader of many women. - Right, right, right, right. - You know what I am interested after this? - Yeah. - An indie movie where he plays a guy down in New Orleans. - Right. - And it's a character who's going through a hard time. - And he goes, well, a lot of the dialogue was improvised. (laughing) I want to hear that.
Those monologues. - Interesting. - And I want that dark circle in his eyes where I wanted them here after the director go, I mean, it's some Marlon Brando stuff. - Yeah. - Marlon Brando are shown up to apocalypse now. He didn't tell anybody who's gonna be fat and bald. - That's awesome. - That's a great, could you imagine? You're doing movies, could you imagine? They go-- - Oh yeah, they'd be real mad if I showed up fat and bald to a movie. (laughing) - Maybe he's known as my wasn't fat and bald. - And you show up skinny and hairy? Could you imagine, by the way, that's what you should do. You're big, the first big life, you book something the way they're banking you in it. - Of course. - Don't tell anybody, don't film until after. Take so much olympic and go to Turkey and get a haircut and cut it short in the back. - Awesome. - So when they show up, they're like, we're starving. - Yeah, yeah, yeah. - I'm snuffin' us. - Right here. - The reverse, the reverse ghostling and lovely bones. You know, show up, just jacked his head. And they're like, well, you obviously can't be the fat, idiot friend in this romantic comedy anymore. You're getting the fat, idiot friend. - I think a spin on that. I think a nice, a new updated spin on that. - I had my version of it was my first job I got was no strengths attached that Ivan Reitman was directing. And I played the friend and I was really nervous. And I go to the same Vietnamese restaurant and at Waterbug Easter every day. And the bus boy there, George and the chef, we got to know each other. And he came by and I was like, studying the material and he was like, you're workin' hard every day. I was like, fuck man, I've never been more nervous in my life. And he goes, tell me about it. And I told him about the movie. And he goes, so basically you're like, you should be with the girl. Don't be with the girl. - He goes, you should be with the girl. And then he goes like this. I like porn. And I went, no. And I sat there and I was like, yes. (laughing) I am fundamentally less nervous. - That's awesome dude. - I was like, that's, you really just summed it. I was like, that was where the parts I'm getting. I'm just near the other guys going like this. - Of course. - You should do it brother. - And then they go, anything else like. And they go, it wasn't that and I go, I literally had nothing. - Yeah, yeah, yeah. That's all I got, man. That's so fun. Yeah, dude, it is really fucking funny. What was the first like, did you have like a child? Did you have a theatrical performance? Do you remember hitting the stage from the first time? - I do. - What was it? - So I was in high school. So I think I told you this last time. But when I was 50, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. I never told you this, but I dropped out of high school and I was 50. - Yes, yes. - And so when I came back-- - Yes, we know about your awesome white trash Chicago background. - Suburban, yes. Suburban Chicago. - Yes, yes, yes. - Which is more, if it was Chicago would be less shocking. I went to two nights of a public school to do this. - Yes, yes, yes, yes, yes. - This was not a public school you drop out, of course. - It wasn't like 25% of us did. - It was like 99% go to college. And I'm like-- - Do you know Jake dropped out? Like they know you by name. - It was, do you know what I'm like? It was so weird that when I would see people at parties, I'd be like, it's not what you think. (all laughing) - I was like, you better spin fast, motherfucker. But I gotta say, you were still going to the parties. You dropped out and you're like, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. - I would literally, I would drop. I would like, my dropping out was just not going. - Yeah. - So after school, I'd be like, what y'all doing? - What's up? - They're like, hanging out with the people who go to school. - I was like, why didn't you just go to school, man? - Go to school and I'd literally be like, yeah, fuck that and I'd be like, what was everybody wearing? (all laughing) It's like, pre-ident, your life is so small. When you guys up to Friday, they're like, I would do in this party at the school, I was like, fuck that shit, call me, literally right after. And then, you know, they don't. - Of course. - But I came back and I was like, oh, fuck, everybody who I know is going to graduate and then I'm still around. And I was also getting bad grades again. And I was like, I might be here forever. - Yeah. - I was like, so you're like, well, let's just fucking. - Let's make it look like it was my choice. - Well, there was, there was a sketch show at the school that the students wrote and my buddy Bill said he was directing it. He was like, I could get you in and he goes, my uncle Timmy was an alcoholic and every year on my birthday, he called and told me the same joke. And he goes, just do the Timmy joke and your voice. I did it, I got in the play. And then when I got on stage, I got really big laughs. And I was like, oh, this is why I'd been such a bad student. - Now they like me for it. And I was like, if this is a job. - Yeah, hell yeah. - I will kill somebody for this. (laughing) - Well, especially when you're 15 and thinking about dropping out. - I've just been like, what are you doing like? - You know, it's a funny thing that I realized I needed when it's been on for listeners. A lot of actors say, you know, I had no backup plan. And it feels like a heroic story. - It's not. - It's really not. - I'm starting to do something with my friends at this point of our life that's really mean. And that is finding people of my age who had no backup plan, but didn't make it. (laughing) - Yeah, dude. - You'll know like, it's like, I fucking moved out to New York City at night. I was doing stand-up of 15. - Yeah. - And they're like, I was just fucking hitting stages brother. I had no backup. What are you doing now? Well, I'm trying to do an Etsy shop. (laughing) - I got really good. - You know what you should have had with a backup plan. - You should have had a backup plan. Because you got to be on planet Earth for about 80 years, motherfucker. - No, no. - That's tough. I mean, but it's the same thing you start, I just started doing open mics, I was 19. - You did, yeah. - And I was just like, well, I mean, we'll see what happens and then this is what happens. - Totally. - And then it just doesn't stop. - But you never really have a great plan. - No plan. In fact, I was kind of, if I'm being fully honest, I kind of assumed I'd fail in back to Baltimore. - Same. - But I thought I'd have, I gave myself, I think I was like five years in New York and then reassessed. And I just kind of thought I would fail. 'Cause everybody fails. - And, but I would get those experiences. And it would make being back in Chicago better. - Exactly. Then you could be that piece of shit in the small town that like, just because he had in New York license felt bad, like I thought Elders was destined for. If, by the way, if I don't get famous, that's who Elders is. Elders is back in Baltimore, talking about his, his housey on days and fucking bedsties. - I'm retreating deeper in the Heartland. I'm not even returning to the coast. - You're gonna Ohio for sure. You're gonna Ohio with your wife and becoming a fucking English teacher and talking about how you used to live in Bushwick, and it just like Bushwick, really? - Really? - Yes. - Now become a podcast and AI teacher. (laughing) - Mr. Sula's, Mr. Sula's AI. We're here, Mr. Sula teaches you the best prompts. (laughing) - It's not even education at all. It's like how to use Claude. - The Elders Sula method for podcast producing. - Well, you see, I figured if I asked enough AI, one of them would come up with a solution. And it's actually, I really don't wanna check his history because that's probably how he's doing everything. - What's your make on AI these days? - Oh, hard anti. - You are. - Tell me why. - You gotta be a fucking idiot. 'Cause it's like, first of all, I've never seen anything good, right? Most of it is like a fun novelty. - Yes. - It maxes out at fun novelty, right? - Yeah. - And if that's all it was, all right, we might have been, that's a getting mad at Snapchat filters, right? - Totally right. - Who cares, whatever. But the fact that this is also clearly connected to, first of all, it's the newest thing, the ultra-rich that have no idea how to maintain their grasp on our society. It's their newest attempt at that, right? - Right, that's interesting. - The metaverse was, yeah, yeah, yeah. We're all gonna be doing it in a minute. - We're all gonna be doing it in a minute. - Well, I'll tell you what was before that. - Segways. - Yes, exactly. No, no, that's, it's going to change, travel as we, there'll be no road. - There will be, you'll be on the straight path. (laughing) - Your Amazon drivers will be coming in on Segways, but so that's, that's number one. But also there's something very sinister happening with, I think they don't want us to even know what reality is anymore. I think they want, I think the powers that be, - Want us in this kind of bubble. - So that you just, is Mitch McConnell alive? - Yeah. - Well, then here's why I'm a perfect mark for them. - Yeah. - I've never known what reality was. - So my, my beauty. - I mean, of course you think it's awesome. - But dumb as shit. (laughing) - Here's, here's my beauty. - He dropped down at 50. Improv sketch comedy is the only reason you have a high school diploma. Of course, you're dumb as to say, it's useful. - Here's what I like about it. - Yeah, yeah, yeah. - I don't use it for anything serious. I don't use it for anything. Like, the idea of, I like to go, I'll wake up from a weird dream. - Yeah. - And I'll go, I'll hit the little button, I'll go. - Well, I'm gonna just ramble at your robot ass for, in a way I can't to anybody else on planet. - Right, right. See, that's a really big problem. - And I'll go, what's up, big dog? - Yeah. - I'll go, I just had a dream. I was being chased by a turkey man, and I'm like, I'm just, I'm doing it, I'm like this. - I'll go, a turkey was after my ass, and I go, the craziest thing happened. And now, because I'm not taking pauses, I'm like, now we're in, and I'll go, but that turkey was my father, brother. And I'll go, break it down for me. - What does it mean? - Oh no, dude. And you're someone who's very successful with a family. I mean, other people are so fucked. - 'Cause they don't go, pretty fun breakdowns. - Yeah, yeah, yeah. - And from when you go and novelty, that's how I see it, I go, pretty fun. - Yeah, pretty fun. - But this idea that it's going to take over our society, there'll be no jobs, and there'll be a minimum wage that people, I'm like, guys. - Ask you what you get out of that. I'm talking to a fucking computer about your fucking dream. - Yeah. - Telling anyone about your dream is embarrassing. Number one. - Telling a fucking computer that's using that to now sell you stuff. 10 years later. - Either way, if you're going to sell me stuff based on my dream, I'm buying it. (laughing) - If I'm a buyer, as is. So if you're going to sell me stuff based on my dream,
gonna use my subconscious to sell me something weird from Amazon right right not only that though now here's the thing now I think they're going to start having like generational data on us so it's like they're selling you stuff in like in like 30 years they're they're they're picking the right AI therapist that specializes in dream journal fathers for your kids like that you think it just stops with you you're selling your whole fucking genetic code to these motherfuckers and also it's like yes it's just like he just never tell anyone about that that's that's actually how you do it no way no she's not interested I've been with her for too long no but no human wants to hear about another human dream okay so to you you use it as a you see them as the the bottom of the camera brother yeah oh you see them it's a it's the front you know it is it's an assistant or it's it's somebody no disrespect who works for you yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah you go like this funny story last night he's like why did a sad story last night you're like I'm gonna go first oh yeah yeah and he goes like this all right well we're in quite literally stop his world so his story's going first my circle is so small yeah yeah yeah I just don't have a lot of those right I haven't when I'm working a lot of months that there'll be a couple of those see and to me what I would say is that is you seating control to your social life to the robots is that is that you and again you were fucking rich it's successful you live anyone can figure out I'm dying to talk to you I'll tell you why I also don't want to yeah yeah yeah whenever I get if somebody gets into my circle I have to care about their story too sure and I have to go like this like if they go like what happened I tell me about the New York trip I'll tell them I'll go to this what happened with you for the last three days and I'll go like well right answered town right right right robot never does that I know but that's the Jake that's society man that's that you have to sacrifice yes you have to hear a horrible story I had some point I'll have to hear about North what Elders did at North Carolina on his second vacation of this month right and that will suck I won't really give a fuck but you'll have to go like that but that's part of being in a in society and I got really care about my story about you know I got plenty of those no man but here's what I here's what I don't have in the blipper slope I know it is and I've already been slipping I'm a drug addict right now talking my way going like this I only do it in the mornings and the night and sometimes and you know I'm doing it all though absolutely yeah I have chicken wings so yeah it was like a raptor and it picked me up and it was falling behind dad the lights turning dad hurry hurry oh sorry sorry okay relax I know I fucking know can I have a fucking moment to myself with my fucking computer who's this guy that's you yelling at your kid because it's because it's stopping you from talking to your robot and you're not there yet okay I'm not there yet that's the scared straight moment that's the moment where you're like where you're like yeah you're like yeah so I was fucking okay now I had wings I had wings and it was fucking awesome I'm like fucking and I actually have four nipples but only three had milk coming out of me you know what I mean and then your kid is like hey dad actually I have to be I'm I'm most late for school and you're like oh my okay fine we'll take you to fucking school and then you have a bad attitude because now because now it's such an imposition yes you know like now you're so used to just the robot put it there's it's all a one-way street where it's just with Jake wants the robots must take it and you have to stop this because this is as crazy as the people who say hey I's taking over everything and it's gonna lose all jobs in everything in life there's the far on either side the other far as this I'm so much closer to being right than you are yes obviously won't yell at your kid and tell her shut the fuck up or whatever but I do think we will erode social like oh we're already we're already we're already we're already almost there when nobody talks anybody and now we're just we won't even FaceTime and then we won't even call somebody on the phone we're now we don't really face in each other talking you just in no one talks anybody now and for money for money to my friends it's an awesome job the best job in the world by the way facts well I'll tell you what I do what changes that for me is a wife and kids because you and if you go this route okay I this is interesting it's they're all everything that is real about life and it's different from the craziness of our game and our life it's all that all the time they couldn't care less about anything about my journey of like the I had a fucking insane they'll be like right right right right can we go back to literally telling the most interesting story about us of course and everything is them so you're the robot in your family or the dad I'm just yeah but that's yeah that's your role is to just well but also kind of but also just to be in it then you've got for me I had the friends that I kind of faded with once the fame started sure well you're like you're not my real guy yeah yeah then you've got the inner circle sure the inner circle you really I mean two of the guys I grew up with are here with me now one lives here Bushwick and the other one I literally apple gave me one extra ticket for PR so my buddies here at the hotel and I was like let's just do the trip together the three of us we have to be honest we have to be we don't each other too a lot of course so then you go okay who am I gonna tell about my stupid dream yeah I'm not adding a new person to the circle I'm not going I'm not saying to my driver who's going here yeah yeah he's being like this big day for you today sir and I go like this I was being chased by a turkey in the day you want no art because then he's gonna cause wife and go that's one guy from tag was crazy and I would say you would be making the world a richer place by doing that you would now now your shitty dream allows this man and his wife to bond and then you know and then they've got turkeys in the brain and then maybe that takes over there so conscious you know what you know what you know where I'm gonna actually agree with you yeah I will not agree that it goes to the point where I'm hysterically screaming at my children but here's where I will agree yes we might be taking some of the human weirdness yes and the human part of our subconscious that we used to talk about on the subway with a strange course and we are secretly sharing that with things selling us of course yes so our commercialism and our capitalism will get stranger but our social interactions might get a little more normal well you think see I was what they might might sell us then I might literally go like I didn't know they made lizard back and for 1399 out of China yeah I'm making a $20 mistake yeah absolutely there's a lot to sell us like here's what's gonna get way more interesting post AI of this generation the next one good wills but you want to do a good will to your born right now and you go like I want clothes from the 2020s you're gonna be like what is this yeah AI created something there was a company that sold it you could get it on Amazon for cheap it was trash it's really bad yeah it's a nightmare it is the nightmare it's a snuggie it's like a snuggie with a with a specific with a really rare minion and a tiny one of the main little tickler yeah yeah there was meant for the back but someone's like was this sexual and you go it actually wasn't it really wasn't it was actually a really nonsexual time you know it was one of the most it was one of the nonsexual times in the world culturally is a pretty nonsexual time honestly explain people are like I just think that a AI is a there again anything that is computer yes and is cold is you know it does take away the human section the human animal the warmth of the animalistic warmth of these interactions that's right even people who are horny for their a eyes would you do that's a huge problem okay is the like the AI boyfriend a huge boner I'm going to you and like it's agreed yeah yeah yeah yeah stop it that I can you are you're four years that is not something I could relate to huge boner and I've got three what is it called the virtual reality goggles on the top of my head and I'm going like this I just see a busty Latina in the goggles I just see her like one of my favorite moments was I was going to a buddy's house to edit something uh and he early on in the friendship yeah and he was like all right you want to bring it up and I was like this yeah and then he's like did I could probably get up from that female link and he was doing it the dragon over I was like fuck yeah he opens his computer and it's busty Latina's calm and we we we're good friends but there's something about seeing that level of intimacy not the masturbation sites you're telling me about of course which is I'm so fun you I'm aware but the real what you're really and I was like and I see Latina's yeah yeah I'm not wrong listen great check my you check my phone I bet you that's fucking firing up right now with your top three and what's the one search that you go I got a deep scratch I'm getting in this one I'm not proud of hmm interesting you know what I was into for a while what was um lesbian massage pornography japanese lesbian massage pornography these women are going in for a spa day but like a horny, lecherous lesbian
tricks there and they would trick them into getting their pussy's eat and they would be like, they'd be like, we're gonna use the warm sponge mess. What a trick. And they would put like a fucking, they would put like a thin curtain before their pussy. And they're like, is that hot? That's the sponges teeth? Why does that sponge have bad breath? I had a moment where my, I fired, the only time I've ever fired, I didn't do it right away. I took about a year, but I had my first lawyer in town when you like first gets started and they're like, you need an agent, a manager, you need everyone to take a cut of your money. And you're like, I do everybody. Of course, I mean, I'm in Hollywood. Of course, I don't know how this works. And you guys are all friends with each other. You all work for the same parent company. You all guys, yeah, everyone here has a $140,000 car and you all have, and you all have a shared in bed. And you know, like, yeah, but Sony, I was young and I was a yes, young. I was in my 30s. And a baby boy, baby boy, young guy getting cut out of stepbrothers. Cut out a few things. I was sitting or having a meeting with this high-powered lawyer. He was telling me all the clients he has where I was like, those are big names, brother. And I was like, I'm at the table with the guy who reps that fucking guy. That's a cool. And then he was asking me all the questions and human behavior tells me like, now I have to ask questions. So I went like, why did you become a lawyer? Yeah. And he like gave me a smile. Like, here we go. And I knew he had answered before. And he said, because being a professional pussy sniffer isn't a job. And he laughed. But I'm telling you, man, man, in the moment it hit me differently than he intended it. Of course, because I took it seriously. And I thought his goal would be to be a professional pussy sniffer. He didn't say to be a professional pussy sniffer of women I choose from a modeling line. Right. No, no. I had just lived in New York City. It's like a diagnostic tool. Yeah, but you were meant, but that all I literally thought was July 15th, New York City. You're in a subway that's packed. You're on the seven coming from. And you're one of those trains where you're like, everybody's coming to come in from work. Absolutely. Nobody's happy. I got lost on that exact train practice hell. It's smell and not a game day. No, no, no. So game day, you're just like, this is just regular. And you're like, if you miss one stop, you got to come out into the air. You're like, everything's great. You're like a pack of sardines, but they're not starting. It's it's in a sardine's pack, but just mixed fish. Right, right. And you're like, it should, it should be the same in the same oil. Yes. And I thought of him walking around to the women there going like this. Please take off your sweatpants and the woman's gone. This is my job. Yeah. And going in the rocking and I go, this is what his dream job was and I have him representing my contracts. That's to get literally instead of being like, this guy's a fucking idiot. Yes. Well, I was like, first of all, I'm not your guy. I'm not that kind of broy frat guy. Of course. So people always think I am even back in the day. I'm like, don't love that. Yeah. I was like, that tone doesn't work for me. But I thought like I was like, oh, because I did look like that. Awesome, dude. Oh, no way. You basically raped people. You're fine. I was raised by a single mom. That's awesome, bro. You're literally what I was raised to be afraid of and hate. Well, that's good, man. You have a baseball cap on. That's awesome. Dude, you have a lot of power in society. Nice. That's awesome. Guys, like you kind of run everything. That's fucking sick, dude. It's fucking nice. Dude, that's fucking awesome. How you view women, dude? It's the first time we've talked. You brought this up 17 minutes into the meeting. Literally we started talking. You said we should do something. I agree. Yeah. You said, yo, you're from Chicago. You a Cubs fan. I go, yeah, you made a comment that was scary about physically assaulting half our population. Professional pussy sniffing. Yeah. Also sniffing is like that. Everything about its terrible. If you said, you know what? If he would have said this to me, uh, receiving hand jobs isn't a job. You can do professional. I go, fine. Cause guess what? Close your eyes. Yeah. Or because receiving hand jobs from petite-ish hands. Sure. Then I'd go, yeah. I mean, I wouldn't want to do a professional way. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. But doing that professionally, semi-pro. I want semi-pro. I wanted to go pro realize I'm not cut out for that. I don't have the cock. I don't have the cock resilience for it. I'm from I'm allergic to a lot of lot of lotions. It turns out my dick's moody. Yeah. I got to get hard every time I don't have it. And guess what? You're beautiful. You have a great hand. Bitch just got nothing to do with you. Me and my dick are moody. That's fucking awesome. I'm sure that guy's doing really well. He's righteous. How? That guy's at prize the biggest house of all time. Well, let me tell you about the dink coming out July 24th. Tell me about the dink. I'm sure the dink is about a guy sniffing pussy. He's a professional pussy. He's like, he's based on this guy. So the dink is about a professional pussy. He's never who loves AI. And he has his hands. You know what? Sign me up. You know what the dink is and it was by intention. I'm really curious if you watch it. When you watch it, send me a DM what you really think. I'm not sensitive. I will. I will. I will. And now that we've gotten an order, I'm truly not sensitive. Yes. I believe you. But I wanted to make a movie that in Sean Clements with a T Clements. Oh, he's fucking. I love that guy. He wrote one of the funniest guys have ever met. So fucking funny. Yeah. His joke writing is so funny. I love doing their podcast. The Hollywood. Yeah. So fun. But he hazes such a killer. But Sean, as a dude, we did a animated show years ago. And I was like, this fucking guy's bits are so good. Yeah. I mean, if I get in a meal and he goes, this was pre-election. And he was like, what do you want to work on? And I go, something that almost feels like, yeah, rock is music. Yeah. Yeah. I want to funny. I want set pieces. I want to get to work and be like, this is the bit. Yeah. I want a very clean structure. I don't want anything to be teaching. What do you think to be pointed or anything like? Here's another idiot with a strong point of view. Right. Right. I was like, we all have such strong points of you. I don't, I wanted to just be a fucking 90 minute movie that's fun with really funny people. It's great. And he goes, what do you know about pickleball? And I go, nothing. Yeah. And he goes, what's your opinion on it? And I go, I couldn't have an opinion. And he goes, he goes, because I got a movie about it, the Ben Stillers producing. And he gave me the pitch. And I was like, I don't know. And then there's a whole second half of it that I was like, well, that's really fun. Yeah. Yeah. And then he started pitching some jokes. And I was like, let's fucking do that. Totally. So that's the movie we made. Love it. I really love it. It's really fun. I'm so curious. It's no reviews have come out. And now whatever the date is, it is actually, this is still early. Never mind. It comes out July 24th. I'm like, I just realized last night because I haven't given it any thought. Yeah. Yeah. And I was like, are they hiding? No, we're going to get murdered. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. That is that is very scary. But I mean, I don't even if we do, I've seen the movie. It's so good. Yeah. That I'm like, I don't care. It's a great movie. I mean, everyone you're talking about involved in is really funny. I think Josh Greenbaum directed it killer. Awesome. Yeah. I think the, I think the, and I think it's also a very funny time for pickleball. It's kind of the perfect time because I almost feel like even six months earlier, people were taking it too serious. I agree. And now it's kind of in the sweet spot where it's like, look, this was, I mean, dude, it's not taken. People were pretending there was going to be pro pickleball leagues. It's like, it ain't no one's fucking get cracking over a brusque of fucking one p.m. and watching and watching. Yeah. But it is fun to play. So what it is. And I think you nailed it. Is it's not watchable. Yeah. In terms of it's so playable. Right. Right. Right. Right. Right. Right. Right. And what Josh Greenbaum did in this movie. So the whole watching regular people have sex. You know, look, that's pretty successful. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I mean, versus porn stars. It's called amateur. Yeah. I don't know if you know. Yeah. Yeah. You think that's still amateur, huh? You think that hasn't been taken over, dude. Yes, I do. I don't know. You look up amateur right now. A lot of, we got a lot of professional, a lot of pros in there, sneaking in. And this is some, and I say that as somebody who, you know, after we've blessed me in Japanese massage pornography, amateur is a big one for me. Of course. I don't like, I just see a little bit of the studio system bleed. Yeah. But I don't think you're wrong. But what I will say, what I love about as a culture, we've gotten into porn talk by saying amateur, you're saying you're a man of the people. Exactly. That's something where we expect women to go like, he is a good guy. Yeah. Yeah. The porn. Oh, I look, and let me tell you, that kind of pornography, what would I beat off? Let me tell you, when I object to five women, I look at regularly. And if you were, if you think about 20 years ago, if you were like, I look at playboy, people would be like, yeah, now you're like, the kind of discussing pornography. I look at my phone while masturbating in Ali. I'm not like these scuzzballs. I prefer age. Anyway, masturbating. What are you? What are you? It's crazy to think about the fact that humans masturbate. And we know it and take shits and wipe our butts. And then just act like everything is normal to keep going. Disgusting. Yeah, dude. Disgusting species. I've had a lot of run-ins with huge dumps recently as well. And it is not good. I showed it was just shitting for one straight hour. I got a gross shitting story. I did a laid on this and then we'll head over to the Stavis World Hotline presented by Visible to answer some questions.
I got a call years ago to do a table read for a network pilot that I was not going to be in, but these two women wrote it and it was their presentation to the network. - Gotcha. - But I was already on Nougat. I think I done sees that one. So I think it was me, I think it was Pratt. It was like somebody, it was like, they just filled with people who weren't going to be in it. - Right, but we're eventually going to become hardcore Christians like you and Pratt. Whatever my religion of robots is. (laughing) - I'm so anti-religious. - Like a Christ. - You're going to be fucking worshipping mechic Christ. - What's even Christ's Zilla? - What's even sadder about me with religion was, my dad was half due, my dad was Jewish, my mother was Christian or Catholic, raised with neither. My kids asked the other day, what's the difference with Christian and Catholic? And I went like, well, you know, and then I literally went, I have no idea. - Yeah, yeah, yeah. - We never went down the road. - Of course. - I don't know what these religions even believe in. I was like, I pretended, but I'm like, if you never go to the services, and you were never raised with any religion, you go like, well, no, no, I understand. It's very different. There's a lot of intricacies. There's, and then I go, I have, religion is as far to me as Harry Potter, which I've never seen, I go, I know that show is about, like, little kid wizards. (laughing) Outside of like what they do in deodorant. I'm like, I don't know. - So when you mentioned like Greek Orthodox? To me, you're saying there was a building and-- - Yeah, just that's all it is. It's like Greek Orthodox is like, we're talking, we're talking like stained glass. It's just a classical church. - So the characters from the deer hunter were Greek Orthodox. - You ever see that movie? - I have, but I haven't seen it since I was a child. - It's where they are. It's like beautiful-- - Catholic churches also have stained glass. So maybe-- - You have a beautiful old world songs. - Yeah. - I have to rewatch that. When I was a fucking kid and being like, I'm in the movies now. That was 18, didn't get it at all. You know, I'm just like, God's, just waiting for the scene where they play Russian roulette. That's all. - Because I'd seen the family. - See the guy parody of it. (laughing) - Like not even the Simpsons parody, which almost feels like higher art. But it's like-- - The not even feels like. - It is higher. - I mean, it's so many of the moot, like I don't know what Cape Fear was. I definitely saw the-- I definitely saw the side show Bob Cape Fear before I saw any version of Cape Fear. - That's our generation difference. - Yes, that's so funny. (laughing) - 'Cause I remember seeing Danero and Cape Fear and being like, this probably the scariest thing I've ever seen in my whole life. - Yeah, it was awesome. I thought that movie's so funny. - You see the new one on Apple? - I haven't. I haven't. I'm a little, it's one of those things where I'm like, everyone involved is awesome, and I'm scared to watch it. Because the original-- - Not even the original. - But 'cause the score says you want it so good. - It's like, how could you be scarier than that? - You can't. - And we're talking about fucking Anton Shiger. The guy who played Anton Shiger, and I'm like, I still don't know if you could be scarier than the new one. - I think what Danero did in that one was showed you, 'cause I mean, this is what he used to be able to do. What real psychos are like? - Yeah. - And when you come across a real psycho in a moment in your life, you're like, you are so scary to my soul, my bones. - Yeah, yeah, yeah. - And other actors are scary in movies, but the scary actors in movies always do the like, (laughing) - Real psychos don't laugh. - It's too operatic, absolutely. A real psycho is so-- - And they scare you before they talk. - And there's no logic to them either. You can't figure them out. It's like I'm gonna yell at them. - Yes, absolutely. - It's like seeing a raccoon when you're going to the garbage, and that cone is mad at you. - Yeah, and you go like-- - A rabbit raccoon. - You go like, what the fuck? (laughing) - You're a little bear with razor hands. - I hate you. (laughing) - Absolutely. - I hate your ass. - Yeah, so I've not seen that one, but maybe I'll rewatch the fuckin' Deniro one. - So listen, don't, on Apple TV, check out Slow Horses, and then on a different network, check out the Scorsese, and Deniro Cape Fear. - And then don't forget the ding, (laughing) - And that's in the blizzard. - If you wanna see that in that order. - In that order. - Slow Horses one. - Do it. - Cape Fear, Scorsese and Deniro. - Well, and then-- - Well, so I mean, let's be honest in this era. - Yeah. - Just hit playing, go in the other room. (laughing) - We're not even selling anymore, go to the movie theater? - No. - No. - And by the way, here's what I'm also not selling. I'm not asking you to get Apple. - Right. - If you don't have it, they're not expecting you from Denk. Denk was a smaller budget. - Right. - They're not going, you know what's gonna happen with Denk? People are gonna get a new streamer. - Right. - If you have it, hit play. - If you don't like it. - Yeah. - Walk in the other room, you fucking asshole. How hard is that? I'm trying to feed my family. (laughing) - He's trying to feed the family to ignore so we can talk to Clark. - Yeah, and then go to Max and play the game. Then, you know what? If you want to be nice, go to the area you can rent and rent my whole movie. - Yeah. - Yeah, there we go, there we go. There we go. - You think? - Yeah, take that, you fucking animals. Now, let's, why don't we solve some of these people's problems with the visible hotline? Aldous, 904-800-STOV, what do we got here, little buddy? - What's going on at Stavvy, Fineldus, and. - I'm not playing Dickey. - What's going on at Stavvy, Fineldus, and see, and see, guess, I got a little bit of a predict man on my hand. My girlfriend, and I have a dam for about a year at Stav Noener, she's had this friend who can really, really describe as a dumb bitch. - I think you could describe her so much. - When I was. - She was going through a little breakup, and luckily, Ms. Carey, this piece of shit. - Well, I'll go leave you, baby. - Come on. - Then, like, three weeks later, she got pregnant, again, with another piece of shit. - All right, man. - There's like some influencer, bro, who says he's trying to help guys return from the military, but really, he's just a piece of shit. - What? - He's an influencer helping people return from the military. - Return from the military. - Is that what he's saying? (laughing) - Anyway, all right, there's a little too many judgment, judgments here, you're not being very objective, but let's just hear him out, I guess. - In the military, but really, he's just a piece of shit he doesn't know what the fuck he's doing. And he's about like five feet tall, too, which is hilarious, but anyway. So, they've been on the rocks to last like two weeks, after the baby's been born, because this dude, who doesn't work, he just has a foreign business, this dude just goes out and works in the fucking woods. Leaving his daughter and baby mama at home, that's kind of like, feel-wish-it-them-sells. - She's been like, all the fucking time, I just keep hearing about it. And my girlfriend, at one point offered, if you have to leave, you can stay with us. And, is this guy can't use that? - Or the baby mama. - Yeah, the girl, yeah. - Okay. - You can stay with us. And, if she's getting abused, that obviously, I want to get her out of the situation. - Okay. - Oh, that's good. - But I think she's just kind of being a dumb bitch. - Okay. - And she just dipshit. And I'm gonna have to fucking deal with this dumb shit. - I really don't like to attitude, man. - I don't want to fucking do that. So, I guess, how do I talk to my girlfriend about saying that her friend isn't welcome at her house unless she's getting abused? - Unless she's getting abused. - What do you want her to do? Show you a fucking black eye. This is a hard one, stuff. This is fucking crazy. - That's a crazy one. Is there any more to it, Elders? - I really don't want them in our house. - Them, who? - The baby and her, no. - What you think, and if you could give me, it would be fucking great. - I do have some thoughts here. Okay, obviously this is like a fucking mess, right? No question about it. Your attitude is not helping things. The caller's attitude. You're being kind of a dickhead about all of this. And I'm not even saying it's not, obviously this is fucking annoying. This is dropped on your lap, right? But even if someone was awesome and they were going through this situation, it's not like you'd be happy about it. It sounds like to me the thing you're the most annoyed at is that this may, you know, you might have to deal with the fallout from a friend of your girlfriends having a bad living situation and potentially abusive. And it's funny when you draw the line at, well, if she's getting abused, it's like, what do you think's going on, right? You think what's happening is good right now? Like, where do you draw the line? What are we talking about here? If she, if this woman is like destined, if a pregnant woman with a two-week-old is destitute, even if she's annoying, you won't put her up for a week while she figures her shit out. I think like, I'm with you on this topic. I feel like this sucks, obviously, but you are being a little selfish here, because the person who, yeah, this person is like, and only you need to look at it through your, This is your girlfriend, right? Like, this is. extension of your girlfriend. So it's her friend and you're doing your girlfriend a favorite. Don't think about it as like, uh, you know, I mean, even if you saw it as like one ring, for how long? Like, I think, well, that's the thing. You have to have a very specific, so no one here is telling you you have to care for another newborn, a newborn. And then this guy is going to be coming around and you're like, now the stepdad and now the dad hates it. You're like, no, it's a weird world, brother. I'm not saying, absolutely. I'm not saying this guy's on the hook long term, but I'm just saying like a transitionary padded letter. And I think yes, if possible, you have to talk to your, I do feel like you haven't had much communicating with your girlfriend about this. You're sort of, you see yourself as like, and maybe some of your frustration is that you don't feel like you've been, uh, heard here, where your girl's like, whatever you need, stay for five years. I don't care. Like, sometimes, you might feel a little resentment because you don't feel, uh, you know, like a party to this. And if your girlfriend is offering your home indefinitely to someone, that's an issue even if they're in a horrible situation. But I think, I think the way to look at it is you got to communicate here. You got to talk to your girl and be like, Hey, this is fucking, you know, what's going on with whatever your, your girl is crazy. Do you think we're going to have to like, like, let's talk about what we can do, what we're comfortable doing, what we're, what we're able to do. Yes, but you have to have a set deadline. Now this is hard though, right? Because once you let someone in and if they're not figuring their shit out, do you then kick them out? So I, I understand your, I understand all of your, where you're coming from. I just think you need to also be just a little less, just don't be so judgmental about all this thing. Don't be such a fucking asshole. It's like, she's a, and he's five foot, by the way. It's like, okay. But here's why you roasting all these people and what is even going on here. So here's what I feel in the podcast I do. We're here to help that we apparently stole from you. Of course. Really interesting idea where people call any you. But, but what I'd look, it was launched after Gareth didn't mind. That's pretty interesting. Well, when he pitched it to me, I'll tell you, I hadn't met you yet. I didn't know you were the first time I did your show. I go, it is similar. I hear what he said. No, no, we don't know. No, no, no. But here's what we stole from love line. Here's what's different. And here's what I'll say it makes us hard, which I would love to be able to do. And you could steal this back from us. I just have too many questions for this guy to go. I'm like, this was so so many things. Yeah, that I'm like the way he talks about the influencer guy. Yeah, what even is that? But by the way, I also hate that guy, the guy who's like, when you get back from the mills or you do this, but you're making it up, that's the boyfriend. He might be abusive. I got 10 minutes of questions. Absolutely. If she's being abused by that dude, I get it. You're a good guy. You're fucking pissed off. Bring her in. If this guy comes by, you got to stop him. He's five feet tall. You can. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Right now he went to the milter, so he's probably a little tough. But five feet tall is five feet tall. Yeah, did he even go to the, we don't even know. So I, it's like, I have too many questions right now. This one has a lot of questions. I'm going to go 100% to you and go, your attitude's weird. Also, and the thing we're reading, there's no punctuation. It sounds like how he's talking. I don't think this was a computer mistake. No, I'm like, break up the thoughts a little bit where he would go. Like, he's five feet tall. I'm fucking man. I had a year. Oh, yes, today. I also have fuck your ass. And I hate that you're like, no, you're right. I'm not so emotional. He's so emotional right now. He's so, you're in it. He's also as perfect. Yeah, absolutely. He's in his feelings. You're just, you're going full force. And I get that. You're pissed. I guess that is the only thing we can tell you right now. Because you're in a fuck the situation. We're not going to say you're not to join relax. Just chill and also try and figure out what your feelings are. Who are you mad at? Yes. Are you mad at the boy, the girlfriend, the boyfriend, your girl? Are you mad at your living situation? And you're really mad at you're with the wrong lady. Right, right. Because you're a guy who obviously isn't that open to others, which is fine. But you know, there's some people who are like, my house, Mika says you sue costs. Totally. And there's other people who you go like even when you're friends with them, you go in their front room and they're like, ready to go. Right? You're like, I've never seen the back of your house. Like, I can see you're, I'm not going to fucking do weird shit. Totally. You might just be in the wrong life right now, brother. You're going out hospitable. He's so mad at this little five footer. Yes. Then it's like, who are you really mad at? What is mad at is that he's mad at her girlfriend's annoying friend. Yes. Except this time, it's not just, oh, she got drunk and now it's on him. Now it's like, what's got a baby that I might have? But he's also mad. He's happy about our miscarriages where you're like, that's a different level of mad. I can be like that one friend of my wife. I didn't really like that much. Yeah. To be like, I'm really happy when she got hit by that car and hit it like that's another level of man. I know. I know. So they're like, you hate. I even see what he's saying where he says, but it's just like, you don't want to put luckily miscarried together. Even though I do get the sentiment. Yes. But by the way, I agree with the sentiment with certain people. You go, I'm happy that didn't have honestly for the kid. I'm 100% for everyone involved. For everybody involved, you guys, it would not have been right, but there's a way to say it. You got to like pause, take a breath. So I would love to ask him, who you mad at, brother? Who you mad at? Because you're mad at somebody. Yeah. And it also might be yourself a little bit himself for letting himself get into the situation. You might be in the wrong life. You might be looking around and really the solution is to go like this to turn to your beautiful girl. Hopefully you don't have kids and go, I'm done. Good luck. I'm so you guess what? She's moving here. Yeah. The kids moving here. Little five footer influencer is going to be barking on this door. Peace. Yeah. Absolutely. And go. He did say they've been together for a year too. So that's a big milestone in itself. And it's like this. This might be a little more than I bargained for for a year and a year. You're dating somebody for a year and she's moving her friends in with kids. That's too fast. That's insane. That's a great way. You're in the essentially the honeymoon period still of how do we live together? And that might be what this anger is. It's like what I'm already here. I'm just in the year two of you. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I'm so it takes the first three to seven to go like, do I really like you? Let alone these others. If you're talking about spending a life with somebody, that's a three to seven year decision. That's why so many people break up and they call like the seven year itch. Yeah. Seven year itches because you literally go through kids where you're like, I love her more. And she's the best person. And then somehow it happens and you go, we're at your five. You like it. Yeah. Then when you get to seven, you've seen the whole thing and you go, let's do another seven. I'm either interim. Yeah. If you're out now. Yeah. Yeah. I'd never break down. Should it be a contract? I've seen every seven years. I would like to do that as I get deeper into AI. I don't want to hurt that decision. I don't want the truth is at a certain point, I want the power of that. And at a certain point, I do, I'm in the point of my life where I go, now that we have kids. And once I saw the marriage story that they move, I would lose in court so fast. Yeah. Yeah. But you would be, it is kind of your destiny to be divorced. But I hope you don't do it. By the way, agree. Yeah. But it is. Everything about your dreams. You are that should be divorced. That is not only not offensive. Stop it. Thank you for seeing me. You got to be the kind of people where we're not afraid. But I am destined to be not only divorced, have a soft pack of cigarettes here, lose all my money, and then go, you don't think I like living in a apartment in public. You're doing like, you're doing like the fucking direct to DVD action movies. You're the like, no, I know what it would be close. I'm not in shape. I'm going to be the doubt on a kid shot, like a nickel, if it used to be the Nickelodeon, it would be like some kid who's like, my name is Veronica. And then like the brother is kind of hot before 10. And the mom would be like, these two. And I just come in and like a work uniform. So fat. Yeah. But no, but it's that the worst kind of fat. I still am close enough to not be in fact that you're like, he, you can't even do the jokes here. And it's here. It's there in there. And it's the mom film. And so that you go like, when the character bends down your neck, it's actually better if it's face, if it's not face, that's even funnier. Because it's only it's weird when someone has a fat face, but a ripped body. But the opposite for an actor is so funny because they're like, you're close up to go. I'm clearly just get, I'm just doing a job. This works. This week. You go my full shot of me and the wife walking in from vacation. I'm a pair. Yeah. But divorce in that. Yeah. So my destiny is if I can fight that, I made a good deal with the spirits in this one. I'm doing okay. Because you are dead right. Yeah. And I've talked to my wife about it. You know, when I had kids, I'm like, I can't believe I'm not just leaving. I can't believe my kids. I can't believe. I'm raising you guys. Keep doing the AI. That's right. That's probably what's keeping you in that life. Because what the AI is for you is living the world where you are divorced. That's exactly where you have no one but the robot. That's your debt. You get one AI conversation a day to stay there. I'll give you that. You get you get like the
The Pope's like a special. - There means the world to me brother. (laughing) - But the second you get divorced, you gotta let it go. - And I gotta, if I, if my wife ever leaves me. - Yeah. - I may get a promise to you right now. No way I, that's a lie. - Excellent. - Yeah, so much AI. I mean, it's gonna get so much worse. - Oh yeah, it's gonna get dark. - Yeah, yeah. - But yeah, that's so, you know, I think maybe we'll answer your question. Who fucking knows? Next question, Eldis. - Uh-oh, what the fuck? - Holy shit. - What the hell? - Oh my God. - Okay, can you believe it? It's time to, it's time to fucking keep it twisted twist. (laughing) - It's the mother fucking ass fucked up question of the week. Brought to you by the little fuckers of twist and tea. (laughing) - Well, this is next level, man. This is, yeah, next level. - Yeah, it is. - Twist and tea is its own music, you know what? - We, we created this all day. - We're, we keep our, we keep our motherfucking. - Just like the premise of the show. - We steal in this. - I do me and Darryl, Darryl, Darryl, Darryl, and in here. - And then it's like, twist. (laughing) - But it's ours. - Keep it twisted, not like Stavvy. (laughing) - Keep it twisted, just different enough. (laughing) - What's the mother fucking ass fucked up question of the week, Eldis? - Okay, Stavvy, so basically here it is. I'm a transgender girl, I'm 32 years old. I'm fucking two guys. I end up finding out that their brothers and their brothers that fucking heat each other. (laughing) - And for a while now, I think it's been a secret. - It's just like fuckers and modern Shakespeare. (laughing) - Totally. - This is beautiful. Holy fuck. - Totally real. - I'm trying to go with two brothers that are each other's rivals. - This is us. All right, Eldis. - And their brothers that fucking keep each other. - Twist and question. - And for a while now, I've been keeping the secret because I don't know, I think it's been kind of like funny to like fuck both of the brothers separately and not tell them, but one of the brothers says that he wanted to try and settle down with me and be in a relationship. I end up telling him that I'm fucking his other brother. He acts like it doesn't matter. Until he comes and sees me and after he starts freaking out about me fucking his brother and saying that he wants to like kill his brother and fuck him off and like, basically I find out they're completely estranged. Don't talk anymore and I'm afraid that he's gonna tell the other brother, forget this. Every time I fuck brother one, literally days later, brother two always finds his way over to me. So I'm fucking these brothers back to back. Do I need to tell the second brother that I'm having sex with both of them? Or should I just let it be and let them find out on their own? Thanks, Stabby. - Keep it twisted. - Honestly, you might be keeping a little too fucking twisted right now. You might be keeping it all. You're keeping it way too twisted. You got to keep it a little, 'cause the last thing, much like a twisted T which is 5% alcohol by volume. - You're a pro. - It's actually the perfect beverage. Will you keep it just twisted enough? - Then why aren't you drinking it? - You don't want it. - Keeping. (laughing) - If you can't get into it. (laughing) - Keepin' that shit twisted. - It's honestly so fucking good. - I fucking love twisted T for real. (laughing) So you're keeping, so for example. Like we said, beautiful 5%. - Yeah. - This isn't, if this is some kind of crazy 20% by volume beverage where you're getting too twisted, you're sort of getting a little too twisted right now. - I think, I think there's really no, completely estranged brothers who have a cosmic connection through hooking up with you. And that they are, they are connected somehow. - We can fuck you up. - We can fuck you up later. - We are. What are their birth charts? I think you, first of all, you might have some kind of magic to you. There might be some. - You agree with this. - You might have some type of powers and perhaps, you know, are your families connected in an ancient way? You know? - Or is there some kind of. - He making his twisted, I see it. (laughing) You don't care, keep it twisted. Now you're talking about witchcraft. (laughing) Are you some kind of talisman for their family? - You know, I'm talking. - I think (clears throat) - Could sex with you bring him together. - Ooh, yeah. (laughing) - You get, I felt that word by some brother. - You know what, I would actually. - That's a ruffle. - Yeah, hit me with it. - Invite him both over on the same night for a three-way. (laughing) And here's why, these are fucked up brothers. It's a weird situation. They can't get over it. One weird three, it's either gonna go very sideways. Which is gonna go that way anyhow. - Or something's going to happen while they're making direct eye contact with each other. - We're gonna be like kissing. - You're my brother. (laughing) - That would be, if you wanna get direct to the heart of it, that's how you gotta go. But I'm really worried about. I think you kinda have to. What kind of a strangement is this? - Violence. - Yeah, it seems pretty violent. - What's up with them? - It is interesting that they both, they both have completely similar tastes. That's very fascinating. - I think in a way what you're saying, Jake, is like already happening on some level. Their hate for each other is fueling them to go to her. - And it's like one puppy each other. - But you could be connected through her. - You could be connected through her. Like one guy, he fucks one brother, she fucks one brother, and then all of a sudden three days later, the next guy calls. - Right, so just stop beating around the bush and say, not only do you have to tell him, let's say maybe we do like one of you fucks me, the other one watches, and then like, you guys, whatever's going on. - So you're sitting, you're sitting. - I'm going to your witchcraft stuff. - You're saying let's turn into how twisted it is. - And let's lean in so that you guys can lean out. - Right. - But let's have a night. That's the weirdest night any of us have ever dealt with. And the end of it, it's 6 AM when we are all done. - Right. - Completed the hiring. - Look at each other and go like, I'm sorry. We had a fucked up childhood. This is really dad's fault. He always told us against each other, man. But I don't hate you. I hated how you treated me. - Right, right. - But you treated me that way because he treated you that way. And then go, we both love this lady. - Right. - That's just fucking. - Let's start a family. (laughing) - Let's start an 86. - Yeah, yeah, yeah. - Just the three of us. - This is, so yes, like when you skit into the ice, you're supposed to turn into it. - Yes. - Maybe that's your, this is the turn into a solution. Now if you wanna be a coward, I have to give you the less twisted advice. And say, I think this is so powerful. Whatever's going on here, I would just be like, this is like, if you find a million dollars in an alleyway. And you're like, oh, fuck, that's so, but it's like someone's gonna find it. You know, it's like, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. - Twilight doesn't. - It's more, it's more, whatever happens there. Someone's looking for it. Something, you're entering a crazy world. - You're entering this relationship that is very, like it's fully estranged brothers that happen to be fucking the same girl at the same time. There is something so fucked up and cosmic and powerful about that. - You know what I would test going off of this? - Yeah. - Find somebody you know in your life who's got a brother that they're not talking to. Fuck him, then contact the brother somehow and see if he tries to fuck you. 'Cause you might have the giant. - Maybe she's the strange brother to good men. - Yeah. - Oh, she's a really shitty ex-man. - Boy, whenever, once you fuck one brother, three days later, another one of them tries to fuck you. - He's like, yo, I was just in Guam. (laughing) - I don't know why I'm in Philly. (laughing) And then he goes, can I buy you a beer? (laughing) - And you just go on the bar, you look at the camera and go, you can. - Yeah. - Because you might have the kind of giant that's bringing-- - Oh, that's interesting. - Families, we don't know where she's at in her transition. - That's true. - What if they have a new type of vagina? - That is magic. - That is magic. - You're totally-- (laughing) - And then maybe she's got some kind of like, first gen magical-- - It's perfect. - You know, a reconstructed pussy that does attract, through the genes, attracts brothers together. - And if so, that is such a valuable thing to have in life, that I would then dedicate your life to doing this. - Well here's what you could do with it. Let's say some guys' brothers are a prisoner of war. - I was just missing an action. - Or-- (laughing) - Because it's a guy from Vietnam-- - Come down to the woods. - And 80-year-old do went native. - Yes. - By the way, and he just comes out, and it's like he can smell you. There's a knock on your door, and you're like this. He's like, he goes to fuck you, and you go, "I think you're looking for Ronald." - Yeah. (laughing) - And he's there, what a super power. - So, okay, check that, fuck a different guy, and see if his brother fucks you three days later, just to do your scientific research. - You know what you could also do? - Yeah. - You, this is sperm donors, anything like that. If you're, or you were adopted, and you never met your original family? - Just or anybody who was in, I never met my birth parents. - So, fuck this woman, and see if some random guy goes by, then you're just fuck you fuck. - Yeah. (laughing) - You're right, you're right. - The worst case scenario. - Yeah, you gotta nut off. - Yeah, but you go like this, and then try it with women, be like, we scissored.
and then see if sisters come, see if brothers come, but you could reunite families. - That's true. We don't even know if it just is brothers. - Try everything. - Try everything. So scientifically try that. And then if I were you, if I was this woman for real, I would just be like, I had my fun, I want no parts of this. I think I would watch my ends of this. - I think this is like, it seems like there's some kind of, how does she even figure this out? - Yeah. - Like I guess there's similar last names, but I mean, I guess same last names, but it's just like, or maybe they look alike, I don't, it's just so, this is another one where I have so many questions. - So do I. - Where would you meet them? How did they, whatever. And I think I would just enjoy, I would just get these guys off the roster. And if I really wanted to settle down with one of, if the one that wanted to settle down, then I would just probably pick that one and just stay estranged. - That's cool. - You know, if they're so estranged, but at the end of the day though, you're kind of letting this bubble, this is just too, I would not want to deal with, all I'm saying is I wouldn't want to deal with this 'cause the other thing is the very, there's a very, there's a very twisted ending to this. There's a murder sui. - They could get bad to this, you know what I'm saying? - Like who knows what the fuck's going on here? - Be safe on this one, they could get bad. - What kind of a strangement? Like, and then also, you know, so I don't know, I just, be careful. - Warring, I'm thinking, I don't know what kind of brothers these are, but I'm thinking like, old world estranged brothers who fucking chop each other up with machetes because one took more olive groves so their grandfather allowed them in his will. So I would just have enjoyed the brotherly cock and I would move on, but I would do the experiments we discussed because they do seem very rich and you owe it to the world. - And if so, you're one in a billion. - You're absolutely. Well, that ought to do it for this week's fucking mother fucked up question of the week. Brought to you by Mr. D. (laughing) And remember folks, always, always. - Keep it twisted. - Ah. - That's a great memory. (laughing) - Who knows you got for us a little LD? - Hey, Stov, eldest, blessed guest. So, I'm a dad of a 40 year old, and my son's been going to the same preschool for a couple years. We really like the school, but honestly, a couple of the cooler families last, when they got to go to the public preschool, we have a collaudity system here. So you get in, you have so much money, but we haven't yet, but a couple of the other families have, but we move to where we live now from New York, a few years back, and so, you know, it's been really nice to have some parent friends. The problem is that our son, his taste and friends, doesn't always match the parents that we like. - Interesting. - Like his best buddy, recently, of one of these kids, his parents, you know, we live in the South, so a lot of the kids are Christian, but his parents think to be pretty evangelical. I mean, the kid himself, I mean, he's four. He's fine, he seems like a sweet kid, but I mean, like obviously, then hanging out is whatever it's fine, but this month is when a lot of kids are having birthday parties, and it's like every Christmas weekend, we're going to a birthday party. But anyway, like our favorite parent friends who left the school last year, they're having their birthday party at the same time on the same day, as my son's like best buddy of the month. And it is awkward enough that he's old enough to have an opinion about where he would want to go, and like what kids he'd want to hang out with, but it seems to change with like the weather who his best buddy here. - This guy's setting the groundwork. - Yeah. - To go against his child's wishes, so that he can fucking talk. - Yes, come on. - As Fakaccia, with a guy he likes, instead of fucking put us out with an evangelical family. - Yeah. - Like, and on top of that, he doesn't seem to like, you know, what's happening every weekend, but come on. - You know, I just, I don't think he would realize until after that we missed one of these parties, but I also feel like I would be a pretty big asshole if I was like, this is black one too. - This is black one too. - You have no case. - You have no good that we like more and not the one that you like more. - This is insane. - Also, poor, so it feels weird to me. - Truly, this is crazy. - I know. - Twist, do the twisted song. - Yeah, yeah, yeah. - This is twist. - This is more twisted than the other one. - This is way more twisted than the other one. - The other one is just a lady who's like, I fuck like it in his brothers. - This is like, my kids friends are actually my friends. - No, you know, yeah, what are you talking about, dude? His best friend or a kid. - I don't care if you go to school with anymore, but you like his parents more. - Stop it. This is the big issue I have with this era of parent and it's not everybody who's just different than when I was growing up. - Yeah. - The parents think they're part of it. - Right, right. - They do, like, they'll be like, oh well, it's so much better when we get to do this. I'm like, - Other fighters, when I was growing up, you got on a bike. My mom would have no idea. - Yeah, of course. - I'd be like, I was friends with these three dudes and then it would be like, you'd go to the parent's house and they'd be like, who are you? (laughing) He was like, I'm sick of this. I used to do like, the parent will go like, you're mine, you're mine, I've never seen you. You're mine, and then everyone gets fed. Nowadays, it's like, well, let's curate it. And then we'll take family vacations with those we like and the kids will make it work. - That's crazy. - That's absolutely wonderful. - 100% you go to the party and then guess what? Soon they're gonna be drop off parties. - Yeah. - Make all your friends, make all their friends. - Okay hang out with those people when you want. You drop them off and you hang out with the dad, you're actually friends. - If the dad wants to hang with you, reach out. - Exactly. You can be friends with a guy and your kid can be friends with a kid. - But you can, don't have to. - The only time that you're being invited is for a kid's party. You ain't friends. You're not friends with him. - That's a good point, that's a good point. - They're going like this. - I would love to hang out with Karl, yeah. He'd better my son. - Yeah. - Listen to what you're saying. - Yes. - Yeah dude. Even him being like, well you know, he said he probably wouldn't even realize it until it's like, yeah, are you fucking kidding? A four year old wouldn't realize he's hanging out with his bet. - The bottom line. - The best friend. - Contact the guy, say we're going to this other party. Let's hang out. And you know what he'll say? - No. (laughing) - No. - That's awesome. - A four, he'll say yes, but dude, this one is black and white. - It's so clear. - Do not do this. - It's like, should a kid, oh should your son get to decide what beer you drink? Because he likes the bottle more. It's like, no man, he's got a fucking friend. You should be his dad. And it's like, yes, exactly. Try and hang out with the guy, and that is very funny. I would love to know if the guy does one hang out with you outside and follow up. (laughing) Let us know if the guy rejected you or if he's, because probably what he'd do is string you along. But yeah, this is interesting. And thank you for bringing the parents. - Yes, that was clear. - Stonvy, I gotta go. - Yeah, of course, no, no. - Sorry. - Absolutely, no, we were wrapping up anyway. So that is gonna do it for us gang. Go watch the dink. - Thanks man. - I can't wait to see it. Go watch, I mean, you're a fucking girl. A lot of stuff can happen. - Oh. - And I can't wait for a special man. - Thanks. - Where are you doing it? - Netflix. And you're recording here now, and we're-- - We're doing it in Baltimore, it's gonna come out. It's gonna come out on Netflix in the fall. I think we're gonna announce the date pretty soon. We're, I think we got it locked in. - Okay. - Yeah, I'm very excited. We're about to record it. - I hope so. - Please, Lord, don't let me break any more bones. We'll have any fucking catastrophes happen to me. But, you know, hopefully it'll be good. I can't wait. I've worked on it pretty hard, honestly. But yeah, go see our boy, Jake, in a myriad of things he's got going on. And Jake got slow horses. (laughing) Bye, guys. (upbeat music)
Podcast Summary
Key Points:
Jake Johnson discusses his upcoming movie "The Dink," a comedy about pickleball, directed by Josh Greenbaum and produced by Ben Stiller.
The conversation covers the cultural perception of shows like "New Girl" and "Parks and Recreation," with critiques of their political themes.
Johnson shares stories about being cut from "Stepbrothers" and his early career struggles, including a memorable audition experience.
Weight gain, Ozempic, and testosterone use are discussed candidly, with jokes about rapid weight fluctuations and Hollywood pressures.
The hosts debate AI's impact on society, with Johnson using it for dream analysis but criticizing its broader implications.
A caller seeks advice about his girlfriend’s friend, a new mother in a potentially abusive situation, and the hosts advise communication and setting boundaries.
The final segment features a transgender woman secretly sleeping with two estranged brothers, leading to humorous and bizarre advice about a potential threesome or experimentation.
Summary:
The podcast episode features Jake Johnson as a guest, promoting his film "The Dink," a comedy about pickleball. The conversation begins with banter about the movie’s release and shifts into a critique of popular shows like "New Girl" and "Parks and Recreation," noting how cultural perceptions change over time. Johnson recounts being cut from "Stepbrothers" and reflects on his early career, including a nervous audition where a busboy simplified his role.
The discussion moves to weight and body image, with Johnson and the host joking about rapid weight gain, Ozempic, and testosterone use, while criticizing public figures who hide their use of such drugs. They also debate AI, with Johnson admitting to using it for dream analysis but expressing concerns about its societal impact and data exploitation. The show then takes calls: the first caller is frustrated about his girlfriend’s friend, a new mother in a possibly abusive relationship, and the hosts advise empathy, communication, and setting limits.
The second, a "twisted" segment, involves a transgender woman secretly sleeping with two estranged brothers; the hosts offer wild advice, including a threesome to resolve tensions, while also suggesting she prioritize safety and move on. Throughout, the tone is humorous and irreverent, blending personal anecdotes with absurd hypotheticals.
FAQs
'The Dink' is a movie starring Jake Johnson, and it comes out on July 24th. It's a fun, 90-minute comedy with a clean structure and no strong point of view.
'Slow Horses' is a spy show starring Gary Oldman. It has a 97% rating on Rotten Tomatoes and is described as pretty fun, especially the first season.
Jake Johnson noted that 'New Girl' was popular in season one, but in season two, it became uncool to like, and he received backlash. He remembers it as a good show throughout.
He advised the caller to communicate with his girlfriend about what they're comfortable doing and to set a deadline. He also suggested being less judgmental and understanding that the situation is difficult for everyone involved.
Jake Johnson is hard against AI, saying he's never seen anything good from it and that it maxes out at a fun novelty. He believes it's a tool for the ultra-rich to maintain control and erode social interactions.
He believes that as long as an actor does the job and remembers their lines, it doesn't matter if they smell like a brewery or use substances. The key is performing well, especially emotionally, when needed.
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