#181 - Jaboukie Young-White

Up by welcome everybody to Stavis World 904 800 stuff all in we'll solve all your problems on the couch today in the Beautiful lower Manhattan temporary studios of Stavis world. We have Jabuki young white. Thanks for being here Jabuki Yeah, dude, you've had a lively discussion already That's the thing you motherfuckers. You don't get the good stuff We we really let loose before before the camera start start rolling, but it's a gloomy day here in in New York City We're coming off a couple beautiful days. Yeah, and this is real podcasting weather. Mm-hmm. I couldn't bring myself the podcast when it was 80 degrees Oh my god, you gotta get inside. You got to get in an outside. You got to get in a tank. This is good. This is intensive Muse think about I spice mostly, you know, yeah, shout out to her for holding it down in McDonald's getting John Olds and then also keeping brand awareness Held her own and I'm back in I like seeing I first of all More than holding her own the fact that she was in a McDonald's alone ostensibly kind of late. I don't I don't know. I just saw the video. I didn't really like even really key in I didn't get the details But it's like I love that from a fucking cuz she's she's not just famous. She's like young pop star starlit famous, right? Which is the which will be taken away from her, you know what I mean? Like that sucks, but that's how the world works Right, right society like a young hot woman is like the most a famous a person can be because you're both famous and you just have The desires of being hot and like just like how everybody one society wants to fuck you basically, right? It's just commodifying you, but that does make you the most famous a person can be I think yeah because the fame on top of fame Fame on top of being a hot woman. You're already famous. Yeah, societally speaking that is what that's how fame started Yeah, it was like hell and of Troy was just hot. Yeah, right like she was famous because she was a piece like from the Odyssey Right, like everyone else has like fucking slate giant slayer the man who could tell the future Apollo granted him and then it's like she was just a piece ass That was a fucking series of a bad big The type of middle star to warn into a world war. Yeah, but that's it truly is and even like growing up the pretty girl in class Super star. Yeah, I know what it's like to be in a room with Taylor Swift because I know what it was like to be in a room with like the hot girl And I was like exactly when you're in second grade and like the one girl who's like hair is like done nice And she's like and she's kind of polite. She kind of she kind of was like a politician. Yes, because there's also like a wait to her She is really trying to hold it all together. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. She's a symbol already. Mm-hmm. She's symbol. Yeah, we all it's like we need It's like yeah, well the way they would say when they would send fucking Marilyn Roe over for World War for like USO shows and shit. It's like that was for like dumb children It was like the pretty girl who like can tap dance or something You know what I mean? She just has like one random skill or it's like, you know, she's into horses or whatever Anyway, yeah, there was a wait. There's a lot, you know from a young age. You're carrying a lot on your shoulders. Yeah Big pressure big pressure, but yeah, I'm just so I Spices won me over again with the Afro Latino song and and eating McDonald's by herself and Having her cheeks out at SpongeBob Which was awesome respect being hot looking psych like a piece of ass right salute her because I like to think there's one Fat little boy Just there to watch SpongeBob and now she she is in that night There's at least one kid who went from caring about SpongeBob to caring about huge asses And she started him for the rest of his life and that's beautiful There'll be a kid who'll like in his fucking he'll be wearing a Patrick star shirt And he'll be like going to the premiere of SpongeBob changed my life I'm addicted to just caked up Roman throws away all of his my sister. I love video games Shut up mom. I'm like video games. Let's do that. I'm sure it's she's just like a walking coming of age Yeah, for real for real. I mean, I try to think what would have happened to me if I at 12 I Saw's I spiced in person changes my life forever Yeah, cuz I don't think we had access to people Like hot the hottest woman I was around was just like a pretty hot Girl in Greek town. It was like my fucking friends older cousin Right and that woman was again celebrity starts with beauty. What if I see I spiced when I'm 12. I think I go crazy I think I actually maybe it was too much maybe she drove maybe she drove a couple of children to insanity Salute to her though. I can't you know, but then that's good because she's kind of like steering them away from the Manosphere true because they're like well, I can't hate women too much. I can't wear it too much Yeah, they're so awesome. Is that the way we need to I mean, I do think ultimately that is the path That is the path which this is a big part of this this program We're trying to get people to just channel horniness in a positive direction. Mm-hmm. That's thing get so horny You see I spliced that you you pick up a craft But you're like I have what could I do? I got to learn pottery. I got to learn I got to be a woodworker I got to learn at least poetry like yes find your thing and be yeah, maybe that's good Smith in something Yeah, yeah, yeah, oh, man, a word Jobs program, but with like really hot ladies get in cells to fucking like both respect Understand that a hot woman knows more than you and can teach you stuff if we send busty ladies to show in cells How to fucking how to be become metal workers how to become fucking What is that you called? Welding. Yes, welders. Yes. I think this is interesting. We'll put a pin in this We'll settle this up, but what's up with anyway? That's just a little What's going on with you overall? You're you're back from Europe. You're like how you live in now? How you how you how you are you excited for our? Sprint the nice weather's got me excited. Yeah, how you film? Where are you in your life? What are you looking for to allergies? Crazy, right? That's tough snorting Zartek like I'm really trying to get through it But I love it. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah Love the warm weather Fucking with that I feel like this summer in New York crazy. I think so - there's gonna go crazy There's something bubbling. Yeah, it's like everything that we built up over the winter. Yeah, cuz yeah Zoraan Like Zoraan like the getting elected. It was cold. Yeah, no one's fucking frozen. It was too cold to get head Yeah, like to like to get because that would have been if that happened if the inaugurate or if he wins is like if our Elections are in the spring. Oh my god That would have been July. Baby boom. Oh Fucking there's a New York City baby boom dude happening for real people. Yeah, that would have been fucking awesome Yeah, so I do the Zoraan freak off what it went crazy Hell yeah, dude, and I do think we're due for so that's like that's a lot of potential energy that's gonna get paid off Definitely set you even felt it a little bit if we had two more warm days this month mm-hmm things would have got me 80 was crazy tank tops in April was nice, and I know it is May now folks as you all know it is mid May of course We're just reminiscing about what happened a month ago. Yeah, we're just reminiscing about a cool week a month ago Yeah, it was a great week and you were you were fucking you were getting it in Europe. You're across you're all you're on tour now We should say go see your bookies got a couple dates You don't know where exactly when just figure it out man. Go to the website go to the Instagram But you were you were doing the the Euro tour, huh? Yeah, that's a nice dude. Where'd you go? Do you like I loved it? Yeah, I went to London Paris Berlin and then Dublin. Oh, that's a nice Yeah, that's a nice one. It was just gonna be London in Paris, and I was like where else can I write off of my taxes? Well, yeah, it really is like I think when John Marco was here I was making fun of him for going to like India early. He's just going to stand up where I'm like all right I mean, I guess have fun. You're just going on vacation. Yeah, you're just seeing you're just seeing shit you want But those are some good those are the classics. Yeah, and Berlin is like I Don't know what the man everyone who talks about it. I don't I can't Place what it's like because you were saying it's like a fucking it's just bunching New York trans plans basically It was a lot of New York trans, but then it was also a lot of Germans. Mm-hmm, and it was interesting. Yeah, they That was like the woke is proud of every performance. Yeah, yeah, that's that's like that's the woke factory. Oh Because it's like so I mean, and everything it's like it's so freaky like the everything about the clubs. Yeah, the culture being like How many people go to like these insane clubs were wild shit is happening a ton. Yeah. Oh, yeah That's what that's like a big huge industry in the city, and it's like getting for like people are in like a dungeon Like you know sucking each other off while shitting or whatever, and then they're also like whoa Whoa, don't be fucking. Yeah, don't say that. That's kind of nuts It's not even like necessarily that. It's like there's this American sensibility that we have where it's like everything's fucked up But we love it right and they're like no, yeah, you actually shouldn't love that It's not funny at all I understand maybe like gallows whom you're trying to make the best of a situation, but you should fix that right It's a pragmatism thing. Yeah. Yeah, where they're like don't joke about that. Yeah actually serious. You should solve that. That's fucking hilarious. Yeah, I don't, I don't, I have no, because it wasn't also like Berlin, like crazy. That's because everybody thinks that there's sort of like not the Nazis kind of like, that's what you think of Germany in your head where you're like, when for me anyway, where you're like, oh, everything, well, that's where Nazis come from before that. They were just extra strength Nazis. But wasn't Berlin like crazy, like chill or that it was like, they were just on way ahead of the curve. Why am I? Which is kind of why this? Yeah. When he got reelected, when Trump got reelected, I was like, I need to figure out what happened last time. Yeah. Like what was really like actually going on? Yeah, yeah. I just started reading a bunch about why I was like, okay, so that was just Bushwick. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So that was their cool. So yeah, basically, we're just seeing what happened now is what started it. They just tried trans people in the 40s and then we got Hitler. And then they're like, all right, now that we're getting them going again, we got Hitler Jr. Is that really what it is? Well, it's so interesting because I feel like people are always like, oh, like homosexuality or like gender deviants is always a sign of a falling empire. But what I think is like the empire starts crumbling and people are like, what are the packets up to? Yeah, it's like, fuck it. Everything's falling apart, like, fuck it. They're having a good time. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So I don't know. It was interesting though. But Berlin is like a gigantic museum. It's like that you're not going to forget. Interesting. All right. Maybe we'll fucking go. I do want to go on a little fucking, a little just euro, because I always go to Greece. You know, my family from Greece, so it's like, it kind of feels stupid to not go to Greece. I'm like, who gives a fuck about Germany? Yeah, I want to go to the beach. I've never been to Greece. That's crazy. That's fucking crazy. It feels like there's so many different moments. Greece is the best. Yeah. Because it's like everyone just does. I mean, I think what, and I think also getting back to why my psychology is like what I'm talking about, I have, I'm friends with some horrible people. It's Greece is kind of like that where you're like, you can be with a literally evil person, right? Like some fucking, you're on some rich guy's boat who's a piece of shit, but he's a good time. And he's not, he's great. And he's not everyone is always trying, even if they like, like I met people who, I met like, you know, I met some like, we're just, I'm up with some friends and they have like, through friends of friends, they're like connected to these like, kind of like finance, bro types. And they were pumped to talk to Americans because they're like, oh, capitalists. He's guys are going to be fucking awesome. They're going to love, and I start talking about how we don't have a fucking healthcare and how despicable it is. Right. And they're like, what the fuck? Yeah. They're like, they're expecting me to be like, yeah, fuck, I love inequality. You guys should come over and fucking steal some of the money from the poor from us, but it is funny how like Greek like, like European capitalists see Americans. They're like, nice, dude, the real deals here. And so they were pissed when I'm a social, when I'm just talking about how no social, like this is your quality of life is better than America. And then America, what are you fucking idiots talking about? They were mad. And here, once, once we're conservative, find out you're a socialist, they're like, well, I don't want to be friends with you. You're destroyed. They're they're like, well, that's fucking gay that you think that, but let's get fucked up. Let's get fucked up and try and fuck some chicks and eat some fucking barbecue octopus. And that's the thing. It's like, you can have a fundamental disagreement. Yeah. Like, and there's still be like, you're a bitch, but let's get, let's have a good time. Right. But you can still have fun and you can still have fun and you can still be like, you know, boy, you could actually still literally be friends. And as long as nobody has actual power, that's fine. As long as you can't actually change the world, I do think like, I'm like, who cares if this fucking idiot thinks something stupid? I'm friends who think like they can control the weather with their mind. I have friends who think they were abducted by fucking aliens. Like, I don't, I never stop them. And I'm like, it's it's problematic. You think it's real? It's like, if you think something fucked up, it's like, I'll call you stupid. And then as long as you're not harming anyone, we can still smoke a joint on a boat. And I feel like maybe that's why Europeans can be more chill about it is because they all have this belief where it's like, I'm not going to ever really be the biggest person in the world. They're like, be a rock star. Well, it's a little more collective too. Yeah. Yeah. And I also think they just have literally lived through civil wars. So they've literally lived like Greece fully had a fascist versus communist situation. Really? And well, dude, there was a 90. And we're one of the like in this, what the CIA has fucked up montage. Greece is like a might because they didn't assassinate anybody. They just deposed. We had a leader who wanted to socialize, who wanted to like nationalize our not that we have the kind of energy that other places do, but we said a leader who wanted to kind of do what, what how, how they how the CIA assassinated, you know, most famously and most fucked up for a situation right now, Mosadek and in Iran, when he was like, Oh, obviously we're nationalizing the oil, the British and the fucking powers that we don't get our oil. And then they, you know, deposed him. We had a, a military takeover in 67. And we had a democratically elected socialist who was like, Hey, America, like, you know, you guys are intervening when, when military takeovers happen. And they're like, Oh, yeah, but like four fascists were intervening, not for fucking social. So it's like, yeah, my fucking dad, he claimed like this, like when people pretend to be cool, they're like, Oh, yeah, I was domestic terrorist. Like my dad's like, yeah, I fucking, yeah, I set off bombs against the fascist. I was cool. I don't believe him. Yeah, but it was like, you grew up being a fucking domestic terrorist or being a fucking bootlaker. Right. And they're happy to fucking be those identities in a fucked up way. And you still are in a society together in a weird way, where it's like, so you just had like, so I think that's part of it. They like, they did kill each other like in each, in Eastern Europe. And then you talk about fucking Yugoslavia, what all that kind of shit, they were literally civil wars. And then they like got through them. Yeah. So they've did the worst part of it. Like the thing we're worried about, they like fought in Japan. They did it. Yeah. Like they actually had violence with in each other where we're like, fuck, I hope it doesn't erupt in civil war. Right. They did it. So now they're like, well, we did it. It happens. I mean, I guess, yeah, it does have to happen at a certain point. Well, dude, I saw a really funny fucking, a really funny stat where it was like no country over this BMI has ever had civil war, and they're like, we're safe. We have to stop Osempi. We're right now. We got to get rid of it. The GLP was the powers that be invented. The GLP was to make us not fat, so we could have a civil war. And then the GLP was to create civil war. We did it. We figured it out on the needle. You know, it's so I literally believe that because we didn't have a cure for being mad for so long. And it's like, they're like, all right, we got to get this going. Fuck, they hate each other, but they're too fat to leave the house. All right. We got all right. I guess we got to get them less fat. That's that's that's genius, dude. We got to look into that. That's that's I think that's what's that. But anyway, so it is, but but that's yeah, great. You'll have a great basically. My point is just like you will have an incredible because having a good time is at the top of the societal like hierarchy. You will have an excellent time like hanging out is the I think that's what's made that's in the way that my culture has formed me. My like, you know, where I'm where my family's from. I think just being a guy that loves chilling first and foremost has helped me. But I mean, I don't know, you're your family's Jamaican. Yes. That's what I was going to say. It must be the vibe. I really want to go to I've never been to make that. I really want to go, but it must be the vibes must be like that where it seems like a great hangout. Like just have a good time place. Huge chillers. Yeah. Huge. I love that. Chillers. Also, wait, doesn't my name mean blow job in Greek? Sim Bookie. Okay. Sim Bookie. Sim with an M. It's I guess the way I would spell it would be T S. It's not it's not a it's not a sound that exists in America. It's like a it's a it's like a S J J T T J's S. It's like a T and an S and a J somehow. Okay. Sim Bookie. So the Bookie part. Okay. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. To Bookie. And I'm fine with that. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I think people would like to hear that. You know what I mean? I think you find some guys that are excited that your name rhymes like you'd have a great time as all I'm saying. Yeah. No, it's the fucking if fucking rules. But you did you go a lot your friend. When did your your parents came here like when? So my dad came here like late 80s, I think. Okay. Same thing. And then my mom came maybe like 89 90s. Okay. Sometime around. Nice. Yeah. All right. Hell yeah. And it seems from all you're from like the from your material and everything that we're in a similar spot of like the greatest immigrant mom of all time was like the sweetest person in the world that saved your life. And like a and your dad seems a little worse than just from like echolocation. Not that we're making it a bad dad contest. We can. But I think you guys because I've always said my dad is like he is the best bad dad. Like when when people have bad dads, I'm like, I'm happy I had my dad. But he is the worst good dad. Like that's kind of where my dad is. We're - Interesting. - He wasn't, we didn't go hungry. Yeah, he had some anger problems. Yeah, he yelled. He was like, the abuse was mostly not physical. - Okay, so it was like a no-bombok shirt off. - And he's not like manipulative enough to really hurt your feelings. - Okay, okay. - So even like guilt, yes, but it's also like guilt from like a guy who's not that good at pulling your strings. - Right. - It's just like, you just see the point. - He just brute forces it. Or he just hits you over there with it over and over again. So it's like, you know, at the end of the day, yeah, I have some psychological problems and I have some anger issues I have to get over now, but compared to some other stuff, it's kind of, yeah. - But still, like even just seeing like, an Instagram story with your mom, I'm like, that feels like she's connected. That feels like a variant of my mom. - Seems like a nice, smiling woman still. At the same time, no, there are things you do that she hates, but she lets that go. Like my mom is, when my mom lets it, when I hear this, when she actually is real with me, and she does hit me with a sew, are you ever gonna fucking have a girlfriend? Like she's even gone, she's off of grandkids now. She's like, just date a nice girl. Like when she shows me her disappointment, when it finally speaks in. - Have you got a girlfriend? - Hunter. - Not since college, and she loved my college girlfriend. And she met the last really serious relationship I was in. She met her, but it was like, we were in the pro, it was so fucked up, we were in the process of breaking up. Like we could both-- - Wait, when she met her? - It's a really fucked up situation. And it like, all the legit, like I do think there's a, sometimes I think back and I'm like, wow, the logistics of that relationship. I think if like one thing goes different, we don't break up, but it was like everything kind of, like we were getting in a fight, we actually were in Greece. And then I remember one time we were trying to rent a movie, and to this day I think, but we couldn't, it's like Greece and they have like weird, it's the hotel, it's like eight, they have like 20 options, right? To this day I think, and they were showing Mamma Mia at a movie theater, right? And I was like-- - Which they're just doing 365. - Exactly, I mean, it's like tourists that are like, "Mama Mia," and so we missed it. And I was like, I'm sure we can get it in the room, right? To this day I think, if we had watched Mamma Mia, I don't think we break up. (laughing) It eventually we break up probably, but I think the trip gets saved, the power of song. (laughing) I really believe that. Because what we did instead was we had heard about, it was fucking, fuck, what's the. It was a good movie, but it was so not. Sorry, it was sorry to bother you. - Oh yeah, yeah. - Which is a great movie, but it's not. - It's not an ugly thing. - When you're fighting with your girl on vacation, you don't wanna think about, you know, you don't want like avant-garde communist cinema. Cinema's not gonna be what fucking, what like, wait, wait. So we tried that, that didn't work, and then we watched "Ocean's Eight," and that dead none of the magic of "Ocean's Eleven." If we even got "Ocean's Eleven," maybe "Ocean's Eleven" wins us, buys us two weeks. - Right, right. - But to this day, sometimes I'm like, I bet you, if we watch Mamma Mia and sang some Abba, I really think we would've gotten them, at least a six-month extension. - Yeah. - On that relationship. So anyway, but so the last, and even, I mean, but even the, my ex and my mom met in a precarious, she loved her too, and she like kept, she would always be like, "Oh, I see she's doing this." Like, she's really cutely would be like, "I watched, you know, her stuff." And it was, "You know, she's really talented." Like, my mom's a really beautiful, like, she kind of likes my exes more than me on some ways, 'cause they're obviously, you know how immigrant moms are, she would fucking kill somebody for me, but I just mean, I just think she likes when a nice put together woman. She just, and my mom, all boys. I think you're the same, three boys, right? I'm three boys. - Where do you fall? - I'm the oldest. - Same. - Oh, look at us. You know, and I just think like, she never got to scratch that edge with a girl. She never had a girl. I'm sure she wanted one. - Right. - We had a, my cousin, we didn't get to see as much, the only on her, on my mom's side, the only girl. We didn't get to see her as much as we wanted to. So I think there's like, I think that's what it is for her where she's like, she just wants so. - Yeah. - Like, you know, and she's great with both my sisters and law. Like, they have, you know, my mom's the best mother and like you can fucking hope for. She's not a bit, you know, she doesn't have that class. - She has some. - But she just wants. - She's being a little greedy. - She, thank you. She's being, do you ever get that? Do you get the like, what are your brother's situations? Are they? - No, so my youngest brother, isn't dating anyone, my middle brother, like sort of is, but it's like a long distance thing. Are you single right now? - No, I'm seeing someone. - Oh, you're seeing someone, okay, nice, for a while. - It's been like a few months. - Okay, so you're, we're, yeah, yeah, yeah. It's not jinxed anything. - Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. But not at the level where mom's getting involved, at least. - Yes, yes, yes, no, I see, I see, I see. But yeah, that's the, that's, that seems to be the like, and so they came, so they were already like married, or what's the situation when they came over? Your mom, they're both Jamaican and met in America or how to go. - They, um, so they were engaged to separate people. - Oh yeah. - My dad had already had my sister, who's like maybe 16? - Okay. - 17 years old. - Wow. - Um, that's fucking, he's like visiting Jamaica. Um, my, and I think he's married to my sister's mom. My mom is engaged to a pilot. - And while pilot, yeah, right. I'm like, where is that guy now? Like, I got some pre-flight. - The pilot in like the fucking, we're talking the 90s, it's pretty good. - That's nice as fuck. - Pilot Jamaica 90s, right? - I don't know. - Come on. - What was your dad up to? What was his job? - He might have still been working at a factory. - Yeah. - Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. - But he was back, my mom and my aunt were like being kind of messy. And my aunt was like, so like the wedding's coming up. Is there anyone that you would call off the wedding for? And my mom was like, I don't know, I mean, I guess if condo, like burst through the church doors, like, I'll be like-- - Oh wow, your mom's sitting there dreaming of a fucking of like interruption of an 80s movie styling. Speak now, she's dreaming of speaking now. - And not I do, speak now forever, hold your peace is what she can't wait for. - My aunt was like, oh, interesting. And then she goes to my dad and she's like, Norma said that, she would call off the wedding. - Oh wow. - And then my dad goes over and is like, do you want to get married? And my mom was like, okay. And then my aunt lent her address and they got married at the church that day. And I did not know this until I was like 23 head just moved to New York and was like visiting my aunt in the Bronx. And she's just telling you this, like, it's a fun story. - Yeah, she was just like, did your parents ever tell you like how everything happened? She was like, you know what was me? - Like wow, she's like the oldest sister. - Dude, that's fucking insane. So they had dated before or something? - They grew up together. - Oh wow. - They'd known each other since they were like, single digit. - Wow, until your dad went off, had a kid. - Yeah. - Started a family was like, you know what? Rough draft. (laughing) - Rough draft, let's get back. - Let's get back to my roots. Who's the pretty girl I grew up with? (laughing) - I remember growing up like my sister's mom used to be so shady to us like whatever we would see her at things. - Yeah. - And I'd be like, okay, whatever. Like she's kind of a bitch, you know what you're like? - She's the most vindicated woman on earth. - Of course. - Yeah, I'm like. - You imagine being this woman and having to see like three cute little boys and like, you know. - Girl, let's get a drink. - Let's. - Let's like, let's dish. Like, let's just talk. - Oh wow, you should become friends with her now. That's a very, yeah, just two people. Your dad has a wrong. (laughing) - Oh, that's great. - Oh, that's fucking crazy, dude. And you know what, that's beautiful because that's the social media era has cost us those out of the blue insane moves. - Oh my God. - Because your mom, now, today, they're like in each other's stories. They're occasionally cheating on their spouse. And you know what I mean? They're occasionally hooking up. They have a messy situation ship. This is the first time that I think situation is a real thing. Before I was like, oh, that's just dating. But it is a type of sort of your quasi, it's like quasi real, quasi not. It exists online, it exists. Like most situations, if you take dating, or if you take social media weight, don't exist. 'Cause I think there's a light in my, the way I look at it is like that. The lifeblood of a situation ship is like, on a random day, when you haven't even thought about this person at all, there's one Instagram story lead to them being in your life for two months again. - Yeah, yeah, yeah. - It's like, it's not someone that you actually truly give a fuck about. It's just that you're constantly reminded of them because of how you don't really exist outside of the internet anymore. - Really? - Or like you, people mainly exist on the internet. Back then, your mom's just thinking about him. It's building up, your aunt senses it. She says some wild shit, like being kind of a, and then you get these explosive out of the blue, like betrayals, which we don't get anymore. - No, because it's also like, you can come to terms with being a villain to like your immediate surroundings, but now that's gonna go on to go. - Yeah, yeah. - You're like, that would be like, you'd be the main character for the week. - No, no, you're right. that now everyone has to have PR campaigns. Back then it's like, your dad wanted to fucking just marry your mom and he's like, I'm doing it. And then I'm fucking moving. I'm going to a different cup. Then even if people could get annoyed, I'm leaving the country. And you never have to think about the evil you do ever again. That's another thing. Social media has forced us to see our mistakes forever as opposed to being able to just be like, you know what, I'm a different guy now. And I think we should be able, like, I think the fact that you used to be able to take a horse to a different town, 30 miles away and say your name is now Jonathan and that you're a fucking classic professor. And then everyone would be like, and now, yeah, I'll be teaching Latin here and just pretend you're a Latin professor in Montana. And then you could live like that for 20 years. I think that's good that we were able to get unlimited fresh starts. Same. You just be like, you know what? I don't really want to be a piece of shit anymore. I want to be a learned gentleman. I'm not going to college. I'm just gonna, I'm just gonna buy a stovetop hat. A little bow tie. Yeah, I want to buy a bow tie in a vest and tell people I went from, you know, I'm a lettered man. But that's, yeah, this is an old school thing that you let the feelings build up and you never have to actually deal with a social backlash. And I think we need to be less connected so we can do more fucked up shit that makes us happy. Yes. Ultimate. Ultimately. Because now I think people really do think like everyone is a fucking, everyone is a fucking like executive and everyone is a PR, everyone is a publicist. No one is just a person. And your parents were the definition of messy people who were like, I just want to do this more than anything. I know it's going to fuck everything up but I don't care. I'm just doing it. I'm just doing it. I'm leaving. That's fucking crazy dude. That's fucking nuts. Yeah. That's all I got here. And so they, so they get, they get married in Jamaica and then your dad comes over here first, you said? So he was already here. Oh, he was already here. Yeah, yeah. Yeah. He was just like there. Oh, wow. Which then makes it even more. That's even more, that's even crazier. That'll happen with Greek people too. We're, so like, I know a lot of kids my generation where their dad is some fresh off the boat Greek guy who fucked their mom when she was on vacation and just got, and you know, they're not, they don't know about the, they don't know about the pullout method yet. So we got a couple like, a couple of people who were like conceived on vacation in Greece. Like Greek American girls go over, you know, visit their cousins in the mountains, fuck some mountain boy and get pregnant. They're like, well, guess you're coming to America now? That's, that happens quite a bit. And they just bring him, just bring him. Why just because of like traditional? Like, well, we're going to rate this. Well, yeah, it's like, it's kind of traditional. It's like, you know, because if we're talking about people my age, then our family, then our parents were talking about, you know, people who were, this shit's happening like the late seventies through the eighties type shit. So they're still kind of traditional. And it is a, for all, for how party and fun it is, it still is in weird ways, a conservative culture. Even though it's very open-minded, it's like, with traditions, like, for example, it's just the kind of thing where it's conservative in that. No one really believes in God or talks about the gospel's message or anything like that. But you have to go to church. It's like that kind of thing where it's like, you just kind of have to do it. We don't really, and probably each generation is getting less and less. But I guess so it's about traditions are very important. Right. And I also think they have that thing that a lot of immigrants, I don't know if Jamaicans are the same way where it's like, we really want you to end up with a great girl. It'll be fine if you don't. You know, and neither of my brothers did, and nobody ultimately gives a fuck. And you know, it's not like anybody looks down on them. But if I came home with a Greek girl, - Yeah. - They would be a static. - Fucking pumped. - Yeah. - Pumped. So I think that was part of it where even to this day, sometimes like, like Greek people will just tell me, like, just go to Greece and find a wife. - Lily, you should go to fun Greece, find a fucking village girl, like bring her back. Like that's still viable for certain, like, Greek town is still a, they basically a bunch of Greek people created a village in a shitty neighborhood in Baltimore. And they all kinda, it still has, it still stays a little traditional in that, they're so connected to their version of what Greece is. So is that number one Greek town in America? - No, no, we're probably, we're probably pretty low. I would say, a story is pretty big. - Oh, true, true. Detroit, I don't know if there's that many Greeks left, but they had the big diner culture. - Chicago actually has a really big Greek town. - So many amazing Greek diners in Chicago. - Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. - I thought that every diner was Greek until like I got-- - A lot of them are though. That's the thing, that's the thing it's like, if a place doesn't have good diners, that means there's no Greek people there. 'Cause we fucking, we really do diners and just shitty eateries well. Is, did your parents go straight to Chicago? Or is that, 'cause you grew up in Chicago, right? - My one uncle, Hopewell, great name. - Jamaica's crush names, oh, so good. - Hopewell? - Yes, as a name, that's not even a phrase. - Yes, they have like, no exactly. - No, exactly. - Exactly, like they get the British sounding whimsy, but then also the black creativity. - That's a great way to put it, it's so good. - Maybe that's what's confused me so much. I'm like, why am I enjoying something that is British coded? (laughing) - Yeah, yeah, yeah. - He was already there and then my dad came and like, joined him there. - Yeah, yeah. - I think my uncle was like a barber or something, my dad was like, yeah, we'll do this. Oh no, my dad had been doing that. He started like, cutting hair when he was 12, he dropped out of school and started cutting it. - Wow, really? - Yeah. - Cool. - Yeah, yeah, yeah. - Yeah, my dad dropped out. And he was like an apprentice woodworker at like, literally me, he dropped out of middle school. - Really? - So a similar thing where he was just like, oh, I guess I'll just pick this. And just never thought about it again. Just like, was a woodworker and was like, yeah, I'm good. And he is good at it, but still, it's crazy how just people just like, yeah, this is my job now, whatever. Now we're like, fuck, everyone's like, like, fuck, what should I do? My dad just, I'll just get a job that's fine and just work and then I'll fuck and get fucked up with my friends and play soccer and try and fuck tourists. Simple, nice life. - And he still is a woodworker. - Still is a woodworker? No retirement plan, still. I'm still like, so how long are you doing that? You're like, not in great shape, bro. - What does he do? - Dude, he's an incredibly talented, like whatever you want to do. - Really? - He's just building a custom stuff. - Yeah, his stuff's been like architectural digest. - Holy shit. - He's built like, he's built stuff for like super, you know, like super rich people have, like, he's made, he'll make bespoke anything you want. - Whoa. - He's so fucking talented, but he's just, and there is a path where he should just become like an Etsy store and make like, and just make like, mark up shit. Like he can make like a fucking coffee table. - Yeah. - And he could just find design. He could just do dupe. He could just make doops out of wood. - Whoa. - And he would make so much fucking money. - Yeah. - And I did, there was a peer to my life where I was like, hey dude, I could, once I graduated, or dropped out of college essentially, once I fake graduated college. - I couldn't have done as a graduating. - They let me walk. - Like you self graduated. - Dude, they let me put the cap on. - Okay, so you graduated. - Yeah. - I pictured me with the cap and gown. - You fucking did. - I graduated. (laughing) But I was like, oh, 'cause I didn't want to get a job, 'cause I knew I wanted to do comedy and I was like, 21, and I was like, look, I can work here. I'll make you a website. I'll market the fucking, like I was really like, we can actually have the thing he always was like, why don't you ever want to work with me? Like, and I called this bluff and he was like, nah, I'm good. He just didn't want to do it. He was like, ah, I don't want to fucking do all that shit. (laughing) And I think he didn't want the oversight. I think he was up to, he was up to some, let's just say Jamaican style monogamy activities. Greeks and Jamaicans have that in common. (laughing) The culture of the flexible monogamy (laughing) with regards to the man. I think he kinda, his workshop was based of his social operations, 'cause he had like a huge woodshop with a little office and shit, where I think he, there's a futon in there. It's like, what do you get a futon for, pops? - Right, right. - You know what I mean? - You're not in that. - Why is there a box of wine? (laughing) - Why is there a friend in your mini fridge? - Next to the brisk iced teas that you're paying daily. - Yeah, and they're like, it's so fucking, anyway. But I always did think about like, fuck, I wish. He just is so fucking talented, but, you know, and I was just like, dude, you should convert the garage into a small workshop and just fucking make little shit. But he just is addicted to his, you know, his way of, you know, whatever. But I'm trying to, I am trying to reconnect with my dad right now and it's good. It's like, you know, just kind of an interesting, you know. I, 'cause you know, at the end of the day it's your dad and I don't know if you've gotten to the point of being like, just having, you know, just empathy for your parents where you're like, your lives were fucked. - Yeah. - You shouldn't have, you shouldn't have had this much responsibility. - Right. - You didn't know what the fuck you were doing. - And I also just think about like me just upping and going somewhere. - Yeah. - That's crazy. - Yeah. - It's like, you're required to be an American. - Right, right, right, right, right, right, right. - Even this, I'm already like, this is too much. So like, you're in a completely different country. Like you at their age starting the fuck over. - Right. - I mean, I'm like approaching the age that they were when they had me and I'm like, I don't know how the fuck you guys did that. - Yeah, yeah, yeah. - That's crazy. - No, that makes fuck, that makes a lot of sense. So, okay, so they come over here and you're like, So where are we? What's the you clearly are you do you have a good relationship with your dad? How's it going now? No, no, no, it is not existing nice doesn't exist He's still with did your parents split up or no, they're still together. Oh, that's fucking That's so fucking funny. Yeah, yeah, you're kind of it's so funny how you're mirroring because there was like when my when my parents were still Together, there were years right didn't speak to my dad, but talk to my mom. Mm-hmm. It was so weird. Yeah, so weird Yeah, it's like it's like when you're like when like your friend from college. You don't like the roommate and you're like this Frank Gonna be there right last time you said he wasn't gonna be there and I showed up and you made me fucking have lunch with him Yeah, we're all like back in Chicago. She's like do you want to come over? I'm like, is he there? Yeah? Yeah, who's there? Who's all hanging out right now? I know when you guys it got to the point where I just be like Is he there or not man? Yeah, like I'm trying to trick right. I know like what do you think is gonna happen? Yeah, like both people are gonna be like Oh awesome. We've just complete both of us became completely different people Just the last time you tried this four months ago Like do you think that's what's gonna happen? You think I'm straight and yeah, he's not a fucking I'm always like I think I'm like you're leaning too much on your contributions to me like and there's also half of him in here So like that's a great way to that's so funny. Yeah, that is so fucking hilarious, dude Oh, so they stayed I would have assumed they just kind of you know, well like they immigrant staying together that and then they've known each other for like 60 years Wow, you just like are not gonna yeah, like switch that up. Yeah, they might have a good thing They got a good thing going right like yeah and even if they don't it's like An inexplicable thing going. Do you know what I mean? It's like yeah, maybe not really good. Yeah. Oh, I don't even know exactly It's so established and it's like so familiar. I do the same thing. Yeah, I would yeah Are you thinking about that you think about just hanging a toxic marriage for I feel like four or five decades in yeah I am actually I think I would yeah, I guess I just would never get to that point. Yeah, that's the thing that is very shocking about like I don't know what it was about why so many people just kind of I guess people just didn't dream to think about anything better Is it that simple? It's just like oh, you know, you fucking get married and then you feel like our generation is the first to like seriously take time and be like Am I enjoying my life? Yeah to even have that as a true thought. Yeah, other than when you're on like Weekend trip like people would only let that sneak through when they're getting fucked That's why that's why there's that whole thing of like oh when you you're drunk. You say the craziest stuff It's because no one was ever honest with themselves So they just like gave they gave themselves that window of like I'm drunk. I hate everything about my life fundamentally And then you wake and then you're hung over the next thing like whoa, that was not crazy night. I said some stuff I didn't mean Anyway back to the fucking office and my wife who hates me I think you're right. This is kind of the first time that that's even a thing. Yeah, like everyone before us was very plot first Mm-hmm. It's like I'm just getting to the next point. Yeah, life is just a series of checkpoints. Exactly. Yeah Yeah, yeah, and now and it's a combination of We have the most time and also the least resources as a generation where it's like we can't even have right a lot of people Who probably would just fucking? I'll get married and have a fucking what it can't like they can't even I mean they're having kids they can't afford them or whatever, but they can't afford a house they can't afford it so the shit so people like all right It kind of forces you to become like an island nation with a bad economy and just be like having a good time When great. It's like Greece or Jamaica millennials are left to live like Greeks and Jamaicans Really like we were born for this. Yeah, really really were you're so ready for this I went to Greece in the in the middle of the economic crisis everyone was pissed But they were still getting fucked up and having a good time It was crazy how much better the vibes were in Greece when everyone's pensions are getting slashed No one can people literally 18 through 40 can't find jobs and everyone's like they're like They act like how like we would act if like it it like you know if it rained for three days in a row Like they were like they had to cut. They were like as a nation They were mad the way we'd be mad about bad weather and it's like that's fucking awesome That's it. I wish that for us. Yeah, I mean it's possible. I do sometimes think about just going back baby I think about a Greek a Greek retirement that would be really nice. Did you go a lot? Did they do you go to Jamaica a lot or no? So I went when I was Five okay, and then like when my third brother was born It was like we were too broke for that so then we didn't go back until I was 25 and I took my mom and my brothers Yeah, and then I went back again a few more times after that and I'm kind of overdue. I want to go again Yeah, dude, yeah, yeah, I like yeah, I mean there is there's that thing. I found this thing where I'm like Oh, I love this play with Greece. I used to you have a complicated relationship just because it's you have all your family baggage But then when you realize like I can just come here by myself right I can just have a good-ass time on the beach and fucking You know whatever you have a bunch of family there still or no yeah a lot of family. Yeah Yeah, one of my uncle's has like 40 kids Respect respect Real bod man Real rude boy and the rude boy of the year Goes to hope well Goes to Chauncey hope well living spin the third That's fucking awesome, dude, fuck I got to check it out. I got it. I do want to go to the crib I've just never I think I went to Jamaica on like a fucking senior trip and I got sun poisoning And it was and it was like and like the least famous road rules Like the celebrity guest was like some guy was on real world And he was just like a grown man trying to fuck teenagers It was like it was the most disgusting trip I've ever been on But you know, I'm not gonna fault Jamaica for a weird teen a teen resort thing Where I saved all my money working at a telemarketing firm so that I could go I was like I'm gonna get pussy in Jamaica It's gonna be awesome and then I just got sun poisoning Well, everybody else did get pussy. It's actually still it was the way I think about Mama Mia And how different my life is if we get Mama Mia on that vacation with my ex sometimes I think what if I didn't get sun poisoning Because literally that night that night would have been the night to change my life right? I would have been I would have gotten I would have gotten some head at a at 18 instead of in college Mm-hmm, you know, I would have I think it would have solved everything that would have really set you off I really think so I think it would have made me a less a person who cares about because there is the like You just have to come to grips as an adult as a straight adult man who's as a as a recovering in cell, right? When you this struggle is to be like Look man, no matter what you do you're never gonna go back in time and get pussy at 16 So just stop you can fuck as many girls at 30 right in your 30s as you want It's never gonna make you cool in high school, but that but sometimes I do think like what if I just and not even on It's not like I wasn't cool. Just like I just couldn't get over the like you know just like I just I want I just was so I just felt like such an inadequate Loser that I think you spent a lot of your years trying to prove you're actually cool Mm-hmm, and it's like this. What are you really getting out of this? You know what I mean like yeah, so sometimes I think like what if I had but what if I had just what if I never even to think about that? And I got the fuck and and I've said this story before on the podcast, but All of my friends hooked up with somebody and there was one Chubby girl that nobody fucked and I was like It's cartoon rules. Everybody gets the one Alvin Alvin all the chipmunks girlfriends just look like girl verses of them There was like some like kind of like and she wasn't it was like it was it was hysterical I was like fuck that literally is like if you would draw my cartoon girlfriend It's like a fucking tan girl with big titties and a little. I still think about her sometimes just a random girl I never did I never did. Oh, whoa. I did the next day. They just like showed me pictures They're like do check it out. They like group picks with everybody and they were like do check out this girl There's nobody to fuck her you could a fuck there and I literally have thought about that girl forever Whoa, it's just like a girl. I think I've made no Lord knows I have no way of figuring this out Probably it's probably not looking too good if I'm being honest. I look like this and I'm rich My fucking Baltimore class it wasn't it was a different school. It wasn't our school. Okay, but yeah, no, I'm not I'm doing better I'm in a different situation. You feel like you still would have done comedy. I Think I ultimately would have done comedy But sometimes I'm like what I've just been like a fucking like the most fun lawyer in Baltimore Well, you know what I mean like what I have been like because I also tried to do like Were you were you did you try and do anything before or were you I mean you were really young I'm feel like you were doing you getting shit going really young. - I started doing stand-up when I was 19. - Yeah, yeah, yeah. - And I wanted to be a lawyer for a long time and then I took AP English and AP US my junior year and I was like, okay, if this makes me want to kill myself, no. (laughing) What am I going to do in law school? - Yeah, yeah, yeah. - And then I was like, let's start rethinking that. - Yeah, yeah, yeah. - But yeah, that like funniest lawyer that really speaks to me. - I really do. - Do you ever see like closeted stand-up comedians out where you're like, they're happy. - Yeah. - That's how life should be. - Yeah. - We have turned what should be the "murth you give your friends and family?" We've commodified it. I really think it's a problem. I really do. My whole life is fucked up. And I'm stuck, I can't change now. But I really think you're better off like, even joy, truly what stand-up is, just like cracking up your friends. Podcast, I mean, we're not even doing stand-up anymore. Like the economy has run on podcasts, which is just having a pleasant combo with your friends and making each other laugh. Why aren't we just, why are there mics here, Jibuki? Why aren't we outside having fucking coffee and talking about our dads and not pulling any punches just the cameras are here. But we've made it so our careers depend on this. - Right, right. - And sometimes I think like, yeah, I was so much happier when I wanted to get laughs. 'Cause I'm pouring that energy into my community. I'm pouring that into making everybody happy. I'm looking to make people laugh. And yeah, I'm scratching my selfish itch. But at the same time, it's mutually beneficial. - Every, yeah. And now, obviously there's very bad versions of that. When a guy, the guy who can't stop riffing, tough guy. There's, yeah, they exist, but what are you gonna do? - The best case scenario is the guy who can't stop riffing, knows he's bombing, but it's so compulsive for him that he has to keep going. And then it kind of loops back around. - And it's almost huge. - You can just be like dude, we got it. And he can't help him. - Those are funny guys. - But that's really the only time I can accept it. When it is like a type of Tourette. - Right. - When it just is a type of Tourette. - Yeah, riff Tourette is bad. Yeah, I don't know dude, I do think my life would have gone in a different direction, but I don't know. Do you ever feel that, is there any kind of like, where do you, where do you, like, you know, were you always like creative growing up? Were you like, did you wanna do shit like this? Were you into, what were you into at all? 'Cause for me it really was kind of, it is kind of sad how one note I am. Where it's like, I was a comedy nerd. All I thought about was stand up. I've dedicated my life to it. And all the time growing up, I was like, this is a huge advantage. And I do think it was in terms of doing what I love. But it's a disadvantage in that the rest of my life is kind of not as developed as I poured everything into that. So I don't know, how did you fund? 'Cause again, you do, yeah, you started when you were 19. And now, I mean, I started when I was 19, but for 10 years no one cared about me. And you started when you were 19, and you did the tonight show in like, you know, nine months. So we have different, and that's, I mean, I'm sitting on you. Even when we met, I was like, I always thought you were funny. Because you know, when a 19 year old starts getting stuff, you know open-micres are trashing them. Oh my God. But I was a defender, 'cause I was like, this kid's funny, dude. And it was like, yeah. The comedians are the most hateful people on earth. Well, because it's like, there's no, like I actually, we might have met at Sydney and Marie's show in that hookah bar. Do you remember that? Whoa. This was like 10 years ago? Yeah. The fucking karma? Carmelown? Carmelown. I think it was Carmelown. Oh my God. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I think it was Sydney and Marie's show. Yeah. And 'cause I think, 'cause you were big on Twitter. And everyone did. And by the way, when I watch shows, I was like, let's see how I feel about 'em. 'Cause I wasn't going in hating, but part of me was hoping you'd bomb. So I could, so I could, yes, yes. So I could join in and be like, it's fucking industry plan. It's a shit. Like don't get me wrong. I was looking to hate you. But I would, but I at least was like, all right. I did this again, pathetically being like standup, being funny matters more than anything. It's a pathetic code to have. But it is my code. And there's nothing I can do about it. - Yeah. And I still kind of stand by that. - I do too. Then I also do think I'm like, there is something to being likeable. And there is something to just being a crowd pleaser, for sure. - But that's also part of it. - Yeah. - Like the fact that we're pretending that's not all part of it. - Right. - It's like, yeah, when I was coming up, I hated energetic, great performers. 'Cause I was a fat writer. It was just like, I had to get to my 15 jokes in order. - Right. - And then I realized like, no, don't hate. Like learn from them. Yeah, they're not good writers, fine. You're not a good performer. Fucking do both. Like the goal is to do, and also to find what's worthwhile in everybody's like style. 'Cause I think when you start standup, at least for me, you really just care about, you just want to be, you like the people who are exactly like you, or who you've modeled yourself around. And then the more you get into it, you're like, no, I like, you realize like, oh no, I'm actually tired of, I want to be the best version of me. So I actually want to destroy everyone who's like me. And then I want to make friends with the best versions of whoever they are. - Yes, yeah. And so I do think there's a shift that happens, it's, for me, it was like literally 12 years in the standup. But anyway, so the point is, you're very good at getting me to just fucking not follow up on a question by asking me something, feeding into my ego with good questions. - Well, also to feed into your ego, I feel like I love in the same way that you're like, I love watching people and being like, what is the thing that they're really great at? You are so like embodied on stage. - I appreciate that. Thank you. - Thank you. - And I feel like that's why you like, anytime you do crowd work, it's so lived in, and it's so funny. - I really appreciate that. - That's so impressive. - Yes, yes, yes, it's so impressive to me. - Thank you, man. That's my true goal. Like all I've tried to do with standup is feed. Like what I'm trying to get to is be the exact same guy on and off. That's my, that's been my like North Star with standup where it's like, I want there to be no difference. Like I want to be, and actually, you think what's gonna be hard is to be as comfortable, the hard part is to be as comfortable off stage. - On stage is easy. - Yeah, that's actually so true. - You know everything you're gonna say. - Yeah, yeah, yeah. And it's like kind of melding, gaining the, but I appreciate that because like, I do, I do think that's, that's what I'm chasing. That's what I'm, just like, 'cause I think at the end of the day, the super power of standup is authenticity. There's a thousand better mediums. There's that, every medium is more artistically worthwhile. But you can, the thing we can do that other people can do is legit, is truly open up, and in the room, in the moment, actually be a person you're connecting to, not create a piece of art that later gets interacted with, that you hoped some of that comes through. And it's still very hard for standup, 'cause it's very easy to be artificial, and to just only chase the laugh, or whatever. And it's hard to sometimes, and sometimes it goes the other way, where sometimes I think some of these specials are too, self-referential, whatever, or too about the performer, or not about giving a good performance. That can happen too, but I don't know. I do, I do think my main thing is always trying to be like, "Can I just be exactly the same guy?" - I feel like you do a great job. - Thank you, I appreciate that. But, and you did it again. In the middle of me telling you, you're doing a good job of fucking not making me ask you questions. Everyone's always like, "Stop talks too much." This episode's gonna be like a cool, jibuki fucking interviewed stop. I mean, you've talked like, you know, you're getting me, dude. But, yeah, I guess the question was just like, going back to that, like, yeah, what did you ever, what did you even see for yourself? 'Cause I do feel like shit started going well for you. So, fast that you never even had to think about, what do I do if this doesn't work? - No. - You know? - No, I was a comedy nerd from like eight years old. Like, I would watch the Comedy Central present, memorize jokes, and then go to school, and before school, I would, like, try to slip jokes in the conversation. - Yeah. - And see if people would laugh. I would like, like, I could watch Family Guy and so many other kids could not. So, I would, like, watch Family Guy, memorize the plot of Family Guy, and then be like, okay, so Meg is doing this. But then, Brian does this. And Brian is like, I was just incredible. - Recite Family Guy Plots. I was just like obsessed with it. - We had a South Park kid like that. - Really? - When we couldn't get to South Park, you know? He told me what happened in South Park. - Elvis actually was that for me, 'cause his fucking parents let him watch whatever the fuck. - Yeah, they didn't give a fuck. - His parents were like, we survived. We fucking fled. We were targets of the communist government in Albania. We don't care if he sees tits on TV. So, Elvis was kind of my entry point. My mom was very overprotective, but I could watch whatever in his house. - Yeah, I remember one time, I was in my mom's room with her, and I was just like watching South Park on her bed on the TV in there. And my landlord is just like, swings by saying, "Hi, he's chatting with her." She's like doing her-- - And you're like nine. - Yeah, I was like nine. - In the years old, like, young as fuck. She's just like doing her hair in the mirror and like chatting with him. And then he kept like looking over at me. He was like, you know, he really shouldn't be watching that. And my mom either like didn't understand or didn't care, didn't like pick up the nuance of like, his concern for a little child watching South Park. He said it a couple more times. As she like kept talking. And I was like, "Shut the fuck up, man." Let me do it over here. - I'm so sure. - Yeah, he watched so funny. [BLANK_AUDIO] And he also snitched on me because I was like just watching Titanic when he came back. And he just like rose his tits around. I was just like, and he like did tell my parents about that. I was like, "What the fuck?" What a fucking gnar. I know. That's, Elvis was big on Kill All Landlords. Elvis was a fucking, Elvis was a fucking malice before he knew it because the landlord tried to stop him from looking at tits. Yeah. Yeah, dude. That's fucking, so you just had that going and then, you know, that's, that's fun though. So, so I guess that kind of, that probably is probably happening to you now where you're like, "What the fuck do I even want my life to look like?" Yeah. I thought that like now would be the time where it'd be like, "Okay, maybe like by 30 I'll start getting like, you know, acting roles or maybe look at my first writing job or something." Right, right, right. Yeah. So, I don't know. Yeah. I'm just like, my goal was I want to be able to make a living doing comedy. Yeah, dude. And I did that. Same. I can make 70 grand a year working the shittiest clubs in America. That was all I ever hoped for. So it is like, yeah. Now you're like, now you have to ascribe meaning to your life where you're like, "Oh, success doesn't make you happy." Well, it does. It really does. Yeah. It wasn't until I learned about like the alt comedy Brooklyn scene in like the early 2010s when 2010s where I was like, "Oh, so I could for real do this." Yeah, yeah. If we're doing this like liberal arts. I was like, "How's it going?" I was like, "How's it going?" I was like, "I think you left immediately." I was like, "I think you left immediately." When I got to Broadway. Yeah, I was here for like a year and a half. I felt like I met you at that show. I felt like it's cool, actually. Yeah. And then by the time I even knew it, you were like in LA already. But you're here now, baby. Hey. We'll post the stuff. We're reminding you here. Go check them out. See it. Follow them on Instagram. All that stuff. Hit us with a call here, LD. Hey, soft. Hey, LDos. Hello, gorgeous guests. I have a situation here. I'm curious to get your opinion on. So recently, I was talking to this guy on Grindr. I'm talking about coming over to give him some head. Nice. He sends me a big pic. I am down. He won't send me a fake picture. He says he's down low and attached. So straight married, cheating on his wife. Sure. Obviously, trying to fuck up with me, but I'm still down. AKA, none of your fucking business. Getting the ultimate suck is digging. Shut the fuck up. So he does kind of address this point. Okay. Okay. Obviously, kind of fucked up with me, but I'm still down. I ended up getting a fake picture out of him. My moral justification for this is that he's got to explore his clear side. There's one thing he's not getting out of his marriage. He's going to be doing it with someone else that is right. Right. Also, I'm just really horny. Yeah. Let's make him just rest before it. So I go over there to his house. And we all know by the way, it's really hard to find people to blow anonymously. Right. That aren't married. Oh, Bob, you would have to do this two more times. The other thing too is people will say that and they're lying. They're chopped. And they're trying to do like, they're trying to paint a picture and a narrative so they could like boost what really is not that. Oh, that makes sense. I'm 100%. Oh, that's genius. You want to talk about genius marketing? Call back to when the cameras weren't rolling. They're like, why the fuck are they laughing at that? Fuck you guys. Sorry. But no, you want to talk about genius marketing. If you have a bad product, now you can say, if I show this guy my face, I might not get head. But if I tell him, sorry, I'm, you know, I'm figuring stuff out, you know, my wife, whatever. And he gets there and I'm ugly. He's already there. Right. If you're there, you're going to suck as they can be like, God, that's what's cool about gay guys. Well, the thing too is like, it's social proof. It's like, well, she thought he was hot enough to marry us. Like, I mean, I guess like he has some value, he has some societal value. That's really funny that these guys lie about that. Okay. Interesting. Is there more to this illness? She's acting super weird. I kind of want to leave right off the bat, honestly. He's kind of freaking out. He might have to leave off the back door if we hear the car come up the driveway. And his, his, his dog, his dog is super cute, I'm like, down this is where he lives with his wife and his dog. I don't leave though. I'm like, I already thought I would come here and do this. I'm already here. So we're getting into it. I'm sucking his dick. Mm hmm. Nice. I look over to the living room and I see a photo of him and his partner in a frame on the living room table and it's a man. What did I say? I know what the fuck like I do it, I do it, I do it, I do it. I do it. Hey, hey, come on. gay men can still cheat. Let's, let's not get so woke. They were homophobic. All right. No, I bet that possible for gay men to cheat. It's rare. This guy is the one gay guy in America in a non open marriage, but maybe that's what's got, maybe you can be a traditional gay scumbag. You know, it's not just for straight guys. That's really fucking funny. I really think that the husband was in the closet, like jerking up, watching the entire thing like. He's like, he's asking for my face. He's telling my to a girl. His husband's like, no, no, no, no, no, we don't want this. It's really just like the guy who works at Palantir and is afraid of his nude's getting out or something like that. I bet you there's so much, so much more of that going to start happening. People lying about being ice and Palantir and all this shit. I hope so anyway. Fuck all those people should, I won't say what should happen to people that work for ice and Palantir, but some should happen to them. Let's keep going, all this. He's gay married. He's not very married. I didn't really think that inspiration is awesome. Stick to my stomach. I don't leave even that. I still finish. Oh, my God. Stick to my stomach. I still finish what I'm doing. You miss a job. I leave feeling like a big piece of shit. Just feeling gross about myself. So I guess I'm wondering, am I stupid for thinking that there's a difference between like, there are moral gray area between the gay cheating and the straight cheating? This is awesome. Because I left there being like, why did I feel so much worse knowing that he was actually married to a man at the end of the day? Anyway, let me know what you think. This is an awesome philosophical quandary. Oh, my God. Okay, okay, okay. I have a couple angry. Do you have anything you want to jump in on? Okay. Um, this is so like psychological rich. It's so rich. So first of all, let's start with this. The whole, well, maybe he's finding himself. Let's throw that out the fucking window. That's a, you know, that's bullshit. So let's just, let's just take it from, you know, you, there's no, the difference here isn't going to be that you're maybe helping a closeted man figure. He's shit out. This, this was not a, this guy has a system. Even if this is a guy, he's on Grindr. Yeah. He's no, he's saying, he's saying, he's using gay link like hook up app link. This is not his first, maybe if you met a shy guy and like, you had a weird like kind of thing at the office and he showed some interest and you had like a kind of cute, you suck him, you suck, he's taking a bus so fast like this guy's gay. Maybe, maybe you could say, you know, if it comes up kind of naturally without meaning to sort of like romantic comedy style, maybe you have a lead to stand on there and he's never done that, you know, whatever. And he's really experimenting. Maybe that, but other than that, I don't think so. So now we're just discussing, why does it make you feel worse that you? Now, maybe is it, you know, is this, you, maybe are you a misogynist? Were you happy to make a woman feel bad, but didn't want to make another gay guy feel bad? That's one angle. That's one possible angle. Other than that, is it that you don't feel as special, that you don't feel like, I was like, well, he fucking, he gets sucked by guys all the time. He gets sucked by his husband. Right, right. Like when you're like, when you're the like, oh, you're the object of his uncontrollable sexual passion that he's risking his, and you know what, this is sort of like the other angle is you are destroying traditional values by sucking a married guy's dick. You are actually, you are actually harming the patriarchy and the like in a way where like tangibly score one for the gay guys. for the gay guys when you suck off a married straight guy, right? That maybe that's it, maybe you're like, what the fuck? We even get a point. We even get a point on straight people now. You're just, now you're just a side bitch. And, and you have, you're usual standards. Ooh, you're usual standards. You've let this guy, the fantasy of being the like, tantalizing, you know, hookup for him that goes against his, his whole way of life. You let him, it sounds like this guy usually needs a face pick, needs more info, needs whatever. You let go of all that for the promise of being, there's a, it's charged to you to be this object of desire that he can't help himself. Whereas like, if he's gay, he's just cheating. - Right. You're just the fuck, you're just someone who came over and sucked an anonymous guy's dick with, and by the way, who cares. But also, that to me, some of these ideas are percolating up for me. - Yes, yes. I think that, along with the gay guy cheating thing, it's like, that situation specifically, it's so unsexy because gay guy cheating is so cowardly. 'Cause it's like, it's like, you guys are probably already some version of open. And all you had to do was have one difficult conversation. And you don't even want to do that. Like, come on, like there's not that many stakes. Like, there's no kids, it's just a dog. Like, what are you really losing? - Totally. - I also need to know what this location is. Like, it depends on where in the country this is. - That's a great point. - Do we have an area code eldest? - And of course, the area code's mean nothing, I still have, but, you know, and we'll bleep this out. This is just for us. - Yes, we are in. - Oh, come on. - Whoa. - Ton of gay people over there. - Yeah, there is, but then I'm also thinking of the grid and it's like, how would he be able to get away with it? Like, if he's in the gay community at all. - Oh, true. - Like his friends might see or like, what was his profile? - Cowardly, that's so funny to call a cow. You're right. He's, there's no stakes here. - No. - Like, if his, if his wife comes in and you're sucking his dick, she's like, ah! She's breaking, she's like, how could you? His husband comes and he's like, Eric, are you serious, man? - Yeah. - You're getting your dicks. I thought, I was supposed to cheat today. That's my cheating day. He's like, I know, but I just really wanted my dicks. And you just got your wisdom teeth out and you know how to suck dick for another week. So, it's the difference between like an earth shattering. Gay guy's loving drama. It's the difference between true drama. And like, just gonna go into the DMV. - This is my other thing too, in terms of drama, is the guy feeling stupid because he was mad that it wasn't a woman. It's like, no, you're stupid because you couldn't tell that his guy was acting. And like, was like, wait, no, wait, listen for the car. Listen for the, it's like, that's a gay guy. - Like, you're falling for it. - And then, Ulster. - You do the life, he sends you a live picture of his dick. You press it and there's fucking Gloria as Stefan behind it. (laughing) He's just in a showtune. The live pick is just fucking as the fucking, the fucking, think of a fucking musical chorus line. - Is that one? (laughing) - He says that playing in the background. You're like, oh, this guy's straight as hell. - Yeah, no, there's like a fucking Eames chair and shit. (laughing) - In the living room, like, there's fucking, just like stainless steel countertops and shit. Like, everything's so cold. - Right, there's no, there's no wine, it's wine o'clock somewhere. (laughing) - There's no, there's no framed Taylor Swift albums on the wall, there's no fucking, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. That's a great point. So, yeah, what was this question? - Is he wrong for feeling this way? - Yeah, he's wondering if there's like, where are the moral implications of like, feeling more hurt that, you know, the guy is gay married and that's straight married. Well, then, you know what I think is, to his point, like, it's something real is that, if a guy was straight married, then it's like, well, this is all a ruse to begin with. And I'm experiencing the only real thing that he has, whereas if it's a gay marriage, then it's like, oh, but he's supposed to really be in love with this guy. - Yeah, yeah, yeah. - So I think there's that. - And it's like, it's like, yeah, you're now, the way we're saying before, cheating on a woman's, he's sucking a woman's husband's dick is scoring one for the gay guys. Now it's gay on gay crime, you know what I mean? Now, you're fucking, now you're breaking, now you're breaking the fucking, you know, you're breaking the heart of some, you know, I don't know who this guy's husband is. Some chastened buddhaj style guy, you know, whatever the fuck that guy is. - Milding with his war be parkers on him. - Yeah, yeah. - So sincere. - I know. - And the fact, and it also could be, now another element is, now what if he does go in there and it is what we were making fun of? It does have the fucking and the wine o'clock somewhere. It is, what if not only did you cheat with a guy who is gay, he's a corny. What if you sucked off a guy works for his gay, but he worked for Deloitte? (laughing) Because at least if you're cheating with a gay guy, it's like, all right, he's wearing a mesh tank top. - Right. - He's got, I'm looking at if there's a fun art installation. - Right. - We're listening to some fun music. - Yeah. - But you are listening to a fucking, you know what I mean? You're, your, your, the Michael Buble is playing. It's like, what if you, now maybe that's part of it. You are, again, you're down to do to suck a corny guy's dick if this is the real, the realness, but now you found somebody who, his reality, you are the most disposable thing in his reality and his reality is embarrassing to be a part of. That's another element. - And I think the other thing too is every gay man when he gets on an app, he is first and foremost a storyteller. (laughing) - Crafting an narrative. - Crafting an narrative. - Sure. - When he gets a picture, he's crafting a narrative about that person. It's like, that's all you have during a hookah. - Right. - 'Cause you don't know them. - Oh, right. It's like, what else are you going off of? Like it either has to purely be what you are looking at, body wise, or like some narrative that you have cooked up. - Interesting. - So like, they could make one wrong. - Wow, I really would have thought it's pure body. Most, for most people. - Yeah, yeah, yeah. - I was, again, salute the gay guys in their creativity. (laughing) For having to craft the narrative, where it's like, I would have said it was like nice. I'm gonna suck that guy's dick and not even think this deeply about it. But you know, this is nice. I'm learning, you know? - Yeah. - 'Cause when you try and put your, when as a straight guy, you try and conceive of what gay hookup culture is, it's so hard not to think like, that's so sick. 'Cause it's like, you're so hard not just to be like, 'cause what I'm imagining is just like, 100 hot girls wanna fuck me. And it's like, that is all. The idea that that's puffed, and I don't even have to, I just show them a picture of their my dick. - Yeah. - That's all I have to do. - Well, it is that for you because you're straight, you know? So you have that narrative. - Right. I guess that's very right. - Like, you could have pulled that guy so fucking easily. - Yeah, yeah, yeah. - I mean, he listens, so he maybe wants to. Like, that's true, that is true. - Like, I probably could get this guy to suck my dick. - Right. - No disrespect. So I know my colors are my friends who are the four of us. I don't mean to sexualize you that blatantly. Like, every straight guy is like, you have a six month window where you could probably fuck some of the hottest gay men in the world. Just off the strength of being straight. And a lot of gay men will try to pretend like that's not true, and that they have self-esteem higher than that. And you might be the select few that that's true for, but there are so many where that's not true. - Where it's like a feather in your cap. - Exactly. - To like, like, the way like, like what you'll hear, like, God, misogynist talk about lesbians, like they just haven't had the right dick yet. It's basically a gay guy being like, he has an at the right pussy. (all laughing) - Exactly. - And that'd be like, I'm gonna be the one. - So that might be, that's another element here. A fundamental element of this is that, yes, you've lost that, and now it's just some gay guy. - 'Cause now you just suck some gay guys. (all laughing) - Put Dastry up. - Yeah, yeah, yeah. - Just plain. - Wow, but you know what I will say about our call here? He really gave us a lot. There was a lot of meat on that book. - That was great. - That's a lot of meat. - That's a lot. - That's a great laundry salute to you, my friend. And hopefully you're sucking off either a cooler gay guys or just straight men who really are harming their wife by hooking up with you, man. - Or maybe he met the husband and they're equally hot and he loves hooking up with both of them. - That's fun. That would be great. - That's another huge element of gay culture. I'm very jealous of. - Yeah. - Imagine if they were just, and again, this doesn't work 'cause you're all the same guy, right, like whatever. It's, but I'm like, damn, what if I could just fucking, just do hot girls were dating and I could just fuck both and I could just be like, they're like, and then they date me together sometimes. - Like, gay guys, that seems fun. - I have a friend who did that and then the two women ended up getting married and then he was. - I would love that. Are you kidding me? I would do their vows. I would be crying harder than their mothers at their wedding if that happened. I would be touched. That would take a, you understand how, what a load off that would take for me. I would be like, I got to fuck them for a year and now they're like, now they pay their own bills. (laughing) I would be like, Martha and Julia. You and your love inspires me. (laughing) I would be bald. I think I would be, I didn't cry at my brother's wedding. I would cry at their wedding, dude. Without question, that would be the most emotional, if my, if two by girls were, got, let me be there like kind of off and again, off again, boyfriend for a year and then they got married, that would be the greatest honor of my life. That would be, I'm literally like hearing up thinking about that. - It could happen. - You know what, let's make it happen, man. I really do have the little boy fantasy of like, like pulling the Lou Williams and having two girlfriends. I just want, it's just so stupid, it should be like, but it just seems fun. It seems awesome. And again, gay guys figure that out. They'll just, you guys got all kinds of like different setups. - Yeah. There's the, the, the, the, the thrupple feels so uniquely gay though. Like, I don't think there is any other configuration that works. - No. - Of like people, yeah, yeah. - The thrupple is so beautiful. It's like a perpetual motion machine. It's like, the physics are so beautiful on a gay thrupple. Where it's like, it never sets clean energy. Someone's always getting fucked. Someone's always sucking someone. Someone's always mad. Someone's always getting heads. It's like, someone's always doing perfectly self-contained. - Yeah, yeah. - Yeah, someone's always paying bills. Like, there's one guy's always, has a, it's beautiful. Anyway, let another question for us here, Elni. Or is it, uh-oh. Now that's for you. I mean, Jibukin, where you are the twisted fitted. - Yeah. - That's awesome. - Shit. - What the fuck? - Oh, oh. - Oh, we got one for you. - Jibukin twist it. - Oh, that's it. (laughs) - It's time for the mother to come. - It's time for the mother fucking fucked up-ass question of the fucking week brought to you by our friends at Twisted T. - Oh, sorry. Let me, uh. (clears throat) Let me get some ice cold, delicious Twisted T right here. Ah, that's fucking good. What do we got, Elni? What's the call this week? - Hey, Sal, I'm honored guest. My family's insane, so I'd love some advice. This year, my dad blew up the family. He got a one-way ticket overseas. He married a 22-year-old in secret, and of course, immediately knocked her up. And I'm sure I can't wait to get to our Arab Muslims. And I want to be clear, like, we all saw it coming. - She said their Arab Muslims. - She said their Arab Muslims, yeah. - Yeah, I mean, again, this, this goes back to my bit about how Greeks are the most light-skinned Arabs. (laughs) Because this is the thing I could see. Half the dads I grew up with doing. - One hundred. - But go ahead, keep, and this villager girl shit. Go find yourself a 22-year-old villager. Like, this is that thinking right here. Keep going, Eldi. - And I want to be clear, like, we all saw it coming. He's been saying he wanted a second wife for, like, five years, and we all told him no chance at all. - Listen, that guy read the secret. - That guy knows the power of visualization. (laughs) - Hey, I want a second wife. He's telling his kids for five years. His current wife was in high school that when he first starts talking about this. Oh, my God, all right, keep going, Eldi. - Me, the younger than his own daughter part was a surprise. My siblings and I have been begging our parents to get divorced for 10 years. So my question is actually about my mom. She doesn't want to change anything about her quality of life. She's asking us kids. There's three of us, early career kids, who all live in expensive cities. And there's a kid in college right now. - Wait, what? - And she's asking us to basically thankful for her. - Nope. - That's what she's saying. - And I want Elha to make her understand that she is actually impossible. She basically wants to recreate her bougie, suburban housewife life without the husband who spent 30 years building it. She's not divorced on paper yet. They've not managed to both meet up in court. But she managed to get half the money from the house sale and like another 100K lump sum. She literally has more money than any of us buying from ever. - Yeah. - And this is insane. - But it's not enough to keep her standard of living. So yeah, how do I get my mom to stop trying to live her old life? Also, my dad is begging her to stay married and to come back. - What? - What the hell? - Bye. - What? Wait a second. What the fuck are you talking about? - Oh my, first of all, both your parents are fucking insane. - They're both keeping it rather twisted. They're keeping it very twisted. I will say this family is keeping it twisted. These parents are keeping it very twisted. The dad kept it twisted as hell. He kept it too twisted. Let's be on the record here. Twisted, he kept it a little too twisted. And the mom is keeping it too twisted too. - Yeah. - She's out of her fucking mind. And the dad being like, he wants you to come back? I guess he means he wants to just have two wives. Is what he means. - Yeah. - Okay. - She mentioned that earlier too. - That's part of what he said. He has always wanted more than one wife. - Okay. So listen. I don't know what the rules of twisted T.R. Whether I can tell your mom to suck it up and be wife number one. But it comes down to doing a little mathematics here. And being like, how are we going to get the life we want? The guys begging you to come back and you can kind of turn a blind eye. You know, it sounds like she didn't have to do much. It sounds like she just kind of had like a pampered life. Well, this guy now has a second wife. But I'm going to guess he wasn't not cheating the whole fucking time. - Right. - There's no way this guy was faithful. - All of a sudden. - Yeah. So this is just the big, this guy just went back home and got himself a 22 year old wife. And look, by the way, that is totally grounds for divorce. Obviously. - Yeah. - But your mom just needs to be okay with either living off the look. You're just going to have to downgrade here. - Yeah. - You made a fucking, you made a choice. You stood up for yourself. You're like, I'm not going to be, I'm not going to let this guy just marry another woman. - Right. - And then still stay married to me. Which by the way, legally, whether we've been talking about here, you know what I mean. But anyway. And but then also was very funny here is that she's like, how do I tell my mom to stop? And it's like, your mom's not the problem here. - I know. - I mean, they're both the problem. But it's like, she's lost her mind. - Yeah. - But they both seem insane. - Right. - Both your parents seem fucking crazy. - But I'm interested, like, is she even hurt? The mom? - I think so. - Because she's kind of just like, yeah, yeah, yeah. Okay, but how am I going to keep doing Pilates? - Yeah, yeah, exactly who is paying for my Pilates? - It's like, we're still 3K short of mom. If everybody could just put the, if you each can put 1K on auto pay on Zell, that would really help me out. Let's do it the first of the month. And then also she's just got to get realistic. - Yeah. - It's capitalism. You can have pride in money. - That's true. That's exactly it. And we clearly chose ours. We don't have, we decided which one we want. (laughing) And don't forget to keep it fucking twisted folks. (laughing) - Get the family together. - Get a family together of twisted folks. - Get an ice cold twisted tea. Get an ice cold twisted tea. That's what you need to do. Get the family together on a nice hot day. Crack open a game day pack of twisted tea. 'Cause that actually has all the different flavors. And you'll have raspberry. You'll have peach. Somebody wants half and half. And over 12 twisted teas, I think your family will come to a conclusion realize what's really important here. - Yeah. - And then create a thrupple. Is this the first non gay thrupple that works? (laughing) But yes, that's such a good point of like, your mom chose pride and good for her. You know what fucking good? Choose money instead and fucking stay married. Or, you know, not to get crashed about the whole thing. Like, she should, you know, does she get remarried? Does somebody else fill in here? - Right. - Like, is there somebody, is there a lesser, is there a less well off? - Right. Like fucking car salesman? (laughing) Does she get endowless that she can fucking end up with? - I feel like if she puts up too much of a fight, you could create a contract where it's like, will bank rule you if you can get remarried in like six months? - Oh, I love that. - You know. - So like, we'll keep you looking like a barbie. - We'll keep you looking like a barbie. - Yeah, yeah. - Exactly. - But you gotta show us something. - Yes. - 'Cause I bet she did something like that when you were applying to school. - I bet. - I bet they had those rules for you. - Did your mom ever body shame you? Did she ever call you too fat? - Wow. - You should fucking pinch her, fucking pinch her around the fucking waist. Like, is that we're gonna second husband? (laughing) You think this is how we're staying in fucking hot yoga mom, really? (laughing) You can get her back now. (laughing) Exactly. - Body shame your mother. - Yes, that every immigrant kid needs to hear that. By the time you turn 30, you need to start flipping their tactics back on them. Whatever they did to you, do it to them. It doesn't matter what the scenario is. Like, do you have to? - Yeah, yeah, yeah. Okay, well, yeah, that's our advice. And really, at the end of the day, get the whole family together and crack open an ice cold twisted tea. And remember, folks, keep it twisted. Whoa what the hell oh That was crazy And that was the mother fucking ass question of the fucking week brought to you by twisted T What else we got little LD Hello, so hello caller you're the caller question so I'm getting older. I'm like 44 my wife's getting older You know she has like some she has a camera was called her like fucking arm her's all the time for no reason Okay, time out Can't remember what it's called your wife is a chronic Health condition, that's awesome. All right. All right. That's fucking hilarious couldn't bother to fucking memorize the name Camera was called her like fucking arm her's all the time for no reason and she has headaches And um, she's really the sex she reads all these sex books like Smut unlike the gay hockey ones, but they're a little more like violent and I'm naturally a dumb in the bedroom I'm like a big dude. Okay, but we can't do that anymore because it hurts her like can't fucking pull her hair I can't choke her. There's no dorm sex happening anymore. Oh, dude. We're aging out of that shit No, you're like what what should we switch it up to like what's a more like soft sex thing? We could do you know like This is a lack of imagination. Yeah, I don't fucking know. That's why I'm calling you. What do I do as a retired Dom you're You need you're clearly not a crew you're clearly not a curious person You don't even know what your wife's chronic illness is called right? To you being a Dom is literally hair pulling choking and like slapping and maybe spitting right? You're not aging out of it is like it's like how my look Michael Jordan was a high He played he used to play shooting guard. He gets a little older. He moves to the three He's not a he's not as explosive, right? But he's more of a technical player and that's when you age out of things you have to learn Technique more bang for your buck to me this feels like again a lack of imagination read some of those books Yeah, see what see what it is that's getting her juice up a lot of times Talking crazy will do everything you need like more than enough I have I think really like when you when you think about what you're gonna say and like Describe Wild shit that you want to do to her threaten that kind of shit sexually get some fucking also toys, right? Because you're thinking of it as like pure physical violence as being dominant But it's like being in control is really what it's about. Yeah, so if you're fully in control You're gonna have to play a couple more mind games. Maybe you get into fucking ropes and shit and tying her up Playing with fucking toys, right? If you can't do if physical pain and taking her to the limit was one it was once your thing Maybe you have to fucking you know hit her with a fucking One of those fucking jackhammered and fucking vibrators where it's like You know, I mean like intense pleasure one way or the other or like withholding pleasure with holding huge big Yeah, people love that like teasing doing the Southern shit you right now It's like the old adage of like if you have a if you have a hammer every problem starts to look like a nail Mm-hmm. Is what they say where it's like yeah, you're gonna try and smash it if you're if all you have is a hammer You need some fucking other tools in your fucking toolkit You're you need to become a finna now is time for you you can't don't get any more learn how to finger roll You know what I'm saying like learn learn how to be a finnest player because being You don't and I'm not I'm not a BDSM person, but I think it like you know It's like whatever whatever I'm into in the bedroom It's like I'm not one of these motherfuckers. There's like reading about this shit or like you know But I do think my friends who are into it I think they would have a very derisive view of you Because you really aren't you just see it as like your four semi-violent sex moves or what make you a dumb whereas for them It's really more mostly mental is is is you know for the friends of mine who are like super into that Shit, so you know, I feel like so much behind the dumb stuff is like behind all of the violence is like this person wants me so bad That's right. They're like they'll do whatever I say exactly that is fucking awesome. Yeah, that is a great feeling to and if she has that You should be why aren't you having a great time right? That's the thing look at this with fresh eyes Mm-hmm. You have this woman who loves you and will do whatever you want sexually if you if you just kind of meet her You know sort of like I know I hope somebody who was like into fat guys Mm-hmm. I was just she was so just into my body in a way that was like I felt like the man and then when you hook up, you know, you'll hook up with random people It's like for whatever reason you just represent the right thing at the right time for there and they're so turned on And it's like that is the fun and and they tend to be the ones that are like the most Submissive they want I think when you I've said this before but it's like when you are kind of a big fat piece of shit Hot women want you to just fucking toss them around and shit and when you fun and and that naturally was never I was never like Naturally into like the violent aspect But it was what you just said that that unlocked the free words like oh, this is a person that like Once you want you so bad. They'll do whatever the fuck you say and it's like that doesn't just have to be choking and spitting That could be a bunch of shit, you know, so get a little more creative open your bag up, bro Yeah, and also she's so committed. She's like playing with the torn ACL like Right. She is really yeah, she's a trooper and maybe you can't do all the same stuff But you can get you just have you it's just from knowing you this amount which is hearing a voicemail I know you're an incurious person. I know it in my bones And just open up your horizons a little bit dude. That's all I'm saying And maybe you're just nervous. That's possible But I do think in general and and look I've I've had that problem to where I don't think about the outside world And that's what I'm the least happier. I'm not I don't ask follow up questions But I'm so in my own shit. You're so focused on how you used to fuck and what you've lost that you're not looking at what you could gain by this new These new setups some of my favorite like Restrictions make some of the best art, right? It's like and now you now you get to be fucking Picasso dude get them now Let now we find out if you're actually good at fucking before Before you were just using your fucking you were a brute force, you know Now do you have technique? Do you know how to fucking make a woman bust with the in the sexual theater of the mind? You know and a couple fucking dildos and shit Whatever the fuck you know you figure some those beads you control that seems kind of fun. That seems classic just being like And a girl gets horny that seems fun So yeah, there you go, buddy. Give us what else we got LD Hey, so I be and fell this and whatever cool guest you got on there Listen, I'm calling Because I So my situation is this I'm a 40 year old dad of three I'm a good dad. I have my shit together. I You know still married and so with mom. Okay, and Yeah, everything's good on the home front the more positive ones that he racks up the more I'm scared about what the turn is gonna be but anyway. Let's let's not get ahead of ourselves Doing really well in my job Kids are happy. I feel like I'm knocking it out of the park is a dead That said I'm hitting like mad dabs throughout the day Waking up we need a respect driving. We really need a respect driving I'm hitting like mad dabs throughout the day Waking up I'm also taking about a handful of stems 80 HD meds. I somehow have lucked out into getting a prescription for very easy to get This is teleproductive doing all the the stuff Playing music in my free time Everything's good. I'm loving it, but it feels wrong Let me know what you think am I in secret high functioning drug addict do I have to stop Do I need to get my priorities in order you are talking to a high functioning drug addict right now? I'm so addicted to weed right now. It's crazy. I Take 100 milligrams every night. I tried tonight was the first night. I couldn't I was like let me just not do this I could not sleep dude. I straight up. I slept like four two nights this week. I was like I'm not gonna do it And I it's not like I didn't I just I was like I'm just gonna smoke weed. Yeah, I didn't do it I need to be so blotto out of my fucking mind like edible Like how are you taking this like I have so there's like I literally have done the research to find the way to get the most There's like a brand of that because in you I know the laws in New York every package can't be over a hundred milligrams Okay, so other in other places you might get like Packages that are 500 milligrams and they're like 50 or 100 milligram like gum 50 gummies usually. Yeah, we're 20 What I'd really love is 25 grams so that could do 75 hmm in the stating In New York, the max is 100 milligrams, and so most places do either 5 milligram, little guys, or 10 milligrams, and there's one company that does these little square chocolates that are 100 milligrams, and I just fucking popped one of those fuckers, and I am so fucked up. It's awesome. And I sleep so good. I also fucked my back up, so I'm trying to stay off other more harmful pills. And so I literally know the last two, last three months, I've become a high-functioning drug addict, and there are negatives, like, yeah, I need a little, I need an hour to really get going in the morning, because I'm still pretty fucked up, you know, every morning, but I kind of like it, because I take a fucking walk, you know what I mean, I fucking meditate sometimes, but I go on a kind of stone walk, I drink coffee, and then within an hour, I'm kind of good to go. That doesn't sound bad to me. The problem is, I've been like, I have to stop this, and right now I just can't, I'm shooting my spare, you know, I just have too much shit to try and kick weed. And that would be my, so my question for this guy is like, how, what are you saying doesn't sound that bad? I would, the stimulants, like a literal handful, like how many milligrams are we talking? That's what I would say is like, like, my problem, like, I know when she gets less busy for me, I'm going to, at the minimum, like, go off weed for six months, because I can, I don't know how my tolerance got here this fast, because I truly do, I didn't smoke weed for like, like, before the tour was, I even smoking weed eldest, I don't think so. Just like occasionally, like, I think you're going okay, before the tour, once a month I'd smoke weed, yeah, I really wasn't smoking weed. The tour, touring and fucking my backup, I was just like, if I don't smoke weed, I'm like, well, it's the same thing with touring, like, I have to get, like, hydroxazine. It's like, what, like, Zertek used to be before they took the drowsiness out of it, otherwise I can't go to sleep. Because you're just like fucking switching time zones so much. Exactly. You're like drinking red wool before a show, like, yeah, I know the fucking, the smallest violin for fucking comedians, but it is really hard. When you have just done a show, and your adrenaline is through the fucking roof, and you had to, yeah, if the night's where it's like, sometimes you have a fucking coffee to get in the right zone, or you need a dreadful, you need whatever, it's like, you're not going to go to bed unless you have drugs, you're straight up not going to for until naturally, I would probably go to bed at like 6 a.m., if it was the case, and a lot of the time you're flying out the next morning. Yeah. It's so, it sucks. So, I know that, but right now, my life is like a fucking Jenga tower, and if I took out the weed block, it's crumbling, right? That's what I would say is like, where are you in your life? Because I know I'm going to, when there's less, when it's less precarious, I'm going to slowly take that weed block out and try and rebuild. For him, he has kids, right? How old are your kids? If you have young kids, I would say, I'd be scared. The other thing is like, he didn't mention, I was really waiting for the, I want to chew on my wife thing to drop because that's the most calls we get, we're the guys, we're the guys. Well, you know what, guys they are. He's going up with that Adderall, then he might be getting his digsuck by guys on Grindr. Honestly. Like, this limp digsuck. Yeah, it's like, at a certain milligram amount you are gay. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Watch out. Yeah, yeah. So I think my question to you is, A, how old are your kids? Are you putting them in danger? Are there times where you're so fucked up that if, because my thing with parenting is like, I'm not saying someone as kids cannot, can never get fucked up. Obviously, that's, you know, crazy. But I do think if some, if you have young kids, you have to think of yourself as a, as on call. Yeah. Like, if an emergency happens, do you want to be too stone to take your kid to the hospital? Yeah. That's, that's number one. Now, if you pass that test, if it's like, either you never get that fucked up when they're around or you just ultimately know, look, my wife's going to take care of this. That's the other, that's another thing that we don't know is like, is he just a type B, and this is wife run everything? And she's like, yeah, yeah, get in the garage, play music, I'll fucking, every time you try and help you fuck something up. Yeah. So just fucking take devs and play fucking, play guitar, you know, play Wonder One on the garage while I raise our children. If that's the case, keep doing what you're doing. But I guess my thing is like, yeah, from a true health standpoint, think about what's your percent, what are your milligrams? You're probably fine, you're probably fine for a while if we're being honest, but do you want to live your life addicted to him to be doing a safe speedball every day? You're talking about amphetamines and fucking, like amphetamines and, and weed, you're getting pretty close to be, to doing fucking heroin and cocaine, you know what I mean? You kind of, when you're talking about dabs at that level, because he's not talking about I smoke, I smoke a joint or I take five milligrams. No, right, I forgot it's a dad. He's saying, I'm taking dabs throughout the day and I'm taking a handful of adderals. Yeah. When you're doing that, weed, they have, weed has gotten to the point where when it's potent, it's as fucked up as any drug, right? And you're, so it's like, that's my thing is like, look, I think you're probably, if we're going to be realistic, you seem to be fine, but you need to think about this the way you, you would think about the way you fucking eat the way I would say somebody who goes and drinks fucking 10 beers, like somebody who drinks four beers every day. It's like, is that the worst thing in the world? No, but long term is just how you want, you know, think about it like that. That's how I would say, because it doesn't seem like he's putting his kids at danger, doesn't seem like he's fucking his life up. It just seems like he morally feels bad for doing what he perceives as wrong behavior. But then also it kind of logistically doesn't make sense because he started doing a bunch of dabs and he probably was like, damn, my attention span is just fried. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I should probably get on adderals. And now he's like doing the adderals to offset the dabs and it's like, you might just not need either of those. Maybe not. Maybe, but maybe he needs both, I mean, I do feel like the limitless pill if it's real is like five milligrams of adderal cold brew, the gentlest edible of all time, a dick pill and like allergy medicine. If you put all that together, but like the non drowsies, if you put all that, I think that's what the limitless, like when I'm on adderals and smoking weed, I do feel incredible. That is true. It's one of the fucking best food in the world. That is true. And you completely understand why so many people die of speedball. You're like, I bet this feels so good. I bet to an heroin and an upper feels so fucking good. And I'm never going to find out because that will kill me. Like I just know if I ever do heroin, I'm so distressed because I even pill, I would dabble them pills for a while. But if I felt that real shit, anyway, so I'm doing it at some point though, like when I'm like close to death, I'm ripping it. As an old guy, I'm doing it. I got to get, if I lived to 70, I'll reward myself with heroin. Let's do that. Let's put that on the board, eldest. That's the Stavis world. That's a goal for us. Get to 70, you get to do heroin. But so that's, I would purely look at it as a health thing because that's kind of how I'm looking at the weed thing where I'm like, there's no way in just thing, a hundred milligrams a day is good for you long term. There's just no way that's true. The same way there's no way, eight dabs and 25 extended, and 25 extended release whatever, and like two extended release that are all a day is good for you. You know that. You ultimately know that, at least you're not destroying your life with it. So you think like maybe I could do this forever. It's like no, you shouldn't just because it's unhealthy for you. Good for you that you're not destroying your life. That's good. Maybe you're the kind of guy who, if it got that bad, you'd stop. But maybe on some level, you're like, as soon as it starts fucking my life up, I'll chill. And it just hasn't happened. So you're like, do I just get as fucked up as possible? It's like no, dude, because the end of this is ultimately something really fucking dark. Because tolerance is keep going up. What you need to get that juice keeps going up. I'm living it in a much more wholesome way than you somehow. So I know how it goes. So that's why I would say, pick a time in your life where you have some downtime and try and kick this. And then if you want to get back to maybe smoking a joint, you know what I mean? Smoking a joint and taking the amount of Adderall, you're prescribed. Okay, try that. But you do need a reset minimum, not sustainable and your heart. Your heart, brother, for sure, for sure, with all those Adderall. That's not. Did he say it was in good health? What did he say? Because he mentioned all the other stuff he's good at. He didn't specify, but I'd be really scared doing good. That's the thing, dude. I thought I was doing good. I mean, again, all this is projection, but I went through something this year where I was like, you know, I've been fat as fuck my whole life and I've been addicted to multiple substances, a different part of my life. And I always was waiting for the doctor's visit where it would force me to get my life together. And I was always like, my blood works good. What's going on? And then I fucked my back up because I've been like, and I realized, oh, I was always waiting for like diabetes or heart stuff. And it's like, you didn't even consider that I could fuck up literally like my spine by being right. Right. And it's like, dude, you might You're taking care of all the stuff that you're thinking about right now, but there's stuff that is, these drugs are fucking your life up in ways you're not conceived of. You haven't conceived of yet. And you think you're doing everything with your kids, but like, what do your kids think of you? Let's say they're safe. I never see my dad because he's playing math rock on Adderall. He's doing court progressions on fucking 40 milligrams of Adderall. So I don't ever get to, he missed my fucking, he missed my game. He missed my fucking soccer game because he was trying to do, he was trying to copy bucket heads, get tar solo or whatever the fuck like. Also, that combo is low key like to get to Furnia from scratch. It really is. The paranoia that you might get if that goes like a little wrong. I think about how, because I was, I made a ADHD, whatever, and I was prescribed Adderall for a while. And I think about what, like how, how irritable I would get sometimes when I didn't eat enough or like, because it stops you from eating. So you don't realize you're hungry and if you, if you fucking abuse and, and that means you get very irritable, you get re, you become a bad mood. And when you combine that with fucking the parent, like I still, even as someone addicted to huge quantities of marijuana, I will freak out every night. I have a, like about a 20 minutes, like I'm going to fuck everything up. I'm about to fucking bomb the special. I'm going to fuck the movie up. I'm a piece of shit. I, but you just power through that part and right after that 30 rockets, even more awesome. So as soon as you power through that little 20 minutes of like, you're a fucking fraud. You're going to fuck it, but, but if I'm combining that with fucking Adderall abuses, yeah. So anyway, you, you know, yeah, we just said everything you actually've known this whole time, but you didn't need to hear it. So that's it, little buddy. Oh, because you got something fun for us to go out on here. Where's the guy with a medical issue that we did help? Okay. Okay. First of all, I don't have a question to be honest with you, but I have a funny story. It's crazy. I would appreciate a few months ago, I was in a bike accident and I flew off my bike over the front handlebars, go on like 20 miles an hour. Jesus. And I was wearing a helmet, but I still cracked my pavement hard enough to get a concussion. Okay. Yeah. What I realized I had a concussion with a doctor, they told me that, you know, first I have to be in a dark room with no stimulation, mental stimulation of any kind. But then they said I should start slowly introducing more stimulating things to get my brain used to like sensory input. But what I found is that even like, thinking about things too hard would trigger like my symptoms. So like, I tried to go back to work, I'm a program for my job for computer and I started trying to do that again and I would like be looking at the code and that everything would go blurry and like the lights would get really sharp and I would have to lay down and it would be too much. Jesus Christ. And I found that the only thing that I could do that was the least mental stimulation of any activity was just to listen to your podcast. Do you have severe brain damage? Don't worry. Does it hurt you to think too hard to have to hold this holding images in your head, challenge you too much mentally. Don't worry, stop these world is here for you. We're gentle enough that even someone who, if they imagine, if they try and remember their grandpa's name, get a migraine, we won't challenge them at all, dude, we will just feed them right with they will comfort pure comfort food. That's awesome. Do you have more? And there's a period of like five days where I literally could only just lay down in the couch with my eyes closed and just listen to that these worlds. I probably listen to like, find this man and gift him a patreon subscription, eldest. That one. It was. Get him the get him Albanian supremacy. The $10 tier where you get to see eldest is my camera only. We charge more to get access to eldest's camera for the whole world. You can see what I'm doing. My facial expression. An hour and 40 minutes of eldest has been like, you can see how cross-eyed he is with that cam too, by the way. That's so fucking funny. So how's he doing that? Did he, is that it? Is that the end of the call? That was it. Great delivery. That's beautiful. Yeah, that actually was really good. That was really good. It's so fucking funny and that does, you know what, that makes me feel good, man. The fact that we're helping the people with the TBI community. That's so fucking funny, dude. And by the way, I do take that as a compliment. I take it as we're, you know, we're just, you're here with your friend. You're with an old pal. We make you feel comfortable here. What's the most fucked up injury you've ever had? Oh, most fucked up injury, hernia, that's probably the worst. I remember you posted about that and I was like, how the fuck did this guy get a hernia? Was it working out? No. Well, yes and no. I got so strong that I thought that I could do anything. So it was working out, but I tried moving a mattress up some stairs by myself because you were jacked and it's like, I could do it, but like, I just moved a little bit in the wrong direction. I just felt something pop. And I was like, what was that? How fucking long did that take? Jesus. Do you have to get surgery? Yeah, I have to get like a mesh put in. I couldn't do any lifting whatsoever for like maybe a month and then like no real working out for like six months. Dude, yeah, that's brilliant. It was terrible. Jesus, but at least, I mean, because I, I'm literally doing that with my, I was the most actually on my shit that I've been in years. That's how it happens. Always how it happens. And I haven't been able to, I haven't been able to like re, it's been, you know, it happened in January and I'm trying to get back to fucking, I want, it's hilarious that the moment I want to lift in my life, the first time in my life, the gym is like a positive to me. It will kill me if I try doing it. But thank God it fucking, the hernia, they just fucking, and you're good. It's not like a chronic thing or no, like sometimes I get like nerve pain a little bit. And then if I start getting really like jacked in the abdomen, I can feel it moving or like repositioning kind of like when the muscle like, dude, it's so alien feeling like there's just like that thing there. So does it stop you from getting like, can you, can you work out regularly now? Yeah. No, I can't. It's like completely healed. If you get, can you get, fuck, could you go Cumeil mode and if you wanted and it would it hurt? What do you mean? Like get jacked as fuck. Cumeil. Because my brother does it, like it's in the jeans somewhere, fuck dude. And I like, I've seen him do it and I'm like, I could do you have that desire? You know, do you want to be jacked as fuck? I did it for like a little bit and it's fun, but then like you can't really dress like nothing fit me right. I just always felt like I should just be naked right now because no one's really getting the effects. Right. Like you guys don't get it. Right, right, right. This actually isn't selling it. That's really interesting to close. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. I don't know. It's interesting too, from like again, just sort of the way, oh fuck, just sort of like showing our viewership, different stuff about gay people, our former in sales, it's like immediately I would have thought like, but wait, gay guys work out and they like close. And it never, never at once did I think like, whoa, that's two mutually exclusive things. Yeah. Because if you're jacked, you're right. Nothing. Nothing's for you. It's your jacked, but also it's like if someone's two jacked, they actually can never look great in and close. Like soup, we're talking about like bodybuilders look fucking crazy. 100%. And even in like suits, like Jack guys started wearing the like fucking tight ass suits. I've been in a suit with the right tailoring, but then you got to be a guy wears a fucking suit all the time. Right. No, I don't know. It's like you should be fighting or fucking someone right now. That is true. That jacked, if you don't have like physical, if you're not like violent, doing some kind of violence, whether that's sports or like, you know, sexual violence, but consensually. Would you ever, do you have the desire to get like super, not, I mean, obviously I have the desire to just fucking get huge arms, like just get bounce or fizzy, get like a shot put build. Exactly. I see that for you. And the thing is like, I do want, I'm gonna take time to fix my, the back I also just kind of needed because you always say, I'm gonna take time and actually fix myself, right? Fix my problems. This made it so that I had to be, I literally was like, I turned down a bunch of jobs because I was like, I have to after, I've agreed to do certain things. And like, you know, this movie, I was really like to get cast in this movie with Appetale and who, dude, you know, when I'm, you want to talk about being, I literally like listen to the fucking DVD commentary, something like it's crazy. If it wasn't Judd Appetale and it wasn't and I am a bit, I'm a fucking Powell guy, dude. I saw that motherfucker in Top Gun and I walked out of there being like, that's the fucking guy. Nope. I respect the Miles Teller, great actor, but I was like, fuck, give me more of this fucking guy. He was so good at being like, Ice Man 2.0 and he just had that like, kinda like dickhead. I'm so excited to fucking do this movie 'cause his presence on screen is so fun and like, he just has such a specific energy. And if it wasn't like legit, a movie star and the fucking director I grew up like, I probably would go, 'cause I'm like trying to find doctors and it's like, I have a bunch of shit I wanna do. So I do think the, if I don't do it now, if you don't see me like a year with a fixed back, getting in good shape, it's just never gonna happen. I'm getting to that point where it's like, I'm 37. - Have you ever had to do physical therapy before? - I have, I have, yeah. I'm gonna have to do a bunch of PT. I fucked my shoulder up. My hope is once I'm done with the movies to just like, I'm really gonna go into PT seriously and I just wanna be able to work out my upper body again, at least a little bit 'cause the irony now is like, my legs were always the strongest thing and I just can't really fuck with them right now 'cause of my back. - Oh yeah. - And I think I probably could, I always was like, I'm fat as shit, it doesn't make sense to like, do like arm workouts for, I need to like, just get healthier. But I think there will be a moment where while I'm fixing my back, I really can't do anything but purely arm stuff. So who knows, man, maybe I spend the year just getting fucking, there you go. And by the way, I'll do everything. Heptides, fucking stem cells, fucking, take my blood out, fucking circulated, put it in. Like, that's the other thing is like, I don't really spend money on much. I've been very lucky in my life and I just wanna spend money on making my body not feel like, shit, you know, like that's the thing. - What's your peptide stack? Do you have nothing to go with anything? - I have nothing yet, but I'm getting in the zone. - Yeah. - I'm gonna get in the mix for sure 'cause like, the JLP ones have helped me an incredible amount because like, there have been moments, I've been on them a little under a year or about a year. And even when I don't, you know, I haven't been losing weight a ton, like fat. Like when I started, I was losing weight so fast 'cause I had nothing to do and I was so focused. But now there have been moments where I've been so stressed that if I wasn't on them, I would be going fuck. Or I have a crazy night and then they fucking, they let you know you fucked up. - How so? - How it hurts? - It kind of is like a, they just kind of like a shock collar thing where it's like, you know what I mean? You have too much dessert. You hit the collar the next day on the toilet. - Oh yeah. - Oh yeah. - You hit the fucking shock fence. So I'm like, these medicines have clearly helped me. There's probably other medicines that can help. And so I'm on the hunt for like rich guy solutions to my back. So we might, maybe Stavie gets ripped, season fucking three or what are we up to? Four or five? - There's like, the peptides are tearing through the gay guy community. - And it seems like-- - And I'm really scoping them out. - Yeah. - I like, there's a few test dummies that I have. - Oh, put it in, we gotta send a couple dogs to space. (laughing) Before we get, before me and you get in the shuttle. (laughing) Let's make sure they can fucking come in and out. - Exactly, exactly, gotta set some sputniks. - No, I definitely see that for sure. It's like, it seems like a lot. It's like tech gay guys and then like secret Hollywood. People that don't want to admit. Like peptides seem to be like the way people can just do something and be like, well, it's not the things you've heard of. - Well, the gateway for me, and I think for a lot of people, Accutane. - Is that a peptide technique? - No, just like-- - Oh, just like a weird-- - It's just vitamin A. - Oh, really? - But then some of these peptides are just like, copper that you're shooting into your ass. (laughing) - I know, that's why I wanna give it a little second. - Right. - I was like that with the GLP ones. I gave it like, quite a, I got started last year. I feel like the first round of Ozempic was like, maybe what, four years ago probably? - Oh, yeah. - I think it probably was something like that. I feel like it was like a right out of the pandemic type thing, even probably during which some, 'cause so many people had all this massive pandemic weight loss, and it was right with the GLP ones started. - Which is so kind of what the fuck. - Yeah. - But yeah, dude, I'm excited to fuck. I do, I'm obviously never gonna be in great shape, but I wanna get strong as fuck. Just from a, at this point, literally from a survival standpoint, but I also just think like the ultimate, I've just always been on the quest to perfect what my strengths are. And I think the physical attractiveness for me, I'm not some fat guy that thinks he wants to get skinny. That's crazy, right? That's also not who I am, not a little guy. And so I'm, and it's also like, I'm five seven. If I lost a hundred fucking 20 pounds at five seven, I'd be a weird little guy with loose skin. That's not who I wanna be. - I don't really big head. - Humongous head. I really, like, do fat people just grow larger heads or do, I feel like so many fat people who lose weight happen to have huge heads. Is there some kind of thing does your head grow because you're fat? - See, I, - Chicken or the egg, I'd love to know. - Like, I have a gigantic head. Sometimes I see myself on camera and I'm like, holy shit. - But we just do this to it. - Lollipopping, yeah, yeah, yeah. - Interesting. - But when I, I had like, I think in my heaviest, I was like 200 and like, I looked so normal. (laughing) I was like, whoa, like everything is proportional. - Yeah, yeah, yeah. - Like, it's crazy. - Her size had to you already, you know? - Jesus Christ, like, I couldn't fit that, I don't think. - We have, I have a humongous head. Try this, dude. - See, you're on the last, last two. - Last, last two. - Yeah, yeah. - There. - Yeah. - Similar, yeah. - Yeah, the similar size, yeah, yeah. - But that's, I just love this happy. I hate going, yes, yes, I'm too fat for hats. We've discussed it. (laughing) We've discussed it. I hate going on the last one. But we went to fucking, where'd we just go? And they'll walkie and bought like beer hats. And let me just say, they got 'em for the ample head. (laughing) When you buy beer merch, they are the right, they're for fat ass head motherfuckers. But, yeah, hell yeah, dude. No, I'm gonna, I definitely have the desire to just kind of fuck it. I love, I have a, I love at 80s action movies so much and I have a script that I like, you know, I have like a project that I love working on that's like, that is in that world. And it would make sense for me for this thing to just get, not, obviously, I'm never gonna be as jacked as fucking, but that would make sense. If I get somebody to make this and then it's like, all right, well, I need a year to get jacked. Like, I always dream of figuring out a way to like, you know, tie it into my life so that I don't have to completely set the groundwork now where like get healthy and then be like, hey, if you like this, I gotta fucking get, I gotta get on some fucking peptides and get fucking jacked as hell. - Right. Let's see. Stay tuned, stop and get strip season four or five. Again, I don't remember which one it is, but we're, and, sorry folks, we were gonna do it, but I fucked my back up so I couldn't work out at all. But we're gonna get, once I'm done shooting this movie, we're gonna, we're gonna get stop and get stripped going again. Anyway, that was a fun last call. We're glad we could help the brain damage, our brain damage fan and, you know, that's nice. It's nice that one of our fans has to have accidents to get brain injury for a change. Usually that's just kind of how they were born. They were kind of missing a chunk of one lobe or another. So, respect to you guys. Jabuki, this was great, man. - Thank you very much. - Anytime you wanna come back, we'd love to have you. - Thank you. - Find Jabuki, he's on the road right now. Follow him online, he's hilarious, in every medium. And we will talk to you guys next time. Bye-bye. (upbeat music) (upbeat music)