164 - Our Most Spontaneous Podcast

This is an I Heart Podcast. Guaranteed Human. Another podcast from some SNL late night comedy guy, not quite, on humor me with Robert Smigel and friends. Me and hilarious guests from Bob Odenkirk to David Letterman helped make you funnier. This week my guest, SNL's Mikey Day and head writer, Streeters Side L, helped an Aka Pella band with their between songs banter. Where does your group perform? We do some retirement homes. Those people are starving for banter. Listen to humor me with Robert Smigel and friends on the I Heart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. My mother-in-law spent years sabotaging our relationship until Karma made her pay for it. Alright, so if you'd tell me about how we started this story. She moved in for two weeks, lasted five days, left a mess, and then pressed her ear against their bedroom door and burst in screaming. When kicked out to a hotel, she called her SNL's workplace, pretending his partner had been rushed to the hospital by ambulance. She faked a medical emergency. And spoiler, that was just the beginning. To find out how it ends, listen to the Ok Storytime podcast on the I Heart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. A win is a win. A win is a win. I don't care what you'll say. Yep, that's me. Clifford Taylor IV. You might have seen the skits, my basketball and college football journey, or my career in sports media. Well now, I'm bringing all of that excitement to my brand new podcast, The Clifford Show. This is a place for raw, unfills or conversations with athletes, creators, and voices that not only deserve to be heard, but celebrated. So let's get to it. Listen to The Clifford Show on the I Heart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. And for more behind the scenes, follow @cliford and at TikTok Podcasts Network on TikTok. What is up guys? Welcome back to another episode of that a character podcast. I'm here. With Lauren, Lauren's here with me and we're in our new office. Yes. The new space. The new space first podcast in the new office. It's pretty exciting and I can't lie any longer. What? The wall behind us is fake. Dude, that lasted like two seconds. I just hate lying. I could have laughed for a little bit. But why? Why? What are we trying to trick them? I mean, I bet nobody even thought of that for a gap. That's true, guys. It's fake. It's fake. I just can't. I just can't lie any longer. I can maybe zoom out the lens and show that. Yeah, yeah, yeah, sure. Yeah, I'm just going to zoom it out just to show you guys. It just feels like I don't want to lie to anyone. How do you zoom out? How do you zoom out? Oh, zooming in. Oh, you can't. Well, it's perfect then. Wow, it just goes on forever. Okay. No, we promise. The wall is fake. Okay, there you go. Yeah. I don't know. It's just we're super honest and transparent people. I don't really like to lie to anyone. So, you know, me, I can't hold in a secret for the life of me. I can't. It's just hard unless it's a secret that I know is would ruin someone's life. So this was got a white lie. I don't want a white lie. There's no point in white lying. Yeah. Some gray lie. Some people say that's even more harmful than or not. A white lie? I don't know. I was watching that show. Did you end up watching it the new season of worst X ever? No, I just started with Mayne this morning. We're just halfway through the first episode. It's not that good, bro. What? Yeah. I don't know. What? I remember it being so twisty and turny before me actually like my jaw dropping for cases, but I was just kind of like. Yeah. I think the roommates one really threw me for maybe the roommates one is a little bit crazy like because it threw me for like surprises. Because it X is already like, oh, like it, it's already going to go wrong. That's what I've trouble with. Every X that you have something went wrong. Yes. I don't know it. What I have trouble with is like you could take any murderer or crazy person and view their life from the position of their X and then make an episode of this. Yeah. So what's kind of means nothing. Yeah. But a roommate is a unique situation. Yeah. You lived with this person. That's a unique horror. Like someone you met randomly. Yeah. Like they leave dirty food under their bed. Like it's like fun stories. Yeah. But the X one is like, oh, it's just a true crime case from the perspective of their X. Yeah. So kind of leaves me a little confused. Yeah. People date some really bad people, huh? Oh, yeah. So it's actually in love. Love will blind you. Love is blind. Yeah. Love will actually like put that. It'll put something over your face and it'll make you just accept whatever. Because these things you never thought you would do. Yeah. And all of it in the name of love. It's one of those elements that scientists can't quantify or figure out where it comes from. Love got us here too. If you think about it, we loved each other enough to get here. What? I'm serious. Yeah. I'm serious. I'm serious too. I said, yeah. Bro. Yeah. It's the real life. I know it's just kind of didn't sell it to me. I don't know. No. I wasn't picking. I hate when people accused me of picking my nose and all I was doing was rubbing out the exterior, rubbing the exterior. What's there though? Buggers. Something? No, there's a lint fluff. Lint. Fluff. Your nose is not that big that it's-- No, there was a fluff. It was a fluff floating in the air. I know. It's a bit doggy on me, bro. I'm not picking my nose on pot. I never picked my nose before on camera. I do a lot. And it's okay. It's not that gross. Well, I'm not a slimy booger guy, you know. I'm getting in there and I'm slimy booger. I love it. I love a nice sharp spot. Yeah. When it's like you're peeling a page of a book. Yeah. Those are good. Yeah. Those are good. Well, you just kind of like wipe the surface and it comes off one clean piece. Wow. That's ball. No, I didn't-- That's you. That was like an inside thought in my head. I didn't think it was-- Sometimes I even look at it. I'm like, damn. Yeah. I didn't experience that. Maybe it's green. It's red. It's like a quartz. Yeah. You know what one's I really like? No one's. When you go in and when you pull it, there's actually-- it comes from the deeps, from the depths. And you actually pull it. Like a-- It's a mix, hard to-- It's soft. It's like if you were to pour what's that quickly hardening liquid? Oh, that creates molds and stuff? Yes. So it's like in like the caverns or whatever you've pulled that-- And then you pulled it and it comes out perfectly. You've got a full mold of your nose. Yeah. Like a nose cord. That was our inside of something. That's when you're after you're sick or something. Yeah. Oh, you're clearing those are good. Or when you forget to pick it after like days and days and you're like-- That's how it's happened to me in a long time. You need to like-- I'm like an addict. Get your tolerance up. Yeah, I'm like an addict. There's like someone who's like not smoking away for a little-- You need to take a tea break. Yeah. And it's not even because they want to break from the tea. They just want to come back harder and stronger. Yeah, that was actually me when I used to smoke a lot of weed. I used to-- because I bought one of those pens. And I was getting really high. And I was like, oh, this is awesome. But then eventually I was hitting it so much that I didn't really get high. So I was like, am I really going to be puffing on this thing to try to get even higher? No. And it also just started to give me a headache. Whatever they put in those THC pen things, it's really bad quality shit. Smoking Delta 8. Yeah, literally. And then I found out what a tea break was. And it was like, whoa, you just have to wait a couple days and then you do it again. You're super high again. So that was pretty cool. Couple days. That's the cost of the tea break. You got to be in there for that to be a cost of the tea break. So anything more than a day is already a tea break for me because I'm a cylinder. Not anymore though. I smoked with Mink and what you did too. Yep. And that was fun. Mink in the stink. And we got pretty-- I didn't want to say that was crazy. He said, this will get you right. And I was like scared. Yeah. There's new merch, guys. It's out if you see it. Oh, yeah. It's out. It's officially out. Go to out of the picture. We've worked on the blanks as well. I think everyone's excited for this fitting hoodie. We've created so far. We are always tweaking things. You may not notice. Materials, things like that. And always more and more proud. Yeah. Two almost that are no bomb of thing. Or in rather proud. Out of character. This one. Do this. It actually feels like good. Like with your right hand. This is what he used to do. What is that though? It's like a-- It's like-- A pointer. A points aggressive and rude. You don't want to do that. So it's a little bit of a-- It's a conductor. It's like follow me. We will not see you do it. Emphasize. We will not ruin this country. There you go. Wait, that was actually a good, bro. We will try our best. No, try it. We will do our best. Yes. We will do what we have to do. There we go. Confidence levels. It's confidence. You got to get more confidence. It's hard because very-- Zero president versus level 100. Level zero. I will try it. If I try it to give you guys to make you guys a little happy-- Yeah, now I found it as a president. I'd mess up a lot. I'm not a good public speaking. You would run on like free pizza on Fridays. No, what would I-- What would I actually campaign on? What would I actually campaign on? You would do like student council's show, where it's like free ice cream on Fridays. I would just say no taxes. Dude, you don't even realize that what taxes go for. - Taxes make everything. - No, I want more taxes then. - I'll campaign on more taxes. - Yeah, you guys want more taxes. - No, you can't. You can, you shoot yourself in the foot either way. - I will know taxes. - No taxes or more taxes, you're getting, you gotta go kind of in the middle. - Same taxes. - So, tax the rich? - Oh. - No, he's cooking. - It is kinda crazy that rich people don't pay taxes. I saw a video recently and there's this like, yeah, you know, I don't think you understand. Like doctors, like when people say tax the rich, even doctors don't pay? - No, no, no, they pay, but it's like, those aren't even the rich people that you're thinking. It's like, not even people who make a million. It's like, not even people make two million, three million. It's like, billionaires don't pay taxes. Just like, that's kind of crazy. - Yeah, and millionaires do. - Yeah. - And millionaires pay a lot. - Yeah, so it's not the millionaires. So when you say eat the rich, like, do not eat millionaires, eat the billionaires. They're more media. - Media. They are from the media. - But it's like, no, when someone's saying like, the argument is like, you should, they should be taxed, because you know, those are that one lane person in the comments. It's always like, "Come on, he earned it, bro, he earned his business." - Whatever the fuck. But it's like, you have to also put in the other perspective of they literally use, they use the country more than the average person does. Like think about all like Jeff Bezos' Amazon vehicles driving up the roads, fucking ruining the roads and stuff. I didn't think about it like in a, yeah, if you wanna like quantify it. - You guys, you literally are using up the roads. - They use, they do, they have like factories everywhere. They're using all the land. - All the nature. - All the nature, ruining whatever. So it's like, they have to be taxed because of like proportionally how much they're using. But it just sounds like you're jealous. - Fine, I am. - Come on, he earned his money and if he wants to go to space, he can. (laughing) - It like doesn't even sound. - That person when they break their knees, it's like, they're bankrupt. - Yeah. - Bro, was that worth it? Like, I guess they're, maybe they have like a small inkling inside them and there's like, maybe if I like, put this comment on this picture about Jeff Bezos like going to space for something mate and if I support him, maybe like, he'll bring me on a spaceship. - When the world is ending and he's letting very few people in his bunker, he'll be like, oh yeah, remember? - Yeah, remember yourself says, remember your company. - Remember your company. - If the world is ending, you'd come over right. - That was a big. - To Jeff Bezos, he's singing that. - You'd come over right, right? - And then Bezos answers, ♪ I'll come over and spend the night ♪ - And then it actually works. - Yeah, billionaire glazers, and you know, there's, I hope that there's not too many, but I think there's actually a lot. - Yeah, I mean, gone is the error of the even cool billionaires back in the day. You can maybe find some billionaires with the world. - Elon was cool. Like there was a cool. - What the hell is that? - Oh, damn boy. He was sitting next to Elon. - Damn boy. - There was like a moment there where he was like, he, - Oh, meem review bro. He was on meem review. - No, no, listen, listen. - Yeah, yeah, yeah, listen. - Whoa. - There was a kid. - There was a kid. - There was a kid. - Where did he go? - He grew up, bro. And he's not cute anymore. - Linda, listen, no, he's not. - Probably not. - Like the guy from Vlog Squad or whatever. Every time I see him, he's stressed out. He got a beard now and everything. - He used to be cute, bro. He's like, I'm not cute anymore. Nobody likes me. - Yeah, Verdon. - Yeah, bro. Dude, you're scared of me, bro. - Verdon, no, go to school, Verdon. - No, I think he's like, I think he's actually like 20 now and he sells courses. - Whatever he does, I'm happy for him. But it's also, I feel bad 'cause he was involved in this whole thing and he's too young to even realize what was happening. And then like, yeah. I feel like with being put in such a crazy world, like, damn. Like being in a David Dobrik vlog, like, and we should applaud those who survived, like genuinely. - Yeah, and you also like, people talk to you about your, like, someone comes to Verdon and they're like, psyched, realizing Verdon. But it's the first people to do this. But they're like telling you about things they've seen of you that they enjoyed and how, you know, they liked you when you did X, Y, and Zad, when you were like 11. Can you remember anything when you were 11? It's like, it's even worse 'cause you don't, what's the mouth in the middle guy? Say he's like, I genuinely don't remember all of it. One of them, I think it's Dewey. He's like, you can ask me anything, 'cause you were so, I think Dewey doesn't even exist anymore. He left her or whatever. He left us as soon as that role was done. Like, you never wanted to get into acting, ever. - But that's what I mean. The actor says, like, I don't remember acting on that show. 'Cause you tell me, like, you remember anything when you were seven, eight, nine, 10. - No, I don't. - I don't remember a single thing. I mean, I remember key core memories and, you know, - I don't even think I remember key core memories. - Maybe I'll see something that reminds me of something from my childhood. But actual remembering of stuff. - Yeah. - I don't know. I also, like, didn't really do much when I was 11. Maybe that's why I don't remember. - Oh, you were probably busy. You were doing cool stuff, bro. - I don't think so, man. When I was 11, like, I think I just spent my time indoors playing Minecraft, 11 and 12. That's something like Minecraft. Alpha version came out. And I was like spending a lot of time there. - Yeah, you were not on the Alpha when you were 11. - I was, bro. I was one of the first people to play Minecraft, dude. - When you were 11. - Yes. - So what? - That's like, when Minecraft was like, I'm telling you, do you know what I played Minecraft? - I played Minecraft. - You know what I played Minecraft? No, Minecraft didn't come out in 2002. You crazy? No, I played the web version before the full version even released. - Like a flash game? - No, it was on Minecraft's website. You could actually see this how I know you don't know ball. There was a web version. - I never claimed to know that level of ball. That is-- - I have to people watch, no, 99% of people are doing so much. - It was just in Swedish. The game was just Swedish. - No, it was on Minecraft.net. It was, I'm telling you, they had the browser version and you could play. It was this one server and all it was was just flat. We were basically in a box and just a bunch of people would log on. You could pick a username, just jump around. - That's all you could do. It was like, that was Minecraft. - Are you sure nothing of Pixelgun? - No. - Pixelgun, are you kidding me bro? It was like 2010, when I'm talking about right now. This is 2010. - Oh yeah, okay. - 2010, 2011. That's when I played Minecraft. - I was there. - When scene anters posted episode one, bro. - Of his Minecraft. Do you even know scene anters? - You don't, that's the thing. - I do know. - So don't talk to me about Minecraft if you don't know scene anters. - When was this 2011? - Man, fuck you. - No, it was. - I was what? I was nine. - You were a baby, you were the youngest, bro. - I was a baby, yes. But I was playing Pixelgun and stuff. - When? - Last year. - Dang. - When were you playing Pixelgun, bro? - This is the first ages in bro. - I feel like I should have missed out. - Scene anters, where I'm telling you, bro. - That's, that is, that is you no ball. - The fourth episode of "What Was He Posting?" - What was he post to the Minecraft episode one? - But on this world with like three types of blogs? - No, yeah, no dead-ass. It was like alcohol version, like, grass and dirt. - Yeah. - And I was like, oh shit, I need to buy this game and I would do anything to get this game. And I got it and I had the most fun I've ever had in my life. That was when it was fucking peak. - I'm really. - That was literally peak because think about it. Now you're, now, now when they add stuff, and honestly it's like, it's still a thriving game. Why am I, you know, I'm not gonna sit here and act like it's dying, but it's like, it is losing. It's, it's, 'cause it was something that you needed. Like, you can't have too many things in the game 'cause you wanna survive with so little. - That's what it is. - There was a simplicity that I definitely lost, but I do think the game, it does allow you to play like that way still. - Of course. - They're careful to add stuff where it's like, you don't need to. - You don't need to even indulge in it. - Right, in a ride of a non-nodalist to get to the stage. - No, it's actually, no, that's one thing we can actually applaud Minecraft for is the fact that someone like me who has played back then can still play Minecraft and still have the same amount of fun. - Yeah, they're still everything's the same. - They're changing. - They're adding, I guess. - And most people who played Minecraft back then evolved with it. Like, I'm actually an anomaly where I didn't play super continuously. I played a lot, but there's definitely people who later who played through every era. - Right. - You know, so it's like, that's one of the few games that like-- - If you were 12 now getting into it, you would know every single thing. - Yeah. - You would get into the whole thing and it would be fun because it's so expensive. - Exactly. Whereas like, I don't know if any other games could really, I mean, Fortnite, I guess the same mechanics are there. - They do have a good job. - Yeah, I mean, but they changed. - But people in the middle-- - I think their biggest thing was when they brought back. - Oh, gee. - No, it's Fortnite overrated progress. What they did was-- (laughing) What they did was when they brought back, when they brought no build into it, which was because they saw how fast accelerating people's like mechanics were with like building. - Yeah. - It's like you would have a 11 year old who would be like crazy building. You just couldn't keep up as like a 20 year old. So they're like, "Hey, here's no build." So you can just like focus on the shooting. - Yeah, the level of work in like organization, these like the big three, I would say Roblox, Fortnite, in Minecraft, to like keep these things so expansive and replayable is time insane. I don't even know how you would even do that from like a top down level as a corporation. Who do you give the controls to in terms like creatively or planning out the future of stuff? They get like, Fortnite puts out an emo of like a niche dance and song that was just trending like four days ago. Like what is even happening? - Yeah, well their team is probably mad at this. - How did y'all do this? But it's like so close to the ground, you know? And like the promo is like that chapel-roan one like with the stop motion. - It's crazy how ingrained it is in our culture Fortnite. It's like it's like not, it used to be kind of. - It was a little bit like, there was a little bit - A little bit of Fortnite fell off vibes. - No, I'm saying there's a little bit of like, you could kind of like when you mix oil and water a little bit, it's like sits on top of it kind of. But now I feel like it's what's that name, what's the word? - Mulsified. - When it combines finally. - A marginous. - A marginous. Now it's like a marginous Fortnite in our culture. - Forever. - Yeah. - It'll be in the scripts. - 'Cause everyone was like, oh my God, it's so weird that they have this in Fortnite. But now it's like, oh, tung, tung, tung, it's also who is like in Fortnite, which that's all, there's the layers to that too. It's like. - That one's gonna take a while for us to appreciate. - There's actually something that derived from AI in, and it's good. - There's an AI meme in Fortnite. - But it's also like copyrighted at the same time, which could be like a precedent court case of it makes it. Like why is there a company attached to the skin? I don't know, it's like Rain Ruff Factory I think. They claimed it. We're a part of that too though. We're an AI, we have an AI channel. - Oh, where's our Fortnite skin, bro? Sleshing news is an AI channel. - AI, we're pro AI? - We're not pro AI, but we derived our name from AI. - These guys gotta be AI. Can you guys comment that on their glyphs? - AI cannot recreate these guys gotta be AI. Chat GBT has to be AI. Have you seen the, wait, really? Or, they're not serious. - No one's serious, but it cracks me up. - So like, Chat GBT has to be AI. - No, we were, I'm swear we were like one of the first people on Chat GBT. - Dude, I was on Chat GBT like before it came out. - You were on the Chat GBT alpha. - I was on the alpha. And I remember, I think I was talking to you, but I was like dude, when this comes out, I'm hearing it's gonna cost money. If it's a thousand dollars a month or something, it doesn't matter how much it is. We have to get our money together, because this is the future. - And you know what? - Bro has ready to play. - I was ready to pay a thousand dollars for Chat GBT. - Dude, I was, because that was-- - Shut up and take my money. (laughing) - I'm, came from, is that future all of them? - Yeah, yeah. - Oh, yeah, funny. I never watched that show actually. - Oh yeah. - But if it was Obama, shut up and take my money. - Take my money. - Yeah. And then, have you seen the, and all we could think of was, hey, can you come up with a funny YouTube name for our channel? - Yeah. - Sleshi Nubes. - Mixed walkie slash for a gaming channel. - Have you ever seen the AI? - Like animated show on Reels. And the guy says-- - Oh my god, yes, 'cause I see you like every single one. - Oh really? - Are they always used, they always use bro's, - Bro has an inventory system. - Yeah, yeah, yeah. - You know what? - That's my, it's pretty funny. - It's so bad. - It's so bad because the AI moves the voices to different people. - Yeah. - So it'd be like two guys talking and the teacher comes and has the same voice and like does the punch line. - Yeah, it seems like AI is just really good for memes. - I'm just laughing at it though, but I'm not supporting it. You know, I just wanna say that right now. - Yeah, you consume AI differently than others. - I am just sadistical and I wanna watch the world end. - So I get a laugh out of it. (laughing) - Oh my god, P.U. - No, I'm just kidding. - No, it is funny, it's really unreal to see an AI meme. I mean, what are you gonna do? Am I gonna sit in the comments being like, "Theoretically guys, "it's just funny." - I don't like it. I don't like that I like it. It sucks. That's why we're trying to put a funny step foot forward. We're trying to fight it. - Yeah, we're trying to laugh at it. - No, we're trying to put out funny content to compete with AI. - Oh yeah, that is our competitor. - Is that so far? - And right now it's funny 'cause they're so far behind, but that's why I'm laughing 'cause I'm like, "Oh god, it's over for us, isn't it?" - Hey, there might be, and there might be a future where you're, you know, you're watching someone. - Your favorite, I think peanut is AI. - Peanut, peanut is the first. - Burn Peanut was gonna be the first Twitch streamer he has to be AI. - Burn Peanut. - He is humor as AI though. - Burn Peanut. - He has AI humor. - Dude, I watched him for like half an hour the other day. And what did you think? - I kind of understood the appeal. - You like him, right? - I like him too. A lot of people hate him on the internet. (laughing) - Me and 40,000 people understood the appeal at that moment. I was shocked at the viewership. - Yeah. - Still I am. I'm always shocked, but I was actually watched for a long time 'cause he's playing Apex and he's just really good at the game. So that goes a long way, I think, watching. - I also think like a lot of burnt peanuts viewers, I think they just, I think. - I'm worried about it. - I'm really excited. (laughing) - Do you guys just think about that send the burnt peanut viewers? - The burnt peanut viewers. - You're laughing, but there's a, - They are really. (laughing) - What, what are you guys? - It's just sad, but yeah, burnt peanut viewers, they probably really like peanuts. - Okay. - No, I just had to get that out. - Okay. - But there is, you never met someone who really likes peanuts dude. - I like peanut butter. - I'm actually goes to a five guys and like eats the peanuts that they have a five guys. - Oh wow. - Like those are burnt peanut viewers. - Okay. - It's like the rain and the ass people. - You know my boiled peanuts. - No. - It's like big in the south. They say it's really good. I never had it. I'm gonna come out with this new. I'm gonna start streaming as boiled peanuts. - Well, you know about the sheriff, right? You know him. No, is that built in more? Oh my God, you don't know about him? - Sheriff peanut. - Dude, it's this dude. It's this dude who like, he used to stream like fully like his face came and everything. - Wait. - Because Laura was like, he tried to like get people to like become Christian or something. I don't know. And he was just like weird with kids. I might be getting this completely around. I think the like, I know this guy. - And he has a beard and glasses. - Yeah. And he just like decided to turn into like burnt peanut but he calls himself like the sheriff. - No way. - And he was weird with kids. - Did you say that? - I think so. - On my or just kind of like a EDP watch. - Just kind of weird. Just weird. Faithful sheriff is his name. - Oh no, the sheriff. Faithful sheriff. So I know the guy who spreads the gospel on, on. Oh my God. Is that him now? Oh, I'm sorry. - I didn't know that was, I didn't know that that was. - Goat is goat. - Is that him? - Yeah, that's him. - And he has a voice shender too. - Yeah. So Faithful sheriff is kind of like, why is he doing a peanut though? Does he know he could do other stuff? - That's the thing. He sees, he's so like small, he's so peanut-brained that he literally sees burnt peanut's success and says, oh, so the trick is to become a peanut on Twitch. Like actually, I'm not doing good because I'm not a peanut. - Like he's like, I'm gonna reach bigger audiences if I just turn myself into a peanut. It sounds like one of those fairy tales. Like it's like you get cursed and you get put in a peanut's body. Like you want all fame and success but you have to be a peanut. - And you have to get to 50k average viewers to return to your normal form. Jesus Christ. That's what peanut's doing. I think that's his whole story. I think burnt peanut just got cursed by some witch and he needs to reach a certain amount of subs to return to his natural form. - Wait. And then what's the word that's inside Twitch? Witch. - What the hell? Dude, you might be honest something. - I guess so, yeah, maybe. - Yeah. Well, yeah, now I haven't really watched a stream yet. - You should. - I'll tune in. What's the schedule like every single day, all the time? - That's good. Wow, that's actually pretty impressive. Every day he streams. - Probably, yeah. - It's not, you don't just get to be one of the best by not trying. I see you streaming, bro. You're not streaming like peanut. You want to be at the top. - I'm not. - You got to stream every day, bro. - Just think, I don't know if I want to be at the top. I just kind of want to just, I just want to have some viewers. You know, I used to stream to 20 viewers, right? - Yeah. - You know, I used to stream to 40k, like, we're being at, you used to stream to 40k. - Oh, for sure. - Oh. - You and others. - Me and others. I also used to stream myself to like three and a half. - That's insane. - I did a whole month. I did a month of sub-a-thon. Month that eight hours a day. - I tuned into one of your streams the long time ago, I remember. You're a glue one. - Oh, that was fun. - That was insane. - I remember I tuned into it and I was like, wow. This guy's gonna go places. - I looked back on it and that was very like Twitch core. - That was like, so off the cuff and crazy. - It was. - He was mainly of like Rekai. - It was like a Rekai. - It was something that Rekai wouldn't even think of that. - I just speak like Rekai. - I don't even speak like Rekai. - Rekai. - Shut up, bitch. - No, 'cause I lived in the basement and I put, I shoved all my computer, like equipment to record through that one of those really short basement windows and funneled all the cables into a tent and the PC's running in my room. - Yeah, dude, it was like, speak like Rekai. - It was like the level streaming. - Oh my God. - It was like, that's like Kaisenat level, bro. - It was like Rekai, it's Kaisenat. - But it was like super scuffed, like a red dragon keyboard. Like nothing was set up right. It was like, you did what you had to do. You did what you had to do with what you had. - It's turning into the Italian thing. It's like this. - Oh yeah, true. Why am I doing like this? - Not like this, like this. - Speak like Rekai. - Speak like Rekai. You speak like Rekai. - Shut up, bitch. - I wanna announce that I'm stopping drinking coffee. - Oh, do it in no bomber voice, bro, you nobody. - I will not be consuming coffee. - Yeah, I will only be consuming E-fuck. 'Cause I don't give E-fuck. - 'Cause it's funny. - 'Cause it's funny. But no, I actually am not gonna consume any coffee. 'Cause I don't know what's going on, but every time I drink coffee, Coffee every time I drink coffee, I actually feel like I'm jumping out of my body like I cannot. Who's making you drink it though? I feel like you keep being like society. Society it's like you wake up in the morning, get yourself a coffee just feels like I have to. True, it's feels like I'm a society would say actually. I think about it. And then I'm like, okay, I'll get myself a coffee. Why do I want to crawl out of my own skin? Why can I not sit still? Why do I feel like impending doom when I drink coffee? Don't drink it. Don't drink it. Why though? Why is there a substance that makes you do that? For you, that's your reaction. For me, I drink one a day and I feel like I got to be like, or guy, like I feel good, I feel energetic. But then I drink red bull and I'm fine. Or I drink any energy drink and I'm fine. You just have major Kyle energy. You need to get into monsters or something. No, I used to drink monsters when I worked at the deli. That's all I drank. Monsters. And you talk about the monsters. You talk about those times like it was your, I'm friends with the monster. Yeah. I'm fans of the monster inside of your band. What was that lady Gaga like, Twitter interview? She's talking about like her fan in like a wheelchair. Her posted a picture of them. She's like my favorite little monster. Someone replied it was like, what the hell? What she calls her fans monsters? Oh, I see. I see. Do you remember that one? No, but that is so funny. I gotta find this so funny. My favorite little monster. I'm, yeah. Lady Gaga. I want to be a monster. Monster tweet. Why did it add an emoji? The text speech just threw an emoji. It was a monster and it went. Lady Gaga helping Owen and disabled little monster. Get back to his place at the Joanne World and then someone quote tweeted just because he's disabled, doesn't mean he's a monster, delete this disgusting post. Oh my God, that's horrible. I think they're being funny. They'll quote tweet. Yeah, yeah, yeah. People on satire. People on satire. People on Twitter. People on Twitter a lot of satire. They love saying things with double meaning. The entire internet is satire. They love it. Everything is satire. You know that? Yeah, I'm addicted to playing character online. Yeah. Everybody. Because everybody's too scared to take themselves seriously. Everything's satire. Not in not a, no, people are scared to take themselves seriously. They're scared. You're scared to take yourself seriously. Mm-hmm. Because. Because you will not, you will be held accountable. And you will be. Compared to the person who you ought to be. Ought. I like that, you know? Once you set a standard for yourself and create packets, yo. Freaking the day packets, you know? Oh, no one will. I don't think anyone remembers us talking about it before research. I know, right? It didn't really do. We had a lot of. We had a lot of stuff. But what if we're the sort of tremor in the earth? We're not that. An unconscious. It could. Maybe one of our viewers is a viral tweeter and they kind of heard us. They get their ideas from us? Maybe not directly, but it was set in the back of their mind and then they quoted something with packets, yo. And then the ball started rolling. 'Cause it was all knowledge. That's us. There's prompt engineers and we're like. We're fucking comedy engineers. We're like. We're comedy engineers. We're like. I'm gonna start saying that. I'm gonna start saying that when someone asks what I do instead of saying like, "Oh, kind of like YouTube, I'm a comedian, kind of." I'm not gonna say that. I'm gonna say I'm a comedy engineer. I engineer where comedy is gonna go in the future. I'm gonna say that. That's cool. That's gonna be like, what the. How? And I'm like. I do something so funny from the future. I just didn't understand it until a year later. And then he starts laughing randomly. He fuck. (laughing) Yeah. Well, that's like. Backwards. I know. 'Cause I just know that E-Fog's gonna just come to the veil. It's gonna. E-Fog will prevail. E-Fog will prevail, actually, forever. E-Fog's not going in. 'Cause it's funny. (laughing) No, I don't know what to tell people. And yeah, I have a podcast, bro. Yeah, you can pick something new every time. You could say, I have a podcast. I just make shit up. I'm gonna just start making shit up. I'm gonna say I'm a prompt engineer. I'll just say that. I'm a prompt engineer. So basically what I use is. I have Claude set up on a couple monitors in my house. I have chat GBT going and then I have. What is another AI? Is it just Claude and chat GBT right now? Deep C. Gemini. Gemini. Kind of just behind. Deep C. Whoa, whoa. Deep C. Deep C. Come seek, come suck. You don't know Deep C? No. China's flagship AI month. I haven't really heard more. Uh oh, I haven't heard much about it. That's China right there. You're through a boy. What's going on with Deep Seek? That's good, I think. Not good. It's not the right word. I want to go to China, dude. Go. I want to go, dude. Ask Deep Seek, should I go to China? Yes, come here now. No, I actually do think that I really want to go to China at some point. I don't know when. I don't know why I don't know how. Yeah, I want to go. Their hype is. I just want to use the advancements that they have. I just want to use them. See, because I keep seeing them on TikTok and stuff. And I want to go and see if it's real. I want to go to it. Why does he have China's real? Does it really exist? People think that about you. It's more than even real. I've seen that comment. I want to go to a place that's a whole parallel world, you know? Whole different culture in the language. That's China. That's China. That's like, wow, wow. This is happening simultaneously. Every after he uses different. I want to go to New Delhi. They have TikTok banned now. I don't even know what I would do with myself. I'm going to go there. The hills of Afghanistan, the roar rolling. Like in the savannas, Sahara Desert, the Golbi Desert, the largest. Golbi, Golbi. The largest desert in Asia. Go there, ride a horse, go to Mongolia and the road scene, whatever it takes. I want to see it all. I used to have this encyclopedia on my favorite image was. Whenever they would put those throat things. Oh, yes. And they'd play their throat like a xylophone, I think? I don't think they would do that. Or what's it for? Maybe they would. I know they would be stretching their neck. I believe it's a tribe in Africa. Right. No. My thing is the earlobes. Well, there's a couple of. There's definitely like different cultures out there that do that. But this one was like a. I think Chinese neck. Stretching. Dude, I got to watch Baraka, bro. Yeah. Oh, yes. It's the neck ring. That's the picture from the book. I just was so enamored by this photo. I used to just like. It's just there. Oh, what I used to do is I used to rub kind of like this. Like. Like because I was like very tactile as a kid and I was hoping that it that would be that but it never was. You thought it was like braille or something? Yeah. But what would it do? Usually it's just attractive, I think. Okay. To actually get your neck to that point is crazy. That's Photoshop, bro. That has to be. It's not. Don't show me that mess, please. No. Don't. Myanmar, Myanmar. Wow. Long neck. Wait. Long neck came from Myanmar. No, but he would thrive in Myanmar. He would be the Emperor. They would just. They wouldn't want to. They would just put him on a throne. No, I think. Yeah. I think sometimes I think people. It's so hard for me to find people who I think would like to travel or even camp or hike the way I would like to. How do you want to do it? I'm not even that hardcore but I don't think. I'm not even hardcore at all. But I feel like everyone has such specific ways and that's okay. Like what? Like. Like how do you do it versus someone else? Like I would like to be uncomfortable genuinely. Yeah. I genuinely want to be uncomfortable at certain types of expeditions. I mean, there's a default. There's a default uncomfortable of being in a new space. Yeah. I would like to be a bit more than that. I don't mind that. That's a core memory, Sydney. Would you do hostile? Like I'm. More so like nature and the. Like really getting involved with the people. The people. I like that. You would trust someone. The more so. The more so nature and the elements and sort of. It's like, hey, I'm secretly trying to create a core memory here. Okay, I don't want to say it. Okay? Yes. We didn't pack exactly all the lights we needed to go camping or every bug spray or. Yeah. But we're next to a river and maybe one of us will jump into it. I don't know. But let's not say all that. I'm not like underpacking trying to create a core memory. But it's like. You're like. We forgot all this stuff, dude. This is totally gonna be a core memory. No. Yeah, you know what I mean? It's like. Yes, let's go hike. But we don't know what trailhead will start at. We don't know where we're gonna go. Maybe we'll have a story to tell. You know what? I think what a perfect one was when it was our camping trip. That was like. When we kind of were scared, we almost died. - Yeah. - And that was so much fun. - We had a slight brush with death maybe. - And but at the same time, we're, you know, and 45 minute hour hike from our car, everything's gonna be okay. But let's make believe have fun. I mean, we did have some screenplay. We got dark. - Well, we got dark and we were like, "Oh crap, we actually do have a flotter tent here at an emergency campsite." Because it was like, "Okay, we can't find our campsite." - That's fun. - That's fun. - You know, I would like that. But I don't think anybody in my life right now. And it's also, I don't blame, like if I told you that, like I wanna be in a risky situation, you're like, "I'm just kinda has to happen." - Yeah, you're like, "I'm kinda good right now." - I mean, no, I don't think anyone would say that. - Any, no one would. - Exactly. - But it's like, what if we just pushed our limits a little? - Well, yeah, I think it's a physical maybe pushable. - Well, it has to happen in the moment. In the moment, you have to be like, "Fuck it, let's do it." Like it's like that. - Yeah. - 'Cause you can't do, you can't sit at home comfortably and be like, "I wanna push myself to the limits." Like it's like, you're not gonna, you're gonna be like, "Okay, what does that even mean? What does that, I can't even form that." - No, that's what I've thought I have. It's just, I want to, maybe I'm seeing cool people and cool above, you know, unique scenarios. And it's like, let me just throw myself in that, into that mix, see what happens and see what I'll learn for next time. Like I'm also learning from my mistakes. I'm not just like a dickhead, like, "Ahhh." Let me call SOS on my phone and get the helicopter to save me from this hike, 'cause I didn't bring the right socks. But also, you're gonna bring the right socks. - I'm gonna bring the right socks. - Yeah, yeah. - I wanna be comfortable. - I know you mean, I know what I mean. But I think it's, maybe it's a, so it's hard females aren't really into that as much. Women, excuse me. - Well, yes. Well, yes. No, I feel like I gotta find someone who's just like that, that I go on escapades with them, who can take me, maybe like a 40 year old mountain climber and they just tag along with it. - Or get this, or you just do, or you just do you, and you'll get those situations naturally. - Yeah, if I do like solo thing. - Or solo, but I'm saying in general, like you're gonna, everything will bring you to where you need to be. You don't need to like, make it artificial. - I'm not trying to make it artificial. - You are though, 'cause you're trying to find someone who, you're trying to find someone who does that. - Well, no, more so as you go on a hike, the three day hike with me. Do you wanna come with me? - When. - Sometime in the summer, that'd be fun. The Berg Trail, a three day hike? - Yeah, it's like you hike and then you set up base and then you hike again and then you set up base. - Yeah. - You wanna come? - Yeah, sounds fun. - Let's go. I fixed it, bro, it was you the whole time. - Well, this time I'm saying, you're catching me off guard here. - And that's okay. - But there is a little, 'cause you've probably been pondering - Not even like it. - You've also been pondering on this. - I'm not even like it, I just gotta try it. - But you've also been pondering on this. - So you pond, feel free to pond or get back to me. - Let me pond or get back. - 'Cause you had all this time in your thoughts to ponder about it, it's not like you just went, I wanna go on three day hike. Like you thought about this before you already knew the trail, you already knew about it. - I already looked into it. - You probably looked into it, did you look into it? - I looked into it and say, - Right. - It's like a time to process. - Let's be spontaneous together. - That's a thing, dude. Nothing ever good from people, nothing ever good comes from people being like, let's be spontaneous, you just do it. - Why do relationships like that all sudden? What are girls all sudden like that? - What? - In movies. - But they're like, let's be spontaneous. - Or is that? - Fake, movies are fake. - Whoa. - Like, there's no one gets up out of their bed and goes, I'm gonna be spontaneous today. And they just like, what do you start doing? Like touching and like random thing? Like, like exercising your free will. Like, maybe like touching the wall. - I don't know, I don't know. Like, what does that even mean? Like, I'm gonna be spontaneous. I'm gonna go get a book from the bookstore. I'm spontaneous. - I don't know. - To me that more means like, let me just go to the J's game and see if I could get a ticket at the booth. - To me, that sounds like someone who's about to go crazy. Something's about a, a screw is about to fall out of their head and they're gonna go, 'cause it's like, all it is is, hey, just be open to trying new things. You don't need to push crazy limits. You don't need to like do like, you know those people who just show up places alone and they're like, I'm doing it, I'm alone. I'm doing it. It's like, that's good. But also if you don't do it, it's fine. So don't like, there shouldn't be pressure around anything you do, just do it. Just do it. Just go with the flow, go with how you feel. Yes, bring yourself to new areas, yes, but you don't need to like, force it or whatever. Like, yeah, sometimes, sometimes I, like last night, I didn't really wanna go to spontaneous shit. But I was like, you know what, like, this is a fun experience, like, let me just experience it. But maybe on, maybe two weeks ago, if that presented itself, I probably wouldn't go. You know what I mean? Like, sometimes I will, sometimes I won't. Sometimes I don't, no, no, no, no. Well, the video we recorded is, that was very spontaneous. That was spontaneous of us. Yeah. But I didn't think, oh, how spontaneous of us. No, I just think, yeah. Yeah, we just did it. But then now we can look back and be like, oh, that was spontaneous. So I think that's what I'm looking for. Yeah, let's just do it. We'll just do it. We'll eventually do something like that. Now that I know that you wanna do stuff like that, and you want me to do stuff like, we'll eventually get, 'cause we were wanting the same in that. So we'll do that. There we go. We already done things. We already tried and true. We already done things, so we will do it eventually. Bingo, banga, right on the money. Yeah. Yeah, and even, and then we'll be able to look back and go, oh my God, that was like so spontaneous of us. And then that's what it's all for, so you can say that. So that's, so that you could write on, like, a resume. I'm a pretty spontaneous person. Oh my God, I got bleak all of a sudden. Hey, what's up? What up, my name's Martin. Yeah, so one thing I once did was I went to a concert. I was not planning on, and I just showed up and stayed until, so 12.30. Hi. Went on a hike with my friend. What's up? Yeah. I'm spontaneous. Being spontaneous is, it's like, it is the word. It's like, you just do it. You can't plan anything. I don't like spontaneous. Spontaneous isn't attractive to me and other people or even myself. It's actually scary to me. I think what I don't like is too much prep that removes the zest and magic of whatever it might be. I think it's too much thinking on it. I think that's like, there's so much that can go wrong there. You could build it up to something that can't be done anymore. You could get the dope of me and I just talking about it and never doing it. You can analysis paralysis. You don't know what's the min-maxing, optimizing, making sure you're getting the most out of whatever it is. That, I think, is what really is like. Yeah. Suffocating. Yeah. Because you don't, you don't actually-- I didn't grow up like that. My parents, every vacation we'd go on, my parents would hear of a city, we'd go there. They'd go to a truck stop and get every single brochure of the local attractions. And we're going to this water park tomorrow. And there's this magician in town. And it's just like we go. And it's like, we're doing it. Yes. If I go on a vacation now with my family and they're like, we literally have nothing planned. We're just going to the city and be like, what the heck? Yeah. It's finding that balance. It's finding about it. But it's a fun-- it's a fun-- let's just go to a city and see what happens. That's what they used to do back in the day, bro. Back in the day. They didn't have all these keyword back in the day, bro. Yeah, back in the day. It's like, now, dude. Now? Yeah, all the apps. There's no magic. You got to bookmark TikToks about what to do when you're in a city. You got to use Wonderlog and Yelp. And while the city-- People are using TikTok as Google. That's the big thing. It used to be kind of good. Now it sucks. But that's the thing. It used to be good because you were getting authentic. People being like, yeah, it went this way. It was horrible. Now it's like, you just see, come loud. You just see, come load all over my freaking screen, bro. Come load? Is that what they say? Come load, yeah. That's how it's said. Yeah. The graduation thing. Yeah, it's-- I graduated, come load. Day. Come load. Wouldn't even use that Greek? I think it's Latin. Oh, that makes sense. There's a Latin come load. A dead language, ironically. Yeah. Which is kind of sad. How did it die since everyone-- How did that language die if everyone uses it? We still use Latin. If something tells me there's a dark reason why maybe-- probably maybe-- The population's got wiped out or something. Oh, maybe. I don't know. I feel like that's how language would get lost. Like with the pigs. Piglin? Like something like that? Like something like animals or something? Kind of like potato famine, pig famine kind of? Kind of. Or just sort of very isolated cultures who have to work hard to keep their languages alive. I feel like Latin was one of the biggest ones. Yeah, I'm not saying this happened to Latin, but I know sometimes there's languages that have to be carried by a dozen people. Well, I know that they also taught Latin in schools. You could learn Latin. What a waste of time. Momentum worry. Momentum worry. Remember me. Always. It was I would say. I think it was remember death. Remember death. Remember that there's death. Remember death. That's a good tattoo. That would be a good tattoo. When you're like guinea pig dies, let's go. Please. Melanto mori. That's OK, though. If you cared about your guinea pig, you'd-- I'm going to get a tattoo on my back. It says cum laude. - I'm going to be a load. - It's because I graduated, come load. So I put it on my lower back. (laughing) I put it right above my ass and it's just come load 'cause I'm so proud. (laughing) And then, and then just in case you couldn't find the tattoo, I just put a giant arrow pointing through it. Your old body just arrows pointing to there. If you look at the chest, it's just pointing back. Guys look, look, look, I graduated, come load. Someone who's just so happy they graduated, come load. Wait, isn't it come load or come load? (laughing) It's something, someone can come load. - You're a yodeling girl. - It's something to come load. Come load, come load, come load. (laughing) Well, Walmart, yodeling kid, bro. - It is. - And through the podcast. (laughing) - Yoli. - It's, it's, some a load of come load or something. Hold up. I'll find it, oh, summa come load. Summa come load. Summa come load is the highest Latin academic honor. (laughing) Highest praise or highest honor. Typically, a word to graduates at the top of their class often the top one to five percent. - Oh. - It indicates exceptional academic excellence. - Summa come load. - Summa come load. - Cheers. If you got that, that's impressive. I got top 10 honor load. - Summa come load. (laughing) - You funny, you love funny. - That's why it died, bro. - That's why the language died. - 'Cause it was just gay. - No. - 'Cause people were just like making jokes about it. And they're like, this is a goofy language. We got to switch it up. (laughing) - And then they started speaking French. - French. - French. (laughing) - Of maybe. - I was gonna say France. - Well, actually, no, you're onto something here though because French, Spanish, a lot of them. - They're all derived from Latin. So there's a little bit of come load in everyone. (laughing) - There's some load for come load. - Everyone derived from the same come load. - Summa come load. - Your thing you have out one song. ♪ Sima na ho de nir ♪ (laughing) ♪ Me nu better ♪ (laughing) - The song was Latin, bro. But he said song, "Simma no." - No, it's simma no. ♪ Come load me nir ♪ ♪ Me nu better ♪ ♪ Me nu better ♪ ♪ Me nu come load ♪ ♪ Simma come load ♪ (laughing) - Some would actually think we're fuck, we're actually high right now, but it's just, I'm just high on life. Like it's a Sunday, like I'm having fun. People are out and about. It's Mother's Day, Happy Mother's Day. - Happy Mother's Day. - She's all the mothers out there. - It's just, it doesn't move every day. It's like the first Sunday of the month. Oh fuck, I think it's getting earlier and earlier. - Like every month, like every year I gotta search it up. I feel like I should know it by now. - Yeah, I ordered my mom flowers on Uber Eats. - Nice, I bought my mom a TV. - Oh. - Fuck, why do you beat me every Mother's Day? (laughing) - No. - Fine, you love your mom more than I do. - My do. - Mine do. - You can just press some buttons on your phone and a TV will just show up. That's actually a thought I had when I did "Strums" for the first time with Mandy. When we ordered Uber Eats. Like when it came to our dorm, we're like, the fact that you can actually just order the food. - You press some buttons in a piece. - And everything looks shiny and stuff on the phone. All the buttons are glowing and like, "Oh, click here, click here." That was so crazy. - You just like wreck it off too. - Yeah, I can't go on my phone if I'm under the influence anymore. It's just too much. - Also eating on a shrooms. I don't know what y'all are on. - Oh, no, we didn't eat it. That's the thing. - No, I just showed up. And I was like, "I'm hungry, but I don't want to eat." - No, it's not pit in your stomach. You don't eat. - No, I just like, I don't like this. But I like to look at it. I was like, "Oh, this is cool." - Yeah, and then Rudy just started eating and throwing it everywhere. - No, no, but Rudy looked crazy, bro. He's like, 'cause he has this, you know, he has a big smile. Like he's like, he's like, he's like, extra big in his face, he's melting. I was like, "Hmmm." - Oh my God. - Yeah. Rudy's like really cute, but scary on shrooms. It's like, go. It's like, hot ass breath, like, yeah. Definitely, definitely, you could like, feel the breath. - When you're on shrooms, you're just regularly. - Regularly, and then on shrooms, it's even more in hands, I'm like, "Look at dragon." - Yeah. Yeah, no, you need to go. - Where? Where does he need to go? - The bathroom. (laughs) - Say it with your chest. You want my dog to die? - No. - You want him to die. - No, I don't even like Rudy that way. - I like Rudy. I like Rudy a lot. - But you love Eddie. - I love Eddie, though. - See? - The thing is Rudy, me and Rudy never got to be really close because he was already owned by Mandy. We already bonded to Mandy. Eddie's, Eddie, I think is bonded to me. But they both love each other, which is all that matters. Is Eddie and Rudy actually have a friend in each other? - That's actually cute. - They actually get to play together and stuff. Like, that's actually cute. When you see dogs play with each other, it's so cute. Also, what changed my perception on everything is the fact that dogs, they stay, their brain gets the capacity of a toddler. So they have a brain of a toddler, essentially. - Whoa. - That's their capacity. - And cats, what? They get smarter every day? - No, I think they also can. I think almost animals just have the capacity of a toddler. - I see. - But it's cute because you start to see toddlers in them. You start to see why they do certain things. Like, I saw a baby in the mall the other day and it was like, it had a toy and it was just throwing the toy on the ground and then laughing. - Stupid fucking baby. - But what it is is that's a game to them. They find amusement of that. And then I noticed Eddie and Rudy do the same thing. It's like, they have a tennis ball in their mouth and they're like, on the edge of the couch, they push it with their nose so that it falls down. And then I get it for them. - Oh. - But that's their game. And I'm like, my god, you're so similar to this baby. - Just a baby. - Yeah, they're just babies. - So does I like you want a baby? - 'Cause I do really do. - I do want a baby, yeah. - I was hanging out with a baby recently and I'm not drugging a few times. - By yourself? - No, I have a relative that's a baby. - Okay. - And like one year old baby, just turned one. - Okay. - And I called her red on accident. 'Cause you're so similar. - I'm like red. - And then I froze, called her my cat's name. - Yeah. - That's fine. - You just see similarities. - No. - You see similar. - That's human, that's an animal. You're one of those guys who'd rather have a human. - No, you're one of those guys. - What? - 'Cause you just did it. Deep down you're one of those guys. - One of those hooves. - Guys who are-- - One of those confused babies for animals. - Oh yeah, that's me. - And animals for babies. - But I don't, I'm not the guy who left someone, someone die before their own pet. - So if there is a random person about to get hit by a car or red about to get hit by a car. - 'Cause red every time bro. - You let red get hit by a car. - I'll hit him with my own car. - To save some random dude. - Yes. - I think we just come from different places. - You grew up with animals and in a animal space. - Well. - I grew up with the straight cat that I get to feed when I get a chance. - Well, let me just, okay fine. And then let me put you another predicament. - Uh oh. - Moral dilemmas. - You're about to find out who we really are. - Two buttons. - Oh god. - Okay, like that meme when you're sweating? - One will kill a red, one will kill a random guy. And you just have to-- - I'm killing red. - I'm killing red bro. I have to. - I have to. - You don't know this guy at all? - I got to. - Well he could be a murderer. - Okay, what? - He could be. You don't know anything about him. - Okay. - He could have done some heinous things. He could have read, has never done anything like that. - But are the chances that he's a murderer, the same chances that any human on the street is a murderer? - I guess so. - Well, he doesn't have to be murdered though. He could just be a not a good person. - But it's the same proportion as the human race is. - Yes, but it's also, it's also, it's also guaranteed that red is a great cat. - Yeah, but red has to go red. - Reds live the good life. He's two. - So you're killing red? - Yes, yes, without a doubt. - I know. - But for me, I see the button with the man's face on it. I go, "Bah, blah, blah, blah, blah." And that's for red to say red. - Oh, no. - No, no. - I'm killing red, I'm sorry. - That's all right. - But you put Eddie's face on there? - Ooh. - No. - It's gonna be a hard one. That's like, I'm sorry. - But okay, it's hard. - I'm sorry. - Okay, so that's where you're-- - I just have to. - For Eddie, for Eddie at least. All right, here's another one. Now, you're different to Loma. You're watching me. I got two buttons, you're peering over my corner. - Okay. - And one of mine is Eddie and one of them has you. I'm clicking you, 'cause you love Eddie so much, right? Right, why does that even have works? Me, you wanna save me? - No, I got Eddie and you. - You're not gonna save Eddie, I know you. You're not gonna save me. - But you're telling me, what are you gonna tell me? - No, I'm saving you. - What are you gonna say? - You're saying you already told me how, what type of person you are. You save humans every time, so I'm good. - But you're in my ear, you're like, I love Eddie, man, just keep Eddie, I'll go. - I'll never say that. You don't love Eddie that much. - But if it was reversed and it was you on there and Eddie, I'm saving you. That's the difference. I know you, I've built memories with you. There's more, you mean more to me than Eddie, of course. - All right, what if it's Eddie? And it's like, now we're doing like the bracket tournament, bracket match. It's Eddie and it's like Chloe Ferrero. Chloe Ferrero. You're just gonna die? Yeah. To you. Eddie and it's Martin from Cordis. Martin from Cordis. That actually helps me. That helps you. You guys see my SEO. Your SEO is gonna go crazy. Yeah. That's like, that was like the easiest one you could've done. You could have nothing on the other button. Yeah, I'm telling Martin from Cordis. I'm sorry y'all. It's just like, I can't, I need to be the only one. Is everyone gonna search Martin died? There could only be one. That's it. That's what I say for the right at the button. And then what I would do is I would just then, what I would do is I would take Martin's skin and I would zip myself up and I'd become Martin from Cordis. That wouldn't help you though. What it? Why would I not? No, then I'd be the only Martin and I'd be Martin from Cordis and then everyone wins because technically Martin never left. It's like, look guys, it's me Martin from Cordis. Dang. Yeah. Give me another. Okay, it's Eddie and then it's my little brother. I mean, no, I have to kill Eddie. I'm gonna save your little brother. Yeah, I appreciate that. I'm gonna save your little brother because it's like, because that's my little brother. Just like your little brother. Imagine, I would also, you would never look at me the same. Like, Jen, you know. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. But let's say I never knew. It just, it gets hit by a car. Oh, they would just tell you he got hit by a car. But would I know that that would happen? You would know. You would be on you. Yeah, I know. I still wouldn't do it. Okay, I appreciate that. Because I could let him know. I could never look at you the same. Okay. I would also be, I'd admit it right away. Just saying we would need a brother for all paper. I could rather be a brother. Okay. Okay. What about Eddie and, um, AOC? AOC. Alexandria Cortez. Who are you going to kill? Eddie's is true. Oh, by the way, if you guys don't know, but this thing I kill AOC. Okay. Eddie's really cute. Eddie's really fucking cute. AOC is pretty cute too. And he's also one of a kind. So was AOC. I hope she's not one of a kind. I hope there's other people like her in the world. What the hell? I was trying to craft a PR response. Oh, hell no. I'm trying to, because I have to think of my PR response after that happens. So why did you kill AOC to save your Chihuahua? I would have to say, well, I would hope not. I hope there's a little bit of AOC in all of us. Okay. I was, AOC isn't dead. AOC is not dead. She's in every one of us. That's what I would say. I would murder AOC talking like that is crazy. What I'd, Eddie, and never eating pizza again for your life. Oh. No, I'm saving Eddie. I also just have to like, come on guys, I got to show you what Eddie looks like, because it's like, you guys are just thinking of stinky Chihuahua's guy. Come on. He's the cutest Chihuahua in the world. Oh, just search, and on Google, maybe if you search Eddie Martin's dog, it might come up. I don't know though. No, he's so cute. Oh, come on. You got to like, find the sweet spot zooming out and kind of, yeah, there you go. Something like that. There. He's cute. Come on, guys. A lot of you guys would do the same choices I just did. Oh, come on. You're killing him really? I don't want to. I don't. I really don't. Oh, you can't even see it. Damn it. Okay. All. Yeah. Sorry to those who I said I would kill you, but Martin from Cordis, sorry about that Chloe AOC. Yeah. Dang. Okay. Well, for me, I'd probably kill both my cats with like an axe. For like, maybe money for money? No, no. I'm going to save someone, someone random. You're like random. Okay, the axe might be hard. The axe might make it difficult for a random. So there is something. Okay, cool. There is something there that could pull you back towards your cats. I'm trying to find what that's what that sweet spot is. It's like, okay, so it's the axe. I'm also imagining like a healthy young person. Not that health has anything to it. I mean, you can't have everything to do. You can't put like a nine. Yeah, someone is on the brink of death. You can't do that. You can't do that. Okay, that's just bad faith hypothetical. Yeah. Oh, we was actually a 90-year-old person with one week left. So that was looking me with the murder. Yeah, bro. That's bad faith hypothetical. Nice, you just saved a murderer who actually murdered your entire family. And now they're going to kill you because you didn't stop them. Don't ever play hypotheticals with me, bro. No, yeah. But okay. All right, nice guys. Yeah, it's been an hour. Thanks for listening. Out of character. Put yourself something before it's all gone. See ya. Another podcast from some SNL late night comedy guy, not quite on humor me with Robert Smigel and Friends. Me and hilarious guests from Bob Odin Kirk to David Letterman helped make you funnier. This week my guest, SNL's Mikey Day and head writer, Streeter Side L, helped an Acapella band with their between songs banter. Listen to humor me with Robert Smigel and Friends on the I Heart Radio app, Apple Podcasts or wherever you get your podcasts. All right, so if you'd tell me about how we started this story. She's faked a medical emergency. To find out how it ends, listen to the Okay Storytime podcast on the I Heart Radio app, Apple Podcasts or wherever you get your podcasts. A win is a win. A win is a win. I don't care which I'll say. Yep, that's me, Clifford Taylor the fourth. Well now I'm bringing all of that excitement to my brand new podcast, The Clifford Show. This is a place for raw unfills or conversations with athletes, creators and voices that not only deserve to be heard, but celebrated. So let's get to it. Listen to The Clifford Show on the I Heart Radio app, Apple Podcasts or wherever you get your podcasts. Guaranteed Human.