#162 - Stupid Questions Only

Guys, before we get into the show, I have something really exciting to tell you. Very soon, we're going to be doing a special book club episode of Smosh Mouth. And we're going to be doing it around a book that's coming up tomorrow, September 22nd, called Hollywood Ending by John Green. Whoa, that's so fun. And guess who our guest is going to be on this episode. I'm going to guess. It's John Green. That is right. It is going to be the author of Hollywood Ending, John Green. Author of also Fault in Our Stars, Turtles All the Way Down, and Looking for Alaska. And Paper Towns. But here's the thing. Hollywood Ending is going to be his first adult novel. And his first book in nine years. That's right. So it's going to be a big deal. What does that mean? We're going to read the book, prepare some questions, have an in-depth discussion, and whatever else happens in a book club. I don't really know. Oh, well, maybe we have some snacks and a little bit of tea. Sure. And John can maybe answer some of our questions. Exactly. And he might answer some of your questions. We want you to be part of the book club, so read along with us and submit discussion questions, thought starters, and unfiltered reactions to our community section on the SmoshCast YouTube channel. We'll look through your submissions there, and we'll pick some to read with John in a few weeks. Yes. Please submit your questions so that we can all be a part of this book club. And hey, maybe we'll all eat snacks. You guys eat snacks at home, and we'll eat snacks here, right? Who knows what we're going to do? Can we have snacks? Yeah. It's a book club. We have to have tea and snacks. We're going to have whatever John Green asks for. Paper. Yeah. Wow. I'm so excited. You will have until October 9th to go to the community section. Give us any of your thought starters, your questions, your reactions, and we might read them here on the show with John Green. So stay tuned. Go pick up Hollywood Ending at your local bookstore and read that bad boy, because we're going to. Because we're going to. And we're going to talk about it. That's right. And we're going to have snacks. All right. And Amanda will bring snacks. I can't wait. It's going to be so fun. What do you think John likes for snacks? I think he's sustained on knowledge. Wow. Yeah. Yummy. Anyways, back to the show. Back to the show. Hello, Mike Cech. My name is Damien Haas. I am over 18 to play older, and I will be auditioning for the role of dead body number two. Good. Sounds great. Could you imagine playing a dead body? It'd be kind of fun. Actually, it'd probably not be fun at all. I don't think it would be fun at all. I think it would be terrible. That's pretty awful. Hello. Welcome to Smosh Mouth. I'm Shane. Hello. I'm Amanda, and we have a wonderful guest joining us today. His name is Damien Haas. Hello. Joining you from stage and screen, my name is Damien Haas, and I'm grateful to be here with you on this program. Grateful to have you on this program. Program. Program. Program. Damien, thank you so much. Absolutely. I feel so underdressed. What are you talking about? Y'all look fantastic. Dude, this shirt's incredible. I just decided to dress up. I'm wearing an all linen black dress. And it's my favorite thing ever. Y'all are wearing very elegant black clothes. You are the front cover of a fashion magazine's funeral edition. And you're like, how to slay when they've been slaying. Wallace and Gromit me into the closet, and I bounce back out. So happy that you're here. I'm so happy to be here. Your hair is getting so long. Thank you. My goodness. Do you have a goal? No. I think, you know what happened was I noticed, well, first of all, after dying my hair, I'm like, I've been dying my hair for years. It got a little wispy. So I'm like, I gotta just let it heal. Yeah, you're growing it. And it looks nice and healthy. Thank you very much. Yeah, it's very long. Are you going to get it to a point where you can braid it? It's pretty long. Yeah, you could braid it. It is pretty long. I could probably braid it. I don't foresee myself going much longer than this, just because sensory-wise, that sounds like a nightmare. When I was a teenager and I had hair pretty long for a bit, I remember it started to bother me so much. I hated it. I hated it. And also, I hated the way my hair looked. My hair grew out. It didn't, it doesn't look good. You have to get past the, I call it the mushroom of despair. Yes, and I had it real bad. Oh, I call it the kindergarten teacher. Oh, wow. Yeah. So when my hair's growing out, like I've cut my hair up to here. Whoa. Oh, really short. Like a really tight bob. Pretty much. Yeah. It wasn't like a bob, but it was like, it was really short. And the growing out part, I just look like a sweet little kindergarten teacher. I don't like it. Sorry. There's probably some hot kindergarten teachers out there, but let me tell you. Oh, yeah, for sure. It was not me. And that's today's Smosh Mouth. Top 10 hot kindergarten teachers. Have you ever looked back on like your school, like elementary school yearbooks and stuff and you see your teachers and like, I didn't realize how hot my teacher was. Damn. My second grade teacher was hot as hell. I had no idea. I had no hot teachers. Oh, no. I had female hot teachers. Male? Oh, well, no. No. They're all very, no. I had, I had, looking, looking back at some of them, I was like, oh, my God. Oh, my God. I didn't realize it was so hot. Yeah. I had one teacher that was like very, very pretty. And I, she was very friendly with another like teacher whenever the classes would meet up and it'd be like field day and it'd be like, oh, they're doing like a funny routine together. I'm like, now as an adult, I'm like, they were fucking. You're doing a routine together? Yeah. It's like, oh, it's a funny thing for the kids. They're doing a backflip routine. Whoa. She's like, he's holding her like in the middle and then they are, he's on his back. It's so crazy. Oh, wow. She's shouting. She's in pain. I have to help her. What is this? I have to stop this. This routine is not going well. Amanda, what was that? That was me performing your routine. That was so accurate and scary. Is that what you saw? No. No, that's not at all. I want to yes hand you. That's crazy. I did have a, I had an insane crush on my math teacher in middle school. And let me guess, this is how you handled it. Well. Amanda's making the gym helper face. No, I wasn't going to do anything about it. I did. I was smart enough to be like, well, yeah, she's much older than me. And she's my teacher. So this is probably, probably not going to work out. But I was like, oh my God. Smitten? Oh yeah. No. How many apples did you give Shane? Every day. How many apples? And I was, and she'd be like, okay, so you've given me five apples in the past five days. How many apples is that? And I'm like, I don't know. I don't know. She's like, and subtract that. And I was like, I love you. I love you. This is why I love you. No, I remember, I remember like all the other, like my friends and stuff were talking about like other girls. And I was like, yeah. Yeah, for sure. But I was, she was. But Mrs. Commanderson. Mrs. Commanderson. I've got my eye on a more mature lady. I was losing my mind. Whoa. Yeah. I don't think I've ever talked about that. No, that was my. You haven't. That was like my first, I was like. Spring Awakening. I am crushing. Whoa. I was like, she is the hottest. Brunette? Blonde? I think she had like. Before you get a description. Go on. I'm going to guess 82 years old. No. She was not 82. No. I actually recall, I'm trying to remember, she definitely had like a lot of like, like gray or white. Like gray or white in her hair though. Like, I don't remember, but she was, she was hot. Okay. And she was, she did at one point in class, she was like, yeah, I used to do some modeling when I was younger. And I was like. And you were like, of course. And I was like, of course you did, dude. Of course you did. So she could be like. Hard to imagine you even more younger and beautiful than you are right now, Mrs. Commanderson. Of course, like you could model right now, Mrs. Commanderson. You should model. Do you have any, you know, modeling pictures? So. So do you. Just like a signed headshot would be fine. Yeah. All right. Wow. Yeah. He's done with that. You were really a grave robber, huh? Jesus Christ. He didn't do anything. It's the opposite of a cradle robber. I don't know. She probably, she could have been in her thirties or forties with grays. I actually do not think, I think she was in her forties. I really do. I think she just like had some like, some like gray and, and she was legitimately a very attractive person. Wow. Like, I'm not saying like, oh, it was like wild that I had it. Like she was hot. Yeah. I've never heard you say that. That's awesome. Wow. Yeah. It's just true. Anyways, today. He's so ready to move on. Anyways, so yeah, moving on. He's ready to move on from five minutes ago. Today, this episode is a safe space where no question is too stupid. That's, that's the theme. We have a bowl filled with questions here that were submitted by our crew here at Smosh. A few on stupid questions. From the Reddit. No stupid questions. But yeah, so we're going to, we're going to look at these. We're going to answer them to our best ability. Yeah. No judgment. We're going to answer them. And if we have any stupid questions. If we have any stupid questions ourselves, we are free to ask at any point. All my questions are great. You know what? That's why I didn't bring any because I don't have any stupid questions. I'm just also really smart. Really smart. Joking aside, I do love living in an age where we can just sort of Google stuff and look things up. And every once in a while when I'm like, I'll drop a little fact, people are like, why do you know that? I'm like, cause it got brought up and I looked it up and that's all it takes. Can I say though, I feel like it's gotten, I feel like it's gotten harder now though. Like there was a period. There was a period of time where the internet, you truly could Google it and you get the source and you got it like, Oh, here's a.gov or a.edu immediately. And now you Google shit and you're hit with a bunch of AI bullshit. The Google Gemini thing. And I'm like, now, now when people are like, Google is free. I'm like, yeah. And I don't trust it all the time. I don't trust it. Cause I Google, I'll literally like look up. It'll be like, Oh, Shane Top birthplace. Like Shane Top was born in Los Angeles, California. I'm like, that's wrong. So I'm like, if you're wrong about that, how do I trust you about it? More than half the facts online are literally wrong about me. Like literally. More than half the facts. Yeah. They're like, Oh, Amanda's husband is a Belarusian model or some, some kind of, there was some crazy fact about him. And I was like, to a degree, but I also do like the information is out there. Like I can, you can really dig and like find it much easier than back in the day. So yes, but there's so many, there's like kind of more existential questions where it's not like a fact, you know what I mean? It's kind of more like, why does this happen? Yeah. Like what's the deal? This episode of Smosh Mouth is sponsored by Smalls. So I had this thought, I think it's time for Bernie and bones to be cat influencers that's great because they can tell me what's up every time we have friends over they comment on how well my cats eat and that their coats are so shiny so do you have some secret formula or no not at all i would never gatekeep smalls smalls fresh cat food is protein packed recipes made with preservative free 100 human grade ingredients you'd find in your fridge and it's delivered right to your door and because they aren't eating junk their hydration is improved they're sustaining energy thanks to the protein and they have fewer hairballs your cats deserve the best i'm already feeling influenced and 88 of cat owners reported overall health improvements and here's the thing my cats can be very picky when it comes to food but when it comes to smalls they're freaks for that they lose their minds i'm i'm holding them at bay when i'm trying to get the the food into their bowls like bones birdie relax whoa okay yeah you've seriously convinced me i'm switching to smalls so stop serving your little carnivore a bowl of processed shortcuts for a limited time because you are a smosh mouth listener get 60 off your first order plus free shipping and free treats for life when you head to smalls.com slash smosh mouth that's 60 off your first order plus free shipping and free treats for life when you head to smalls.com slash smosh mouth back to the show meow should i dive in please so we have if you're just listening we have a beautiful bowl that selena made and she cut out little papers that makes me feel really good point of order the bowl i believe was purchased uh it is a plastic fish bowl yeah it's a plastic fish bowl but selena cut up the answer she made those yeah thank you no problem okay this is from anders anders is in the games department we love anders very much it's true okay here's here's his no stupid question if you were to play against actual athletes of a sport what is the youngest age you think you'd stand a chance against example middle school basketball players all the way up to professional or olympic basketball players etc oh my god i'm getting schooled by middle schoolers literally they are they're gonna crush me especially ones that are like super well here's also the problem yeah here's also the problem people think like oh i'll crush middle schoolers their endurance they have little they have little kid endurance yeah i know they're not little kids but like yes the the energy that you have when you're 12 they can run all day they can run all day they can run all day they can run all day yep they don't get tired nope yeah i don't think there is if someone is devoting themselves to a sport i don't think there is an age that i can beat outside of like peewee league something and just because like their limbs can't run that fast at all like that's middle schoolers would kick my ass elementary i'm thinking of like an elementary school baseball team little league they'd still probably kick my ass simply because of energy and endurance and they're focused on it and like it's not like okay you know i'm okay at this thing i probably can't hit a ball for shit i can't i've never really played baseball so i'm probably not gonna hit anything t-ball maybe okay you didn't oh yeah i was pitcher i played softball i loved playing softball i did so maybe i could i did martial arts as my sport in like elementary school thanks and i but that's the thing like i always say i was because like i was a second degree black belt but looking at myself now i'm like my limbs are a different size i'm hurt because i woke up weird like muscle memory damien muscle memory okay then i could probably beat up a kid and we're back to that all right yeah so yeah we could beat up we could beat up children if they spawn every 30 seconds we kind of all agree though middle schoolers they could probably kick our ass oh yeah well they're also if if anyone is practicing a sport weekly they're gonna beat me at it of course i'm not i'm not versed enough in anything do you remember how much we did in middle school you literally woke up at the ass crack of dawn just go you were aggressively forced out of your bed by any parent who was like come on i'm serious get out you had to chase your sister's car down the street to try to get in it that part no what yeah and then you get to school you have hours of school your lunch kind of sucks yeah and then maybe you have like an after-school program or you have a sport yeah all night and then you have homework it sucks it is crazy to think that like i did think about that the other day that your day was wrapped by like 2 30 or 3 or whatever in in high school we were like today if i'm done with something by 3 p.m i'm like oh i have a whole day in front of me like god we didn't know what we had no it was so much so middle schoolers are committed so yeah it's got to be it's got to be close to kindergarten for me to beat them at anything is beyblade a sport but that's luck beyblade i disagree i think there's more skill at conventions sometimes people bring up like beyblades and arena things where they're like hey i want to like say hi and like can you can we do like a round and i'm not you know not for nothing i have yet to lose whoa i have yet to lose explain to me what the f a beyblade is your it's tops it's a battle like spinning top you spin your top they spin their top and they're like swords well like people are coming up for your bay can i have a couple rounds it's my girlfriend's blade beyblade even outside of sports like it was very sobering for me when my 10 year old niece and nephew um beat me at mario kart and like i legitimately could not beat them and i was like this is they're like laughing they're laughing in my face and i'm like you have no idea this is like an existential crisis for me sad i tried not too long ago to play some of the games on like super nintendo that i grew up with yeah and i remember like beating and getting to whatever level like i couldn't do it at all like sometimes as a kid what you are like immersed in you just have so much time like i was putting in time do you know what they couldn't beat me at what people skills try me middle schoolers go talk to a stranger and ask if you can park there go talk to a stranger go where's that where's the restaurant oh my god i'm so sorry it's 6 p.m i know happy hour just ended but like can we just it's 605 actually you know what i could beat try me i love that i could beat a lot of people i think a lot of people but mostly any any kid anyone under the age of 18 i'd be like it's a game of patience get rid of everything we're gonna sit here we're gonna go to a park we're gonna sit at a park bench and we're gonna sit here you would win i would win i think i could say go five minutes and they go they lose their minds they'd start foaming at the mouth they wouldn't know what to do and you go this is the most peaceful i've been ever i fully think i could do it of course yeah i think i could win a game of name the highest number if they go first here's what what if they answer they go they go a googleplex googleplex plus one fuck this is so googleplex times two don't want to grab the the next question oh you know we'll go clockwise come on guest clockwise more like clock dumb these are fun let's see here uh this is from anonymous crew whoa oh could be anybody anonymous is an art department yeah maybe pretty cool uh the question is should i get bangs um depends how close are you to a breakup i was about to say that that's amazing what are you out of a breakup right now i don't get it what's the joke the joke is that if when a woman gets bangs it's because she's about to go through a breakup i don't even miss michael and you're like your bangs actually what i literally get bangs what i have heard is when they when a girl gets bangs or when someone gets bangs it's because they're about to go through a big life change they need a big life change whoa i get bangs all the time yeah well you're just kind of constantly changing i am constantly changing i enjoy change no you break the mold i do let me say this about bangs though if you want to get bangs get ready to style them pretty much every day and if you want to keep them that length get ready to have haircut bang haircuts every month it's really frustrating it's tough yes my bit of advice is when you do it if you do it make sure it's really late at night you do it on a whim and you have you can only find those like fiskers craft scissors that you and you can just do it yourself and it's gonna be great one thing and then do this and have them be tiny and yeah i was gonna say then you correct it you just you just even it out and then you even at the other side and then you'll have micro bangs which looks good on everyone damien how much money would it cost for you to to get micro bangs you can't buy me you can't buy me i would never get micro bangs you had amanda style micro bangs you had these little bangs and the two braids oh my god i look like that fucking dwarf from the hobbit whichever one you know the exact one yes i do no thank you okay i don't think there's a i will give you 10 million dollars and you have to have micro bangs for the next two years oh god 10 million dollars you could do a lot with 10 million but also i mean come on but your dignity is gone i'm just kidding yeah i'll have micro bangs and like well am i in charge of like what's in the back half of my hair you you are in charge of the back half shaved head micro yeah yeah you know what yeah like pinky ring velour suits like i'm just gonna go full on he's an artist of some kind yeah that's a dj if you have little bangs in your hair i would be like all right isn't that just like the 90s like caesar cut or whatever from for men kind of it was a little bit different i think so you look great now shane on the other hand if he had micro bangs he would look like a little girl oh yeah it's okay i agree like you wouldn't i don't think you'd be able to pull it i don't think i could pull off a lot of haircuts i've talked to a lot of hairstylists i'm like i'm like what haircuts could look good on me and they're they're like you know what you should - Pull off? - Modern mother. - Like an awesome shaved head. I have not small not like a two yeah I have I do think about shaving my head a lot how that would look because I'm like because it's either it looks really good or it's just like oh shit if I do it it doesn't look good but I'm kind of like I'm going to save that for later when my hair is like really like my hairline's going back or whatever like when I'm older like when I'm in my 40s maybe I'll do the shaved head look have you ever had like extremely short hair when I was a kid my hair my hair was really short but not ever I've never had a shaved head I've never seen what that looks like because I've learned like when I was a teenager I had a mostly shaved head for a theater thing I was doing but I've got a really big mole right here and a little bit of a kabump right here it's not the most flattering bald head shape oh that's what I'm worried about I'm like what if I don't have a good bald head you gotta like you gotta like do a little topography map of your head and see what you've got going on I know I'm like what if it's that is like probably the only other look that I would be like I'd be curious you should shave your head and then grow out your beard I'd have a huge beard oh cool some biking shit do the Henry Cavill beard style where it's like longer down here shorter on the sides and it like chisels the face you're like we have one from Kandra who's like our talent liaison here at Smosh why is the area behind your knee not called knee pits courtesy of my seven year old who was then five when they asked this question knee pits wait that's so cute I don't actually know what they are what are they called I've thought of them as knee pits before and if someone said knee pits I would know exactly what you meant that is true all I know is don't touch the back of it I don't want to be touched in my knee pit I agree I think it should be called knee pit I agree although it sounds a little bit like a knee pit I just say back of the knee it sounds like a screamo band knee pit knee pit doesn't it okay it sounds like you're gonna neep it in the butt you're gonna neep it in the butt nice I'm not sure you don't have that flower you're gonna neep it in the butt anyone knows what it's called actually no one did I mean it's just the medical term yeah what's the medical term popliteal fossa I've never heard of popliteal fossa of course I just know it's where my hammy meets the calves hammy meets the calves yeah wow well I actually think that we should call it knee pit I like it okay great so actually not even a stupid question you've given us guidance in our life you've given us help thank you Kendra alright let's get another question Kendra Seeker Flame nice this is from Rachel she's all over the tours she's killing it what happened to Blackberry's the phone oh I was ready to talk about the fruit oh yeah that was was it Motorola or was it no yeah it was Motorola right that was like your first business phone I feel like the monopoly of Apple just kind of like squeezed other things out well yeah I mean I think Blackberry was the thing that you aspired to cause it's like oh you have Palm Pilots and then oh it's super cool that you can get a Blackberry and then I had a Blackberry too because it came with the phone plan and I think once that fell off in popularity and either iPhone or you know Android based devices took over like Blackberry came back they tried yeah I think Apple just took over and also I feel like Blackberry I was like oh this person's working this is a business person yeah it didn't have like to me like the coolest the problem is they didn't anything that wasn't quick to the game I mean I'm talking like I know I'm an idiot who doesn't know this shit it could be stupid answers too but I felt like it was like you know the smartphone build everyone fell in love with that shit and apps and everything started to speed into social media and the Blackberry wasn't designed for that it had all the buttons and everything it had so many little buttons but I loved my Blackberry I loved I had the Razer then I had the Blackberry oh nice I was kind of late to the iPhone I was too and I was reluctant I only got iPhone when I started working at Smosh Games back in the Defy days because I would be doing conventions and stuff and there'd be important things to post or whatever and people would be like let me airdrop it and I'm like I don't have that and then I'd miss group chats because people were like we don't want the green text and you know that's more social engineering than anything else but yeah I mean it worked I get it I do miss those buttons though because I I miss type things so often that I have anxiety dreams almost every single night last night included about really needing to type something in either get someone a message or type in an address or like I need to go somewhere and it's wrong every time and I keep backspacing it and I try it again and I can't and also when I had my thumb surgery like last year my thumb doesn't go the distance I thought it like it doesn't the muscle memory is wrong doesn't go the distance so I keep typing things wrong still it drives me nuts maybe you need a flip phone oh yeah and an iPhone oh two phones you need a burner phone two phones yeah I think that'll totally solve all your problems I love analog anything like I really love it I still drive like a car that is from before the era of like smart car stuff same and I love everything is a knob or a button in my car and I love it so much me too I got a newer car recently and that's the one thing where I'm like why does why is there no button for this thing like what do you mean I have to tap on a screen I'm driving like I don't want to I hate it too I absolutely hate it I like the old school yeah I want to have to wind up my vehicle to take you to a talkie talkie at first I thought Rachel was going to say what happened to Blackberry is like she doesn't know that they're around still I know but then she wrote I was going to be like I got good news you can find them phone they're delicious all right Damien hit us all right this one is from Benny ah one of the nicest humans you'll ever meet Benny is the sweetest Benny is the office hype man that makes you feel good but also editor he's also always on the move on the move he is on a journey I swear he's running everywhere he's always running I saw him he goes hey man how's it going and then he's running I saw him run up the stairs here with a speed that is greater than I think I can sprint on flat land yeah yeah yeah wow I don't know how he did it I think he might be able to fly and he's just being like coy about it yeah the first time I ever met him I heard a whoosh of air and I turned around and I went and my hair flew forward and I turned around and he goes hey man how's it going I'm Benny it's nice to meet you and I was like where did you come from have we considered that perhaps he is Hermes the Greek possibly perhaps he is Hermes the messenger anyways go on I love that shout out Benny why do people turn down the radio to see better in the car oh why oh that's so that is the most vulnerable question we've gotten so far and why is it so when I see like traffic or like you know construction I literally turn down the radio I guess maybe I do do that I haven't thought about this is it maybe just to like help focus like you're just trying to like I think that's what it is for me like if I'm driving someone the hardest thing in the world it's not just the radio like if they're telling a story and it's like oh my god and then dude so you know what he said I have to like as politely as possible be like hey I'm so give me a second I'm trying to merge like it's but it seems like the same thing like you're splitting attention so I am not good at splitting attention at all this makes me think about whenever I'm trying to write a message if I'm texting someone if I'm writing an email or something I cannot have any other dialogue going on around me or else I literally cannot write a sentence out do you do this with your partner I don't know if you do this but it's like an unknown nice thing that me and my husband do that if we're texting someone so we're having a conversation or whatever and it's like oh I'm gonna text someone I don't continue the conversation I let him text but I like that's not a universal thing people will be like you'll be texting them like yeah so anyways and you're trying to finish the text and they'll still continue the yeah can I ask maybe a stupid question then no please what's the polite way to communicate that if like sometimes I'll go like hey I'm just gonna like if they're talking I'll just be like hey so sorry I'm just gonna send a text real quick they'll be like oh for sure you got it so the other day I was gonna like if people launch a story and that's just that person what's the polite way to be like no I meant shush but I don't know how to say that nicely well that's what I'm saying with H&I it's an unknown thing of like when you're texting someone well I'm not saying necessarily with a partner I'm just saying in general just in general is there a polite way to be like I'm saying that it doesn't always translate because people don't always I think it's okay to be like I'm so sorry I can't like I'm not gonna remember anything you're saying right now I would say hold on one second let me just send this real quick just I have to send this real quick hold on one second yeah meaning like shh yeah hold on shush one second if they keep do you just like snap and go like hey I go to the bathroom and I send it there okay if I know if I go this person you know what this isn't they're not programmed this way it's all good I'm just gonna go oh man I gotta go pee it depends on the type of message it depends on the type of message I'm sending to if I'm texting someone casually if it's not important then I'm like I'm kinda like ah this is low stakes but if I'm like writing an email like a professional email or I'm getting back to somewhere I'm like I might need to go somewhere which is hard really do this now that we have iPhones it's like are you sending a professional email are you just looking at Instagram it can be both I still really struggle like I'm not always the best at getting back to people but it's partially too because like when I'm messaging people or something like I'm very intentional about it and I'm like I don't like to just send a message off and be like okay now and then I get a text back and I'm like well now I'm here now I'm having a conversation because people have access to you all the time now and it's tough if I'm writing you a text I know I'm available for a little bit of time you know what I mean I keep people on read because I'm like I'm not available to respond directly or do a back and forth to this again with my sisters we can respond back in like days it's not like it's not a but I'm with you. Like I, I don't just go, but if I need to send someone something like, Oh, I need to remember to say this to them. I will send it off. Yeah. Yeah. Even if I'm not available. I think if anyone has known me for any period of time and we are texting, it's probably understood that it's going to take a minute for me to get back. Even if I send something right away. Cause usually it's like send running to the thing. Like I actually love like knowing that about people and I respect people like that. Cause I know there's so many people that I text and I'm like, I will hear back from them in a couple of days. Yep. Because I'm like, yeah, they probably saw it and they, it's not that they don't care about it. It's that they're like when they respond, they want to respond thoughtfully, but it's tough. Yeah. This episode of Smosh Mouth is sponsored by Wayfair. We've been asking a lot of stupid questions today, but you know, what's not a stupid question asking me where I buy my furniture. Shane, where do you buy your furniture? So glad you asked Amanda. I get my furniture from Wayfair. Of course that makes so much sense because Wayfair, gives you access to thousands of products for every style and every budget. And with more than 20 million verified five-star reviews, I'm able to shop with confidence. Plus Wayfair rewards members get 5% back on every purchase. I've been in the process of updating my kitchen and I really needed a new dining table. Our old one wasn't the right shape and it didn't really fit in the space correctly. Wayfair made it really easy to search on their website and use their filters. I could pick the style, shape, color and dimension of my new table. Oh, and Halloween is right around the corner and I need decorations and they also have that. Transform your space with pieces that hold up to real life. Join Wayfair rewards today and get 5% back on every purchase. Head to wayfair.com or shop the Wayfair app for all things home. That's W-A-Y-F-A-I-R.com. And now back to the show. Anyways, we went on a whole journey there. Thank you Benny. No stupid journey. That was a, that was very funny. Only stupid destinations. I can picture Benny asking it. So, so, so, so I'm in it real quick, real quick. If you're driving, why do you have to turn down the, I always wonder this. Now that's, that's more of like an Angela character that you're doing. That's Angela in that, no, he, he gives you high fives. Every single time I see him. He goes like this, he goes, he goes, yeah, he'll do the fist bump all the time. I think Benny's more of like a soft spoken guy. We're like, he's not, he's not necessarily out of breath. He's just, he's just, he's just, he doesn't make smart decisions. That's what I was thinking. Be good. Hey, be smart. But it's also like kind of raspy and a little like. I see that. Well, he's always running. But I think it's also from like the smoothness. Like he's found, he's found a calmness. Like even though he's running, he has found a calmness within himself. He's unbothered. True. And he truly, when he's asking how you're doing, he really wants to know how you're doing. He really is a very intentional person. He's a good person. What did you read? And here's the thing. We have another question from Benny. Oh, my favorite. Let's go. The Benny hour continues. And Benny asks, why are they called self-help books if they're written by other people? Damn. Banger after banger after banger, Benny. That is a, hey, valid. Also, I read an interesting article about self-help books recently about how. Oh, no. If you look, not necessarily like they're bad or whatever. It's just, if you look back throughout the decades at self-help books at the times they're written, I'm not going to have good person, like specific references, but they are indicators of like societal struggle and hardships at the time, right? Like, so, so, well, it's like, you look at the eras when it's like, oh, think and become rich. And all these things came at financial crises times. Yeah. When people are strapped for cash. So it's kind of like this, like, oh, wait, there's a way to get money. Why need I like when people are in this. And right now we see a lot of like atomic habits, a lot of things where it's like in an era where it's so hard to keep track of everything. And it's, like, when was this era? You're a badass girl. You're badass. Just smell the flowers. Like, stop what you're doing and do it. Just do it. That's Tumblr. It was also, I love those. It was like, uh, the art of not giving a fuck. Like it, they come at times where you can see that societally people are struggling with certain things, which is not to say that the books don't help, but it's that they are. Yeah. It's kind of like correlation or causation, right? It's like people are here because we're all, do you guys read self-help books? Um, I, every once in a while I'll read something like philosophy related that's could be applied to self-help, but I don't really trust like I'm Jimmy Johnson, the speaker that tells you how to be just like Jimmy Johnson. You know what I mean? I, um, I'll read anything, right? Like I will read anything and I'll sometimes even read something even if I think it's dumb because I'm like interested, whatever. I, um, I take a lot of it with a grain of salt. Um, I think it's so funny cause I get served a lot of stuff on Instagram where it's, it's so many dudes on the internet. The only books they talk about are the same like five books and it's like the, the 48 laws of power, atomic habits. And it's all what I realized a lot of it is I'm like, what is your intention with reading these books? And it seems like a lot of it is just for a sense of control over their life. Right. And I'm like, that's not necessarily like I think every book, so many books could be self-help books, even fiction, right? Cause it's all like in broadening your horizons and stuff. There's stories and lessons. And all that. But a lot of times people are reading books. This is, this is my own personal, just kind of like opinion. This is not any sort of valid thing, but people are already, they're reading books, especially self-help books that are already in line with like their character and like how they view life. So I'm like, are you really like challenging yourself here? Is it just, it's more of like a, someone being like, you're on the right path. Remember that thing that you thought I, I actually, there are some self-help books that I love, but I'm very picky and picky with my self-help books. Like the way they write, how, how I'm being spoken to. But I love like, kind of like Buddhist self-help books are really good. Like more like I, I like more spiritual. Yeah. Like I, I will say I did read like almost every Eckhart Tolle book when it first came out. Um, I was really into those. I really like books that are about perspective. Cause that's something that you can really think about, but like, I've only read a couple, I've read a couple of financial ones and I'm just like, in this day and age, fuck you. Like, I'm just kind of like, and the advice is there's no advice. I'm like, what is, what is the advice? Tell me, how do I think and become rich? And it's like, okay. It's like, Hey, save up, save up money. I'm like, what money do people have to save up, man? Like it was the Susie Orman sketch on SNL with Kristen wig, where she's like, okay, number one tip, you're going to want to empty out your savings. Take all $10,000 in there and start putting them into smaller accounts. Call your dad, like have him send over some money. I mean, people believe really writing, yourself a check. Like people really believe. And, and Hey, I think it's a mindset. I think it can be both. I think it falls apart when it becomes a financial aspect. Cause there is so much that's out of your control, but I do firmly believe that you sort of wire your brain to think and feel a certain way when you continually react to different stimuli in a certain way. Sure. You know, letting yourself be upset, but continuing forward, you're going to have a more like perseverance based mindset as opposed to you know, whatever. But I mean, getting back to the books, like, I don't know. I feel like in this day and age, it's hard for me to sit down with a specific book by a specific person. Yeah. But yeah, I did the autism workbook. I mean, I'm like, that's cool. That's cool. Which is fun. Where it's like, how do you deal with shit? What triggers you? What's helpful. And like, that's a workbook though. Yeah. But I think that that to me is truly like less self help, some self work book. Right. Um, and I've a few books that I've read that, I would consider like anytime I read anything in the realm of psychology, I'm like, that's to me, like understanding other people's perspectives is more important than how do I make myself more efficient? Right. Like, um, Michio Kaku is about to drop a financial banger. Yeah. Um, I, I read, um, yeah, I read a book called, uh, I read a book called unmasking autism. That was really great. And I remember like, that was incredible for me because, and I read it and I want to read more because like, you know, whenever we're doing Reddit stories and stuff in any, anything possibly comes up where it's like, oh, this, this person in this story might be autistic or on the spectrum or, or OCD, whatever. And I'm, I really, even though I studied it in college, I don't know a lot about all that stuff. And it changes. We know a lot. So much comes out every year and so many perspectives are so different from even 10 years ago that I'm like, oh, I really want to keep up on this so that I can like have some understanding, a normal human understanding, not a professional understanding. - And then unmasking autism, like there was some stuff I saw in there where I was like, no, no. - Yeah, sure. - You know? So yeah, it's just, you take from it what you can't. So I guess my answer about the books is it's self-help in the same way that buying tools is DIY. - Nice. - You didn't make the hammer. - Yeah. And I guess to, to your point about with that is like to continue, no book can be like your like doctrine, right? Like you, you read a book and you go, okay, great. Like, and you gotta keep. - Well, there is one book that has guided my life. - Well, I. - And that's Aragorn. - That's right. - All right. - Okay. - Benny making us wax poetic over here. - Okay. This is from Jay. Jay's in graphics, graphics department. "What's considered wet? "Would pancakes with a thick syrup be considered wet? "Or a saucy pizza? "Pasta? "Where do we draw the line?" - Ooh, that's a. - This is such a good question. - 'Cause greasy isn't like, that's, that's different from wet. - Let me just say, I don't want to think. - Yeah. I think of my food as wet. I think wet is more specifically water-based for me. It doesn't have to be, but like, I know it's not everyone's favorite word, but like, I know it's not everyone's favorite word, but if it's syrup, like, oh, they're covered in syrup. My pancakes are super moist. I don't see them as wet. Like, I think that's more sticky. Like, that's a syrupy. Sticky, saucy. I would say saucy. We're talking like these non-Newtonian fluids or whatever. Because, yeah, spaghetti's not wet. That's sauce. That's saucy. It's all sauced up. Agreed. But a sauce can be kind of like the more liquidy in consistency, like how thick. Wet is soup. Wet is soup, but even soup I wouldn't say is wet because it is the wet. I kind of agree. But I like a thick soup, too. So what's considered wet? To me, wet is not something you're eating. Wet is something that's not supposed to be covered in water. Soup is not wet, but if you spill soup on the table, all the table's all wet. So how does that work? I don't know. I mean, it's location. It's trippy. Location, location, location. It's kind of true, though. A lot of food cannot be covered in water and still be good. Except for, like, fruit is fine by me. Like, I'll wash fruit, and, like, I don't care if it's, like, kind of still covered in water. Yeah, I don't mind. It's a little refreshing. Like, it's refreshing. Like, biting into an apple, getting a little bit of water. This is such a random story, but my Tia growing up made the same dessert every Christmas. And me and my sister would be like, and she'd always be sitting by it, so you'd have to go say hi to her, buy her dessert. And so you'd always have to, like, go, like, okay, go talk to Tia Candida. All right. What was the dessert? It is wet. It is literally fruit in a can, but she doesn't rinse it. So it's canned fruit, a bunch of canned fruit, and she just pours it in a bowl, like a gorgeous crystal bowl. So it's, like, it's all the wet. So it's like an ambrosia salad, but an ambrosia soup. So it's literally all the soup, and then she would put chocolate chips in it. Okay, so she's kind of not doing shit. No. I'm sorry. That's kind of, she bought some cans and threw them in a bowl. Yes, and if you ever were divorced or not married, she would strike you down. But her dessert was literally, like, canned, so it was all wet. And the main course is Totino's pizza rolls. It was just wet fruit with chocolate chips, and you'd always have, and my mom would go, get dessert. Go get dessert and go talk to Tia. And she didn't speak a lick of English, only Portuguese. And so you'd go, and you'd have the same conversation every year, like, yes. And you'd be 16, and it was like, I'm not married. I'm not married yet, but I will eat this dessert. So wet fruit to me is all to say. How old was she? She has passed, but also she had the most beautiful skin. She had a long, long white hair, like, down to her butt, that she would tie up in a little bun. White, gorgeous, like, porcelain skin with, like, dark features. So this is a siren. You're describing a siren. She was a siren. I think she was a ghost. She might still be alive. I don't know. My mom says she passed. You said she passed. Now you're saying she might be alive. I don't know. She exists forever. I don't know. I don't know. She exists forever, everywhere. Okay. Next to wet fruit. But she, yeah, she's the kind of person, you go over to her house, and she has, like, a thousand pictures of you from, you don't even know when that picture was taken. She has bowls of candy that you don't know how long they've been out. Is she a person, or is she a curse upon your family? She might be a curse upon my family. Yeah, what is this? But anyways, wet fruit. Okay. But see that, you didn't like that fruit, and it's unusual for it to be that wet. So the fruit is wet. Yeah, yeah. That sucks. It'd be different. Like, there would be a name for it. Yeah. Yeah, so I don't like wet when it comes to food. Yeah, same. I have a stupid question. I have to give credit. No stupid questions. I have a normal question during this episode only. Okay. I saw this online, so forgive me whoever came up with it. I apologize. I don't know the name. But it was a post about, like, why don't we have nicknames for water? Like, the most drinkable thing that we all drink, whatever. It's like, there's no, like, I want to have a cup of wet. Well, you do. You do, yeah. But I say that because that was part of that post. Wawa. Agua. Some agua. Agua, but that's just a different language. And wawa is a baby word. But I mean, like, you wouldn't ask your friend, like, want a cup of wawa? But you might be like, can I get you a Coke? Or like, do you want some pop when you need soda? Because water is classic. You can't change its name. It can't have a nickname. It's like the Bible. Do you want to grab some sips? You wouldn't say, you want to read the vibe? Yeah. Imbibe the vibe. Okay. Drink your Bible. There's a book called The Wager, which is a true story about this shipwreck back in the 1700s. Nice. But these guys back in the 1700s crashed on an island, and all they had was, they didn't have wine or whiskey or whatever, and they were only drinking water, and they called it Adam's wine. That was, like, their way of making it, like, getting by the day. Who was Adam? What? Who's Adam? Well, Adam and Eve. Like, Adam's wine. Of course. Because, like, oh, in the Garden of Eden, all they had was water. You know from the Bible, the thing you just mentioned? Yeah, I know. Adam and Eve and Lilith. And Steve. And Steve. And also Steve. He has, like, a little leaf on him. He's like, hey, it doesn't quite fit. Whoa. Where'd you get your guys's? Whoa. Steve, you have a big penis. Oh, so weird. Little leaf over there. Sorry, guys. I just have my big old dinger out, and whoops. Your dinger fits, Adam. And Steve's like, how do you guys get your leaves to, like, stay there? Stay there? It's crazy. Mine falls down. Mine's just right stuck on the tip. It's insane. You know what I did learn? Which is, actually, this is probably way, way, way TMI. Go for it. In the olden, olden, olden days of the Olympics, like, ancient Greek style, they competed naked. Right. And apparently, I'm so sorry. Apparently, nudity for them wasn't embarrassing. What was embarrassing was seeing anything about the ween that was not covered by the foreskin. So they used to tie their foreskins shut. Whoa. Because it would be embarrassing. It would be embarrassing if anyone could see, like, the glands of the penis. Wow. So if you were circumcised, you wouldn't do well. Well, you wouldn't be circumcised in ancient Greece unless there was a terrible accident in the Minotaur battle or whatever. Like, that's not a thing. That's crazy. Whoa. We should bring that back for the Olympics. Yeah. No, they need to bring back pancreation and full rules back in the day where you were allowed to grab the scrote. Oh, yeah? I didn't know that was a thing. What sport? There was wrestling. Scrot grabbing? So, so. Hey, my sheds. Let's do some scrote grabbing. Let's watch it. It was called, like, pancreation or pancradion, and it was truly, like, it was basically, like, the translation is, like, anything, like, all of it. Like, go for it. Translates roughly to Rochambeau. Just go do whatever you want. How would that work with women? They could grab. They were the best at the sport. No one could beat them. That's true. But, yeah, it was just fully just, like, do whatever the fuck. Whoa. You're allowed to just go crazy. That's crazy. It's scary. That's awful. But, yeah, that's ancient Greece for you. All right. Ancient Greece. All right. Oh, it's on me. Thank you. This one's calling to me. Ooh, this one comes from Anonymous Crew. Oh, also water-based. Nice. Does soda water slash carbonated water count as real water? Yes, but it doesn't hydrate you as well, I don't think. But maybe it does. It definitely. Yeah, it's water. It's just in a different form. Well, because tonic water has a little bit of sugar and stuff. Tonic water is vile. You don't like it. I learned recently, you know that, like, gene where people, some people don't like cilantro because it tastes like soap, but to other people, it's God's gift to plants. I love cilantro. But I would ever, whenever I did have alcohol, like gin and tonic, I would be like, God, this is vile. And people would be like, oh, it's so sweet. I'd be like, what are you talking about? This sucks. And eventually I was like, wait a minute. I can't be that different. And so I Googled it and I was like, is there a thing like that with tonic water? And it was like, yep, that's a thing. Some people have a gene where quanine, the ingredient that makes it so sweet, tastes absolutely like bitter doo-doo garbage. And I'm like, oh, me, me, me, me, hate it. You know what? Tonic water is, I kind of agree. I think it's too sweet. I think it depends on- It tastes bitter to me. Wow. That's what I'm saying. It tastes so bitter. Like it, my tongue goes like, oh, like it's awful. Damn. Weird. I like it. Is there a difference? Okay, stupid question. Is there a difference between soda water and sparkling water? This is such a good question. Is it all the same? I have no idea. When I'm at the store and it's like, oh, we're getting, we need soda water for something. Mineral water is different. I think it was, well, that is, yes, it would be a, bicarbonate of soda. So carbonated soda and soda water, I think are like pop versus soda. It's the same thing. Wait. But mineral water is different. Sparkling and soda water is a different because it's the amount of bubbles or the amount of gas in it. Is it a different level of carbonation? Yeah. I think soda water has more bubbles and sparkling is less. I could be wrong. That would make sense to me. Nobody is looking it up. By the way, if you're listening or watching this, don't take our answers as fact. We're just kind of having fun here. I would like to go ahead and say that I feel like an expert in soda. Yeah, I would like to say that what I say- I would like to say is fact. Yeah, Amanda is pretty correct. Okay, Shane has the bowl. Yeah, get at the bottom there. I think Benny- I love you, Benny. These are all from Benny. Okay, we'll move on from this one quickly. He says, could you smell what The Rock was cooking? Was it good or bad? I feel like it was eggs and bacon. I think it could only smell bad. What? Just like they're up there sweaty, like he's cooking in those conditions. Are you kidding me? It's probably freaking delicious. No. And he just has an apron on. I think it's probably delicious barbecue. Like he's probably got a really nice family barbecue going. Okay. Yeah, I mean, I could see him being big on family barbecues. Okay, yeah, I could see that too. Thanks, Benny. Thank you, Benny. Okay, this is from Nicole. Nicole is over at Smoshalike. Director, producer, everything. We love Nicole. What are some assumptions you have about the cast? Nicole. That's not a stupid question. Nicole, you can't reverse your assumptions question on us. That's an entire- That's going to take us forever. That's an entire format. That's a whole episode. She needs assumptions for Keith. This is her. "Oh, she needs these." Oh, for an upcoming episode. Got it. I assume Keith has like full conversations with his dog like all the time. Oh, he absolutely does. That's a great point. I feel like he would just sit, but he just like on his couch, just at home, just like talking. I assume Keith has two closets to fit all of his incredible clothes. Ooh, that's a good one. I assume that Keith very much believes in anything supernatural at all. Like if you tell him like there's a new kind of mermaid you've never heard of and it's in this location, he'll be like, I don't want to go there. No way. Like he'd be like, I don't think that's true. He'd be like, do you want to go there? He's like, no. I don't want to go there. I assume Keith hates planes. I don't know why. I just assume it. That's a good assumption. Yeah. I just assume that he's like, no. And I've been on planes with Keith many times. Oh. I actually think he doesn't have a problem with it, but it's a good assumption. I don't know why I assume that. He was on them. He was there. Okay. Here's the bowl. Nicole, that's all you're getting. I also wrote down some. So if at some point. This is from r slash no stupid questions. Are therapists who go to therapy allowed to discuss their own patients? Yes. They specifically have. I believe they specifically have like within certain parameters therapists that they go and they discuss. They can discuss. They're not allowed to discuss your therapy, right? But like they are allowed to exactly, literally exactly what Shane said, but I'm trying to say it. As well. But that's a good way to do things. They have a bunch of laws for that, but like. Oh, there's so many laws. They have a specific. Do they get to choose their therapist? I'm not sure how it works. And it probably is different with different clinics, different fields and everything. I'm not. Therapists need therapists. I'm not an expert on this. I would, if I was going to a therapist, I would almost hope that they are discussing things with other therapists, that it's not just within, there are certain things that are private that are, you know. Wrapped up with certain laws of like protected, but to discuss situations and things. Yeah. Well, maybe it's like, Hey, I'm working with this patient, but they're, you know, their story is really sitting with me and I'm not feeling great about it. Like the human side of me, I'm having a hard time. Yeah. Like maybe something like that. Do you know who I want as my therapist is in couples therapy. I want Orna's therapist. Yeah. I want her. So. She's badass. You know what? I finally was about to watch it on a plane a few days ago. And. And I decided to watch once again, the animal documentary stuff, which I've seen maybe three or four times. You're like, here it is. Good move. No. I always keep the animal stuff on silent and just watch with captions and I just watch the animals. That's okay. Sorry. I cut you off like three times. No, no, no. I, I just think Orna, the couples therapist has a therapist and I want that as my therapist. And she's talking about the situations, but she's probably not giving names. She's talking about them. She's probably not everything. But, uh, and like I said, it's probably, it probably varies a bunch. I'm probably wrong about a lot of it, but I, I'm assuming that with some of the fields there are. I don't think she's saying names either. She's not giving full names. I, that's why there's things that I think are absolutely protected. Okay. So my patient's name rhymes with David Bukovny and he's really just so. David Bukovny. I have a dumb question. Yeah. And Damien, I think you're actually the perfect person to have for this. So I keep hearing about this on the internet, but are all pigeons technically not supposed to be in the wild? Like, should we, are we, should we be like saving them? Saving all of them? There are wild pigeons, but the pigeons that you see in cities and stuff have been domesticated and then abandoned. They are still domesticated creatures. They are, um, uh, I think at best feral, which means that, you know, they've been left to the wild. But, um, yeah, I mean, it's not that we should be saving them necessarily, but like we should definitely be treating them kindly because we used to use them as either, it was either companionship or messaging stuff or, uh, some people used them as a food source and what not. Well, there's pigeon pie. It's just a little, it's like a little chicken, but that's so funny. But I love little pigeons and little birds. And so when people treat them poorly and like, you know, chase them through stuff, throw them whatever, where they're like, they're digging through the trash. It's like, yeah, they don't know what else to do. Yeah, man. They need food. Like everybody, if everybody let their dogs go all at the same time, you'd be like, God, these dogs are annoying. It's like, yeah, but we did that. Yeah, we did that. Poor guys. But apparently, um, I think it varies from state to state, but because they are domesticated, I'm not saying you should do this, but theoretically you can just kind of pick one up and take it home. Like you can do that legally. Whoa. Yeah. Wow. Literally. You can just, and I've thought about it so much. Yeah. Then you got it. That's a lot to take care of. Yeah. Gareth, who does our sound, has a two-parter question for, I'm going to say Amanda, but boys, feel free to answer. How does it, how does it feel to have a human grow inside you and how does it feel to no longer have a human grow inside you? So how does it feel to have a human grow inside me? And how does it. Feel to no longer have a human grow inside me? I actually love that question. I think it's a great question. Questions from Gareth from sound, um, very, very bizarre. Uh, I'm going to be completely honest when my son was getting bigger in me, I did have a full blown panic attack. I had reverse claustrophobia, like that feeling that this thing inside me is going to get bigger and I have no control over it. It made me have a full blown panic attack one night. It was very scary. It was very unexpected and you literally, and also your body actually gives you like a lot of relaxed hormones when you are pregnant because it is a very, very bizarre experience. So your body gives you relaxed hormones too, but I think, um, having a human grown side of me was very, very scary. It was very hard and weird at first. It felt very foreign and I felt very, very sick. But then there's like a, people keep saying like, okay, get, get past this thing. You kind of feel like you're on this journey. It also helps to know like there, you, you do have this feeling of like, it's never going to come out. Like it'll never come out of me, but it does. So it's kind of like you're on this kind of journey where you have to give yourself reminders and then you get to this place and then it is the coolest thing ever. That's how I experienced it. I know everyone experiences differently. Some people hate being pregnant the whole time. Some people love it the whole time. I was like a half half towards the end. It was like the coolest thing. I felt like every night I was like hanging out with this new person. I felt this like new connection cause they, they move and they kick and you feel them and you feel them in different parts. And I started to actually really love it. I found it to be really, really cool, but you do have to like, you do have to talk your brain down. Yeah. I can only imagine. Yeah. And um, and when they don't move, then you get really scared. So it's like every night you kind of like have this special little journey. It's just you and them and you like feel them move and it's a really special connection. And then when they don't move, you get this, like, you're like, where'd you go? Yeah. That's so interesting. It's really, it's really wild. But I will say having a, a, a person, child grow inside of you, you do have a raised level of fear. Sure. Everything you do is scary. Everything you eat, everything you drink, every fume you're around, every thing you put on your body, every. Whenever you're smoking cigarettes, you're like, is this bad for me? When I'm chugging whiskey and smoking cigarettes, I'm like, I should probably stop. Like, I wonder if he likes this. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I'm like, look. You should really quit. Five unfiltered lucky strikes per day and that's it. If I stop there. Man. I got really good at rolling my own cigarettes. It was really sick time. The natural stuff. It's American spirit. I roll it myself. It's actually chill. So don't even worry. It's better for you. Yeah. But now not having. And then not having. Not having. You feel like you're like, woo. Oh, really? How, can I, can I ask a stupid question? Yes. Because after you gave birth, did you still feel pregnant or was it immediately like, I'm not. Oh. Oh, interesting. I immediately was like, I'm not pregnant, but I, you're, you're still, you're still having contractions after your baby's out. That's the thing. Oh, wow. No one talks about that shit. Cause like when people, I think I learned that when I learned this, I was like, when people give birth, it's not like, oh, and now my stomach's like flat and everything. It's like, you're still kind of like. So your uterus is still the size that held the baby. Yeah. And that's the thing that you, you actually think about all the birthing stuff. And then, so your uterus is still the side size. So you actually, when the baby's out, you're still experiencing contractions and that's you're bleeding and you're getting your uterus back down to a very small size. So I think the first three months you don't, you know, the baby's not in you, but you feel you're in so much pain and you're also, your belly is hard. Um, yeah. And then the nurses come around and. TMI, but they like push on your belly and it is like, they don't say anything. They just go. And they have to do that. Cause otherwise you can get infected. Oh wow. Yeah. Like all this, all the fluid, all the amniotic, all the, um, all that while you'll look it up and you'll go, this is what it is, Amanda, but it has to come out of you. So I would say after no one really describes that, but like the after effect fucking sucks. Yeah. I do have a probably stupid question, but like. No stupid question. Oh, damn, normal question, but only for this episode. As someone who runs into, like, doors and walls all the time myself was it a spatial huge spatial difference not having to worry about a person yes anymore were you like giving everything like a wide berth no pun intended you know how these cute ass women who are pregnant have their like belly out and they're like wearing the cute little thing i wanted to do that so bad i was like that's gonna be me i was so scared of my belly being out like that sure like i just felt like there was no protection like your your baby is right there the only thing is like yeah well there's actually quite a bit of protection sure but like your brain right and like when they told me i couldn't do muay thai i couldn't ride a bike yeah yeah i couldn't i was like oh you're just you feel like you're like a bit of a capsule but i also mean more like after when you didn't have the largest stomach anymore where you're like oh am i walking way too wide from like around the pole oh i don't know you know what i will say i i genuinely kind of missed i missed my belly a little bit simply because i knew my baby was always safe yeah like like he was so like and also for a while like i kind of was like i got into it was it was it weird like the first time after giving birth that you could like lay down face first on the ground like because you can't dude i'm a stomach sleeper yeah that was really hard for me that's crazy you know how many things on instagram it's like it looks like a blow out where there's just a hole for your belly sure that some people buy i seriously considered it that sounds kind of cool anyway i know i seriously considered like being face down i've got a little bit of a tummy and like not pregnancy-wise but that sounds kind of comfy shove that little tummy in the in the hole this hole's made for me dude i i will say not having a baby i was like the food that i could i mean you have to be careful cigarettes when you're when you're breastfeeding oh sure the cigarettes that you can do my baby was like the food that i could i mean you have to be careful of the food when you're when you're breastfeeding my god a pack a day yeah the filters don't help sleeping on my belly fuck that was amazing that's crazy so yeah i would say it's um so different and then every baby's different you can't expect some people get really sick with one and then they have another one and they feel fine yeah so uh yeah i would question gareth overall half like a horror movie in the second half like a really beautiful wow sound of music sound of music sound of music yeah and then the end of sound of music yeah alien predator sound of music alien predator alien versus predator versus sound of music how do you solve a problem like maria i've got an idea all right we're gonna do a speed round then let's do it uh from anders how would you spend your time if you had the mind you have now but we're in the body of a newborn how would you spend your time as a newborn i don't know man that's a nightmare tummy time that would be people when they go oh if i could go back and time with my brain i'm like you want to go back to second grade with an adult brain and you have to go to second grade and talk to somebody all day she's so hot you know what it's uh an anime detective conan or detective conan it's about like a guy who's uh like a mid-20s detective and somehow he turns back into a kid and it's him trying to solve crimes but it's a modern day like he didn't did he go back in time he didn't go back in time he's just a kid he's just a kid i'm talking like you go back i go back to 2000 or i go back to 1997 as like a six-year-old and i'm there i know everything that's about to happen and i go guys we gotta do some things differently they're not gonna like shut up for so long that would suck okay rapid round uh here's another one from anders would you rather be one foot taller or one foot shorter neither i've accepted my height anders yeah i'm comfortable with who i am i mean i don't want to be shorter but also taller like i feel like i'm in that middle ground where either direction i'll feel like i'm in that middle ground where either direction i'll feel like i'm in that middle ground where either direction i'll feel like i'm in that middle ground foot is going to be inconvenient foot is a lot i guess i would be six ten and a half jesus though i would be five feet five feet i don't even know who i would be i think that'd be really funny you as the you as the shortest member of smosh would be very funny that's true um no if isn't it crazy to think that if i was oh do it do it shane did he ask this question just to put me in this position six that'd be funny i was gonna say wouldn't it be crazy that i would still be an inch shorter than rhett dude if you were six seven the ladies you would get would be freaking nice that's so crazy dude here that's crazy well i didn't know you ball yeah six seven all right anyways our vitamins a scam no i mean you can't process all that a vitamin puts in your body but you're getting something out of it what is watergate what is watergate yep from emily p like a sluice oh main channel did she didn't know what water it's the name of a hotel where uh nixon nixon's cronies had broken in trying to get specific stuff on stuff that nowadays would be on the news for like half an hour literally like oh yeah we don't give a fuck we got a watergate every day it truly it's every day something way worse than watergate happens and our government's just like yeah this is cool now we uh yeah we can't we can't get mad enough for them to do anything about it i did realize i was talking to people the other day sorry i know this is rapid fire round but you're looking for stuff i'm done when people were like you know other people are like protesting the government why can't we do it and i'm like it's location like if if all of us were mad enough all at once because people are like oh there's millions of us and only a few of them i'm like great are we all going to drive to washington dc and check into a hotel are we all getting flights and sleeping on the street what do you mean like the us is too big right anyway and the last question that will really send us is from no stupid questions people that yell when they sneeze is it possible to not do that i don't know i need to ask courtney that yeah courtney i've told sometimes it is like there's there's like a it's concussive i i i know i literally know it's like a war movie where i wake up and it's like get down get down get down get down we're gonna run you brought me to that scene that's incredible i am there right now and i want to watch this movie it's so real she she shocks me i'll be driving and she'll be next to me and i'll be like she shocks me it's fast too it's not like there's a wind-up sometimes they'll just be like i think in general i don't know for courtney because you know i don't know their life but in general for people loud sneezers are loud sneezers but they do lean into it and i understand it no i understand it because it does kind of feel good like a good sneeze does feel good like if it is different than like and just but hey you're right you're right they say it's one they don't they say it's one-eighth of an orgasm yeah if you really so if you sneeze eight times in a row my husband screams like that yeah wait what did you say what's up sorry what does your husband do he screams oh really oh i could see that that's scary i'm a little bit like stop because we've he's done it like walking into a restaurant where he's like yeah like that and that's how you get eastern european music no literally i'm like stop and he's like i have to i have no choice i have to and i'm like you're he's so leaning into it but he would say he's not and then when i go like this like what are you doing that's kind of because it feels like it hurts yeah do a middle ground just do the obama like vampire cough sneeze thing that we all learned and just do it in your arm and then you're fine okay anyways anyways um we have to go oh man we still have so many left maybe we'll do it again we'll do this again like three for the comments damien you're awesome um why does shrek resonate so much with gen z you know we have so much guys answer these okay why do people visualize clearly when they read while others only see words what's up guys answer these okay why do people visualize clearly when they read while others only see words what's up with that it's a fascinating thing that's that people uh when i learned that i'm like at a two on the scale we're done guys flashes of the app how does internet bluetooth work i'm i'm all right we're out of here living in my brain all right damien you're the best you're the best thanks damien this is so much fun thank you for doing this uh i haven't spoken in a day because of vocal rest because voiceover so thanks for being the one thing that was worth breaking silence for oh my god that's awesome see you guys later bye guys happy birthday if it's your birthday bye