#162 - Stupid Questions Only

Guys, before we get into the show, I have something really exciting to tell you. Very soon, we're going to be doing a special book club episode of Smoshmouth. And we're going to be doing it around a book that's coming up tomorrow, September 22nd, called Hollywood Ending by John Green. Whoa, that's so fun. And guess who our guest is going to be on this episode? I'm going to guess it's John Green. That is right. It is going to be the author of Hollywood Ending John Green. Author of also faulted our stars, turtles all the way down, and looking for Alaska. And paper towns. But here's the thing, Hollywood Ending is going to be his first adult novel. And his first book in nine years. That's right. So it's going to be a big deal. What does that mean? We're going to read the book, prepare some questions, have an in-depth discussion, and whatever else happens in a book club, I don't really know. Oh, well, maybe we have some snacks and a little bit of tea. Sure. And John can maybe answer some of our questions. Exactly. And he might answer some of your questions. We want you to be part of the book club. So read along with us and submit discussion questions, thought starters, and unfiltered reactions to our community section on the Smoshcast YouTube channel. We'll look through your submissions there. And we'll pick some to read with John in a few weeks. Yes, please submit your questions so that we can all be a part of this book club. And hey, maybe we'll all eat snacks. You guys eat snacks at home and we'll eat snacks here, right? Can we have snacks? Yeah, it's a book club. We have to have tea and snacks. We're going to have whatever John Green asks for. Paper? Yeah. Wow, I'm so excited. You will have until October 9th to go to the community section give us any of your thought starters, your questions, your reactions. And we might read them here on the show with John Green. So stay tuned, go pick up Hollywood ending at your local bookstore, and read that bad boy. Because we're going to-- Because we're going to. And we're going to talk about it. That's right. And we're going to have snacks. And all right. And Amanda will bring snacks. Oh, I can't wait, it's going to be so fun. What do you think John likes for snacks? I think he's sustained on knowledge. Wow. Yeah. Yummy. Anyway, it's back to the show. Back to the show. Hello, Mike Check. My name is Damien Haas. I am over 18 to play older. And I will be auditioning for the role of dead body number two. Good. Sounds great. Could you imagine playing a dead body? It'd be kind of fun. Actually, it'd probably not be fun at all. I don't think it would be fun at all. I think it'd be terrible. Wow. Hello, welcome to Smoshmouth. I'm Shane. Hello, I'm Amanda. And we have a wonderful guest joining us today. His name is Damien Haas. Hello, joining you from stage and screen. And I'm grateful to be here with you on this program. Grateful to have you on this program. Program. Program. Program. Damien, thank you so much. Absolutely. I feel so underdressed. What are you talking about? You all look fantastic. I just decided to dress up. I'm wearing an all linen black dress. And it's my favorite thing ever. You all are wearing like very elegant black clothes. You are like the front cover of like a fashion magazine's funeral edition. And you're like, how does sleigh when they've been sleigh? Yeah. I just just want to wallets and grommet me into the closet. And I think that's back out. So happy that you're here. I'm so happy to be here. Your hair is getting so long. Thank you. Do you have a-- Do you have a goal? No, I think-- You know what happened was I noticed-- first of all, after dying my hair for years, I got a little crispy. So I'm like, I got to just let it heal for a minute. Yeah, you're growing it. And it looks nice and healthy. Thank you very much. Yeah, it's very long. Are you going to get it to a point where you can braid it? It's pretty long. Yeah, you could braid it. It is pretty long. I could probably braid it. I don't foresee myself going much longer than this just because sensory-wise, that sounds like a nightmare. When I was a teenager, and I had hair pretty long for a bit, I remember it started to bother me so much. I hated it. And also, I hated the way my hair grew out. It doesn't look good. You have to get past the mushroom of despair. Yes, and I had a real bad-- Oh, I call it a kindergarten teacher. Oh, wow. So when my hair is growing out, I've cut my hair-- I've cut my hair up to here. Whoa, really short. Like really tight bob. Pretty much. It wasn't like a bob, but it was like-- It was really short. And the growing out part, I just look like a sweet little kindergarten teacher. I don't like it. Sorry. There's probably some hot kindergarten teachers out there, but let me tell you-- Oh, yeah, for sure. It was not me. And that's today's Swashmouth. Top 10 hot kindergarten teachers. Have you ever looked back on your elementary school or your books and stuff, and you see your teachers? Damn. I didn't realize how hot a teacher-- Oh, damn. My second grade teacher was hot as hell. I had no idea. I had no hot teachers. Oh, and I had female hot teachers. Male? Oh, well, no. No. Oh, very male. Looking back at some of them, I was like, oh my god, I didn't realize it's so hot. Yeah. I had one teacher that was very, very pretty. And if she was very friendly with another teacher whenever the classes would meet up, and it'd be like a field day, and it'd be like, oh, they're doing a funny routine together. And I'm like, now's an adult, like, they were fucking. And-- You're doing your routine together. Yeah, it's like, oh, it's a funny thing. You're doing a backflip routine. Well, she's like, he's holding her, like, in the middle. And then they're, oh, he's on his back. It's so crazy. Oh, wow. She's shouting. She's in pain. I have to help her. What is this? I have to stop going well. Amanda, what was that? That was me performing your routine. That was so accurate and scary. Is that what you saw? No. No, that's crazy. That's crazy. I did have a-- Yes. I had an insane crush on my math teacher in middle school. And let me guess. This is how you handle it. Well-- Amanda's making you the gym helper. I'm sorry. No, I wasn't going to do anything about it. I did. I was smart enough to be like, well, yeah, she's much older than me. And she's my teacher. So this is probably not going to work out. But I was like, oh, my God. Snitten. Oh, yeah. No. That was-- I mean, apples did you give, Shane? Every day. And I was-- and she'd be like, OK. So you've given me five apples in the past five days. How many apples is that? And I'm like, oh, no. She's like-- I don't think I love you. I love you. This is why-- No, I remember all the other-- like, my friends and stuff were talking about, like, other girls. And I was like, yeah, for sure. But she was-- But Mrs. Commanderson. Mrs. Commanderson. I've got my eye on a more mature guy. I was losing my mind. Whoa. I don't think I've ever talked about that. No, that was my-- You haven't. That was like my first-- I was like-- Spring Awakening. I am Russian. Whoa. I was like, she is the hot-- We have all a mat before you get in the description. Go on. I'm going to guess 82 years old. She was not 82. No. Actually recall, I'm trying to remember. She definitely had a lot of gray or white in her hair, though. But she was hot. OK. She did at one point in class. She was like, yeah, I used to do some modeling when I was younger. And I was like-- And I was like, of course she did, there she is. Of course she did. So she could be a-- Hard to imagine you even more younger and beautiful than you were right now. You could model right now, Mrs. Commanders. You should model. Do you have any modeling pictures? [INAUDIBLE] So do you-- Just like a sign head shot would be fine. [LAUGHTER] All right. Wow. Yeah. He's done with that. You were really a grave robber, huh? Jesus Christ. What is it? She was a grave robber. Hello. She probably-- She could have been in her 30s or 40s with grace. I think she was in her 40s. I really do. I think she just had some, like, some, like, gray. And she was legitimately a very attractive person. Wow. Like I'm not saying, like, oh, it was like wild that I had it. Like she was hot. Yeah. I've never heard you say that. That's awesome. Wow. Yeah, just true. Anyways, today-- He's so ready to move on. Anyway, so yeah, move on on from that. I'm going to be five minutes ago. Today, this episode is a safe space where no question is too stupid. That's the theme. We have a bowl filled with questions here that were submitted by our crew here at Smosh. A few on stupid questions. And from the Reddit, no stupid questions. But yeah, so we're going to look at these. We're going to answer them to our best ability. Yeah. No judgment. We're going to answer them because-- And if we have any stupid questions ourselves, we are free to ask at any point. My questions are great. You know what? That's why I didn't bring any because I don't have any stupid questions. I'm just also really smart. I'm really smart. Joking aside, I do love living in an age where we can just sort of Google stuff and look things up. And every once in a while, when I'm like, I'll drop a little fact. People are like, why do you know that? And I'm like, because it got brought up. And I looked into that. And that's all it takes. Can I say, though, I feel like it's gotten harder now, though. There was a period of time where the internet you truly could Google it. And you get the source. You've got-- Oh, here's a.gov or a.edu immediately. And now you Google shit and you're hit with a bunch of AI bullshit Google Gemini things. And now when people are like, Google is free, I'm like, yeah. And I don't trust it at all. I don't trust it. Because I'll literally look up. It'll be like, oh, Shayne top birthplace. Shayne top was born in Los Angeles, California. I'm like, that's wrong. So I'm like, if you're wrong about that, how do I trust you about it? So what are the facts online are literally wrong about me? Like, literally more than half the facts. They're like, oh, Amanda's husband is a Belarusian model or some kind of-- there is some crazy fact about him. And I was like, to a degree, but I also do-- like, the information is out there. Like, you can really dig in, like, fine day, much easier than back in the day. So yes. But there's so many-- there's like kind of more existential questions, where it's not like a fact. You know what I mean? It's kind of more like, why does this happen? Yeah, like what's the deal? This episode of Smoshbath is sponsored by Smalls. So I have this thought. I think it's time for Birgit. and bones to be cat influencers. - That's great because they can tell me what's up. - Mm-hmm. - Every time we have friends over, they comment on how well my cats eat and that their coats are so shiny. - So do you have some secret formula or? - No, not at all. I would never get keep smalls. Smalls, fresh cat food, is protein pack recipes made with preservative free, 100% human-grade ingredients you'd find in your fridge, and it's delivered right to your door. And because they aren't eating junk, their hydration is improved, their sustaining energy thanks to the protein and they have fewer hair balls. - Your cats deserve the best. I'm already feeling influenced. - And 88% of cat owners reported overall health improvements. And here's the thing, my cats can be very picky when it comes to food, but when it comes to smalls, they're freaks for that. - They lose their minds. I'm holding them at bay. Try and I'll try to get the food into their bowls. Like bones, birdie, relax. - Whoa, okay, yeah. - You seriously convinced me. I'm switching to smalls. So stop serving your little carnivore a bowl of processed shortcuts. For a limited time because you are a Smoshmouth listener, get 60% off your first order, plus free shipping and free treats for life when you head to smalls.com/smoshmouth. That's 60% off your first order, plus free shipping and free treats for life when you head to smalls.com/smoshmouth. Back to the show. - Yeah, should I dive in? - Please. - So if you're just listening, we have a beautiful bowl that Selina made, and she cut out little papers. That makes me feel really good. - Point of order, the bowl I believe was purchased, it is a plastic fish bowl. - Yeah, it's a plastic fish bowl. - But Selina cut up the answer she made those. - Yeah, thank you. - No problem. - Okay, this is from Anders. Anders is in the games department. We love Anders very much. - Mm-hmm, that's true. - Okay, here's his, no stupid question. If you were to play against actual athletes of a sport, what is the youngest age you think you'd stand a chance against? Example, middle school basketball players all the way up to professional or Olympic basketball players, et cetera. - Oh my God, I'm getting schooled by middle schoolers. - Literally, they are, they're gonna crush me. - Well, especially once in a while. - Super job. - Well, here's also the problem. Here's also the problem. People think like, oh, I'll crush middle schoolers, they're endurance, they have little kid endurance. I know they're not little kids, but like the energy that you have when you're 12, they can run all day. - Yep. - They don't get tired. - Nope. - Yeah, I don't think there is, if someone is devoting themselves to a sport, I don't think there is an age that I can be outside of like pee-wee league something and just because like their limbs can't run that fast out of it. Like that's, middle schoolers would kick my ass. Elementary school, I'm thinking of like an elementary school baseball team, little league. They'd still probably kick my ass. - Yeah, simply because of energy and endurance and they're focused on it. - And like, it's not like, okay, you know, I'm okay with this thing. I probably can't hit a ball for shit. I can't really play baseball, so I probably not gonna hit anything in. - T-ball, maybe. - Okay, you didn't? - Oh yeah, I was pitcher. I played softball, I love playing softball. So maybe I could. - I did martial arts as my sport in like elementary middle school. - That ass. - Thanks. And I, but that's the thing, like I always say I was 'cause like I was a second-degree black belt, but looking at myself now, I'm like my limbs are a different size. I'm heavier. My bones hurt because I woke up weird. - Muscle memory, Damian. Muscle memory. - Okay, then I could probably beat up a kid and we're back for that. (laughing) - All right, yeah, so yeah, we could beat up children. - If they spawn every 30 seconds. - We kind of all agree though, middle schoolers, they could probably kick our ass. - Oh, beatable. Well, they're also, if anyone is practicing a sport weekly, they're gonna beat me at it. - Of course. - I'm not, I'm not versed enough in anything. - Do you remember how much we did in middle school? You literally woke up at the ass crack of dawn. - Just go. - You were aggressively forced out of your bed by any parent who was like, come on, I'm serious, get out. You could chase your sister's car down the street to try to get in it. - That part, no. What? - And then you get to school. You have hours of school. Your lunch kinda sucks. And then maybe you have like an after-school program or you have a sport all night and then you have homework. - It sucks. - It is crazy to think that like, I did think about that the other day, that your day was wrapped by like 230 or three or whatever in high school. We were like, today if I'm done with something by 3 p.m., I'm like, oh, I have a whole day in front of me. - Same. - Like God, we didn't know what we had. - No, it was so much. So, middle schoolers are committed. - So yeah, it's gotta be close to kindergarten. It's easy to beat them at anything. - It's gotta be laid to sport. But that's luck. - I disagree. I think there's more skill of all there. - I don't know what you said. - At conventions, sometimes people bring up like bay blades and arena things where they're like, "Hey, I want to like say hi." And like, can you, can we do like around? And I'm not, you know, not for nothing. I have yet to lose. - Whoa. - I have yet to lose. - Explain to me what the F, a bay blade is. - It's your, it's tops. - It's a battle like spinning top. You spin your top, they spin their top and they're like, shh, shh, shh. - Oh, I literally meant swords. - Well. - For your bay. - I have a couple rounds. - It's my girlfriend's blade. - Bay blade. - Even outside of sports, like it was very sobering for me when my 10 year old niece and nephew beat me at Mario Kart. And like, I legitimately could not beat them. And I was like, this is, they're like laughing. They're laughing in my face. - Oh, no. - And I'm like, you have no idea. This is like an existential crisis for me. - That's so sad. - I tried not too long ago to play some of the games on like super Nintendo that I grew up with. - Yeah. - And I remember like beating and getting to whatever level. Like, I couldn't do it at all. Like, sometimes as a kid, what you are like immersed in. - You just have so much time. Like, I was putting in time. - Do you know what they couldn't beat me at? - What? - People's skills. - Ooh. - Try me in those schoolers. Go talk to a stranger and ask if you can park there. (laughing) Go talk to a stranger and go, where's the restaurant? Oh my God, I'm so sorry. It's six feet. I might know what happy hour just ended. But like, can we just, it's six o'clock. - You know what I could beat? - I could beat. - I love that. - I could beat a lot of people. I think a lot of people. But mostly any kid, anyone under the age of 18, I'd be like, it's a game of patience. Get rid of everything. We're gonna sit here. We're gonna go to a park. We're gonna sit at a park bench. And we're gonna sit here. - You would win. - I would win. - I think I could push that. - 'Cause they'd go five minutes in, they'd go. - They'd move their minds. They'd start filming at the mouth. They would know what to do. - And you'd go, this is the most peaceful I've been ever. - I fully think I could do it. - Of course. - Yeah. I think I could win a game of name the highest number if they go first. (laughing) - Here's the search. - What if they answer to go, they go, a Googleplex. - Googleplex plus one. - Fuck. (laughing) - So, this is so. - Googleplex times two. - Don't wanna grab the next question. - You. - Oh, no, yeah. - Yeah, we'll go clockwise. - Come on, guest. - Clockwise, more like clock dumb. - These are fun. - Let's see here. - This is from Anonymous Crew. - Whoa. - Ooh, could be anybody. - Anonymous is an art department. - Yeah, but maybe. - Pretty cool. - The question is, should I get bang? - No, it's not. - It's a joke. - It's a joke. - It's a joke. - It's a joke. It's a joke. It's a joke. It's a joke. I don't get it. - Yeah, well, you're just kind of constantly changing. - I am constantly changing. I enjoy changing. - No, you break the mold. - I do. Let me say this about bang, though. If you want to get bangs, get ready to style them pretty much every day. And if you want to keep them that length, get ready to have hair cut, bang hair cuts every month. It's really frustrating. - It's tough. Yes. - My little bit of advice is when you do it, if you do it, make sure it's really late at night, you do it on a whim. You can only find those like, fiscars, craft, scissors that you. And you can just do it yourself. - And hold them all in one thing and then do this. And then go, "Oh, and have them be tiny." - Yeah, I was gonna say, then you correct it. You just even it out, and then you even out the other side, and then you have micro bangs. Which looks good on everyone. - Damien, how much money would it cost for you to get micro bangs? - You can't buy me. You can't buy me. I would never get micro bangs. I would die. - You had a man to style micro bangs. - You had these little bangs and the two braids. - Oh my God, I look like that fucking door from the hobbit, whichever one you know the exact one at night. - Yes, I do. - No, thank you. - Okay. - I don't think there's a. - Oh my God. - So I was like, I will give you $10 million. - Oh my God. - You have to have micro bangs for the next two years. - Oh God. - $10 million. - You could do a lot with $10 million. - But also, I mean. - But your dignity's gone. - Yeah, a lot of micro bangs. And like, well, am I in charge of like, what's in the back half of my hair? - You are in charge of the back half. - Shaved head, micro bangs. - Yeah. You know what? Yeah, like pinky ring, velour suits. Like, I'm just going to go full on it. - You're up to like, he's an artist of some kind. - Yeah, that's a DJ. - If you have little bangs in your hair, I would be like, alright. - Isn't that just like the 90s like Caesar cut or whatever? - It's kind of, it was a little bit different. - Yeah, I think so. You look great. Now, Shane on the other hand, if he had micro bangs, he would look like a little girl. - Oh, yeah. - It's okay. - I agree. - Like, you wouldn't, I don't think you'd be able to pull it. - I don't think I can pull off a lot of haircuts. I've talked to a lot of hairstyles. I'm like, what haircuts could look good on me? And they're like, you know what? - You know what you should pull off? - Modern mother. - Like an awesome shaved head. I have not small not like like a two. Yeah, I have I do think about shaving my head a lot How that would look some like because it's either it looks really good or it's just like I do it It doesn't look good, but I'm kind of like I'm gonna save that for later when my hair is like really like my Airlines going back or whatever like when I'm older like when I'm in my 40s Maybe I'll do the shaved head. Have you ever had like extremely short hair when I was a kid my hair my hair was really short But not ever I've never had a shaved head I've never seen what that looks like because I've learned like when I was a teenager I had a mostly shaved head and for a theater thing I was doing but I've got a really big mole right here and a little bit of a Cupomp right here. It's not the most flattering bald head shape So I'm worried about them like what if I don't have a good you got to like you got to like do a little Topography map of your head and see what you've got going on. I'm like what what if it's that is like probably the only other Look that I would be like I'd be curious you should shave your head and then grow your beard I'd have a huge beard cool Do the Henry Cavill beard style where it's like longer down here shorter on the side and it like chisels the face We have one from Kandra who's like our talent liaison here at Smosh Why is the area behind your knee not called knee pits? courtesy of my seven-year-old Who is then five when they asked this question knee pits wait? I don't know what they are what are they called? I thought of them as knee pits before and if someone said knee pits I would know exactly what you meant. It's true. All I know is don't touch the back of it I don't want to be touched in my knee pit. I agree. I think it should be called knee pit I agree although it sounds a little bit like a knee pit But I just say you have back of the knee. Would you yeah back? It sounds like a scream. Oh back knee pit. Oh, yeah Isn't it okay? Now it sounds like you're gonna knee-pitting the body You get a knee-pitting the body. I don't like say you don't have that flour. You need a knee-pitting the back Anyone knows what's actually no one doing I mean, it's just the medical term. Yeah, what's the medical term? Popleteal Fossa. I've never Popsleteal Fossa of course. I just know it's where my hammy meets the calves hammy meets the calves. Yeah Wow, well, I actually think that we should call it knee-pit. I like it Okay, great actually not even a stupid question. You've given us guidance in our life Thank you, Kendra. All right, let's get another question. Kendra sequer flame. Nice This is from Rachel. She's all over the Taurus. She's killing it What happened to blackberries the phone? Oh Yeah, that was a was Motorola was it no? Yeah, it was Motorola, right? That was like bus I feel like I feel like the monopoly of Apple just kind of like squeezed other things out. Well, yeah I mean, I think blackberry was the thing that you aspired to because it's like oh you have pom pilots and then I had a black super cool that you need a blackberry and then I had a blackberry too because it came with the phone plan and I think once that fell off In popularity and either iPhone or, you know, Android-based devices took over like blackberry came back. They tried yeah I think Apple just took over and also I feel like blackberry. I was like oh this person's working. This is a business person Yeah, it didn't have like to me like the coolest the problem is they didn't anything that wasn't quick to the game I mean I'm talking like I know I'm an idiot who doesn't know this shit It could be stupid answers, but I felt like it was like, you know the smartphone Build everyone fell in love with that shit and apps and everything started to speed up social media and the blackberry Wasn't designed for that it had all the buttons and everything it had so many little but I loved my blackberry I loved I had the razor. Then I had the blackberry. Oh nice. I was kind of late to the iPhone I was too and I was reluctant. I only got iPhone when I started working at Smosh games back in the defy days because I would be doing conventions and stuff and there'd be important things to post or Whatever and people would be like let me air drop it I'm like I don't have that and then I'd miss group chats because we were like we know what the green tanks and you know That's more social engineering than anything else, but yeah, I mean it it worked. I get it I do miss those buttons though because I I miss type things so often that I have anxiety dreams almost every single night last night Included about really needing to type something in either get someone a message or type in an address or like I need to go somewhere And it's wrong every time and I keep backspacing it and I try it again And I can't and also when I had my thumb surgery like last year my thumb doesn't go the distance I thought it like it doesn't the muscle memory is wrong So I keep typing things wrong still it drives me nice. Maybe you need a phone. Oh, yeah, and an iPhone. Oh You need a burner phone Too phone. Yeah, I think that'll totally stop all your stuff. I Love Analog anything. Yeah, like I really love it I still drive like a car that is from before the era of like smart car stuff right and I love everything is a knob or a button I do like that and I love it so much me too I got a new work car recently and that's the one thing where I'm like Why does why is there no button for this thing like what do you mean? I have to tap on a screen? I'm driving. Yeah, I don't want it. I hate it too. I absolutely hate it. I like the old school Yeah, I want to have to wind up my vehicle to take you to a talky To a key I first I thought Rachel was gonna say what happened to blackberries like she doesn't know that they're around I know but then she wrote I got good news. You can find them phone. They're delicious. All right Damien hit us. All right. This one is from Benny. Oh, one of the nicest humans you'll ever meet the sweetest Benny is the office hype man that makes you feel good but also editor. He's also always on the move on the moon is on a journey It's running everywhere. He's always running. I saw he goes. Hey man. How's it going? And then he's running I saw him run up the stairs Here with a speed that is greater than I think I can sprint on flatland. Yeah, yeah, I don't know how he did it I think he might be able to fly and he's just being like he is flying home. How about it? Yeah, the first time I ever met him I heard a whoosh of air And I turned around and I went and my hair flew forward and I turned around and he goes hey man How you doing? I bet he's nice to meet you and I was like where did you come from have we considered that perhaps he is Hermes Possibly perhaps he's the messenger anyways, go on. I love that shout out Benny Why do people turn down the radio to see better in the car? Oh? That's so that is the most vulnerable question we got So when I see like traffic or like, you know construction, I literally turned down the radio. I guess maybe I do do that I haven't thought about this is it maybe just to like help focus like you're just trying to like That's what it is for me like if I'm driving someone the hardest thing in the world It's not just the radio like if they're telling a story and it's like oh my god And then dude, so you know what he said? I'm I have to like as politely as possible would be like hey, I'm so Give me a second. I'm trying to merge like it's yeah, but that it seems like the same thing like you're splitting attention Yeah, I am not good at splitting attention at all I this makes me think about whenever I'm trying to write a message if I'm if I'm texting someone If I'm writing email or something, I I cannot have any other dialogue going on around me or else I literally cannot write a sentence out. So you do this with your partner. I don't know if you do this But it's like a unknown Nice thing that me and my husband do that if we're texting Someone it so we're having a conversation or whatever and it's like oh, I'm gonna text someone. I don't continue the conversation Oh, like I let him text But I like that's not a universal thing People like you'll be texting them like yes So anyway, and you're trying to finish the text and they'll still continue the yeah Can I ask a maybe stupid question then no, what's what's the polite way to communicate that if like sometimes I'll go like I'm just gonna like if they're talking I was be like hey, so sorry I'm just gonna send a text real quick. They'll be like oh for sure you got it So the other day I was gonna like if people want to story and that's just that person What's the polite way to be like no? I meant shush. Yeah, I don't know how to say I did it come Well, that's what I'm saying with H with H and I it's an unknown thing I was like when you're texting someone. Well, I'm not saying necessarily with a partner I'm just saying in general. I'm saying that it doesn't always translate because people don't be like I'm so sorry I can't like I'm not gonna remember anything. You're saying right now. I would say hold on one second Let me just send this real quick just I have to send this real quick hold on one second. Yeah It's gonna be like Hold on just one second if they keep going do you just like snap and go like hey? I go to the bathroom when I send it there Okay, I if I know it's if I go this person you know what this isn't they're not programmed this way It's all good. I'm just gonna go. Oh man. I gotta get it depends on the type of message It depends on the type of message I'm sending to if I'm texting someone casually if it's not important Then I'm like I'm kind of like as is low stakes But if I'm like writing an email like a professional email. I'm getting back to somewhere I'm like I might need to go somewhere really do this but well that we have iPhones It's like are you sending a professional email are you just like no? It can be both. I I still really struggle like I'm not always the best at getting back to you But it's it's partially too because like when I'm messaging people or something like I'm very intentional About it, and I'm like I don't I don't like to just send a message off and be like okay now, and then I get a text back And I'm like well now I'm now I'm here now. I'm having a conversation Because people have access to you all the time and it's tough like yeah, if I'm writing you a text I know I'm available for a little bit of time. Yeah, you know what I mean like I I keep people on Way too because I'm like I'm not available to respond do a back and forth to this yeah again with my sisters I it we can respond back in like days. It's not like it's not a but I'm with you, like, I don't just go, but if I need to send someone something, like, oh, I need to remember to say this to them. I will send it off. - Yeah, yeah, eat if I'm not available. - I think if anyone has known me for any period of time and we are texting, it's probably understood that it's gonna take a minute for me to get back. Even if I send something right away, 'cause usually it's like, send, running to the thing, like. - Yeah, I actually love like, knowing that about people, and I respect people like that, 'cause I know there's some people that I text and I'm like, I will hear back from them in a couple of days, because I'm like, yeah, they probably saw it, and it's not that they don't care about, it's that they're like, when they respond, they wanna respond, thoughtfully, but it's tough. This episode of Smoshmouth is sponsored by Wayfair. We've been asking a lot of stupid questions today, but you know what's not a stupid question. Asking me where I buy my furniture. - Shane, where do you buy your furniture? - So glad you asked Amanda, I get my furniture from Wayfair. - Of course, that makes so much sense, because Wayfair gives you access to thousands of products for every style and every budget. - And with more than 20 million verified five-star reviews, I'm able to shop with confidence. - Plus, Wayfair rewards members get 5% back on every purchase. - I've been in the process of updating my kitchen, and I really needed a new dining table. Our old one wasn't the right shape, and it didn't really fit in the space correctly. Wayfair made it really easy to search on their website, and used their filters. I could pick the style, shape, color, and dimension of my new table. - Oh, and Halloween is right around the corner, and I need decorations, and they also have that. - Transform your space with pieces that hold up to real life. Join Wayfair Rewards today, and get 5% back on every purchase. Head to Wayfair.com, or shop the Wayfair app for all things home. That's w-a-y-f-a-i-r.com, and now back to the show. Anyways, we went on a whole journey there. - Thank you, Benny. - No stupid journey. That was a very- - That was a very lonely journey. - That was a stupid destination. - I can assure Benny, asking it. - So, so a minute, real quick, real quick. If you're driving, why do you have to turn nothing? I always wonder this. (laughing) - Now, that's more of like an angel that you're doing, and that's angel in that- No, he gives you high fives. - Every single time he goes like this, he goes, he goes, "Yeah, he'll do the fist bump all the time." I think Benny's more like a soft-spoken guy. - Yeah. - Well, like he's not. He's not necessarily, he's like, "It makes more decisions." - It makes more decisions. - He's, yeah. - Hey, be good. - Hey. - But it's also kind of raspy. And a little like, when he's running. - But I think it's also from like the smoothness, like he's found, he's found a calmness, like even though he's running, he has found a calmness within himself. He's unbothered. - True. - And he truly, when he's asking how you're doing, he really wants to know how you're doing. - He really wants to know. - He's a very intentional person. - It's good person. - And here's the thing, we have another question from Benny. Oh, let's go to the Benny Hour Continuous. - And Benny asks, "Why are they called self-help books if they're written by other people?" - Damn, banger after banger after banger, Benny. - That is a, that hey, valid. Also, I read an interesting article about self-help books recently about how. - Oh no. - If you look, not necessarily like they're bad or whatever. It's just, if you look back throughout the decades that self-help books at the times they're written, I'm not gonna have good, like specific references, but they are indicators of like societal, struggles and heart issues at the time. Right? - Oh, you've had it for a while. - So, well, it's like, you look at the eras when it's like, oh, think and become rich and all these things came at financial crises times. - Yeah. - When people are strapped for cash, so it's kind of like, "Oh, wait, there's a way to get money." Why need, like, when people are in this and right now, we see a lot of, like, atomic habits. A lot of things were like, in an era where it's so hard to keep track of everything and it's like-- - When was this era? - You're a badass girl. You're a badass. Just smell the flowers. Like, stop what you're doing and do it. Just do it. - That sounds like-- - It's just, it was also-- - And also, I loved those books. - It was like the art of not giving a fuck. Like, they come at times where you can see that society people are struggling with certain things. Which is not to say that the books don't help, but it's that they are. It's kind of like correlation or causation, right? It's like people are here because we're all-- - Do you guys read self-help books? - Um, every once in a while, I'll read something like philosophy related that could be applied to self-help, but I don't really trust, like, I'm Jimmy Johnson, the speaker that tells you how to be just like Jimmy Johnson, you know what I mean? - I'll read anything, right? Like, I will read anything and I'll sometimes even read something even if I think it's dumb because I'm interested, whatever. I take a lot of it with a grain of salt. I think it's so funny 'cause I get served a lot of stuff on Instagram where it's so many dudes on the internet, the only books they talk about are the same like five books. And it's like the 48 laws of power on the cabinets. And it's all what I realize a lot of it is, I'm like, what is your intention with reading these books and it seems like a lot of it is just for a sense of control over their life, right? And I'm like, that's not necessarily like, I think every book, so many books could be self-help books, even fiction, right? 'Cause it's all like in broadening your horizons and stuff. - There are stories and lessons and all that. - But a lot of times people are reading books. This is my own personal, just kind of like, opinion, this is not any sort of valid thing. But people are already, they're reading books, especially self-help books that are already in line with like their character and all, like how they view life. - Yeah, sure. - Are you really like challenging yourself here, is it just? - It's more of like someone being like, you're on the right path. Remember that thing that you thought? I actually, there are some self-help books that I love, but I'm very picky in, picky with my self-help books, like the way they write how I'm being spoken to, but I love like kind of like Buddhist self-help books are really good, like more like, I like more spiritual. Like, I will say I did read like almost every Eckert-Toli book when it first came out. - Yeah, I love it. - I was really into those. - I really like books that are about perspective, 'cause that's something that you can really think about. But like, I've only read a couple. I've read a couple of financial ones, and I'm just like, in this day and age, fuck you. Like, I'm just kind of like, and the advice is there's no advice. I'm like, what is the advice? Tell me, how do I think and become rich? - Yes. - And it's like, okay, it's like, hey, save up money. I'm like, what money do people have to save up? - No, I know. - It was the Susie Orman sketch on SNL with Kristen Wigg, where she's like, okay, number one tip. You're going to want to empty out your savings. Take all $10,000 in there and start putting them into smaller accounts. Call your dad. - Yeah, have him send over some money. - Yeah, exactly. - I mean, people believe really writing yourself a check. Like, people really believe, and hey, I think it's a mindset. - I think it can be both. I think it falls apart when it becomes a financial aspect, 'cause there is so much that's out of your control, but I do firmly believe that you sort of wire your brain to think and feel a certain way when you continually react to different stimuli in a certain way. - Sure. - You know, letting yourself be upset, but continuing forward, you're going to have a more perseverance-based mindset as opposed to whatever book. I mean, getting back to the books, like, I don't know. I feel like in this day and age, it's hard for me to sit down with a specific book by a specific person. - Yeah. - Yeah. - I did the autism workbook. I mean, I'm like, that's cool. - That's cool. - Which is fun, where it's like, how do you deal with shit? What triggers you? What's helpful? - And that's a workbook, though. - Yeah, but I think that to me is truly, like, less self-help, self-workbook, right? And I've a few books that I've read that I would consider. Like, anytime I read anything in the realm of psychology, I'm like, that's to me, like, understanding other people's perspectives is more important than, how do I make myself more efficient, right? Like, Michio Kaku is about to drop a financial banger. - Yeah, I read a book called, I read a book called "Unmasking Autism." That was really great. And I remember like, that was incredible for me. 'Cause, and I read it, and I wanna read more, because like, you know, whenever we're doing Reddit stories and stuff and anything, possibly comes up where it's like, oh, this person in this story might be autistic, or on the spectrum, or OCD, whatever. And I'm, I really, even though I studied it in college, I don't know a lot about all that stuff. - I don't think we know a lot. - And so much comes out every year. And so many perspectives are so different from even 10 years ago that I'm like, oh, I really wanna keep up on this so that I can like, have some understanding. - Sure. - And even normal human understanding, not a professional understanding. - Even on masking autism, like, there was some stuff I saw in that where I was like, yeah, sure. You know, so, yeah, it's just, you take from it what you can't. So, I guess my answer about the books is, it's self-help in the same way that buying tools is DIY. - Nice. 'Cause you know, like, you didn't make the hammer. - Yeah, and I guess to your point about with that is like, to continue, no book can be like your, like, doctrine, right? Like, you read a book and you go, okay, great. Like, and you got a key. - Well, there is one book that's got it in my life. - Well, I, and that's Erragone. - That's right. (all laughing) - All right. - Okay. - Many making us wax poetic over here. - Okay. This is from Jay, Jay's, and graphics department. What's considered wet? Would pancakes with a thick syrup be considered wet? Or a saucy pizza? Pasta, where do we draw the line? - Ooh, that's it. - This is such a good question. - 'Cause greasy isn't, like, that's different from wet. Let me just say I don't want to think about it. I think of my food as wet. - I think wet is more specifically water-based for me. It doesn't have to be, but I know it's not everyone's favorite word, but I know it's not everyone's favorite word, but if it's syrup, oh, they're covered in syrup. My pancakes are super moist. - I don't see them in wet. - I think it says more sticky, like that's a syrupy. - Sticky, saucy, I would say saucy. - We're talking like these non-Newtonian fluids. - 'Cause yes, spaghetti's not wet. That's sauce. That's saucy. - It's all sauce stuff. - But a sauce can be kind of like the more liquidy and consistency, like how thick-- - What is soup? - What is soup, and even soup, I wouldn't say is wet because it is the wet. - I kind of agree, but I like a thick soup too. - So what's considered wet? To me, wet is not something you're eating. - Wet is something that's not supposed to be covered in water. Soup is not wet, but if you spill soup on the table, all the tables all wet. - Oh, so how does that work? - I don't know, I mean, it's, it's-- - It's trippy. - It's trippy. - Location, location. - It's kind of true though, a lot of food cannot be covered in water and still be good, except for like fruit is fine by me. Like I'll wash fruit, and like I don't care if it's like kind of still covered in water. - I know, it's all refreshing. - Like it's refreshing. - It's like fighting into an apple, getting a little bit of water. - This is such a random story, but my Tia growing up made the same dessert every Christmas. And me and my sister would be like, and you'd, oh, she'd always be sitting by it, so you'd have to go say hi to her by her dessert. And so you'd always have to like go like, okay, go talk to Tia Candida, all right? - What was the dessert? - It is wet. It is literally fruit in a can, but she doesn't rinse it. So it's canned fruit, a bunch of canned fruit, and she just pours it in a bowl, like a gorgeous crystal bowl. So it's like, it's all the wet. - So it's like an ebrosha salad, but an ebrosha soup. - So it's literally all the soup, and then she would put chocolate chips in it. - Okay, so she's kind of not doing shit. (laughing) - No, I'm sorry, that's kind of-- - No, it's not. - She bought some cans and threw them in a bowl. - Yes, and if you ever were divorced or not married, she would strike you down. But her dessert was literally like canned, so it was all wet. - And the main course is Totino's Pizza Rolls. (laughing) - It was just wet fruit with chocolate chips, and you'd always have, in my moment, go get dessert, go get dessert, and go talk to Tia. And she didn't speak a lick of English, only Portuguese. And so you'd go, and you'd have the same conversation every year, like yes, and you'd be 16, and it was like, I'm not married yet, but I will eat this dessert. So wet fruit to me is all she said. - How old was she? - She has passed, but also she had the most beautiful skin. She had a long, long white hair, like down to her butt, that she would tie up in a little bun, white, gorgeous like porcelain skin with like dark features. - So this is a siren. You're describing a siren. - She was a siren. - I think she was a ghost. - She might still be alive, I don't know. My mom says she passed. - You said she passed, now you're saying she might be alive. - I don't know, she exists forever, everywhere. - Okay. - Next to wet fruit. - But she, yeah, she was a kind of person. You'd go over to her house, and she has like a thousand pictures of you from, you don't even know when that picture was taken. She has bowls of candy that you don't know how long they've been out. - Is she a person, or is she a curse upon your family? - She might hit curse upon my family. - Yeah, what is this? - But anyways, wet fruit. - Okay. - You didn't like that fruit, and it's unusual for it to be that wet, so the fruit is wet. - Yeah, that's about socks. - It'd be different if it, like there would be a name for it. - Yeah. - Yeah, so I don't like wet when it comes to food. - Yeah, same. I have a stupid question, I have to get credit. - No stupid questions. - I have a normal question during this episode only. I saw this online, so forgive me, whoever came up with it, I apologize, I don't know the name, but it was opposed about why don't we have nicknames for water? Like the most drinkable thing that we all drink, whatever it is, there's no, I wanna have a couple of wet. - Well you do, yeah. - But I say that because that was part of that post. - Wawa. - Agua. - That's just a different language, and Wawa's a baby word. But I mean, you wouldn't ask your friend like, I wanna a couple of Wawa, but you might be like, can I get you a coke, or do you want some pop when you mean soda? - Because water is classic. You can't change its name, it can't have a nickname, it's like the Bible. - Do you wanna grab some sips? - Who would say, you wanna read the Bible? - Yeah. - I read a Bible. - In Bible the Bible. - Okay, drink your Bible. - There's a book called The Wager, which is a true story about this shipwreck back in the 1700s, nice, but these guys back in the 1700s crashed on an island, and all they had was, they didn't have wine or whiskey or whatever, and they were only drinking water and they called it Adam's wine. That was like their way of making it like-- - I love the day. - Who was Adam? - What? - Who's Adam? - Well, Adam and Eve, like Adam's wine. - Of course. - 'Cause like, oh, in the Garden of Eden, all they had was water. - You know from the Bible, the thing you just mentioned? - Yeah, no. (laughing) - Adam and Eve and Lilith. - And Steve. - And Steve. (laughing) - Steve's like, and also Steve. - He has like a little, little leaf on him, he's like, "Eh, hey, it doesn't quite fit." - Whoa. - Why don't you get your guys's? - Whoa. - Steve, you have a big penis. - Adam, so weird, a little leaf over there. - Sorry guys, I just have my big old dinger out, and whoops. - Your dinger fits Adam. - Steve's like, "How do you guys get your leaves to like, stay there?" - Stay there, it's crazy much. - Mine falls down. - It's just right, stuck on the tip. This is insane. (laughing) - Only, you know what I did? - Which is, this is probably way, way, way TMI. - Go for it. - In the old and old and olden days of the Olympics, like ancient Greek style, they competed naked, right? And apparently, I'm so sorry. Apparently, nudity for them wasn't embarrassing. What was embarrassing was seeing anything about the wien that was not covered by the foreskin. So they used to tie their foreskin's shut. Because it would be embarrassing if anyone could see like the glands of the penis. - Wow. So if you were circumcised, you wouldn't-- - You wouldn't circumcised in any of these. Unless there was a terrible accident in the minotaur battle, you know what I'm saying? Like, that's not a thing. That's crazy. - We should bring that back for the Olympics. - Yeah, no, they need to bring back a pancreation and full rules of a back in the day where you were allowed to grab the scroll. - Oh yeah. - It was really like, no whole sport. - There was wrestling. - Scrowgrabbing. - So. (laughing) - Hey, my friend's doing some scrollgrabbing. Let's watch it. - It was called like, pancreation or pancradion. And it was truly like, it was basically like, the translation is like, anything like all of it. Like, go for it. - Translates roughly to Rochembo. - Just go do whatever you want. - And so, they could grab, they were the best at the sport. (laughing) No one could beat 'em. - That's true. - But yeah, it was just fully just like, do whatever the fuck. - Whoa. - You loved it. - Just go crazy. - That's crazy. - It's scary. - That's awful. - But yeah, that's ancient Greece where we're at. - All right, ancient Greece. - Oh, it's on me, thank you. This one's calling to me. Ooh, this one comes from anonymous crew. Oh, also water-based. Nice. Disoda water slash carbonated water. Count is real water. - Yes, but it doesn't hydrate you as well. - Oh, I don't think that it's water. - I don't know. - They definitely, yeah, it's water. It's just in a different form. - Well, 'cause tonic water has a little bit of sugar and stuff. - Tonic water is vile. - You don't like it. - I learned recently, you know that gene where people, some people don't like cilantro, 'cause it tastes like soap, but to other people, it's God's gift to plants. I love cilantro, but I would ever, whenever I did have alcohol like gin and tonic, I would be like, God, this is vile. And people would be like, oh, it's so sweet. I'd be like, what are you talking about? This sucks. And eventually I was like, wait a minute, I can't be that different. And so I googled it and I was like, is there a thing like that with tonic water? And it was like, yep, that's a thing. Some people have a gene where quanine, the ingredient that makes it so sweet, tastes absolutely like bitter due to garbage. And I'm like, oh, me, me, me, me, me. Hate it. - You know what? Tonic water is, I kind of agree. I think it's too sweet. I think it depends on-- - It tastes better to me. - What you call. - Wow. - That's what I'm saying, it tastes so weird. - So weird. Like it, my tongue goes like-- - Oh, like it's all famed. - Oh, weird. - I like it. - Is there a difference? Okay, stupid question. Is there a difference between soda water and sparkling water? Is that all the same? - Is that all the same? - I know, I do. - When I'm at the store, it's like, oh, we need soda water for something in a while. - And mineral water is different. - I think it was, well, that is yes. It would be a bicarbonate of soda, so carbonated soda and soda water, I think are like pop versus soda. It's the same thing. But mineral water is different. - Sparkling and soda water is a different because it's the amount of bubbles or the amount of gas. - Is it a different level of carbonation? - I think soda water has more bubbles and sparkling is less. I could be wrong. - That would make sense to me. - Nobody is looking at us. - If you're listening or watching this, don't take our answers as fact. We're just kind of having fun here. - I would like to go ahead and say that I've heard this for so long. - Yeah, I would like to say that what I say is fact. - Yeah, Amanda's pretty correct. - Okay, Shane has the bowl. Yeah, get at the bottom there. - I think Benny-- - I love you, Benny. - Okay, we'll move on from this one quickly. He says, could you smell what the rock was cooking? Was it good or bad? - I feel like it was eggs and bacon. - I think it could only smell bad. - What? - Just like they're up there, sweaty. Like he's cooking in those conditions. - Are you kidding me? It's probably freaking delicious. - No. - And he just has an apron on. - I think it's probably delicious barbecue. Like he's probably got a really nice family barbecue going. - Okay. - Yeah, I mean, I could see him being big on family barbecues. - Okay, yeah, I could see that too. - Thanks, Benny. - Thank you, Benny. - Okay, this is from Nicole. Nicole is over at Smoshelike, director, producer, everything. We love Nicole. What are some assumptions you have about the cast? - Nicole. - That's not a stupid-- Nicole, you can't reverse your assumptions question on us. - That's an entire-- - That's gonna take us forever. - That's an entire whole episode. - She needs assumptions for Keith. - This is her-- oh, she needs these. - Oh, for an upcoming episode, got it. - I assume Keith has like full conversations with his dog, like all the time. - Oh, he absolutely is, I feel like he would just, but he just like, on his couch, just at home, just like talking. - I assume Keith has two closets to fit all of his incredible clothes. - Ooh, that's a good one. - I assume that Keith very much believes in anything supernatural at all. Like if you tell him like, there's a new kind of mermaid you've never heard of and it's in this location, he'll be like, I don't wanna go there. - Oh, no way. - I don't think that's true to be like, do you wanna go there? He's like, no, I don't wanna go there. - I don't wanna go there. - I assume Keith hates planes. I don't know why. - Oh, that's a good assumption. - Yeah, I just assume that he's like, been on planes with Keith many times. - Oh. - I actually think he doesn't have a problem with it, but it's a good assumption. - I don't know why I assume that. - Hey, he was on them, he was there. - Okay, here's the ball. Nicole, that's, that's all you're getting. I also wrote down some, so if at some point. - This is from our slash no stupid questions. Are therapists who go to therapy allowed to discuss their own patients? - Yes. - They specifically have, I believe they specifically have, like within certain parameters therapists that they go and they discuss. - They can discuss, they're not allowed to discuss your therapy, right? But like, they are allowed to exactly, literally exactly what Shane said, but I'm trying to say it as well. - But that's a good way to discuss it. - But they have a bunch of laws for that, but like, they have a specific, do they get to choose their therapist? - I'm not sure how it works. And it probably is different with different clinics, different fields and everything. I'm not, I'm not, I'm not next to it on this. I would, if I was going to a therapist, I would almost hope that they are discussing things with other therapists that it's not just, within, there are certain things that are private, that are wrapped up with certain laws of like protected, but to discuss situations and things. - Yeah, maybe it's like, hey, I'm working with this patient, but their story is really sitting with me and I'm not feeling great about it, like the human side of me, I'm having a hard time. Like maybe something like that. - Do you know who I want as my therapist? Is in couples therapy, I want Orna's therapist. - Yeah. - She's not her. - You know what? I finally was about to watch it on a plane a few days ago and I decided to watch, once again, the animal documentary stuff, which I've seen maybe three or four times. - You're like, here it is, no. - I always keep the animal stuff on silent and just watch with captions. And I just watch the animals do that. - That's okay. - Sorry, I cut you off like three times. - No, no, no. I just think Orna, the couples therapist, has a therapist and I want that as my therapist. - She's talking about the situations, but she's probably talking about names, probably not everything, but, and like I said, it's probably, it probably varies a bunch. I'm probably wrong about a lot of it, but I'm assuming that was some of the fields there are. - She's saying names either. She's not giving-- - There's things that I think are absolutely protected. - Okay, so my patient's name rhymes with David Bukhavny. - Yeah. - He's really just-- - David Dukhavny. - I have a dumb question. And Damien, I think you're actually the perfect person to have for this. - So, I keep hearing about this on the internet, but are all pigeons technically not supposed to be in the wild? Like, should we be like saving all of them? - There are wild pigeons, but the pigeons that you see in cities and stuff have been domesticated and then abandoned. They are still domesticated creatures. They are, I think it best feral, which means that they've been left to the wild, but yeah, I mean, it's not that we should be saving them necessarily, but we should definitely be treating them kindly, because we used to use them as either, it was either companionship or messaging stuff or some people used them as a food source and what if, well, there's pigeon pie? It's just a little, it's like a little chicken. - So it is. - But, that's so funny. - But I love little pigeons and little birds, and so when people treat them poorly and like, chase them through stuff, throw them, whatever, they're like, they're digging through the trash. It's like, yeah, they don't know what else to do. - Yeah, man, they need food. Like, if everybody let their dogs go all at the same time, you'd be like, ah, these dogs are annoying. It's like, yeah, but we did that. - Yeah, we did that. - Poor guys. But apparently, I think it varies from state to state, but because they are domesticated, I'm not saying you should do this, but theoretically, you can just kind of pick one up and take it home, like you can do that legally. - Whoa, yeah. - Wow. - Literally, you can just, and I've thought about it so much. - Yeah. - Then you got it, that's all I have to take care of. - Yeah. - Gareth, who does our sound, has a two-parter question for, I'm gonna say Amanda, but boys feel free to answer. - How does it feel to have a human grow inside you, and how does it feel to no longer have a human grow inside you? - So how does it feel to have a human grow inside me, and how does it feel to no longer have a human grow inside me? I actually love that question. I think it's a great question. This question is from Gareth from Sound. Very, very bizarre. I'm gonna be completely honest when my son was getting bigger in me, I did have a full-blown panic attack. I had reverse claustrophobia. - Yeah. - Like that feeling that this thing inside me is going to get bigger, and I have no control over it, made me have a full-blown panic attack one night. It was very scary, it was very unexpected, and you literally, and also your body actually gives you like a lot of relaxed hormones when you are pregnant, because it is a very, very bizarre experience. So your body gives you relaxed hormones too, but I think having a human grown inside of me was very hard and weird at first. It felt very foreign, and I felt very, very sick. But then there's like a, people keep saying like, okay, get past this thing. You kind of feel like you're on this journey. It also helps to know like, you do have this feeling of like it's never going to come out. Like it'll never come out of me, but it does. So it's kind of like you're on this kind of journey where you have to give yourself reminders, and then you get to this place, and then it is the coolest thing ever. That's how I experience it. I know everyone experiences differently. Some people hate being pregnant the whole time. Some people love it the whole time. I was like a half-half towards the end. It was like the coolest thing. I felt like every night, I was like hanging out with this new person. I felt this like new connection because they move. - That's so cool. - And they kick, and you feel them, and you feel them in different parts. And I started to actually really love it. I found it to be really, really cool. But you do have to like, you do have to talk your brain down. - Yeah, I can only imagine. - Yeah, and when they don't move, then you get really scared. So it's like every night, you kind of have this special little journey. It's just you and them, and you feel them move, and it's a really special connection. And then when they don't move, you get this like. - You're like, where'd you go? - Yeah. - That's so interesting. - It's really wild, but I will say, having a person child grow inside of you, you do have a raised level of fear. - Sure. - Everything you do is scary. Everything you eat, everything you drink, every fume you're around, everything you put on your body, every-- - Whenever you're smoking cigarettes, you're like, is this bad for you? - When I'm chugging whiskey and smoking cigarettes, I'm like-- - I don't want to be like this. - I'm like, you're really quick. Five unfiltered lucky strikes per day, and that's a hint. - If I stop there. - I got really good at rolling man cigarettes. It was really sick time. - It's a miracle stuff. - It's a American spirit, I roll it myself. - It's actually chill, so don't even worry. It's better for you. - Yeah, but now not having. - And then not having. - Not having? You feel like you're like, woo! - Oh really? - Can I ask a stupid question? 'Cause after you gave birth, did you still feel pregnant or was it immediately like, I'm not? - Oh, interesting. - I immediately was like, I'm not pregnant, but you're still, you're still having contractions after your baby's out. That's the thing. - Oh wow. - How long it talks about that shit? 'Cause when people, I think I learned that, when I learned this, I was like, when people give birth, it's not like, "Oh, and now my stomach's flat and everything." It's like, you're still kind of like. - So your uterus is still the size that held the baby. - Yeah. - And that's the thing that you actually think about all the birthing stuff. And then, so your uterus is still the size. So you actually, when the baby's out, you're still experiencing contractions. - Wow. - And that's, you're bleeding and you're getting your uterus back down to a very small size. So I think the first three months, you don't, you know the baby's not in you, but you feel you're in so much pain. And you're also, your belly is hard. Yeah, and then the nurses come around and TMI, but they like push on your belly. And it is like, they don't say anything. They just go, "Pooh!" And they have to do that. 'Cause otherwise you can get infected. - Oh wow. - Okay, like all this, all the fluid, all the amnionic, all the, all the. - All that while you're. - You'll look it up and you'll go, "This is what it is Amanda." But it has to come out of you. - Yeah. - So I would say after, no one really describes that, but like the after effect fucking sucks. - Yeah. - I do have a probably stupid question, but like. - No stupid question. - Oh damn, normal question, but only for this episode. As somebody who runs into like, and walls all the time, myself, was it a special, huge, special difference not having to worry about a person? - Yes. - Anymore, were you, like, giving everything, like, a wiper, no pun intended? - You know how these cute-ass women who are pregnant have their, like, belly out, and they're, like, wearing the cute little thing? I wanted to do that so bad. I was, like, that's gonna be me. I was so scared of my belly being out like that. - Sure. - Like, I just felt like there was no protection. Like, your baby is right there. The only thing is, like, well, there's actually quite a bit of protection. - Sure. - But, like, your brain, - Right. - And, like, when they told me I couldn't do Moitai, I couldn't ride a bike. - Yeah. - Yeah. - I couldn't, I was like, "Oh, you're just, "you feel like you're, like, a bit of a capsule." - But I also mean more, like, after, when you didn't have the largest stomach anymore, where you're like, "Oh, am I walking way too wide "from, like, around the pole?" - Oh, I don't know. You know what? I will say, I genuinely kind of missed. I missed my belly a little bit simply because I knew my baby was always safe. Like, like, he was so, like, and also, for a while, like, I kind of was like, "I gotta into it." - Was it, like, belly? - Was it weird, like, the first time after giving birth that you could, like, lay down face first on the ground? Like, 'cause you can't. - Dude, I am a stomach sleeper. - Yeah. - That was really hard for me. - Oh, that's crazy. - And you know me, things on Instagram, it's like, it looks like a blow-up float, where there's just a hole for your belly, but some people buy, I seriously considered it. - That sounds kind of cool anyway. - I know. I seriously fucking considered, like, being face-down. - I've got a little bit of a tummy, and, like, not pregnancy wise, but that sounds kinda comfy. - You can shove that little tummy in the hole. - This hole's made for me. (laughing) - Dude, I will say, not having a baby, I was like, the food that I could, I mean, you have to be careful, the cigarettes that you could do. (laughing) - My God, a pack a day. - Yeah, the filters don't help. - Sleeping on my belly block, that was amazing. - That's crazy to think about. - So, yeah, I would say it's so different, and then every baby's different. You can't expect some people get really sick with one, and then they have another one, and they feel fine. - Yeah. - So, yeah, I would say overall half, like a horror movie, and the second half, like a really beautiful. - Wow, sound of music. - Sound of music. - Yeah. - And then the end of sound of music is a horror movie. - We should have sound of music. - Alien Predator, sound of music. - Alien. - Alien. - Alien versus Predator versus Sound of music. - How do you solve a problem like Maria? - Shh. - I've got an idea. (laughing) - All right, we're gonna do a speed round then. - Let's do it. - From Anders, how would you spend your time if you had the mind you have now, but we're in the body of a newborn? How would you spend your time as a newborn? I don't know, man. - Oh my bad. - That's a nightmare. - Tommy time? That would be it. People, if I could go back in time with my brain, I'm like, you want to go back to second grade with an adult brain, and you have to go to second grade. - And talk to second grade. - And you're looking at a teacher that goes, she's so hot. (laughing) - You know what, it's an anime Detective Conan, or Detective Conan. It's about like a guy who's like a mid-20s detective, and somehow he turns back into a kid, and it's him trying to solve crime for a day. - But it's a modern day. - Like he didn't go back in time. - He's just a kid. - I'm talking like, you go back, I go back to 2000, or I go back to 1997 as like a six-year-old, and I'm there, I know everything that's what to happen, and I go, guys, we gotta do some things differently. - They're not gonna shut up for so long. (laughing) - That was suck. Okay, rapid-browned. Here's another one from Anders. Would you rather be one-foot taller or one-foot shorter? - Neither have I accepted my height, Anders. - Yeah, I'm comfortable with who I am. - I mean, I don't wanna be shorter, but also taller. I feel like I'm in that middle ground where either direction of foot is gonna be inconvenient. - Footage a lot. - I guess I would be 6, 10 and 1/2 Jesus though. - I would be five feet. - Five feet ain't bad though. - I don't even know who I would be. - I think that'd be really funny. You as the shortest member of Smosh would be very funny. - That's true. - Now, isn't it crazy to think that if I was, oh, you do it, I'm stuck. - I'm stuck. - Did he ask this question just to put me in this position? - Six. - That'd be funny. - I was gonna say, wouldn't it be crazy that I would still be an inch shorter than Rhett? - Dude, if you were 6'7, the lady you would get would be frickin' noise. - That's so crazy, dude. - Here, that's fucking crazy. Whoa, I didn't know you ball. - Huh, yeah, 6'7. - All right, anyways. - Are vitamins a scam? - No. I mean, you can't process all that a vitamin puts in your body, but you're getting something out of it. - What is Watergate? - What is Watergate? - Yep, from Emily P. - Like a sleuths, main channel. - She didn't know it, Watergate. - It's the name of a hotel where Nixon's cronies had broken in trying to get specific stuff on it. - Stuff that nowadays would be on the news for half an hour. - Literally. - And they'd be like, oh yeah, we don't give a fuck. - We gotta Watergate every day. - It truly, every day something way worse than Watergate happens. And our government's just like, yeah, this is cool now. Yeah, we can't get mad enough for them to do anything about it. I did realize, I was talking to people the other day, sorry, I know this is rapid fire round, but you're looking for stuff. - I'm done. - When people were like, you know, other people are like protesting their government, why can't we do it? And I'm like, it's location. Like if all of us were mad enough all at once, 'cause people were like, oh, there's millions of us and only a few of them, I'm like, great, are we all going to drive to Washington, DC and check into a hotel? Are we all getting flights and sleeping on the street? What do you mean? Like, the U.S. is too big. - Right. - And the last question that will really send us is from no stupid questions. People that yell when they sneeze, is it possible to not do that? - I don't know, I need to ask Courtney that. - No. (laughing) - Courtney, I've told, sometimes it is like, there's like a, it's concussive. (laughing) - I know. I literally know. - It's like a war movie where I wake up and it's like, - Sheesh. - It's like, it's like, sheesh. (laughing) - I don't think I'm going to be like, (laughing) - Get down, get down, get down, get down! (laughing) - We're going to run. (laughing) - You brought me to that scene, but that's a pretty good one. - I am there right now and I want to watch this movie. - It's so real, sheesh, she shocks me. - I'll be driving and she'll be next to me and I'll be like, fuck, sheesh shocks me. - It's fast, too. - It's not like there's a wind up. - It's like, down. - Sometimes they'll just be like, (laughing) - And I'm like, fuck. - I think in general, I don't know for Courtney 'cause, you know, I don't know their life, but in general for people, loud sneezes are loud sneezes, but they do lean into it. - And I understand it. (laughing) - No, I understand it. - They do. - Because it does kind of feel good. Like a good sneeze does feel good. - Well, yeah. - If it's two, it's different than like, (laughing) - And just, but you don't. - You're right, you're right. They say it's one, they say it's one eighth of an orgasm. - Yeah, if you really push. - Yes, they feel so. - If you sneeze eight times in a row, you can get a third of an orgasm. - It's like that. (laughing) - Wait, what did you say? - What's up? - Sorry, what has your husband do already? - He screams. - Oh, really? - Oh, I could see that. - And we got in a little bit like, stop. 'Cause we've, he's done it like walking in a restaurant where he's like, yeah! (laughing) - Like that. - And that's how you get Eastern European music. (laughing) - No, literally, like, stop. And he's like, I have to. - I have to. - I have to do it. And I'm like, you're, he's so leaning into it. But he would say he's not. And then when I go like this (laughing) he'll be like, what are you doing? - That's kind of why he feels like it hurts. - Yeah, yeah, do a middle ground. Just do the Obama like vampire cough sneeze thing that we all learn, and just do it in your arm, and then your far guy. - Anyways. - Anyways, we have to go, which sucks, 'cause we still have so many left. Maybe we'll do it again. - We'll do this again. - Like three for the comments. - Damien, you're awesome. - Awesome room. - Why does Shrek resonate so much with Gen Z? You know, we have so much guys answer these, okay? Why do people visualize clearly when they read while others only see words? What's up with that? - It isn't fascinating to think that people, when I learned that, I'm like at a two on the scale where I can see the flashes of the album. - How does internet Bluetooth work? - Oh, dumb, dumb. - All right, we're outta here. - Live it in my brain. All right, Damien, you're the best. - You're the best, man. - Thanks, Damien. - This is so much fun. Thank you for doing this. I haven't spoken in a day, 'cause of vocal rest, 'cause of voiceovers. And thanks for being the one thing that's awesome. - See you guys later. - Bye guys. - Happy birthday to birthday, bye.