#157 - The Wheel Returns

Hey, welcome to Smoshmouth. I'm Amanda and we have a very special guest, so with us today, oh, also, I did the intro. Shane wasn't supposed to be here, but he desperately wanted to be here and we were like, he was supposed to be away on vacation. But he's here, so. I was away on vacation. You guys just delayed this by a week. But it wasn't because we wanted you in it. I haven't heard another reason. Well, I wanted you in it. All right, our special guest are Chanson Tommy and they really wanted you in it, so we had to change it. They didn't want to be alone with me, it's what they said. Oh, okay. She spanked us. She spanked us. At the back of the night, I did walk into this studio and everyone was like scared. Everyone was acting really nervous. And I was like, in the week that I was gone. Oh, yeah. You're walking really. I would walk around. Yeah, you left and I decided to spank the shit out of everybody. What the hell? And so I would say some are behaving better. That's why HR is okay with it. That's his voice. Look at my guy. He said, "Cross your legs, hide your balls. Yeah, do that." No balls. You can't do that. I literally can't come to sleep. You're just too freaking big. Oh, because he's got big muscles. Yeah, you're big. What are those? No, it's because it's hipster tight. It doesn't feel like my hips though. What are the use? I think it might be my hammy. What are those? Your hammies? My hammy is like blocking it. Well, I got a hammy, but it's pushed to the side. My hammy is not pushing. Like it's not. Maybe it's a length of length of the side. You guys welcome to a new segment on Smoshroth. Guess the diameter of Shane's hammies. Like go. I think your hips are too tight. Maybe it's my hips are too tight. Yeah. I think Tommy also can't do it, and I think it's the length of your hammies. You don't have long, gorgeous hammies like us and me and the boys. Like me and the boys. Oh, that's all right. No, we wanted to hear you here. You're saying like that. Yeah, I said like that. I'll sit like an American girl doll here. Oh my god. Samantha? No. No. I said like this. This is how I sit. Oh. Shoes on the couch. Shoes on the couch. Oh, minor barely there. Anyways, guys, we're playing the wheel game again. Yes. Yes. We love the wheel game. We didn't really. We didn't figure out what the wheel game was last episode. We didn't know the definition. We didn't do anything this time. Yeah. The wheel game. We kind of did the wheel game together. Yes, we did. You heard it. We did cartoon. Try not to burp. What's going on? Do you know what? Try not to burp. Someone holds in a burp. Call them out on it or just let them work through it. I let them work through it. I'll punch it out of them. What I don't, what I don't allow is when someone has like the, the, the, the bubble spit, the bubble. And they're like, yeah. So like, are we in the ballroom? And I'm like, cough. Now. Yeah, cough. Now. I kind of agree. It drives me into, but if someone's like, yeah, and I, I'm like, it's okay. I'm like, it's okay. You're a young type. You have them type. Vapers, lungs. Vapers, throat. Vapers, throat. Like when they are like, it's like crunchy, dark vapor. Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Crunchy and I'm like, Oh, girl, you need some water. You just have to let them work through that. No, I don't. See, the air bubble in my throat, when you're a kid, that's so exciting, because you'd be talking, and then you'd be like, oh my god, I'm not even doing a voicemail doll. This is, and he's just like, you're having a good time. It sucks when you're trying to have a good conversation, but some things occurring. You're like, oh yeah. Oh yeah. Yeah. She listen to mom and I. I have to say every single time I do a cameo, I have to burp. What happens? You should just let it out. It's the, it's the, the clenching of the energy and the non-stop speaking that I've, almost every time I'm like, Hey, and Jennifer, I hope you have an incredible, but, sorry, had to burp. Keep it. Keep it all. Sometimes I burp, and then I'm like, I can't want that. Thank you. Oh, they probably do. You never know. There's four things out there. Can't just leave it all in. Burps, farts. I've never heard chance burp or fart. He doesn't. I can't fart because I sowed my butt hole shut. How many times do I have to tell you guys this? That seems so uncomfortable. Oh, it's the best thing they ever did. And they had anyone on the back of his head. I once, you know, he watched me to Costco hotdog and it came out at the same time he was eating it. He just like this. He goes to the bathroom. He's in a salon. And then he lifts back up and they go, oh, my God, they're like, okay, let me just get a little. They're like, no. They go. Is that okay? Let me clean this up. I went in. Oh, my God. I'm so sorry. Is that okay? Should I soften? Should I soften? Condition your butt hole. They just shave right around it. Oh, they give it a little shake. They give it so he's walking in from behind. He just has one little bald spot and it's just the perfect spot for it. It's gorgeous. So anyways, what are we doing today? We're doing the wheel game again. The wheel game is essentially, here's the deal with the wheel game. It's very hard for me to describe it. Intro it one more time. I wasn't supposed to be here, so you got this. I spin the wheel. I land on a number and then I do a scene with that intensity or so we're going to spin the wheel and no one else is going to know what number that we got. And then we are going to then act out or do something or explain something in a way that is the number out of 10. So the number is like a level. Oh, the number is like level two level 10. 10 is like best intense and one is like worst, not as intense. So if it's like, I'm trying to hide the butt hole in the back of my head and I got like a five. No, I got like an eight. I would like really try to hide it but not so aggressively. Right. And if I got a one, I'd be like, do you want to see the butt hole in the back of my head? Yeah. Yeah. And one of the smiley faces. That means rolling stuff. That's fun. I have to roll stuff to that. Okay. The greens, my face. Maybe. And the yellow to pick your own. Oh my god. Smiley face, you have to tell us something that you're really happy about. And then yellow. Smiley face, you have to spank me. Sorry. Is that me slap you on the back of the head? Amanda will. That's true. That's true. Never mind. Don't do that. On the back of the head. You're spanking us where the hole is. You spank the hole. No stop. Stop. We have to play the game. That's what sounds like. Sound is crazy. I'll guess. I'll spin. Okay. Don't look. I'm not looking. I'm not looking. It's easy to not look. Okay. Okay. All right. All right. So now I guess change it up. Yeah. All right. We changed it up. It's not smiling. All right. Let's do tourist spots in LA. Okay. Tourist spots in LA. Based off of this number. Tourist spots in LA. One being the worst. Ten being the best. Well, everything I think about is that a course would want to go there. It's a one or six. But I don't want to go there. Okay. So you guys are talking about guessing it's already a story with the four stars. Did I nail it? What did you say? What did he said? He said was it? Is it a four? When did you say that? Right now. Just now. Before the Hollywood stars are out. Yeah. I said before the Hollywood stars because you guys are you're struggling. So if I said Hollywood stars, would you say? I would say one. I think walk a famous one. There's nothing to do. This is the issue. This is sidewalk. She said tourist attraction. So if I was a tourist. Yeah. No. See, that's the thing is we should have declared. Are we a tourist? Are we us? Either way, it's a one. Wait, are we us or a tourist? Tourists get there. And they're like, wow, it smells like shit. There's a fat spider-man humping Jesus. Let's say the problem is I don't know. Let's do it for ourselves because it is such a different thing. Like when I go visit a place and I go, oh, I want to see this. Locals are always like, oh, don't do that. I'm like, for me first time here, it's exciting. No, but some things just don't. I'm sorry. L.A. L.A. is a terrible tourist. Guys, so is it us first time here? Let's do it just us. How are we now? How are we? I'm going to save the groove. He already guessed. I know. But I would say the grove because you're going to go there. It's pretty. I don't mind the grove. Yeah, I don't either. But it's not a tent. What are you going to do? You're going to take the lap. You're not going to buy anything. It's too expensive. If you go during the holidays, it's a six. You're right. But-- Because it's like you do the loop. The fiber work is different. I would say for you guys, I would believe like a four or three or four. Right. That's where I'm at. Well, we got it. Well, you got it. Well, you got four. Yeah. I said four forever ago. Was that correct? Yes. Yeah. Oh, wow. Yeah, you were right. Oh, OK. So Hollywood stars. We didn't give it to him. I did it before you guys said a thing. Incredible. Should I go? Yes. Yeah. Look away. I'm not old. I'm young. Nice. OK. All right. All right. You can look again. You can look. OK. Hey. Taurus. We're not doing that category again, please. Cotagory? Cotagory? Cotagory. Cotagory. No. Sorry. She didn't want to watch that. Pick up lines based on cringe. Would that number that you just got? Wait. Pick up lines. So 10 would be the cringiest. Cringy pick up lines. OK. Cringy pick up lines with 10 being the cringiest. OK. Give it to me. I'm a girl at a bar. I lost my number. Can I have yours? It's like not horrible, but it's not great. I started with Hey Chico. Yeah. No. I remember. OK. How about this? How about this? See. Synod. Did you fall down the pretty tree and get hit by every branch? The fuck. It sounds like I'm ugliest. No. You're the pretty tree. No, no, no. But a pretty tree just feels like-- You were on the pretty tree. And you got it on the way down. So now you're like-- No. I'm ugliest. Fuck. OK, well. I got it. It's like you fell down the pretty tree. Are you OK? You should go to the hospital. - Um, shit man. - She ain't, I'm like a girl at a bar. - Yeah, yeah. - Shane's never, I've heard about that. - Shane's never talked to a girl. - He's heard about it. - I've never talked to a girl. - Name a woman. - I don't, this is, this is like the worst guy. - It's like Mary. - I don't know shit about this stuff. I actually don't have it. - He's like, Scarlett Johan. I do not know. - I'm like, ooh. - Marilyn Monroe. - So she based on Chris. - I'm just, you're a loser. - Yeah, I just, - Come on, Shane, look at that face. - Shane just sees the one that he uses. - The chosen doesn't hit on people. He's not interested. - My martini is empty and mommy is thirsty. - Say, say, mommy can I get you another mommy-teany. - Hey mommy, can I get you another mommy-teany? - There you go. - There you go. Okay, and what's our number? - I want to vomit in my butt. (laughing) Honestly, this is giving me like three. - No, no, no, no, no, remember. - It's based on fringe, so. - 10 is cringey, so it's kind of flipped it. - Correct, this is giving me eight or nine. - Pick one of the two. - Pick one. - There's way worse ones, but these are not great. Eight. - Yeah! - You got it. - Wow. - You are incredible. - You are smart, you are pretty, and you think, you're so fucking cool. - Thanks guys. - You had every branch. - That's awesome. - You did it. - Hey, did you hit every brand falling off the pretty tree? So I'm mangled. - Go fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck. - Let's scrape that. - My turn, don't look. - Danek. Danek. - Let's do this. - What if we do superheroes? - Okay, we're locked in. - I said the category now, I'm like, "Ooh, what do I say?" And he knows superheroes. - I was just saying that. - So it's like, and I don't know superheroes. - So it's like, if there's a superhero that I don't know, but I'm like, "Nah, he seems kind of lame." He might think it's cool. - Right. - Or if I think it's cool. - I'm really excited for lanterns. - I think it's lame. - Excuse me? - Lanterns. Green. - What is his name? Lindelhoff is doing lanterns. - Green lanterns. - Yeah, green lanterns. He's doing a series. The guy who did lost and more importantly, Watchmen. - Whoa. - He's doing lanterns. - Whoa! - I actually saw him. - And the left overs. Yeah. - I'm in the left overs. That's show. - Who's tough. - Whoa, that was a hard show. - I loved it though. - This is hard. - And this is based on how you feel about these. - Right. - Show, which is hard because. - I think my general consensus is good too. - Yeah, yeah, yeah. You know a lot about superheroes. - You know what I'm gonna say? - And people might get mad at this might not work. - Okay. - Let's go for it. - Let's go for it. - Superman. - Okay. - I'm gonna say Captain Underpants. - Okay. Now this is interesting because Superman, if we're going on like power dexterity, he's like, he's going through. Like, there's not many people that are gonna stop him, but he's so boring. Like, he's never gonna die. He's never in trouble. Superman's stories are always about humanity not Superman himself because he's always gonna pull through. It's about saving as many of us as he can before he goes out. It's a metaphor for Jesus. So he's boring in that way. - Captain Underpants, hilarious, iconic. Is he a good superhero? Who's he fighting? He's gonna get murked. - Yeah. - Right. - Grime. - Grime. - He's like Teen Titans Go. - I was gonna say, I'm gonna go with my gut, but I know this is now gonna fuck it up, but I was gonna say Ryan Reynolds, Green Lantern. - Wow, okay. - This is really Ryan Reynolds. - Ryan Reynolds. - I would like to lock in my answer. - Okay, it is. - I'm gonna go with two. - Oh, fuck. It was one. - It was one. - It was one. - That was really hard. - That's why I was going for Superman. - Who's the one? - Who's the one? - You said you said lanterns and I was like, fuck, I was gonna say Green Lantern. - Oh no, Green Lantern would've been up there, but Ryan Reynolds, Green Lanterns, definitely lowered it. - Fuck, the one. - No, you didn't. You took Superman exactly as I was pitching. - Okay. - Which is like-- - You killed it. - He's so what? - It's like, so what? - I liked the movie. - Although I liked the movie. - I liked the new movie. - The new movie was cool. - Because that guy's good. I liked him. - Yeah. - He's good and because Lois was such a fun dynamic to see. It's like, oh, they're already together. - Yeah. - Don't have to do the whole thing. - No, to do that. - Awesome. - Just great to challenge him. - Just great to smooth him. - Okay, you're super, but you're not very good at pressing reviews and you're not very good at showing how you should be operating. - Oh, great. Who's your number one superhero that you love? - Ooh, I think I know mine. Who is it? - Awesome. - Awesome. - So good. - I think Miss Marvel, Kamala Khan, Miss Marvel. I was reading the comics when they came out. That was very fun. - I think mine, I'm still gonna go with Iron Man. He's always been, always will be. Was it the midnight premiere in 2008? - Yeah, he's incredible. - Yeah. - He actually is incredible. - Awesome. - I do love Gene Gray. - Oh, that's a good bowl. - She's just so annoying though. She's like, nah, I'm gonna pass out. My nose is bloody now. Like, bitch, put up the force field or don't. - What? - Yeah. Did you ever think about that? I'm sorry, that suits in the store. - Is it weird that my favorite superhero is mothers? Tommy, thanks for having you all. - Wait, nurses. - Thanks for having you all. (laughing) Thanks for having you all. - Tommy, thanks for having you all. - Our Tommy has to guess now. - I'm actually also a big Batman fan. I really do like Batman. - I love Batman. - I like superheroes who get their ass kicked all the time. - Yeah, I love Batman. - But who's a Batman we don't like, casting wise? - There's one Batman that I was like-- - And George Clooney. - No. - Ben Affleck. - Ben Affleck. - I love Ben Affleck. - I think George Clooney is the one. - But I didn't love Ben Affleck's-- - George Clooney doesn't really fit for me. - No. - But I like the nipples. - It's fine. - I loved the nipples. - Yeah. - And that was almost like fun, 'cause it's ridiculous. - Yeah. - Umat Thurman's. - poison ivy? - poison ivy. - Come on. - Are you guys, you guys know anything about absolute Batman? - Excuse? - Yes. - Is that Batman and I? - How about a run, how about absolute Joker, dude? - Absolutely. - So it's a current comic run right now and they were like, what if Batman didn't have any money? What if he was just fully, what if he was a construction worker? And he, they flipped the script where his childhood's completely different and all this stuff and he doesn't come from an affluent family and all everything. And, but, instead of being rich, he's just as buff as humanly possible. - He sounds hotter. - He's like six foot eight in ways like-- - It's a way better lay. - 500 pounds. - Absolute, Joker's like this raptor version of Joker. - Yeah, everybody's messed up. - Yeah. - Everybody's just awesome. - That's fun. - Wait, I kinda like that. - I like that. - Bane is like 30 feet tall. - Bane. - Yeah, people really like it. - Bane. - Oh, it's awesome. I've been reading them. - Bane. - Love 'em. - Uh, Wonder Woman is raised in hell, so she has-- - Finally, some edge terror. - She's like missing an arm and she rides like a flying skeleton horse. - She replaced the armors. - She can like, like, summon like a power demon arm. - That's so cool. - I'm probably getting this like lightly wrong, but the version where she wasn't raised with the Amazon women is like. - Wait, I wanna read this. - She's raised by, is she raised by Persephone? She's raised by, like, a goddess, like, in hell in the middle of the world. - I'm reading Persephone right now. - I'm probably getting that wrong, but it's sick as hell. - Reading meetings in Persephone is smart right now. It's pretty awesome. - You should read Cersei. - I have already read Cersei. - Oh, you have read Cersei. - I love Cersei. - Yeah. - Yeah, yeah, yeah. - The Odyssey. There was practical effects. - Oh, the pigs. - Yes. - With Cersei? - Sorry, no. - The story of the Odyssey. - But Cersei with pigs. If you haven't read Cersei, you have a Cersei by Madeline Miller's one of my favorite books. - Oh, yeah. - It's so good. You know, I got the old school book where it looked like the pages were like ripped. - Oh, that's cool. - That's cool. - All right. - Hey, Tammy. - It's Tammy's guess. - Tammy. - Tommy, do you wanna pick a category? Does there something you want? - Yeah. - Yeah. - All right. It's gonna be an actor, outer one. - Open your eyes. - And this is going to be. - It's not. - I'm here. - I have amnesia, and I just woke up. - I'm so sad for you. - And you're telling me that I rolled my ankle. - Oh, I'm on a scale of 1 to 10, what do you mean? - Sorry, Tommy. What do you mean? - Okay, you rolled my ankle. - Okay, okay, okay. - We just telling you news. - Okay. - Okay. - And 1 through 10 is the news. - Is the news. - Is the news. - Is the news. - Okay, I just woke up from amnesia. - Yeah. - And. - You woke up with amnesia. - I woke up with amnesia. And you're telling me some news. - Okay. 10 being the best news. - One being the worst news. - Oh, 10 being the best news. - Yes. - Okay, I got this. - Tommy. - Oh! - Oh god, oh god. Nurse, nurse, nurse. - Yeah, oh, his voice changes when he wakes up from him. - He's just got a bubble in it. - Just kidding. - Hey. - Tommy. - Tommy. - I know you, I know you've been under for a long time. - You're not in this scene. - And I know you went under in 2020. - What's happened? But the worst of it being Trump is president again. - Okay. - Okay, he. - Shane? - Oh, I didn't realize we're doing like. That we're all together, like. - No. - All three of us. - It was guy go. - Shane, I love that you're committing to. - He was going like. - Well. - Oh! - It was really good. - Okay. Tommy. - Oh! - You're back. - Oh my god. - Oh no. - Oh no. - He's sad to be back. - Tommy. - You know, you've been out for a couple of weeks now. - Water, please. - It's been out for five years. - Yeah, you've been out for five years. - No, I would get you water. But there's no more water in the world, which is a whole different thing. But the doctors say your neck grew by two feet. Your neck is two feet longer and it all hurts way worse. - Um, not my neck, my worst thing, my body. - Yeah. - See, they're saying you're mostly neck now. - Oh, that's really bad for me. - That did just bad for you. - Bad for you, but good for you. - No, no, man. - No, hey, you're not in the scene. - Sorry, so I'm really sorry to tell you that. You're like 80% now. - Oh! - 80% - You're like 80% - And they say it's gonna keep growing. You're gonna be like a giraffe soon. - Oh, it's so nice. - And it's all gonna hurt. That works out for my zoo kink, Amanda. - What? - Tommy. (laughing) Oh wait, hold on. Tommy! - Oh! - Get into cloning. - Tommy, this is, first of all, you've missed so much. Chance and I moved in together. - Congratulations. - And Shane is also living with us. - Oh, no. - Yeah. - In the basement. (laughing) So unfortunately, any like moon-inspired baggy, wild, awesome, cool looking hip, clothes from like Italy or anywhere, any cool clothes that are like big and kind of stylistic and they're like a little like out of this world. They don't exist anymore. All the designers are dead. - Wait, so what was I to do with us moving in together? - Oh, nothing, that was just, that was just a little fun. - So like anything that's like fun, like if you want like tiny, tiny little pockets. - Big gap has taken, big gap has taken over that. - A tiny little, big pocket in the back that looks like it's a circle, like anything cool or head. - Courtney doesn't live with us. We're still married, but she doesn't live here. - Okay, yeah. - She has a whole thing. - We'll tell her about it. - She lives in a mansion somewhere else. - She lives in a mansion now. - I'm betting this is a nine or ten, so. - Okay. - One is the worst thing. - Oh, sorry, I'm guessing this is a two or three. - Okay. - Okay. - Oh, and your feet got lit on fire by accident by a nurse, she came in and dropped a birthday gift. - And you rolled a drink. - You can't rebound it and tried it. - Is it a one? - Yeah. - It's a one. - You can't be like, "Oh, it also actually also." - But there's came a new one. - Happy birthday to you. - No! - Actually, that's the only one you can wake up from a coma, and it's every going, "Happy birthday to. " - So it's a one. - It's a one. - Yes. - Okay. - I think if I woke up from a coma and everybody was around me singing "Happy Birthday," I would try to go back to sleep. - For sure. - I'd be like, I'd be like, "Oh, getting sung happy birthday to is the worst experience ever. I hate it. I really don't like it. What do I do? Sing with you? Do I just, I don't know what to do? - I hate it when we sing to you in your last birthday. - I hate it every birthday. Unless, unless you're harmonizing, and it sounds really pretty. - Oh, wow. - 'Cause you need singers. - I can't. - I need singers. - Oh, I got it. - I always try to harmonize when I'm singing, but you know what? - You do me try, I am. (laughing) - You put your mic down. You bitch, you put your mic down. I will kill your ass. - Anyways. - 'Cause next. Oh, is it me? Oh shit. Okay, I've got it. - Sure, sure, sure, sure. - You have to return, like I'm your waiter, and you are asking to return the food, and a 10 is how badly like the situation is with the food. You're trying to be so polite. - And 10 is really bad. - And 10 is like, as bad as it gets, one is like, oh, it's like the most mild thing. - Okay. - Amanda, you're first. Hey, how are we doing over here? How's the food? - You know what? - We're doing okay. My husband is, he's doing well. - The enchiladas look good. - Yeah. - How's those tamales? - The tamales are good, you know? They're just, the center of them is like a tiny bit, like cold, it's like the smallest amount. - Cold, just. - Like, I don't know if it's frozen. Like, I don't know if it's frozen. I don't know if it's frozen, which is like, - Oh, it's the middle frozen? - Well, I don't know. I mean, you don't know. Did you take a bite? - She can tell, she can tell, she can tell temperatures from her eyes. - You got what? - I'm changing the number. Rich, eat my ass, it's fucking frozen. - Take it back to the kitchen and get me a molten chocolate cake. - Sweetie, sweetie, sweetie, sweetie. - My husband? - I'm sorry. - I'm sorry, she's pregnant. - Get me a fucking cake, that burst in the middle. I want it to melt over ice cream. - No. - You want it to melt over ice cream? Okay, you can do that. It's okay, baby. Okay. - All right. - All right. What are you gonna do for us? (laughing) - All right, yeah, how's the food over here? - This is a chicken patty. This would be turkey. - Oh. - Oh, okay. - He's a simple man. - Wow, that sounds like the worst possible thing that I ever had. - Can I get the chicken patty, please? - I can get the chicken patty. - All right. - Hi, yeah, me and my wife, she's-- - Her turn, she's also my wife. When I ordered the spaghetti with chicken, and she ordered the Alfredo with meatballs, I received spaghetti with meatballs, and she got Alfredo with chicken. - Oh, so-- - You can go swap 'em across the table. - Oh. (laughing) - I think, I did mom what he meant to say is he got the Alfredo with the meatballs, and Alfredo is just being a chicken, and she got the spaghetti with the chicken. - Yeah, that's what we got it. - Oh, that's what we got it. - Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. - That's what we got it. - Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. - All right, yeah. - Okay, I'm gonna put this out of two. - Meets. - It's other one or two. Oh, sorry, sorry. Yeah, 10 being like absolute nightmare shit. Her tamales are frozen. - You said a little bit. - They're frozen. - We change their mind. - In the middle, in the middle. - They're frozen? - Okay, it's like this much frozen. - I would say like out of 10, it's probably like a. - Yeah, shut, shut. - And your patty's completely wrong. - I mean, it's, I ordered turkey. I got chicken. - All right, you got chicken. - And I have two dishes that are almost right. - And his wife is as a burp for maybe like maybe like a three or four. - Okay, which is like those are like, it's not disgusting. It's not like, oh, there's hair in my food. It's just like, oh, there's just kind of incorrect. So I'll say, I'll say three. - Wrong. - It's a four. - Yeah. - Yeah. - Shine, you get one more, you're gonna get angel numbers. (laughing) - You in this mic. - I love it. - Something is happening here. - You got your fucking angel numbers on it. - He's just. - He's just. - It's just. - All right. - Ah. - Oh, it's tomato. - You. (crickets chirping) - Damn, we put some torque on that. - Torque. - Shuffle those bad boys up. Let's do it. - I don't want a one and I don't want a four. - Respin it. - You don't always get what you want. (crickets chirping) - You got a four. - Are you joking? Those are some angel numbers. - It all means we need rest, you guys. That's what four means. - You can look. - What? - What? - Remember Macklemore? What happened to him? - Macklemore. - Um, he-- - And Ryan Lewis. - You guys are composing to Amanda. - Okay. - Macklemore. - Macklemore. - He was a thing. - He was a thing. - Okay. - He thought he was gay. - Dunk, dunk, dunk, dunk. - He's not gay. He's married to a woman. - Dunk, dunk, he was gay. - 'Cause he could draw. - I remember this song. - This is the part of my life. - Yes. - Yes. - Go back. - This is the moment. - Yeah, yeah, yeah. - It's a different song, but it's-- - No, I know, I know. It's probably still good. - Yeah. - Um, what are we doing? - What are we doing? - Prom-posing. - Prom-posing. - We're prom-posing. - Okay. - We're prom-posing to me. - Height horse-ed style dress. - Okay. - And it is lavender. - Amanda. - Wait, 10 being great. - Yes. - 10 is like the best prom-posing. - Oh, there's a lot on her top. - Okay, here's, open this box. - Oh my God, it's such a big box. - Yeah. - Cool and pig shaped little pink balloons flying. - Pig balloons come out. - Pig balloons. - Pig balloons. - Pig balloons. - What is it? - I'll take you to prom when pigs fly. - Are you calling me a pig? - Yeah, bitch, and you fell out of the pretty street, so. - Yo, are you calling her a pig? That's fucked up, man. - That's what I'm talking about. - Okay, a pig fly, like it's a cute little expression. - When pigs fly is means it's never gonna happen. - But they're flying right now. - Because she's the least popular girl in school. Doesn't mean you need to call her a pig. - I'm in it. - I don't care. - Lavender dress. - Amanda. - Call me a pig. Whatever, five times. - She's self-conscious. - She's self-conscious about her little tail. - I don't care. What other people say about you? I don't care that they call you a little pig, wink, wink girl. I don't care that you're so sweaty and you roll around in mud. Okay, I don't care that your hair is so mangled. - My hormones make me sweaty. - And you eat anything, literally anything. - I have no allergies. - I don't care. I want you to go to prom with me. - Okay. Part of me is like, and moving on. Let's go. Get that mic out. - The way you're like. (laughing) - He has a love affair with a mic. He doesn't often have mic. Do you want to be with me or do you want to be with Carl? - Are people just listening to this episode? You have no idea. - You got it. - No, sorry. - Go on YouTube and watch it. - No, they can feel it. They can't prove it. - I'm sorry. We need to be better about that. - So when he's got like the certain levels turned up way high in their car, it's just getting weird like-- - They like ambi-lip against their face. - Their airbag goes off. - Whoa. - That's crazy. - Okay, Tommy. - Lisa, I love you so much. And I want to take you to prom. - Rocky? - Come on out here, guys. And then five guys come out. And they're like, Lisa, hey, Lisa. Go to prom with a guy. This guy, Lisa. And then, and then they do, and then they all start break dancing, they all start break dancing. Yeah, he hit his head like seven times in football. The last thing he remembers how to do is break dance. He doesn't even remember where he lives. He wants his treat to you. I read it. He is in the last thing he saw was that Nissan commercial from 2004. And then again to the shape of your name Lisa, and then I get down on one end of a bunch of flowers. What kind of flowers? The tulips we have on the kitchen that are frayed like jeans, and you're like, how did they do that with the DNA? Those. I thought they were carnations. They can be whatever they want. They are tulips are What color? Scuse what color? Waller matter, hot with pink and the scent. Oh, that's not gonna go with lavender. Okay. Thank you so much. Tommy You're welcome Lisa Lisa. Okay Shane bring us home. Hey Lisa. Oh, oh, it's a coin. Oh. Hi, Mike Mike, it's literally fucking freezing out. I have my door. I know. Sorry. I'm just really nervous Back into my hey, are you are you guys turned on the game? Come back in Lisa Lisa honey who's out the door mom dad hold on one second. There's a guy out here. What? I can't hear you Mike. I can't hear you Smack my butt and fart He doesn't know the lyrics you're a song Tommy Smack my butt and fart is my sleep emotions Smack my butt and fart you feel the explosion Wow, and that's all I got. Thanks so much Mike Who was outside? I don't know just some dumbass kid from my school. He was singing about farts. Yeah, okay What number did you think that was weirdly enough if I were to choose out of three of you I'd probably go with you even though you called me a pig. I didn't Wow, whatever I got my boys to break I would say this is like a three or two Okay, and if you said a number another number what It was something five five it was a five-year five for promposed. You know what five is middle of the road five is just like Cuz this wasn't that bad mine wasn't that bad either. I didn't actually My guy was trying and he found he heard a really good song and then he tried to do it My turn okay my turn See it yeah, okay Um, oh, yeah, do you want a pack? Yeah, what is this question? What's the situation? Okay, um, let's go with Oh my god, okay, here we go. Here we go. Let me take let me think let me think let me think okay. It's a Shake way to the count it is A pep talk before the game before the big game before the big whatever you want okay before the big game over before Actually, we'll say before regionals the pep talk before regional. Okay, that really helped me. All right Oh boys Yeah, listen, yeah, it's hot out there So let's keep up the water intake oh Okay All right, I have a big shit coming and I gotta go I gotta go drop the kids up at the pool Okay, well, it's tied up. This is pretty important Yeah, it is okay, and so is you know my prostate pretty important. I gotta let this all in that all right The kids the kids the kids are the kids You know what I have no idea nurses just go in there and they tell me something wrong Yeah, yeah, I have one with me at all times Okay, you know what I'm saying she's checking it. Yeah, maybe you should go to the hospital. Yeah, we have to go to the hospital I'm gonna go take a dump. Oh, all right. I have to do with your prostate. Yeah, I don't know where my prostate is all right Well anyways Hey, we got we got the shake in someone's hand. We got the tamales coming back out for you and they're looking Listen, hey, I know we're all tied up so let's not keep it tied up Okay, it's coming out Thank you coach. No problem Brett Brett Brett Brett just Brett good name. Okay, thank you. Thank you coach. Of course Jesus come on right a lot and spank my what is it spank my butt in my butt in fart? Why are we so you're spanking and you're farting? Why are we talking? Yeah, yeah, you did yeah, all right next try to tap that I Might not be able to 10 is the best and one is the worst. Yes. Yes. All right ladies We got our big group number coming up. I want everyone spinning The best that they can And you're all ugly little girls. Oh So I want to see you be pretty out there. All right, right Your moms are awful Awful women and I don't want to hear from them. Thanks Abby. Okay Yeah, I was I was doing a day of addition. That's all I got. Okay, great. Thanks so much. Okay, bye Okay, hey champ. What's up, dad? Yeah real proud of you So wow, I love you finally finally here what I love you dad. Yeah Well, yeah, this is pretty cool. This is this is so this is lacrosse. Yeah, I'm gonna make you proud I'm gonna make you and grant proud dad. Yeah Well You know and dad if you can just say you're proud of me. I'll go out there and crush this game This is too hard. I I'm not able to I got a head out Got some work stuff and it's the last quarter dead. It's yeah, you know, but I got some work stuff, but I Sorry, the car has been running for like 20 minutes dad. Who's that? That's my secretary. Look. I got to go Grandpa's gonna watch your game remember pause here the only thing closer to lacrosse is the cross I'm over here. Yeah, are you not you're not seeing grandpa still My god, it smells like cabbage in here. We have to go, babe. All right, son. Good luck Good luck with your basic lentils and cabbage. I'm seriously gonna be sick Okay, what are you going I'm so bad for this kid It's gonna pull this old guy out of the room. Wait, you can't we can't leave this old guy in here. Is this your dad? What was that All right, you know with his ass, he's not actually my dad, but you know, we kind of Alright, I would like to guess to your corral Getting ones and two yeah, the worst situation of all time. That was really really good. So out of it. This is so insane Those farts were crazy the wing from the secretary. Yeah, dad who's this? You promised me a milkshake Jesus. Who's guessing? You knocked one of them. Whoa. How did you do your aggressive push even like took off the number? You know when you're a kid and you have you've so much excitement and you can't we can't see the No, it's too, you know, it's too. You know, it's too crazy to fill in the blank You guys be guys be honest context clue you guys be honest. Do you like cheesecake milkshakes? No, she's cake milkshake They're like cheesecake flavored milkshake. I don't want to I don't want to milkshake cheesecake I was about to say I was about to say let's do desserts for the next. So good Desserts is good no, okay, whose turn is it mine? Oh, oh stop it. Okay, let's move it around now This is interesting because this is interesting because everyone has different palettes I know so I'm trying to think for Tommy. So let's think for Tommy. Okay, think about my palate. I'm thinking about your palate So tennis like the bass I got my I've got my answer. Whoa. I don't I wasn't even thinking or I'm gonna go with I'm gonna go with Brownie For Tommy. Yeah, interesting, um brownie. I like a brownie. I'm gonna take a brownie. I'm gonna take a risk Brownies are good depending you go cuz I don't know. Yeah, I'm gonna thin all ice cream on it or alone I'm gonna go alone. Okay. That's interesting. And 10's really good. Yeah, it's the best I'm gonna go a dark chocolate raspberry Good ganache cake okay What's a grunt. What's a good? It's just like a really. It's like a sticky silky. Yeah, dark chocolate raspberry Like a tort. Yeah, like a slur- like a slurpee tort. Like a gorg slurpee. What is happening? Go on ganache, ganache Silky not ganache. ganache. ganache is the great. ganache is wine. Yeah, ganache is wine. Okay, honestly a raspberry dark chocolate ganache cake. Okay. I see Okay, okay. See sounds good to see okay Like see salt caramel ice cream that has a hard chocolate shell with like a gorgeous like light airy chocolate Cake that's in like a small cute little cup with a tiny little spoon and then a matching like Thin sexy glass that like opens Right, I'm going too hard. Right. It's a seven wall and there's and there's and there's There's like a there's like a port that you don't really know much about And someone pooped but like a little few tables away No, that's not what I said. I am that presentation is there. Okay, that sounds Hi, your sounds pretty good too yours is less So I'm like if I'm putting this together. I feel like it would be a seven or a six But yours sounds like a nine and yours sounds like an eight and yours sounds like a six Maybe a five The port is like so what are you going to choose so like how far away to leave the port alone So how far away to take a bus eight inches away maybe eight feet away eight feet away? Yeah, it's probably An eight them Okay, I was like on the scale of ice creams a 10 I was going too hard. Oh, I was about to go so deep and then you had to pull me back What would it be a ten? What would I better? She got something a flame you truly just I literally got lost. Yeah, I got so lost. You got to get you a dessert Get this woman. Oh, I love this woman a dessert. I'm surprised you didn't add ice cream because Tommy likes ice cream I know but that would be a ten that would be a brownie with ice cream is is not an eight That's like nine nine or ten. I don't know. It's just so ice cream. I want my ice cream is crazy. I want more But like I don't need a fancy dessert But if you can have like a dessert, that's like an ula-la boo ba-ba Look at his shirt. He's an ula-la First once you got into that territory. I was like, oh, well, I should have done right. He wants like tiny little cute little like See where it's for me. I'm like a cookie. That's a nine Wow, that's you know doesn't take much man. It does it. It's about taste It's just you guys know for me. Yeah, I like cinnamon desserts and I like lemon desserts Desserts are good me. I like creme brulee. I love lemon desserts as well I actually prefer that more than like a big honky like okay. I want to know. I want to know carrot cake Oh, fuck me up with care. I like care. I don't like to care. It's like a six or seven for me I like it's like I like it, but it's not super high up What about just what where would a sleeve of Oreos land on the scale? Probably like I Will always go for fun Oreos. Okay. I had the cinnamon bun Oreos recently. I'm not that you like cinnamon So it works for you. Exactly. What is your number one? What is your number one Oreo because my the answer? There is a specific Oreo that is the best Oreo double stuff double stuff well double stuff, but what? Nip plane regular Oh green green the mint one. Dream. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. I know Selena and James agree with me guys It is the Halloween orange Oreos. They are the best what you don't agree Selena. I just like a plane double She said Halloween Oreos are the best double stuff I don't know what it is I don't know what it is sweet pancake BTS Oreos. That's too much. It was delicious No, the Halloween Oreos are the best the Easter like yellow ones are like gross pretty good and then the Christmas ones are good But you just need a little artificial dye. I don't know what it is. They're different. He likes grocery store cake I'm not a big cake guy. I don't like cake That much you know like cake that much not compared to other I don't need their ice cream person But when I take cakes I'm into it. Oh, but when it cakes, but most cakes don't cake. What about a cobbler? I love a cobbler I like a pie. I love a cobbler. I love a pie. I love a cobbler. I love a pie. How do we feel about flan? I? Love me. I'm right. Oh, when Selena made fucking flan. Yeah. Oh, of course my god. Yeah, of course all of these are Not like an American restaurant that's like we do flan. I'm just saying I'll talk about that. I'm not like yeah Where's the fucked up have you guys been? Have you guys been to Alcove and Losfield? Of course Those cheesecakes. I know you're not big on cheesecake, but also I had one of the best pastries of all time I was a rose and pistachio pastry with gold flakes. They're lavender cake. I know Sounds crazy. Yes, it's so good. So fucking good. They're similar colors. They're pretty lean cheesecake. Oh Sometimes some colors your course to same colors my corset away from me and I'm not going to prom what Sometimes like when the when the flavors get a little too fancy. I'm just like it's preling. It's just a kind of fan. I'm gonna bring you a slice It is you go. I'm sure. Yeah, I will. He is an American boy either he wants a chocolate chip cookie How do we feel about a root beer float fill the feel about? Yeah, I'm not in on the root beer float really It's like okay. I'm in I would rather have so many other things. I'm in whatever What root beer because there's mods go with barks. There's oh in I'm in to bark. Yeah, barks is that's my and W has my sugar free Okay, here's what I do but barks. I would have a blondie brownie a Vanilla bean ice cream and a root beer reduction. That's warm that I pour over the top. Okay, that's delicious Shane can't get behind that because you said no, I'll get behind that. It's a lot of that is context-based, right? Right something in root beer float. I'm thinking like I'm out at a park. Yeah, like you're out But if I'm that I'm like then it's got to be nighttime. Sure Yes, I'm at a fancy place then sure But when I'm thinking of desserts most most of times when I end up at does with desserts are not at restaurants I'm usually like out somewhere like whatever like the last time I had like ice cream like I was just out in a town in Colorado Walking around and I got some frozen yogurt Sure, it was incredible. Yeah, I don't order dessert usually at restaurants unless they have like something weird or interesting Yeah, like I love the stashio or rose or like a custard Yes, yeah, I'm we have similar palette. Yes, we do. That's why we share food and we go. I'm pretty patient stuff All right, every time I will eat anything. That's Go go go eat the fancy stuff Go go go. Okay, so we go back to the game. Yeah, buy to the table. No, I think Shane's still working Desserts was a good music. Oh, it's Shane. Oh, I see yeah, it's Shane's turn. Okay Okay, six stop it now What is your topic? I get an arch nemesis like an arch nemesis shows up That I have to I have to fight like okay Or maybe like yeah, and so 10 being like oh shit This is a really challenging cool arch nemesis and one is like an arch nemesis Then I'm like you're gonna. I can't believe I have to fuck it Not that I'm like gonna be made up or yeah, I mean anything like you show up and you get to be my like super villain Oh, shit, I get a super villain and so like 10 is like oh shit They're formidable and also cool. Okay. Okay. One is like this sucks like Your arch nemesis that is this number is shadow Shane That's really good. He is exactly you but come complete complete shadow God that's so say red eyes and he can Create weapons with his shadow smoke sick. Yeah It's almost like a perfect like this The sonification of like you know like it's like the darkness in your soul like yeah facing I have to face myself Yeah, exactly like yes It's like your temptations and everything like that's really fucking sick. Oh He loves a complicated dessert. Whoa. Whoa. That's really good. That's funny. In many ways he is the opposite of me But in many ways he is also the same as me. Whoa Wow, I mean I'm not good enough topping that honestly. Yeah, that's good. I was honestly so sick. I learned what I was gonna do fast. All right This is machete Shane well It feels derivative fine fine fine. This is This is you can do a machete Shane. No, no, no, no, let's hear it. This is hot woman like you're like okay, okay. Yes, keep going keep going. Okay. This is Jessica rabbit - Jessica Rabbit. - Jessica Rabbit. - Rabbit, Rabbit, Rabbit, Rabbit. - Jessica Rabbit. - Jessica Rabbit. - Jessica Rabbit. - Jessica Rabbit. - Jessica Rabbit. - Did Nero. - Jessica Rabbit. - Jessica Rabbit comes in. - Jessica Rabbit down in junior. - Rabbit comes in. - Jessica Rabbit. - Yes. - Yes, she has Courtney's voice. - Okay. (laughing) - Again, this isn't supposed to be a nemesis. This is supposed to be a nemesis. - And she comes in and she's like, help me. (laughing) - And she needs your help. But every time you get closer, she has machetes. (laughing) - machetes pop out of every joint in her body. - Listen. - You must be following this. - That's literally the whole thing. - Jessica Rabbit. (laughing) - Jessica Rabbit. - Jessica Rabbit. - That's your wife's voice. And she's like, oh, help me, Shayne. Like, I'm in trouble. And every time you go to help her, she has machetes. - This sucks. (laughing) - See, so Tom is hurt. - Okay. - Tomi's had me going like, oh, is this like a nine. And yours has me going like, oh, are you okay? - Shut up. (laughing) - Here's what my original was. But it's too close to Tomi's. I was gonna do mirror Shayne. Where it's like literally, it's a bunch of mirrors. And every mirror, every reflection that comes back is like you as your younger self. - Okay. - That's what I was gonna do. But, fuck it, that person's dead. - Instead you can. - Because Jessica Rabbit with machete arms killed. - Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. - How about this, how about this? - Shayne's help. - Chance, she doesn't. - She doesn't. (singing) - I am. - Before you face Mother Gaea, you must face me. The father of time, chronos. - This comes out. - Mother Gaea. - Yeah, she's like the mother. - Her mother. - Her mother. - She comes out. - He's like, he's a fucking Titan by the way. - He's like, he brings out his huge fucking sight. He's like, (singing) - Yeah. - Oh, reverberation through time. Oh, shake all of you. - Don't. - And he's standing before you. - Holy shit. - She didn't know I could use a soundtrack. - Doing a Titan. - Well, Jessica Rabbit has fucking heels and machete. - Don't, don't, don't. - This somehow a 9 or a 10, which is crazy. - Which is crazy. - I had to like offset what was going on. - Yeah, you gotta do it. You have to bring out. - You guys don't get it. - Yeah, one of the biggest arch nemesis in like, all of mythology. - Right. - Yeah. - I'm gonna go with 10, is it 10? - Oh. - It was nine. - It was nine. - It was nine. - If you stuck with me. - Right out on the back. - Yeah, no, but chance you had no choice because I'm in to do that. - That was so good. - What did you want me to do? Like fucking Odysseus with machete on her? - You could have done, you could have just been like, - There's a lot of things to have chosen. - Your building is like a super strong, like awesome guy. Like you could have just done it. - She was super strong, but she kept being like, I need your help. - No, she was strong. - And then you got closer. - And she was kind of like, "Help her, she's super strong." - She was manipulating you. - Okay, Jesus Christ, that's such a bad thing to do. - You know what? - Spin. - Spin. - Is it me? - Yes. - This is Amanda's new catchphrase. - What? - 10 being a really awesome catchphrase. - Okay. - One being a really bad new catchphrase. - Okay, okay. - This is my new catchphrase. - Do we like that? Do we don't have to do that? - I love it. - I like that. - Okay. - This is my new catchphrase that I say around the office. - Yeah, and in videos, like this is a great, the new thing like-- - Like cool. - When fans think of like your quote, like this is the Amanda quote. - Okay, here it goes. - 10 is cool. - Here it goes, here it goes. - Okay. - Looks like girly pops on girly top. (laughing) - I actually kind of like that. - Oh. You know what I realized before? - Am I going to like all of these? Probably. - For people listening, they don't get to see the number so they have to guess along. - Yeah, that's fun. - That is kind of fun. - And someone driving their car to work just through up, so. (laughing) - girly top. - That's pretty cool. - Okay, I'm getting some vibes. - I'm scared mine's gonna be. - Just do it. - Well, mommy like me. - And I'm mommy. (laughing) - I can understand why this is going. - It feels great. - It's just a rabbit territory. - It's very awesome burger. - Yeah. - Random burger. - Random burger. - Awesome sauce. - Ox sauce. (laughing) - This is whenever like someone like me or like someone does something that annoy-- - The port comes from wise. The smart way to manage the currencies you need around the world. Your life is global. Your money should be too. Some providers promise no fees on overseas transfers. Don't be fooled. Extra costs often hide and bloated exchange rates. Choose wise. You can send, spend, and receive money in over 40 currencies. Count on the exchange rate that you'd usually see on Google. That's how millions save billions on hidden fees. Be smart. Get wise. Visit wise.com. T's and C's apply. - I'm getting pretty upsetting spaghetti right now. - I'm sick to my stomach right now. - I feel like we're under. - No, there could be worse. - Yeah. - Can we go one more round? - Yeah, of course. - Okay, okay, okay. - Mommy like you and I'm mommy. - Pretty good. - I think she's going to start doing that. - Spread the love. - Not the hate. - Oh god. - Feels like a college poster or five. - I got it. Yeah, that's right. - Okay, I kind of like that one. - Just grab it. - Territory again. - Love it. - You can't hide. I didn't hide. Just grab it, machete arms. Fan art. - Let's just grab it. - Spread the love. - Or the strawberry jam. - Ew! Farmers market. - This is like kind of your sign out and you'll just be like, all right guys, peace out. - Okay, yeah. That feels right. - See, that's making me want to go like six. And you guys are making me want to go like three or four or five. - Just pick one number. - No, or seven or eight or nine or ten. - I'm saying three, whatever. - Yes, you got it. - Yay! - You got it. Well, which one are you picking? What's your new phrase? - I think I'm mommy like you and I'm mommy. Sounds like something I would say and people would go. - I would say. - Ew. - Yeah. - Okay. - I will close my eyes. - Hello, it's your eyes. - Let us see what he picks on the wheel. Do it again. - A smiley face. You can't do that. - Okay. The category is you're breaking up with me. - Ten is the best break up. One is the worst way to break up with her. - Damn. - Is that a good prompt or should I give you another one? - It's a great prompt. - It's a good prompt. - It's challenging. - Take your time in the intro. I will sing. - There's no food. - I know this isn't the best time. - Thank you. - Thank you. - Shayna's cried three times this time. - You're up for that. - Literally. And then he went. - I think, Shayna, everything is when you gear up for something. - You take so long. - You have not like all of this mic since he sat here. I just want everyone to know. He loves it. - You're just like, okay. Hold on. - Because I'm going for the possibilities. I'm not just doing something on it. - You're doing the Dr. Strange that we're like, we're going through all of the 14 million possibilities. - Which one's the funniest pick? - Like only one. (laughing) - Oh, oh, we're cringe. - Hey, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. - Okay, go ahead. - Girlie pops on, girlie pops on, girlie pops. Okay, let's go. - That one's good. - So, um, hi Tommy. - Hey, what's up? - Yeah. - Oh, no, we've been having a lot of fun and enjoying our time, but I just started to take you off of the karaoke stage just then. - Oh, you're good. - And I just, um, pick the next guy, pick the next guy. - I'll say, yeah. - I just feel like 20 minutes. I just feel like it's important what we talk about this, um. - Is everything okay? - Yeah, not really. I, I just am not the biggest fan of you singing. - Oh. - And I think, I think it's over between us. - Wait, whoa, whoa, whoa, sorry. - Wait, what? - I'm really sorry. - Because of my singing? - Yeah, that's, it's, I'm really sorry. - Tommy, that's crazy. You understand that's crazy, right? - No, I gotta go and I'm really sorry. - Go. - I got, I'm, we're breaking up. - I'm sorry. - In this bar right now? - Yeah, but we're waiting on drinks. - Can we go outside and talk? I'll close my tab right now. - I'll cover the tab. - Oh, ma'am. - Sorry, I'm in the middle of a song. - I gotta go. - You guys get off the stage. - Bye. - What? You stole my bike. - Wow. - That's, oh my god, shit, I didn't an explosion. Okay. - Okay. - I left was not part of the number. - Got rid of that. - I was just a fun little extra bit. - Okay. Okay. Hey, Chance. - Hey Dennis, what's up? - So I'm Tommy. - You look so Dennis. - Dennis, look, I've been having such a great time with you. - Yeah, me too. - It's been awesome. - But I think, I think she's not really working out for me. I think I'm just not feeling it. But I hope we can still be good friends. - Wait, whoa, whoa, whoa. - Yeah, I'm just, I'm sorry, I like, I'm just going through a lot. - Oh no. - I just feel like I'm not feeling like that this is going on the way. But, hey, so I know we all, we had those, I know we had those tickets to go see. - Yeah. - Third eye blind. - Yeah. - I was wondering, would it be okay if I took someone else to, took those tickets, yeah. - Babe, I've been literally waiting in the car for like a minute. - Take it, I got this. - Yeah, yeah, yeah, well, I mean, I can, I can Venmo you with a little crash in here. - Maybe, but we can figure that out later. - Okay, you know what? - Yeah, and thank you for being so forthright. - Yeah, of course. - It didn't work out and that's fine. - Yeah. - Thank you for not like leading me on and stretching this out. - Yeah, for sure. - All right. - We go. - Yeah, I'm gonna go. - We're gonna go to this. - It's literally tonight, so I hope you have other plans for it. - Yeah, 'cause I don't want. - Oh, I'm gonna get some, I'm gonna go. - I'll see you later. - Yep. - Let's go. - All right, all right. - I got it. - Literally the boringest conversation I've ever experienced. - Gotta get to my son's little cross game, all right? - Boring, okay. This is a big plate of nonchalance. - Oh, oh, too big plate of nonchalance. - Jesus. - Oh, great. - Oh, God, it took forever and I tri- Oh, no, when I tripped. - Oh, fuck! - Oh, fuck, oh, no. - Oh, baby, it's fine, it's fine. - Oh, fuck, oh. - Claire, Claire, it's literally fine. - No, there's not just everywhere. It's okay, I'll go upstairs and change. - Oh, my God. Yeah, go upstairs and change 'cause I made these in the microwave, they're probably really hot. - Yeah, oh, wow, they are really hot, I just noticed. - Yeah, um, man. - You're probably gonna need to change, back at your house. - Oh, what do you mean? - Your stuff? - Yeah. - I put it in a bag. - Why would you do that? - I can't do this anymore. - Um, like, they're not just-- - Apparently, us. - Oh, um, is there a reason? - I just need to be free. Like it's actually like very me thing. - Yeah. - I just feel like-- - I'm also a part of this relationship, right, so. - Yes, of course, you are. You're a part of this, and I really am super sorry. But like I didn't want you to have to like, have it be awkward and go up there and pack up all your stuff, just like packed up your stuff at a time. - Do notches at me. - No, no, I literally tripped on the cat toy. - Oh my god, I thought you would like do notches at me. - Okay, that would be crazy. - I would never. - Okay, great. Okay, um, yeah. - Chance, I was gonna call you babe, but that feels like disrespectful. - Well, we've been dating for three months, so I don't think that'd be crazy. - Yeah. - Yeah. - So I have to end this. - Okay. - Such a bummer. - I'm gonna take the cat though. (baby crying) - You know what? - Oh wow, you're gonna get the cat right now. - Give me like a day to think about it. (laughing) - Okay, yeah. - And you can stay as long as you want to clean that up. You don't have to like rush out. - I'm cleaning up the notches that you spilt. - You get a tie to go pen. - How about I think about cleaning up the notches for a day? - That's crazy. You're gonna sit in that for a whole day. - Right. - Right. So I'm gonna guess, like, wait, 10 being the best way. - Yeah. - Yeah. - I'm gonna guess, I'm gonna go four. - Yeah! - Yes! - Oh my god! - We did it. - I just wanted mine to be really. - Did you date guys like that? At any point, like when you're a teenager in college, 'cause-- - What do you mean like that? - Just the way that you were, that guy was operating, I just am like, man, you had to know a guy like this. I don't know if I've dated a guy like this, but I've definitely had friends who have dated a guy like this. I just know this guy. - Yeah, he's very one of those guys. It's like, oh. - 'Cause you played that guy so well. - Thank you. - And you played that guy a lot. I feel like multiple characters throughout Baff Legacy with that guy. - Oh yeah. - Well, that guy's a little, he's a little 30er. - Oh, that guy know very well. He's just like, - Yeah, I hate that smile. - I know those guys. Yeah, I definitely have dated one of those guys way back in the day. I haven't really met those guys out here though. Those were like-- - That's not the type of shit guy. - Those are back home. - Yeah, that's not the type of shitty guy you get in LA. - No, the shitty guy in LA is-- - The problem is like-- - I don't know, I think it might be worse. - I think they are worse in LA, because they have like the façade. They have a better façade. - They're two stars. - The back home, you're like, okay. - They know what's going on here. - Yeah. - But here in LA, they're-- - Don't pretend-- - Wolf in a sheepskin. - Yes, exactly. - Or Odysseus in a lion scan. (laughing) - I am hopeful. - And I am polypamous. - Pamous? - Pamous? - Polypamous. - Polypamous. - Polypamous. - Polypamous. - Anyways. - That was really good. - That was a challenging one, I would say. - That was actually quite a challenge. - Yeah. - These were all very communicative. It wasn't like fucked up, but it was just like, I mean a little more explanation and I'm not getting that. - Yes. - It was like, oh, it's a decent breakup, but they're just shitty-ass. It was like, it's like, we're very one-sided. It's, I'm taking care of myself without regards to how it relates to you. - Yes, and it's right now. - And it's immediate. It's like I can just cut this relationship off whenever I want to. - So what would a one-beat, a text? - A block, a full-on. - One is a full-on like, a fair and a leaving for that person and they're like, you're losing a bunch of shit props. One would be like, this is my new boyfriend, come on in. - Yes. - He looks like you, but hot, you know? I'd be like, okay, well. - Wait, that literally happened to me. I was dating this guy and he was in town and he had a date when he was moving and he moved back to South Carolina. We were talking about doing long distance. We haven't really talked about it, but we didn't talk about, like we were kind of separated. Like it was just like he was moving. So it was like, we weren't gonna be together. And then two days after he was like, I'm gonna miss my boyfriend on Instagram, he posts. I'm gonna miss my boyfriend. Mind you, we've been dating for like, we've been going on dates and going like, baby showers and shit for three months. It's been a while. We're spending a lot of time together. Like I'm meeting his family. I met his mom and his sister. - Oh, wow. - And then he posts the next day, my beautiful boyfriend who looks just like me. He's like light skin, half black curls, crazy eyes. And I was like, I felt so stupid. I felt so dumb. But it was, that's a whole thing. - How would you know? And then you feel so dumb. - Isn't that crazy that that's your first thought as like you feel so dumb? But literally, how would you know? - How did you know? - And how would you expect that? - No. - Yeah. - Also, fuck him. He posted it. - In their grandma. - He posted it. - Wild. - Did you do anything? He truly took all of you and mapped it onto this new person. That's the only way. - Did you say anything? - Yeah, of course. - Yeah, you called him out. - I did, he just not care. - He was like, I'm sorry, like I'm sorry, I'm sorry. I'm like, I know, and it was just like, it was just like a blatant, like, I know that I was doing wrong. I know what I did, I'm not lying about it. - He's just like, I know, I'm sorry. - And then, I was close with his friends. And his friends were like, yeah, we knew the whole time. You knew the whole time. - Oh, oh! - Hello. - Oh, we'll fuck all of them. - Right. - And now they're all in LA. They all move to LA. - Let's find them. - And they're like, let's be body body. - This is before us, I don't smell anything. - No, no, no, no. - Are you willing to get in? - Yeah. - I'll just get cast and shit. - No. - We were doing the short film. - They were doing the short film. - Can you come do that? - We fucked you over earlier, but I can't. - No, the fuck I can't. - What? - No, be like, they already have me. I'm right here. - Right. - Oh, well, it's not the boy for any wants to get cast. It's the friends. - No, yeah. - All right, Farts. - I'm sorry. (laughing) - Actually, yeah. - Okay, let's do it real quick, 'cause we gotta go. - All right. - Wait a minute. - Okay, it's a fart and a goodbye. What, is there a number on the board? - Spin it again. - Who's looking? - Wait, yeah. Tommy, right? - Tommy, it's my thing that I can't-- - Okay. - Okay. - Got it, okay. - All right, so what's the scale here? - Ten is like really, wait, yeah. - Ten is like, you need to go to the hospital and I feel like I need to turn this video off immediately. Number one is, LOL, that wasn't even a goodbye. - Okay. - It's fart goodbye, it's a combo. - Okay. - Okay. - It's fart goodbye. - It's fart goodbye. - Spank my ass. - No, we can't top that old man Farts. - I think, I think we got, here we go. - All right, do you want me to go first? - Yes, please. - All right, I'll see you later. (blows kiss) - That was good. - Okay. - Yeah, okay. It's a light. Go on. - Mommy, like he. (laughing) And I'm mommy. (blows kiss) (laughing) - Okay. - Okay, okay. - Hey guys, thanks for watching Smosh Mouth. I'm Chance. (blows kiss) (laughing) - It's pretty fucking good. - That was awesome, that was well done. - Okay, is it? - Really good. - It feels like a two. - Got it. - Yeah! (cheering) - Okay, hold on. - Spank my ass in fart and feel the explosion. - Okay, I'll do it, I'll do a send off with this one right here. - Yeah, do a send off. - With this one right here. - Okay, hospital. (laughing) - Go, go, get out! (blows kiss) - Oh, fuck! (laughing) - That sucks. - Oh. - He loved it. (laughing) - Jesus. - Do what I love the most is go get out. - So ending a video with go get out. - So I'm warning you so hard. - Like a ship is sinking, go! Get out! - Imagine you walk into a public restroom and there's someone in a stall and they yell that out. - I would get out. - I would get out. - I would get out. - I would get out. - I'm gone. - Get out. - I'm gone. - I would die laughing if you're in an airport bathroom. - Oh, get out, it's crazy. - Let's go. - Go! Get out! (laughing) (snoring) - Yeah! - Stop, I'm gonna die, I'm gonna die. - Okay. - Okay, wow, guys, that was Smoshmouth. The wheel, part two, the wheel returns. That was so fun. - That was a good one. - I never won a tent. - What a great time. - Yeah, thank you, Chanson Tommy, for being amazing. And thanks Shane for being here. - Yeah, you know? - It's good to have you back, actually. - Yeah, thanks. - You're welcome. - All right. - Go! - Go, get out! - Get out! (upbeat music)