#157 - The Wheel Returns

hey welcome to Smosh Mouth I'm Amanda and we have a very special guest with us today oh also I did the intro Shane wasn't supposed to be here but he desperately wanted to be here and we were like he was supposed to be away on vacation finally but he's here so I was away on vacation you guys just delayed this by a week but it wasn't because we wanted you in it I haven't heard another reason well I wanted you in it all right our special guests are Chance and Tommy and they really wanted you in it so we had to change it oh they didn't want to be alone with me is what they said oh okay she spanks us she spanks us oh whoa I did walk into the studio and everyone was like scared everyone was acting really nervous and I was like in the week that I was gone oh yeah you're walking like I was walking around hey Shane yeah you left and decided to spank the shit out of everybody what the hell what the hell I will say we are behaving better that's why HR is okay with it look at these boys look at my cross your legs hide your balls yeah I can't do that no balls you can't do that I literally can't comfortably like just too freaking big oh because he's got big muscle yeah you're big one of those no it's because his hips are tight it doesn't feel like my hips though what are these I think it might be my hammy wait what are those your hammies hammy is like blockage it well I got a hammy but it's pushed to the side my hammy is not pushing the like it's not maybe it's a length of length of your hammy to the guys welcome to a new segment on Smosh Mouth guess the diameter of Shane's hammies like oh I think your hips are too tight maybe it's my hips are too tight yeah no I think Tommy was right I also can't do it and I think it's the I think it's the length of your hammies you don't have long gorgeous hammies like us in the like me oh that's all right no we want to do you stay like that yeah I sit like that I'll sit like an American Girl doll here oh my god Samantha no no I sit like this this is how I sit oh shoes on the couch shoes on the couch oh mine are barely there anyways guys we're playing the wheel game again yes yes we love the wheel game it's so fun we didn't even we didn't figure out what the wheel game was last episode we don't know the definition we didn't do anything this time so yeah the wheel game we kind of did the wheel game together yes we did a year ago we did cartoon what's going on when someone holds in a burp do you guys call them out on it or just let them work through the process I let them work through it I let them work through it I'll punch it out of what I don't what I don't allow is when someone has like the the the bubble the bubble and they're like yeah so and I'm like cough now yeah cough now I kind of agree it drives me into but if someone's like yeah and I I'm like it's okay when you were young vapors lungs vapors throat throat like when they are like it's like crunchy Darth Vapor is good yeah yeah yeah yeah crunchy and I'm like oh girl you need some water you just have to let them work through that no I don't see yeah the air bubble in my throat when you're a kid that's so exciting because you'd be talking and then you'd be like oh my god I'm not even doing a voiceover it's like when you're trying to have a good conversation but something's occurring you're like oh yeah I have to say every single time I do a cameo I have to burp what happens you should just let it out it's the it's the the clenching of energy and the non-stop speaking that almost every time I'm like hey and Jennifer I hope you have an incredible burp sorry had to burp keep it keep it all sometimes I burp and then I'm like they can't want that they oh they probably do you never know there's some freaks out there chance just leaves it all in burps farts I've never heard chance burp or fart well he doesn't I have I can't fart because I sewed my butthole shut how many times do I have to tell you guys this that seems so uncomfortable oh it's the best thing I ever did I made a new one on the back of his head I was you know what he watched him in a Costco hot dog and it came out at the same time he was eating it he's just like this he goes to the he goes to the bathroom like he's in a salon and he lifts back up and they go oh my god they're like like okay let me just get a little they're like no they go is that okay let me clean oh my god I'm so sorry is that okay should I soft condition your butthole they just shave right around it oh they give it a little they give it so he's walking in from behind he just has one little bald spot and it's just the perfect spot for it it's gorgeous so anyways what are we doing today um so we're playing the wheel game again the wheel game is essentially here's the deal with the wheel game it's very hard for me to describe it intro it one more time I wasn't supposed to be here so you got this I spin the wheel I land on a number and then I do a scene with that intensity yes so we're gonna spin the wheel and no one else is gonna know what number that we got and then we are going to then act out or do something or explain something in a way that is the number out of 10 so the number is like a level oh the number is like a level two level 10 is 10 is like best intense and one is like worst not as intense so if it's like I'm trying to hide the butthole in the back of my head and I got like a five no I got like an eight I would really try to hide it but not so aggressively right and if I got a one I'd be like do you want to see the butthole in the back of my head yeah yeah what are the smiley faces uh that means there's 12 12 slots you have to roll up to that okay the green smiley faces maybe you get to pick your own oh my god smiley face you have to tell us something that you're really happy about and then yellow smiley face you have to spank me sorry so does that mean slap you on the back of the head amanda will actually that's true never mind don't do that on the back of the head it's because spanking is where the hole is the hole no stop stop we have to play the game we have to play the game that sound is crazy I'll guess I'll spin okay don't look I'm not looking I'm not looking it's easy to not look okay okay all right all right so now I guess change it up that yeah all right we changed it up it's on the smiley all right tourist spots in LA tourist spots in LA based off of this number tourist spots in LA one being the worst ten being the best okay everything I'm thinking of is I'm like that's actually a one well everything I'm thinking about is that a tourist would want to go there it's a one or it's a six but I don't want to go there okay so you guys are talking about so I'm guessing it's already is it a four did I nail it what did you say what did he said was he said is it a four when did you say that right now just now before the Hollywood stars or after I said before the Hollywood starts because you guys are you're struggling so I'm like so if I said Hollywood stars would you say I would say one I think walk of fame is a one there's nothing to do guys this is the issue it's a sidewalk with shit on it she said tourist attraction so if I was a tourist yeah no see that's the thing is we should have declared are we a tourist or are we uh either way it's a one wait are we us or a tourist get there and they're like wow it smells like shit there's a fat spider-man humping Jesus let's say the problem is I don't know let's do it it is such a different thing like when I go visit a place and I go oh I want to see this locals are always like oh don't do that but I'm like for me first time here it's exciting no but but some things don't I'm sorry terrible tourist guys so is it us first time here let's do it just us house right now how we I'm gonna say the Grove he already gets I know but I would say the Grove because you're gonna go there it's I I don't mind the Grove yeah I don't either it's like a 10 what are you gonna do you're gonna take the lateral you're not gonna buy anything it's too expensive if you go during the holidays it's a six if you go during the holidays a six you're right but because it's like you do loop the I would I would I would say for you guys I would believe like a four or three or four right well that's where I'm at well we got it so I got four yeah I said four forever ago was that correct yeah yeah oh wow okay you were right okay so Hollywood stars we didn't give it to him I did it before you guys said a thing incredible oh wow guess I go yes yes yeah I'm away this episode of Smosh Mouth is sponsored by Shopify I don't know about you but I love seeing a small business take off it's just so exciting to see someone who has an idea and then they make it happen how inspiring you know Smosh did that just two guys making videos and look at us now I have my own podcast don't tell Shane that I said that but it's mine if you're looking for growth you have to use Shopify Shopify is an all-in-one e-commerce 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Now back to the show. I'm not old, I'm young. Okay. Nice. Okay. You can look again. You can look. Okay. Hey. Tourist. We're not doing that category again, please God. Category? Oh my God. No. Sorry. Jesus. What about pickup lines based on cringe with that number that you just got? So 10 would be the cringiest. Cringy pickup lines. Okay. Cringy pickup lines with 10 being the cringiest. Give it to me. I'm a girl at a bar. Oh God. Hey Chica. I lost my number. Can I have yours? It's like not horrible, but it's not great. I started with hey Chica just so you know. I remember. How about this? Si, senor. Did you fall down the pretty tree and get hit by every branch? What the fuck? It sounds like I'm ugly as fuck. No, you're on the pretty tree. No, I know, but a pretty tree just feels like you were on the pretty tree and you got it on the way down, so now you're like mangled. So now I'm ugly as fuck. Okay, well. Okay, got it. It looks like you fell down the pretty tree. Are you okay? You should go to the hospital. Shit, man. Shane, I'm like a girl at a bar. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Shane's never, I've heard about that. Shane's never talked to a girl. He's heard about it. I've never talked to a girl. Name a woman. I don't, this is like the worst category for me to get. He's like very. I don't know shit about this stuff. I actually don't have. He's like Scarlett Johansson. I do not know. I'm like, ooh. Marilyn Monroe. Pretend you're a loser. Yeah, I just. Come on, Shane. Look at that face. Shane just used the one that he used. The Chosen doesn't hit on people. He's not interested. My martini is empty and mommy is thirsty. Hey, mommy, can I get you another mommy teeny? Ew. There you go. Okay, and what's our number? I want to vomit in my butt. Honestly, this is giving me, like, three. No, no, no, remember. It's based on cringe. Ten is cringey. Sorry, sorry, sorry. Correct. This is giving me eight or nine. Pick one of the two. Pick one. There's way worse ones, but these are not great. Eight. Yes! You got it. Wow. You are incredible. You are smart. You are pretty. And you hit every branch. You are so fucking cool. Thanks, guys. You hit every branch. That's awesome. Hey, did you hit every branch falling off the pretty tree? So I'm mangled? You look fucked up. Scraped up. Okay, my turn. Don't look. Don't look. Let's do. Locked in? What if we do superheroes? Sure. Okay, we're locked in. I said the category, and now I'm like, ooh, what do I say? And he knows superheroes. I was just saying that. So it's like, and I don't know superheroes. So it's like, if there's a superhero that I don't know, but I'm like, nah, he seems kind of lame, he might think he's cool. Right. Or if I think he's really cool, he might think he's lame. I'm really excited for lanterns. Excuse me? Lanterns. Green? What is his name? Lindelof? Lindelof is doing lanterns. Green lanterns? Yeah, green lanterns. He's doing a series. The guy who did Lost, and more importantly, Watchmen, is doing a lanterns series. I actually saw that. And The Leftovers? Yeah. The Leftovers, that show. It was tough. That was a hard show. I loved it, though. This is hard. And this is based on, like, how you feel about these superheroes. Right. Sure, sure. Which is hard, because. I think my general consensus is good, too. Yeah, yeah, yeah. You know a lot about superheroes. You know what I'm gonna say? And people might get mad at you. This might not work. Let's go for it. Okay. Superman. Okay. I'm gonna say Captain Underpants. Okay. Now, this is interesting, because Superman, if we're going on, like, power dexterity, he's, like, he's going through. Like, there's not many people that are gonna stop him. But he's so boring. Like, he's never gonna die. He's never in trouble. Superman stories are always about humanity, not Superman himself, because he's always gonna pull through. It's about saving as many of us as he can before he goes out. It's a metaphor for Jesus. So he's born in that way. Captain Underpants. Hilarious. Iconic. Is he a good superhero? Who's he fighting? He's gonna get murked. Yeah. Right. My turn. He's like Teen Titans Go. I was gonna say, I'm gonna go with my gut, but I know this is now gonna fuck it up, but I was gonna say Ryan Reynolds' Green Lantern. Wow. Specifically Ryan Reynolds. I would like to lock in my answer. And it is? I'm gonna go with two. Ah, fuck. It was one. It's one. Fuck. That was really hard. That's why I was going for Superman. You said Lanterns, and I was like, fuck, I was gonna say Green Lantern, Ryan Reynolds. Oh, no, Green Lantern would've been up there, but Ryan Reynolds' Green Lantern is definitely lower. Fuck. Correct. You took Superman exactly as I was pitching it, which is like. You killed it. He's so whatever. It's like, whatever. It's Superman. Although I liked the movie. I liked the new movie. The new movie was good. That's because that guy's good. I like him. He's good, and because Lois was such a fun dynamic to see. It's like, oh, they're already together. Don't have to hide. You don't have to do the whole thing. And let's challenge him. Okay, you're super, but you're not very good at press interviews, and you're not very good at showing how you should be operating. Agreed. Who's your number one superhero that you love? I think I know mine. Who is it? I do really like comic book Wolverine a lot. He's awesome. So good. Miss Marvel, Kamala Khan, Miss Marvel. I was reading the comics when they came out. That was very fun. I think mine, I'm still gonna go with Iron Man. He's always. He's always been, always will be. Was it the Midnight Premiere in 2008? He's incredible. He actually is incredible. Awesome. I do love Jean Grey. Oh, that's a good pull. She's just so annoying though. She's like, nah, I'm gonna pass out. My nose is bloody now. Like, bitch, put up the force field or don't. What? Wow. Yeah, did you ever think about that? Sorry, that suits in the storm. Is it weird that my favorite superhero is Mothers? Tommy, thanks for having you on. Wait, nurses! Thanks for having you on. Alright, Tommy has to guess now. I am actually also a big Batman fan. I really do like Batman. I love Batman. I like superheroes who get their ass kicked all the time. But who's a Batman we don't like, casting-wise? There's one Batman that I was like. George Clooney? No. Ben Affleck? Ben Affleck. I love Ben Affleck. I think George Clooney is the one. But I didn't love Ben Affleck's. George Clooney doesn't really fit for me. No. Val Kilmer wasn't even good. I loved the nipples. Yeah. And Uma Thurman was. Because it's ridiculous. Uma Thurman's Poison Ivy. Come on. Do you guys know anything about Absolute Batman? Excuse? Yes. Is that Batman and. How about Absolute Joker? Dude. So it's a current comic run right now, and they were like, what if Batman didn't have any money? What if he was just fully. What if he was a construction worker? They flipped the script, where his childhood's completely different and all this stuff, and he doesn't come from an affluent family and everything. But, instead of being rich, he's just as buff as humanly possible. He sounds hotter. He's like six foot eight and weighs 500 pounds. He's a way better lay. Absolute Joker's like this raptor version of Joker. Yeah. Everybody's messed up. Everybody's just a nightmare. Wait, I kind of like that. Bane is like 30 feet tall. People really like it. Oh, it's awesome. I've been reading them. Love them. Wonder Woman is Raised in Hell. So she has. Finally some edge to her. She's like missing an arm, and she rides like a flying skeleton horse. Can she replace the arm or is she not? She can like summon like a demon arm. That's so cool. I'm probably getting this like lightly wrong, but it's like, it's a version where she wasn't raised with the Amazon women. Wait, I want to read this. She's raised by, um, is she raised by Persephone? She's raised by like a goddess in hell. I'm reading Persephone right now. I'm probably getting that wrong. But it's sick as hell. I'm reading Hades and Persephone smut right now. It's pretty awesome. You should read Circe. I've already read Circe. Oh, you have read Circe. I love Circe, yeah. That's an amazing one. Yeah, yeah, yeah. The Odyssey, there was practical effects. Uh, The Pigs? Yes. With Circe? Sorry, no. I mean, that's. The story of The Odyssey, but. But Circe with pigs? If you haven't read Circe. Okay, that's one of my favorites. Circe. Yeah, but Circe by Madeline Miller is one of my favorite books of all time. It's so good. You know, I got like the old school book where it looked like the pages were like ripped. Oh, that's cool. That's awesome. Alright, someone wants to spin. Hey, Tammy. It's Tammy's guess. Tammy. Tommy, do you want to pick a category? Is there something you want? Yeah. Yeah, I'll pick. It's going to be an actor-outer one. You can open your eyes. And this is going to be. It's us! I'm here! I have amnesia, and I just woke up. I'm so sad for you. And you're telling me that I rolled my ankle. So. On a scale of one to ten, what do you mean? Sorry, Tommy, what do you mean? You told us what to do. Okay, okay, okay. We just tell you news. Okay. And one through ten is the severity of the news. Okay, I just woke up from amnesia. Yeah. Sleepless in Seattle. You woke up with amnesia. I woke up with amnesia, and you're telling me some news. Okay, ten being the best news, one being the worst news. Oh, ten being the best news. Yes. One being the worst news. Yes. Okay, I got this. Tommy! Oh! Oh, God. Oh, God. Nurse, nurse, nurse. Yeah? Oh, his voice changes when he wakes up from bed. He's just got a bubble in it. Just get it out. Okay. Tommy? Tommy. I know you. I know you've been under for a long time. You're not in this scene. And. Just kidding. Amen. Uh, I know you went under in 2020, um, a lot's happened, um, but the worst of it being, uh, Trump is president again. Uh, okay. Okay. Shane? Oh, I didn't realize we're doing like, I thought we were all together, like all three of us. That's why I go, I go, Shane, I love that you're committing, but you are not in this scene. He was going like, huh, well. Oh, it was really into it. It was really good. Um, um, okay. Oh, Tommy, you're, you're back. Oh my God. Oh no. He's sad to be back. Tommy, um, you know, you've been out for, for a couple of weeks now. Water, please. It's been out for five years. Yeah. You've been out for five years. Oh, I would get you water, but there's no more water in the world, which is a whole different thing. But, um, uh, the doctors say your, your neck. Your neck grew by two feet. So your neck is two feet longer and it all hurts way worse. Um, not my neck. My worst thing, my body. Yeah. So they're saying you're mostly neck now. Oh, that's really bad. It's just bad for you, but good for now. No, Hey, you're not in this scene. Sorry. I'm really sorry to tell you that you're, you're like 80% neck. You're like 80 and they say it's going to keep growing. You're going to be like a giraffe soon. Oh, it sucks. And it's all going to grow. It's all going to hurt. That works out for my, my zoo kink. Amanda. What? Tommy. Oh, wait, hold on. Tommy. Get into, get into cloning. Tommy. This is, I, first of all, you've missed so much. Chance and I moved in together. Congratulations. And Shane is also living with us. Oh no. Yeah. In the basement. So unfortunately, any like moon inspired baggy, wild, awesome, cool looking hip clothes from like Italy or anywhere. Any cool clothes that are like big and kind of stylistic and I like a little, like out of this world, they don't exist anymore. All the designers are dead. Wait. So what does that have to do with us moving in together? Oh, nothing. That was just, that was just a little fun. So like anything that's like fun. Like if you want like tiny, tiny little pockets, big gap has taken over a tiny little big pocket in the back. That looks like it's a circle. Like anything. Courtney doesn't live with us. We're still married, but she doesn't live here. She doesn't live here. So it's just a whole thing somewhere. She lives in a mansion. Now I'm betting this is a nine or 10. So, okay. One is 10 being the best. Sorry. Sorry. I'm guessing this is a two or three. Okay. Okay. Oh, and you, your feet got lit on fire by accident by a nurse. She came in and dropped a bird. You can't, you can't rebound it and try to, is it a one? Yeah, it's a one. You can't be like, Oh, and also actually also happy birth. Actually, that's the immediate one. You could wake up from a coma and it's every going happy birthday too. And you kick the cake. It's a one. Yes. Okay. I think if I woke up from a coma and everybody was around me singing happy birthday, I would, I would try to go back to sleep. I'd be like, I'd be like, Oh, getting up. Getting sung happy birthday too is the worst experience ever. I hate it. I really don't like it. What do I do? Sing with you? Do I just, I don't know what to do. Smile. Will we sing to you in your last birthday? I hated every birthday unless, unless you're harmonizing and it sounds really pretty. Oh, I get it. I always try to harmonize when I'm singing, but you know what? You do be trying. You put your mic down. You bitch. I will kill your ass. Who's next? Oh, is it me? Oh shit. Okay. I've got it. Sure. Sure. Sure. Sure. Sure. Um, you have to return, uh, like I'm your waiter and you are asking to return the food and a 10 is how badly like the situation is with the food. You're trying to be so polite. And 10 is really bad. And 10 is like as bad as it gets. One is like, Oh, it's like the most mild thing. Okay. Amanda, you're first. Hey, how are we doing over here? How's the food? You know what? Um, we're doing, we're doing okay. Um, my husband is, he's doing well. Um, the enchiladas look good. Yeah. How's those tamales? The tamales are good. You know, um, they're just the center of them is like a tiny bit, um, like cold. Oh, okay. Like the smallest amount cold. Oh, just like, I don't know if it's frozen. Like, I don't know if it's frozen. But like, I don't know if it's like frozen, which is like, oh, it's the middle frozen. Well, I, oh, I don't know. I mean, I don't know. Did you take a bite? I, she can tell, she can tell, she can tell temperatures from her eyes. You know what? I'm changing the number. Bitch, eat my ass. It's fucking frozen. Take it back to the kitchen and get me a molten chocolate cake. Sweetie, sweetie, sweetie, sweetie. My husband, not happy. Sweetie, sweetie, sweetie. I'm sorry, she's pregnant. Unhappy. She's pregnant. Get me a fucking cake that bursts in the middle. I want it to melt over ice cream. Her hormones. You want it to melt over ice cream? Okay, we can do that. It's okay, baby. It's okay. Okay. All right. All right. Um, what are you going to do for us? Um, all right. Yeah. How's the food over here? This is a chicken patty. It's supposed to be turkey. Oh. Oh, okay. He's a simple man. Wow. That sounds like a good idea. This is the worst possible thing that could ever happen. Can I get the chicken patty, please? Yeah, we can get you the chicken patty. All right. Hi. Yeah, me and my wife, um, uh, she's, she's also my wife. Um, when I ordered the spaghetti, uh, with chicken and she ordered the Alfredo with meatballs, I've, I received spaghetti with meatballs and she got Alfredo with chicken. Oh, so. I'm going to swap them across the table. Oh. I think, dad. Mom, um, what he meant to say is he got the Alfredo with the meatballs and the Alfredo was supposed to be the chicken and she got the spaghetti with the chicken instead of spaghetti. Oh, that's what I mean. Yeah, yeah, yeah. The ingredients were swapped. You didn't need to send it back to the kitchen. Okay. Mismatched. Yeah. Okay. Uh, I'm going to put this at a two. It's either one or two. Oh, sorry, sorry. Yeah. Ten being like absolute nightmare shit. Her tamales are frozen. You said a little bit. They're frozen. We changed our mind. In the middle. In the middle. They're frozen. So imagine it, okay, middle. It's like three. This much frozen. I would say like, uh, out of ten, it's probably like a. Yeah, shut, shut. And your, your patty's completely wrong. I mean, it's, I ordered turkey. I got chicken. You got chicken. And we, and I have two dishes that are almost right. And his wife is, has a burp for ten years. All right, so maybe, maybe like, maybe like a three or a four. Okay, which of those two? Because it's like, those aren't, those aren't like. Which one? It's not disgusting. It's not like, oh, there's hair in my food. It's just like, oh, this is just kind of incorrect. Ew. So I'll say, um, I'll say three. Wrong. It's a four. I got a four again? Yeah. Yeah, we're going to see. Shine, you get one more, you're going to get angel numbers. You and this mic. I love it. Something is happening here. You got your fucking angel numbers right there. I got your angel numbers. He's just. He's just. All right. Who's gonna. You. Damn, put some torque on that. Torque. Shuffle those bad boys up. Let's do it. I don't want a one, and I don't want a four. Respin it. You don't always get one. You got a four. Are you joking? Those are some angel numbers. It all means we need rest, you guys. That's what a four means. What? What? What? Remember Macklemore? What happened to him? Macklemore. Um, he. And Ryan Lewis? You guys are promposing to Amanda. Okay. Macklemore. Macklemore. God, I. He was a thing. He wasn't. Okay. He thought he was gay. Dun, dun, dun, dun. In a third. He's not gay. Okay, he's married to a woman. Thought. Thought he was gay. Because he could draw. I remember. The song. This is a big part of my life. Yes. When we go back, this is the moment. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's a different song, but it's still. No, I know, I know. It wasn't that song. It's probably still good. Yeah. Um, what are we doing? What are we doing? Promposing. We're promposing. Okay. You're promposing to me, and I am in a tight corset style dress. Okay. And it is lavender. Amanda. Wait, is 10 being great? Yes. 10 is like the best promposer. 10 is like the best promposer on earth. Okay, here's, um, open this box. Oh my God, it's such a big box. Yeah. And pig-shaped, little pink balloons fly. Pig balloons come out. Pink balloons. Big pig balloons. What are you saying? I'll take you to prom when pigs fly. Are you calling me a pig? Yeah, bitch, you fell out of the pretty tree, so. Yo, are you calling her a pig? That's fucked up, man. That's not a pig. When pigs fly, like, it's a cute little expression. When pigs fly means it's never gonna happen. But they're flying right now. Just because she's the least popular girl in school doesn't mean you need to call her a pig. I'm in a pig lavender dress. Amanda. You just called me a pig, whatever, five times. She's self-conscious about her little tail. I don't care what other people say about you. I don't care that they call you a little pig. Oink, oink. Girl. I don't care that you're so sweaty and you roll around in mud. Okay? I don't care that your hair is. is my hormones make me sweaty you eat anything literally anything i have no allergies i don't care i want you to go to prom with me okay part of me is like in not an i don't and moving on let's go get that mic out the way you're like he has a love affair with a mic he doesn't often have mic do you want to be with me or do you want to be with carl are people just listening to this episode you have no idea you got no sorry no go on youtube and watch it they can't i'm sorry we need to be better about someone who's got like the certain levels turned up way high in their car it's just getting weird like ambient against their face their airbag goes off whoa that's crazy okay tommy lisa i love you so much and i want to take you to prom rocky come on out here guys and then five guys come out and they're like lisa hey lisa go to prom with the guy this guy lisa and then and then and then they do and then they all start break dancing they all start break dancing him yeah he hit his head like seven times in football the last thing he remembers how to do is break dance he doesn't even remember where he lives he walks his streets every night and the last thing he saw was that nissan commercial from 2004 and then we get into the shape of your name lisa and then i get down on one knee and have a bunch of flowers what kind of flowers um the tulips we have on the kitchen that are frayed like jeans and you're like how did they do that with the dna those i thought they were carnations they can be whatever they want they are tulips what color excuse what color a color matters with pink and the scent oh that's not gonna go with lavender okay thank you so much tommy you're welcome lisa lisa okay shane bring us home hey hey lisa oh is it going oh hi mike um mike it's literally fucking freezing out i have my door i know i'm sorry i'm just really nervous um hey are you are you guys turned on the game come back in lisa lisa honey who's out the door mom dad hold on one second there's a guy out here what i can't hear you mike i can't hear you smack my butt fart what smack my butt and fart he doesn't know the lyrics to your song tommy smack my butt and fart is my deep emotion smack my butt and fart you feel the explosion wow that's all i got thanks so much mike who was outside i don't know just some dumb ass kid from my school he was singing about farts ew um hmm what number did you think that was weirdly enough if i were to choose out of three of you i'd probably go with you even though you called me a pig i didn't um well whatever i got my boys to breakdance i would say this is like a terrible options three or two okay and if you said a number another number what was something five five it was a five yeah five for promposal you know what really hard five is middle of the road five is just like because yours wasn't that bad mine wasn't that bad either i didn't actually no i know my guy was trying and he found he heard a really good song and then he tried to do it but it didn't work out my turn this episode of smash mouth is sponsored by rocket money when i hear the word money i used to associate bad words and phrases with it like stress time suck confusion now that i use rocket money i think of positive phrases like time saver financially wise and hitting goals rocket money is a personal finance app it allows you to automate your savings create budgets track subscriptions and cancel unwanted ones with a few taps rocket money gives you personalized insights and reports it alerts you for large transactions upcoming bills and low balances one app can help you with all of that that's amazing i mean i use rocket money for helping my budget saving money and i love it rocket money is a personal finance app that helps find and cancel unwanted subscriptions monitors your spending and helps lower your bills so you can grow your savings let rocket money help you reach your financial goals faster join at rocketmoney.com slash smoshmouth that's rocketmoney.com slash smoshmouth rocketmoney.com slash smoshmouth now back to the show okay my turn see it yeah okay um oh yeah do you want to pick you want to pick yeah what is the situation what's oh okay um let's go with oh my god okay here we go here we go let me think let me think let me think let me think okay it's a shake way to the couch it is a pep talk before the game for the big game before the big whatever you want okay before the big game or before actually we'll just say before regionals it's a pep talk before regional okay that really helped me all right um oh boys yeah listen okay yeah it's hot out there so let's keep up the water intake oh okay all right i have a big shit coming and i gotta go i gotta go drop the kids off at the pool all right okay well it's tied up this is pretty important yeah it is okay and so is you know my prostate's pretty important so i gotta let this all right the kids the kids kids are the kids visit the prostate how does your prostate you know what i have no idea nurses just go in there and they tell me something's wrong again they go in there and i have one with me at all times okay you know what i'm saying she's checking in yeah maybe you should go to the hospital yeah we have i'm not going to the hospital i'm gonna go take a dump oh what does that have to do with your prostate yeah i don't know where my prostate is all right well anyways hey we got we got uh the shaking someone's hand we got the tamales coming back out for you and they're looking really listen hey i know we're all tied up so let's not keep it tied up oh okay it's coming out thank you coach no prob um brett brett brett brett brett just brett good name okay thank you thank you coach course jesus come on christ oh what and spank my what is it spank my butt why are we so you're spanking and you're farting why are we yeah yeah you did yeah all right next try to top that i might not be able to 10 is the best and one is the worst yes yes all right ladies we got our big group number coming up i want everyone spinning uh the best that they can and you're all ugly little girls oh oh so i want to see you be pretty out there all right all right thanks your moms are awful awful women and i don't want to hear from them thanks abby okay yeah i was i was doing a dance competition that's all i got i okay great thanks so much okay bye okay hey champ what's up dad yeah real proud of you um so wow i love you finally finally here what i love you dad yeah um well yuck this is pretty cool this is uh so this is lacrosse yeah i'm gonna make you proud i'm gonna make you and gramps proud dad yeah um well not yet well uh you know and dad if you can just say you're proud of me i'll go out there and crush this game this is too hard i i'm not gonna be able to i gotta head out um it's got some work stuff and um it's the last quarter dad it's yeah you know but i got some work stuff but i'm sorry the car has been running for like 20 minutes dad who's that that's my secretary look i gotta go don't worry grandpa's gonna watch your game remember grandpa's here the the only thing closer to lacrosse is lacrosse hey i'm over here yeah are you not you're not seeing grandpa oh my god it smells like cabbage in here we have to go babe all right son good luck good luck with your baseball like lentils and cabbage like seriously This is going to be sick. Okay. What are you going through? I feel so bad for this kid. Oh, my God. Who's going to pull this old guy out of the room? Wait, we can't leave this old guy in here. Is this your dad? What the fuck was that? Reverse. All right. It's like Uno with his asshole. He's not actually my dad, but, you know, he kind of tags along. I would like to guess two. You're correct. You are correct. We keep getting ones and twos. That was so good. The worst situation of all time. That was really, really good. I'm so out of it. This is so insane. Those farts were crazy. Smells like cabbage. The wink from the secretary. Yeah. Dad, who's this? He promised me a milkshake. Jesus. Who's this? I'm just guessing. You knocked one of them off. Tommy, don't look. Whoa. How did you do that? Your aggressive push even, like, took off the number. You know, when you're a kid and you have so much excitement and you can't, we can't see the number. You know it's two. You know it's two. You know it's two. It's crazy. Fill in the blank. You guys be honest. Context clues. You guys be honest. Do you like cheesecake milkshakes? No. What is a cheesecake milkshake? They're like cheesecake flavored milkshakes. You think I want to be sick for a milkshake? For a decade? I love it. I like it. Oh, you go ahead. No, it's fine. I like cheesecake. I don't want a milkshake. Cut that off. He was really not into that. I don't want a milkshake cheesecake milkshake. He literally went, all right. I was about to say, I was about to say, let's do desserts for the next. Oh, that's so good. He was yes-handing you. Desserts is good. No. Okay. Whose turn is it? Mine. Oh. Ooh. Stop it. Okay. Okay. Move it around. Now, this is interesting because. Yeah, yeah, yeah. This is interesting because everyone has different palates. I know. So, I'm trying to think for Tommy. So, let's think for Tommy. Okay. Think about my palate. I'm thinking about your palate. I'm thinking about them. So, 10 is like the best. I've got my answer. Whoa, I don't. I wasn't even thinking or playing. I'm going to go with brownie. For Tommy? Yeah. Interesting. Brownie. I like a brownie. I can eat a brownie. I'm going to take a risk. Brownies are good. I can go. You go. Because I don't know. Yeah. I'm going to think. Vanilla ice cream on it or alone? I'm going to go alone. Okay. That's interesting. And 10's really good? Yeah. 10's the best. One's the worst. I'm going to go a dark chocolate raspberry ganache cake. Okay. What's a ganache cake? It's just like a really. It's like a thicky, silky. Yeah, dark chocolate raspberry. Like a torte. Like a torte. Yeah. Like a slurpy torte. Like a torte. Slurpy torte. What is happening? Like a gorp-ing. Go on. Ganache? Grenache? Silky nut cake? Ganache. Ganache. Grenache is the great. Grenache is wine. Yeah. Grenache is wine. Which, honestly, a raspberry dark chocolate grenache cake? Okay. See? Okay. Okay. See? Sounds good, too. See? Okay. Like sea salt caramel ice cream that has a hard chocolate shell with like a gorgeous like light, airy chocolate cake that's in like a small, cute little cup with a tiny little spoon and then a matching like thin, sexy glass that like opens. Right. I'm going too hard. Right. It's a seven. And there's, and there's, and there's, there's like a, there's like a port that you don't really know much about. And someone puked, but like a little, a few tables away. No, that's not what I said. I, I am, that presentation is there. Okay. That sounds high. Yours sounds pretty good, too. Yours is less. So I'm like, if I'm putting this together, I feel like it would be a seven or a six, but yours sounds like a nine and yours sounds like an eight and yours sounds like a six. So, maybe a five, maybe a five. The port is like, so what are you going to choose? So like how far away did someone, leave the port alone? So how far away did someone puke at the restaurant? I would say about eight inches away, maybe eight feet away. Eight feet away. Yeah. It's probably an eight then. Yeah, you got it. Okay, I was like, I was like, I was thinking like, like on the scale of ice creams, a 10. I was going too hard. Oh, I was about to go so deep and then you had to pull me back. What would have been a 10? She got lost in it. Something, a flame. You truly just started thinking. I literally got lost. You started thinking. I got so lost. We got to get you a dessert. I know. Get this woman and give this woman a dessert. I'm surprised you didn't add ice cream because Tommy likes ice cream. I know, but that would be a 10 for, that would be a brownie with ice cream is, is not an eight. That's like nine, nine or 10. I don't know. It's just so. A brownie with ice cream. I want more. Brownie with ice cream is crazy. I want more. But like, I don't need a fancy dessert. But if you can have like a dessert that's like an ooh la la boo bah bah. He's an ooh la la. Look at his shirt. Yes. He's an ooh la la boo bah boo. He wants something that's like. I started, I went first. Once you got into that territory, I was like, oh, well I should have done. Right. He wants like tiny little cute little like, ah. See whereas for me, I'm like a cookie. That's a nine. Wow. That's, you know. Doesn't take much, man. It doesn't. It's about taste. It's not about taste. Just so you guys know, for me. Yeah. I like cinnamon desserts and I like lemon desserts. I love that. Lemon desserts are good. Me, I like creme brulee. I love lemon. I love lemon desserts as well. I actually prefer that more than like a big honking. Okay. I want to know. I want to know. Carrot cake. Oh, just. Fuck me up with carrot cake. I like carrot cake. I don't like it too carrot-y though. Carrot cake's like a six or a seven for me. I like crunchy carrot cake. Carrot cake's a crunchy carrot cake. I like it, but it's not super high up. What about just, where would a sleeve of Oreos land on the scale? Probably like, I will always go for fun Oreos. Okay. I had the cinnamon bun Oreos recently. I'm not that. I don't like cinnamon, so it works for you. Exactly. I'm basic. What is your number one, what is your number one Oreo? Because my, the answer, there is a specific Oreo that is the best Oreo. Double stuff. Double stuff. Well, double stuff, but what? No, plain, regular old double stuff. Oh, oh, oh, oh. Incorrect. Green. Green. The mint one. Green? No. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. I know Selena and James agree with me. Guys, it is the Halloween orange Oreos. They are the best. You don't agree, Selena? I don't agree. I just like a plain double stuff. She said you're gross. The Halloween Oreos are the best double stuff Oreos. Something about the orange. I don't know what it is. It was like a sweet cream pancake BTS Oreos. That's too much. It was delicious. No, the Halloween Oreos are the best. The Easter, like, yellow ones are, like, pretty good. Gross. And then the Christmas ones are good. The s'mores ones are good. The Halloween orange are. You just need a little artificial dye. They're different. It's artificial dye. He likes grocery store cake. I like grocery store cake. Oh, I can't trust a goddamn thing you say anymore. I'm not a big. I'm not a big. I'm not a big. I'm not a big cake guy. I don't like cake that much. You don't like cake that much. Not compared to other desserts. I don't either. I'm an ice cream person. Ice cream cake. But when it's cake cakes, I'm into it. Me too. But when it cakes. But most cakes don't cake. What about a cobbler? I love a cobbler. I love a cobbler. I like a pie. I love a cobbler. I love a pie. I love a cobbler. I love a pie. How do we feel about flan? I love flan. It has to be done right. Oh, well, sure. When Selena made fucking flan? Yeah. Oh. Of course. It's an American. An American restaurant that's like, "We do flan cake." I'm not ordering it. Yeah. Obviously, I'm not talking about that. I'm not like, "Yeah, a fucked up cookie." Just add a dessert. Where's the fucked up cookie land? Have you guys been to Alcove in Los Feliz? Of course. No. Dude, those cheesecakes. I know you're not big on cheesecakes, but also, I had one of the best pastries of all time. It was a rose and pistachio pastry with gold flakes. Their lavender cake. I know this sounds crazy. Oh, my God. Yes. It's so good. It is so fucking good. It's the same color as your corset. They're pecan and praline cheesecake. What'd you say? Same color as your corset? Same color as my corset. Gets away from me. And I'm not going to prom. What? Sometimes when the flavors get a little too fancy, I'm just like. It's praline. It's just so candy-free. You don't like praline. It's fine. I'm going to bring you a slice of this, and you're going to be like. I'm sure I will. He is an American boy. I will eat it. He wants a chocolate chip cookie with vanilla ice cream. How do we feel about a root beer float? How do we feel about. Yum. I'm not in on the root beer float. Really? It's like, okay. I'm in. I would rather have so many other things. I would rather. Because there's mug. Let's go with Barks. There's. Oh. In. A thousand percent. I'm in. I'm into Barks. Barks is. That's my favorite. A&W has my sugar-free. Okay. Here's what I'd do. But Barks. I would have a blondie brownie, a vanilla bean ice cream, and a root beer reduction that's warm that I pour over the top. Okay. That's delish. That sounds good. Wow. Shane can't get behind that because you said reduction. No. I'll get behind that. A lot of that is context-based, right? Right. Like, I'm out at a park. Yeah. Like, you're out. But if I'm that, I'm like, then it's got to be nighttime. Sure. Yes. If I'm at a fancy place, then sure. But when I'm thinking of desserts, most of the times when I end up with desserts are not at restaurants. I'm usually out somewhere, whatever. The last time I had ice cream, I was just out in a town in Colorado walking around and I got some frozen yogurt. That's so hard. Wow. Crazy. It was incredible. Yeah. I don't order dessert usually at restaurants unless they have something weird or interesting. Me too. Yeah. Like, I love pistachio or rose or like a little custard. Oh, yes. See, I'm pretty. We have similar palates. Yes, we do. That's why we share food when we go out. It's pretty basic, this stuff. I'll eat everything. I will eat anything. That's the thing. Gulp, gulp, gulp. I'll eat the fancy stuff, but I'll also. Gulp, gulp, gulp. Gulp, gulp, gulp. Okay, so we go back to the game. A bite of the table. No, I think Shane's still working. Desserts was a good topic. Who is it? Oh, it's Shane? Oh, I didn't see. Yeah, it's Shane's turn. Okay. This episode of Smosh Mouth is sponsored by ZocDoc. 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That's Z-O-C-D-O-C dot com slash SmoshMouth. ♪ ♪ Yeah, I did it. Okay. Six. Stop it now. Okay. You're not right. Don't do this. What is your topic? I get an arch nemesis. Like, an arch nemesis shows up that I have to fight. Okay. Or maybe, like, yeah. And so, ten being like, oh, shit, this is a really challenging, cool arch nemesis. And one is, like, an arch nemesis that I'm like, I can't believe I have to fuck. Not that I'm, like, gonna beat them. Is it made up or? Yeah, made up. It can be anything. Like, you show up and you get to be my, like, supervillain. Oh, shit. I get a supervillain. And so, like, ten is like, oh, shit, they're formidable and also cool. Okay. One is like, this sucks. You go. Your arch nemesis, that is this number, is Shadow Shane. That's really good. He is exactly you, but complete shadow. God, that's so sick. Red eyes. Oh. And he can create weapons with his shadow smoke. That's sick. Yeah. It's almost like a performance. And he talks like this. Personification of, like, you know, like. It's like the darkness in your soul that you have to overcome. Like, yeah, I have to face myself. Yes, exactly. You know, like. Yes. It's like your temptations and everything. Like, that's really fucking sick. Oh. He loves a complicated dessert. Oh, whoa. That's really good. That's funny. In many ways, he is the opposite of me. But in many ways, he is also the same as me. Whoa. Wow. Amanda. Good luck topping that. Honestly, yeah. That's kind of like. That was honestly so sick. Similar to what I was going to do. He said that really fast. All right. This is Machete Shane. Well. It feels derivative. Fine. Fine. Fine. This is. This is. You can do Machete Shane. No, no. No, let's hear it. This is Hot Woman. Like, you're, like. Okay. Okay. Yes. Keep going. Keep going. Keep going. Okay. This is Jessica Rabbit. Jessica Rabbit. Rabbit. Rabbit. Robert. Robert. Jessica Rabbit. Jessica Rabbit. Jessica Rabbit. Jessica Rabbit. Jessica Rabbit De Niro. Jessica Rabbit comes in. Jessica Robert Downey Jr. Rabbit comes in. Jessica Rabbit played by Robert Downey Jr. She has Courtney's voice. Okay. What the hell? Again, this is supposed to be a nemesis. This is supposed to be a part of her. And she comes in. She comes in, and she's like, "Help me." And she needs your help. But every time you get close to her, she has machetes. Machetes pop out of every joint in her body. Listen. - That's all we're doing. - You must be following this. - That's literally the only thing. - Jessica Rabbit has your wife's voice. And she's like, "Oh, help me, Shane. Like, I'm in trouble." And every time you go to help her, she has machetes. - This sucks. - In her joint. - See, so Tommy's had me going like, "Oh, is this like a nine?" And yours has me going like, "Oh, are you okay?" - Shut up. Here's what my original was, but it's too close to Tommy's. I was going to do mirror Shane, where it's like literally, it's a bunch of mirrors, and every mirror, every reflection that comes back is like you as your younger self. That's what I was going to do. But fuck it, that person's dead because Jessica Rabbit with machete arms. - Yeah. - Okay. - So it's just Rabbit. - She needs help. - Chance. - She doesn't. - She doesn't. - ♪ ♪ ♪ Before you face Mother Gaia, you must face me, the father of time, Kronos ♪ Kronos comes out. - Mother Gaia? - Yeah, she's like the mother of Earth. - He's a fucking titan, by the way. - He's like, he brings out his huge fucking scythe. He's like. Reverberation through time will shake all of you and he's standing before you. - Holy shit. - He didn't know I could use a soundtrack. - He's doing a titan. - Well, Jessica Rabbit has fucking heels and machete arms. - Don't, don't, don't, don't. - Is this, this is somehow a nine or a ten, which is crazy. - Which is crazy. I had to like offset what was going on. - Yeah, you had to bring out one of the biggest arch nemesis in like all of mythology. - Right. - Yeah. - I'm gonna go with ten. It's, is it, is it ten? - It was nine. - It was nine. - So close. - If you stuck with me. - I got it right out on the bat. - Yeah. - No, but Chance, you had no choice because Amanda did that weird fucked up shit over there. - What did you want me to do? Like fucking Odysseus with machete arms? - You could have done, you could have just been like, oh, your villain is like a super strong, like awesome guy. Like you could have just done. - She was super strong, but she kept being like, I need your help. - Never said she was strong. - And then you got closer. - No, my son's most confusing about it. - Why does she need help if she's super strong? - She was manipulating you. - Okay. - Jesus Christ. - She's just a rabbit. - That's such a mind thing to do. - You know what? - Spin. - Spin. Is it me? - Yes. - This is Amanda's, this is Amanda's new catchphrase. - What? - Ten being a really awesome catchphrase. - Okay. - One being a really bad new catchphrase. - Okay, okay. - This is my new catchphrase? - Do we like that? Do we don't have to do that? - I love it. - I like that. - Okay. - This is my new catchphrase that I say around the office. - Yeah. - Yes. - And ten is great. - This is like the new thing. - And ten is like cool. - When fans think of like your quote, like this is the Amanda quote. - Okay, here it goes. - Ten is cool. - Here it goes, here it goes. - Okay. - "Looks like girly pops on girly top." - I actually kind of like that. - You know what I realized? - Am I going to like all of these? Probably. - For people listening, they don't get to see the numbers, so they have to guess along. It's kind of fun. - Yeah, that's fun. - That is kind of fun. - And someone driving their car to work just threw up, so. - "Girly top." - That's pretty cool. - Okay. I'm getting some vibes. - I'm scared mine's going to be. - Just do it. - Well, mommy likey. And I'm mommy. - Okay. I can understand where this is going. This feels like Jessica Rabbit territory. I got it. - It's very awesome burger. - Yeah. - Oh, random burger. - Random burger. Awesome sauce. - Aux sauce. - Aux sauce. - This is whenever like someone, like me or like someone does something that annoys you, you're like, "Oh, I don't know what that is." - Yeah. - "Oh, I don't know what that is." - "I don't know what that is." - "Oh, I don't know what that is." - "Oh, I don't know what that is." - "Oh, I don't know what that is." Yeah. There's never been. Hey, Chance, I know this isn't the best time, but can I talk to you? Thank you. Yeah, sorry. This isn't the best time. Shane has cried three times this podcast. You geared up for that. Literally, and then he went. I think, Chance, my favorite thing is when you gear up for something. You take so long. He has not let go of this mic since he sat here. I just want everyone to know. He loves it. It's very sweet. You're just like, okay, okay, hold on, hold on, hold on. Because I'm going through the possibilities. I'm not just doing something on instinct. You're doing the Doctor Strange. They're like, yes, I'm going through 14 million possibilities. Which one's the funniest pick? Like, only one. Uh-oh, all of them are cringe. Hey. Okay, go ahead, Timmy. Girly pops on girly top. Okay, let's go. That one's good. So. Hi, Tommy. Hey. Hey, what's up? Yeah. I know we've been. Having a lot of fun and, like, enjoying our time. But I just started to take you off of the karaoke stage just then. I just. Yeah. Just pick the next guy. Pick the next guy. I'll sing. I had to wait for, like, 20 minutes. I just feel like it's important that we talk about this. Is everything okay? Yeah, not really. I just am not the biggest fan of you singing. And I think it's over between us. Wait, what? I'm really sorry. Wait, what? I'm really sorry. Because of my singing? Yeah. That's. Yeah, it's. I'm really sorry. Tommy, that's crazy. You understand that's crazy, right? No, I got to go and I'm really sorry. Go? I got. I'm. We're breaking up. I'm sorry. In this bar right now? Yeah. But. We're waiting on drinks. Do you want me to. Can we go outside and talk? I'll close my tab right now. I'll cover the tab. Oh. Ma'am. I'm sorry. I'm in the middle of a song. I'm. I got to go. You guys get off the stage. Goodbye. Oh, my. Bite. Wow. Your. That's. Oh, my God. Shit. You died in an explosion. Okay. Okay. The way I left was not part of the number. Got rid of that. Okay. Okay. That was just a fun little extra beat. Okay. Okay. Hey, Chance. Hey, Dennis. What's up? So, I'm Tommy. You're Tommy. Dennis. He looks so Dennis. It's me, Dennis. Look. I've been having such a great time with you. Yeah, me too. It's been awesome. But. I think. I think it's just not really working out for me. I think I'm just not feeling it. Oh. But I hope we can still be good friends. Wait. Whoa. Whoa. Whoa. Yeah. I'm just. I'm sorry. Like. I'm just going through a lot. Oh, no. And I just feel like I'm not feeling like that this is going. Oh, sure. But. Hey. So, I know we all. We had those. I know we had those tickets to go see. Yeah. Third Eye Blind. Yeah. Uh-huh. I was wondering. Would it be okay if I took someone else to. Hey. To. Oh, yeah. I took those tickets. Yeah. Babe. I've been literally waiting in the car for like 20 minutes. The tickets I got us. Yeah. Yeah. Well, I mean. I can Venmo you. Oh. It's like trash in here. Maybe. But we can figure that out later. Okay. But. You know what? Yeah. And thank you for being so forthright. Oh, yeah. Of course. It didn't work out. And that's fine. Yeah. Thank you for not like leading me on. Yeah. And stretching this out. Yeah. For sure. All right. We'll figure it out. We'll figure it out. I'll see you later. Yeah. Let's go. All right. All right. I got it. Literally the boringest conversation I've ever experienced. Got to get to my son's lacrosse game. All right. Boring. Okay. This is a big plate of nachos. Yeah. Oh, it's a big plate of nachos. There's cheese all over it. Oh, great. Oh, God. It took forever. And I tripped. Oh, no. And I tripped. Oh, fuck. Oh, fuck. Oh, no. Oh, no. Babe, it's fine. It's fine. Oh, there's nachos everywhere. Oh, my God. No, it's okay. I'll go upstairs and change. Oh, my God. Yeah. Go upstairs and change, because I made these in the microwave and they're probably really hot. Yeah. Oh, wow. They are really hot. I just noticed. Yeah. Man. Is everything okay? You're probably going to need to change back at your house. What do you mean? Your stuff. Yeah. I put it in a bag. Why would you do that? I can't do this anymore. Like the nachos or the- Permanently us. Oh. Is there a reason or- I just need to be free. It's actually a me thing. Yeah. I just feel like- Except I'm also a part of this relationship, right? So- Yes, of course. Yeah. You are. You're a part of this. I feel like I didn't want you to have to have it be awkward and go up there and pack up all your stuff. So I just packed up your stuff ahead of time. So you threw nachos at me? No. Oh, that was actually- No. I literally tripped on the cat toy. Oh my God. I thought you threw nachos at me. No. Oh my God. Okay. That would be crazy. I would never. Okay. Great. Okay. Chance. I was going to call you babe, but that feels disrespectful. Well, we've been dating for three months, so I don't think that'd be crazy. Yeah. Yeah. But- So I have to end this. You know what? Oh, wow. You're going to give me the cat right now. Give me like a day to think about it. Okay. Yeah. And you can stay as long as you want to clean that up. You don't have to like rush out. I'm cleaning up the nachos that you spilled. I'll get a Tide to Go pen. How about I think about cleaning up the nachos for a day? That's crazy. You're going to sit in that for a whole day? Right. Right. So I'm going to guess like, wait, 10 being the best way? Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I'm going to guess, I'm going to go four. Yes. Yes. Yes. Oh my God. We did it. I just wanted mine to be really- Did you date guys like that at any point? Like when you were a teenager? In college? What do you mean like that? Nacho spiller. Just the way that you were, that guy was operating, I just am like, man, you've had to have known a guy like this. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I don't know if I've dated a guy like this, but I've definitely had friends who have dated a guy like this. I just know this guy. Yeah. Yeah. Chill guy. He's very one of those guys. It's like, oh. Because you played that guy so well. Thank you. And you played that guy a lot. I feel like multiple characters throughout the show, I've played that guy a lot. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I've played multiple characters throughout Baff Legacy. Yeah. You know that guy. Oh, yeah. Well, that guy's a little, he's a little flirtier. Yeah. Yeah. Oh, that guy I know very well. Who's just like. Ew, I hate that smile. I know those guys. Yeah. I definitely have dated one of those guys way back in the day. I haven't really met those guys out here though. Those are like. That's not the type of shitty guy. Those are back home. Yeah. That's not the type of shitty guy you get in LA. No. The shitty guy in LA is. The problem is like. I don't know. They might be worse. Of course they're worse. I think they are worse. They're way worse. In LA because they have like the facade. They have a better facade. They're tricksters. See, back home you're like, okay. I know what's going on here. Yeah. Yeah. But here in LA they're pretending. It's a wolf in a sheepskin. Yeah. Yes, exactly. Or Odysseus in a lamb skin. And I am Pauly Pemoth. Pemoth? Pemoth? Pauly Pemoth. Pauly Pemoth. Pauly Pemoth. Pauly Pemoth. Anyways. I'm a little bit of a. Pauly Pemoth. Pauly Pemoth. Pauly Pemoth. Pauly Pemoth. Pauly Pemoth. Pauly Pemoth. Pauly Pemoth. Anyways. That was really good. And it's immediate. Yeah. I can just cut this relationship off whenever I want to. So what would a one be? A text? And then block? Immediate block? A one is a full on affair and they're leaving for that person and you're losing a bunch of shit in the process. A one would be like, "This is my new boyfriend. Come on in." Yes. "He looks like you, but hot." You know? I'd be like, "Okay, well." Wait. That literally happened to me. Whoa. I was dating this guy and he was in town and he had a date when he was moving. And he moved back to South Carolina. And we were talking about doing long distance. We haven't really talked about it, but we were kind of separated. It was just like he was moving. So it was like we weren't going to be together. And then two days after he was like, "I'm going to miss my boyfriend." On Instagram he posts, "I'm going to miss my boyfriend." Mind you, we've been going on dates and going to baby showers and shit for three months. It's been a while. We're spending a lot of time together. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I'm meeting his family. I met his mom and his sister. Oh. Yeah. And then he posts the next day, "My beautiful boyfriend who looks just like me." He's like light skin, half black, curls, crazy eyes. And I was like, I felt so stupid. I felt so dumb. Yeah, yeah, yeah. But that's a one. How would you know? How do you know? And then you feel so dumb. Isn't that crazy that that's your first thought is like you feel so dumb? But literally, how would you know? How did you know? And how would you expect that? No. How did you expect that? I'm so dumb. I'm so, fuck him. He posted. Instagram. He posted it? Wild. Did you do anything? He truly took all of you and mapped it onto this new person. Yeah. That's the only way. Did you say anything? Yeah, of course. Yeah. You called him out. Yeah. And did he just not care? He was like, "I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm like, I know." I'm not lying about it. He's just like, I know. I'm sorry. And then I was close with his friends. And his friends were like, yeah, we knew the whole time. You knew the whole time? Oh. Hello? Oh, well, fuck all of them. And now they're all in LA. They all moved to LA. Let's find them. And they're like, let's be buddy-buddy. This was before I was on Spongebob. That's some LA behavior. Now they're like, can you help us get cast and shit? No. We're doing this short film. Can you come do the- We fucked you over earlier, but can you help our careers? The fuck? I can't. What? No, be like, they already have me. I'm right here. Right. Oh, well, it's not the boyfriend who wants to get cast. It's the friends. Oh, yeah. All right, farts. Actually, yes. Okay, let's do it real quick because we got to go. All right. What? Okay, it's a fart and a goodbye. Is there a number on the board? Spin it again. Who's looking? Wait, yeah. Tommy, right? Tommy. It's my thing that I can't- Okay. Okay. Got it? Okay. All right, so what's the scale here? Okay. Ten is like really- Wait, yeah. Ten is like you need to go to the hospital and I feel like I need to turn this video off immediately. Number one is, LOL, that wasn't even a goodbye. Okay. It's fart goodbye. It's a combo. Okay. Okay. It's fart goodbye. Fart goodbye. Spank my ass. I don't know if we can't top that old man farts. I think we got this. Okay, here we go. All right. Do you want me to go first? Yes, please. All right. I'll see you later. That was good. Yeah. Okay. It's a light. Go on. Mommy likey. And I'm mommy. Okay. Okay, okay. Okay. Hey, guys. Thanks for watching Smosh Mouth. I'm Chance. That was pretty fucking good. That was awesome. That was well done. Okay, is it a- Really good. It feels like a two. Got it. Yeah. Okay, hold on, hold on. Spank my ass and fart and feel the- Explosion! Okay, I'll do a send-off with this number here. Yeah, do a send-off. With this number here. Okay, hospital. Go! Get out! Fuck! That sucked. He loved it. Jesus. Do you know what I love the most? It's- It's- It's- It's- Go! Get out! Ending a video with go! Get out! Someone warning you so hard, like a ship is sinking. Go! Get out! Imagine you walk into a public restroom and there's someone in a stall and they yell that out at you. I would get out! I would leave. Go! I'm gone. Leave with me. Get out! Get out! I would die laughing if you're in an airport bathroom and you wait. Go! Get out! It's crazy work. Go! Get out! Stop. I'm going to die. I'm going to die. Okay. Wow. Guys, that was Smosh Mouth. The Wheel Part 2. The Wheel Returns. That was so fun. That was incredible. I never wanted to end. What a great time. Yeah, thank you Chance and Tommy for being amazing. And thanks Shane for being here. Yeah, you know. It's good to have you back actually. Yeah, thanks. You're welcome. Alright. Alright. Go! Get out!