#157 - The Wheel Returns

Hey, welcome to Smoshmouth, I'm Amanda, and we have a very special guest, so with us today, oh, also, I did the intro, Shane wasn't supposed to be here, but he desperately wanted to be here, and we were like, he was supposed to be away on vacation, but he's here, so. I was away on vacation, you guys just delayed this by a week, but it wasn't because we want to do in it. I haven't heard another reason. Well, I wanted you in it. All right, our special guest are Chanson Tommy, and they really want to do in it, so we had to change it. Oh, okay. They didn't want to be alone with me, it's what they said. Oh, okay. She's spanked us. She spanked us. Oh, whoa. And they said they left the last time. I did walk into this studio, and everyone was like scared. Everyone was acting really nervous. And I was like, in the week that I was gone. Oh, yeah. You're walking really. I was walking around. Oh, yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. You left and I decided to spank the shit out of everybody. What the hell? What the hell? I will say some are behaving better. That's why HR is okay with it. That's these boys. Look at my, you gotta cross your legs, hide your balls. Yeah. I do that. No balls. You can't do that. I literally can't come to sleep. Just too freaking be okay. Oh, because he's got big muscles. Yeah, you're being. One of those. No, it's because his hips are tight. It doesn't feel like my hips though. What do I use? I think it might be my hammy. Wait, what are those? Your hammies. My hammy is like blocking it. Well, I got a hammy, but it's pushed to the side. My hammy is not pushing like it's not. Maybe it's a length of length of your hammy to the side. Guys, welcome to a new segment on Smosh Moth. Guess the diameter of Shane's hammies. Like, oh. I think your hips are too tight. Maybe it's my hips are too tight. Yeah. No, I think Tommy was right. I also can't do it. And I think it's the length. I think it's a length of your hammies. You don't have long, gorgeous hammies like us and like me and the boys. Like me and the boys. Aw, that's all right. No, we wanted you here. You see like that. Yeah, I see it like that. I'll sit like an American girl doll here. Oh my god. Samantha? No. No, I sit like this. This is how I sit. Oh, shoes on the couch. Tunes on the couch. Oh, mine are barely there. Anyways, guys, we're playing the wheel game again. Yes. Yes. We love the wheel game. We didn't really, we didn't, we didn't figure out what the wheel game was last episode. We didn't know the definition. We didn't do anything this time. So yeah, the wheel game. We kind of did the wheel game together. Yes, we did. Here we go. We did cartoon. Try not to burp. What's going on? Do you know what? We're trying not to burp. Someone holds in a burp. Do you guys call them out on it or just let them work through the prep? I let them work through it. I'll punch it out of them. What I don't, what I don't allow is when someone has like the, the, the, the bubble, the bubble and they're like, yeah, so like, are we in the ballroom? And I'm like, cough now. Yeah, cough now. I kind of agree. It drives me into, but if someone's like, yeah, and I, I'm like, it's okay here. That's where you have them type. Vapers, lungs, vapors, throat, like when they are like, that's like grunchy, Darth Vapers. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Grunchy. I'm like, oh, girl, you need some water. You just have to let them work through that. No, I don't see the air bubble in my throat when you're a kid that's so exciting because you'd be talking and then you'd be like, oh my god, I'm not even doing a voicemail. This is like, you're having a good time. It sucks when you're trying to have a good conversation, but some things occurring. You're like, oh, yeah, it's real tough. I have to say every single time I do a cameo, I have to burp. What happens? You should just let it out. It's the, it's the, the clenching of energy and the non-stop speaking that have almost every time I'm like, hey, and Jennifer, I hope you have an incredible sorry, had to burp. Keep it, keep it all. Sometimes I burp, and then I'm like, they can't want that. They probably do. You never know. There's some forex out there. Perfect. Chance just leaves it all in. Burps, farts. I've never heard Chance burp or fart. Well, he doesn't. I have fun. I can't fart because I sowed my butt hole shut. How many times do I have to tell you guys this? That seems so uncomfortable. Oh, it's the best thing I ever did. I made anyone on the back of his head. I was, you know, he was watching me to Costco hotdog and it came out at the same time he was eating. He just like this. He goes to the bathroom like he's in a salon. Back to put shampoo. And then he lifts back up and they go, oh my god. They're like, okay, let me just get a little, they're like, no. They go, is that okay? Let me clean it up. Oh my god, I'm so sorry. Is that okay? Should I soften? Condition your butt hole. They just shave right around it. Diction. Oh, they give it a little shake. They give it so he's walking in from behind. He just has one little bald spot and it's just the perfect spot for it. It's gorgeous. So anyways, what are we doing today? Again, the wheel gave is essentially here's the deal with the wheel game. It's very hard for me to describe it. Intro it one more time. I wasn't supposed to be here. So you got this. I spin the wheel. I land on a number and then I do a scene with that intensity. Yes. So we're going to spin the wheel and no one else is going to know what number that we got. And then we are going to then act out or do something or explain something in a way that is the number out of 10. So the number is like a level level two level 10 is like best intense and one is like worst not as intense. So if it's like I'm trying to hide the butt hole in the back of my head and I got like a five. No, I got like an eight. I would like really try to hide it, but not so aggressively. Right. And if I got a one, I'd be like, do you want to see the butt hole in the back of my head? Yeah. One of the smiley faces. That means rolling stuff. There's 12 slots. You have to roll it up to that. Okay, the greens, my face is really again. And the yellow face. You have to pick your own. Oh my god, smiley face, you have to tell us something that you're really happy about. And then yellow smiley face, you have to spank me. Sorry. So does that mean slap you on the back of the head? Amanda will actually, that's true. Never mind. Don't do that. Okay, on the back of that. It's spanking is where the hole is. The hole. Stop. Stop. We have to play the game. What's that sound? It's crazy. I'll guess. I'll spin. Okay. Don't look. I'm not looking. I'm not looking. It's easy to not look. Okay. Okay. All right. So now I guess change it up. Yeah. All right, we changed it up. It's finally. All right. Tourist spots in LA. Okay. Tourist spots in LA based off of this number. Tour spots in LA. One being the worst, 10 being the best. Okay. Everything I'm thinking of is I'm like, that's actually on a one. Well, everything that I was like, a tourist would want to go there. It's a one or six. But I don't want to go there. Okay. So you guys are talking. So I'm guessing it's already. Hollywood stars. Did I nail it? What did you say? What he said? He said, was he said, is it a four? When did you say that right now? Just now before the Hollywood stars are out. I said before the Hollywood stars because you guys are you're struggling. So I'm like, so if I said Hollywood stars, would you say, I would say one. I think walk a famous one. There's nothing to do. Guys, this is the issue. She said tourist attraction. So if I was a tourist, yeah. No, see, that's the thing is we should have declared. Are we a tourist or are we? Either way, it's a one. Wait, are we also tourists get there? And they're like, wow, it smells like shit. There's a fat spider-man humping Jesus. Let's say the problem is I don't know. Let's do it for ourselves because it is such a different thing. Like when I go visit a place and I go, oh, I want to see this locals are always like, oh, don't do that. But I'm like, for me, first time here, it's exciting. So is it, but some things just don't. I'm sorry. L.A. L.A. is a terrible tourist. Guys, so is it us first time here? Let's do it just us. How are we now? How are we? I'm going to say the grove. He already guessed. I know. But I would say the grove because you're going to go there. It's pretty. I don't mind the grove. Yeah, I don't either. But it's not a tent. What are you going to do? You're going to take the lap. You're not going to buy anything. It's too expensive. If you go during the holidays, it's a six. If you go during the holidays and six, you're right. But it's like you do the loop. I would say for you guys, I would believe like a four or three or four. That's where I'm at. Well, we got it. I said for forever ago. Was that correct? Yeah. Yeah. Oh, wow. Oh, yeah. You were right. Oh, okay. So Hollywood stars. We didn't give it to him. I did it before you guys said a thing. Incredible. Should I go? Yes. Yes. Yeah. This episode of Smoshmouth is sponsored by Shopify. I don't know about you, but I love seeing a small business take off. It's just so exciting to see someone who has an idea and then they make it happen. How inspiring. You know Smosh did that. Just two guys making videos and look at us now. I have my own podcast. Don't tell Shane that I said that, but it's mine. If you're looking for growth, you have to use Shopify. Shopify is an all in one e-commerce platform that handles setup, check out and gives you the tools you need so you can focus on the other stuff. Shopify powers millions of businesses worldwide from names like Mattel and Jim Shark to your business that you started in your living room. So stop sitting around and waiting for something to happen. Go start your own business with Shopify. Smosh's website is perfect. We love putting up fun merch like our sock collection with Shopify. Nothing stands between your idea and a real business. So go make it one. I have the power now. Start your free trial at Shopify.com/smosh start your free trial at Shopify.com/smosh that Shopify.com Smasch. Now back to the show. I'm not old. I'm young. Okay. Nice. Okay. You can look again. You could look. Okay. Hey. Tourist. We're not doing that category again. Please. category. Oh my god. No. Sorry. Jesus. Pick up lines based on cringe. Would that number that you just got? Wait. Pick up lines. So ten would be the cringiest. Cringy pick up lines. Okay. Cringy pick up lines with ten being the cringiest. Give it to me. I'm a girl at a bar. Oh god. Hey, Chica. I lost my number. Can I have yours? It's like not horrible, but it's not great. I started with Hey Chica. Just see. Yeah. No, I remember. Okay. How about this? How about this? How about this? See. Signaled. Did you fall down the pretty tree and get hit by every branch? The fuck. It sounds like I'm ugliest. No, you're the pretty tree. But a pretty tree just feels like you were on the pretty tree and you got it on the way down. So now you're like, yeah. So ugly as fuck. Okay. Well, okay. Got it. It's like you fell down the pretty tree. Are you okay? You should go to the hospital. Um, shit, man. I'm like a girl at a bar. Yeah. Yeah. I've heard about it. I've never never talked to her name a woman. I don't. This is a. This is like the worst. It's like Mary. I don't know shit about this stuff. Uh, I actually don't have. He's like Scarly Joe Hamlin. I do not know. Like Marilyn Monroe is based on Chris. Like I'm just under a loser. Yeah. I just come on, Shane. Shit. Look at that face. Shane just used the one they use. Joseph doesn't hit on people. My martini is empty and mommy is thirsty. Hey, mommy, can I get you another mommy, teeny? There you go. Okay. And what's our number? I want to vomit in my butt. Um, honestly, this is giving me like three. No, no, remember. It's based on fringe. So tennis cringes. I'm sorry. I flipped it. Correct. This is giving me eight or nine. Pick one of the two. Pick one. There's way worse ones. But these are not great. Eight. Yeah. You got it. Wow. You are incredible. You are smart. You are pretty. And you think every we're so fucking cool. Thanks, guys. You had every branch. That's awesome. Hey, did you hit every print falling off the pretty tree? So I'm going to fuck off my scraped up. Okay. My turn. Don't look. Let's do walked in. What if we do superheroes? Sure. Okay. We're locked in. I said the category now. I'm like, oh, what do I say? And he knows superheroes. I was just saying that. So it's like, and I don't know superheroes. So it's like, if there's a superhero that I don't know, but I'm like, nah, he seems kind of lame. He might think is cool. Right. Or if I think I'm really excited for lanterns. Excuse me? Lanterns. Green. What does it name? Lindelhoff is doing lanterns. Green lanterns. Yeah, green lanterns. He's doing a series. The guy who did lost and more importantly, watchman. Whoa. He's doing lanterns. Okay. And the leftovers. Yeah. I mean, the leftovers. That's how it was tough. That was a hard show. I loved it though. This is hard. And this is based on like how you feel about these. Right. Sure. Which is hard because I think my general consensus is good too. Yeah. Yeah. You know a lot about superheroes. You know what I'm going to say? And people might get mad at this might not work. Okay. Let's go for it. Let's go for it. Superman. Okay. I'm going to say Captain underpants. Okay. Now this is interesting because Superman, if we're going on like power dexterity, he's like he's going through like he's there's not many people that are going to stop him. But he's so boring. Like he's never going to die. He's never in trouble. Superman stories are always about humanity. Not Superman himself because he's always going to pull through. It's about saving as many of us as he can before he goes out. It's a metaphor for Jesus. So he's boring in that way. Captain underpants, hilarious. Iconic. Is he a good superhero? Who's he fighting? He's going to get murked. Yeah. Right. Right turn. He's like Teen Titans go. I was going to say I'm going to go with my gut. But I know this is now going to fuck it up. But I was going to say Ryan Reynolds green lantern. Wow. Okay. I would like to Reynolds. I would like to lock in my answer. Okay. It is. I'm going to go with two. Oh, fuck. It was one. It's one. That was really. That's why I was going for Superman. You said you said lanterns and I was like, fuck, I was going to say green lanterns. Oh, no. Green lantern would have been up there. But Ryan Reynolds green lanterns definitely lowered it. Fuck. No, you did it. You took Superman exactly as I was pitching. Okay. Which is like you killed it. He's so what? It's like so whatever. I like the movie. I like the new movie. The new movie was cut because that guy's good. I like him. He's good and and because Lois was such a fun dynamic to see. It's like, oh, they're already together. Don't have to do the whole thing. That's awesome. And let's challenge him. Okay. You're super. But you're not very good at press interviews and you're not very good at showing how you should be operating. Agreed. Who's your number one superhero that you love? I think I know mine. Who is it? I do really like comic book Wolverine a lot. Awesome. So good. I think Miss Marvel Kamala Khan. Miss Marvel. I was reading the comics when they came out. That was very fun. I think mine. I'm still going to go with Iron Man. He's always been always will be was at the midnight premiere in 2008. Incredible. Yeah. He actually is incredible. Awesome. I do love Gene Gray. Oh, that's a good. She's just so annoying though. She's like, I'm going to pass out. My nose is bloody now. Like bitch. Put up the force field or don't like what? Wow. Yeah. Do you ever think about that? Sorry. That suits in the store. Is it weird that my favorite superhero is mothers? Oh, thanks for having you all. Wait, nurses. We're having you all. Thanks for having you all. Tommy has to guess now. I'm actually also a big Batman fan. He's really do like Batman. I love that. I like superheroes who get their ass kicked all the time. Yeah. But who's a Batman? We don't like casting wise. There's one Batman that I have George Clooney. No. An Aflac. An Aflac. I love that. I think George Clooney is the one. But I didn't love Ben Affleck's. George Clooney doesn't really fit for me. No. That'll kill me. But I like the nipples. That's fine. I loved the nipples. Yeah. And that was almost like fun because it's ridiculous. Yeah. Umathermans. poison ivy. Boys and ivy. Come on. Are you guys? Do you guys know anything about absolute Batman? Excuse? Yes. Is that Batman and I have a run? How about absolute Joker? Dude. Absolutely. So it's a current comic run right now. And they were like, what if Batman didn't have any money? What if he was just fully? What if he's a construction worker? And he what if they flip the script where his childhood is completely different and all this stuff. And he doesn't come from an affluent family and everything. And but instead of being rich, he's just as buff as humanly possible. He sounds hotter. He's he's like six foot eight. It's a way better way. I'm 100 pounds. Absolute jokers like this raptor version of Joker. Yeah. Everybody's messed up. Yeah. Everybody's just. That's fine. Wait, I kind of like that. Ben is like 30 feet tall. Yeah, people really like it. Oh, it's awesome. I've been reading them. I love them. Uh Wonder Woman is raised in hell. So she has finally some edge. She's like missing an arm and she rides like a flying skeleton horse. She replaced the armors. She can like sit like some in like a power demon arm. That's so cool. I'm probably getting this like lightly wrong. But it's like it's a version where she wasn't raised with the Amazon women. Wait, I want to read this. She's raised by um is she raised by Persephone? She's raised by like a goddess like in hell. I'm reading Persephone right now. I'm probably getting that wrong. But it's sick as hell. Reading meetings in Persephone. He's smelt right now. It's pretty awesome. You should read Cersei. I have already read. Oh, you have read. I love it. Yeah. Yeah. So that's a nice one. Yeah. Yeah. The Odyssey. There. There was practical effects. Uh, the pigs. Yes. With Cersei. Sorry. No. I mean, that's the story of the Odyssey. But but Cersei with pigs. If you haven't read Cersei. Okay. That's one of the Odyssey. Yeah, with Cersei by Madeline Miller's one of my favorite books. Oh, yeah. It's so good. You know, I got like the old school book where it looked like the pages were like ripped. Oh, that's cool. All right. Hey, Tammy, it's Tammy's guess. Tammy. Tommy, do you want to pick a category? Do you? Does there something you want? Yeah. Yeah. I'll pick. Um, that it's going to be an actor out or one. Open your eyes. And this is going to be. It's not. I'm here. Um, I have amnesia and I just woke up. I'm so sad for you. And you're tell. And you're telling me that I rolled my ankle. Um, on a scale of one to ten. What do you have? Sorry. Tommy. What do you mean? Yeah. Okay. You broke your ankle. Okay. Okay. We just tell you news. Okay. We tell you news. Okay. And one third is the news. It's the news. Okay. I just woke up from amnesia. Yeah. Yeah. Sleep. Listen. Yeah. I woke up with amnesia. And you're telling me some some news. Okay. Ten being the best news. One being the worst news. Okay. Oh, 10 being the best news. Yes. Okay. I got this. Okay. Tommy. Oh, God. Oh, God. Nurse. Nurse. Yeah. Oh, his voice changes when he wakes up. Oh, he's just got a bubble in it. Just gonna go. Um, Tommy, Tommy, I know you, um, I know you've been, you've been under for a long time. You're not in this scene. And, um, Uh, I know you went under in 2020, um, well, it's happened, um, but the worst of it being Trump is president again. Oh, okay. Okay. Shane, oh, I didn't realize we're doing like, that we're all together. Like all three of us, it was guy go to go, Shane, I love that you're committing. But you are not the acting he was going like, um, well, oh, it's really, it was really good. Um, um, okay, oh, Tommy, oh, you're, you're back. Oh, no, oh, no, he's sad to be back. Tommy, um, you know, you've been out for, for a couple of weeks now, water, please. It's been out for five years. Yeah, you've been out for five years. Oh, I would get you water. But there's no more water in the world, which is a whole different thing. But, um, uh, the doctors say your, your neck grew by two feats. Your neck is two feet longer and it all hurts way worse. Um, not my neck, my worst thing in my body. Yeah. So they're saying you're mostly neck now. Oh, that's really bad. That did just bad for you, but good for no, no, no. Hey, you're not in the scene. Sorry. Um, I'm really sorry to tell you that you're, you're like 80% neck. You're like 80, and they say it's going to keep growing. You're going to be like a giraffe soon. Oh, it's all going to hurt. That works out for my, my zoo kink. Amanda, what? Tommy, oh, wait, hold on. Oh, Tommy, get into, get into cloning. Tommy, this is, I, first of all, you've missed so much. Chance, I moved in together. Congratulations. And Shane is also living with us. Oh, no. Yeah. In the basement. Um, so unfortunately, any like moon inspired baggy, wild, awesome, cool looking hip clothes from like Italy or anywhere, any cool clothes that are like big and kind of stylistic and I like a little like out of this world, they don't exist anymore. All the designers are dead. Wait, so what does that do with us moving in together? Oh, that was just, that was just, that was just, that was it. I think that was just a little fun, so like anything that's like fun. Like if you want like tiny, tiny little pockets, big gap has taken over a tiny little big pocket in the back that looks like it's a circle like anything could live with us. We're still married, but she doesn't live here. Yeah, she's just a whole kitchen. We'll tell her about it somewhere. She lives in a mansion now. I'm betting this is a nine or 10. So, okay, one is the worst. Oh, sorry, sorry, I'm guessing this is a two or three. Okay, okay. Oh, and your feet got lit on fire by accident by a nurse. She came in and, you're off to birthday, you can't, you can't, you can't rebound it and try to. Is it a one? Yeah. It's a one. You can't be like, oh, and also actually also. There's came a new one. Happy birth. Wow. Actually, that's the only one you can wake up from a coma. And it's every going, happy birthday to, and you take the cake. That's the one. Yes. Okay. I think if I woke up from a coma and everybody was around me singing Happy Birthday, I would, I would try to go back to sleep. First of all, I'd be like, I'd be like, oh, getting sung happy birthday to is the worst experience ever. I hate it. I really don't like it. What do I do? Sing with you? Do I just, I don't know what to do? I hate it when we sing to you in your last birthday. I hate it every birthday, unless, unless you're harmonizing and it sounds really pretty. Oh, I can't. You need singers. I need singers. Oh, I got it. Okay. I always try to harmonize when I'm singing. But you know what? You do me triumph. You put your mic down. You bitch. I will kill your ass. This next. Oh, is it me? Oh, shit. Okay. I've got it. Sure. Sure. Sure. You have to return. Like, I'm your waiter and you are asking to return the food. And a ten is how badly like the situation is with the food. You're trying to be so polite. And ten is really bad. And ten is like, as bad as it gets, one is like, oh, it's like the most mild thing. Okay. Amanda, you're first. Hey, how are we doing over here? How's the food? You know what? We're doing, we're doing okay. My husband is, he's doing well. The enchiladas look good. Yeah. How's those tamales? The tamales are good. You know, they're just the center of them is like a tiny bit like cold, like the smallest amount. Cold. Like, I don't know if it's frozen, like, I don't know if it's frozen, like, I don't know if it's frozen, which is like, oh, it's the middle frozen. Well, I don't know. I mean, you don't know. Did you take a bite? She can tell, she can tell, she can tell temperatures from her eyes. I'm changing the number, bitch, eat my ass, it's fucking frozen. Take it back to the kitchen and get me a molten chocolate cake. Sweetie, sweetie, sweetie, sweetie, sweetie. My husband, I'm sorry. Not happy. Sweetie, sweetie, sweetie. I'm sorry, she's pregnant. She's pregnant. Get me a fucking cake. That burst in the middle, I want it to melt over ice cream. No. She can do that. It's okay, baby. It's okay. Okay. All right. All right. Um. What are you going to do for us? Um. All right. Yeah. How's the food over here? Yeah. This is a chicken patty. It's just to be turkey. Oh. Oh. Okay. He's a simple man. Wow. That sounds a bit more possible thing than the chicken patty. Can I get the chicken patty, please? Yeah. We can get the chicken patty. All right. Hi. Yeah. She's spurned. She's spurned. She's spurned. She's lost to my wife. When I ordered the spaghetti with chicken and she ordered the Alfredo with meatballs, I received spaghetti with meatballs and she got Alfredo with chicken. Oh. So. Swap it across the table. Oh. No. No. I think dad, mom, what he meant to say is he got the Alfredo with the meatballs and Alfredo with the chicken and she got the spaghetti with the chicken. Yeah. That's what that means. That's what it means to the kitchen. It means messed up. Yeah. Okay. I'm going to put this out of two. It's other one or two. Oh, sorry. Sorry. Yeah. Ten being like absolute nightmare shit. Her tamales are frozen. Frozen. You said a little bit. They're frozen. In the middle. In the middle. In the middle. In the middle. So imagine it. Okay. It's like this much frozen. I would say like out of ten, it's probably like a. Yeah. Shut. Shut. I ordered turkey. I got chicken. All right. And we have two dishes that are almost right. And his wife is as a burp for maybe like maybe like a three or four. Okay. Which of those? Those aren't fun. It's not disgusting. It's not like, oh, there's hair in my food. It's just like, oh, there's just kind of incorrect. Oh. So I'll say, I'll say three. Wrong. It's a four. I got four again. Yeah. Shine, you get one more. You're going to get angel numbers. You in this mic. I love it. Something is happening. Yeah. You got your fucking angel numbers on it. I can get a number. He's just. He's just. All right. And. Ooh. Smell it. You. Damn. We put some torque on that. Torque. Shuffle those bad boys up. Let's do it. I don't want a one and I don't want a four. Re-spin it. You don't always. Yes. What do you want? You got a four. Are you joking? Those are some angel numbers. It all means we need rest. You guys. That's what a four means. You can look. What? What? Remember, Macklemore? What happened to him? Macklemore. Um, he. I'm Ryan Lewis. You guys are. Composing to Amanda. Okay. Macklemore. Macklemore. I. He was a thing. He was okay. He thought he was gay. Dunk, dunk, dunk, dunk, dunk. He's not gay. He's married to a woman. Duh. Duh. He was gay. Because he could draw. I remember a song. This is the part of my life. Yes. You're the part of my life. Yes. We go back. This is the moment. Yeah. It's a different song. No, I know. I know. It's probably still good. Yeah. Um, what are we doing? What are we doing? Prom. Prom posing. Prom posing. We're prom posing. Okay. You're prom posing to me. Okay. And I am in a tight horse set style dress. Okay. And it is lavender. Amanda. Um. Yeah. Yeah. Wait, 10 being great. Yeah. 10 is like the best. Oh, there's a lot of talk. Okay. Here's, um. Open this box. Oh, my God. It's such a big box. Yeah. Yeah. And pig's shape. Little pink balloons flying. Pig balloons come out. Pink balloons. Pink balloons. Pink balloons. I'll take you to prom when pigs fly. Are you calling me? Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, bitch. You fell out of the pretty street. So. Yeah. Are you calling her a pig? That's fucked up, man. Okay. It's fly. Like it's a cute little expression. When pigs fly is means it's never gonna happen. But they're flying right now. Because she's the least popular girl in school. Doesn't mean you need to color a pig. I don't care. Lavender dress. Amanda. Called me a pig. Whatever. Five times. She's self-conscious about her little tail. I don't care. What other people say about you? I don't care that they call you a little pig. Pink. I don't care that you're so sweaty and you roll around in mud. Okay. I don't care that you're hairy. my hormones make me so you eat anything literally anything I have no allergies. I don't care I want you to go to prom with me Okay, part of me is like It's not an added and moving on. Let's go. Let's get that mic out the way you're like He has a love affair with a mic. He doesn't often have mic Do you want to be with me or do you want to be with Carl? No people just listening to this episode you have no idea. You got no. Sorry. Go on YouTube and watch it They can't, I'm sorry. We need to be better about that So we've got like the certain levels turned up way high in their car is just getting weird like ambielit against their face Their airbag goes on Whoa Okay, Tommy Lisa I love you so much and I want to take you to prom Rocky Come on out here guys And then five guys come out and they're like Lisa Hey, Lisa. Go to prom with the guy This guy Lisa and then and then and then they do and then they all start break dancing They all start break dancing Yeah, he hit his head like seven times in football Last thing you remember how to do is break dance He doesn't even remember where he lives His treaty it is in the last thing he saw is that Nissan commercial from 2004 And then again to the shape of your name Lisa and then I get down on one year and a bunch of flowers. What kind of flowers? The tulips we have on the kitchen that are frayed like jeans and you're like how did they do that with the DNA Those I thought they were carnations they can be whatever they want. They aren't tulips What color excuse? What color? What color matter? What with pink and the scent. Oh, that's not gonna go with lavender. Okay. Thank you so much. Tommy You welcome Lisa. Lisa Okay, Shane bring us home. Hey, Lisa. Oh, what's it going? Oh, hi, Mike Um Mike, it's literally fucking freezing out. I have my door. I know. Sorry. I'm just really nervous Hey, are you guys turning on the game? Come back in Lisa. Lisa honey. Who's out the door? Mom dad. Hold on one second. There's a guy out here. What? I can't hear you. Mike. I can't hear you Smack my butt and fart. What? Smack my butt and fart? I don't He does another layer of song, Tommy. Smack my butt and fart is my super motion. You feel the explosion Wow, and that's all I got. Thanks so much, Mike Who was outside? I don't know. Just some dumbass kid from my school. He was singing about farts. Yeah. Okay. Um What number did you think that was weirdly enough if I were to choose out of three of you I'd probably go with you even though you called me a pig. I didn't um Wow, whatever. I got my voice to break down. I would say this is like a three or two Okay, and if you said a number, another number, what And it was something five five. It was a five year five for promposing. You know what five is middle of the road five is just like Because this wasn't that bad mine wasn't that bad either. I didn't actually You know, I know I am my guy was trying and he found he heard a really good song and then he tried to do it But he didn't work on my turn This episode of Smoshmouth is sponsored by Rocket Money. 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That's rocket money.com slash smoshmouth rocket money.com slash smoshmouth now back to the show Okay, my turn See it Yeah, okay Oh, yeah, do you want a pack? Yeah, what is this equation? What's the situation? Okay, um, let's go with Oh my god, okay, here we go. Here we go. Let me take let me think let me think let me think okay It's a shake way to the count It is A pep talk before the game before the game before the big whatever you want, okay, before the big game over before I'm Say before regionals it's a pep talk before regionals. Okay, that really helped me all right Oh boys Yeah, listen, yeah, it's hot out there So let's keep up the water intake okay All right, I have a big shit coming and I gotta go I gotta go drop the kids off at the pool All right, okay, well, it's tied up. This is pretty important Yeah, it is okay, and so is you know my prostate pretty important. Oh, I gotta let this all in that all right The kids the kids the kids are the kids You know what I have no idea nurses just go in there and they tell me something wrong Yeah, yeah, I have one with me at all times. Okay, you know I'm saying she's checking it. Yeah, maybe you should go to the hospital. Yeah, we have not go to the hospital I'm gonna go take a dump. Oh, all right, I have to do with your prostate. Yeah, I don't know where my prostate is all right well anyways Hey, we got we got the shake in someone's hand. We got the tamales coming back out for you and they're looking really Listen, hey, I know we're all tied up So let's not keep it tied up. Oh, okay All right, it's coming out thank you coach. No prop um Brat brat brat brat brat just brat good name. Okay. Thank you. Thank you coach. Of course Jesus come on raised a lot and spank my what is it spank my butt my butt in fart Why are we so you're spanking and you farting? Why are we talking that we remember and for yeah, yeah, you did yeah, all right Next try to tap that I might not be able to 10 is the best and one is the worst yes, yes, all right ladies We got our big group number coming up. I want everyone spinning Uh the best that they can And you're all ugly little girls. Oh, oh So I want to see you be pretty out there all right Thank your moms are awful Awful women and I don't want to hear from them. Thanks Abby. Okay Yeah, I was I was doing a dance competition. That's all I got. Okay, great. Thanks so much. Okay, bye Okay, hey champ. What's up, dad? Yeah, real proud of you. Um, so wow. I love you. Finally finally here. What? I love you, dad Yeah Well, yeah, this is pretty cool. This is uh, so this is lacrosse. Yeah, I'm gonna make you proud. I'm gonna make you and grandpa proud, dad Yeah Well Not yet, well You know and dad if you can just say you're proud of me. I'll go out there and crush this game This is too hard. I I'm not able to uh, I got to head out um The got some work stuff and um, it's the last quarter dead. It's yeah, you know, but I got some work stuff but All right, sorry. The car has been running for like 20 minutes dad. Who's that? That's my secretary. Look. I gotta go Don't worry grandpa. It's gonna watch your game remember. Yeah, grandpa's here The only thing closer to lacrosse is the cross Hey I'm over here. Yeah, are you not you're not seeing grandpa still Oh my god, it smells like cabbage in here. We have to go, babe. All right, son. Good luck Good luck with your base. It's like lentils and cabbage like stairs gonna be sick. Okay, what are you going so bad for this kid? Oh my god, he's gonna pull this old guy out of the room. Wait, we can't leave this old guy in here. Is this your dad? What the fuck was that? Reverse. All right, we're not with this asshole. He's not actually my dad, but you know, we kind of text along. I would like to guess two. You're crazy. We keep getting ones and two. That was the worst situation of all time. That was really really good. I'm so out of it. This is so insane. Those farts were crazy. The wing from the secretary. Yeah. Dad, who's this? He promised me I'm milkshakes. Jesus. Who's guessing? You knocked one of them. Tommy, don't. Whoa. How did you do that? You're aggressive, push, even like took off the number. You know, when you're a kid and you have so much excitement and you can't, we can't see the number. You know, it's two. You know, it's two. You know, it's two. It's crazy. No, it's two. Fill in the blank. You guys be guys be honest. Context clue. You guys be honest. Do you like cheesecake milkshakes? No. Cheesecake milkshakes. They're like cheesecake flavored milkshake. I don't. I'm not a big cheesecake guy. I love it. All right. Oh, you got it. No, it's fine. I like cheesecake. I don't want to cut that off. You was really not in the way. I don't want a milkshake cheesecake milkshake. He let me go. All right. All right. I was about to I was about to say I was about to say let's do desserts for the next. Oh, that's so good. You're standing excited. Desert is good. No. Okay. Whose turn is it? Mine. Oh. Ooh. Stop it. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Move it around. No. This is interesting because this is interesting because everyone has different palettes. I know. So I'm trying to think for Tommy. So let's think for Tommy. Okay. Think about my palette. I'm thinking about your palette. So tennis like the bass. All right. I've got my answer. Whoa. I don't. I wasn't even thinking or I'm gonna go with I'm gonna go with Brownie. For Tommy. Yeah. Interesting. Brownie. I like a brownie. I'm gonna take a brownie. I'm gonna take a risk. Brownies are good. I can go. You go because I don't know. Okay. Yeah. I'm gonna. Vanilla ice cream monitor alone. I'm gonna go alone. Okay. That's interesting. And Tens, really good. Yeah. Tens the best. I'm gonna go a dark chocolate raspberry ganache cake. Okay. What's a, what's a ganache? It's just like a really silk. It's like a sticky silky. Yeah. Dark chocolate raspberry. It's like a pork. Yeah. Yeah. Like a slurpy tort. Like a pork. Slurpy twat is happening. What is happening? Going ganache, ganache. Silky not ganache. ganache. ganache is the great. ganache is wine. Yeah. ganache is wine. Which honestly a raspberry dark chocolate ganache cake. Okay. I see. Okay. Okay. Okay. See. Sounds good to see. Okay. Like sea salt caramel ice cream that has a hard chocolate shell with like a gorgeous like light airy chocolate cake that's in like a small cute little cup with a tiny little spoon and then a matching like thin sexy glass that like opens right. I'm going too hard. Right. It's a seven. Wow. And there's and there's and there's there's like a there's like a port that you don't really know much about. And someone puked but like a little few tables away. No, that's not what I said. I am that presentation is there. Okay. That sounds high. Your sounds pretty good too. Yours is less so I'm like if I'm putting this together I feel like it would be a seven or a six but your sounds like a nine and your sounds like an eight and your sounds like a six maybe a five. The port is like so what are you going to do? So like how far away to someone? Leave the port alone. So how far away to tell people eight inches away. Maybe eight feet away. Eight feet away? Yeah. It's probably an eight. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. You got it. Okay. I was like I was like I was thinking like like on the scale of ice creams a 10. I was going too hard. Oh. I was about to go so deep and then you had to pull me back. What would have been a 10? What would be better? I would have been a 10. She got lost. She got a flame. You truly just I literally got lost. Yeah. You started thinking I got so lost. We got to get you a dessert. Get this woman and get these woman a dessert. I'm surprised you didn't add ice cream because Tommy likes ice cream. I know but that would be a 10 for that would be a brownie with ice cream is is not an eight. That's like nine nine or 10. I don't know. It's just so ice cream. I want more ice cream is crazy. I want more. But like I don't need a fancy dessert. But if you can have like a dessert that's like an ula la bu ba ba look at his shirt. He's in ula la once you when he wants something that I went first. Once you got into that territory I was like oh well I should have done right. He wants like tiny little cute little like see where it's for me. I'm like a cookie. That's a nine. Wow. That's you know doesn't take much man. It does it. It's about taste. It's just you guys know for me. I like cinnamon desserts and I like lemon desserts. I love that. I love that. Me. I like creme brulee. I love lemon desserts as well. I actually prefer that more than like a big honking. Okay. I want to know. I want to know carrot cake. Oh just fuck me up with carrot cake. I like carrot cake. Carrot cake. Carrots like a six or seven for me. I like it. But it's not super high up. What about just where would a sleeve of Oreos land on the scale? Probably like I will always go for fun Oreos. Okay. I had the cinnamon bun Oreos recently. I'm not that you like cinnamon. So it works for you. What is your number one? What is your number one Oreo? Because my the answer there is a specific Oreo that is the best Oreo double stuff double stuff. Well double stuff. But what net plane regular. Oh green green the mint one. Green. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. I know Selena and James agree with me guys. It is the Halloween orange Oreos. They are the best. What do you don't agree Selena? I just like a plain double. She said your brother is the orange. Orange Halloween Oreos are the best double stuff. I don't know what it is. I don't know what it is sweet pancake BTS Oreos. That's too much. It was delicious. No. The Halloween Oreos are the best the Easter like yellow ones are like pretty good. And then the Christmas ones are good. But just Halloween or you just need a little artificial die. They're different. He likes grocery store cake. I like grocery store cake. I'm not a big cake guy. I don't like cake that much. You don't like cake that much. Not compared to other designs. I don't need their ice cream person. I take cakes. I'm into it. Me too. But most cakes don't cake. What about a cobbler? I love a cobbler. I love a cobbler. I love a cobbler. I love a cobbler. How do we feel about flan? I love flan. You have to be done right. When Selena made fucking flan. Yeah. Of course. My god. Yeah. Flan. All of these are fun. But not like an American restaurant that's like we do flan. Obviously, I'm not talking about that. I'm not like, yeah, I've just had a dessert. Where does the fuck up? Have you guys been to Alcove and Losfield? Of course. Those cheesecakes. I know you're not big on cheesecake. But also I had one of the best pastries of all time. I was a rose and pistachio pastry with gold flakes. They're lavender cake. I know it sounds crazy. Yes, it's so good. So fucking good. They're same colors are praline cheesecake. Oh, would you say some colors are of course the same colors my corset. It's away from me and I'm not going to prom. What? Sometimes like when the flavors get a little too fancy, I'm just like it's praline. She's a king of fans. I'm going to bring you a slice of this and you're going to be like, I'm sure he is an American boy. He wants a chocolate chip cookie. How do we feel about a root beer float? Feel the feel about? Yum. I'm not in on the root beer float. Really? It's like, okay. I'm in. I would rather have so many other things. I'm in whatever what root beer? Because there's muds. Let's go with barks. There's oh in a thousand. I'm into barks. Yeah, barks is that's my fifth. And W has my sugar free. Okay. Here's what I do. But barks. I would have a balan de brownie, a vanilla bean ice cream, and a root beer reduction that's warm that I pour over the top. Okay. That's delicious. That sounds beautiful. Wow. Shane can't get by now because you said that. No, I'll get behind that. It's a lot of that is context based, right? Right. Something in root beer float. I'm thinking like I'm out at a park. Yeah. Like you're out. But if I'm that, I'm like, then it's got to be night time. Sure. Yes. I'm out of fancy place. Then sure. But what I'm thinking of desserts most, most of the times when I end up with desserts are not at restaurants. I'm usually like out somewhere, like whatever. Like the last time I had ice cream, like I was just out in a town in Colorado walking around and I got some frozen yogurt. That's right. Well, sure. It was incredible. Yeah, I don't order dessert usually at restaurants unless they have like something weird or interesting. Yeah. Like I love the stashio or rose or like custard. Yes. Yeah. I'm pretty. We have similar palette. Yes, we do. That's why we share food when we go on. - We do. - We do. - All right, everything. - I will eat anything. That's the thing. - Go, go, go. - I'll eat the fancy stuff. - Go, go, go, go, go. - Go, go, go, go. - Okay, so we go back to the game. - Yeah, bite of the table. - No, I think Shane's still working. - Desserts was a good-- - Who is it? - Oh, Shane? - Oh, I see. - Yeah, it's Shane's turn. - Okay. - This episode of Smoshmouth is sponsored by ZockDock. We've been spending the wheel not knowing where it's going to land, but taking a chance like that in your health is no joke. Taking care of yourself is so important, and we all deserve to find care that we love. I want to live a long life. I got things to do. That's why I use ZockDock. ZockDock lets you search and compare local in-network doctors and it's free to use, so you literally have zero excuses. ZockDock offers more than 150,000 providers with 200-plus specialties, physical therapist, ENT, and oral surgeon are just a few examples. And scheduling appointments is easy. I can see appointment openings and click to instantly book a visit. I love ZockDock. It's so easy to find in-network doctors, just right on the app. I love using it, it's easy. Your health matters and taking care of yourself shouldn't be complicated. Find and book the right doctor with ZockDock. Head to ZockDock.com/Smoshmouth to get started and check that appointment off your to-do list. That's zocdoc.com/Smoshmouth. [MUSIC PLAYING] Yeah, I did it. OK, six. Stop it now. OK, do this. What is your topic? I get an arch nemesis. Like an arch nemesis shows up that I have to fight. OK. Or maybe like, yeah. And so 10 being like, oh, shit. This is a really challenging cool arch nemesis. And one is like an arch nemesis that I'm like, you're going to-- I can't believe I have to fuck it. Not that I'm like going to beat them. Is it made up or-- Yeah, made up. It's made up. Like, you show up and you get to be my like super villain. Oh, shit. I get a super villain. And so like, 10 is like, oh, shit. They're formidable and also cool. OK. One is like this sucks. Like, yeah. Your arch nemesis, that is this number, is shadow shane. That's really good. He is exactly you, but complete shadow. God, that's so sick. Red eyes. And he can create weapons with his shadow smoke. That's sick. Yeah. It's almost like a preference. And he talks like this. The solidification of like, you know, like-- It's like the darkness in your soul. Like, yeah, facing-- I have to face myself. Yeah. It's exactly like, it's like your temptations and everything. Like, that's really fucking sick. He loves a complicated dessert. That's really good. That's funny. In many ways, he is the opposite of me, but in many ways, he is also the same as me. Whoa. Wow. I mean, I'm not good enough. Good luck topping that. Honestly, yeah. That's kind of like-- That was honestly so sick. Silver to what I was going to do. He said that really fast. All right. This is machete shane. Well, it feels derivative. Fine, fine, fine. This is-- This is-- You can do machete shane. No, no, no, no, no, no, no. This is hot woman. Like, you're like-- OK. OK. Yes, keep going, keep going, keep going. OK. This is Jessica Rabbit. Jessica Rabbit? Rabbit Rabbit. Rabbit. Robert. Jessica Rabbit. Jessica Rabbit. Jessica Rabbit. Jessica Rabbit. Did Nero. Jessica Rabbit comes in. Jessica Rabbit, Downey Jr. Rabbit comes in. Jessica Rabbit. Wait, bye, Robert. Yes, she has Courtney's voice. OK. [LAUGHTER] Again, this isn't supposed to be a nemesis. This is supposed to be a nemesis. All right. And he comes in. And she's like, help me. And she needs your help. But every time we get closer, she has machetes. She has machetes pop out of every joint in her body. Listen. We're-- look at all we're doing. That's literally the only thing. Jessica Rabbit. That's for wife. OK. That's your wife's voice. And she's like, oh, help me, Shayne. I'm in trouble. And every time you go to help her, she has machetes. This sucks. See, so Tommy's had me going like, oh, it's just like a nine. And yours has me going like, oh, are you OK? Shut up. Here's what my original was. But it's too close to Tommy's. I was going to do mirror-shane, where it's like literally-- it's a bunch of mirrors. And every mirror, every reflection that comes back is like, you as your younger self. OK. That's what I was going to do. But fuck it. That person's dead. And so do you. Because Jessica Rabbit with machete arms killed. Yeah. How about this? So let's just grab it. Chance she doesn't. She doesn't. [MUSIC PLAYING] She doesn't know I could use a soundtrack. Doing a Titan. Well, Jessica Rabbit has fucking heels and machete arms. Don't. This is somehow a 9 or a 10, which is crazy. Which is crazy. I had to like offset what was going on. You have to bring out one of the biggest arch nemesis in like all of mythology. Right. I'm going to go with 10. Is it 10? It was 9. It was 9, so close. I got it right out on the back. Yeah. But Chance, you had no choice. Because I'm into that one. That was so good. What did you want me to do? Like fucking Odysseus with machete arms? You could have done-- You could have done-- you could have just-- there's a lot of things to have chosen. Your bullet is like a super strong, awesome guy. Like, you could have just done-- She was super strong, but she kept being like, I need your help. And then you got closer. And she was confused about it. Why don't you help her? She's super strong. She was manipulating you. OK. Jesus Christ. She's just in a rabbit. You know what? Ben. Spin. Is it me? Yes. This is Amanda's new catchphrase. What? 10 being a really awesome catchphrase. One being a really bad new catchphrase. OK, OK. This is my new catchphrase. Do we like that? Do we don't have to do that? I love it. I like that. OK. This is my new catchphrase that I say around the office. Yeah, and in videos, this is like the new thing like-- And 10 is like cool. When fans think of your quote, like, this is the Amanda quote. OK, here it goes. 10 is cool. Here it goes, here it goes. Looks like girly pops on girly top. I actually kind of like that. Oh. You know what I realized? Am I going to like all of these, probably? But people listening, they don't get to see the number so they have to guess along. Yeah, that's fun. That is kind of fun. And someone driving their car to work just threw up. So girly top. That's pretty cool. OK, I'm getting some vibes. I'm scared mine's going to be-- Just do it. Well, mommy like me, and I'm mommy. I can understand why this is going. It feels just carabbit territory. It's very awesome burger. Yeah. Random burger. Random burger. Awesome sauce. Ox sauce. Ox sauce. This is whenever someone like me or like someone does something that annoys you, you're like, I'm getting pretty upsetting spaghetti right now. I'm sick to my stomach right now. I feel like we're under. No, there could be worse. Yeah. Can we go one more round? Yeah, of course. OK, OK, OK. Mommy like you, and I'm mommy. Pretty good. I think she's going to start doing that. Spread the love. Not the hate. God, it feels like a college poster or five. I got it. Yeah, that's right. OK, I kind of like that one. That's carabbit territory again, love it. You can't hide. I didn't hide. Just grab it, machete arms. Fanart. Let's just show it. Or spread the love. Or the strawberry. J-Om. Ew. Farmers market. This is like kind of your sign out. And you'll just be like, all right, guys, peace out. OK, yeah, that feels right. See, that's making me want to go like six. And you guys are making me want to go like three or four. Or five. Just pick one number. No, or seven, or eight, or nine, or ten. I'm going to say I'm saying three, whatever. Yes, you got it. That's it. You got it. Well, which one are you picking? What's your new phrase? I think mommy like you and I'm mommy. Mommy like you and I'm mommy. Sounds like something I would say in people's go. I think you would say, oh, yeah. OK. I will close my eyes, let us see what he picks on the wheel. Do it again. It's smiley face. You can't do it on. Oh, OK. The category is, you're breaking up with me. Ten is the best breakup. One is the worst way to break up with him. Damn. Is that a good prompt or should I give you another one? That's a great prompt. A good prompt. It's a challenging prompt. Take your time in the interim. I will think. There's no blue. Hey, chance I know this isn't the best time. What can I talk to you? Thank you. Oh, yeah, sorry. This is the best time I've ever been to. [LAUGHTER] Shayna's cried three times this time. [LAUGHTER] You scared her up to that. Literally, and then he went-- I think, Shayna, everything is when you gear up for something. It's always so lovely. He has not like all of this mic since he sat here. I just want everyone to know, he loves it. It's very sweet. You're just like, OK, OK, hold on, hold on, hold on. [LAUGHTER] Because I'm going for the possibilities, I'm not just doing something on it. You're doing the Dr. Stranger, where we're like-- Yeah, I was like 14 million won for the funniest pic. Like only one. Oh, all of the cringe. Hey, no, no, no, no, no. OK, go ahead. Curly pops on. Curly top, OK, let's go. That one's good. So, um, hi, Tommy. Hey, what's up? Yeah, um, oh, no, we've been-- Uh, having a lot of fun and like enjoying our time. But I just started to take you off of the karaoke stage just then. Oh, you're good, no. I just-- Yeah. Pick the next guy. Pick the next guy. I'll say, yeah. I'll just go like 20 minutes. I just feel like it's important what we talk about this, um-- Is everything OK? Yeah, not really. I-- I just am not the biggest fan of you singing. Oh. And I think-- Oh, I think it's over between us. Wait, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. Wait, what? I'm really singing. Because of my singing? Yeah. That's-- Tommy, that's crazy. You understand that's crazy, right? No, I got to go and I'm really sorry. Go! I got-- I'm-- we're breaking up. I'm sorry. In this bar right now? Yeah, but-- We're waiting on drinks. Do you want to-- can we go outside and talk? I'll close my tab right now. I'll cover the tab. Uh. Oh, ma'am. Sorry, I'm in the middle of a song. I got to go. You guys get off the stage. Goodbye. But-- what? You stole my bike. Wow. [BEEPING] Oh, my God. Shit, I didn't have an explosion. OK. OK. Then I left was not part of the number. Got rid of that. That was just a fun little extra bit. OK. OK. Hey, Chance. Hey, Dennis, what's up? So I'm Tommy. You're pretty good at this, Dennis. You look so Dennis. Dennis, look, I've been having such a great time with you. Yeah, me too. It's been awesome. But I think-- I think it's just not really working out for me. I think I'm just not feeling it. But I hope we can still be good friends. Wait, whoa, whoa, whoa. Yeah, I'm just-- I'm sorry, I like-- I'm just going through a lot. Oh, no. I just feel like I'm not feeling like that this is going the way. But hey, so I know we all-- we had those-- I know we had those tickets to go see-- Yeah. Third, I blind. Yeah. I was wondering, would it be OK if I took someone else to take those tickets? Yeah. Babe, I've been literally waiting in the car for-- Take it, I got this. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Well, I mean, I can-- I can Venmo you. Oh, a little crash in here. Maybe. But we can forget that out later. OK, you know what, yeah. And thank you for being so forthright. Yeah, of course. It didn't work out, and that's fine. Yeah. Thank you for not leading me on and searching us out. Yeah, for sure. All right. We go. Yeah, I'm going to go. I'm going to go to the-- It's literally tonight, so I'm like a-- I hope you-- I hope you have other plans. Yeah, because-- No, I don't. I hope you can get some. I'll see you later. Yeah. That's-- oh. All right. All right. I got it. Literally, the Boringist conversation I've ever experienced. Got to get to my son, Little Cross game, all right? Boring. OK. This is a big plate of non-Jews. Oh, oh, typically. This G's all-- Oh, great. Oh, God, it took forever. And I tri-- oh, no! And I tripped. Oh, fuck. - Oh, fuck. Oh, no. - Oh, no. - Babe, it's fine, it's fine. - Oh, fuck, oh. - Oh, shit. - Claire, Claire, it's literally fun. - No, there's not just everywhere. - Oh my god. - Oh my god. - I'll go upstairs and change. - Oh my god. Yeah, go upstairs and change 'cause I made these in the microwave. They're probably really hot. - Yeah, oh, wow, they are really hot. I just noticed. - Yeah, um, man. - Is everything okay? - You're probably gonna need to change back at your house. - Oh, what do you mean? - Your stuff? - Yeah. - I'm gonna put it in a bag. - Why would you do that? - I can't do this anymore. - Like, they're not just-- - They're not just-- - Reminently, us. - Oh, is there a reason or a reason? - I just need to be free. Like, it's actually like very amazing. - Yeah. - I just feel like-- - I'm also a part of this relationship, right, so. - Yes, of course. - Yeah. - You are, you're a part of this, and I really am super sorry. But like, I didn't want you to have to like, have it be awkward and go up there and pack up all your stuff, so I just packed up your stuff at a time. - Your notches at me? - No, no, I literally tripped on the cat toy. - Oh my god, I thought you were like, your notches at me. - No, no, no, no. - Okay, that would be crazy. - I would never. - Okay, great. Okay, um, yeah. - Chance, I was gonna call you babe, but that feels like disrespectful. - Well, we've been dating for three months, so I don't think that'd be crazy. - Yeah. - Yeah, but-- - So I have to end this. - Okay. - Such a bummer. - I'm gonna take the cat, though. (baby crying) - You know what? - Oh wow, you're gonna give me the cat right now. - Give me like, a day to think about it. (laughing) - Okay, yeah. - And you can stay as long as you want to clean that up. You don't have to like rush out. - I'm cleaning up the notches that you spilt. - I'll get a tied to go pen. How about I think about cleaning up the notches for a day? - That's crazy. You're gonna sit in that for a whole day. - Right. - Right. - So I'm gonna guess like, wait, 10 being the best way. - Yeah. - Yeah. - Yeah. - I'm gonna guess, I'm gonna go four. - Yeah! - Yes! - Yeah! - Oh my god! - Oh my god! - We did it. - I just wanted mine to be really, did you date guys like that? At any point, like when you're a teenager in college, 'cause-- - What do you mean? - What do you mean like that? - Just the way that you were, that guy was operating, I just am like, man, you had to know a guy like this. - Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. I don't know if I've dated a guy like this, but I've definitely had friends who have dated a guy like this. I just know this guy. - Yeah. - Yeah, chill guy. - He's very one of those guys. It's like, oh, 'cause you played that guy so well. Thank you. - And you played that guy a lot? Like I feel like multiple characters throughout "Bath Legacy" and that guy. - Oh yeah, well that guy's a little, he's a little flirtier. Oh, that guy, I know, very well. It's just like. - Yeah, I hate that smile. - I know those guys. Yeah, I definitely have dated one of those guys way back in the day. I haven't really met those guys out here though. Those were like-- - That's not the type of guy-- - Those are back home. - Yeah, that's not the type of shitty guy you get in LA. - No, the shitty guy in LA is-- - The problem is like-- - I don't know. I think they may be worse. - I think they are worse in LA because they have the facade. They have a better facade. - They're too expensive. - The back home, you're like, okay. - They know what they're up from here. - Yeah. - But here in LA, they don't pretend-- - Wolf in a sheepskin. - Yeah. - Yes, exactly. - Or Odysseus in a lion skin. (laughs) - Oh, me, I'm awful. - And I am Paulie famous. - Piemoth? - Piemoth? - Paulie famous. - Piemoth. - Paulie famous. - Paulie famous. - Paulie famous. - Piemoth. - Anyways. - That was really good. That was a challenging one, I would say. - That was actually quite a challenge. - Yeah. - Yeah. - You guys were all very communicative. It wasn't like fucked up, but it was just like, I mean a little more explanation and I'm not getting that. - Yes. - It was like, oh, it's a decent breakup, but they're just shitty-ass. It was like, it's like, we're very one-sided. It's I'm taking care of myself without regards to how it relates to you. - Yes, and it's right now. - And it's immediate. - Yeah. - It's like I can just cut this relationship off whenever I want to. - So what would a one-beat? A text? - And then that's like a full on. - One is a full on like, a fair and a leaving for that person in there. Like you're losing a bunch of shit. - One would be like, this is my new boyfriend. Come on in. - Yes. - He looks like you, but hot. You know, I'd be like, okay, well. - Wait, that literally happened to me. I was dating this guy and we were, he was in town and he was, how to date when he was moving. And he moved back to South Carolina and we were gonna, we were talking about doing long distance, we haven't really talked about it, but we didn't talk about, like we were kind of separated. Like it was just like he was moving. So it was like we weren't gonna be together. And then two days after he was like, I'm gonna miss my boyfriend on Instagram, he posts. I'm gonna miss my boyfriend. Mind you, we've been dating for like, we've been going on dates and going like baby showers and shit for three months. It's been a while. We're spending a lot of time here. - Yeah, yeah, yeah. - Like I'm meeting his family. I met his mom and his sister. - Oh. - Yeah. - And then he posts the next day, my beautiful boyfriend who looks just like me. He's like light skin, half black, curls, crazy eyes. And I was like, I felt so stupid. I felt so dumb. But it was, that's a lot. - How would you know? And then you feel so dumb. - Isn't that crazy that that's your first thought is like you feel so dumb, but literally how would you know? - How did you know? - How would you expect that? - No. - Yeah. - Also, fuck him. - He posted it. - He posted it. - Wild. - Did you do anything? - He truly took all of you and mapped it onto this snooper. - Yeah. - That's the only way. - Did you say anything? - Yeah, of course. - Yeah, you called him out. - I did, he just not care. - He was like, I'm sorry. Like I'm sorry, I'm sorry. I'm like, I know. And it was just like, it was just like a blatant like, I know that I was doing wrong. I know what I did. - Yeah, I'm not lying about it. - He's just like, I know I'm sorry. - And then, I was close with his friends and his friends were like, yeah, we knew the whole time. You knew the whole time. - Oh, oh. - Hello. - Oh, we'll fuck all of them. - Right. - And now they're all in LA. - They all moved to LA. - Let's find them. - And they're like, let's be body body. - This is before us all. - That's so much. - No, no, no, no, no. - Yeah. - Help us get cast and shit. - No. - We were doing the short film. - Can you come do that? - We fucked you over earlier, but no, the fuck I can't. - What? - No, be like, they already have me. I'm right here. - Right. - Well, it's not the boy for any wants to get cast. It's the friends. - No, yeah. - All right, Farts. (laughing) - Okay, let's do it real quick, 'cause we gotta go. - All right, let's go. - Okay, it's a fart and a goodbye. What, is there a number on the board? Spin it again. - Who's looking? - Wait, yeah. Tommy, right? - Tommy. - It's my thing that I can say. - Okay. - Got it? - Okay. - All right, so what's the scale here? - 10 is like really, wait, yeah. - 10 is like, you need to go to the hospital and I feel like I need to turn this video off immediately. Number one is, LOL, that wasn't even a goodbye. - Okay. - It's fart goodbye, it's a combo. - Okay. - Okay. - It's fart goodbye. - It's fart goodbye. - Spank my ass. - No, we can't top that old man Farts. - I think we got, here we go. - All right. Do you want me to go first? - Yes, please. - All right, I'll see you later. - That was good. - Okay. - Yeah. - Okay. - It's a light. - Come on. - Mommy, lighty. And I'm Mommy. - Okay. - Okay. - Okay, okay. - Okay, okay. - Hey guys, thanks for watching Smosh Mouth. I'm Chance. - Mm-hmm. (laughing) - That was pretty fucking great. - That was well done. - Okay, is it? - Really good. - It feels like a two. - Got it. - Yeah! - Okay, hold on. - Speak my ass and fart and feel the explosion. - Okay, I'll do it. I'll do a send-off with this one over here. - Yeah, do a send-off with 10. - With 10. - Okay, hospital? (laughing) - Go! Go get out! (screaming) - Fuck! - That sucks. - Oh. - Do you love this one? (laughing) - Geez. - Do I love the most if you go get out? - Get out. - So ending a video with go, get out. - So I'm warning you so hard. Like a ship is sinking. Go! Get out! - Imagine you walk into a public restroom and there's somebody to install and they yell that out. - I would get out. - I would get out. - I would get out. - I would go and leave it. - I'm gone. - Get out. - I'm gone. - I would die laughing if you're in an airport bathroom. - Well, get out. - You really, really, just go. - Go! - Get out. (laughing) - Stop. I'm gonna die, I'm gonna die. - Okay. - Okay, wow. Guys, that was Smoshmouth. - A wheel. - Part two. - A wheel returns. - That was so fun. - That was incredible. - I never wanted to end. - What a great time. - Yeah, thank you, Chanson Tommy, for being amazing, and thanks Shane for being here. - Yeah, you know. - It's good to have you back, actually. - Yeah, thanks. - You're welcome. - All right. - Go! - Get out. - Get out. - Get out.