#150 - The East Coast Episode w/ The Basement Yard

insurance isn't one size fits all and shopping for it shouldn't feel like squeezing into something that just doesn't fit that's why drivers have enjoyed progressives name your price tool for years with the name your price tool you tell them what you want to pay and they show you options that fit your budget enough hunting for discounts trying to calculate rates and tinkering with coverages maybe you're picking out your very first policy or maybe you're just looking for something that works better for you and your family either way they make it simple to see your options no guesswork no surprises ready to see how easy and fun shopping for car insurance can be visit progressive.com and give the name your price tool a try take the stress out of shopping and find coverage that fits your life on your terms progressive casualty insurance company and affiliates price and coverage match limited by state law this is hoda kotb from joy 101 with hoda kotb whether you're calling the wise women in your life video calling your girlfriends across the country or checking in on someone who always knows how to make you smile staying connected matters those small conversations shared laughs and quick hellos are what keep relationships strong even when life gets busy some of the most life-changing conversations start with just a phone call that's why at&t guarantees a network you can rely on so you can focus on the moments and people that matter most that's the at&t guarantee at&t connecting changes everything terms and conditions apply visit att.com slash guarantee for details hi welcome to smosh mouth i'm shane and i'm amanda and we have two very special guests with us today we have frank and joe from the basement yard that's right thanks so excited to have you guys here because it's the east coast episode not you okay you get yeah the east coast of arizona these yeah i don't even think that's right probably yeah probably not phoenix i think is square in the middle yeah and you guys said that boston was your favorite place no that place sucks that's what you guys said you guys have been talking shit all morning already i haven't no you've been talking a lot of frank's been crazy i mean i mean well first of all if you just you just need to ask him about watch the clips are east coasters love to like boast and shit on other places like a lot of like if it's just like this place or that place it's not a calm like it's not a calm conversation no if you ask him about philly he'll go off about philly but like i don't know i won't i don't ask me about it you like philly it's a bathroom i think that's true i think like the streets were made to be like like urinals i don't think i've ever been to philly i've never been it's a it's i can see the light in your eyes still yeah my soul is here jokes jokes aside boston as a place i'm whatever the people so that was the good part of this joke society pretty bad i thought a compliment was coming no boston is a place okay you don't have to do it again the people have been very kind to us the sports teams though don't yeah i agree with that no yeah absolutely what yeah of course the red socks are incredible they are dog water yeah i don't follow it's delicious i don't follow baseball but what was that no that's me defending any way that i can dog water is yummy what i don't continue the conversation okay i was gonna say that i think that boston like being in the city is like it's a cool city yeah i don't like the teams no yeah i don't like that's fine it's okay guys i love the accent i think it's the funniest it is a very funny accent you know what's weird is like i don't really have a big so you're like fake from boston don't you fucking do you're gonna get fucking earlier she was like oh yeah i go back all the time i'm like how often she's like twice a year i'm like that's a good amount to travel all the way across the country joe that is a lot what to you counts as a lot four times every christmas every christmas four times at least once a quarter okay that doesn't help your argument if it's just for like christmas it's like no i know i know i know you would go back more if you could if i could yeah yeah and and my my dad has a very thick accent does he yes it's very thick although manta you know there's there's so many things going on in uh so netflix is a crazy place so many things going on in so so pam and i finished netflix we finished it i'm like what does that mean is that your mom's name no oh okay okay that's my dad's wife oh you're you're a former child i'm a divorced child dog you too your parents love each other and you're from arizona yeah fuck you i like being from arizona's like man you lucky son of a bitch you're from arizona you're being shamed for your parents figuring how about this how about this how where are your grandparents uh well one one one set of grandparents are dead uh the ones that were in colorado and then my grandparents were in tampa are both still alive my grandpa's 91 or 92 it's getting crazy you said basically but my grandmother is she's like 80s my mom was like 80s my grandma 2012 is when she died and they were all dead before that yeah i i'm a former grandchild right yeah yeah they they've been gone yeah they've been gone for a long time they're so dead they're so dead before the divorce super dead great question or the divorce i mean you know the the they they both um not both but my grandmother's you know she had died years prior but because she had like dementia so she was gone for a while no your grandma died after your parents got divorced yeah i mean the divorce it started when they got married if you think about it it's all downhill from okay oh yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah no i get it man yeah did you hear did you hear the leading cause of like it's like a new thing the leading cause of divorce in the country is 100 of people close 100 of people that get divorced had gotten married wait what the fuck i know divorce say it yeah so people get divorced because they got married not because but shut up joe don't start what what are you talking about can i can i say sorry change the subject slightly no fine but like i had watched your guys podcast before and we did a recording of reddit stories yesterday and within literally two minutes of start i was like i was like oh man i'm such a fan like they do their thing i wonder if they're gonna do like their thing you know when they're here you said something and immediately you did the the like and i literally i paused for a second i was like wow they're they're they're hopping right how we are yeah it's just literally you are doing this off camera too absolutely it's non-stop it really 100 of the time when do you know that the like when you first meet a person that you could also be like that with them oh that's a good question i think you know just met today yeah and i feel very comfortable yeah i think you like immediately sat down and i told you my family and i were going to turks and cacos and you were like i would bone turks and cacos yeah yeah and we were like i said fuck i don't think she said yeah whatever i was like let me stop yeah but i think you know you can just get a vibe from the person like and it just clicked and it's like an un it's an unspoken thing like it kind of just clicks at a certain point yeah there's also like a line you can tow with people when you first meet them where it's like it's not that you're being rude it's because you you're but it's like a loving sort of joking with someone yes that's not like if you meet someone who's overly polite you're like okay i don't know if i could do the riffing thing with this person yeah because it's like i don't know yet but when there is that like i can make a dig at you type of thing like that would make you super yeah it's a comfortability yeah it's a it's a vulnerability i feel like we do that at smosh and sometimes our fans don't don't don't get a read on it and so they'll be like they're really mean to angelo right now and it's like that happened that happened to us really yeah because our producer and once we put him on the thing they were like yo they're so fucked up to him oh it's like fuck this kid first of all he's an asshole it's so funny you the three of you guys your relationship it's so funny like you rag on him and it's so funny but like i he's the worst yeah he does bully you i called him because i felt bad because you know the last thing i want is like to him to actually think that like it's like real and he's like i actually like i take it as like you're inviting me in you know like to like the the hangout and stuff like that so i'm like all right yeah that's right fuck you yeah yeah okay then you hung up yeah i slammed it he he reels me back though joey reels me back because i could get a little i sometimes i don't know where the line is are you meaner than joey oh my god i don't know if meaner's the word my interpretation from watching you guys is that unfortunately i feel like i know you're the yeah but that's the that's the that's the thing that happens because it's like oh frank's this whimsy guy and then i have to reel him in all the time just bullshit no i feel like that's i feel like amanda and i's thing but i think it's just like i'm the one who i make fun of you more than you make fun of me so am i i don't know you make fun of me a lot too am i whimsical am i the whimsy one you're definitely whimsical yeah definitely there's the i'm sensing whimsy in the room i'm a general whimsy yes yeah because from your clips it does feel like you're like i i did this thing today and joe's like oh let's hear it i don't care what's happening i don't give a fuck but meeting you guys it's kind of different like you are so mean to joe it's no way i'm kidding i'm kidding no way no i'm kidding it's i i think it's just like the the like playful banter like we know kind of like what story is coming so like we know like yeah oh here we go you know and um it's not like neither of us are me i would never say that either of us are mean but like it's definitely like i will commit to a bit to the point where like yeah reel back a little bit he also loves pranks he's like a 90s teen bully in a way like yeah because you were telling me about fart bags yeah did you have fart bags so i didn't have fart bags we had like fart like stink things that we would do in the hallway you know what sometimes i start a story and i wish i never do this like things stink um out of butts we were taking shit no they were the they were the little like uh foil like packs and you would pop something in it and it would explode and it just smelled like a dumpster i no i didn't have that we had like literally like a little smoke bomb and it was farts and you'd put it in the hallway it was smoke see what goes on in massachusetts it's crazy massachusetts is crazy yeah they were yeah it sounds like it yeah everything but you'll mention things about massachusetts and then i'll see comments being like i'm from massachusetts and i've never fucking heard of this before yeah maybe it's just i mean it's also like a different generation like we all grew up in the generation where like stuff like that was like was happening farts were pranks now they're like you smell a fart in the hallway i imagine they're just like lock the doors down something is going on there's a gas more serious all the time yeah that's like the worst prank that you've pulled on joe oh do you pull any pranks on joe is it just like you do pranks to your wife he just does like uh your your wife no like um he just he did the fart bag thing to me yeah like we were recording a show uh a show and this at this point i was i had to set up in my apartment so he threw a fart bag in my apartment and he just hit it and he's like throwing us now we're throwing it back and forth because it takes time to like so we're throwing it back and forth and then it got knocked off the table i broke like a mug or something and then it went off and my whole apartment smelled like shit for how long a couple minutes it wasn't that bad oh just a couple minutes it was a couple minutes oh because that's not that bad it's not a couple minutes it was it was also like a nostalgic smell like it didn't smell oh shit it smelled fun like you're like no but also like i remember that stink i mean i didn't enjoy it yeah no part of me smells that i mean we'll get into this because i know how you feel but like no part of me smells that smell and goes like what the hell this brings me back but i will tell you what i don't know how you guys feel about this me and frank love it horse shit is a i love horse shit horse shit is fantastic i couldn't agree i like grew up down the street from a farm my mom made me ride horses so horse strike me as a horse girl yeah you do don't even there's fan art of me and it is horrific i could see you in one of those helmets horrific i could see you in a helmet and the tall boots with the whip and just smiling like equestrian hey i'm down yeah no like me as a horse in my normal clothes okay yeah they love me as a horse they love me out there um horse shit is definitely like i i understand what you're saying because it's reminiscent of a lot of different brings you back you know yeah yeah i don't love it though but like here's like a thing that i don't i don't know how if anyone's on my team but you remember in jurassic park where this is like a big pile yes and then yes and i'm like all right part of me wants to put my hand in that shit yeah in a big pile we also grew up like a like we hung out and played like manhunt and like yes streets and alleyways with flashlights so like we we it smelled like shit well we did we did do that but like it also smelled like piss and shit and like where we played little league baseball was right next to the bay and like so like it like bad smells were just kind of a part of our childhood yep yep yep yep our lives were shit yeah we lived in shit we lived in squalor so like there's a like i'll like you know you pass the bay and you'll just be like ew you're like ew i like ew that stinks right yeah exactly insurance isn't one size fits all and shopping for it shouldn't feel like squeezing into something that just doesn't fit that's why drivers have enjoyed progressives name your price tool for years with the name your price tool you tell them what you want to pay and they show you options that fit your budget enough hunting for discounts trying to calculate your budget and calculate rates and tinkering with coverages maybe you're picking out your very first policy or maybe you're just looking for something that works better for you and your family either way they make it simple to see your options no guesswork no surprises ready to see how easy and fun shopping for car insurance can be visit progressive.com and give the name your price tool a try take the stress out of shopping and find coverage that fits your life on your terms progressive casualty insurance company and affiliates price and coverage match limited by state law one to settle stand down or stand still you're a lifelong learner energized by excellence there's a fire inside you you can't ignore you've got competition to outrun momentum to build on and your own high standards to meet stop now not a chance at capella university we help you catch what you're chasing because you've always had the drive now go earn the degree capella university what can't you do visit capella.edu to learn more you can find us at capella.edu or at capella.edu.com and you can also find us on our website at capella.edu.com and we'll see you next time on the next episode of the best car insurance podcast. you've never been one to settle stand down or stand still you're a lifelong learner energized by excellence there's a fire inside you you can't ignore you've got competition to outrun momentum to build on and you'll see how easy and fun shopping for car insurance can be visit progressive.com and give the name your price tool a try take the stress out of shopping and find coverage that fits your life on your terms progressive casualty insurance company and affiliates price and coverage match limited by state law you've never been one to settle stand down or stand still you're a lifelong learner energized by excellence there's a fire inside you you can't ignore you've got competition to outrun momentum to build on and you'll see how easy and fun shopping for car insurance can be visit progressive.com and give the name your price tool a try take the stress out of shopping and find coverage that fits your life on your terms progressive casualty insurance company and affiliates price and coverage match limited by state law you've never been one to settle stand down or stand still you're a lifelong learner energized by excellence there's a fire inside you you can't ignore you've got competition to outrun momentum to build on and your own high standards to meet stop now not a chance at capella university we help you catch what you're chasing because you've always had the drive now go earn the degree capella university what can't you do visit capella.edu to learn more you've never been one to settle stand down or stand still you've got competition to outrun momentum to build on and you'll see how easy and fun shopping for car insurance can be visit progressive.com and give the name your price tool a try take the stress out of shopping for car insurance can be visit capella.edu to learn more you've never been one to settle stand down or stand still you've got competition to outrun momentum to build on and your own high standards to meet the drive now go earn the degree capella.edu to learn more visit capella.edu to learn more visit capella.edu to learn more The bottom of the drawer was like particle board or something. It's like where you have to like slide it in and like lock it on the back. Do you have a guess what I'm about to say? Because you might be right. I don't think so. If you do have a guess. What's written on the board or is there something hidden in there? Oh, no, no, no. Oh, no, it's worse. It's worse. Oh, it's not that bad. Yeah, it's so much worse than that. Okay. I don't know that you would ever guess this. And if you did, that's a problem for you. Okay. So what we decided would be fun because you're young and idiots. Yeah. Is like I'm holding this thing up and I'm dropping it. I'm like, yo, this is kind of like a guillotine. And Frank's like, what if I put my balls in there? Oh, why would I guess this? Why would I guess this? I would have never guessed that. You're doing everything. This is why you're like, don't tell this story. I mean, I don't care. We've told enough stories on this podcast. Why would you guys want your balls in a guillotine? You guys, how many stories do you have that you put your balls in a guillotine is one that you want? What year were you born? 91. Okay. You were in prime, like, hanging with, 92. You were in prime, like, hanging out with your friends and balls were around age. Don't sit there and pretend like you weren't. Balls were around. It was like, yeah. It was just like a thing. And, like, it was always like, oh, like, prank, like, ha ha, look, it's a picture of his nuts or something like that. Okay. You know? We also grew up. You're in a different place. Like, I was in Arizona. It was too hot to get your balls out. We also grew up. Yes, I understand. We grew up in the time of, like, you know, Jackass was so. Oh, that's what I was just going to say. I get what you're saying there. No, my brother told me, he's like, oh, my friends and I play this game where we just try to see who can hurt themselves the most. Well, most of, so. It's just like, what? They might have an exercise ball. Jackass is all penis play. His mom in, like, 2004, 2005 got him a camera and we started making videos together. Okay. And we called them because we lived near the park by us. It was 48th Street. So we called them the 48th Street Files. And. Love it. Most of those videos. Most of those videos were just, like, Jackass stunts. Like, him kicking me. Or, like, someone punching me in the face or, like. We did one that was, like, our most famous one. Famous meaning we showed our friends and family and everyone liked it. Yeah. Family, too? We took. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. We made them sit through and we were like, what do you think? Yeah. So, what do you think of Frank's balls getting guillotined? We took my mom's garbage can and put it over Frank's head and then my brother ran and drop kicked him in the face with both feet. Yeah. Holy fuck. In my front yard. Yeah. That's awesome. Why did you need the garbage top on your head for that? So, I didn't get kicked directly in the face. I had this. And, by the way, you guessed it. A regular New York City garbage can. Not, like, cleaned or newly purchased. Sure, sure. A rat inside of me. Like, I actively remember being in there and seeing, like, white jelly. And I was like. Jelly isn't white. And then getting kicked. White jelly. This reminds me of. Didn't I bring up Steve-O in the porter potty when they flipped him around and he had to be filled with poop? Yeah. I was like. That was the one. That was the one. We never got into poop. No, we never did. But, like, that was, like, the inception of us making videos. And then, like, we would do, like, skits of us, like, you know, stuff like that. American Idol and shit. Yeah. So much of it was, like, the jackass era where, like, what was funny. I mean, you remember the TV show on MTV, Scarred? Yeah. Yes. I didn't watch. I could not watch Scarred. It was all that content where it was just, like, guys doing something, getting hurt, and everyone couldn't. It was a lot of, like, skateboarders. Oh, yeah. I don't like the skateboarder videos. I don't like the videos when they, like, break their fucking. Oh, biking is worse. When they, like, fall forward. I can't watch, like, sports injuries. I just can't. Neither, like, feet going the other way. No, I don't like that stuff. Yeah, that's bad. I can't like that stuff. Like, what they call the scorpion. When, like, they're, like, ankles. Like, the, like. Yuck. Heels. Yuck. I can't even watch any videos of, like, on Instagram if I see a video of someone, like, working out. Like, I'm too afraid that they're going to get hurt, and I can't. Me, too. Me, too. Like, a leg press injury. Yeah, no. Can't handle that. Yeah, for sure. Disgusting. Okay, so, guillotine balls. Let's get back to that. Yeah. That's it. That's it. That is all of the information. Whoa, whoa, whoa. I don't have all the information. You just posed it. You didn't actually go through with it. No, no, no. We did it. We did, but it was filmed on a flip phone at the time. It didn't get shown to, like, parents. So, it's really, really blurry. It was, like, you could look at it, and you'd be, like, what? I think those are balls. Exactly, yeah. Yeah. That was kind of it. Wow. It was on a Motorola Razr, probably. Yeah. I think I had, like, a red Nokia. That was my sister's. So, I was, like, on its left. But it was, like, you know, you're young, you're dumb, you're stupid. My grandma's about to die. Let's have some fun here. Yeah, let's have some fun with her dresser. That was probably, like, she was pumped at the idea that there was, like, balls in her apartment. And who knows when the last time they had been there. Yeah. Well, we would have to speculate about that. Yeah, we'd go into that. We'd do that. Make an educated guess on that. Yeah, let's think about that. Did you guys ever think, like, oh, it'd be so great one day to do Jackass? I did. It was, like, a dream of a lot of people. It's not mine. I mean, I loved Jackass. The dynamic that we had, it really was similar, where we had a big group of friends, and it was, like, half wanted to kind of just, like, be behind the scenes and, like, just, like, it would be funny if you did this. And the other half, like, all right, we'll do it. All right, fuck me up. I'm the director. I tell you how to hurt yourself. And that was the dynamic that we had, where, like, he would be, like, I had this idea. And I would just be, like, yeah, let's, like, I don't care. We did one where we, like, there was, like, a busy intersection by his house, and I was on crutches because I had hurt my knee during football, and they ran over at a, like, backed up intersection, kicked, him and my friends kicked the crutches out from under me and beat me up. And, like, people are getting out their car. Oh, okay. So, like, that's, like, in public scenario. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. I don't know how people do that. I get so cringed out. Like. I don't know if I could do that. By the way, we didn't film any of that. We're just doing it. We fully just did that. Well, it was for the prank. We would, once we figured out the intersection thing, we're, like, this is a whole new level of fun. My brother was also, like, he would jump into a bush off of a building if he wanted to. Like. Sure. He was just, like, nuts like that. And I remember when it would snow, a car would pull up to the intersection and be at a red light, and my brother Keith would just run and just slide across their hood. Yeah. Because there would be, like, the people that, like, didn't fully clean off the hood of their car yet, so there's still, like, compacted snow and just slide across it. That's actually brilliant. That's so funny. You gotta figure out. You didn't grow up with snow, so you don't get it, dude. I mean, okay, I've experienced snow, though. When was the first time you saw snow in your life? Well, I lived in Virginia when I was from four to six, or two to six years old. So, snow was, like, some of my first memories, actually. Oh, okay, cool. So, I know it. I know snow. I know snow. I know snow. He knows snow. And then my grandparents and all my family live in Virginia. They live in Colorado, so I'd go there for Christmas every year. Oh, so there's snow. Oh, that's a good amount of snow. Hell yeah. Snow everywhere. That's a solid amount. That's snow better than us, probably. That Rocky Mountain snow. Did you guys, like, when you were kids, you know, have to go skiing and all that, was that, like, part of your life? Uh, no. Why was that part of my life, man? I don't know. Did your parents have a good job? Shut the fuck up. And they loved each other for a while. No, it's because my uncle worked at Ragged Mountain. Ragged Mountain? I don't even know what that is. That sounds fake. What? It's New Hampshire. Ragged Mountain. After Ragged Mountain. That's literally what it is. It's safe. I promise. It comes down. It's, like, half broken off. It's dangling. That's literally what it is, though. Really? It's Ragged. It's fucking Ragged. Ragged Mountain. We'd lose one person per year. I don't know what it was. It was, like, I turned a certain age, and it was, like, okay, now's your time. You have to ski. And, like, going on a chairlift with all your sisters is, like, a life or death situation. Yeah. Because you're all on the chairlift, and you're, like, having fun. But if someone says the wrong thing, you're not having fun. And so, like, you're about to go off, and there's, like, a little bump. And you're all trying to go off at the same time. So you're, like, your fucking skis are pizzaing. And one time, my little sister was, like, I don't even want to do it. And she stayed on the chairlift and went all the way around. Just stuck. And they were, like, we have to bring her back. Like, skiing was just. Yeah, I went skiing once, and I was, like, seven. Yeah. Or maybe I was a little older than that, actually. I thought everybody. No. I've done skiing. I've done snowboarding. But when I was, like, younger. So I've done it. I've done it, like, as an adult. But, like, growing up, I had only done that one time. You know that. You know, I don't know. Maybe that's just my parents. But I felt like, as a kid, I had to, like, they made me do everything. Yeah, our parents didn't really do anything. Yeah, my parents were. My parents were paying attention. Literally, me and him would be walking to school in third or fourth grade. Fourth grade. Yeah. Well, no. No, that's not true. Which is kind of crazy. Oh, it's far away. Which is crazy because, like, now being a parent. Being a parent, I'm like. No, it is. No fucking way. Yeah, that's insane. Like, they're not leaving my sight. Yeah, I'm going to hold their hand. Like, they're in the backyard. I'm going to be right there with them. Yeah, of course. But our parents would be, like, in the summer, I remember I would leave the house at, like, 8 in the morning. I would go to the park. And then I had to be home at 6 for dinner. And then I had to be home at, like, 11. And I, like. You would just, like, check in at home and eat. Yeah, and if I didn't check in, they'd be so pissed. And it got a little easier once, like, cell phones started becoming a thing. Because, like, then we could just be, like, oh, we're at the park. We'll, you know, talk to you later. But we were like pigeons. It was just, like, they leave and then they'll eventually come back. That was pretty much the same. That was the same. I mean, especially when it was, like, manhunt nights. We would be in a random neighborhood. And we would be out in the dark. And there was always, like, one house that was kind of, not abandoned, but, you know. Yeah. Slightly. And that's where you'd hide. Slightly abandoned. Slightly. Someone checked in every now and then. Someone's in there. They're like, who the fuck are you? We didn't like it. In Arizona. In Arizona, yeah, up until I was, like, 13 or 14, I didn't have a phone. So, like, you would walk out. But, like, I would leave for the day. And it's, like, 115 degrees outside. So, not only is it, like, oh, am I going to die? It's, like, will I get heat stroke? It's just, like, I don't know. Figure it out, man. Yeah, we used to play manhunt also, like, around a church. Of course. And, like, the priest was, like, not happy. I don't know he would come out all the time and he'd be in the priest thing I'm like you at 11 for real does he sleep there a rectory or something well well it's got it don't don't I'm not I'm not even gonna it's about I was gonna say I don't know what it's called but it's called something like it's a color rec no don't say that either right but I think they look up on top they explored but they have the bell up there no it was like well we know why he didn't like it because we were like climbing so like yeah onto the building sure like you're like here's the God who's trying to like you know pray or whatever come up with a sermon yeah exactly and then we're out there screaming like I fucking got you dude I got you ollie ollie oxen show me your balls children we can't play here also who's showing their balls you said earlier balls you grew up in the church like I right my church was called the Immaculate Conception there was one of those in one of those by us yeah i thought it turns out it's a chain wait what the fuck i thought it was just our special church it's the gel taco of churches i know we got two yeah yeah there's a bunch of those what turns out it's a chain i thought that was my special church it's like mcdonald's of church yeah you bought the franchise it's just whatever the franchise they put out a video and they're like we have now expanded to 14 states we had most precious blood was one of them holy shit crazy one that's a crazy one because what what did that's a vampire what did they think was the most precious blood you know what i mean someone in history was saying stuff like that too yeah was that catholic yes yeah that's crazy ours was just like holy cross and then i guess apparently we had saint francis saint catherine's but saint catherine's and saint irene's were greek churches they were greek orthodox churches saint francis was the one that we were like most like we were near yeah did you guys do like a sunday school or like i did that me too did you learn anything oh god yeah i will also the grades i would get graded me too insane my parents grades were like yes or no yeah you get a report card like a y or an n like literally something like no not going to heaven my ccd teacher actually lived in the building of a girl that we knew growing up and we were at her house and i guess she heard me curse and she had this vendetta against me it's a wrap and when i went to sunday school uh she gave this whole speech about how like oh some people in here like some shit like that and i was like this bitch is crazy yes what curse word did you say fuck that's the good ones the good ones yeah yeah but she was like not happy at all and i was like dude just give me my why it was i remember as a kid when i was like going to church and stuff and like curse words and everything and i was like these words didn't exist 2 000 years ago why why is this bad yeah why is this because they were so every ccd teacher was like why is this bad because they were so every ccd teacher had literally had it out for everybody i remember a girl in our class got her period and the ccd teacher was like you are an abomination like whoa she did not want to talk about it she made her go home early there was like no discussion about it well our generation we were taught by the biggest fucking prudes on the planet that like literally like literally like in the 50s they would be like like their idea of being raunchy was like i have a poodle on my skirt and it's like you know have sex in a car you know do something fun yeah i have a poodle on my skirt well they would do that like people have sex in cars yeah lovers lane yeah and they get killed yeah was that like a real play i always thought it was like jokes from like movies and stuff where they'd be like we're gonna go make out at like you know titty point or something there's never a titty point okay we we had one you wish frank you guys had a titty point yeah we had the dumps turns out it's a franchise you know we had the quarry quarry that sounds more dangerous from lord of the rings quarry we made out amongst the ants in the quarry it wasn't that cool we had like a lot of a lot of kids from my town would dirt bike do you want to go down to morrigan's bog yeah make out and then go up to ragged mountain see if we can climb ragged mountain she has been courted by felonious the quarry was just like piles of dirt that people would dirt bike on you're telling me you you were the one telling me that you had like fairies in your neighborhood growing up you're like oh yes oh fairy houses yeah what does that even mean oh yeah oh yeah no no no no massachusetts is a crazy what's it what's a fairy i'm shocked a place like massachusetts had a place called a fairy house and they didn't burn it down okay no they they're well they're secret they're like little fairy houses everywhere it's where the secret hippies want to you know do the little fairy houses you had fairies the church didn't know about the fairy houses by the way we had fairies too my dad usually my dad called me and him yeah of course of course yeah yeah yeah fairies get in the car and start putting your dicks in the dress exactly thank you balls out of your grandmother's drawers and get here all right we're moving you guys done making out we're gonna go flip a dock you guys got to have all this exciting shit that is so real the court but yeah you guys you had the quarry you probably had arizona all we had was like a gun slide yeah like what the fuck that's kind of fire what is a gun slide i mean it's pretty self-explanatory yeah no it's not a slide that is shaped like a gun oh is that what it is please tell me that's not what it is a what a gun slide i'm gonna gun slide these nuts in your mouth amanda you almost messed it up i did we talked about this right before the episode he's like this is what i'm gonna do and i went hell yeah we talked about he said dude you have a gun side and then he was acting all weird and i was like why is he acting so fucking weird son of a bitch go hit him with a got him got him son of a bitch a cross-country got him is so cross-country got him and i it it was we didn't it was tossed around it was tossed around you had moments i feel i feel like betrayed nowhere on the call sheet did i see be prepared i would have come prepared you guys warn each other no okay definitely we should definitely hit a hand with that when we get home uh he's quick and quick with it so he might know i got it i don't we'll figure it out i have one i have one locked and loaded i've got it done i've got one locked and loaded we uh i literally walked up to selena like last week and i was like we gotta get him like i was like we don't need to prepare anything for this we just gotta get and you got him and you got us and but do you see what i mean about like balls being part of like male culture jokes and stuff yeah you just showed us your balls of the joke you're right you're right i did i did your gun he's getting so embarrassed right now is he crazy does he know does he because joey's like this does he let's does you guys whisper does shane hate like people like fawning over him like compliments like yeah joey he doesn't love it although although no he's gotten a little bit better like with me i can be like like yesterday i was like i like your shirt he's like thanks so much oh they're that bad like that that yeah oh okay frank thinks that i don't like compliments because he compliments me like a t-ball coach he's like hey man you should really be proud of yourself i'm like that feels a little that feels a little yeah it's like a compliment oh you're on this couch i think when it's not thrown out casually when it's like said really earnestly with like hey and like tussling my hair and shit hey yeah hey buddy i like get on the knee i would say that's my dynamic that's my dynamic with our friend damien uh damien's been like one of my best friends for a long time and he'll give like really like he'll make a moment a full moment and it's it's like like okay like very sweet it's incredibly sweet he's like i heard that you really liked you know predator so i i went to japan and i got you this special predator t-shirt he gave it to me and i was like oh my god fucking that's awesome yeah and he was like yeah thank you yes and i was like yes this is awesome yeah yeah but like i took it in and then i felt like oh i should get him something but i don't think that's why he does it yeah well no i i just i'm i think i am very much so like you know i've been put in a position now where i can like do what i've always wanted to do and like provide for my family it's because of him and i'm always like feeling the need to just be like dude you've made my dreams come true you know what i mean like thank you so much and then he'll like respond say that let's get this out of the way i absolutely have said that to you before this is sweet the way the what he's describing though is like we'll do a show like we when we did msg you know when we did msg like afterwards he'll he'll be like insurance isn't one size fits all and shopping for it shouldn't feel like squeezing into something that just doesn't fit that's why drivers have enjoyed progressives name your price tool for years with the name your price tool you tell them what you want to pay and they show you options that fit your budget enough hunting for discounts trying to calculate rates and tinkering with coverages maybe you're picking out your very first policy or maybe you're just looking for something that works better for you and your family either way they make it simple to see your options no guesswork no surprises ready to see how easy and fun shopping for car insurance can be visit progressive.com and give the name your price tool a try take the stress out of shopping and find coverage that fits your life on your terms progressive casualty insurance company and affiliates price and coverage match limited by state law you've never been one to settle stand down or stand still you're a lifelong learner energized by excellence there's a fire inside you you can't ignore you've got competition to outrun momentum to build on and your own high standards to meet stop now not a chance at capella university we help you catch what you're chasing because you've always had the drive now go earn the degree capella university what can't you do visit capella.edu to learn more like you should be proud and it's like bro we did that yeah but like also like so i'm like not that i that i think about it from the perspective that i had where like you were making videos and content very early on and like 2015 and then you came on no no no he was making videos like 2010 whoa 2010 but you started the podcast in when 2015 2015 and then you came on in 2020 yeah yeah but like so i look at the time that he had like doing it by himself and i'm just like you should reflect on that which i know you do but like i want to tell you to do it he's a father yeah i know he's a father but this is i'm your father but that's that's what it what it comes and i'm like okay is it because it's like this is too much pressure like i think he i don't know sometimes it's like it's maybe it's just not um like i'm not ready for that yet is it a little it's a little existential yeah when it's positive it's a little existential it's like you think about your whole life yeah because i think i take a little longer to do that because like i spent even something like that you get off stage and immediately i'm like all right i got to figure out what that was well you have to process like okay you have to process like pretty much everything you said you're like okay so i said that thing to that that worked that didn't work wait why didn't that work that was weird okay did we choose the wrong person i don't know that's what i do it was more of like for that show specifically like there was a lot leading up to it obviously and a lot of things had to go right and then we had a good show and then it was like afterwards and there's just a lot to go through before you can be like okay i know yeah how i feel about it now kind of yeah it's we're almost a year away from it and i'm still processing like the shows from the year before still yeah you know what i mean because it's such a weird thing but like i get that and i also like so when you come off stage you kind of you like automatically want to kind of like connect and be like hey no i mean not necessarily like we do like it it's very quiet after a show backstage like we kind of just sit down and decompress you know there's like the adrenaline dump but like big shows that we've done whether whatever they were i'll be like dude like i hope you take a minute to realize like you did something crazy and they're like well we'll talk like that but like it it takes it's not like every single show if it was i would punch myself in the face one day joe is gonna wake up and just be like and he's just gonna sob because everything you said oh it's just gonna hit him all oh i cry all the time like this was the uh was it the day after i think it was the day after and it's like a weird way but because like i saw my mom afterwards and you know whatever all our friends and family party afterwards but then i was in my bed the next morning and i saw like a tiktok that someone posted of like the view of it and it was like confetti at the end of it and then i was just like i lost it oh i was like whoa because yeah we always we we've talked about this a lot but being on the stage is so different than sitting in the crowd yeah like when i see photos of of definitely that show but like any of the shows we've done i'm like holy shit like that looks yeah yes it's it feels different maybe because you're you're kind of behind the curtain and you know like oh it's just a bunch of wires and shit behind here but then it looks like a show so it just it feels like it's hard to feel the magnitude until you see the photos yes it's true and if i saw the photo of like msg filled with people beforehand i'd be like oh fuck yeah it freaked me out yeah absolutely no when we did uh the closest we have is we did the chicago theater uh last year for reddit stories and it was like oh it's 3500 people it's like holy shit but when you're on stage the lighting you can't really tell no so you're just like i know there's a lot of people out there but it's i can't really gauge it and then it wasn't until we were leaving and we were getting into our car and there was just like a crowd like the people the crowd was leaving and you're just like oh my god yeah all of those people were in there yeah yeah it's nuts our photographer is awesome zach shout him out uh and he takes pictures at the venues where he goes to like the top back of it and he's like and takes like a shot from over there i love that so like i'll see that and i'll just be like fuck you know like it's it's it's like you see that and it kind of puts it in perspective but also the marquees are cool you're like yes yeah well the chicago theater freaked us out in particular i know it definitely freaked me out the first time we did it we were backstage in the green room and we're hanging out and like they have like everyone wrote on the walls and backstage did you guys sign the wall uh yeah i wasn't at the chicago when i was giving but yeah or later don't you hate when that more impressive crazy it's crazy more impressive it is and that honestly shame on you for not shame on you for not giving birth no you're right unbelievable i'm really sorry i signed the wall i'm really sorry about that blood yeah in placenta blood no but like the you sign the wall and stuff like that and then like we're like all right we're gonna have a good show we're still like the first round of stuff we're still like getting our like rhythm down yeah and then we sign the wall and stuff like that and then like we're like seeing like next to the door it says like have a swell time i sure did and it frank sinatra and i was just like holy shit frank sinatra performed here and i'm about to go talk about my balls guillotine balls yeah but like it like for me i see that and i'm just like who the fuck am i you know like you know what i mean like a moment like that where like that person's and then you look around and you see other names and you're just like well no i definitely have the same thought whenever we do our show because i come out and i'm like whoa hey what's up chicago and i feel stupid now i feel the same way like after we did the denver show i was like oh like we just read reddit it wasn't enough like i i love to perform i was like we need to like do a full performance and then i realized when fans talk to me about it they're like you're someone that is like comforting to me like i go to you to feel connected to specific viewing experience and so i'm like oh to get that in such a big magnitude with all those people kind of feel the same way yeah it's pretty fucking cool it's pretty really cool i just like i always want to feel like i am like whenever we do reddit like i i always i just want to like offer them something really amazing like i i'm just like i want to perform for them so it's weird for me to like not have any like wigs or anything i'm just sitting here like this is just me yeah yeah oh yeah i love to wear what's the song and dance yeah no seriously that hey we do it sometimes we did a whole episode where we just played we made up ants oh yeah shane and i were um not ants like on the floor yeah yeah he says ants okay we say ants too but yeah yeah because i'm basically is that the episode when you did the bob was that yeah yeah i did an east coast on and he did a key west on yep and we blacked out we don't remember yeah were you drinking no we just blacked out completely and we i don't know what happened we filmed for 80 minutes and we did not break character i mean that happens we did an episode where we put on wigs and we were like long island medium moms oh and it was long island medium we were like oh my god the video games they're making the kids gay yeah yeah yeah it was the same thing but like so true completely lost this long island medium isn't it like how do you say well you're on long island you have your daughter they do long guyland long guy long guyland guyland yeah long guyland long guyland yeah and everything it's kind of like the like the character of if you guys watch sopranos yes of course you know how like you know she walks around like carmella walks around like this like that's the long island mom that's the long island it's like a t-rex mom yeah that's the long island mom yeah that's the t-rex yeah just like over here everything's a concern water everything's a concern the water water well it's it's making i heard it's making the frogs gay it's making the kids gay and you're gay and everyone's gay now they want us to be gay now so then do you watch the youtube did you watch that youtube series back in the day it was like my son moved to new york and now he's gay oh was that the take a picture next to the tree mother's day yeah yeah i'm not kidding the the mother's day one and the christmas one we sent it in like my family group chat like this is my mom yeah like this the scene around a telephone cord like oh my god did you hear that yeah yeah my mom doesn't have like an accent like there's certain words but like the scene where in that video specifically it always stands in my mind i'm like literally i've seen my mom do this a thousand times but it's like mother's day and it's like she goes to pick something up and she goes what am i doing this the dishes i'm not doing the dishes it's mother's day like forget this it's mother's day my mom was the on christmas where it's like something gets opened and it's just how it's not enough but like we hope you like it so it's just like yeah i thought you would like an xbox and if you don't like whatever i mean it's i tried you know and i really tried my heart i tried my hardest to get you the nintendo wii and it's like you did good you did good those fucking videos but you know they're sold out everywhere so i didn't know like i was literally like that is it's not really my mom but like it is like my aunts and everything and like just the whole thing of like her dropping her off at the mall it's like i'm gonna drop you for the mall what are you doing hanging out with your friend no you're hanging out with me fine go hang out with your friend if you want it's just like a precious moment it's like it's so weird to hear about this because my family is so like non-confrontational like because like shane i come from completely different no like no like hearing that like my family is so just like okay yeah whatever like okay great like okay like that's the vibe yeah so whenever i hear like east coast people and it's just like bam well we we came from like families that were strong-minded and like my mom like - Like struggled with like, yeah. - I like that. - Yeah, yeah, we'll go with that. podcast strong-minded strong-minded they like some of my uncles are extremely strong-minded she like um would like do the thing where it would be like you know like i love you motherfucker i love you so much you fucking idiot i love you i don't think i've ever heard my mom say the word fuck oh i don't think i've ever heard it his mom has cursed me out yeah like and she and she like but like in like a loving way this woman would cry every single new year's like one of her children got shot in the face 10 times i'm not kidding every year why like we would because the year's ending yeah just because of course but every year he would have a new year's eve party and i would go there and uh we would celebrate new year's there and then it would be three two one we would you know pop champagne and whatever and then it would like spill out into the front yard of course and she would be on the stoop just inconsolable yeah and i'm like i'd be like oh you know happy new year uh nancy and she'd just grab me she'd be like and then but it would be that and then it would immediately it would be a hug and then it'd be like you're getting older and like hitting me or something how dare you how fucking dare you yeah exactly just like say things she'd be like you look after him and i'm like yeah like we're two idiots i can't i'm 15 i put a trash can on his head and someone kicked him i can't look after him do you know what you probably did not see the video of his balls in the guillotine yeah she probably thought she knows about that one now yeah she probably thought of like the worst thing that could it all flashed before her eyes on the stoop the worst thing that could happen i have i have come to since you know now now that i'm married and and i have kids my wife tells me she's just like it's all like every moment is just like how bad it can be i know because like of like mom guilt and stuff like that it's like intrusive thoughts i i like totally experienced when i had my son it was just like we're all like hanging out it's a great like my husband was playing with our son on the floor and it was so cute and i had this big bowl you know how you mix your salad in the mixer hell yeah so i took out the whole mixture and i just kept the salad gotcha okay it's like a big bowl and like our wedding song came up or something and i'm watching them play and i am sobbing what's the wedding song um we're gonna make fun of it if it's not van morrison into the mystic don't don't can't think of that song off the top of my head it's all right oh you went on i'll do something so no but like that that that's like a real thing i just thought of it all the whole like i was like i could lose it all because you're picturing in the future when like i could lose it all you have the vision from terminator 2 oh my god a bomb can hit right now no nuclear war so i'm gonna be your mom on new year's eve yeah you definitely will yeah i do that but like it could be just videos of strangers oh yeah yeah no me too i like crying like i'll try same like i'll find something and it'll get me a little bit like let me pull on the string and i'll just be sobbing about something i used to be afraid of turning into my parents but then it's like i'm giving that to my kids so they can make fun of me it's like a gift to them you know oh how nice of you i will give them this is how selfless i am strong-minded parent for you yeah yeah yeah no but our parents are like a big part of like just kind of the personality and the dynamic we had because we it's so like they're just characters of course and like you don't know like if other people have like my dad i've told this story before but like when i was younger i like asked my dad to buy me condoms oh brave man and my dad i gotta set the scene whoa my dad is like a five foot eight colombian electrician so like i don't think my parents know that i've ever had sex that's i've been married i'm married i don't think they know my parents don't we don't my family doesn't talk about i mean we don't either my family definitely talks about sex except for my dad we don't we don't i mean you said you have several sisters right yeah so different dynamics my siblings we don't talk about it oh yeah yeah we get into all of it okay well see now that seems that's your poor father well no it was like it was just like that moment where he's just like this is my time to be a dad and like just seeing how old were you can i ask that's an appropriate question no i want to hear it never ask a lady her age yeah how dare you 16 i was probably around 16 or something like that but like me 16 like i'd buy them if i need them but you're saying good for you like they didn't sit in my drawer for eight years but it's good that you you don't want it to be protected no but like you're smart 16 year old he took it and he was just like okay shane it's okay shane it's okay yeah no that's same i would have definitely i dreamed of saying that to my dad though i would have never my dad never brought up sex well one time my dad all he said was and i had no idea what the fuck he meant and until i like really put it together afterwards but i think i was like i think a girl was meeting me at the house and then we were like going out somewhere and i forgot how old i was but he just like pulled me to the side and he just goes listen you could be green you could be blue you could be yellow and i was like what the fuck is that but he was talking about condoms what oh i thought he was going with like such yeah you could be you could be any guy you want he's like you could be green you could be blue you could be yellow what's blue and i was like what the fuck are you talking about yeah what's yellow yeah like imagine my dad said that to me he was like listen you got you got the blue ones you got this one you get ribbed you could get ripped you get the ones that turn your dick into an icy hot yeah you can get corkscrew let me tell you nobody likes that yeah nobody likes the ice how could that possibly be anything nobody likes it yeah it's insane trying to come up with so you didn't know what he was saying did you ask i believe i did i was just like what the fuck are you saying and he's like you know just get you know if you need money for condoms and i was like that's what oh so your dad came your dad offered to you and then out of nowhere and there was there was never like a birds and the bees like hey you got to be careful do you think frank's dad talked to him and he was like oh absolutely not there's no fucking way no if him and my dad were ever talking to each other it was about like nails and drills oh yeah are your parents like friends at all or do they they were they were like like like we were younger because our sisters also went to school together they were friends when they were younger yeah our moms have the same fucking birthday yeah whoa isn't that crazy yeah kismet kismet that's incredible yeah really weird but then like i think as just like being parents and then like my parents getting like the whole separation they were just like we don't have time for other people right no we don't have time we barely have time for each other that's the problem both of our dads my dad was a fireman and also like worked construction and his dad was an electrician so they like oh they were talking about yeah yeah yeah yeah like yeah well you got to see the fucking pipes in this fucking place it's just like joe i need joe i can't and then his your mom was involved in our schooling and then my mom was super involved in our school so they like you know kind of talked about that yeah it was like that connection get in there until after we graduated fifth grade yeah but she was involved when your sister and my sister were in middle school together oh yeah yeah so you guys have been friends for a long time since pre-k four years old holy shit yeah wow now did you like have your separating moments like in high school were you always like we went to we only well i mean like schooling wise we only went to school together from first grade until fifth grade and then he went to a different middle school i went to a different that's what happened to my town different high school middle schools well no he went you went to like a what even was that school i don't even know my mom thought that it would be better than our zone school which you have to go to that and yeah and uh so she was like she she worked in a school so she was trying to like pull strings oh i got it and like got me into a different school it wasn't like a specialized school or anything it was just a different school uh that was further away which was super fucking annoying so you guys like split up during your middle school but no we were still like friends in the neighborhood we lived three blocks from each other so it would be like i imagine your life like hey arnold that's it was like it was really really what it was and after school we would be like all right everyone's just going to the park so we'll meet at the park or like that's awesome yeah you didn't need a phone because it's like everyone's gonna be there yeah that's so cool yeah yeah and then um and then i mean even past that like me i went to college he's you know kind of stayed in our neighborhood and stuff like that and then oh you stayed in the neighborhood you know i dropped that hey that's okay i mean he's doing all right for himself i think you're fine yeah i think it's okay so then after then after that did you guys like come together before like when he was doing the pod with other people yeah he other fucks you weren't his first shouldn't you be fucking angry you i went to college and like my parents beat it in my head like you know they did the whole like chase your dreams but like that's kind of stupid you know like get a job get a degree get a job like uh like that's what success is so i went to school and then after i went to undergrad and grad school and then stayed up there for work and like i was working up there living up there he was doing his thing and then i was like oh my god i'm gonna go to college i'm gonna go to college i'm gonna go to like the videos and the podcast and then i got fired he actually came and picked me up and like helped me pack my stuff for my apartment well you know how to move people you were forced to do it as a kid yeah i mean i was no balls were involved in this one though yeah thank god but then like i came back to new york but my wife and i were dating at the time and she was living in jersey and i was like all right i'm gonna come to jersey so now like we have like different branches of our life yeah like the show has kind of brought us back together and i was like oh my god i'm gonna come back together in a sense i think it's probably better that you guys separated and had your own lives so that you can get together yeah i mean we've said we've said it all the time but like our relationship even growing up was kind of like that too like i have uh like friends that i see more often yeah and i see frank but like that was the case like all through high school because we had he had his own friends in in high school i had mine but we also like mostly hung out with the neighborhood kids yeah so even in high school i went four years through high school i hung out with my high school friends maybe like three times whoa like that was it you just mostly hung out with them at school yeah outside of school you never saw them yeah and i they sucked i'm not saying that i like i think they're nice people no they're nice people nice people they're nice people but they were like they lived in like the like weller like better off part of queen i had no way of getting kind of like amanda with boston they'd be like oh we're having a house party my parents bought us a keg and we're like we found a 40 like i wish yeah yeah we dug up some old beers we have splitting a cigarette you don't say a word we're spinning around really fast you kind of feel woozy did you guys ever do edward 40 hands did we we actually are currently scheduling to do it for yeah we are holy so you know you have to have them both and you can't pee yeah what do you think i've never heard of born yesterday listen i'll piss my pants if i'm playing i don't care i thought you peed a lot were you not an edward 40 hands i've never edward 40 hands oh it's fun dude i personally have never done it but i've been at a thousand times like people have done it a thousand times i don't think at 34 years old i should be doing it for the first time yes you can they're doing it i mean you have cameras here you could do them in front of a camera and then it makes it less sad not really our typical content but sure you know really uh really still well yeah i'm like 33 years old and i'm like listen honey i gotta go to work for the day yeah yeah you know and i'm there taping 40s of coors light to my hands and i gotta go home and put three kids to sleep you know is coors light allowed i thought it wasn't a specific type of beer english oh oh he's not even that's that's malt nobody has i thought it was a malt i thought i was told it was like a malt liquor but i mean it could be whatever's in a 40 i don't think the parameters are really that yeah well look at you setting the rules you've never done it my brother my brother did it and he told me about it and he was like yeah he's like the technique is actually to do a little bit of both at the same like he's like you don't want people drink all of one and then you have a whole other one he's like obviously it's the same amount of liquid no matter what i would like to drink all of one and then you have a whole other one he's like obviously it's not to be a good idea go back and forth your brother sounds like he is giving it too much thought your brother has done it more than once you gotta tip it you guys growing up didn't do like you know like fun crazy drinking games oh yeah i really did beer pong i did flip cup i loved playing beer pong i was on the beer pong table all night long i was like insurance isn't one size fits all and shopping for it shouldn't feel like squeezing into something that just doesn't feel like it's worth it i think it's worth it i think it's worth it i think it's worth it i think it's worth it i think it's worth it i think it's worth it i think it's worth it i think it's worth it i think it's worth it i think it's worth it i think it's worth it i think it's worth it i think it's worth it i think it's worth it i think it's worth it i think it's worth it i think it's worth it you tell them what you want to pay and they show you options that fit your budget enough hunting for discounts trying to calculate rates and tinkering with coverages maybe you're picking out your very first policy or maybe you're just looking for something that works better for you and your family either way they make it simple to see your options no guesswork no surprises ready to see how easy and fun shopping for car insurance can be visit progressive.com and give the name your price tool a try take the stress out of shopping and find coverage that fits your life on your terms progressive casualty insurance company and affiliates price and coverage match limited by state law you've never been one to settle stand down or stand still you're a lifelong learner energized by excellence there's a fire inside you you can't ignore you've got competition to outrun momentum to build on and your own high standards to meet stop now not a chance at capella university we help you catch what you're chasing because you've always had the drive now go earn the degree capella university what can't you do visit capella.edu to learn more became like a child actor at like 14 15 so so like they were giving you the beer in the green room yeah yeah so just straight to cocaine um straight to the hard never played beer pong but i did rip rails i would just I was actually around people doing crazy shit, but I myself was kind of nervous too. Because I was like, oh shit, if I get caught doing something, my mom's going to make me move back to Arizona and I have to give up on my. There's a thing about Shane is that people don't offer him things. Also, people didn't ever offer. I actually got, throughout most of my teen years and 20s, whenever I was at a party and I'd leave and one of my friends would be like, oh yeah, I did cocaine. I was like, I don't want to do cocaine, but I was like. He never even got offered. No one asked me to do cocaine. Nobody asked. Nobody thought to ask me. No one offers Shane anything. I would have said no, but you could have asked. I could see you having like a I'm going to tell on you face at that point. I would never tell. First of all. Because my friends would tell me that they did drugs and I'd be like, that's cool. You're the tell, not tell. I'm not the tattletale. First of all, you've ripped up people's cigarettes before I've watched you. I have because I'm saving them. See? Good for you. Because I'm saving their lives. Honestly, good for you. I remember ripping out one of my mom's packs and I thought I was going to die that day. It might have been, it's like $200 basically. I literally was like, oh, I'm on my deathbed. So my family has a cabin on a lake in Connecticut. And all the parents up there, there was like 20 houses up there. All of them smoked like freaking chimneys. No. And I'm like insane. Like they were buying cartons. Marlboro was sending my father like merch. Merch. Yeah, seriously. And my brother and our buddy once took all of their cigarettes and hid them. Like thousands of dollars. Hid them and then like themselves went. And like hid. So like. Did they have like the big boxes? Yes. Was this done out of like benevolence? Like was this done with. I mean, we were little pieces of shit. Or you were just fully pranked. I mean, no, no, no, no, no. It wasn't me. Truly, fully was not me. But like they did it because we always had the approach of just like don't smoke cigarettes. Like these are our parents. We want them to be around. And it was like the parents were like double mad because it's a lake. They can't find two of the kids and they're freaking out because they're like, oh my God. And then they're like. Where are my cigarettes? Where are my $5,000 of Marlboro Lights? I'm so stressed about my child being missing. But we're also on a lake. I need a cigarette. I need a cigarette. But like I can't find those either. That's a bad combo. We were like prime children of the D.A.R.E. program. Yeah, we never did drugs or anything. Every time I bring up D.A.R.E. program, everyone's like, what is that? What? I went to D.A.R.E. camp. That was. That's intense. That is so nuts. You're such a nerd. Yeah. Guys, shut up. I didn't. I didn't choose it. My sisters were like, you know. The church. D.A.R.E. camp. Did you do anything fun? Oh, I fucked it up. Oh, I didn't. I didn't know where that was at. Oh, I fucked. Oh, I fucked. Oh, I fucked a D.A.R.E. officer. Every time. No, I can't. No, I'm just kidding. I'm just kidding. I fucked the sheriff of the town. The sheriff and I. The sheriff, the baker, the mailman. The candlestick maker. The cobbler and I. We got fucking damn. We went up to Ragged Mountain and we just ragged each other. We just ragged. My sisters are going to watch this and be like. It wasn't ragged before I got there. Professor Plum and I fucked on ragged. Okay. Yeah, we never like grew up doing any sort of drugs or anything, though. Okay, that's cool. Yeah. We, you know, for sure. We want to establish. Oh, he's crying again. Like, we're all establishing. He cries a lot on the pod. It's okay. His eyes get wet. I've been crying laughing all day. Yeah, he has. You're welcome. But yeah, I. You're welcome. What are you doing? Our teachers growing up, we would do like when we had the dare program, which was basically you go into the basement and legitimately the school and then they would be like, yeah, drugs. Nah. And we're like, okay. Eight ways. And then they would give you a ribbon, like a red ribbon to wear. And it was like symbolic of like no drugs. And then we would do like a march. But you would just walk around the block of the school. And on the walk, sometimes the teachers would smoke cigarettes. Stop. Swear to God. It was like these Greek women. And they're like, yeah, don't do fucking drugs. This kid is disgusting. Yeah. That is so fucking funny. Yeah, it was great. Did they also have the briefcase full of drugs? Oh, that's a good question. Did they bring, they brought drugs? They brought a briefcase to be like, these are all the drugs that are bad. This won't make you do this, this. And people were like, nice. They were like, how much for that? Yeah, yeah. No, literally. Are you selling those? No, I don't remember that. But we were like in fourth grade. It increased. You were so young. It was bad. Like it, it helped drugs in the war on drugs. I think, no, I think it was like. I think statistically, D.A.R.E. increased drug use. That's crazy. Well, it's like the same thing where like, you know, sex ed made like a pivot into like, you know, like you're going to have sex and die. And it's like, or teach safe sex. Not that like safe drug use is the way, but like. Right, right, right. The like complete don't do it. Abstinence causes, yeah, abstinence is like. It causes anal, right. What? That's what he was going to say. That's not what I was going to say. He was going for it. That's what I was going to say. Sex ed being abstinence only increases teen pregnancies. Right, right, right. Because they're not teaching safe sex. That's literally what you meant. No, I'm saying like being anal about it is what I meant. Right, right, right, right. No, no, I got you there. That's exactly what he meant. If you guys do sex ed for the first time. Oh my God. My mom brought me to like mother-daughter night and I wanted to die. What, what, what? Well, you and your sisters were smoking cigarettes at like 10 and talking about it. No, my sister did make me go up to my dad and be like, what are testicles? And it was awful. My parents, my parents, like I said, we did not talk about it. We didn't talk about sex at all. Like, but it was a household where if there was a mild sex scene in a movie, my mom would be like, close your eyes. Call your mom right now and be like. like hey mom absolutely I've had sex I've had sex this month just letting you know but I remember I think my parents had the talk like their version of it I want to say I was like 13 or 14 yeah so they walk up to me I'm scrolling E-bombs world hell yeah so like I've already I'm seeing everything I've seen things and they truly were just like they kind of were like so you know and I was like yeah I already know and they're like did you know yes by the time I was 13 or 14 yeah he was lying his ass no I was well I imagine like you're honest Amanda unlike you I actually used the internet as a child listen what did you use she was outside talking to trees we had one computer my mom was super strict we had one computer too but I would use it at night my mom was super strict about internet and TV so were we when your parents go to sleep you had a view of the world no don't start with me I also I would also be at friends houses they'd be like dude I found a photo of a vagina and you'd be like what they'd be like you want to see it and I'd be like yes well we were in second grade they'd be like on some website they're like check this out and it's like I downloaded porn on LimeWire it's going to be done in five days that's really what it was they'd be like check this out it'd be like this weird kind of blurry it was like a pixelated picture and it's like exactly and me 11 is like so is so okay okay yeah for sure well we found a playboy in second grade whoa we did it was in the alleyway behind his house it was like between the chain link fence and like a garage and we were just small enough to like slip back there what kind of movie is this it really was and the outsiders like what's happening and we like slipped back there and we're like this and he's just like look and we were like whoa put it down ran home you left it there yes we would go back to it communal playboy you would go back to it we told everyone about it it was your spot yeah like it was at the top of my block and like Frank said it's like it was a driveway that had like a fence and then there was a gap between the next area garage and this garage that you could like walk through and at the end it was like shoved into a crack and it was just like a playboy it was like a communal playboy taking it would have been so disgusting one of those days one of your teachers walks by and he's just like oh oh I'm gonna keep on walking now it was like oh my god this fucking and it was all like fucked up from the rain and shit it's from like 1973 yeah yeah yeah there's a lot of hair in here it's crazy do they look like that wait that's so I'm I like my I don't know if you guys ever heard of this but do you remember the I don't know if you remember this but my mom had this big book like an encyclopedia book called The Joy of Sex whoa have you ever heard of this your mom got after it no this sounds like a fairy tale it's like a 70s it's like a 70s book with like sex drawn sex positions of like like the guy looked like Chris Christopherson like 70s hell yeah you know and no it was the owner of Ragged Mountain well Uncle Merle wait that's shut the fuck up no it was like full 70s drawn out pictures like explained sex positions and me and my friends would go up to my mom's room and like really sneak attack and steal it reading it like the never ending story no literally but they were like hippies it was like The Joy of Sex no wow literally it really was it really was like that was the only like magazine we found but it really was like the early it was like the early internet where like you'd go on Kazaa and like you would be like I'm gonna download the new you know 50 cent album but it was just like a picture of like a top just some random top yeah yeah yeah but then like the computer would freeze so we would have to like yank the power out of it to turn it off yeah turn it back on dude you know what we used to do that was like this is I mean this feels like now we're ancient basically but because we you didn't have access to the computer but you're like Laura I gotta put this corny energy somewhere we would go to a pay phone and you would just dial 1-800 butt sex or anything like you can still do it like you could what if you could call 1-800 like big tits or something like it'll just pick up and it'll be a girl being like hi it's like a recording and she's like hi big boy you wanna bounce around these big boobs all you have to do is pull out that big credit card yeah and then you have to put it in your car did you did you have a credit card no we would hear that and be like oh my god and hang up and run away wait that's amazing you didn't know that I wish I tried that do it right now a very early episode do you remember we did that on the podcast yes we were calling all types of shit yeah because it's anything that like it's the seven letters so it could be like you know like sex fuck or like tits like anything like that they have cornered the market yeah this says a website right now and now it's on my work laptop yeah yeah you guys messed up Selena now sorry Selena I'm telling you if you call the number it's a recording it's like it's like very like old school like 80s it's like she's like hello and you're like this is ridiculous yeah so that was how we would like we'd be like oh my god but you'd have to hang up quick because then you'll get if you stayed on the line it would like charge you like eight dollars for a minute or something like that yeah how would you pay it was a pay phone well I mean if it was but like if you called from like a cell phone or a house phone or something like that yeah this is so funny dude thinking about these stories now is so funny I feel like I haven't told that in so long yeah the magazine is hilarious you guys your fans are probably like what the fuck is going going up in New York is nuts no they're fine we've said some crazy shit yeah we have I've never told the joy of sex story because nobody knows what it is yeah have you seen the miracle of sex the video no the miracle of life the miracle of life no I haven't y'all have to watch it in like gym is that a baby have you seen you know anything about that do you know what that is no I remember we I had to watch like a birth video when I was pregnant and it was really hard yeah it made me so I don't know if your wife did but like it made me so scared oh my god it's like a thing you have to watch you don't have but like your insurance your insurance will like send these these videos and your your OBGYN will like be like oh you should watch this to get educated and you don't have to but I love to know everything I'm like I want to know it all and it some of the videos are very very medieval like the the things they need to use like if your baby gets stuck they have to suction or clamp them out of there anyways so that was fucking wild yeah to watch that as an adult as a kid you're like yeah well the first time we were like introduced to sex ed we had it was fifth grade and our parents had to like sign a waiver and our fifth grade teacher the one that taught it was just like an old raggedy German woman so like she was like four foot four but had pipes that could she would scream and you could hear it from blocks a sonic a sonic boom yeah and so it was like you know she sat us down and was just like if you laugh you're out whoa and like it's very you don't learn about sex very serious like they took and like I love that we're like okay alright and then the first like she opened up the very first class like she was she was baiting us like she was trying to get people she was ready the very first thing that she said was the penis is just a miracle and you hear this out of an old German woman's name and him and one of our other buddies were gone within seconds yeah they just kicked me out yeah that's tough you were out before anything penis is a miracle out of this woman are you kidding me it's like you can't even write this kind of shit penis is a miracle I was like come on I think I may have looked over at Frank and he was just like yeah alright which is so like I'm losing it now that's really tough so they kicked you out and you just didn't get to learn about sex at all yeah I think that you just can't do the class anymore or maybe I was able to do the class I can't remember but shows how much we retained the education did not stick well I think you're just you're way too young you know what's funny about that too when we were in fifth grade I don't know if you guys had this at this age but first of all chalkboards yeah back in the day of course but we had a room we talked about this recently and as we were talking about it we were like wait what the fuck she would send two kids to go clean the erasers and there was a dedicated room that was like one by one tiny room room is generous it was a closet it was a and there was a machine that had bristles like this and you would turn it on and it would just go like that and it was a tiny room so we'd be in this small room that I think had like a one watt it was like very dark and you're just cleaning and the whole thing was filled with chalk and by the time you get back to your classroom you're covered in chalk we have like mesothelioma yeah seriously you get there and you get back to class you have the black lung or whatever the fuck minors get that's insane and you're like you're like alright here you go that's all we didn't know we did not have that and your face is just chalk covered kids today they don't have it as rough as we had we had to walk these kids don't know we had to walk up hill back up hill yeah up hill both ways we had to clean and get coughs yeah they don't understand up hill both ways I don't think you know how hills work yeah shut up that doesn't work wow sex ed yep well I think I've learned everything I need to learn when I had a baby you know what I'm saying yeah actually I don't know I think I mean who are we to say what you have and haven't learned right guys yeah that's right no I guess yeah dude from afar yep yeah how about that hold your hands for the rest of the episode and get what yeah I'm not giving you guys anything so why you don't get gifts for that I was specifically told we were getting gifts oh yeah do I get anything from being here we will get you guys we have lunch after this so Oh, if you guys want lunch. Yeah, we have lunch. We're serving breakfast. for lunch yeah that's not a treat pancakes that's another guys have those over there huge loved pancakes for dinner all right after that i'll we'll ask you guys because this is a conversation oh yeah hit us okay rank them best best of these three one two three okay one being the best french toast pancakes waffles okay easy i love all of them by the way yeah no yeah of course everybody know all right yeah yeah of course okay okay ready yeah yeah i'll edge with mine yeah you can go first pancakes french toast waffles pancakes one pancakes oh that's pan clark's number one french toast is incredible too and then waffles are great but they're they're just they're can i ask a question about the french toast is it like texas toast vibes or however you feel it is going to be best for you pancakes wow you guys are cakes french toast and waffle yeah i forgot your answer mine uh was uh waffles french toast pancakes whoa opposite last yeah pancakes are so easy to mess up that like what they are so easy to mess up a good what dry what helps with waffles too is that you can have them sweet or savory you can do like a chicken and waffles or something that is true chicken and waffles is legendary it is but uh it's a lot you do butter on everything no i mean are you like that maybe like butter like if you get pancakes you're like let me get a butter and put a little bit i'm not like going nuts it's more the syrup is the party yeah yeah yeah yeah what's your rank um i think french toast might be my number wow that's not bad look i'm not mad about anyone's yeah yeah sugar and strawberries yeah oh and it's like stuffed with shit oh no i don't know it needs to be stuffed it doesn't need to be and it's stuff what is going on everyone there was a diner that i went to one time that they would have pancakes and then next to it was just like every ingredient you could think of yeah and they would put it in the pancakes hell yeah fuck yeah i loved it savory stuff sounds like you like whatever you can do like it sounds like that's the number one type of feeling you guys had a you guys had a thing recently on your podcast where you showed a photo of a bunch of wings oh yeah and which wing and i picked the same one as you i was like that one because i'm like flats are so much better yes yes we agree yes yes the big bulbous ones not my fave yeah i'm like okay i do like i'll eat them i'm eating them all yeah yeah yeah i like eating those because it makes me feel like a like like like a it's like a man like a medieval yeah like a medieval yeah like a man for once like like a man for once you little boy i want to go to a run fair too yeah i think really dress up courtney's saying that like the ones here are crazy like a professional uh medieval medieval battle yeah like night fighting like in armor and shit that is so sick awesome my dream is to wear legit chain mail yes and have someone stab me and me just go oh no no no it doesn't work on me we could do that and i just spin and cut it you guys could do a whole live show about that yeah we could do that just we'll bring a chain mail and a dagger to a show and see what happens and you'll be on a horse yeah we'll love that what if you just with a gun yeah what if we shot each other yeah guns and stuff you guys are from new york we should commit to it though like i'll wear the chain mail and you stab me so let's be like he's so mean to frankie yeah no that's great you guys should do that building that up yeah or we'll stab ant to really like oh yeah i mean the show's over at that point it's over it's done yeah yeah can't have my god this was a literal dream like thank you guys he he he was like oh my god i'm watching basement yard i'm listening to basement yard you have to watch them and he's like you'd love them and then i did and i was like do i know these guys yeah have i known these guys forever well the last time we spoke about shane we said that joey would like whoop his ass in a fight so we were like on our toes i was on no i was scrolling and i was like oh they talked about me and then it was that i was like oh okay like cool oh they talked about me oh poor guy pop up i think we were just talking about like people we could beat in fights and i was the first name no there's no way i think i i can't remember the exact like yeah a child shane but i think we were going we were going off of like height because we were saying like you're trying to find your weight class yeah and then i said i was like you and shane would be a good fight and then i also i gave you your flowers i was like yeah you know but i don't remember what i said to be fair you said i think you said you said i would drag him around the ring i remember it specifically okay to be fair i would have said that about anybody yeah for sure it was very funny and i don't know that that's necessarily true it's just what i have to believe yeah it would be not a it would be a fun fight because there was those couple years where they were doing like the youtuber boxing yeah and i definitely had i definitely had the thought of like who would i have to fight and i was like are they gonna make me fight markiplier if i do it i'm like oh like well that's why yeah because we had i think it was right after the dr mike episode oh and he said that he was like a and he's a boxer whoa yeah he like fought on like two he's another one not very health conscious oh my god not a smart health well we were like punch me in the face and then like help me if i need help you know yeah but believe it or not he wasn't about it yeah but yeah that's how that's how we got there but we that's how you guys we've got boxing matches we uh we've loved you guys for years and just getting able to do this has been really really cool yeah we were super hyped when we found out that you guys like mentioned our name they were like yeah or someone like dm'd me or or like something and they were like oh dude talked about you on smosh and i was like what yeah trying to find it and then i was like how am i gonna fucking find this in here yeah and so i was like what's the time stay a five gajillion episodes i'm like i can't find it yeah we just like bounce all over no this has been fantastic and i don't know which videos are getting uploaded first but we just shot a games video with you before this yeah that was fun yeah where we hardly played the game hang on to your seats for that we kind of just did this also there right uh and then you guys are gonna be on reddit stories in a couple weeks and that was one of the best episodes we've shot thank you so much really really really cool truly this has been like very fun to do all of these it's awesome it's been so easy i feel like your guys dynamic it is similar to how we are with each other so yeah thanks and we'll come back whenever you want us okay hey yeah for sure honestly i really want you guys for werewolf i really want i want to play one of those games or is it kind of like a like trip like triple agent or something like that sure double agent maybe probably i think there's two two ages a triple agent would just be an agent i think he's just back to where he started yeah i think this this time around since this is our first time coming we're like on our best behavior next time it might get like fuck it up we're gonna like get a little rowdy yeah it might get a little rowdy we'll do edward 40s the 40s yeah it's just you two yeah and it's just shane vomiting and at the end we realized we didn't record it it's like oh yeah card corrupted anyways well uh thank you guys and uh oh yeah you guys have anything that you want to shout out shout out uh yeah you guys can uh catch us on tour um we'll be going out in september but you can go to the basement.com look at all the dates there find the one closest to you come hang out with your boys and go check out the basement yard yeah hell yeah hell yeah thank you guys so much we'll see you next week hey it's ryan seacrest for albertsons and tom thumb fall is coming which means coffin cold season is almost here get ahead by stocking up on all your favorite cough and cold essentials now through september 29th shop in store and online to save on products like allegra tablets halls drops mucinex kickstart zyrtec allergy relief tablets tylenol liquid gels one a day men's health and vicks dayquel and nyquil combo packs offer ends september 29th restrictions apply offers may vary visit albertsons or tomthumb.com for details this is janna kramer from wind down with janna kramer i had this moment the other day where i had to go to the bathroom and i had to go to the bathroom where i thought why am i waiting for my next vacation to enjoy life i don't need a week off just a day to rest and recharge would be amazing and so i went to resortpass.com there are hundreds of hotel resort pools spas and private beaches that you can be enjoying today without spending the night i booked 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