#147 - Try Not To Laugh: The Podcast (Elimination Mode) (Again)

Hi. Welcome to Smoshmouth. I'm Shane. Okay, you trying to get fucked or what's the deal? Hey, welcome to Smoshmouth. I'm Amanda and we have a wonderful guest for this today, Courtney Miller. Hello, and that's not all. No, we have many. You'd like that I said that, huh? Look, I don't like anything you say. It was really fun and flirting. I thought you were going to laugh and you didn't. I didn't think it was flirting at all. I was being weird. Oh, I thought you're that what flirting is. Should I guys stop fighting? I'm actually the wrong person to figure out what flirting is. We're playing you laugh. You leave again. So basically, if any one of us laughs, we have to get up and leave and there are we have many guests in the wings ready to hop in. Yep. And we're doing this in all in honor of we are filming this on May 28th, which is the 10 year anniversary of her on Bay's death. Yeah. Wait, does it? Did you do that because it looks like in your camera that Haramah is whispering into your ear? Yeah. He's talking to me. He's looking down on me. Well, I guess he's looking over me. He's looking over your shoulder. Yeah. He's either the angel or the devil on your shoulder. He's an angel. Stop it now. Before we start, we do want to mention, we want your guys hometown drama. Yep. If you can post this on the Smosh Reddit, we are looking for hometown drama. So we can read it. What are the stories that happened during your childhood? This could be your like your high school stories or just the thing that's known in your hometown. They will be anonymous and well, it's up to you. It's up to you. But we are going to read it and talk about it. And you know, try to decipher anything about it. Yeah. Give our advice, but probably not. Yeah. We just want to see how many parts of America and the world we can get. Yeah. You know, how much hometown drama. And we want to hear all about the drama. Yeah. And we also want to talk to you guys about Courtney. We're so excited that you're here. And then Courtney, you have a cute little camera. Yeah. And it's so cute. The thing started as it started. I think it starts now. Okay. It starts now. And it's fun. And don't freak out. No. Do not freak out. It's just if you laugh, you have to get the fuck up out of my face. So why are you about to laugh? Not about to laugh. What are the hell dare you say that? You seem like you're about to laugh my guy. No, not not at all. Selena, I'm going to need you to let me know when it's been exactly 69 minutes. Okay. Thank you. We cut it 68. We cut it 67. I'm not even doing the 6/7 stuff. You guys need to stop. I'm not doing the 6/7 stuff either. I to be honest, never did. I did a 6/7 joke like 10 times this morning. That's so fucked up. I'm not even joking. Anyways, we're done with 6/7. It's dead to us. It's done. Yeah. I have actually not heard it outside of here in like six months. That's not true. Or seven months? That was good. That was real good. He's never given me a compliment like that. It's crazy. That was good. No, I I I teed it up. I think what I what I realize, I think what I realize with with the 6/7 is how often we say the number six and seven. Six or seven things. It's so tight. Are you like so worried? I'm scared. No. Anyways, if you haven't seen you laugh, you leave the first one. It was really, really fun. Very fun. We got a little shout out from Lisa Lowe. Lisa Lowe. Yeah. Lisa Lowe was like Angela, if you don't know who I am. And Lisa Lowe has her own eye glasses. Big surprise. And she talked. She was And that's why I said I said Angela looked like Lisa Lowe because of the glasses. They were giving Lisa Lowe glasses. I love you. Yeah. It was super tight and complimenting how you said it to her. I thought it was kind of compliment. Okay. Well, I'm not the only person here obviously. I can't wait to see who comes out when you guys freaking laugh. Nobody. Wait, nobody? Yep. The chair stays empty and then it's just Shane and I again. Fuck. All alone. That's the first. Oh, also should we bring back the ants at some point? We should. That was a lot of fun. I'm going to address the commenters. Yes, my accent sounded like Christopher Walken. And yes, sometimes it sounded like Boston. And yes, sometimes it sounded Southern. It is so funny how you really try so hard not to mold into the accent or opposite you. And it's okay. I will say it is a problem. Anytime around someone with a Southern accent and they're doing it, I have to slip into it. It was so hard. You're just like mocking them. No, I'm not mocking them. It was just hard. I wanted to be Boston. Try going from Boston to Southern. I don't really do what Boston. Boston. Hey, I'm from Boston. Boston. Uh, is this like Boston? Sorry. Okay. So I'm from Boston. Right? I'm Boston. Yeah. Now I'm getting up here. This guy. Yeah. This guy's from Boston. And here's Ian. Hey, please welcome me. Oh, please welcome me. Yeah. So I did Boston. And then I go down to Southern. But then I go back up to Boston. Okay, you see that? You're actually doing pretty well. Dance. I just did it for 90 minutes. Uh, I did do it for 90 minutes. You did Southern. I did Southern for 90 minutes. And I never switched to Boston. No, you didn't. I switched all over. And you know what? That's okay. Not upset about it. You guys want to see what's on Courtney's phone? I thought that was a picture of you. It's Shane. Oh, Courtney, you shouldn't have left your phone. Sorry. He doesn't know your passcode. Oh, I didn't realize bones is mid-yell at me in that photo. Does your cat yell? Oh, my god. Can you can you give us an impression? He does. He owns is like a fox. He does a different meow every single meow. Do foxes do different. Yeah, they have foxes. Yeah. What does the fox say? I don't know. And I'm still trying to find the best song I've ever heard of my life. Amanda, stop. That was just for me. Get out. That was ridiculous. Okay. Hey. Olivia Sway, everybody. It's me. No, so bones. Bones will be like, he does like a lot of like chatty stuff. So back. And then when he gets like really, he's really hungry. He'll meow in a way where he scrunches his whole face at me. He'll be like me. This just sounds like the pork chop sandwiches guy, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. Pork chop sandwiches. Oh, shit. Get the fuck out of here. What are you doing? Go. I have to get the fuck out of here. Okay. Sorry. Actually, if I just take over this whole thing, I won't laugh because I'm too busy fucking talking. You're going to make yourself laugh. No, I'm not. I'm going to run out of air and you're going to pass out. And that counts too. No. Yeah. And you're going to shit. If you fall asleep and shit your pants, it counts. Like you always do. Yeah. Yeah. We see in the poop in your pants. You're about to laugh. That is so inappropriate to say to me as my boss. Yeah, Ian. All right. I don't think I'm I don't really think I'm your boss. That's right. You're not don't report up to me. I don't. Olivia specifically does. Olivia actually is this weird carve out. Yeah. Yeah. It's like in my in my contract that says I answer to no one. I don't answer to Ian. I'll listen to everyone else but Ian. So what's your opinion on shoes, Olivia? Okay. What's your opinion on clouds? Okay. Oh, what's your favorite cloud? My favorite cloud? Yeah. Like in the sky. Yeah. Well, yeah. There's different types of clouds, lenticular clouds, cumulonimbus clouds. I think he's making this up. No, the nimbus clouds are that that's a real one. We don't have to talk about it. You don't have a favorite. You're going to sit here. Are you hot in that? Yes. Are you going to isolate? I'm dying right now. I'm freaking dying. You could take it off. Take it off. Just take it off. No, because my my nipples would show them. No, it wouldn't. You're wearing a shirt. And I'm pretty sure I'm lactating right now. Okay. Ian. I do want to say that Ian keeps saying that he does not talk about milk or lactating and he's the one who brought it up. So I just want to put that down for the record. Did everyone hear that? Harambe, did you hear that, bud? Harambe. No, grossment, ladies and gentlemen. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you so much. By the way, we're allowed to have normal conversation. Yeah, we are. So I want to say, you know, just letting you guys know, like we're trying to make each other laugh. We're allowed to just talk. We're allowed to just talk, you know. Like Shane and I are kind of obsessed with, like horror TV and horror movies all the time. Oh, you know what? I just, the series I just finished watching Twin Peaks just finished at this. Which one? The original or the original. Yeah, original. I tried to, I tried. So I watched the first season. And I started the second season. I truly hit a point where I was like, I can't. Oh, it gets difficult. It gets, it gets difficult. But there's something so wonderful and can't be cherry pie. That's about it. I think he's just fucking with everything. So much kind of like it's a, it's a comedy. You know, and peaks is a comedy. I think David Lynch is funny. I think he just truly was like, I can make whatever the hell I want. And people are going to think that it's deep. Like, why are you just fucking with everyone? That's your David Lynch. Well, I don't actually know how he talks. I feel like if you did a day, I feel like it's like, hey, here's me. I don't know. That is probably what it's like. I get that. We want to know what the fuck Twin Peaks is about ask me. Yeah, I want to know what Twin Peaks is. Yeah. Got you. Oh, fuck you did. Come back here, juice. girl. Sit down. When you walk into Joe in the juice, you go, "So you got back there." You know what I say to women. That is the stupidest thing. What you got for us, Liv. Yeah, what is the juice that Joe has? And it's a worth the squeeze. It's a lot of pressed juice. I've gone to many Joes. Yeah. And they have a really delicious sandwich. Oh, it was like a trendy sandwich, right? A spicy tuna sandwich. Yeah. I love a spicy tuna sandwich. I wouldn't expect a man named Joe to come up with a sandwich. Joe is in coffee. Oh, but there's a man on the cover. Yeah. That's not Joe. Oh, cup of Joe. Oh, yeah, you're totally right. The other night I was in bed reading. I got really hungry. Okay. So I had one potato on my fridge and I boiled it. You keep your potatoes in the fridge? Well, I don't I don't want to see it. You don't want to see the potato. Okay. What, what's so funny? I'm really hanging on here. So I didn't aesthetically didn't want to see the potato in my kitchen. Okay. You get a cabinet maybe. Then it starts growing green and stuff. Okay. And it doesn't do that in the fridge. Growing green. I wish you guys can see Shane is so just like, what the hell is she talking about? Okay. So you took cold potato. I made cold potato and a boiled potato. Yeah. Yeah. I boiled. I boiled one potato and then actually takes a long time to boil a potato. Yes, it does. How big how big of a potato are we talking? I like Idaho potato. This big. I'm modest. And then and then and then I ate it. Okay. How did you eat it? What did you? How did you pour salt on it or? Poor question. Girl, I feel like I should say yes. I did pour salt on it. You ate that raw like just straight up hot water potato for dinner. Yes. Wow. Did you use a fork at least? No. I put in a paper towel and then I went back to bed. I ate it in bed. Stop. You ate a boiled potato in bed. Yeah. Kind of like you know, uh, Charlie and the chocolate factory. Okay. How is boiled potato? Did they boil potatoes in bed? Oh, oh, just eating in bed. Yeah. Living in bed. Yeah. But they didn't make the food and then go back to the bed. They couldn't leave the bed. All four of them lived in one bed and saved up from the toothpaste factory for one chocolate bar for the whole family to split. How does that work? Like two, four grand parents in one bed? Yeah. Like are they? They're there. There's something going on. Well, there, there's the, um, so Charlie and chocolate factory isn't real. I want to dive deeper into what you think could be going on. What do you guys think is going on in that? At that age, why would it need? Wouldn't that get really confusing though? Because like it would almost be like incest, but it's not. Oh, so you're saying if you're grant, if so if one pair of grandparents swung with another pair of grandparents, is that incest? Because then what if there's no genetics, right? But then they have a baby, right? Then what do you call that baby? Back to your father now. I think that's crazy. Sorry. Get in here. Let's talk about this shame. I know you're dying to talk. Okay, think about it. I think it's an uncle. It's you have an uncle and uncle that's younger than you. Guess so. I think people, people do genuinely have uncles that are younger than them. That happens a lot. That does happen. Yeah, that's an uncle. That's an uncle. So we think the old parents in that small little bed and Willy Wonka were incestual. I never had those thoughts, but I will say that watching I just got on. I got to hold it together a little. It was very hard. When you said I never had those thoughts, it was it was very, but it's, but you watch chocolate, Charlie and chocolate factory as a kid. Excuse what? Charlie and the chocolate factory. You watch that as a kid and you certainly get to that scene and you have, you're just like, what is going on here? I mean, it's got to be one of the most, like, verucosal things to watch, like you get to the, you get to the, I as a kid watching it and they get to the, the chocolate factory and all this shit's happening, you know, the blooms and everything. And I'm so like, I'm sorry, what was going on with those grandparents in the bed? I'm not kidding. I really was a boy's name. I was like, don't do that. Especially Augustus Gloop. Augustus. No. Yeah, that stuff is happening. But I'm saying, once and once the grandpa gets out of the bed and stands up as like dancing around, if I'm his son, if I'm the dad, I'm shooting him immediately. I'm like, what the fuck dad? Yeah. So I'm fucking shooting him. I will say the laundry, remember when the mom has a song for some reason in the movie? Which mom? The mom exactly. Right? She deserves more. Never. She's doing laundry. I'm a whole childhood. I thought she was making soup, but it was not. It was not a big soup. I mean, it is a soup of clothes. It's a cabbage. It looks like cabbage. It's a clothing soup. If you think about it, laundry is just clothing. Oh, no. Are you doing Kalel? No. Kalel. No. No. You need the stone. No. What is that from? Do another impression? That's really all I have is Gal Gadot. No, you work so hard on you in our sketch day Ian, you had an Arnold Schwarzenegger under your belt. Come on, go. Arnold, hey. You had you did Batman. I'll be right back. Come on. So I did do a Batman. Come on. Which was it? It was an impression of an impression, you know. This is Arnold's sick. I got the COVID. That was awesome. Anyways, soup. Wow. I thought about it longer. Tell me. Okay, so the grandparent. It's the ladies of other grandparents. No, grandparents. Yeah. So if one set of the grandparents had sex, right? And then they had a child. Yeah. That would belong. That child would be related to both husband and wife. Yeah. Charlie has parents, half siblings to Charlie's parents. Yeah. Yeah. And so I think that can happen. I think there are unique situations in the world that that has happened. And if you're listening, please reach out. Yeah. Reach out and let us know what you guys thought about the old people in the small vet in Willy Wonka. It looked like a vibe. It kind of did. Did they like with their feet like by their hips? Yeah. I guess they were. Look at they were like this kind of sizzling up. Like they were sizzling up all night. When I was a teenager, maybe a little younger, I would be really bored in the summer. And I would find like new ways to make my life more interesting. So I'd sleep sideways. Oh, I'm glad that went there because I wasn't sure what summer sideways we were going to have on a twin bed. You could fit. I'm small. I love you. It's really tiny. Yeah. My legs would be like from here, any Airbnb this and this is off of bed. Always. I remember being so excited to sleep sideways. Uh-huh. I remember being excited about sleeping. I do remember sleeping the wrong way, like, like putting a feet where your head is and being like, whoa, that's it. It's honestly kind of sick. Just like an exciting, like you guys try sleeping like a different direction tonight. Okay. I would like for a small video, maybe for a podcast episode, getting a king bed with backboards, four of us sitting in the bed like the Willy Wonka movie. And we see what we're, who's touching where? No, no, no, no. What are you talking about? We like figure out the, like, in the Willy Wonka bed, we do it. You're talking about almost like a true crime investigation of like, let's map out this scene. Well, that's like going on. We're gonna figure out who's touching where. But mostly we get to do the bed. That sounds so fun sitting in the bed with our backs on the boards and our legs and the touch. It wouldn't, someone should, I feel like this could end up being like a play off Broadway where it just follows the grandparents. Yeah. And it's like two of them are secretly having an affair. That's what I'm saying. And without the others knowing. But they're all in the bed. And they, and they, and they, they like pop out some half siblings and they have the birth in bed. The birth in bed. Because they can't get up. I don't like this. I don't like this. I want to move on. This is a nightmare. Olivia, you're reading East of Eden. I am. Yeast of Eden. I, I have it on my, it's, it's on my next like up to read. I've been reading that book forever. What are you reading right now? I just started this book called Dungeon Crawler Carl. But it is funny. Dungeon. I read a book called Angel Down that was insane. Guess what happens? Angel Down. Yes. So are you more of like story or prose? That goes back and forth. Shane's crazy. He'll do a story book, physical book, and then when he gets in his car, it's a, like a nonfiction audiobook. Yeah. I do audio audio. I do nonfiction for audio books. Some people consider listening audio books reading still. Yeah. That's, I don't. That's not reading that one is better for the brain than the other, but both are, they both count. I think they just, they're probably like whatever. They're stimulating different things in the brain, sure, but-- - Stimulating what, shit. - I don't really care. - You're married. Don't be stimulating shit. - I don't think one is better than the other. In fact, I do struggle with audiobooks more, and I'm like, I need to just more to like get better at my like attentive. - I don't remember, ever since. - Well, I do nonfiction for audiobooks 'cause I lose my place a lot. Like my mind drifts a lot more. - What nonfiction are you listening to? - It's called, there's no place for us. It's about homelessness in America. It just won the Pulitzer, so I was like, I need to check this out. - How do you like it so much? - It's fascinating, it follows five different families. - Wow. - You said I has struggled with listening to books ever since my concussion, and we should talk about that. - And that's why we actually planned all of this today to talk about that. - Well, I know that I became nicer after my concussion. - Well, I never said that. - I only keep that back. - I actually think I, I feel like I joined Smosh shortly before or after that happened, so I don't know. I don't have any frame of reference. - Ian's laughing. - Ian's laughing at you. - 'Cause it's true. - How messy. - It's not true. It's not true. I've always been a very nice lady. - I think that's true. You have like lifelong friends and everything, so I would believe that you do. Like nobody, like you have like friends who you've been with for so long that you must be a nice person. I pay them, that's not a funny joke. I might make myself laugh. - You're okay. - Don't know. - Don't. - Stop it. - Olivia. - Olivia. - Olivia, stop it. Stop it. - What other insane things can I say to you? - I know, this is a very like normal version of, ow. - Out of here. - What if I broke my ankle? - This is okay. - What if I go to my therapist office and just decide to sit like this? - It is actually insane, how far are you? - No. (laughing) - Shit. (laughing) - So you going fishing later? - Yeah, I'm thinking I'll go fishing and I'll sit like this. - Everybody has more flexibility than me. This looks flexible to you? - That's very flexible. - I am struggling. - I am struggling for 13 years. - Flexible? Are you, can you see the strain? But it's still flexible. - Okay. - It's comfortable. - I gotta stop, it's not. - It looks great with a fishing vest or a scout vest. - Thank you. - Appreciate it. It's a fly fishing vest. - Shane, I think it's because for the first 15 years that you worked out at the gym, you never stretched a day in your life. - That's true, I was really bad about it. I know, it's so weird. I can't get the motivation to stretch 'cause you kind of have to be alone with your thoughts 'cause when you're stretching, you know. - No, you know, it's the same as working out, dude. - It's a little different 'cause working out, I don't know. I'm enthralled. - I love you, it's really mad at you right now. - I don't know why, 'cause stretching, you have to hold a stretch for like 60 seconds so you have to like sit there. - You don't wanna work in your brain when you're stretching. - Yeah, that's why yoga is all stretching 'cause it's like, it is a meditation. Are you guys fighting? - No, opposite. - I think we're having a nice little foot time. - You're with the grandparents today. - Oh my God. - Hey! - Oh man. - And you're both gone. - Sorry Noah. - This is brutal for Noah because Noah naturally just like laughs as he talks. I don't think I could do this. - Oh my God. - Sorry. - It's a flexibility thing, but also my hips. My hips are not open. Okay, brag much. - I can't do that. - Let me tell you. - That's a mother right now. - You're telling me if I birth a child, I can do this? - No, no, I've been like this forever. You have to fucking stretch. - No, I'm gonna get pregnant. I'm gonna get pregnant. - I know. - I do, you can, should. I do hear you about like. - Oh no! - It's all in your mind. - Get out of here. - My hips. - No, it's hard to like stretch 'cause you're like, I'm thinking about what if you listen to your audiobook while you're doing it? - Yeah, well, what I have been doing, I've been, Courtney, can a test, past couple days, like I, as we're watching TV, I'll stretch like in front of the TV. I'll add a yoga mat and I'll be stretching while there's a show on. And you just have to deal with, well, you laughed, so. - What the fuck am I supposed to do with that? - Olivia chose you and that's. - I'm listening to what she's doing. - Olivia isn't even, she is kind of like posed like it's picture day at school. Everyone's posed all weird on the mics. Okay, so they're over there. Courtney and Olivia are doing their own thing. So, now I'm just here by myself, feels like. - Let's, let's gang up on him. - Let's. - I dare you. - Oh, yeah. - You're outmatched. - Outmatched. - Yeah, okay, go for it. What do you got? - Poop, poop, poop. - No, no, no, no. Olivia, thoughts? - Do you own a vest? - Sweater vest, right? I own a sweater vest. - You own a few vests. - What? - Nice. - What? - What vests do you do? - Why are you lying to us? - Oh, I'm sorry, you forgot your suit. - That doesn't have a vest? - The newest one does. - I don't think it does, I don't think it does. - It does. - How do you know? - Because I looked at it and I pay attention. - Yeah. - Yup, yup, Shane. - I got a, I got a Navy suit. - Got you. - Yeah, Shane, we got you. - We got you. - So I got a Navy suit. Classic, some may say. - When are you gonna wear it? - That the wedding, soon. - What wedding? - My cousin's getting married. - What's your cousin? - What's my cousin? (laughing) - What, your cousin? - What, your cousin? (laughing) - Who is it? - Olivia, you had a podcast for a little bit. I did have a podcast for a little bit. - Called Fish Cheeks, which cheek were you talking about? - Don't just like fish cheeks. - Actually, fish cheeks. - Damn it. - Actually, I'm trying, honestly just fish cheeks. You guys, you want to interject, you order the bansino? - The fish cheeks are the best part. - Yeah. - It's the delicacy. Oh, that was a place? - Yeah. - She went to a restaurant that I really like, and they have a really delicious bansino there, and then the head is on the fish, and then you eat the cheek, and then my friend eats the eyeballs. - Oh, that's next level. - Yeah. - I'm not like that. I'm not that level of eating eyeballs. And what level would you describe yourself at? - Me. - I guess Ian of eyeball eating. I wouldn't eat eyeballs. - I mean, the thing is, if we've all eaten hot dogs, we've probably all eaten like pig rectum at this point. - Yeah, but we were talking about fish eyes. - I mean, we probably all eaten pig rectum. That's the unfortunate thing. - If you guys had to choose the Titanic death for you, which one? - Oh, propeller guy. - Propeller guy, I'm sure. - Oh, propeller guy's the first pig. - What is propeller guy? - You're telling me, you don't know propeller guy. - Have you seen Titanic? - Yes, that would be, yeah. - Yeah, there's the guy who falls. He's holding on to the end of the railing as it starts to list up and break in half. And he falls onto one of the big propellers. - He falls and then he goes, "Dun!" off the propeller and flips into the water. - Do you wanna be that guy? - Yeah, 'cause it's the most epic death that happens there. Well, okay, the rich people that they're just like, "Oh, we're just gonna drink and go down with the ship." Wasn't that actually supposed to be one of the, it wasn't a Rockefeller, but there was some like famous, like old money, multi-millionaire that was on that ship. And it was an aster. Aster, I hardly know her. And we will move on to the next segment. (laughing) - Unfortunate. - I appreciate it. - Have you always worn glasses? - No. - When did you find out that you were being blinded over time? - Do you own contacts? - No, I've never put a contact in my eyes. - So you've always worn glasses? - From the point that I started wearing glasses, yeah. - Which was when? - Probably like 2018. - You felt like you really needed it? - I just, I feel like there's some like, you're hiding something about these glasses. Is it just me or does it feel like there's more to this story that's what you did in your life? - You guys, you guys, you fall in love. Okay, I have a question. - Where are you going with this? - All right, you fall in, okay, you're in love with the most perfect person. - I deal, I deal soulmate person, but they wear frames without lenses. - Oh, that one, that one's a complete deal breaker. - 'Cause I feel like you-- - That's gonna be a clip. - If you're gonna fake it, if you're gonna fake it, I'm glad you decided for us, that that one's gonna be the clip. - Is it not gonna be? (laughing) - What's wrong? - It's funny, I'm making myself laugh. So okay, go on. So okay, what if you meet the soulmate, whatever? - And they don't have lenses in their glasses? - Just frame. - Just frame is rough. I think there's obviously people that wear, well we know, we know somebody that wears, they wear glasses sometimes, and they don't have prescription lenses in them. - Who? - I do that too, but I'm saying no lens. - Yeah. - Like you can go like this. - Yeah, no, that's some goofy Halloween type. - That's how you take head shots when you're a child. - Really? - Yeah. (laughing) - We got her. - Oh man, no, that's good. - Taking head shots as a child knows it. - Tell us about that process. - The process of getting head shots done when you're a child is getting like three or four outfits, all the same tint of green because it complements your eyes. And then you spend like two hours with a woman just kind of flashing your eyes and taking pictures. - Oh. - Okay. - Did you ever do dark films or comedies? - Well, technically I've been in a film that's very, very dark as into the reality of what's occurring on camera. You'll never know how dark and illegal it is. But by watching the content-- - Awesome. - It's fine. Yeah, that's totally separate. - I think the first time I got head shots, I was not a kid, I was a little bit older. - Oh yeah. - And they were not head shots. They were like, what I thought were head shots, but they were like weird model shots in Boston. And they looked so weird. - It's like even weirder than a school day picture. - Yeah, they're the weirdest things, school day pictures were. That was a fight to the death for me. - Yeah. - Because I always, I never liked my clothes. So I always wanted to steal like my sister's clothes. And it was like mission impossible the night before a picture day. I would take a shirt and then I would put it on and then put a jacket over it and try to get in the car with my sister and get there. - Wow. - So. - Yeah. - How was that kill today? - Sorry, let me get this straight. - Hmm. - Hmm, hmm. - Are you okay? - He's struggling I think. - Oh, 'cause you're not wearing real shots. - Sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry. So the grandparents slept foot to head, or were they head, head, head. - Ian, are those real lenses? - Yeah. Yeah. This is what's crazy. 'Cause I got LASIC. And I think once I got LASIC, it feels like a member. - Lenses. - Oh, poor Noah, you had big, big sunglasses on. And anytime the sun would hang your eyes, you were just so many tears. - Yeah, and every time I told someone I got LASIC, they were like, "Oh, see, that's why you don't get LASIC." And I was like, "I just got it. That's a great time to start this conversation." Yeah. So then I felt like I had to become a salesperson. I had to, I had to really pitch LASIC to people. - Oh, they're laughing. - I'm not laughing. Where's, I'm smiling and enjoying the moment. - Just have a sneeze coming. - We should maybe try to get him to laugh. - Okay. - What are you guys trying to make me laugh? - Press milk. - That's good. - Weird trains. - Whoa! - Weird trains? - I don't know, I'm just making a press talk. - Go on. - Weird trains. - I've ever said anything about trains. - I don't think you have either. 'Cause your thing is highways. - Yeah. - That's a fact. - What's your guys favorite? - I don't like highways that much. - Well, I don't like them either. - I use them. - I would. - I don't like them either. I just have favorite. Have you ever seen photos of like old Los Angeles where there's so much public transit? Like, there's all the trolleys I've been wearing? I was like, "Oh my God, we got rid of this." - And there were so many problems with them too. 'Cause there's always like 10 people tied up on one track and one person tied up on the other track. And that was just happening all over Los Angeles. - What do you, is that cornfields? - Nice. - Yeah, Amanda and I did that show. - Yes, and it was crazy. - And so, trains. - Yeah, trains. What's your favorite nature documentary? - Truly anything with David Attenborough. I rock with that shit, man. - He's so old now. - I love him. - He's steady, looks great, and he's killing it, dude. - Have you heard about the documentary where a woman has a thousand men run a train? - I mean, you thought that-- - No, tell me more. - There's a train. And isn't that excited you? - I don't like trains. I've never even been on a train. You've never been on a train? - Never been on a train. I've never been on a train. - The surf liner. - Why would I be on a fucking train? - The train from Los Angeles to San Diego is genuinely one of the coolest. Oh, so you have, so that was a lot. - I love trains. - So you're lying about that. What else are you lying about? - I don't know, maybe my glasses are fake. - I mean, when I look at your eyes now, I do see like, 'cause you know what, you can tell it's a prescription when they're, there's a warp. I don't really see much of a warp. - But they're probably a low prescription. Mine are pretty low, minor low prescription. I basically wear glasses only when I do adreads 'cause of the teleprompter. It's just far enough that it's like fuzzy. And I'm like, I need glasses for this. - I'm supposed to wear glasses. I barely passed the vision test when I renewed my license because my left pupils fucked up. And so I did the right side and I was like, nice. And they're like, okay, another eye. And I was like, oh fuck. - And then when you put glasses on, I become one of those like horrifying closeups from SpongeBob. - Yeah. - And you're like, oh, and you like take your glasses off. - Yeah, I don't wear glasses to protect myself from shame. - Yeah. This show, you know what I forgot is painful about this show is when you're off to the sides and then people are like having conversations about things that you wanna talk about. - Yeah. - You guys brought up Branzino. - What do you think? - Oh, you wanna talk about Branzino? - I've never had Branzino, but I think I wanna make it. - Is it? - I wanna make it. - Branzino just sees that. - Just a whole fish. - Is it just a fancy way saying see that? - No, Branzino is a fish that's from like grease, right? - I, I can make, I'll, I'll give you a Branzino. - Ooh. - Whoa. - I would love that. 'Cause yeah, you take the whole fish, you like, you make cuts in it, you fill it with seasonings. You just do it whole. - I stop it. - Okay. - And then Dale. - Oh yeah, love it. - And then she eats it like that she grabs it by the tail. - And you just go. - She goes. - Oh. - Ooh. - And then I let it bake for a little bit. Oh my God. - Oh yeah. - It's so good. - Um. - I try to make it even. - Yeah. - Sure, we got another here. - We got another here. - I don't know, I don't know if we're picking up any of your audio, but if you want to keep talking, I'll just, I'll just say exactly what you're saying, like one second after. I just speak Mandarin. - I am, I am surprised you guys don't have a boom. - Um. - No, we're really good. Oh, you are all, has a boom? - Yeah. Just in case. - You're a loser. - I already said that one on there. - Yeah, feel the shame. (laughing) - Don't do that. (laughing) - Makes Amanda laugh, but nobody else. - No, I really couldn't do something. - Yeah, I knew I would ricochet. The only way to make Courtney laugh is to make Amanda laugh. - The only time, the only time, the only time Ian doesn't wear glasses when he's driving. - That's especially when I wear my glasses. - No. - 'Cause I can't see things far away. - Anyways, we were recording, you've had multiple outfits today, 'cause we did a Reddit stories earlier, just saying you had a different outfit. You had a whole different outfit. - Yeah, 'cause I'm a fucking professional. - Oh, see, I do the things, see what I do for these shoot days. I have one pair of pants and I have two different shirts. - Oh, that's smart. Yeah, I didn't like the synergy between the pants that I brought, so I had to bring the whole fit. - You're only taking your pants? - No, I changed everything. - You changed everything. - You brought different jackets. - Yeah. - You're changing your underwear? - Yeah, yeah, it's more of a spiritual thing. Yeah, 'cause I had to feel different, you know? - You guys have a favorite. - So one's like chainmail and one's made of like fish scales. - Oh, okay. - They give you different power-ups. - Underwear. - Oh, me, Undies. - Does it have like a little like-- - Fly? - Oh, this is the thing that we talked about with Spencer where it's like, he uses that. - Of course, yeah. - I don't, I go over. - You go over. - Talk about, you're talking about the underwear, like the flap and like, do you like, go through it? Or do you just go-- - It's like, hold down the underwear. - 'Cause if you have a zipper fly for your jeans it just makes sense to pull it through. - I feel very uncomfortable talking about my weenert. - This is what we talked about in the first unit, you laugh you leave, so. - Oh yeah, okay, all right, it's what we talked about. - But we don't have to talk about it again. You know, that's what Spencer-- - Do you have a problem with the fly? - No, I just, I, I, I, you guys wear skims. - You guys? - I don't wear skims. - You know skims? - Yeah. - Do they have skims for him? - Yes. - Oh, I've got some good Calvin Clines that I like. - Okay. - Those are fancy, those are nice. - Very nice. - Those feel good. - I feel like if you have Calvin Clines yet, like, show it off in the waistband. - No, I don't really. - You gotta hike that shit up. - No. - You know? - No. - And just everywhere you go, be like, no. - Are those new pants? I've never seen you wear pants like that. - These are not new pants. I've had these for a couple of years now, but I, I, there's some of my favorites. - When is the right time to wash your jeans and pants? - Every time you wear it. - So I would say. - Some would say never. - So, so, selvage denim heads have this whole thing of like, you, you go for as long as you can without washing them. - Yeah. - 'Cause then it builds up the natural fadelines and everything and stuff. But, I don't know. I, I kind of, I kind of play it by like vibe. - That's how I wash my ass. - Okay. - I play it by vibe. - Ten wears of jeans. - But what if you're going to Korean barbecue? - Oh, see, that's a full, that I need one of those things. You know, in sci-fi movies, when they like, leave like a thing and they get like sprayed and everything. You need that, 'cause I smell like Korean barbecue for a week after. - I think and they have that. - It doesn't always bad. - Closets where you can put your clothes in and it just like sanitizes and it takes out the smell. - Wow. - Wow. - Yeah. - It's like if you're near a bonfire or any sort of barbecue, it's like, you're gonna smell like that forever. - Yeah. - I dress accordingly when I'm going to like barbecue spot. - Right, yeah. - Nothing. - Have you ever put your jeans in a freezer? - No, apparently that doesn't. - Apparently that might work for the smell, but it's not like it's cleaning it. It's just, I don't know. I also don't have, I'm like, no, I've got, I want to use my freezer for other things. - I put some potatoes in there. - You would put potatoes everywhere. - Okay. - But out on the counter. - Are we close? You're close to laughing? That make you almost laugh. You almost laugh. - I just don't understand your relationship with potatoes. - You had one potato in your fridge. - Did you only have one potato in your fridge? - Yeah, so I said. - You just had one. - I had one particular. And then you took it out. I took it out and I put it in water boiled it. Yeah, yeah, do you salt the water? No, oh, I should have huh. I didn't do that No, and oh sorry. Do you do you peel it? No, I ate the skin you ate the skin is really good. Yeah, I have potatoes all the time I ate a ton of sweet potatoes. This was a lot of sweet potatoes. I know and no season. Hey, you're talking about like a russet This was an arosody. There didn't have like a golden a Yukon. Yeah, it was a Yukon. Oh It's like buttery But you didn't have any butter on it. No, I thought about it, but then I didn't do it and okay, and and you said you ate this in bed Yeah, was it on a plate or a paper towel? Okay, so paper towel and You took you just you just fisted it you just put it in your hand and yeah I fisted a potato while I was reading east of Eden. So you're I mean that's when it cuz there's not a farm Yeah, is it where you is that what inspired me? Yes, he was a subconscious like Let me get in touch. Yeah, very different Because it would have been kind of fucked up if you're eating grapes of rap. It's like you guys wish you had one of these, you know grapes no potato. Oh, cuz it's the dust bowl. Oh, okay. I was thinking like and then when I'm reading Lord of the flies You're like I'm a girl. So oh Yeah, there were no they were saying like no cause flies or something eating. Oh, yeah Yeah And name a book. Oh, dude. Yeah, in order of the flies at east of Eden Name another oh you read secret history. I did I loved that book. I loved that book. I love that book that book was so good. I love that book It was so good. Okay I was being for real for a moment. Hey guys. Oh my god. We're like we're like the grandparents in bed Courtney's very uncomfortable by this. She's she's giving a very grossed out Face is it probably everybody in this room is I've never felt your hands before my hands. Yeah, they're soft We've worked here for 10 years. Why would I be holding my co-workers hand? That's that's inappropriate Yeah, and I'm always saying that I always see you walking around with your with one of our co-workers and you're holding their hand Spencer Yeah, and it's making us all very uncomfortable. Okay, man deal with it We can talk about Tell about whatever we want. What's your favorite if you ever wanted it? Have you guys ever wanted to go on a submarine? No, I'm not into discovering stuff in the ocean No, no, no, you don't have to discover you could just like look at a fish or something. I don't want to I think I went on Disneyland They got the Nemo ride. That's a little submarine I want to do stuff like that. I do a little submarine. I rather go in a space than go in water really Yeah, you'd rather go all the way up in a space feels more discovered and safe space is more discovered Yeah Who do we have discovering ocean stuff? James Cameron only James Cameron. It's just James Cameron and Jacques Cousteau So wait, so does that mean there's avatar in the ocean? I believe I think it's a real film. I think it's a documentary. I would like that Okay, I'm just gonna get out of here Mission accomplished I think Oh, so I'm just gonna talk about myself now because we can change topics. Go ahead Noah. I'm fostering - we're gonna listen to Noah Let's talk about himself now. Yeah, I'm fostering two little kittens right now. Oh, what are their names? So they were given to me as Iggy and Sabbath. It's from a litter named after like rock stars and rock bands But I just call them the diarrhea twins Because they their brother and sister and they love to shit with each other They'll be facing opposite directions and they'll both just diarrhea kind of next to each other the themes today are out rage It's the truth Incessial old people potatoes and and fridges without salt or butter and diarrhea twins. Yeah, my goodness terrific It's such a powerful stank Like permeates my apartment at this point. I they will be leaving soon. They're gonna go get adopted They're going up to San Francisco. I'm fostering. I'm fostering. Did you ask if I was gonna throw them away? No, I want to throw away the Why don't you throw away the poop? Oh, I do, but it's just because they they don't mean For it, but it's like they are in it and you got to keep wiping them and at a certain point you just can't stop Cleaning a cat that doesn't want to be cleaned and it's it's like a little demon Covered in diarrhea and so at a certain point you do what you can and then you just you put it back in its little little pan area This is good for you to like know how it feels like to have like a baby. Yeah, I'm learning that I don't think I'd be good at it babies Don't just die a real time everywhere. Tell me more about this. Yeah, they do don't they have like blowouts Yes, they have blowout they do shit all the way up to their neck So yeah, I Mean I wasn't even trying to make you laugh. It's a fact like they do have blowouts where they're literally Sitting there and they're like the babies and then it's a blowout up to their head I heard that when you have a little boy baby and you they're peeing sometimes it shoots up into your face and Yeah, well, I I have a little I have a little hack because I've been peed on you know a bit So I know and like I'm ready for it I know exactly when he's gonna be no I take the diaper and I put another diaper underneath and then I whip out the diaper And I put the other diaper on top because once once it hits cold air. Let me tell you our pain really. Yeah The stream is flowing. Have you been peed on I'm talking about this even peed on yeah Not by choice. No, not by choice. Even if that's what you're into it actually doesn't it. It's not even that crazy anymore It's not what I'm into I get so I want to talk about that. Mm-hmm. I wish you just ignored it We can go back I was going to but everyone it's a podcast ever and can you hear everything? No, they can't Eric says yes That is sometimes I think oh, it's like well, they'll cut that but the people in the room hurt it Oh, we don't cut anything on Smoshmouth. We love to keep it all in really yes. There's so many things I'm gonna have potato stuff where it's gonna be the highlight they have a whole folder of potato stuff Olivia has said that Yeah, I will say I love eating potatoes. Just plain. It's so good fine plain, um, boiled, boiled, boiled, no salt, no butter, just Potatoes are really popping it in and also I also read books and then listen to audio books. I'm listening to famesick right now and it is so good That is who's gonna done them. Mm-hmm. Oh, I do need a it's a very very good book You know how I like a potato Mashed lots of butter Impregnated with sweet corn. Whoa guys Huh lots sounds really good and you and you just shovel that shit once lots of you had that a couple nights ago You made it didn't make it. I was at a restaurant. It was like a where do they have that? It was like an Irish restaurant No, no Scottish restaurant and they had cream corn and mashed potatoes I think I know where them like and Boston market No, it's that's a boss that's like a restaurant, right? It's like near Taluca Lake I think it's called Tam's O'Shanter. Oh, I've always it's an outwater Walt Disney's favorite it that place is a blast I had a Welsh rare bit there You have one cocktail and you leave being like what happened to me really? Yes, I have a carpet head to toe And you're just like what happened to me. I had to tell that way in a long time I would really like to get that way. We got you. How's that hand doing? What do you write? Why are you resting it really bad? God? Okay? Is it broken god? Also, let me just say I do put my jeans in the freezer Wow Technically that does kill bacteria there are certain bacteria that can't live in super cold temperatures Just like when you boil water that goes bacteria But it doesn't necessarily get rid of the stink. Yep, you can boil them. You can boil your jeans might change the shape Wait, you can boil your jeans. Bull jeans. You can bowl your jeans. Boil your jeans You both are gone Bye girls. Go. I miss you girls. All right. Whoa jackets off. All right. Welcome to URL Okay What's your internet history go? What have I been doing on the internet? Oh, we all watch that birdwatching documentary Yeah, Listers. It's incredible. That was so good. Love that one That was incredible. Yeah, he and took the jacket off got too hot for the podcast listeners the jacket is off No, I I I padded it earlier, so it's It's dry you're not very yeah, my chest is my chest is very hairy. It's funny because like um Sometimes I'll go running shirtless and I feel like I feel like every guy shaves their chest now. It's very strange interesting or waxing I don't know. Yeah, you know what I like the only person that goes like that goes like shirt off with body hair I never thought about that when I see people running or jogging in in Los Angeles all these years I don't think I've ever seen a like a really hairy dude running They they need to get out where the bear is that do you think maybe it's because Guys who are more naturally hairless are just for some reason more comfortable to take the shirt off if that's like Am I my own? So it's like guys that Have nice bodies that want to show off like the the gains Want to shave off their body hair to show to show the muskles Which I don't have And I just don't care. I don't shaving shaving all my body hair off That's a lot of work like a lot of work. Yeah, you know what I like and he did rivalry. There's this one guy That it's like it's not super hairy. He is hairy, but it wasn't shaved off. It was almost like he got like it trimmed Oh, and it looked so mean it like happy trail Oh, no, it's up here. It was like all one length that looked not even real I was like yeah, I'm gonna give me a picture. No, you're talking about the barista Yes, yeah, this the smoothie guy is my phone there Oh, I am going to look up. No that that show is insane. Okay, hold on one second. Yeah, that storyline. I was like Jesus I need to hold on I thought I was heated rivalry smoothie guy shirtless images Minus AI yeah, make sure to add the minus AI AI heated rivalry you find it I feel like yeah, so I so pretty doing this So that's come on share share with the class corny share it with the class Okay, I'm just trying to find a high res one. Oh, yeah, we got to see each individual follicle No, I remember we Courtney never watching. He'd rivalry together the whole time she's gone It came to these scenes and it's like He looks insane. He does not look real. Oh, okay, and then it goes with the guy. Oh, yeah Come on share some with the guys. I remember these scenes You hate that it looks like well-gardened. Oh, let me certainly. Yeah No, it's it's oh Yeah, he's probably using yeah, he's using like a he's shaving it at like a three. He's easy. Yeah, he's using like a head So head so no head head I'll air drop. I'm gonna screenshot this since an air drop it to you Noah to everybody in the office Yeah, who's up on it? Who's up on the air drop right now here? Caroline? Damn it. This must be yours. That'll oh That was just in there. Tyler Tyler. You need a code to air drop you by the way. It's a This is happy day. I'm not giving that away to anyone Airline accepted Eric yeah, Eric I need a code looks insane. Yeah. Oh, yeah, he did rivalry. Yeah, yeah, they're hockey players except for him He's a barista, but it also looks like that more like hot keep players Hot keep players. Yeah hot key. I love unless you're not on the couch But you're also on the couch. Olivia just has continued to be part of the conversation Olivia, you need to do this out in public where like you go somewhere like at a restaurant you go and sit by yourself and a table nearby You just kind of join their conversation. I feel like she does do that. You should just do that Yeah, I feel like Olivia can strike up a conversation with like any random group and have a great time I feel like you've done that a lot in your life. I am outside of work. This is my right now This is my impression of Olivia like just like if you're in the middle of a whoa You're in the middle of a conversation and then like Olivia's just nearby and she's just like what's the deal with that? Okay, guys. Can I ask like okay? If I'm like if I have a temperature of 110 is that bad? Okay, no, I'm just asking now. I was curious and she just calls them chat Chat she would never say that. What do you think about that? Olivia would never say Olivia's not a chat girl He Olivia would simply never say that. You can't catch Olivia dead near a chat. I did I did have a lady do this to me at an airport lounge It was Anthony and I were sitting there talking and she just straight joined our conversation. Were you at a bar? It was kind of like a restaurant table and she was in the table next to us and And she was by herself and you know, I'm not gonna tell her to like I'm not gonna be like fuck off So hey don't quote that guy can I can I ask can I ask like generally what you were you guys talking about like I have I don't remember but she just how did you remember how she joined the conversation at all? No, cuz it was it was like an inconsequential conversation and she weighed in and then Anthony got up and Went somewhere else and then I was stuck talking to this this like 70 something year old lady. Oh shit But like 45 minutes whoa to an hour. Yeah, she told me all about her travels and She told me about her like medical conditions. Yeah, and She told me about her kids and about how About how she used to run a bakery in Oregon and Yeah, and then she's like my name's Betty Crocker and you you looked away for one second Look back and she was gone. No, and then we banged in the bathroom. Yeah, what grandpa style? I'm not grandpa for all. No, no, no, we did the old Rasmus has no We did the all honky tongue Got himself. I knew you would get himself I Wish we could talk about the guy he quoted just moments ago Fuck off. We can't I can't find his social stuff. I can't find his social stuff anywhere See if two kittens right now. Yeah, I've got two two kittens. That's really amazing two poopy kitties Yeah, it's a little poopy kitties. It's nice to have a little bit of energy in the house my other cats hate them That's fine. How many cats total do you have now for but I've got two on my own one of which is whom Courtney Yeah, yes, yes, and I was able to adopt we haven't told that story on smash. Have we have we not ever? I don't know But yeah, cat showed up at your door. I was literally in my courtyard and like heard a little Like there's this little white kitty tiny kitten ran right to me and I was like, oh my gosh It was just like immediately like attached and I was like crap. I got to do something about this Brought it in and my cats were used to the cat cafe life So they would didn't even bat an eye at a cat in the house kept it in the bathroom because it was covered in fleas And then I like tried driving around town to find a vet and it's like all the that's we're closing and then I got managed to book An emergency appointment for like 9 p.m. To go check if they're okay And then I literally was like texting and I was like because you had been like nesting you were getting ready to like get a cat It was incredible the day before you found baby bell who became baby bell the cat Was when I got my cat tree and the like cat pooper all the stuff literally just got delivered from chewy because I was like I want to have a cat. I want to get a nice pet with my girlfriend and it just lined up amazingly It's crazy. Yeah, it's crazy Like I literally just sent you a picture was like you want a cat and you're like wait seriously And then I just handed little baby off to you to take to that that appointment and it was ever since yeah She had fleas she had worms She gave birth to a worm out her butt on our couch. That's right. Yeah, yeah, it's incredible I've heard about that happening. Oh, yeah, it's when I mean I'm happy I didn't see it I was sent a picture but my girlfriend had to fight it to get it out of When they realized that it's not a safe place. They try to go back in Oh, I mean we're gonna bleep all this. Oh, yeah, sorry Oh, no, he's like a horror film. No, and that's how we know that it wasn't like someone's kitten that was gone Only for a few hours like that was a wild kitten. Yeah, and based on her meow It sounds like she didn't even drink water. It was probably like a motor oil puddle. Oh Yeah, she's got this little rascal. Yeah But no, now she's doing great now. She's lovely healthy cat so fat. Oh my gosh She's gigantic that is like that is that is why cats domesticated themselves You know what I mean? Like cats did everything they could they were like we got a we got to get out of the World's Mart. Yeah, and then they're like oh we get to eat as much as we want now and just hang out It's weird when I like when I spend like a day at home like Like on a weekend, and I'm just like, oh, this is what you guys do all day every day. That's crazy Yeah, like they'll be napping and they'll get up and they'd be like I'm gonna go take a nap somewhere else I'm just like yeah, what a life. I Did not grow up with a lot of cats around me. I grew up with like six dogs like not my family But every holiday it was like a thousand like golden retrievers or labs or shitsos or all these crazy dogs See I'm I love dogs were you are you a tall child Amanda? Were you tall from the get-go? Okay, because I again, I had a dog family dog, but I was always a very small child dogs were fun But it was like being in you know the Lion King. Oh when you stamp me. Oh, it's funny They brought this up because the other day I was just thinking about how I was holding my aunts dog I'll never forget it. I was young. I think I was like four or five and he was a big lap I was holding him on a leash and he decided to like go for something and I was lifted in the air like Flue in the air like no Holding him on a leash and I was like how did I not like you know rip my face or something like how did I not like Rub against like I don't know what happened, but I'll never forget that memory I'm I'm not gonna call you out for laughing at your own story because it was such a pure memory Oh, I laughed it was such a pure memory and I enjoyed that moment - No, you're right. I'm checkmate. I'm outta here. - Sorry Amanda, you gotta go. - I forgot. - See, I grew up, I had two cats when I was first. - Dude, just make me laugh. Just make me laugh. - What the fuck, Olivia? - Make me fucking laugh. - I can't even think about what to say to make you laugh. - I think Olivia, I have to let things just like settle for a bit. - It's been three years since I've seen it. - I never say jokes that make you laugh. - Yeah, you do. - What's a joke that I've said that's made you laugh? Is there one that you can think of like from the past? - Oh, I thought of one, but then it's a joke that I said to you that made you laugh. - Oh, so you said that made me laugh. Courtney and I were laughing at, okay, now I'm back to Claire. - Recently. - Oh yeah. - That might be my favorite. I mean, you're first ever TNTL joke for me. Still makes me laugh, Martin score crazy. - Oh yeah, that's so stupid. - Now I'm back to Claire is such a classic. - Yeah, I've got like three that are good and probably like 997 that aren't. - 'Cause so many that are good. - But it's fine, bro, 'cause it's like baseball. You know what, I got a home run that one time and we won the game. - That's a matter. - That is very true. That is extremely true. - Oh, Claire, I was pretending to be, I forget now what they're called, but I'm gonna call them like Wolf. - That was my phone that just fell off. - You were like turning into a werewolf. You're like turning into a werewolf and then you like revert back to-- - Revert back. - I've seen videos online of people who pretend to be animals and then they formed their own little packs in the woods. It is such Midwest. - Oh my god, I love that joke. - Yeah, where you're a werewolf. - But how genuinely when you come back and you look at us, you go, okay, now I'm back to Claire and it was so good. - I still-- - Yeah, I tried to take the mindset of someone who was in charge. Like the lead, I would say like partner of the alpha male. I was like the alpha, I guess female would be that character. - Yeah. - How did you say it, can you do it again? - I couldn't do the bit. - I can't do that. - Do the entire bit. - Or do the banjo one, we're seeing by down the-- - Okay, Livy is making herself laugh here. I'm so happy. - I think she got herself. - Oh, now that, okay, now we're-- Whoa, we finally got, it's the boys. - Yeah, so this, this, this all happened. - We were in LAX, nobody asked for it. - Doin, SEX. - Okay. - All right, he just came right back where he left off. - Do you guys wanna go back to talk about me having sex with an old woman in the LAX? - I didn't know that was even that topic. - You've done that? - I know, but it was a joke. - It does make me think about, what does me, what does me having sex with an old woman in LAX remind me of? - It makes me think about whenever I'm at the airport and the thing I clock every time I'm at the airport and especially when I'm there at like five or six a.m, there's always someone there with a full drink. - Oh yeah. - And I'm always like damn, I always like real, and I'm like whoa, like you're. - Wait, is that a loophole, if I open a bar in LA, but I claim that it's like a private airport? - Oh, you could have it open 24/7. - Can I kiss just like, oh, this is just where you're open 24/7, but they just, they serve alcohol like kind of all the time at airports. - Yeah, me. - I was looking in the general direction of everything. - No, I'm actually looking past you at Scott who's going like this. - Scott knows, Scott knows. - Scott knows, like hell yeah. - The crazy thing is like in the airport lounges, the alcohol is free, and it is open bar. - I don't, I don't think I've ever had alcohol in a lounge. - I haven't, but I like, look, I like a drink, but I think airports, I don't understand why they make it so available, because you're about to get on a flight for five hours and be stuck in a tube with a bunch of other people for. - Well, that's what gives us all the great. - Tiktok. - Oh my God, man. Anyways, well. What do you think, what kind of freak out do you think you'll get canceled for? - What? - I think the airport freakouts or like, do you think it's gonna be like a kid walking on your lawn? And you're like, I don't have a lawn, so I don't have to worry about it. - But I'm saying like in the future. - I am a man. I was in the car with Keith, and he almost crashed into us, obviously doing something wrong, and he got out the car acting like he was going to fight us, and this is the issue is I will gladly join in. So like, I had my window down, we're laughing at him, we're like making faces and stuff, and he starts making faces. - You're making faces, Adam? - 'Cause he got out his car like you're going to fight us. - Yes, I was like, what are you gonna do? What are you gonna do? You're gonna come fight us? That's what you're gonna do? So he starts coming over, like he's gonna fight us, so I roll up my window, and then he just gets mad at you. - He almost hit you, almost hit you. - I almost hit us. I mean, interesting stuff. - And it was his fault. - It was 100% his fault. - Holy his fault, like, he almost teabones you. - And then he made faces at him. - Yes, I did. - I mean, Adam, see, if I nearly hit someone, and I get out, and they're laughing, I'm like, okay, good, I'm fine, I'm gonna get in my car and get out of here. 'Cause that was my fault. - Yeah, but when somebody's angry, and then you laugh at their face, it just makes them. - It's devastating. - It's devastating. - Like, there was a guy. - It's devastating. - There was a guy that was tailgating me super hard, and we were going through like a residential street. I stopped at a, there's like multiple stop signs down this road, and every time I'm making sure I do a nice, full and complete stop for this dick bag. And then, got a complete stop for that dick. - Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. - Got to. - Otherwise, I'm just blowing straight through 'em. - Mm-hmm. - That's a joke. And so. - Say it to the joke when it's a joke. - It helps us, it helps us know. (laughing) - So I come to the stop, and then he decides, he's gonna just blow through the stop, like go into the opposing traffic, go through the stop sign. And me being like a little petty, was like, well, I'm just gonna accelerate and not let 'em in. - Love it. - Love it. - And then, and then of course I let 'em in, 'cause he was insane, and then I like blare my horn, and then he stops the car in the middle of the road, and then gets out of his car, and he starts yelling at me. And I'm just like, and I'm just kind of like laughing at 'em, and he's just getting more and more angry. And then like after like two minutes of him yelling, I auto my windows up, and I was playing music, and I wasn't gonna stop my music for this guy. And then like after two minutes, I was just like, I can't hear you. - Diva. - Wow. - That's awesome. - And then, and then he just got really, really mad, and then he tried to walk towards my car, and then I just reversed my car a little bit. It was very fun. - This is like literally episode one of beef. - Yeah. - Yes. - Oh, she's right. Olivia is correct, this is like, it's the one of so many beef. - Yeah. - Well, it was based off of my life. - I, it was based off of my life. - I'm very scared. - Really? - Oh, well, in LA. - LA. - Road rage happens literally every day. - Oh yeah. - I see, I'm very scared of LA drivers, 'cause I'm like, I don't want to piss people off, 'cause I don't know who you are, but I'm thinking if I end up in a situation like that, where someone's next to me, and they're like, trying to yell or whatever, I think what I'm gonna do is like try to be like, I'm gonna try to confuse them. - Okay. - As opposed to like being like, I can't hear you or laughing at them or yelling back, I'm just gonna make them think that maybe, like they're in the simulation a little bit, so I'm gonna give them a little bit of just kind of like, and like, try to have my head spin 360. And then, you know, just give them a weird look, you know? - Yeah. - It's kind of, or like. - I always wondered like, if like playing, if like playing like a crazy act, if somebody's like about, it was like about to mug you, and then you just act like absolutely insane, if that would work on them. - Like, in my own experience, it wasn't insanity, it was just trying to be like a little, I can only describe it's like a chihuahuao. That's how I was in a chihuahuao. - Chihuahuao. - Yes, like a chihuahuao. - Chihuahuao. - Sorry, you got robbed. - Chihuahuao. - Chihuahuao. - No, I wasn't robbed, I was in a car accident, long story short, I can't give all the details currently, but this person was realistically under the influence, and threatened to beat me up, and leave me there on the side of the road. I got laced like after, 'cause my glasses were lost in the accident, and I was like, oh, if someone were to just nearly end my life, I literally could not identify them. And so, yeah, but it was one of those, and so I had like no percent on my phone, maybe like two, three percent, so I just acted like I was filming the whole time, and just was yelling. - Wow. - Use out, use out crazy to them. - Yes, but by just trying to be loud, and like, you know, backup, like you said, you're gonna hit me, I rewatched it. I thought I was like, wow, I really stood up for myself at rewatching situations like that. I mean, never, I would never release it publicly, 'cause you sound, I mean, my girlfriend couldn't love me anymore if she saw this. I'm saying, I'm like, you sir, you tried to hit me, sir, you hit me with your car, and you threatened to beat me up, sir. - Yeah. - No, you backup. You backup, sir. - Oh, you backup, sir. - I mean, so quickly, so quickly. It was, it's so embarrassing. - Okay, Selena has it been 69 minutes. - Oh, you had something planned for 69. - Perfect, it's official. - Is that the only one? You had one queued up, a single- - No, no, no. - Us, you had a single fart, queued up. - I'm gonna take my seat. - That's the end. - I'm gonna be my fan. - In Olivia. - The rap. - Good luck, good guy. - Good luck. - Oh, really? - Okay, wow, thank you, Courtney, for ending it on a fart note. Guys, we have talked about so much wild things. - Not enough. - It has been amazing, and also a fever dream. And Noah, that story was very, very funny. - I enjoyed every moment with you guys. - Thank you for being here. Noah, Ian, Olivia, Sway. - What did me and said Ian? - Ian, Olivia, Noah, Courtney, and Sean. - Now I'm like afraid of laugh. Can I laugh now? You can laugh. This was you laugh you leave. Part two. Thanks guys for talking about everything wild. And what we want to really know is, where are the grandparents? Think about it. Where are they? Where are they? Porking. Because if they had a child, it would be half. Okay everyone come in, everyone come in. Okay everyone. It would be half sibling and it would be really awkward. Guys let us know if you want a version three. Guys draw some fanfics, send us fanfics, a fan art of the grandparents, Porking. Oh my god. You can send it directly to Amanda's email. It is Mommy, Dommie, 69 at AOL.com. Okay. All right guys. We love you all. Thank you guys. Bye guys. Bye.