#145 - The Perfect Episode w/ Miles Bonsignore

Hi, welcome to Smoshmouth. I'm Shane and I'm Amanda and we have one of my favorite guests ever. It's Miles Bonsinger in the North. What are your friends that you don't know how to say it? Yeah, wow. I don't know how to say anyone's name. No, that's a thing. I don't even know really how to say it. Okay. Okay. What is it? Bonsignor? Well, okay. Bonsignor. Bonsignor. If you like that, you're going to put it full sauce. Yeah, full sauce. Full sauce, full red sauce, marinara. Okay. Or it's Bonsignor. Bonsignor. Bonsignor is more of the chicken Parmesan version. Exactly correct. The all of garden version. The chicken cutlet Rochester, New York style. Bonsignor. You guys know Miles Shane and I were on his podcast and then I was recently on it. Perfect person. One of my favorite podcasts ever. What you do with a soundboard is absolutely genius. So we decided to have our own soundboard. Oh, it's doing it's back there. Oh, so it's Selena. And so that's the so I've been hitting this one for a second. Wow. Wow. That's a dump fart. Okay. It's just. Oh, yeah, that's earlier today when we were before we were coming to do this episode. Yeah, you were saying to the entire crew. You were like guys. We got a soundboard for this episode. And I was like meanwhile. Yeah. You knew it was you. Yeah. Okay. That's good. Uh-oh. Uh-oh. Oh, by the way, you had to look at the monitor and then see which one I was actually touching wrong. It was a big delay. A soundboard with a huge delay. It's probably funny. It was like checking your notes. Oh, which one are you pointing to? Okay. His fingers are so monstrous. We're sorry about that. Big meaty finger. Okay. Well, that fart was wet. I love this soundboard. I am actually laughing at the idea of a soundboard that has a randomized delay. Yeah. So you press it and you're like it's anywhere from one second to 30 minutes anytime. And so then you continue the podcast and randomly the video just like you're like oh shit. I forgot. I pressed that forever ago. So many wet parts you guys. Yeah. Let's get a clean one. Okay. That was pretty good. Let's just all go around and do a wet part. I would kill for a really good fart machine. Have you ever seen the guy on TikTok who walks around like Central Park? Yes. Yes. And Farts. He used to all guy and he lifts his whole leg up to a whole jump. Believe it or not. But he has some wet ones. He's always real farts though. I don't know what no yell. He has a pocket every time. But he goes way too hard. Sometimes there's a group of girls and they're having a day off. They're ruining their fucking day. And he ruins their day. Yeah. That's pretty brutal. It's crazy. You guys ever use fart spray in the grocery store? No, but we I was not in I was not in this video. But around like six years ago they did a games video where they got the fart spray. And Courtney was telling me she's like that was the worst smell. I've ever smelled my life. She's like that was the worst shit ever. Yeah. So I've heard it's awful. I was a little boy in the in the grocery aisle in sort of the frozen aisle. And I just got a fart spray from some prank. How did you get that? I don't know. It feels like it should be a control. A guy with trench coats and was like, Hey, you want some fart spray? Yeah. Come on. Yeah. It was his own fart. No, but it was really I found a way to bottle my farts. But I was in the frozen island. Just remember like spraying it and then running away and like peeking around the corner and an old woman was just like. And she dies. She just died. I saw a video of a guy. You know those big inflatable like dinosaur costumes you can wear. Yes. Or that they've got the internal fan going. I've watched a video where someone walks up to a guy. Oh, he does the fart spray. And you see the guy like dancing in the T-Rex gun. And you're just like, Oh, I've seen a montage of those incredible. A montage of people in inflatable. They're getting fart spray spray. They're like trying to get out of this. They're trying to get out of the fish. It's so good. It must be horrible. Yeah. Does it not because fart smell bad, but they're not like life ending. But this fart spray must be so bad. It's pretty concentrated. Oh, God. It feels like like those jackass times when they put like a frickin porter potty. Oh, yeah. And they launch it all around. It's just it's a why did he say yes to that? Well, he made a lot of money. Yeah, yeah. Do you ever do like a prank show like that? Where I get pranked for how much money? By the way, I was about to react and be like, no, I would never do that. But for try guys, I was like in my underwear in the cheesecake factory with body paint clothes on. Oh, jeez. Oh, my God. Why? Yeah, because they told me to. Oh, yeah. Yeah. Miles. Miles is trying guys as well. But I was like, but I, yeah, it was just they were like, well, we didn't think any of the other cast members were going to do it. Like, do you want to do it? I was like, yeah, how is it say about miles? And I'm brave. And I mean, bravery is a choice that everyone should be involved with. Really good. But no, we were in our and then we like went and then the problem was after we sat when I stood up, like my sweat line had wiped away the layer of the glow thing. And so then the security guard did tell us the life. And the security was like, now you're naked. Yeah. Oh, he knew that it was body paint. That's right. And I went home. Wait, body paint. It was body paint. Like body paint. Everything. Everything except my underwear. Not my penis. You know, my penis is out. I genuinely love you. Hey, man, your tie. Your tie is a little long. Cash is the same that I like him. They painted it up blue sky. And it's just like a bird. So here's how I became a felon. Yeah. I tried committing crimes. Exposed myself with a cheesecake factory. Kind of crazy. But what's else is on the docker for that? We try to get on every list we can. I thought you committed that hard. Oh, my people. They don't think that they could paint that away. Yeah. I'm asking now. It would be part of the the. Like Peter from Hunger Games. Oh, my God. What a perfect painter. Exactly. Peter, your penis is out. It's bark. That's actually bark. That's the, that's the under unrated version. Seeing Peter's penis. You're wood. No, it's bark. It's bark. It's bark. I'm not here right now. When I saw that movie in theaters, I did laugh out loud in that part. You were about to like to be clear. I left out loud. I'm sorry. I want to ask, what is the most insane thing you have done in a YouTube video? Oh, God. Oh, my God. Does that make you think about that? Most of them are from the target series, Candid Competition, where we like basically pit brands against each other. But that's not even what the real videos are. And to be short, we were nude in a chasing factory. That's one. I had to dress up in Goth makeup and push around a fake baby stroller that had Zach and a baby's bonnet inside of it. How big was this stroller? It was a covert stroller that they built to hide Zach inside of. And basically, the premise was I have to feed him like all of Garden in a thing so they didn't know that he was eating the food. None of it, maybe. That's a good question. And that's a question that I don't have the answer to. Oh, my God. Yeah, we did that. That's incredible. That's incredible. Just me as Goth is part of the brand of this poll. That's crazy. So you guys do a lot. You guys did a lot of public stuff. That show was a lot of public stuff. Yeah. Like that was also like I had to break up with Zach and Goth makeup. And we did best restaurant to break up. But I'm in Goth makeup and then Zach is supposed to be like my lover. This is a separate occasion where you're in Goth makeup. Yes. What is actually occurring? I like like Zach and Keith are like, okay. So maybe you're in, maybe you're in like Goth makeup. No, literally. This all began because the premise was like I had to have a GoPro choker on. They were like, okay, so I was shooting all the videos at one point. I tried guys, right? And for those who don't know that. Hey. Hey. The idea was, how do we get a GoPro on a miles? We need to get a GoPro on because we're covertly filming in these places where we're like, you know, doing various shenanigans. So the idea was, what if I have a GoPro necklace or choker? So then we're like, well, if it's big and bulky on Miles' neck, then we could stud the collar. But if he's wearing a studded collar, it's not going to blend in unless he's Goth. So then-- I get it. Now I'm totally got to it. You actually don't notice that I'm wearing a weird necklace because I'm-- Okay. Whoa. So that was a good camera angle? Perfect. Okay. It's lawless camera angle. Yeah. It's definitely like my chain. And then when we're filming, I'd walk around and be like, like, trying to kind of get-- That Goth has extremely good posture. Yeah. Me too good. Oh my god. What's the craziest thing that you've ever done for a YouTube video? So something that was pretty crazy on Mythical Kitchen forever ago. Josh made me eat an entire tarantula. Oh. It was dead. But it was a full tarantula. Oh my god. And he and I both had to pop out an entire one in our mouths. Nope. That was nuts. I didn't know what we were doing when I did the video. Nope. And that happened. And that was crazy. Nope. However though I think back on like Smosh and like, we were doing some weird shit in those early years. Like 2015, 2016. Because that's back in the era where we would do stuff in public. And at one point they dressed me up fully as Nicholas Cage. Like, prosthetic makeup where like I had a fake hairline, like all this shit. And they had me run around Comic Con and just like interview people. And everybody hated me. Nobody wanted to talk to me. Also Nick Cage. I don't see that. You know? Yeah. Well I got into character. Oh. Which Nick Cage. Which Nick Cage. I don't know. It wasn't as much of a cage face. It's like I would. I haven't worked on the impression of like, fucking me. Yeah, okay. Just show it to us. But it would just be like, okay, so we're here. It's pretty good. Yeah. to it and I would just run, run around. Selena. - Oh, whoa. - Thanks. (laughing) - You know what you could say, but when you have to go, hey, and excuse me. - Oh, Selena. - Oh, Selena, all right. That's a really good Nikkei. - Thank you, that was good. - I did a lot of stuff like that. I really hated going out in public and messing with people, and we didn't do it a lot. - I was gonna say that to this channel. - But I hate it. - We also had a sketch early on that I pitched, where I played a ghost and I was basically fully naked. - And they painted me fully white. - What? - I was just painted fully white. - Were you in your underwear? - I was in underwear and I was painted fully white. - I was actually naked so often in early videos. - When I go into try guys now, I just know I have to wear good underwear. - Yeah. - Wow, guys. - Because I know that. - No, here's the thing, try guys. I have not done much there, but when I go there, I'm like, oh right, this place is crazy. 'Cause we did trial by trolley. And I was like, okay, we're gonna go. Let me watch one of these previous episodes. And I'm watching, I'm watching Grant Suck on Keith's toes. And I was like, oh my god. - I thought that too. I was like, hey, when we first sat in there, I was like, so Zach, I'm not sure about Shane and I going to that level of like sucking toes. He's like, oh, no, no, no, I'm not gonna have you. - No, no. He's still put us in some crazy positions. I was like, okay. He was like, oh, look, I'm not gonna tell you what happens, but I'm gonna tell you one of the things. They're like, we're gonna have you guys blind rink, you're 10 favorite YouTubers. And I was like, I know where this is. - And they're all canceled, dude. - And this and it, I was like, you guys are putting us in a very good way. - Ned was on there for sure. - Oh, for sure. - Yeah, he's got to be. - He's got to be. - He's one of the best. - Yeah, I was shocked. I was shocked. - Yeah. - But no, I was like, oh right, you guys are crazy over here. - Yeah, yeah. - They're not. - You are. - Well, I was shenanigans. They put me in a dunk tank for one of the, for the, I wanna get a dunk tank. Oh, I know, I've got a dunk tank for Smosh. - It was, what is it like? - Well, I was terrified because I felt like, the dunk tank was not built for somebody. - I was going to say. - So I was like, if I do this wrong, my legs are gonna snap on the bottom of the tank. - Oh, of course. - 'Cause I'm like falling, but then the water's not that deep. - Yeah. - So it's like, I was worried I was gonna get-- - Do you have those worries that when you dive, you're gonna dive and like, you know, just hit your head and break it all? - Well, I'm not diving in like four foot water. - Oh, what? - You don't have life on the edge. - Sorry, what are you saying? - She's worried I'm gonna break my spine dive. - As tall people, when you dive, I think about it all the time. - You dive a lot? - Yes. - And anybody-- - Any chance I can get? - Anybody can hop up. I'm diving. - No way. - Cool, I'm diving. - Whoa, whistle blown. - Post-help pull. - I'm diving. - Path-up, you know I'm diving. - Boil it, I'm diving. - You've got to dive into the toilet. - Yeah, after you're done. - Has anyone talked about how big these mugs are? - Yeah, so these are new and how I like to do it, 'cause I like to go like this, grip the whole thing. - Whoa. ♪ Best part of waking up ♪ ♪ It's Folger's India ♪ - Have you guys seen that one where there's the brother of the famousist? So, what? - I learned a bunch of lore about this. We talked about this a few weeks ago. - Yeah, really. - We were talking about, the Folger's commercial is so fun. There's a Folger's commercial from the '90s. - Oh, I know. - We're actually from like the 2000s. - I know it. - And it's a brother and sister. And they're weirdly horny for each other. Did you know that on the internet, there is thousands upon thousands of fanfics about it? - Oh. - And there is a series. It has an expanded universe. - What? - And it is crazy. I didn't read them, but I looked at all the tags for it and I was like, oh my God, they hit every sexual category. And they were like, wow. They have them doing everything. - What an interesting fodder for a fan. - I was like, what the fuck? - Imagine being that actor you work one day. - One day. - You're like $200. - You film for probably three hours on that day. You're just like, all right, yeah, sweet. Like, I'm gonna get some residuals from this. 20 years later, you're like, yep, I'm the, I'm part of that. - I'm the horny brother. - It's me. - All right, it's me, horny sister. - Hey, yeah, I'm horny sister. I'm here for the Folger's. - How did that, how did the people at Folger's watch that commercial were like, this is perfect? - 'Cause they were super horny, man. - Yeah. - I've been saying this for years. - Folger's people are horny as hell. - You're so horny, man. - It is so horny. - It is so horny, man. - Okay, coffee. - And you're a coffee guy. - I'm a coffee guy, I like coffee. - You sell coffee. - I sell coffee. - You sell coffee? - Perfect person coffee. - Yeah, perfect person coffee. - Oh, it's a little coffee thing. It's these guys that I worked at a coffee shop with in New York, and then they just continued roasting, and then they do the fulfillment and stuff for the coffee. How many types of roasts do you have? - That's a really good question. We actually have two types of coffee. - Let me guess, dark and light. - Well, no, we are the-- - Darkness and lightness. - Darkness and lightness. King and Yon. - King and Yon. - King and Yon. - King and Yon. - But no, they're two light roasted single origin coffees. So you don't really like dark roasts, though, is because if you dark roast them, then you're kind of roasting some-- - Yeah. - Ooh, tingles. - Stingles. - Stingles. - Two tingles. (laughing) - Two tingles, and two tingles. - You messed up. - You messed up, and I was gonna let you out. - Yeah, you got that guy from Majora's Mask, is there? - Okay. - Okay. - Now he's gonna go to Majora's Mask, and we're eating in this episode. - Um. (clears throat) (laughing) - That was so hard. - Thanks. - Thanks. - Um, that's fantastic. I fucking love coffee. - I fucking love coffee. - I sing single origin. - Yeah, Bruce style, what do we-- - Yeah, I do, I have my Chemex pour over. - I have my Chemex pour over a lot of time. - I'm doing that puppy as well. - Do you-- - So, you can talk about, they're like, oh, not the Chemex. You got to do a V60 or whatever. How different are-- - What? - It's a good question. Now I'm glad you brought me here to discuss this. - Hey, good. - The Chemex is gonna be good. If you want a brew coffee for two people. - Oh, okay. - Yeah. - Uh-oh. - Uh-oh. - What if it's just for me, but I drink a lot of coffee? - Then you want to bring one Chemex to the party. But I have, I sometimes I'll go V16 in the afternoon. Basically, there's a two different conical brew methods. - Look at him. - Yeah. - And the V60's sort of a vase type shit. - Wow. - And a, you know-- - Waste a vase. - Oh, wow. - How would you say? - Vase. - Vase. - Vase? By the way, nothing makes my bones shiver. Like someone's saying, "Vase." - Woof. - Vase. - Hey, can you get the vase? - Yeah. - That's bummer. - Buh. - Isn't that the rock? Isn't the fa sound from the rock? - I thought it was-- - Buh. - I thought it was-- - Damn, is it not like-- - I'd be the rock. - I didn't know. - That killed me. - What do you think the rock has for coffee in the morning? - Oh, he just takes his fucking bullets. (laughing) - He puts coffee in a gun. And he just goes-- - Put so gun in his mouth and blows the coffee into his face. - I should point out at this stage for those listening and watching that it is 5 p.m. We have been filming videos all day. We had a 7.30 a.m. call time today. - Yeah. - We've been going all day so we are a little loose. (laughing) - Okay, so you have a Chemics and a V60? - Yeah, so that's your two brew methods. - Well, yeah, now I'm also cooking up a, I mean, I kind of rock with it. I have an espresso machine, but whoa. - It is sort of a chore to use. - Yeah. - And so you kind of got to warm it up and you got to get in there and get your hands dirty. - It's one shot. - And it's just one shot. So usually I'll do that for a special occasion if I have people over or something. - Oh, cute. - I'll bust that up. - Cool. - That's really cute. - That's what it asks. - Oh, it doesn't live on the couch. - Do you ever use a mocha pot? You know what, mocha pots are cool and I don't use them, but I won't. - Yeah. - Do you have one? - I do have a tiny little one. I never use it. Cause the way to that, people have told me like, here's how you should use a mocha pot. - Yeah. - It's actually kind of like complicated. - Yeah. - So a mocha pot, so it's a little like, they look like a little tea kettle and you put them on the stove. They're always stainless steel. - Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. - And you fill the bottom with water. - Yep, yep, yep. And then it is in a kind of like Turkish coffee vibe. - It's an upside down espresso machine, but instead of using a boiler, it uses the power of steam. - Yeah. - I am turned on. - You're going to go, I am turned off. - Read that slowly. - So picture this. Okay, Amanda, picture boiling water and it goes, (mimicking sound) and then it goes through the coffee and then it swoops out espresso. So the egg has hit the landing. - Oh, oh, oh, oh. - Oh, you gotta keep doing them. You gotta keep doing them. - I'm slinna. - Bruh, bruh, bruh, bruh. - Bruh, bruh, bruh. - Bruh, bruh, bruh. - Oh, oh, oh, you have to go all the way over there and get that. - Let's see, I really would love to. Hang on guys. Can you hand, can you? - And while you're doing it. - Well, there's a lot of crazy stuff that you. - Selena. - Oh, fart nose. - Oh. - fart nose. - fart nose. But anyway, a mocha pot is cool. You're never using yours? - I don't use my mocha pot. I don't have a spot. - I really have a spot. - I love your pot, guys. I only have espresso when I go to a coffee shop. - Do you wanna hit one? - Okay, fine. - Do you wanna hit this? - Hey, dude. - You wanna hit this? (laughing) - Yo, dude. - Bruh. (laughing) - Bruh. (laughing) - Bruh. - That was just, that's fart noseay. - Fart noseay. - Fartnose. - Whoa. - What the? - Fartnose. - He's got a fart nose, you know what I'm saying? - Can you rearrange them and hold on, hold on, Slita. - Bruh, bruh, bruh, bruh, bruh, bruh, bruh, bruh, bruh, bruh, bruh, bruh, bruh, bruh, bruh, bruh - She hated that she decided to do this, are you looking for the eye? - Okay, so mocapot, pretty cool. - What happens if I do this, uh oh. - Let me see, art noise. - Oh, it's a French man laughing. - That's actually deeply offensive. (laughing) - It's so fucked up. Oh my God. - Okay, coffee, you're really into coffee. Also, you were just on Will You Be Mine. - Yeah. - Oh yeah. - On the fully improvised dating show on the main channel of Smosh, and it was such an honor and privilege to do it with you. - It was so fun. - We were drivers in a reality dating show, and it was very unplanned, but Miles and I, we found love as drivers. I was a, I was a Honeywagon driver where I suck out poop from Porter Potties, and that's an, honestly, that job is incredible. - But I would say-- - That's serious. - More notoriously, you just had really greasy hair. - I had, hey, it was leaving conditioner unwashed. So I put that wig on and I went, wow, this wig is amazing, but what does this look like? And I put my ears back and they naturally did this, and I was like, there she is. There she is. - You found her in the ears. - I found her in the ears because she's so earnest that her little ears are, of course, like this. - Yeah. - She's hearing everything. - She tilted forward, so you can hear better. - It's support, and you. - Yeah, I played Junior Officer Damien Bradley, Suzanne, driving an armored car from one bank to another in Unlong Island. - Yeah, my favorite line of that whole thing is we went, "Mom, come home." (laughing) - That was so fun, by the way. - That was so fun. - I get it done that forever. - We did it. - It was such a joy. - Me too, it was so fun. It didn't seem will you be mine, you need to watch it. - Yeah, people don't. Everyone is so funny. And by the way, hey, plug for Smosh Membership. I did it so I could see the outticks. - Oh yeah, he got Smosh Membership. We didn't give it to him so he could see the outticks. - He got a Smosh Membership. - I did, man. - He asked us and we said, no. - Oh, absolutely not. 'Cause I was like, I had so much fun and I was like, I want to watch the times when like, chance falls and we all cannot keep it together. Like, that was so funny. - Well, what are the outticks like 'cause I have not seen them? - They're unbelievable. - It's great. It's like chance falling and it's fucking everybody else. - I remember breaking so much. - Yeah, it was a joy. - Sam and set was like, okay, I love all the breaking but like, we're actually not getting the take at all. - He got to move on. - He got to move on. Please. - Oh my god. Anyways. - I feel incredible. - I feel like I'm burning calories. - Yeah. - During recording though. - By the way, do you wanna see what's in my pocket? - Oh, right. - Oh my god. - We were talking about what's in your pocket. - Well, so. - Wait, wait, we asked what's in your pocket. - You're gonna be disappointed. Now, I just want a preface. - No. But I do have a bunch of stuff in my pocket. - You have a bunch of, can you name how many items you have in your pocket? - Let me think here. - How amazing. - It's crazy that you have so many items in your pocket. - Well, it's actually not that many. - I only have four. - Oh god. - Do you have any interesting things in your pocket? - I don't think I have my phone, but then I have one thing that I carry on me at all times. In fact. - A gun. - It's his father's stopwatch. - A gun. I have a gun. - A gun. - And my father's stopwatch. - A gun. - And it's stopwatch. - No ramen. - When he died in the war. - Yeah. - Six sixteen a.m. - That's beautiful. - Wow, really? - No, I can tell you, honestly, you don't have to guess. I carry aquafore in, this is not a brand deal, by the way. I, for years now, have carried aquafore in all of my left pocket of every pair of pants, 'cause I always wanna have it on me. - He wants to be loose. - My lips can get chapped. - Do you keep that shit on you? - And so I keep that shit on me. - Do you put it anywhere else? - I, honestly, try to do. Why are you nodding like it's penis? - Like my dry penis. - Dude. - Yeah. - Sleena hit us with a, bruh. - Here's to the fair horn. - Bruh. (laughing) - (mimicking) - (mimicking) - We get, we get fucking copy right in by the circus. (laughing) - You cannot think that sounded actually. - Sorry. - Sorry, what it, what it's the fucking circus name? - Six, five. - Barter. - No, Barter. - Barterman Bailey. - Barterman Bailey. - Yeah, they did a great show. - They invited us, we've got you. - Please. - Okay, but, so I keep aquifor in my front left pocket in every single pair of pants. - Just really? - Wait, just kind of what happens is I keep buying it 'cause I'm like, oh, I can't find it. And I buy more and I put in my front left pocket. And then eventually I'm like, oh, I just realized I have one in all of my pairs of pants. - All of my pockets. - They're just already there. - Oh my. - So my pants are all folded. And then I pull them out. I'm like, there's already some chapstick in my pocket. - These are two or is it a tub? - A tub would be crazy. - No, it's a tub. - A tub would be psychologically fun. - There's a mini tub, like a mini tub. - I have like this one. - Oh yeah. - Or some that are like a chapstick of aquifor and some of them have SPF on them. - Whoa, in case you're on the slopes. - So in case you're on the fucking slopes. - You're skiing it out. - Yeah, 'cause the sun doesn't work unless it's cold. - That's right. - Yeah. - Your bounces off the sun. - Yeah. - Oh, that's off the snout. - So that's my pockets. - Now, Miles, you've got four things in your pockets. Now I'm gonna say phone and wallet. - Yeah, okay. That's correct. - I'm gonna say some type of kids toy. - No, that would be cool though. - That would be cool. - Okay. - Well, okay. - Keys. - Actually, you know what, I do have five things. - Okay, at five. - Nicotine. - Yeah. - Whoa. - No, I wish. (laughing) I wish I was that cool. - I wish I could, by the way, cold sprouted on this show. - Yeah, that would be cool. - That would be sick. - A tiny notebook. - No, that is fun though. - Ooh, that's a good one. - Okay, I got something at it. - Are you okay? - Notebooking in a regular notebook? Not. - Wait, first of all, what's happening in your hand? Second of all, what, what do you mean, journaling? - Yeah, like you do right on paper. - Yes, every single thing. - I try to write on paper every morning. - I'm not regular about it, but I-- - You do in your morning pages? - Yes. - Oh, kind of, they're like a short version of morning. I can, I don't have time to do three. - No. - One kid, you have two, like what are we doing here? - Good time. - I do like this much. - Yeah. - And it's talking about my nightmares. - You bet. - So it's like a dream journal. - It's like a dream journal. And then I'm also-- - Nightmare journal. - Nightmare log. - Nightmare, nightmare, nightmare. - Nightmare log. - The witch number two visited me again last week. - We eventually look at it and it's just, (laughing) - No, it's a flip page of a drawing of a witch like walking towards me. - It's just some scary-ass haunted shit. Do you have nightmares every night? - Not every night, but a lot of nights. - Most night? - You have some terrifying dreams. - I do. - Oh my god. - I'm lucky that I just don't really dream. - I do. - I was telling Shane that I had one where my sister was possessed, but she wasn't my sister. She wasn't my sister, but she was Megan Fox. She looked very hot. - Hey. - And she was down in the basement and she was possessed. - Oh, Megan Fox on my basement would be like. - Oh. (laughing) - Sleet it hit us with a bra. - Bra. - Bra. - Bra. - Bra. - Bra. - Bra for Megan Fox on the basement. - Megan Fox on my basement, am I right? - Oh. (singing) - Sleet it like I'm in hell. - I'm in hell. - I'm in hell. - Okay. - All right, so you have two other things in your pocket. - Not nicotine and not a mini note. - No. - Is it like a little tiny, like just like figurine, like a figurine, like I don't know. Like a little tiny collector. - Of the man you want to be. - Oh, that would be nice. - It's like a D&D of me in a suit. - Yeah. - No, it's not. - Okay. - It's a Army knife. - No, that would be cool. - Okay. - Bra brought a knife to this. - Yeah, I mean, hey, I do have a Leatherman. Not here though. - Cool. - Cool. - Jesus Christ. - Please don't talk about it. - He was not here. (laughing) - I don't think I fully know what that is. - Oh, you know, it's a tool. - Oh, is this a tool? Is it, is it what, uh, Brennan Lee Mulligan pulled out when he was on your show? - Yes. - And then Leatherman saw that glip and sent me another one. 'Cause they were like, "Yeah, man, we saw you have a Leatherman." - You want another Leatherman? And I was like, "Sure." Like, "Yo, we saw you have our Leatherman. "We're gonna hunt you for sports." - Yeah, yeah. - So the hunt is on. (laughing) - Let's talk about us on. - Wow. - Don't ever mention us. (laughing) - We're gonna send you another one. - That would be such a funny response from a brand. - G-D-M. - If aquafore commented underneath this video, be like, "Don't ever." - Get those out of your pants. - Keep that tail on your mouth. - Just off your mouth and keep us out of your mouth. (laughing) Okay, an extra sock. - What? - For what, Shane? - You run one, rub, rub. - Rub one out? - No. (laughing) - If you rub, if you-- - Oh God, we're gonna rub one out of one of your socks. - Oh, we're gonna rub one out. - I hate it. (laughing) - That's not what I was gonna say. People were gonna think we're high. - I thought it was. - It is. - What? - Art noise. - God. - Thanks, Selena. - Selena. - Thank, thanks, Selena. Yeah, please change it. - So how is this episode "Cookier Than Our Ants" episode? - You did an episode about ants? - We did an episode where we played our ants for 80 minutes. - Miles would actually love it. - Oh, I saw this in this game out, but I was more excited for you guys in antennas. Dressed as ants. - Oh, that's the next one. - That's actually really fun. - It's a great episode. - We're just talking shit about the hive. - The hive. - Yeah. - And the journey life back on the farm. - The journey to be here. - The ant farm is not doing well. - B-I-T. - What's in your pants? Wait, well, let's do it. - Damn, I don't have my sock, I can't do this. - You can't do bore? - You can't do bore? - I was hoping for something like. - Sweet! (laughing) - But that's a more being murdered. - Yeah. Well, we're running really fast you guys ever see a bore in the wild actually. Yes, really I grew up in Arizona We saw how there was a havelina in our Way we're just like whoa, there's a havelina running over there. Was it like don't go near that thing? Oh, yeah, that was running away. It was scared, but it's like you do not fuck with those. You know fuck with boards wild boars We'll kill you. Yes, of course they will. Oh, yeah, fuck you. Yeah, your Massachusetts wild boars. Yeah, it's crazy We also wild boars of Massachusetts. Really? No, I don't think so. No, not at all. I got excited. No, we have is mountain lions Really? Oh, yes, they're all over these. I'll never forget when a mountain lion was like very close and like the suburbs And there was a helicopter around my my hometown. I'm realizing this story. Who cares about it? No, we were hunting it with a helicopter. I saw him out. Get that mountain. Get that thing. We're gonna be able to see it from the sky Terrible, I think it's like I'm wicked tired. Yeah, I'm a mountain lion I saw a mountain lion in Arizona right behind my house. Mountain lion? Yeah, I was walking I was walking my dogs And I look out and I just see one sitting on the middle of the open just staring at me and and looking my dogs didn't even see it And I was like I'm gonna turn back now. That's quite one back home. It was huge. That's fucked up. It was terrifying Did you have aqua for in your pocket then? No, you could have sprayed it in his eye. I wasn't I couldn't have fixed it. Yeah, I could have thrown it at it You know what if I learned recently and look if someone listening if this is wrong I'm sorry, but I learned that there was an American cheetah until around like 15,000 years ago Okay Okay, I am interested in that long ago like there were cheetahs in America Until like roughly 10 to 15,000 years ago, and that's why the the pronghorn sheep is the second fastest animal in the world Oh, because they were all running just and they're all over and yeah, that that's why like they're so fucking fast They're they outrun everything in there. Yeah, there's no predator that can catch them nowadays But the reason that they're so fast is because there used to be cheetahs. What happened to the cheetahs? They probably went extinct 15,000 years ago. I think it was roughly like it was like over 10,000 years ago, but there are cheetahs now In America, but there was an American cheetah so right Where in America would they be? It would have been whatever pronghorn sheep are So like honestly in in New Mexico, Colorado, even parts of maybe California. I don't know Why do you think they went extinct? What's happening? Well, this is what it is You have one final guess. Oh shit. It looked Well, I'm gonna pretend I can't see it Is oh air air pods No, it's a huge air bud. No, I can't see the shape. It's it's it's oh oh is it mince? No, it holds your baby teeth That looks like Zins These episodes brought to you by Zin It's it's a little raspberry candy things. No, that is fun though. Yeah, is it edible? No, tiger balm No, tiger balm. Yeah, is it like some sort of sour muscles? No I'll give you a hint. He doesn't go on the ice. It's something I use on myself Oh god, this is a sock joke. I'm out. It's not. Hey, it's not a sock It's not lip balm. It's not a sort of is it for your skin? It's something you use on yourself. Okay, don't worry Oh, it's hair. It's a pommay. That's right. Oh my god It's pommay old spice paste. You carry paste. No, here's the deal. Okay. I had this in my car But then I was like if I get in there into the green room and then I'm like actually I'm having a hair moment I need to put this putty in my hair. We have stuff. I didn't know you guys had stuff. Oh, we got to tell you that miles That's crazy. We got stuff. You guys have stuff on why? Yeah, that's crazy. Oh, H. Yeah, that's right. And it's just an H It's just an eight forward. How could you not understand that we don't have that we have I get roasted for my hair Constantly you have really good hair. Well, it's not that I get roast. It's just that it's it's all over the place And I mess with my hair. It's definitely my like nervous. Not nervous thing. I like it But um, uh, yeah, I just feel like you have consistently amazing hair I'm gonna. Yeah, yeah, I feel like wow and it always you know what it is because I want my hair to look the same shape all the time My hair does not look the same. Oh, yeah, I feel like when I think of you I go good hair in the same really Yeah, I kind of agree. I mean sometimes you'll you'll be like talking and you'll do this and then it'll stick up But it doesn't look that bad. Okay. Yeah Doesn't look like total shit. Tell me out. Yeah, just looks kind of shitty. Yeah, let's see that Um, all right. Well, well, we got it We know there's four things in your pocket one more take them out And we didn't get it. I'm in love with this energy All right guys, well, we got it Your pocket guys come and don't know if we got it Oh, no, that needs to be a you Here's with soldier boy Tell you something real quick. Yeah So you guys filmed bit city and you film or you watched like sold the soldier boy dance. Yeah, yeah We didn't get clearance to to like show that so Emily asked me to recreate them You had to recreate the red boys songs. Yeah, can you give us a couple bars of that? No, no the dance the dance. Oh, oh, I thought you're gonna be like Thank you Oh, my god, that was an air that was tearing up the middle school dance. Oh, I loved it. Yeah, remember holiday in by chingy Yeah, that was crazy. Oh, that was a crazy moment. I loved that. Oh, I remember At a middle school dance while that song was playing Going outside and there was oh This girl who was about to slap this boy. Slap slap. Okay. Oh my god Jesus Christ. She was literally about to slap this boy Rock let's see what you're cooking I don't know okay girls about to slap this guy. Yeah, I just remember everyone cutting on being like whoa And she was like you better apologize and he was like I'm not gonna and then she just fucking slapped him And everyone was like and then she walked in and it was like Everyone was like Did she go in and immediately start dancing? Yeah, oh and he was outside and I just remember him going Sad he was upset and he was like I love her. Yeah, he was kind of a troubled kid. Oh Oh, that adds layers. Well, he kind of earned I whatever he did probably does you have good memories from middle school I feel like no, they were always so much pressure. Oh, they were awful. My god like what if I pop a B if I'm you dance Yeah, you know, that was a concern. Yeah, it's so funny. I didn't think about that at all I had a blast. I was like in the middle of the grind line just living it up I was like fun and back all grind it. Oh, yeah I would go in the bathroom and wet my hair and slick it back and I'd come out and I was like who's up So truly people who had tied me on the show to go you want to dance and I was like Sure, let's bring him to I would be like I would be like the longest grind line in the world. Oh my god. And our dances were always like in the dead of winter So it would be like you had to grind to keep war survival and bring him to us. Meanwhile, I'm in Arizona. It's hot as a fuck Nobody's nearly and all of our lunch ladies were like running it. We did it at an old veterans club It was called the Knights of Columbus Oh my god, and it was like a war vets hangout and they had they sold like candy and soda and it was all of our lunch ladies and we were like Yeah And the lunch ladies are like get it They were like you were good out there. Oh my god. I love my school dances. I was living it up. That's crazy I don't have a single good memory. No come on guys. I'm like I'm saying they were bad They were just not fun. They were awkward. I'm just standing off to the side just like okay What do you have to like go out there and I tried I would do that I remember dancing like a little bit, but me and my friends are remember we were like We were like obviously into girls. We're like super into it. Yeah, yeah, okay. Also. We're like Remember we had this thing and okay before you judge it Let me tell you what it is, but it was called the three-finger rule easy But it was be called three fingers because you we hit you were like instead of like holding her waist when you were dancing Yeah, you only Like a Martian I think it was like so that you're like actually dancing with them, but you're actually like a little bit far away from them So you're not really committing. Yeah, yeah, it was nobody was like it was peak like I'm afraid of this, but I want to do it. Oh, okay. Got it. I'm a little bit distant away from them three Martian style Yeah, I remember being like yeah, man three fingers. That's the rule. Oh god And if a teacher heard that they would be mortified and they think I sang about something. Yeah. Yeah, of course. No That's wild. I was never that close to a girl in middle school. Really? That's so funny You didn't have like a you didn't do a slow dance with the a bit of bay Oh love that. I don't think so. Love that. Okay. We'll have a zero bay slow dances. Oh my god Do you remember when you were like dancing a full-on grind line? Yeah, yeah, sorry, do you hear us? Did you hear what I said? When you're in the middle and the lunch ladies are getting in on a two and everyone's fucking. I'm joining it The warbets were there. I can't get enough of this. All the veterans are there and some candy And then a slow song came on and you were like, I guess I'm gonna dance with you. I'm sorry So you didn't dance with anybody? Let's go back to you. No No, no, don't worry about my paradise. Don't let it mess up your paradise. Who are you about your paradise? Oh it's gay And it's like you in between Sandwich and between two grind lines. No, I mean, well, I'm over by the wall. Just like I don't I don't know, uh, yeah. No, it's okay. I'm not saying like I'm like, oh, I was, uh, I was excluded. Like a lot of it was self-imposed. I was just too nervous and too anxious. Like I just was like, no. And girls did not go up to guys and was like, come here. You're dense. Like I'm absolutely, I was not really talking about that. I don't ever talk like I was like, I was friends with people. Like it was cool. But nobody came up and was like, I want to dance with you. Like really? No. I thought I was very awkward in my body. I mean, I obviously still am, but very much. You are? You aren't? I'm serious. And I think that you come off as awkward in your body. Because I don't feel that way at all. Definitely. It's I've had I've had over 20 years to improve from middle school. What? I've had much training since then. It's got these like ripped ass muscles, man. Yeah, you're sure. I literally, well, I hit an atrial. I was like, I got to work out or something. Wow. How many push it? Actually, this was a question I had. Oh, yeah. This is a good question. And I'm really glad we're talking about this. And it makes you really glad. Me too. So yesterday, by the way, I don't work out like at all. And I wish that was more physically fit. Yeah, your wife told me this. So she's talking about it. She's talking to you. She's like, god damn. Miles, he cannot work. No. But you have a peloton and he has not been I went on a yesterday. Oh, I'll tell her. Sorry. Okay. So you worked out. But the question was, so I was doing pushups, right? And I'm like, yeah, I can't do any fucking pushups. I did like, I did 10 pushups. Then I tried to do another set of 10 and I got like eight. So I was doing 18. I was like, actually, I feel good about you. You're doing 18. 18. So my question was, how many pushups can you do in a row? I don't know. Um, 600. Oh my god. And not probably. I don't know if it I haven't done a lot of pushups lately. Like, that's not the in my workout routine. Um, I can do it. I can probably, I like, I don't know, if I would do a safe estimate of like, somewhere between 30 and 40, maybe. But, uh, it's tough because, um, when I was like, when I was young, when I was like 14, 15, when I first started like working out, I could do a ton. Yeah. But I was super light. And what it's also probably challenging for you is your very tall. It's a much longer range of motion. So for me, you know, for me, shorter arms, it's not as that is tough. Um, you're having said, boy, you and your friend, you and your friend, it's getting hot in here. Get into your pushup contest. But that's okay. Let's stack on top of each other and do pushups. Um, but, uh, it's also like, as I was working out more in like gate, you gain muscle weight. Yeah. Then you can't do as many pushups because you gain more and that's more. Yeah. Wait. So it's kind of not always, but I think if you can do like 18 pushups in a row, that's great. No, totally. And I'm trying to just build on that. But I was like, it'd be so cool to be like, yeah, I could do 100 pushups. I bet you actually, I bet you actually, if you were like doing pushups on the regular and pushing yourself to do as much as you can, it wouldn't take you long enough. A hundred's a crazy amount doing a row, but you could, you could definitely get up to a big number. I think there's a SNL story or something where it was like, Alec Baldwin, ASP Davidson, what his workout routine was, and he was like a hundred pushups and a hundred sit-ups. And that was not true. And Alec Baldwin was like, you got it. And then the next time they stop. I thought it said bra. I thought someone would be there. But then he started to do it. He was like, yeah, that was became his routine. I was like, that's crazy. That's hilarious. That's the one punch man routine. That's 100 pushups, 100 sit-ups, uh, what 10, 10 kilometer runners. That's how we got to be one punch man. And then he became one point, like they truly felt like, wait, that's all you're doing. Like, um, anyways, uh, you should watch, you should, you should watch one punch man. I don't even heard of it. It's hilarious. I'm kind of heard of it. You actually, you should watch just one season, the first season of it. You would think it's so funny. What is it on? Uh, it's not a lot. It might be on like Netflix or something. Sorry, we're gonna segue to me telling you the premise of one punch man really quick. It's pretty good because so basically it's this guy. He's a superhero. Okay. And his name is one punch man because he can beat any foe with one punch. Whoa. And he's this guy who lives in Japan. He's a single dude and probably like his 30s. And he's the most depressed guy on the planet because he's so bored because all he does is just shows up and just goes like this and enemies just dilated powerful. And he's truly just so bored and having an existential crisis because he's just like, yeah, he gets just like, that's it. And so he's new villains and be like, like building up like how they're so powerful and then he'll just kill them with one punch. And he's truly like the most jaded like that does that. And he just lives in like a tiny studio apartment in Japan. He just kind of like just doing his thing not really caring about anything because nothing's animated. Yeah, it's an anime. It's really, really funny. Whoa. Yeah. That's an anime. That's an anime. Wow. For our audio listeners. It's true. Um, anyways. Wow. But no, uh, yeah, no middle school was was overall bad experience. To surmise. Oh, it's pretty known uh, among our Smosh fandom, but I was genuinely booed out of a dance circle. Oh. In middle school. And that it wasn't, you know, like horror. It's not like, oh, people were talking about it the next day, but in that dance itself, people were talking about it. No way. No. I was just doing some dances. I don't know. I think I tried to moonwalk or something. I was like not doing great. So I'm not going to try to dance genuinely. You know, I got to do like some sort of like, oh, it's a silly dance. Yeah, I remember. I'm middle school is just a time for humiliation. Like I was, oh, it's, I was in a basketball camp and I shot the ball into the wrong. I actually did that as well. You owned gold yourself. I owned myself. I owned it myself. It was humiliating. It's really tough. It's like my camp was playing another camp and then all a bleacher full of kids from the other camp last night. I truly, uh, no, middle school. I was like, I'm in a, after middle school, I was like, I need to move on to something easier. So I got into the entertainment. Yeah. Yeah. I skipped high school. I was like, I can't, no, I can't. So moved on to this shit. Wow. And here we are. And what else is in your pants? Because you didn't show us. Take it out. I'm talking about what's in your pocket. What else is in your pants? Take it out. And Miles, as your, as, as our guest, you got to show us what else is in your pants. No, hey, I've got a sock in case you get to credit it or whatever, whatever she said. No, instead in case you lose one of your socks is what I meant to say. Why? What in what world are you losing a sock? I don't know. I got my phone and then I have AirPods. And that's it. But you like said AirPods. Yeah, you know, you didn't made fun of me. No. Wow, he really took that to heart. You made fun of me. You made fun of me. You made fun of me, man. I said AirPods. You made fun of me. And I got my AirPods. Hello. That's all. That's it. There was nothing exciting. This is a segment born out of nothing. But you know what I'll say. We've done something with it. You know what, though, before we started, we heard that there might be something. I was just going to say. Really good segments. Selena, hit us with a really good segment. Yeah, you said you had conversation starters. She just, she just hits us with bra, bra. Which one do you want? You want a conversation to start? Do you want a segment? Oh, let's get a segment. Let's get a segment. Because basically, we're testing out segments on you. You're a guinea pig. I know that's what I was told. Or a guinea bore. Or guinea. Bore. That's great. Good. This one's called, it was originally called word of mouth. But oh, I pitched this one, right? Yeah. And then kind of was like, what about tongue tide? So vote below, which title you want better. But what's your favorite word or phrase that you're using or overusing currently? Okay. Word of mouth. What is your, are we using word of mouth? I like word of mouth. What about was my pitch? Word of mouth. This is Shane's pitch. What's your favorite word right now that you're using? Yeah. Or a word that you're using a lot lately. Or I like a word that you love. That was it. Really inspired. So yeah. Word of mouth. Amanda really loves this segment. So word of mouth. So we're going to try it. We're going to see another word. I love you to do a word that you, um, you're overusing. Okay. You know, yet I, you know, I think I say, what do I say? I probably say like, Oh, yeah, beautiful. Like nice. Not once heard you say that. Just hold a lot. I like it. You know, the guest says that you just go, I don't think that's true. Yeah. We just didn't know. Uh-oh. Not true. That's actually not right. True. Um, I feel like, yeah, I go like, Oh, yeah, sounds great. Yeah. Beautiful. Beautiful. Beautiful. But then I got worried that people were thinking that I was calling them beautiful. And what would be so wrong with that? Well, if it's somebody, I don't know that well. Really casually. Just be like, Oh, nice. You're really fucking hot. Yeah, yeah. Sorry. You're beautiful. Actually, it's like, Oh, weirdo. Like, what's your problem? Wait. Guys, here we go. People don't say that enough, man. Here we go. Guys. People don't say you're beautiful enough. Why? Why is the world afraid to go? No. No, seriously, I'm dead. And I know your wife would agree with me. Amanda turns into a manosphere pod. Yeah. You should be honest. You just take it as a compliment, man. Just take it as a compliment. If you're, if you're, if you're, if you're saying you're beautiful, take it. And it's awesome. Every time I move into colds, don't cram me. I go. Creamy? I go. You're beautiful. Now can I have a cold? No, I'm like a cold stone. When was the last time you got in stone cold? Holy shit. So much dead air. I kind of, I kind of like, because I feel like that stone cold. I guess I, there's someone else's essence or were you? Did you ask someone else this on one of your podcasts? Baby, what was it? It's stone cold. It's cold. No, I know. Why did you say it? - Oh, sorry, we're on a podcast. - That's why, yeah, we're not having fun anymore. - That's why there's dead air because I thought you made a mistake. - I was like, why did you ask me to do a fun way? Did you have fun? Why did you guys cold stone? Oh, was it still cold? We don't do that here. We don't have fun here. - Are you really asking? - I haven't been a cold stone creamer yet forever. I haven't had it in a long time. - I haven't had it since before I moved to LA. - Yeah, me neither. - I did, I ordered some, I ordered some pints of ice cream a few weeks ago. - What are we talking about? - You, I ordered a place called Handles. - Yes, Handles is so fun. - I had never had it before. Spencer talked about it and I was like, I got to try this. And I ordered, they had a banana cream pie ice cream. - Naughty. - And a one called Graham Central Station. - What? - And it was a Graham Cracker flavored ice cream with bits of Graham Cracker in it. - Uh-oh. - Or something else. And it was truly insane. I'm gonna show you more of a cream pie guy or a station guy. - I don't know, man, they're both so good. Honestly, I wish I could have gotten 'em as a combo. Crazy combo. - You could. - I know, but well, I had two different pints. How long did it take, 'cause I need to be honest, a couple weeks ago about this? - It takes me a while to, I'm good at stopping myself. - You're a one and done. - Bless me, brother. - Bless that I'm like, oh, I could take a pint down in one sitting. It's more than I'm like, I don't wanna take the pint down 'cause I want more for tomorrow. So like, I'm good at like kinda scooping up. Go ahead, he's a future man. - I get like a good four different sittings out of a pint. - Four. - Yeah. - I'm kinda with you. - I'm good at it. I'm like, good at self-restraint for it. Just 'cause I'm like, I want more tomorrow. I don't wanna run out of this fever. So I go, you know, back and forth. - So you're a psycho, huh? - I'm a psycho. I just am thinking that I'm a professional ice cream meter. - Oh well, we've had this debate of like desserts and ice creams number one. - I'm a professional creamer. And so when I go after it, what's the sock for, you know? - Yeah, yeah. - That's why I keep a sock on me. (laughing) - And he gets it, he gets it, got a cream. (laughing) - But anyway. - I have nowhere to go. - Oh, I kicked it. - He's over there talking about, he's bought the cream. - No, I don't have the cream. - I'm not here. - This is bra. - All right, and we don't have bra anymore. - I know. - Yeah, I'll fix it. - We ran out of bra. - Yeah, fix it. - You got a cold sore thing like, sorry, we're out of bra. - Okay, so you're a professional creamer, man. - I just eat a lot of ice cream and I, what I've been doing is, if I have a pint, that's probably like a two-sitter or maybe a three. - Okay. - If I were to stream myself. - Yeah, yeah, yeah. - But that's sitting, that's gonna hurt. - I mean, to be honest, I want to see you do two things. Take a whole pint of ice cream to the face and then do a hundred pushups. (laughing) - Oh! - Without throwing up. - Me just throwing up while doing pushups. (laughing) - Make me the grip, such as Asian! I'm gonna add a cream pie, fish. - Handles! - But I just have a lot of ice cream thoughts and that's one of them. - Yeah. - You got it. I mean, you just gotta enjoy your life, you know? And I'll say that one of the things I've been doing recently is a poor man's afogato, where you take. - Oh, afogatos are so fucking good. - That's probably the best ice cream thing to have. - Yeah, it's crazy. - But what I'll do is, you get a little vanilla ice cream. - Okay, you got a little vanilla ice cream. - Okay. - A little bit of, uh-oh, instant coffee. - What? - Sprinkle instant coffee. - Bice that! - Over vanilla ice cream and then a little bit of sea salt, a little bit of sea salt flakes. And then you've got, basically, you go and you get a little bit of the crunch of the instant coffee thing, but then it immediately becomes sweet and creamy by the ice cream and then it melts into, like, a poor man's afogato because you're adding, you're basically adding instant coffee to the thing. So it does a really good job of making a complex dessert at a something simple. But wait, are you, whoa! Are you putting hot liquid into the instant coffee to make? 'Cause an afogato has the full, like, liquid espresso. - Correct, that's why it's the poor man's afogato. - So it's like, basically, you just do the dust, but then in your mouth, it creates the coffee. - Interesting. - 'Cause like, an afogato melts that, but then it goes away. - Yeah. - It's just like doing two of them. - Kind of the melting, I kind of like it sometimes. Like, a little, like, fucked up part of me. - I don't like the melting part. - I, it's funny thing about an afogato. I didn't know what it was. Like, I would see it on, like, a cafe, like, I'd be like, oh, an afogato. And I would see, like, you know, Restreto, afogato, Americano, whatever. So one time I went to a coffee shop, it's luckily, like, 11 a.m. on, like, a Sunday. And I go, I'll get an afogato. What is, I didn't ask what it was. I didn't care. I was like, I'll get that. 'Cause I'm like, oh, I'll get a cortado or whatever. And I'm like, I'll get an afogato. And they bring me ice cream with espresso. And Courtney was like, oh, my God. And I was like, well, it's what I'm having. And I truly were like, walking around. I was just like, I got this discount. Great, yeah, yeah. Luckily was the perfect time. I wasn't driving anywhere. We were walking. I was like, this is awesome. Thank God you weren't driving. Oh, yeah. Driving after an afogato. Oh, cool. I'd have been in prison. Guys, I've taken a dipped cone to go in my car. Cool. What? I have, and it was a hot summer day. And boy, oh boy, is that thing leaking? That is awesome. I can't remember the last time I ordered a cone somewhere. Can. And I love cones. I just hate inconvenience. And I hate stuff getting on my hands. I hate you, but I love a cone. This thing about a dip cone is, if you get a dip cone in Los Angeles, you think you're going to be able to eat that thing slow. But you're really, when you get one bite in, the shell, once the shell cracks, it's like falling apart in front of your eyes. And you've got it. You've got it. And so I remember getting in me. Like, this is so nice. Dip cone I went. It was in my car, and I was like, you've got to go and go, oh, a little bite. And it was like, I have to eat this in the next 30 seconds. You've ordered it so fast. Everything is gone. It's horribly wrong. And so I had to. You're doing crowd control. You're like, I worked on that for probably 10 minutes. You were really, you really built that? I really built that. There wasn't a lot of letters. A fart. That's perfect. I wanted to sound like you were really far away. Is our sound bird, board working? Sound bird. To go back, I think the word that I am lately lately, is that the word? Oh my God. We forgot. We were in word of mouth. By the way. What? We went down an ice cream hole. So that we talked about so much. What was your word again? It was beautiful. Beautiful. Oh my God. Hey, baby. Baby. Yeah, my thing has been walking up to random women going, hey, baby, you're beautiful. Hey, baby, you're beautiful. Stay longer. Yeah. Stay longer. Stay longer, baby. I want you to come over here, check out me in my quib. Did you say stay longer, baby? Stay longer, baby. Stay longer, baby. Stay longer, baby. I think we're saying stay longer. Like Willie Wonka. Stay longer. Willie or won't he? Wonka edition. Jesus. Um. Um. Crazy. Who? What's the word? What's the word? Do you want to go? I can go. Hey. Don't point that gun at me. Um. Okay, so my word, uh, it's okay if there's not one. No, there definitely is. You know what word that I'm loving? Uh, I've been loving this for the past few months. Sonder. I have not heard you say that literally. Sonder. I don't say it a lot. There's not many opportunities to say Sonder. Yeah. Cause what does it mean? So Sonder is the kind of understanding that every person you see, every passerby, when you look at a crowd of all these people that every single individual has their own life and own experiences and is going through a whole day just like yours. And I know that sounds like, oh, everyone's like, yeah, it's obvious. But like it's the really like contemplating that and understanding that and, uh, how deep and intense that you break that while he was talking, I mean, it is currently breaking her mic. And for the first time, you're saying something like kind of heartfelt. I'm like, yeah, you don't really kind of opening up for the first time in this episode. Yeah. It's really nice. Break it. Yeah. So anyways, that's, um, that's probably the word that I think about a lot. Not lately. Um, so especially you. Yeah. That was back when I had a militant mustache, just going to say bold team have that be the graph. No, that's just Curtis Conner. Look. I just had to put a Curtis on. Yeah. We just put Curtis Conner on there. And, uh, it's you. Yeah. I like these. Yeah. Curtis Conner and Jenny Nicholson. Yeah. Just. That's a podcast. Yeah. Honestly. Yeah. No, but we got us. Amanda. Okay. Sonder. Very nice. I liked that story. Um, uh, minus. No lame. Oh, I really mean it. That was, yeah, brutal back in middle school. Yeah, dang. I meant it. Yeah. I thought that story was awesome. You, you. You were behind. Lunch, ladies. It's sloppy. Joe, too. Lunch, ladies. And you know what to do. Let's get sloppy. Let's, ladies. Let's get it. I hope you like them. Sloppy. Hey, I made them extra sloppy for you. If I, you just need to see the lunch, ladies, with a whole school watching. No, literally. And they're just like one kid throws up. He's like. All right. I want to go home. They all pick me up. And I'm just like. They have an assembly about the next day. They're like, I'm sure a lot of you have a lot of questions. So the incident about what was going on. The grind line that should have never happened. I'm sitting there with a principal like. Man, that's for it. In school suspended. You are suspended. Somehow a student gets in trouble. We thought the lunch, ladies, we're going to chaperone, but they had every intention to grind. (laughs) They needed help. Holy shit. The grinds. It might need it to be longer than it was. It was too short. - Oh God, oh God, oh God. - Anyways, that's my word. - Yeah, what's your word? - Sick? - That's sick. - Not, yeah, not. - I do say that a lot. - I do say that's sick. I'm like sick. - Yeah. - Sick. - Dude, sick. - Is it facetious or do you actually think stuff is sick? - I actually mean that it's sick. - Yeah. - Yeah. - Cool. - Do you sometimes say it facetiously? - Patitiously? - Patitiously. - You know what, I patitiously say sick. Sometimes I actually do, I'll be like sick. That's a joke. But I mean sick usually. - Cool. - But I don't text it because when I text it, it looks really dumb. - Really? - That's sick. - I text sick. - You what? - Yeah. - I feel like when someone says, oh yeah. - No, you text nice. - You go nice. - I do nice a lot, yeah. - Nice. - And I have to really tell myself that you're saying like nice. - Yeah. - Like nice. - Yeah, well, yeah. Sometimes somebody like, yeah, nice. - You look like you've been sobbing. - I have. (laughing) - Sick. - Yeah, I was thinking about. - You know, I said, "Sonderd," I was contemplating the lives of everyone. - Yeah. - And that's when you, so it's basically like, you're a part of a world where there's many different stories. - It's just like, oh my God, like, to think like, wow. Like, you drive past you to see like a person walking down the street. And you're just like, that person's like going through a whole day and has a whole life and a whole complicated story. - That's beautiful. - And it's really like, it's hard to, it's, we all have empathy, but like, it's hard to actually contemplate that it's like, oh, like, eight billion lives are being lived. - I've been having this feeling where like, so we've been making this like, late night food thing. - Yeah. - So basically, I interact with people at a restaurant like after hours, and it's really open. We interview them, like, people that are eating late night. And when I do that, it has opened up my vision of like, restaurants and also just late night culture to be like, oh, every single person has something very interesting about them, I just have to ask. - Yeah. - And you're like, you get a crowd of people and you're like, actually, like, I was originally not gonna talk to this person, but then I talked to them and they were like, just went through a breakup. And they actually have all these hopes and goals and aspirations. And it's been so rewarding in a song. - Exactly. - Exactly. - No, your show is fantastic. - Oh. - That's very nice. - You can see how many diners have you done now? - So we've done four, or no, so we've done eight episodes, and then a couple of them are maybe still releasing when this comes out. Diners, I think we've done three diners. - Oh, that's legit, but it's just 24/7 place. - It's 24/7, so we've done a couple donut shops. We did Tommy's burgers. - No. - We just went outside. We did one in San Francisco. We just went up there and did. That was like this cool restaurant of the Castro. - Are you walking up to these people and being like, hey, can I talk to you for a second? - Yeah, so usually we'll get now that we've been doing for a little bit, we like get the restaurant beyond board. And because we're usually inside. - Yeah, yeah. - First of all, we did like a donut shop that was outside, so it was like kind of a. - It was fun. It's like, we'll get the restaurant to be on board. We'll interview their staff and their owners if those people are interested. And then I go up to the people they're eating. And I usually say like, hey, how's it going? Like we're shooting a show called Graveyard Shifts about people that are eating out after midnight at 24 hour restaurants. We're interviewing some of the patrons. Like, would you be interested in asking, you know, answer the question. - Wow. - And what time typically are you getting there? And like, how long? - Yeah. - We arrive at around 11.30. - Okay, damn. - We get set up, we meet the staff and make sure they're comfortable. Then we get the intro shot outside. And then, or we'll do B-roll first or something, so then we just get it out of the way. 'Cause basically the thing is, how can we sustain the latest thing we shoot? We kind of want to be the food? 'Cause that's like me alone. And then I want to shoot the interviews around one to two. 'Cause it's like, I want to be the most, you know, away. - Sorry, phone is blown under me. - No, are you doing that? - And then it's, I mean, it's totally brutal. And then I have young kids, so usually. - I was gonna say. - Waking up, and my lovely wife is covering for me in the morning, the next morning, 'cause I will usually get home at three. - Three. - And then probably won't go to bed to like 3.30, because I just am tired. - You're in your wild. - And I've been calving caffeine, and I've been drinking coffee. - I mean, how are you going to bed at 3.30? I would think like four or five? - Yeah, sometimes it's four. I mean, it depends on how long it takes me to get sleep. Sometimes I'm too wired, and I can't get down to four. - Yeah. - But it's such a show that I was talking to a friend of mine. He was like, I really like it, but I think that you're immediately gonna start being like, "Why the fuck did I choose to do a show at midnight?" - Yeah. - But it's like a great premise. - Yeah, and that's the problem. - It's so fun though. - Do you have a, okay, so out of all those, is there one that you like the food? Was your favorite? - Oh God. - I mean, so much good food. We did, I love Astro Diner. Is one of my favorite. - Oh yes, I love Astro. - In Echo. - Oh no, it's. - It's like. - In Silver Lake. - In Silver Lake. And it's just this really iconic. I kind of had me lookin' Diner. - It's one of those things like living in LA. And I mean, it's the case for a lot of states, but like being like, man, I wanna go to more diners. - Astro is great. - But sometimes you go to diners and you're like, this fucking sucks. - I know, and they're really hit or miss. - The thing about the 24 hour ones is that usually, they got a pretty dialed because they can afford to keep staff through the night. - Yeah, that's what I was thinking. - So like often the food is better there, 'cause they're like, this is down to a hard science. We know how to make this. We know how to like, all the systems are kind of engineered really perfectly. We also did Sun Nung Don in Koreatown, which is like soup and beef and stuff. There's one dish they set fire to. - Wait, I think I've been there. - It's great. - It's great. - Yeah, I've been there. - And then our finale, I mean spoiler, but is at Orphanandes in San Francisco when we went up. And it was like this like, really cool diner where not even Diner, just a cool restaurant where there's like Christmas lights all everywhere. And it's 'cause the two owners are this couple and they were like, yeah, we put Christmas lights up for Christmas and we take 'em down and then we just decided to stop taking them down. So it's like really vibing like all of that. - And it's yeah, open up. - What's the food, what's the type of food that you're eating there? - It's like Americana at that place like that. Like you know, great wings, great like burgers, great fries again. - Are you ever doing like sweets like pancakes? - Oh yeah, we do. I usually do like breakfast, lunch, dessert as well. - Are you sitting with them? - Man, you gotta feel pretty fucked up. - Yeah. - I mean that one, yeah, we were also like, we flew up for the day and then we shot it. - Oh, I'll stay in the hotel. - And then flew the next morning. - Wow. - So it's like a brutal. - Yeah, but it's kind of epic, it's kind of romantic. - It's become so addictive too 'cause like it's so fun. And then I get to eat all this delicious food. - Oh, of course. - But like the question mark of who will we happen upon is always so great. Like we'll meet people that are just totally interesting and that will become a part of the fabric of that episode. - Yeah. - And we can repeat it as many times as we can go to do 24 hour restaurants. What's the most fascinating thing like or story that someone has told you in a nutshell? - Ooh. - Like in all of your these episodes. - We just did one that comes out probably by the time this is out, it'll be out at Norm's restaurant. And there were two servers who had been off shift from another restaurant and they came there 'cause they didn't want to go to sleep yet. - Yeah, of course. - And we were talking to them and one of them was just like, yeah, I just like went through a big breakup and she was just being really vulnerable. And she's like, I moved here to be an actor and like, I don't know how I'm gonna make a work and like, I just feel like love is so hard. And it was like, it's not that what was interesting, but no, but it's like so hard. It's real. People are really open at that hour. Like, I think it's partially like the fun of the show is that that late at night, it kind of feels magical. - Yeah, because everyone's asleep and it's kind of like these are secrets. - I was gonna say also, there's something, I know it's such sad, like that's such rough, but there is a, I don't know how people are gonna take this, but like, there is a beauty to heartbreak. Especially at a diner at 2 a.m. It's just like, oh, there's something like poetic and it's so lovely. Like, yeah, I don't know. - And also, I think it's necessary. I think it's important to experience heartbreak. You kind of have to go through it. And I think what's so cool about a late night thing is that it almost feels like there, no one knows about it. Like, everyone's asleep, no one's around. So it's kind of like a little moment in time that is so sweet and precious and nobody knows what's happening. - Yeah. - Okay, okay. (laughing) - It's so sweet and precious. - It's so sweet and precious. - Anyway, our serious podcast quota, we've hit it. So anyways, back to the fucking grind, I can hit it. - Wait, so what is this show called again? - Graveyard shift. - Graveyard shift, okay. - Yeah, there should be somewhere between four and eight episodes out. - And is it on your stuff? - Yeah, is it on your YouTube? - Oh yeah, some of your YouTube channels. - Okay, cool. You have perfect person, then you have your YouTube channel. - Yeah, there's two, yeah. Perfect person is the podcast, and then my YouTube channel, we do like different, right now this year, we've tried to do like, what are different shows we can do and do like episodes that? - You did Justice Miles. - We did do an email. - Oh, that was so good. - It was a treasure. - Oh, dude, you put-- - You also had your wife. - I'm my lively wife. Yes, exactly. - Oh, I've killed it. You had Damien. - And then you had Anna? - Yeah, it was, we pit real people, we cast real people with disagreements with each other, and then we give them comedian lawyers to represent their cases in a courtroom, and then I am the judge. So it was like, you know-- - You put Damien in the perfect position. - You're so funny. - So funny. - He is, dude, he just can be on fire. - Yeah, he was incredible. I mean, yeah. And he just put on his, he had like, he looked like the devil in a like, - Oh yeah. - Like a red shirt and a thought. It was perfect, yeah. - So good. - Yeah, hopefully we'll make more of those when we're the end of the YouTube. It was also like, that did super well, and I was like, oh wow, like, this is also a really repeatable format. - Yeah. - Yeah. - To get real people in there. I think also in the next season, I wanna have a jury of real people. So it was like, people who are missing, they were like, we want an audience to this chaos. - Oh yeah. - So having like six real people like, a really old woman and like, a Gen Z team, and they get to decide, Who? - Oh, if the case. - Old woman's just like this all the time? - Yes, she's just like to have a sleep. - And we have the jury to liberate and you know. - I love it. - That's too. - So good. - She's having fun over there, man. - Yeah. - Trying to have fun. - Man, I wish we were having fun, you know. - I wish we really are having fun. - We gotta start a bad time. - No, we really are. - We have a horrible time. - Two cans, you got a two can right here. - And there was one over here, but I think you knocked it on its ass. - Oh, then there's one up over there. And is the two can, is the two can, is that what's the thematically? - It started, it was Spencer who actually came up with this. Amanda was wearing a sweater that had two two cans on it. And then Spencer said, "Get your two cans out." - And I did. And we cut all of it. (laughing) - Yes. - Release the two can. - I released them and boy did it feel good. - What a way off my back, you know what I'm saying? (laughing) - And we just cut to commercial. - And so the fans have just latched onto that. - Yeah, they love it. So now we have a lot of cute little two cans. - You never know what the fans are gonna like. That's the new phrase. - Yeah. - You never know. - Never know. - The latch in there. - Oh yeah, they really take it off. - It's pretty sick. - Well, I mean, we've got her on Bay. - Oh yeah. - It's always looking at me. - He's always looking at me. - He knows I would fight for him. - Yeah. - Oh god. - Anyways. - Well. - Ooh, nasty. - What a good episode. I really love this. - This has been fully a fever dream. - And you're incredible. - Nice. - I can't wait to have you back, maybe on May and again, where we could play ridiculous characters. - Oh, yeah. - Or anytime. - Happy to come back for anything. You guys are the best. - Of course. - Thank you for having me listen to this song. - Of course. - And of course. - You guys rock. - That one is dwindling. Selena is getting tired. (laughing) - The fair horn is on its deathbed. - Selena is done. - And that's fine. - Anyways. - All right, well Miles, thank you so much for joining us. - Yeah, check out Miles, Miles, YouTube, and-- - Miles, YouTube. - I missed you, YouTube. - Miles, YouTube. - Just search Miles, YouTube. - Just search Miles, YouTube, and smell what the rock is called. (laughing) - You know what, we'll link it below, so shut up. - All right. - All right, guys. - Zander off. Goodbye. - Bye guys, love you. - Thank you. (upbeat music)