#145 - The Perfect Episode w/ Miles Bonsignore

Hi, welcome to Smoshmouth. I'm Shane and I'm Amanda and we have one of my favorite guests ever. It's Miles Bunts singular in the North. What are your friends that you don't know how to say it? Yeah, wow. I don't know how to say anyone's name. No, that's a thing. I don't even know really how to say it. Okay. Okay. What is it? Bonsignor? Well, okay. Bonsignor. Bonsignor. If you like that, you're going to put it full sauce. Yeah. Full sauce. Full sauce, full red sauce on here. Okay. Or it's Bonsignor. Bonsignor. Bonsignor is more of the chicken Parmesan version. Exactly correct. The all of garden version. The chicken cutlet rochester New York style. You guys know Miles Shane and I were on his podcast and then I was recently on it. Perfect person. One of my favorite podcasts ever. What you do with a soundboard is absolutely genius. So we decided to have our own soundboard. Oh, it's interesting. It's back there. Oh, so it's Selena. Selena. And so that's the. So I've been hitting this one for a second. Wow. Wow. Whoa, that's a dump fart. Okay. It's just a. Oh, yeah, that's earlier today. When we were before we were coming to do this episode. Yeah. You were saying to the entire crew. You were like, guys, we got a soundboard for this episode. And I was like, meanwhile, yeah, you knew it was you. Yeah. Okay. That's good. Uh-oh. Uh-oh. By the way, you had to look at the monitor and then see what one I was actually touching. It was a big. A soundboard with a huge delay. It's funny. It was like checking your notes. Oh, which one are you pointing? Okay. His fingers are so monstrous. We're sorry about that. Big meaty finger. Okay. Whoa, that fart was wet. I love this soundboard. I am actually laughing at the idea of a soundboard that has a randomized delay. Yeah. So you press it and you're like, it's anywhere from one second to 30 minutes. Any time. And so then you continue the podcast and randomly the video just like, you're like, oh, shit. I forgot. I pressed that forever ago. So many wet parts, you guys. Yeah. Let's get a clean one. Okay, that was pretty good. Let's get a clean one like, let's just all go around and do a wet part. I would kill for a really good fart machine. Have you ever seen the guy on TikTok who walks around like central park? Yes. Yes. Yes. The cute dog guy and he lifts his whole leg up like do a whole jump. Believe it. But he has some wet ones. He's always real farts though. I don't know what no yell. Hands in the pocket every time. But he goes way too hard. Sometimes there's a group of girls and they're having a day out. I know. They're ruining their fucking day. He ruins their day. Yeah. That's pretty brutal. It's crazy. You guys ever use fart spray in the grocery store? What? No, but I we I was not in I was not in this video. But around like six years ago, they did a games video where they got the fart spray. And Courtney was telling me she's like, that was the worst smell. I've ever smelled my life. She's like, that was the worst shit ever. Yeah. So I've heard it's awful. I was a little boy in the in the grocery aisle in sort of the frozen aisle. And I just got a fart spray from some prank. How did you get that? I don't know. I see it feels like it should be a control. A guy on French code someone was like, Hey, you want some fart spray? Yeah. Come on. Yeah. It was his own fart. No, but it was really I found a way to bottle my farts. But I was in the frozen aisle and just remember like spraying it and then running away and like peeking around the corner and an old woman was just like. Oh. And she dies. She just died. I saw a video of a guy. You know those big inflatable like dinosaur costumes you can wear. Yes. That they've got the internal fan going. I've watched a video where someone walks up to a guy. Oh, he does the fart spray. And you see the guy like dancing in the T-Rex gun. And he's just like. Oh, I've seen a montage of those incredible. A montage of people in inflatable sitting fart spray spray. And they're going like trying to get out of this trying to get out of the thing. It's so good. It must be horrible. Yeah. Does it not because fart smell bad, but they're not like life ending. But this fart spray must be so bad. It's pretty concentrated. Oh God. Feels like like those jackass times when they put like a freaking porter potty. Oh, yeah. And they lunch around. It's just. Why did he say yes to that? Well, he made a lot of money. Yeah. Yeah. Would you ever do like a prank show like that? What were I get pranked for how much money? I say, by the way, I was about to react and be like, no, I would never do that. But for try guys, I was like in my underwear in the cheesecake factory with body paint clothes on. Oh, jeez. Oh, my God. Why? Yeah, because they told me to. Oh, yeah. Yeah. Miles. Miles is like guys as well. But I was like, but I yeah, it was just they were like, well, we didn't think any other cast members were going to do it. Like do you want to do it? I was like, yeah, hell yeah. Let's say about miles. And I'm brave. And I've been bravery is a choice that everyone should be involved with. Really good. But no, we were in our and then we like went and then the problem was after we sat when I stood up. Like my sweatline had wiped away a layer of the glow thing. And so then the security guard did tell us to live. And the security was like, now you're naked. Yeah. Oh, he knew that it was body paint. That's right. And I went body paint. It was body paint. Like body paint. Everything. Everything except my underwear. Not my penis. Let me have penises on them. Hey, man, your tie your ties a little long casually saying that I like him. I painted a blue sky. And it's just like a bird. But it's your time. I became a felon. Yeah. I try committing crimes. Exposed myself with a cheesecake factory. Kind of crazy. But what else is on the doctor for? We try to get on every list we can. I thought you committed that hard. I don't think that they could paint that away. Yeah. I'm asking. I would be part of the. Like like PETA from Hunger Games. Oh my god. PETA. What a perfect pair. Exactly. PETA. You're. PETA. Your penis is out. It's bark. That's actually bark. That's the that's the under unrated version. Seeing fetus penis. You're what? No, it's bark. It's bark. I'm not here right now. When I saw that movie in theaters, I did laugh out loud. To be clear, I left out loud. I'm sorry. I want to ask what is the most insane thing you have done in a YouTube video? Oh god. Because that makes me think about that. Most of them are from the target series candid competition where we like basically pit brands against each other. But that's not even what the real videos are. To be short, we were nude in a cheesecake factory. That's one. I had to dress up in Goth makeup and push around a fake baby stroller that had Zach and a baby's bonnet inside of it. How big was this stroller? It was covertly that they built to hide Zach inside of and basically the premise was I have to feed him like all of Garden in a thing so they didn't know that he was eating the food. None of it. Why were you got. That's a good question. And that's a question that I don't have the answer to. Oh my god. We did that. That's incredible. Just me as goth is part of the brand of this. That's that's crazy. You guys do a lot. You guys did a lot of public stuff. That show was a lot of public stuff. Like that was also like I had to break up with Zach and goth makeup and we did best restaurant to break up in. But I'm in goth makeup and then Zach is supposed to be like my lover. This is a separate occasion where you're in goth makeup. Yes. What is actually occurring. I like like Zach and Keith. So maybe you're in maybe you're in like goth. No, literally this all began because the premise was like I had to have a GoPro choker on. They were like, okay, so I was shooting all the videos at one point of try guys. And for those who don't know that the idea was how do we get a GoPro on a miles. We need to get a GoPro on because we're covertly filming in these places where we're like doing various shenanigans. So the idea was what if I have a GoPro necklace or choker. So then we're like well, if it's big and bulky on miles as neck, then we could stud the collar. But if he's wearing a studded collar, it's not going to blend in unless he's got. So then I get it. Now I'm totally got to it. You actually don't notice that I'm wearing a weird necklace because I'm okay. Well, so that was a good camera angle. Perfect. Okay, flawless. That goth has extremely good posture. It's too good. Oh, it's the craziest thing that you've ever done for a YouTube video. So something that was pretty crazy on mythical kitchen forever ago. Josh made me eat an entire tarantula. Oh, it was dead, but it was a full tarantula. And he and I both had to pop out an entire one in our mouths. Nope. That was nuts. I didn't know what we were doing when I did the video and that happened and that was crazy. Nope. However, though, I think back on like Smosh and like we were doing some weird shit in those early years, like 2015, 2016. Because that's back in the era where we would do stuff in public. And at one point they dressed me up fully as Nicholas Cage. Like prosthetic makeup. We're like, I had a fake hairline like all this shit and they had me run around Comic Con and just like interview people and everybody hated me. Nobody wanted to talk to me. Also Nick Cage. I don't see that, you know. Yeah, well, I got into character. Do you? Which Nick Cage? I don't know the kid. It wasn't as much of a cage face. It's like I would I haven't worked on the impression like. Yeah, okay, just show it to it. Okay, so we're here. It's pretty good. Yeah, and I would I would get into it. and I would just run around. Selena. - Oh, whoa. - Thanks. (laughing) - You know what you could say? But we have to go, "Hey, and excuse me." - Oh, Selena. - Oh, Selena. (laughing) - All right, that's a really good nickname. - Thank you. That was awesome. - Thank you. I did a lot of stuff like that. I really hated going out in public and messing with people. And we didn't do it a lot. - I was gonna say that to the society. - But I hated it. - We also had a sketch early on that I pitched where I played a ghost and I was basically fully naked. - But they painted me fully white. - What? - I was just painted fully white. - Were you in your underwear? - I was in underwear. - No, I was painted fully white. - I was actually naked so often in early videos. - When I go into try guys now, I just know I have to wear good underwear. - Yeah. - Wow, guys. - Because I know that. - No, here's the thing, try guys. I have not done much there, but when I go there, I'm like, "Oh right, this place is crazy." 'Cause we did trial by trolley. And I was like, "Okay, we're gonna go. "Let me watch one of these previous episodes." And I'm watching, I'm watching Grant suck on Keith's toes. And I was like, "Oh my god." - I thought that too. I was like, "Hey, when we first sat in there." I was like, "So, Zach, I'm not sure about Shane "and I going to that level of sucking toes." He's like, "Oh, no, no, no, I'm not gonna have you." - No, no, he still put us in some crazy positions. I was like, "Okay." He was like, "Oh, look, I'm not gonna tell you what happens, "but I'm gonna tell you one of the things." They're like, "We're gonna have you guys blind-rink, "your 10 favorite YouTubers." And I was like, "I know where this is." - And they're all canceled. - And this, that, and it, I was like, you guys are putting us in a very good way. - Ned was on there for sure. - Oh, for sure, yeah, he's gonna be. - He's gotta be. - He's one of the best. - Yeah, I was shocked. I was shocked. - Yeah. - But no, I was like, "Oh, right, you guys are crazy over here." - Yeah, yeah. - You are! - Well, I was shenanigans. They put me in a dunk tank for one of the, for the, I want to get a dunk tank. Oh, I know, I've got a dunk tank for Smosh. - And what is it like? - Well, I was terrified because I felt like, the dunk tank was not built for somebody nice. - I was going to say. - So I was like, if I do this wrong, my legs are gonna snap on the bottom of the tank. - Of course. - 'Cause I'm like falling, but then the water's not that deep. - Yeah. - So it's like, I was worried I was gonna get hit. - Do you have those worries that when you dive, you're gonna dive and like, you know, just hit your head and break it all? - Well, I'm not diving in like four foot water. - Oh, what? - You don't have life on the edge. - Sorry, what are you saying? - She's worried I'm gonna break my spine dive. - As tall people, when you dive, I think about it all the time. - Do you dive a lot? - Yes. - Anybody-- - Any chance I can get? - Anybody can hop up, I'm diving. - No way. - Cool, I'm diving. - Whoa, whistle blown, bathtub. - I'm diving, bathtub, you know I'm diving. - Boil it, I'm diving. - And you've got to dive into the toilet. - Yeah, after you're done. - Has anyone talked about how big these mugs are? - Yeah, so these are new. And how I like to do it, is I like to go like this, the grip of the whole thing? - Whoa. ♪ Best part of waking up ♪ ♪ It's four years in ya ♪ - Have you guys seen that one where there's the brother of the famousist? - Cup. - So, what? - I learned a bunch of lore about this. We talked about this a few weeks ago. - Yeah, really? - We were talking about, the Folger's commercial is so fun. There's a Folger's commercial from the '90s. - Oh, I know. - It actually is from like the 2000s. - I know it. - And it's a brother and sister. And they're weirdly horny for each other. Did you know that on the internet, there is thousands upon thousands of fanfics about it. And there are series. It has an expanded universe. - What? - And it is crazy. I didn't read them, but I looked at all the tags for it. And I was like, oh my god, they hit every sexual category. (laughing) And they were like, wow, they have them doing everything. - What an interesting fodder for a fan. - I was like, what the fuzz will we do? - Imagine being that actor you work one day. - One day. - You're going, you feel for like- - You've got 200 dollars. - You feel for probably three hours on that day. You're just like, all right, yeah, sweet. Like I'm gonna get some residuals from this. 20 years later, you're like, yep, I'm the, I'm part of that. - I'm the horny brother. (laughing) - It's me, horny sister. - Hey, I'm horny sister. I'm here for the Folger's. - How did that, how did the people at Folger's watch that commercial were like, this is perfect? - 'Cause they were super horny, man. - Yeah. - I've been saying this for years. (laughing) - Folger's people are horny as hell. - My brand. - It is so horny. - It is so horny brand. - Okay, coffee. - And you're a coffee guy. - I'm a coffee guy, I like coffee. - You sell coffee. - I sell coffee. - You sell coffee? - Perfect person coffee. - Yeah, perfect person coffee. - Oh, it's a little coffee thing. It's these guys that I worked at a coffee shop with in New York. And then they just continued roasting, and then they do the fulfillment and stuff for the coffee. How many types of roasts do you have? - That's a really good question. We actually have two types of coffee. - Let me, let me guess, dark and light. - Well, no, we are the darkness and lightness. - Darkness and lightness. King and Yon. - King and Yon. - King and Yon. - King and Yon. - But no, it's, there are two light roasts, single origin coffees. So you don't really like dark roasts, though, is because if you dark roast them, then you're kind of roasting some of them. - Yeah, ooh, tingles. - That was single origin. - Tingles. - Two tingles. (laughing) - Two tingles, and then you do tingles. - You messed up and I was gonna let go of it. - Yeah, you got that guy from Majora's Mask, is there? - Okay, okay. - Tingles, guys. - Two more masks. - We are eating in this episode. - Um, um. (clears throat) (laughing) - That was so important. - Thanks. - Thanks. - Um, uh, that's fantastic. I fucking love coffee. - I fucking love coffee. - So we like a single origin. - Yeah, Bruce style, what do we? - Yeah, I do, I have my Chemex pour over. - I have my Chemex pour over a lot of time. - I'm doing that puppy as well. - Do you, so people can talk about, they're like, oh, not the Chemex. You gotta do a V60 or whatever. - How different art? - It's a good question. Now I'm glad you brought me here to discuss this. - Okay, good. - The Chemex is gonna be good. If you want a brew coffee for two people. - Yeah. - Uh-oh. - Uh-oh. - What if it's just for me, but I drink a lot of coffee? - Then you wanna bring one Chemex to the party. But I sometimes I'll go V60 in the afternoon. Basically, there's two different conical brew methods. - Look at him. - Yeah. - And the V60's sort of a vase type shit. - Wow. - And a, you know. - Waste a vase. - Yeah, wow. - How would you say? - Vace? - Vace. - Vace? By the way, nothing makes my bones shiver. Like someone saying, "Vace." - Woof. - Vace. - Hey, can you get the vase? - Yeah. - That's bummer. - Buh. - Isn't that the rock? Isn't the fa sound from the rock? - I thought it was, is the-- - Buh! - I thought it was, is it not like-- - I'd be the rock. - I didn't know. - That killed me. - What do you think the rock has for coffee in the morning? - Oh, he just takes a fucking bullet. (laughing) - He puts coffee in a gun, and he goes-- - Put so gun in his mouth and blows the coffee into his face. - I should point out at this stage for those listening and watching that it is 5 p.m. We have been filming videos all day. We had a 7.30 a.m. call time today. - Yeah. - We've been going all day, so we are a little loose. (laughing) - Okay, so you have a Chemics and a V60? - Yeah, so you're, that's your two brew methods. - Well, yeah, no, I'm also cooking up a, I mean, I kind of rock with it. I have an espresso machine, but it is sort of a chore to use. - Yeah. - And so you kind of got to warm it up and you got to get in there and get your hands dirty. - It's one shot. - And it's just one shot, so usually I'll do that for a special occasion if I have to sit like people over or something. - Oh, cute. - I'll bust that up. - Cool. - That's really cute. - Oh, it doesn't live on the camera. - Do you ever use a mocha pot? - You know what, mocha pots are cool and I don't use them, but I won't. Do you have one? - I do have a tiny little one, I never use it, 'cause the way to, people have told me like, here's how you should use a mocha pot. - It's actually kind of like complicated. - Yeah. - So a mocha pot, so it's a little like, they look like a little tea kettle and you put them on the stove. They're always stainless steel. - Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. - And you fill the bottom with water. - Yep, yep, yep. - And then a mocha thing. - And then it, isn't it kind of, like a Turkish coffee vibe? - It's an upside down espresso machine, but instead of using a boiler, it uses the power of steam. - Yeah. - I am turned on. (laughing) - You're gonna go, I am turned off. - Breathe that slowly. - So, picture this. Okay, Amanda, picture boiling water and it goes, (mimicking sound) and then it goes through the coffee and then it spooops out espresso. - So the egg has hit the landing. (laughing) - It went out. - Whoa! - Oh! - You gotta keep doing 'em, you gotta keep doing 'em, Slino. (laughing) - Bro, bro, bro. - Bro, bro, bro. - Oh, oh, oh, you have to go all the way over there and get that. - Let's see, I really would love to. Hang on, guys. Can you hand, can you-- - And while you're doing it? - Well, there's a lot of crazy stuff, thank you. - Slino. - Oh, fart nose. - Oh. - Fart nose. - Fart nose. But anyway, a mocha pot is cool. You're never using yours? I don't use my mocha pot. I don't have a spot. - I really have a spot. - I love your pot, guys. - I only have espresso when I go to a coffee shop. - Do you wanna hit one? - Okay, fine. Do you wanna hit this? - I'm gonna hit you. - Hey, dude. You wanna hit this? (laughing) Yo, dude. - Bro. - Do you wanna hit this? (laughing) - Bro. (laughing) - Bro. - That was just that fart nose say. - Fart nose say. - Fart nose. - Whoa. - What the? - Fart nose. - He's got a fart nose, you know what I'm saying? - Can you rearrange them and-- - Hold on, hold on, Slino. (humming) - She hated that she decided to do this. Are you looking for the eye? - I can't believe. - Hey, give it back. - Okay, take that. - We're gonna put the eye on it, so it's not fart nose. 'Cause we don't want that. - It's gotta be art. - Yeah, fart nose. - Yeah, fart nose. - Okay, so mocha pot. Pretty cool. - Oh, that's pretty cool. - What happens if I do this? Uh oh. - Let me see. Art noise. - Oh, it's a French man laughing. - That's actually deeply offensive. (laughing) - So fucked up. - Oh my God. - Okay, coffee, you're really into coffee. Also, you were just on "Will You Be Mine?" - Yeah. - Oh yeah. - On the fully improvised dating show on the main channel of "Smosh" and it was such an honor and privilege to do it with you. - It was so cool. - It was so cool. - It was so fun. - We were drivers in a reality dating show and it was very unplanned, but Miles and I, we found love as drivers. I was a honeywagon driver where I suck out poop from porta-potties and that's an, honestly, that job is incredible. - But I would say- - Dead serious. - More notoriously, you just had really greasy hair. - I had, hey, it was leaving conditioner unwashed. So I put that wig on and I went, "Wow, this wig is amazing." But what does this look like? And I put my ears back and they naturally did this and I was like, "There she is, there she is." - You found her in the ears. - I found her in the ears because she's so earnest that her little ears are of course like this. - Yeah. - She's hearing everything. - They're tilled it forward so you can hear better. - And you. - Yeah, I played junior officer Damien Bradley, Suzanne driving an armored car from one bank to another in "Unlong Island." - Yeah, my favorite line of that whole thing is we went, "Mom, come home." (laughing) - That was so fun, by the way. - That was so fun. - I could have done that forever. - He did it. - It was such a joy. - Me too. It was so fun. If you haven't seen Will you be mine, you need to watch it. - Yeah, people don't. Everyone is so funny. And by the way, hey, plug for Smosh Membership. I did it so I could see the outticks. - Oh yeah, he got Smosh Membership. We didn't give it to him so he could see the outticks. - He was about to Smosh Membership. - I did, man. - He asked us and we said no. - No, absolutely not. - Absolutely not. - Because I was like, I had so much fun and I was like, I wanna watch the times when like, chance falls and we all cannot keep it together. Like that was so funny. - The outticks, 'cause I have not seen them. - They're unbelievable. - It's great. It's like chance falling and it's fucking everybody else. - I remember breaking so much. - Yeah, it was a joy. - Sam and Seth was like, "Okay, I love all the breaking, "but we're actually not getting the take at all." - He got to move on. - He got to move on. - Oh. - Oh my God. Anyways, who incredible. - I feel like I'm burning calories during recording this. - Buddy, do you wanna see what's in my pocket? - Oh my God. - We were talking beforehand of what's in your pocket. - So, wait, can we guess what's in your pocket? - You're gonna be disappointed. Now I just wanna preface. You're gonna be disappointed. But I do have a bunch of stuff in my pocket. - You have a bunch of, can you name how many items you have in your pocket? - You think you're, - How many items in your pocket? - Well, it's actually not that many. - I only have four. - Oh, good. - Four? - Do you have any interesting things in your pocket? - I don't think I have, I have, my phone, but then I have one thing that I carry on me at all times. In fact, it's his father's stopwatch. - A gun, I have a gun. - A gun. - And my father's stopwatch. - It's a stopwatch. - And it's stopped when he died in the war. - Yeah. - 16am. - 16am. - That's beautiful. - Wow, really? - No, I can tell you honestly, you don't have to guess. I carry aquifer in, this is not a brand deal, by the way. I, for years now, have carried aquifer in all of my left pocket of every pair of pants. 'Cause I always wanna have it on me. - He wants to be loose. - My lips can get chapped. - Do you keep that shit on you? - And so I keep that shit on me. - Do you put it anywhere else? - I, what I honestly try to do. Why are you nodding? - Like his penis. - Like my dry penis. - Dude. - Yeah. - Sleena hit us with a, bruh. - Hit us with a fair horn. - Bruh. (laughing) (singing) - We get, we get fucking copy right in, by the circus. (laughing) - You cannot think that sound actually. - And it's with a fair horn. - What, what, what's the fucking circus name? What's, Six Life Barnum, Barnum and Bailey? - Barnum and Bailey. - Barnum and Bailey. - Yeah, they did a great show. - They might as well, like, we've got you. - Please. - Rolling there's, okay, but. - So, I keep aquafore in my front left pocket in every single pair of pants. - Just really? - Wait, just kinda what happens is I keep buying it 'cause I'm like, oh, I can't find it, and I buy more, and I put in my front left pocket, and then eventually, I'm like, oh, I just realized I have one in all of that pairs of pants. - Oh, there's this pocket. - They're just already there. - Oh my. - So, my pants are all folded. And then I pull them out and I'm like, there's already some chapstick in my pocket, so. - Is it a tube or is it a tub? - A tub would be crazy. - No, it's a tub. - A tub would be cyclone. - Not a tub, I have like this one. - Oh yeah. - Or some that are like a chapstick of aquafore, and some of them have SPF on them. - Whoa, in case you're on the slopes. - So, in case you're on the fucking slopes, you're skiing it out. - Yeah, 'cause the sun doesn't work unless it's cold. - That's right, so you're good. - Bounces off the sun. - Yeah, oh, that's off the sun. - So, that's my pockets. Now, Miles, you've got four things in your pockets. Now, I'm gonna say phone and wallet. - Yeah, okay, that's correct. - I'm gonna say some type of kids toy. - No, that would be cool though. - That would be cool. - Okay. - Well, okay, keys. - Actually, you know what, I do have five things. - Okay, at five keys. - Nicotine. - Yeah. - Whoa. - No, I wish. (laughing) I wish I was that cool. - I wish I could, by the way, call Sprouse it on this show. - Yeah, that would be pretty sick. - A tiny notebook. - No, that is fun though. - Ooh, that's a good one. - Okay, I guess I'm gonna get it. - Are you okay? - Notebooking in a regular notebook? - Not. - Wait, first of all, what's happening in your hands? Second of all, what, what do you mean, journaling? - Yeah, like you do right on paper. - Yes. - Every single thing. - I try to write on paper. - Every morning. - I'm not regular about it, but I-- - You do in your morning pages? - Yes. - Oh. - Kind of, they're like a short version of morning. I don't have time to do three. - No. - I have one kid you have two. Like, what are we doing here? - Good time. - I do like this much. - Yeah. - I'm talking about my nightmares. - So it's like a dream journal. - It's like a dream journal. And then I'm also-- - Nightmare journal. - Nightmare log. - Nightmare, nightmare, nightmare, nightmare. - Nightmare log. The witch number two visited me again last week. - We eventually look at it and it's just, oh! (laughing) - No, it's a flip page of a drawing of a witch like walking towards me. - It's just some scary-ass haunted shit. Do you have nightmares every night? - Not every night, but a lot of nights. - Most nights. You have some terrifying dreams. - I do. - Oh my god. - You just don't really dream. - I do. - I was telling Shane that I had one where my sister was possessed, but she wasn't my sister. She wasn't my sister, but she was Megan Fox. She looked very hot. - Hey. - And she was down in the basement and she was possessed. - Oh, Megan Fox and my basement be like, oh! (laughing) - Sleet her head with a bra. - Bra. - Bra. - Bra. - Bra. - Bra, bra. - Bra, bra for Megan Fox and the basement. - Megan Fox and my basement, am I right? - Oh! (singing) - Sleet her head. - Sleet her head. - I'm in hell. - I'm in hell. - Oh, okay. - It was, yeah. - So, you have two other things. - Yeah. - In your pocket. - Not nicotine and not a mini knife. - No. - Is it like a little tiny, like just like figurine. Like a figurine. Like a little, I don't know. - A little. - A little tiny collector. - Of the man you want to be. - Oh, that would be nice. It's like a D&D of me and a suit. - Yeah. - No, it's not. - Okay. - No, that would be cool. - Okay. - That would be sick. - Bro, I brought a knife to this. - Yeah, I mean, hey. - Yeah. - I do have a leatherman. Not here though. - Cool. - Cool. - Jesus Christ. - Please don't talk about it. - He was not here. (laughing) - I don't think I fully know what that is. - Oh, you know, it's a tool. Oh, is this a tool? Is it, is it what Bradley Mulligan pulled out when he was on your show? - Yes. - I remember that. - And then leatherman saw that glip and sent me another one. 'Cause they were like, yeah, man, we saw you have a leatherman. You want another leatherman? And I was like, sure. Yo, we saw you have our leatherman. We're gonna hunt you for sports. - Yeah, yeah. - So the hunt is on. (laughing) - Let's talk about us on. - Wow. - Don't ever mention us. (laughing) - We're gonna send you another one. - That would be such a funny response from a brand. - Get a DM. - If aquafore commented underneath this video, be like, don't ever. - Get those out of your pants. - Keep them down. - Take us off your mouth. - And keep us out of your mouth. (laughing) - Okay, an extra sock. - What for what, Shane? - You run one out, rub, rub. - Rub one out? (laughing) - If you rub, if you-- - Oh God, we're running out of one of your socks. - We're running out of one of your socks. (laughing) - That's not what I was gonna say. People were gonna think we're high. - I thought it was. - It is. - What? - Art noise. - God. (laughing) - Thanks, Lena. - Selena. - Thanks, thanks, Selena. Yeah, please change it. - So how is this episode coochier than our ants episode? - You didn't episode about ants? - We didn't episode where we played our ants for 80 minutes. - Miles would actually love it. - Oh, I saw that this came out, but I was more excited for you guys in antennas. Dressed as ants. - Oh, that's the next one. - That's actually really fun. - It's a great episode. - We're just talking shit about the hive. - The hive. - Yeah, bam. - And the journey-- - Life back on the farm. - The journey to be here. - The ant farm is not doing well. The ant farm. - The ant farm. - What's in your pants? Wait, well, let's-- - (laughing) - Damn, I don't know my sock. I can't do this. - You can't do boar, you can't do boar. - I was hoping for something like. - Sweet! - That's a boar being murdered. - Yeah. Well, we're running really fast you guys ever see a bore in the oil actually. Yes, really I grew up in Arizona We saw how there was a havelina in our Way we're just like whoa, there's a havelina running over there. Was it like don't go near that thing? Oh, yeah, that was running away. It was scared, but it's like you do not fuck with those you don't fuck with boards wild boars We'll kill you. Yes. Of course they will. Yeah. Yeah, you're Massachusetts wild boars. Yeah, it's crazy Really? No I don't think so. No, not at all. I got excited. We have his mountain lions. Really? Oh, yes They're all over the I'll never forget when a mountain lion was like very close and like the suburbs and there was a helicopter around my My hometown. I'm realizing this story. Who cares about it? No, we were hunting it with a helicopter I saw mountain. Get that mountain. Get that thing. We're gonna be able to see it from the sky Terrible. I think it's like I'm wicked tired. Yeah, I'm a mountain lion I saw mountain lion in Arizona right behind my house. My mind. Yeah, I was walking I was walking my dogs And I look out and I just see one sitting on the middle of the open just staring at me and and looking my dogs didn't even see it And I was like I'm gonna turn back now. That's quite my back home. It was huge. That's fucked up. It was terrifying Do you have aqua for in your pocket then? No, you could have sprayed it as I was I wasn't I couldn't have fixed. Yeah, I could have thrown it at it You know what's up? I learned recently and look if someone listening if this is wrong I'm sorry, but I learned that there was an American cheetah until around like 15,000 years ago Okay I am interested in that long ago like there were cheetahs in America Until like roughly 10 to 15,000 years ago and that's why the the pronghorn sheep is the second fastest animal in the world Oh, because they're out running and they're all over in yeah, that that's why like they're so fucking fast They're they outrun everything in there. Yeah, there's no predator that can catch them nowadays But the reason that they're so fast is because there used to be cheetahs. What happened to the cheetahs? They probably went extinct 15,000 years ago. I think it was roughly like it was like over 10,000 years ago, but there are cheetahs now In America, but there was an American cheetah so right Where in America would they be it would have been forever pronghorn sheep are so like honestly in in New Mexico Colorado Even parts of maybe California. I don't know. Why do you think they went extinct? What's happening? Well, this is what it is You have one final guess. Oh shit. It looked Well, I'm gonna pretend I can't see it Is oh air air pods No, you dear It's it's oh oh is it mince? No, it holds your baby teeth that looks that looks like sins Brought to you by sin It's it's a little raspberry candy things. No, that is fun though. Yeah, I have an edible. No, tiger bomb No, tiger bomb. Yeah, is it like some sort of muscles. No fool. I'll give you a hint He doesn't go on the ice. It's something I use on myself God if this is a sock joke. I'm out. It's not hey, it's not a sock It's not lip balm. It's not any sort is it for your skin? You use on yourself. Okay, don't worry. Oh, it's hair It's a Pomme. That's right. Oh my god. Let me see Pomme old-spice paste you carry paste No, here's the deal. Okay, I had this in my car But then I was like if I get in there into the green room and then I'm like actually I'm having a hair moment I need to put this putty in my hair. We have stuff. I don't know you guys had stuff. Oh, we got it told you that miles That's crazy. We got stuff you guys have stuff on while yeah, that's crazy. Oh, H. Yeah, that's right And it's just an itch. It's just an agent. How could you not understand? Oh, we don't have that we have I get roasted for my hair Constantly you have really good hair. Well, it's not that I get roast. It's just that it's all over the place And I mess with my hair. It's definitely my like nervous not nervous thing. I like it, but um Yeah, I feel like you have consistently amazing hair I'm gonna yeah, yeah, I feel like wow and it always you know it is because I want my hair to look the same shape all the time My hair does not look the same. Oh, yeah, I feel like when I think of you I go good hair in the same really kind of agree I mean sometimes you'll you'll be like talking and you'll do this and then it'll stick up, but it doesn't look that bad. Okay. Yeah Doesn't look like total Just looks kind of shitty. Yeah, I see that All right, well, well, we got it. No, there's four things in your pocket. You have one more take them out And we didn't get it. I'm in love this energy All right, guys, well, we got it Guys coming down. Oh, we got it No, that needs to be a you Here's with soldier boy So you guys filmed bit City and you film or you watched like sold the soldier boy dance. Yeah, yeah We didn't get clearance to to like show that so Emily asked me to recreate them You had to recreate the regressions. Yeah, can you give us a couple bars of that? No, no the dance the dance. Oh, I thought you're gonna be like Oh my god, that was it. That was tearing up the middle school dance. Oh, I loved it. Yeah remember holiday in by chingy. Yeah, that was crazy That was a crazy moment. I loved that. I remember at a middle school dance while that song was playing Going outside and there was a this girl Who's was about to slap this boy? Slap slap guy. Oh my god Jesus Christ who's literally about to slap this boy Rock let's see what you're cooking I don't know. Okay, so this girl's about to slap this guy Yeah, just remember everyone coming on being like whoa and she was like you better apologize And he was like I'm not gonna and then she just fucking slapped him and everyone was like And then she walked in and it was like Everyone was like Did she go in and immediately start dancing? Yeah, oh and he was outside and I just remember him going Sad he was upset and he was like I love her. Yeah, he was kind of a troubled kid. Oh That adds layers. Well, he kind of earned I whatever he did probably does you have good memories from middle school I feel like no, they were always so much pressure. Oh, they were awful. My god like what if I pop a B if I'm you dancing? Yeah, you know That was a concern. Yeah, it's so funny. I didn't think about that at all I had a blast. I was like in the middle of the grind line just living it up I was like front and back all grind. Oh, yeah I would go in the bathroom and wet my hair and slick it back and I'd come out and I was like who's up So truly people that tied me on the show to go you want to dance and I was like Sure, let's bring him to I would be like I would be like the longest grind line in the world. Oh my god. And our dances were always like in the dead of winter So it would be like you had to grind to keep war survival and bring him to is meanwhile. I'm in Arizona It's hot as a clock Nobody's nearly and all of our lunch ladies were like running it We did it at an old veterans club. It was called the Knights of Columbus. Oh my god And it was like a war vets hang out and they had they sold like candy and soda and it was all of our lunch ladies and we were like Yeah And the lunch ladies are like get it They were like you were good out there. Oh my god. Oh my god. I loved my school dances. I was living it up That's crazy. I don't have a single good memory. No, come on guys. I'm saying they were bad They were just not fun. They were awkward. I'm just standing off to the side just like okay What do you have to like go out there and I tried I would do that I remember dancing like a little bit, but me and my friends are remember we were like we were like Obviously into girls we're like super into it. Yeah. Yeah, okay. Also. We're like I remember we had this thing and okay before you judge it Let me tell you what it is, but it was called the three-finger rule Easy and but it was called three fingers because you we you were like instead of like holding her waist when you were dancing Yeah, you only Like the Martian I think it was like so that you're like actually dancing with them But you're actually like a little bit far away from them. So you're not really committing. Yeah, yeah It was nobody was like it was peak like I'm afraid of this, but I want to do it. Oh, okay Got it like I'm a little bit distant away from them Martian style Yeah, I remember being like yeah, man three fingers. That's the rule Oh god, and if a teacher heard that they would be mortified and they think I was talking about something though Yeah, yeah, of course. No, that's wild. I was never that close to a girl in middle school. Really? That's so funny You didn't have like a you didn't do a slow dance with the a bit of bay I love that. I don't think so. Love that Okay, we'll have a zero bay slow dances. Oh my god Do you remember when you were like dancing a full-on grind? Yeah, yeah Did you hear what I When you're in the middle and the lunch ladies are getting in on a two and everyone's fucking I'm joining it I'm joining the warbets were there. I can't get enough of this all the veterans through there all the ghosts were there and some candy And then a slow song came on and you were like I guess I'm gonna dance with you. I'm sorry. So you didn't dance with anybody Come back to you. No, no, no, don't worry about my paradise. Don't let it mess up your paradise. Who are you about your paradise? Oh, it's gay - And it's like you in between Sandwich and between two grind lines. - Okay, so. - No, meanwhile, I'm over by the wall just like, I don't know. - Yeah. - No, it's okay. I'm not saying like, I'm like, oh, I was, I was excluded. Like, a lot of it was self-imposed. I was just too nervous and too anxious. Like, I just was like, no. - And girls did not go up to guys and was like, come here. You're dense. - Absolutely. - I was not really talking about that. I was like, I was friends with people. Like, it was cool. But nobody came up and was like, I want to dance with you. - Really? - No. - I thought, I was very awkward in my body. I mean, I obviously still am, but very much. - You are? - You aren't? - Nah. - Um, but. - I'm serious. - And I think that you come off as awkward in your body? - Hey, 'cause. - I don't feel that way away from you at all. - I'm definitely, it's, I've had, I've had over 20 years to improve from middle school. - What? - I've had much training since then. - You've got these like ripped ass muscles, man. - Yeah, you're sure. - I literally, well, I hit an atrial. I was like, I gotta work out or something. - Wow. - How many push, actually, this was a question I had. - Oh, yeah. - This is a good question. And I'm really glad we're talking about this. - And I'm actually really glad. - Me too. - So yesterday, by the way, I don't work out like at all. And I wish that was more physically fit. - Yeah, your wife told me this. - So she's talking about it. - She's talking to you. She's like, God damn. - Miles, he cannot work. No, but. - We have a Peloton and he has not been. I went out of yesterday. - Oh, a lot of taller. - Sorry. - Okay, so you worked out. - But the question was, so I was doing pushups, right? And I'm like, yeah, I can't do any fucking pushups. I did like 10 pushups, then I tried to do another set of 10 and I got like eight. So I was doing 18. I was like, actually, I feel good about that. - You're doing 18? - 18. - My question was, how many pushups can you do in a row? - I don't know. - 600. - Oh my God, probably. I don't know if it, I haven't done a lot of pushups lately. Like, that's not the, in my workout routine. - Does this routine? - I can do it. I can probably, I don't know, if I would do a safe estimate of like somewhere between 30 and 40 maybe, but it's tough because when I was young, when I was like 14, 15 when I first started working out, I could do a ton, but I was super light. And what it's also probably challenging for you is your very tall. It's a much longer range of motion. So for me, for me, shorter arms, it's not as tough. - You're having said, boy, you and your friend. You and your friend, it's getting hot and fear. - Get in here, pushup contest. - Come on, let's do gaming. - Let's stack on top of each other and do pushups. But it's also, like as I was working out more and like gain muscle weight, then you can't do as many pushups 'cause you weigh more and that's more weight. So it's kind of, not always, but I think if you can do like 18 pushups in a row, that's great. - No, totally. And I'm trying to just build on that. But I was like, it'd be so cool to be like, yeah, I could do 100 pushups. - I bet you actually, if you were like doing pushups on the regular and pushing yourself to do as much as you can, it wouldn't take you long enough. A hundred's a crazy amount doing a row, but you could definitely get up to a big number. - I think there's a SNL story or something where it was like, Alec Baldwin, ASP Davidson, what his workout routine was and he was like a hundred pushups and a hundred sit-ups. And that was not true. And Alec Baldwin was like, you got it. And then the next time, they said. - I thought it said bra. - I thought someone was burned there. (laughing) - But then he started to do it, he was like, yeah, that was, became his routine. I was like, that's crazy. - That's hilarious. That's the one punch man routine. 100 pushups, 100 sit-ups, what 10th, 10 kilometer runner. - That's how we got to be one punch man. - And then he became one punch. Like, they truly felt like, wait, that's all you're doing. Like, anyways, you should watch, you should watch one punch man. - I don't even heard of it. - It's hilarious. - You should actually watch just one season, the first season of it. You would think it's so funny. - What is it on? - It's not a lot. It might be on Netflix or something. Sorry, we're gonna segue to me telling you the premise of one punch man really quick. - It's pretty good. - 'Cause so basically, it's this guy, he's a superhero. - Okay. - And his name is one punch man. Because he can beat any foe with one punch. - Whoa. - And he's this guy who lives in Japan. He's a single dude and probably like his 30s. And he's the most depressed guy on the planet. 'Cause he's so bored. 'Cause all he does is just shows up and just goes like this. And enemies just get annihilated. - He's so powerful. - And he's truly just so bored and having an existential crisis. 'Cause he's just like, yeah, just like that's it. - That's so funny. - And so he's new villains and be like, like building up like how they're so powerful and then he'll just kill them with one punch. And he's truly like the most jaded. - That does. - And he just lives in like a tiny studio apartment in Japan. And he just kind of like just doing his thing. Not really caring about anything. 'Cause nothing comes. - Is this animated? - Yeah, it's an anime. - I wish it was real. - It's really, really funny. - Whoa. - Yeah. - That's an anime. - That's an anime. - That's an anime wow for our audio listeners. - That's right. - Anyways. - Wow. - But no, yeah, no middle school was overall bad experience. (laughing) - Discer mice. - School was bad. - It's pretty known among our smosh fandom, but I was genuinely booed out of a dance circle in middle school. And that it wasn't like horror. It's not like, oh, people were talking about it the next day, but in that dance it sucked. - Oh, people were talking about it. - No way. - No, I was just doing some dances. I don't know. I think I tried to moonwalk or something. I was like not doing great. So I'm not gonna try to dance genuinely. You know, I gotta do like some sort of like, oh, it's a silly dance. - Yeah, I remember. I'm middle school is just a time for humiliation. Like I was in a basketball camp and I shot the ball into the wrong. - I actually did that as well. - You owned gold yourself? - I owned myself. - I owned it as well. - It was humiliating. - It was very embarrassing. - It's really tough. - It was like my camp was playing another camp and then all a bleacher full of kids for the other camp last night. - I truly, no, middle school. I was like, after middle school, I was like, I need to move on to something easier. So I got into the entertainment. (laughing) - Yeah. - I skipped high school. I was like, I can't. No, I can't. So moved on to this shit. - Wow. And here we are. - And what else is in your pants? 'Cause you didn't show us. (laughing) Take it out. I'm talking about what's in your bucket. - Oh shit. - What else is in your pants? - Take it out. - And miles as our guests, you gotta show us what else is in your kids? - No, hey, I've got a sock in case you can take a credit kit. Whatever she said. - No. It said in case you lose, what are your socks? This is what I meant to say. - Why, what in what world are you losing a sock? - I don't know. But while I got my phone, and then I have AirPods, and that's it. - I said AirPods. - Yeah, you did. - It made fun of me. (laughing) - Wow, he really took that to heart. - You made fun of me. - You made fun of me, man. - I said AirPods, you made fun of me. - And I got my air piece. Hello, that's all, that's it. There was nothing exciting. This is a segment born out of (laughing) there's nothing. But you know what I'll say? - No, we've done something with it. - You know what though? Before we started, we heard that there might be - I was just gonna say. - Really good segments. - Selena, hit us with a really good segment. - Yeah, you said you had conversation starters. - She just hits us with, brah, brah. - Which one do you want? You want a conversation starter? You want a segment. - Oh, let's get a segment. - Let's get a segment. - Basically, we're testing out segments on you. You're a guinea pig. - I know, that's what I was told. - Or guinea boar. - Or guinea boar. - That's great. - Good. - Thank you. - This one's called, it was originally called word of mouth, but. - Oh, I pitched this one, right? - Yeah, and then kind of was like, what about tongue tide? So, vote below, which title you want better. But what's your favorite word or phrase that you're using or overusing currently? (laughs) - Okay, word. - Word of mouth. What is your, are we using word of mouth? - I like word of mouth. What about was my pitch. - Word of mouth, this is Shane's pitch. What's your favorite word right now that you're using? - Yeah, or a word that you're using a lot lately. Or I like a word that you love. - That was it, really inspired. - So. - Yeah, so. - Word of mouth. - Amanda really loves this segment. - So word of mouth. - So we're gonna try it. We're gonna see what happens. - That's how the word you really love. - No, I'd love you to do a word that you're overusing. - Okay, you know, yet, you know, I think I say, what do I say? I probably say like, oh, yeah, beautiful. Like. - Nice. - Not once, her, do you say that? (laughs) - I just vote a lot. - I like it, you know, the guest says it. You just go, I don't think that's true. - Yeah. - We just did die. - Uh oh. - Not true. - That's actually not right, true. - No. - I feel like, yeah, I go like, oh yeah, sounds great. Yeah, beautiful, beautiful. - Beautiful, beautiful. - But then I got worried that people were thinking that I was calling them beautiful. - And what would be so wrong with that? - Well, if it's somebody, I don't know that well. - It's fucking awesome. - Really casually just be like, oh, nice, nice. You're really fucking hot. Yeah, yeah, sorry. You're beautiful, actually. - It's like, oh, weirdo. Like, what's your problem? - Wait. Guys. - Here we go. - People don't say that enough, man. - Here we go. - Guys. (laughs) - No. - People don't say you're beautiful enough. Why is the world afraid to compliment women? No, seriously, I'm dead serious. And I know your wife would agree with you. - A man that turns into a man of sphere pod. - Yeah, sure. - You should be honest. You should take it as a compliment, man. - You should take it as a compliment. - If you're saying you're beautiful, take it. And it's awesome. - Every time I went to Goldstone, creamy, I go. - Creamy? - I go. - You're beautiful. - Now can I have a goldstone? - Now I would like a goldstone. - You're beautiful. - When was the last time you got in Stone Cold? (laughs) Holy shit. (laughs) So much dead air. - Unbelievable. - I kinda, I kinda, because I feel like-- - You said Stone Cold. - Either, either someone else asks us this or what? Did you ask someone else this on one of your podcasts? - Baby, what was it? - It's Stone Cold. It's Stone Cold. - No, I know. - Why did you say Stone Cold? - It's Stone Cold. - It's Stone Cold. - Oh, sorry, we're on the podcast. - That's why, yeah, we're not having fun anymore. - That's why there's dinner because I thought you made a mistake. - I was like, why'd you ask you to do a fun way? - You have fun. Why'd you ask Cold Stone, oh, was it still cold? We don't do that here, we don't have fun here. - Are you really asking? - I haven't been a cold stone creamer yet forever. I haven't had it in a long time. - I haven't had it since before I moved to LA. - Yeah, me neither. - I did, I ordered some, I ordered some pints of ice cream a few weeks ago. - What are we talking about? - You, I ordered a place called Handles. - Yes, Handles is so fun. - I'd never had it before. Spencer talked about it and I was like, I gotta try this. And I ordered, they had a banana cream pie ice cream. - Not eat. - And a one called Graham Central Station. - What? - And it was a Graham Cracker flavored ice cream with bits of Graham Cracker in it. - Uh-oh. - Or something else. And it was truly insane. - So you more of a cream pie guy or a station guy? - I don't know, man. They're both so good. Honestly, I wish I could have gotten them as a combo. Crazy combo. - You could. - I know, but well, I had two different pints. How long did it take, 'cause I could be honest, a couple weeks ago about this? - It takes me a while to, I'm good at stopping myself. - You're a one and done. - Bless me, brother. - Bless that I'm like, oh, I could take a pint down in one sitting. It's more than I'm like, I don't wanna take the pint down 'cause I want more for tomorrow. So like, I'm good at like kinda scooping up. Go ahead, he's a future man. - I get like a good four different sittings out of a pint. - Four. - Yeah. - I'm kinda with you. - I'm good at it. I'm like, good at self-restraint for it. Just 'cause I'm like, I want more tomorrow. I don't wanna run out of this fever. So I go, you know, back and forth. - So you're a psycho, huh? - I'm a psycho. Well, I just am thinking that I'm a professional ice cream meter. Oh, well, we've had this debate of like desserts and ice creams number one. - I'm a professional creamer. And so when I go after it, what's the sock for, you know? - Yeah, yeah. - That's how I keep a sock on me. (laughs) - And he gets it, he gets it got a cream. (laughs) - But anyway. - I have nowhere to go. I can't do it anywhere. - He's over there talking about, he's about the cream. - I don't know if it's not here. - This is bra. - All right, and we don't have bra anymore. - I know. - Yeah, I'll fix it. - We ran out of bra. - Yeah, fix it. - We go to cold soda, like, sorry, we're out of bra. - Okay, so you're a professional creamer, man. - And I just eat a lot of ice cream. I, what I've been doing is, like, if I have a pint, that's probably like a two-sitter or maybe a three. - Okay. - If I were streaming myself. - Yeah, yeah, yeah. - But what's sitting is, that's gonna hurt. - I mean, to be honest, I want to see you do two things. Take, whoa, a whole pint of ice cream to the face and then do a hundred-bush. (laughs) - Oh! - Without throwing up. - Me just throwing up while doing a bunch of. (laughs) (laughs) - Oh, thank you to Graham, such as Asian. (laughs) You've been at a cream pie station. - Handles, but I just have a lot of ice cream thoughts and that's one of them. - Yeah. - You gotta, I mean, you just gotta enjoy your life, you know? And I'll say that one of the things I've been doing recently is a poor man's afogado, where you take-- - Ah, oh, afogados are so fucking good. - That's probably like the best ice cream thing to have. - Yeah, it's crazy. - But what I'll do is, you get a little vanilla ice cream. - Hmm, okay, you got a little vanilla ice cream. - Okay. - Okay, a little bit of, uh-oh, instant coffee. - What? - Sprinkle instant coffee over vanilla ice cream and then a little bit of sea salt, a little bit of sea salt flakes. And then you've got, basically, you go and you get a little bit of the crunch of the instant coffee thing, but then it immediately becomes sweet and creamy by the ice cream and then it melts into like a poor man's afogado because you're adding, you're basically adding instant coffee to the thing, so it does a really good job of making a complex dessert at a something simple. - But wait, are you, whoa! - Are you putting hot liquid into the instant coffee to make, 'cause an affogado has the full liquid espresso. - Correct, that's why it's the poor man's afogado. - So it's like, basically, you just do the dust, but then in your mouth, it creates the coffee. - Interesting. - 'Cause like an affogado melts that, but then it goes away. - Yeah. - This is like doing two of them. - Kind of the melting, I kind of like it sometimes. I was like a little like, fucked up part of it. - I don't like the melting part. - I, it's funny thing about an affogado. I didn't know what it was. Like, I would see it on like, cafe, like, I'd be like, oh, an affogado, and I would see like, you know, Restretto, affogado, Americano, whatever. So one time I went to a coffee shop, it's luckily like 11 a.m. on like, a Sunday. And I go, I'll get an affogado. What is, I didn't ask what it was. I didn't care. I was like, I'll get that. 'Cause I'm like, oh, I'll get a cortado or whatever. And I'm like, I'll get an affogado. And they bring me ice cream with espresso. And Courtney was like, oh my god. And I was like, well, it's what I'm having. And I truly were like walking around. I was just like, I got this this kind of great. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It luckily was the perfect time. I wasn't driving anywhere. We were walking. I was like, this is awesome. Thank God you weren't driving. Oh, yeah, driving after an affogado? Oh, cool. I'd have been in prison. Guys, I've taken a dip cone to go in my car. What? I have, and it was a hot summer day. And boy, oh boy, is that thing leaking? That is, I can't remember the last time I ordered a cone somewhere. Can? I'm cone. And I love cones. I just hate inconvenience. And I hate stuff getting on my hands. Me too, but I love a cone. There's a thing about a dip cone is if you get a dip cone in Los Angeles, you think you're going to be able to eat that thing slow. But you're really, when you get one bite in, the shell, once the shell cracks, it's like falling apart in front of your eyes and you've got to, you've got it. And so I remember getting in me like, this is so nice. Dip cone it went. It was in my car and I was like, you've got to go and go, a little bite and it was like, I have to eat this in the next 30 seconds. You have to eat it so fast. Everything is gone. Crush. Yeah. Horribly wrong. I had to. You're doing crowd control that thing, you're like, I worked on that for probably 10 minutes. You were really, you really built that? I really built that. There wasn't a lot of letters. A far. That's perfect. I wanted to sound like you were really far away. Is our sound bird, board working? Sound bird. To go back, I think the word that I am like you lately, I forgot we were in word of mouth. By the way. What? We went down an ice cream hole. So guy, we talked about so much. What was your word again? It was beautiful. Beautiful. Oh my God. Hey, baby. Yeah, my thing has been walking up to random women going, hey, baby, you're beautiful. Hey, baby, you're beautiful. Stay longer. Yeah. Stay longer. Stay longer, baby. I want you to come over here, check out me and my quib. Did you say stay longer, baby? Stay longer, baby. Hey, stay longer, baby. I think we're saying stay longer, like Willie Wonka. Stay longer. Willie or won't he? Wonka edition. Jesus. Um. Uh, crazy. What? What's the word? What's the word? Do you want to go? I can go. Hey. Don't point that guy to me. Okay, so my word, uh, it's okay if there's not one. No, there definitely is. You know a word that I'm loving, uh, I've been loving this for the past few months, Sonder. I have not heard you say that literally. Sonder. I don't say it a lot. There's not many opportunities to say Sonder. Yeah. Because what does it mean? So Sonder is the kind of understanding that every person you see, every passerby, when you look at a crowd of all these people at every single individual has their own life and own experiences and is going through a whole day, just like yours. And I know that sounds like, oh, everyone's like, yeah, that's obvious. But like it's the really like contemplating that and understanding that and, uh, how deep and intense that you break that while he was talking. I mean, it is currently breaking her mic for the first time you're saying something like kind of heartfelt. I'm like, yeah, you don't really kind of opening up for the first time in this episode. Yeah. It's really nice. Break it. Yeah. So anyways, that's, um, that's probably the word that I think about a lot. Yeah. Uh, that's it. Yeah. I like that. That's it. That's it. That's it. That's it. Yeah. That's it. That's it. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. That's it. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Curtis Connor and Jenny Nicholson. Yeah. Honestly. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. No, but we got us. Um, Amanda. Okay. Sonder. Very nice. Um, minus. No lame. No, I really mean it. That was, yeah, brutal. Back in middle school. Yeah, dang. I meant it. Yeah. I thought that story was awesome. You. You. You. You in the front. You behind. You behind. Lunch. Ladies. It's sloppy. Jota. Lunch. Ladies. And you know what to do. Let's get sloppy. Lunch. Ladies. Let's get it. I hope you like them sloppy. Hey, I made them extra sloppy for you. If I might. You just need to see the lunch, ladies. With a whole school watching. No, literally. They're just like. One kid throws up. He's like. A lot. I want to go home. They. Mom picked me up. And I'm just like. They have an assembly about the next day. Right. Like I'm sure a lot of you have a lot of questions. So the incident. About what was going on. The grind line that should have never happened. I'm sitting there with a principal like. The end of it for it. In school. You are suspended. Somehow a student gets in trouble. We thought the lunch, ladies. We're going to shop. Bro and but they had every intention to grind. Yeah. They needed help. Holy shit. The grind line. I'm going to go home. The grind line. I needed to be longer than it was, it was too short. - Oh God, dude. - Anyways, that's my word. - Yeah, what's your word? - Sick. - That's sick. - Not, yeah, not. - I do say that a lot. - I do say that's sick. I'm like sick. - Yeah. - Sick. - Dude, sick. - Is it facetious? Or do you actually think stuff is sick? - I actually mean that it's sick. - Yeah. - Yeah. - Cool. - Do you sometimes say it facetiously? - Patitiously? - Patitiously. - You know what, I patitiously say sick. - Some times, I actually do, I'll be like sick. That's a joke. But I mean sick usually. - Cool. - But I don't text it. Because when I text it, it looks really dumb. - Really? - That's sick. - I text sick. - You would? - Yeah. - I'd be like, was someone saying, oh yeah. - No, you text nice. You go nice. - I do nice a lot, yeah. - Nice. - And I have to really tell myself that you're saying like nice. - Yeah. - Like nice. - Yeah, well, yeah. Sometimes somebody like, yeah, nice. - You look like you've been sobbing. - I have. (laughing) - Sick. - Yeah, I was thinking about this. - You know, I said, "Saunderd," I was contemplating the lives of everyone. - Yeah. - And that's when you, so it's basically like, you're a part of a world where there's many different stories. - It's just like, oh my God, like, to think like, wow. Like, you drive fast, you just see like, a person walking down the street. And you're just like, that person's like, going through a whole day and has a whole life and a whole complicated story. - That's beautiful. - And it's really like, it's hard to, it's, we all have empathy, but like, it's hard to actually contemplate that it's like, like, eight billion lives are being lived. And I've been having this feeling where like, so we've been making this like, late night food thing. - Yeah. - So basically, I interact with people at a restaurant like after hours, and it's really open. We interview them, like, people that are eating late night. And when I do that, it has opened up my vision of like, restaurants and also just late night culture to be like, oh, every single person has something very interesting about them. I just have to ask. - Yeah. - And you're like, you look at a crowd of people and you're like, actually, like, I was originally not going to talk to this person, but then I talked to them and they were like, just went through a breakup. And they actually have all these hopes and goals and aspirations. And it's been so rewarding in a song. - Exactly, I love that. - Exactly. No, your show is fantastic. - Oh. - That's very nice. - How many diners have you done now? - So we've done four, or no, so we've done eight episodes. And then a couple of them are maybe still releasing when this comes out. Diners, I think we've done three diners. - Oh, but it's just 24/7 place. - It's 24/7, so we've done a couple donut shops. We did Tommy's Burgers. - No. - We're just thinking outside. We did one in San Francisco. We just went up there and did, that was like this cool restaurant of the Castro. - Are you walking up to these people and being like, hey, can I talk to you for a second? - Yeah, so we usually will get, now that we've been doing for a little bit, we like get the restaurant beyond board and because we're usually inside. - Yeah, yeah. - First we did like a donut shop that was outside, it was like kind of a funeral. But now it's like, we'll get the restaurant to be on board, we'll interview their staff and their owners if those people are interested. And then I go up to the people that are eating. And I usually say like, hey, how's it going? We're shooting a show called Graveyard Chips about people that are eating out after midnight at 24 hour restaurants. We're interviewing some of the patrons, like would you be interested in asking, you know, answer the question. - Wow. - And what time typically are you getting there? And like how long do we arrive at around 11.30? - Damn. We get set up, we meet the staff to make sure they're comfortable. Then we get the intro shot outside. And then, or we'll do B-roll first or something, so then we just get it out of the way. 'Cause basically the thing is, how can we sustain the latest thing we shoot? We kind of want to be the food? 'Cause that's like me alone. And then I want to shoot the interviews around one to two. 'Cause it's like, I want to be the most, you know, away. - Sorry, phone is blowing under me. - How are you doing that? - And then it's, I mean, it's totally brutal. And then I have young kids who usually-- - I was gonna say. - Waking up, and my lovely wife is covering for me in the morning. The next morning, 'cause I will usually get home at three. - Three. - And then probably won't go to bed to like 3.30. Because I just am wired. - You're in a while. - And I've been calving caffeine and I've been drinking coffee. - I mean, how are you going to bed at 3.30? I would think like four or five. - Yeah, sometimes it's four. I mean, it's like, it depends on how long it takes me to get sleep. Sometimes I'm too wired and I can't get down to four. - Yeah. - But it's such a, it's a show that I was talking to a friend of mine. He was like, I really like it, but I think that you're immediately gonna start being like, why the fuck did I choose to do a show at midnight? - Yeah. - But it's like a great premise. I mean, that's the problem. - It's so fun though. - Do you have a, okay, so out of all those, is there one that you like, the food? Was your favorite? - Oh God. - I mean, so much good food. We did, I love Astro Diner. Is one of my favorite dishes? - Oh, yes. I love Astro. - In Echo. - Oh no, it's-- - It's in, it's over like-- - In Silver Lake. - And it's just this really iconic, kind of dreamy-looking diner. - It's one of those things like living in LA, and I mean, it's the case for a lot of states, but like being like, man, I wanna go to more diners. - Astro is great. - But sometimes you go to diners and you're like, this fucking sucks. - I know, and they're really hit or miss. - The thing about the 24 hour ones is that usually they got a pretty dialed because they can afford to keep staff through the night. - That's what I was thinking. - So like often the food is better there, 'cause they're like, this is down to a hard science. We know, you know, how to make this. We know how to like, all the systems are kind of engineered really perfectly. We also did Sun Nung Don in Koreatown, which is like soup and beef and stuff. There's one dish they set fire to. - Wait, I think I've been there. - Whoa! - It's great, it's great. - Yeah, I've been there. - And then our finale, I mean, spoiler, but is at Orphanandes in San Francisco when we went up. And it was like this like, really cool diner where, not even done, just cool restaurant where there's like Christmas lights all everywhere. And it's 'cause the two owners are this couple and they were like, yeah, we put Christmas lights up for Christmas and we take 'em down and then we just decided to stop taking them down. So it's like really vibing like all of that. And it's, yeah, open up. - What's the food, what's the type of food that you're eating there? - It's like Americana at that place like that. Like, you know, great wings, great like burgers, great fries, I guess. - Are you ever doing like sweets like pancakes? - Oh yeah, we do. I usually do like breakfast lunch dessert as well. - Are you sitting with them? - Man, you gotta feel pretty fucked up. (laughing) - I mean, that one, yeah, we were also like, we flew up for the day and then we shot it. We all stayed in the hotel and then flew the next morning. - Wow. - So it was like a brutal. - Yeah, but it's kind of epic, it's kind of romantic. - It's become so addictive too 'cause it's so fun. And then I get to eat all this delicious food. - Oh, of course. - Like the question mark of who will we happen upon is always so great. Like we'll meet people that are just totally interesting and that will become a part of the fabric of that episode. - Yeah. - And we can repeat it as many times as we can go to new 24 hour restaurants. What's the most fascinating thing or story that someone has told you in a nutshell? - Ooh. - Like in all of your these episodes. - We just did one that comes out, probably by the time this is out, that'll be out at Norm's restaurant. And there were two servers who had been off shift from another restaurant and they came there 'cause they didn't want to go to sleep yet. - Yeah, of course. - And we were talking to them and one of them was just like, yeah, I just went through a big breakup and she was just being really vulnerable. She's like, I moved here to be an actor and like, I don't know how I'm gonna make a work and like, I just feel like love is so hard. And it was like, it's not that was interesting, but no, but it's like so hard, it real. People are really open at that hour. Like, I think it's partially like the fun of the show is that that late at night, it kind of feels magical. - Yeah, because everyone's asleep and it's kind of like these are secrets. - I was gonna say also, there's something, I know it's such sad, like that's such rough, but there is a, I don't know how people are gonna take this, but like, there is a beauty to heartbreak. - Totally, especially at a diner at 2 a.m. It's just like, oh, there's something like poetic and yet so lovely. Like, yeah, I don't know. - And also, I think it's necessary. I think it's important to experience heartbreak. You kind of have to go through it. And I think what's so cool about a late night thing is that it almost feels like there, no one knows about it. Like, everyone's asleep, no one's around. So it's kind of like a little moment in time that is so sweet and precious. And nobody knows what's happening. - Yeah. - Okay, okay. (laughing) - It's so sweet and precious. - Sweet and precious. Anyway, our serious podcast quota, we've hit it. So anyways, back to the fucking grind, I can hit it. - Wait, so what is this show called again? - Graveyard Shift. - Graveyard Shift, okay. - Yeah, there should be somewhere between four and eight episodes out. - And is it on your stuff? - Yes, and on your YouTube? - Oh, yeah, some of your YouTube channels. - Okay, cool. You have perfect person then you have your YouTube channel. - Yeah, there's two, yeah. Perfect person is a podcast and then my YouTube channel, we do like different, right now this year, we've tried to do like, what are different shows we can do and do like episodes that? - You did Justice Miles. - We did do an email. - Oh, that was so good. - It was a treasure. - Oh, dude, you put-- - You also had your wife. - Am I lively wife? - No, no, no, I've killed it. You had Damien. - And Damien. - And then you had Anna? - Yeah, Anna Garcia. Real people, we cast real people with disagreements with each other. And then we give them comedian lawyers to represent their cases in a courtroom, and then I am the judge. So it was like, you know-- - You put Damien in the perfect position. - You're so funny. - So funny. - And he is, dude, he just can be on fire. - Yeah, he was incredible. I mean, yeah. And he just put on his, he had like, he looked like the devil in a like-- - Oh, yeah. - Like a red shirt and he thought it was perfect. - So good. - Yeah, hopefully we'll make more of those when we're the end of the YouTube. It was also like, that did super well. And I was like, oh wow, like, this is also a really repeatable format. - Yeah. - Yeah. - To get real people in there. I think also in the next season I wanna have a jury of real people. So it was like-- - Yes. - To be what people were missing. They were like, we want an audience to this chaos. - Oh yeah. - So having like six real people like, a really old woman and like a Gen Z team and they get to decide who, - If the case-- - Old woman's just like this all the time? - Yes, she's just like, "I have a sleep." And we have the jury to liberate, and you know-- - I love it. - That's too-- - So good. - She's having fun over there, man. - Yeah. - Trying to have fun? - Man, I wish we were having fun, you know? - I wish we really are having fun at that time. - No, we really are. - I wish we were horrible time. - Two cans. - You got a two-can right here. - And there was one over here, but I think you knocked it on the tap. - Oh, and then there's one up over there. And is the two-can, is the two-can, is that what's thematically-- - So it started, it was Spencer, who actually came up with this. Amanda was wearing a sweater that had two two cans on it. And then Spencer said, "Get your two cans out." And then-- - And I did, and we cut all of it. (laughing) - Yes. - Release the two-can. - I released them and boy, did it feel good? What a weight off my back, you know what I'm saying? (laughing) - And we just cut to commercial. - And so the fans have just latched onto that and then-- - Yeah, they love it. So now we have a lot of cute little two cans. - You never know what the fans are gonna like. That's the new phrase. - Yeah. - You never know. - Never know. - The latch in there. - Oh, yeah, they really take it off. - It's pretty sick. - Well, I mean, we've got her on Bay. - Oh, yeah. - It's always looking at me. - He's always looking at me. - He knows I would fight for him. - Yeah. - Oh, God. - Anyways. - Well. - Ooh, nasty. - What a good episode. I really love this. - This has been fully a fever dream. - And you're incredible. - Nice. - I can't wait to have you back. Maybe on May and again, where we could play ridiculous characters or any time. - Happy to come back for anything. You guys are the best. Don't think of having me like this. - Of course. - Of course. - And of course. - You guys rock. - That one is dwindling. Selena is getting tired. - Yeah. - The fair horn is on its deathbed. - Selena is done. - And that's fine. - Anyways. - Alright, well, Miles, thank you so much for joining us. - Yeah, check out Miles, Miles, YouTube, and-- - Miles, YouTube. - I missed you, YouTube. Miles, YouTube. - Just search Miles. - Just search Miles, YouTube, and smell what the rock is called. (laughs) - You know what? We'll link it below, so shut up. - Alright. - Alright guys. - Sonder off. Goodbye. - Bye guys. - Love you. (upbeat music)