1.14 Awkward Situations

(upbeat music) - Hello, welcome to the Middlescombe mind podcast and we are super, super awkward today. - Okay, what are we talking about today? - Awkwardness. - Like socially awkwardness? - Yeah, mostly. - What does it mean to be awkward? Like how are you defining that? - Well, my version of awkward is something like, it's probably something like where you're uncomfortable, but it's more in an uncomfortable way 'cause it's like something like don't wanna do or it's just something in a situation that like throws you off guard and you're uncomfortable. So it's, so you feel awkward. What do I do in the scenario? Like you've been thrown off guard and you're uncomfortable, but, and being awkward is more like what do you do? You can't react and if you do like nothing, that's like the feeling of being awkward. Like if you walked in on seeing a turtle and a rat kissing, that'd be super random and off guard. And you, and you, and like, and they stare at you and you just say nothing, that, you'd feel awkward. 'Cause you'd be like, what-- - Do you say a turtle and a rat? - Yeah, turtle and rat, turtle and rat. - Do you think that's ever happened in the history of the world? - I bet, I can bet it probably has happened. - But they weren't kissing, I bet you they were eating one was eating the other. - Well, I mean, I mean, rats can eat the turtle and turtles are herbivores. So I don't think either of those ideas are possible. Ha, ha. - I bet you a rat could. - But turtles have shells. - Could it give you eating on like a dead turtle's neck? See, this sounds awkward. See, this is why. - Having the discussion. - See, I did not specify that it's dead. I just said a turtle, not dead, turtle, turtle. - A turtle kissing a rat. - Yeah, that'd be awkward. - Okay. - Yeah, take my hand. - So are there different, so it's like, are you defining awkward as like? - It depends on mostly the scenario to feel awkward. - But like, were you're frozen? You're like, my mind is not processing seeing this turtle and this rat kissing one another. So I'm frozen or you're just like, oh, this is like a physical tingle. - It's like when your head goes empty and you're in a situation where you have to like, do something. - Or nothing. You can just leave. You can be like, get a room turtle. - And rat. So like, it's like my head empty. I mean, like, what would you think of if you saw a turtle and rat making out? - Again, I don't think it's physically possible or it would ever happen. - But if you did. - So I think we, you know, it doesn't, it's less awkward than it feels more sci-fi at this point because it doesn't even possible. - I was just giving you a fake situational scenario. - Fake situation. Okay, all right, I'll buy that. But. - If you did. - I mean, there's plenty in times in my life where I've been in awkward situations. Yeah. Usually it involves like me, like in a work situation asking someone like, oh, hey, how's your husband or girlfriend or your significant other? Haven't heard about them in a while. What's new with you guys? And then usually a long pause. And if it's really an awkward situation, someone starts crying and says, oh, Kiri and I aren't together anymore. - And then, and then I'm just like, so sorry. I am very, very sorry. - And then you're just embarrassed. - Yeah, so that to me is an awkward situation. - Yeah, usually when you're awkward, then you just become embarrassed. Like awkward and embarrassed are kind of like the same feeling a bit sometimes. - Yeah. Okay, well, we have three situations for that we're gonna ponder and for you all to also ponder. Like if you want after this episode, maybe email us about what you think, like you would do in the scenario compared to us. So here's the first situation. - First awkward situation. - And or scenario. - And or scenario. - So you're in a bathroom and usually this is more for men thing. Like so and there are three urinals. There are three urinals and the two ends of the urinals are both are both being used already. Do you go in the middle urinal or just do you go in the middle urinal? That's the question. That's the awkward situation. Like it would be awkward if you went there, but it still would be awkward even if you didn't. Just like you're staring at them and waiting for them to leave. But also it'd be awkward if you go in the middle urinal 'cause you risk a chance of getting in their personal space. And it's like- - Well, not really because it's only, I've been in some bathrooms with urinals are close. - Yeah, but like usually when there's like, when you have to be in the middle of those two other guys and you're that guy in the middle, you're probably gonna have a high chance of being in their personal space. - I don't know if that's necessarily awkward. I mean, there's some, you're some bathrooms where they have like a divider, right? - Yeah, those things. - So physical divider thing. I mean, I would totally go in it. If I really need to go to the bathroom, I'm gonna go take that middle spot. Yeah, why? - No, I just wait. - You need to go to the bathroom. There's no big deal. - I know, but thank you. - Those two guys are going to the bathroom. - They could probably take like another two seconds and then I'll go when they're done. - Then why don't they just build two urinals if it's that awkward a situation? - 'Cause then it's never gonna be a good situation. You're always gonna have to be right next to someone no matter what. You need multiple options. - You don't have to, right? Like if there was only two urinals. - If there was one guy just at the end and then there were two open and you made the choice to go to the middle one. So you could be like next to the guy. That'd be awkward. But if there's two taken up and then the middle's free, I don't know, I don't see this as an awkward situation. - I think it is. - It's all bodily functions, man. Everybody pees. - Yeah, but you could like wait like two seconds for them and then go. - You know what would make it an awkward situation? - What? - You got the two guys. - And one of them says something. - No, you have the two guys going pee in the two side ones. - One is the pants all the way down. - And then some, that's pretty awkward too. - That's like always a thing. Like no matter where you are at school, especially in the boys bathroom, 'cause it's usually only in the boys. You're just like in the urinal. And then there's that one kid who just never knew and he's always having his pants fall down. (laughing) - Even in middle school. - I just walk in there and then I'll see. And then I'll walk out and hold him. - He doesn't walk in and it's just butts and you're like, let's go. - I see the butt and then I just walk downstairs. It takes like another, it takes like another four minutes to actually go to the bathroom. But hey, I'd rather deal with that. Then just have that near me. - So when I see that happen, it's usually because the kid is under five years old, right? They're with their dad. But you're talking about a kid who's 12. - In middle school. - Puts his pants all the way down. - Usually it's the kids who need like. - Special needs? - Yeah. But like, hey, still, it's still uncomfortable. - Yeah, but I mean, they need some extra help. So it's fine. - It makes sense, but still it just feels awkward for the same, and if they say hi to you when you leave, it's like. - Yeah, but what can you do? You can just be friendly. But you're right, that does sound awkward. - It does. - No, but my example I was gonna say was, you got the two guys going P in the left and right year and all, and then you got a guy who goes and poops. (laughing) In the middle year and all. - Yeah, yeah, yeah. - You can't do that properly in a year and all. - Dude, elementary school had like the worst bathroom care. People were in swears in the stalls. - Yeah, that happens everywhere. - We actually had two instances of people pooping in the urinals. (laughing) I reported like 10 times to the office. 10 times, like 10 times of pencils in the urinals. - But not poop. - No, no pencil, just pencils. Just like, someone would shove like five pencils under a single urinal. And I'd be like, hey, there are pencils in there. I don't know if you want to take it out. And then the best thing last year was they had to give people bathroom schedules. They'd be like, you have to tell us when you sign out to go to the bathroom and sign in. 'Cause they had like 10 instances in my fifth grade of kids who literally just messed up the bathroom's partying from yours. - Partying? - Yeah. - Wasn't there a big thing about stealing, stealing in TikTok, wasn't that last year? - No, that was, no, this was my first year of middle school. Last year it was just, they didn't talk about messing up all the bathrooms. - That's crazy. - Yeah, it was stupid. - I remember it in college when I lived in the dorms, every Friday, actually not Friday, every Saturday morning or Sunday morning, I'd wake up, use the bathrooms, and inevitably someone thought it'd be really hilarious to go poop in the urinal. - Oh, who claimed it? Who claimed it? Who was like the dog owner? - No, the poor janitor guys. I'm sure that guy hated going into the bathrooms every Saturday and Sunday because sure enough, one guy would decide after he had too many drinks on Friday or Saturday that it'd be a great idea to go poop in the urinal. - See, that's why they need cameras in bathrooms. - No, they don't. - Sure, he'll make kids uncomfortable. Like, hey, you don't have them pooping in the bathroom. - Oh, they don't, that's all right. I think we've had enough potty humor. Bathroom urinal, do you think it's awkward? I think the situation described, and it's possible. - Yeah, okay, the second awkward scenario, the greatest awkward scenario, or like the second greatest. You're like, so you're, have you ever seen the movie "Saw"? - I have not seen the movie "Saw". I've just heard the plot. - Okay. - So, the whole plot's like these people, they could put in like danger traps. They're like, if they don't complete, they like die. So like, if you were put, so it's more of a bonding activity, it's like you're put in a room with your coworkers, there's like four, maybe five of you, and it's like an escape room, except for it's a blank, it's a blank escape room. And like, the whole point is, so like, you don't know this, but like, the Game Masters know it. The whole point of it is for you guys to just hug, and they give you hints like, love, kindness, all the Game Masters. - Is this really the movie "Saw"? - No, I said it was the thing where people get put in dangerous scenarios, and then end of time. It's basically, but like, they get put in weird rooms, and by weird rooms, I just met a blank room here in the scenario. And like, so like, it's like, they give you like thoughts, and like, when someone figures out that you have to hug each other, what would you do? You work just with your five coworkers, each member has to hug each member. So like, so like, there's five, there's four or five of you, each member has to hug each member, four, that's like 16, five, that's like 25 hugs, and it's like, what would you do? Would you actually hug everyone, or would you just do something else? - This is not a real scenario you're talking about. - No, but it's like a fake one that I still would think ended up being awkward. If you hug them, there's gonna be that one person who's not going to, and if you don't, well, I mean, everyone's gonna think you're weird, or like, think that you don't like them. - I'm just trying to think of how this is a real situation. - I'm trying, dad. - I mean, I think maybe we could say that it's awkward. I mean, some people are not huggers, right? Some people don't like being like their physical space, right? Their physical space being like encroached upon, so hugs and-- - So then it's like awkward to them like, I can't leave this room unless I hug everyone. I don't like to hug people. - Yeah. Are you saying you yourself don't like to hug people? - I kind of like hugging people, like only like really close people. I wouldn't just go hug random, I wouldn't go hug my coworkers, I would punch them in the face. - So I was at a trade show for work this past week, and I'd seen a bunch of people who I haven't seen in forever because of COVID. So I like to shake hands, but I don't really like to hug, I'm not a hugger, especially when it's like a coworker that's female. I don't know, it's just weird doing me, right? I can shake your hand just like I can shake everybody's. But some people I saw at the show were like, "Oh my God, I haven't seen you forever." And then they're like hugging their friends and stuff, and then I'm like, "I don't know." So that's kind of, yeah, that could be awkward, right? 'Cause you don't know what to do, you know? Like someone's trying to shake your hand, and then you go on for the hug, and then you do like the half bro shake hand hug. - It's like the high five fist bump thing where it's like, - Right, yeah. - Where it's like, where you just like punch their hand and then they're like, "Why did you do that?" - It's like, it's like, "How dare you." It's like, punch fist bump, it's like high five, no. - So maybe instead of your hypothetical, you got a hug 25 co-worker, it's just physical space. Like how do people like encroach on your physical space? - My nose. - That could be awkward. - Yeah, it wouldn't be awkward. - Because some people are gonna be like, not comfortable with this. And some people will be like, "What? "How dare you not take my hug?" I see your hug and I raise you to a full embrace. What else you got for this one? - Okay. - Are you done with this one? - No, no, no, no, oh wait, oh, oh. - You're done with the hug. - Oh yeah, I'm done. - Like lots of hug and bear. - Lots of hugging bear was a good villain. And also it was really weird sounding. - The fact that he's old book, he was kind of-- - I thought he was great. - Yeah, he was a great actor and he's a great villain. He's really well written. - Yes. - Time for the third awkward situation. Six, six-u-ation. - Okay. - Sitch, sitch. - What's your last awkward situation? - You don't wanna know or will do, you probably-- - They're listening, so they wanna know. - Are you sure you want to know? - I wanna know. - Okay, so the third awkward situation. The one that's most awkward. Two people you've met that one time in third grade got married and sent you an invitation. What's you gonna do? What's you gonna do? Reply to them in email, no? Or what's you gonna do? You're gonna say yes and no, no one there because they were from third, 'cause they got married and they were people you knew in third grade and only third grade. - So I'm kind of chalking this one to wedding invitations from long lost friends. - Yeah, pretty much. - Let me think about that. - Like, what do you do? You don't remember their name. You don't remember anything about them other than like their nice or something or their like sports when they were the age where you were friends. And it's like, what do I do? Should I go to your wedding and no, no one there? Or should I just not go? Well, I think it's awkward for them 'cause you're feeling like, hey, you know what? - But like, they're the ones who remember you. You just don't remember them. - But you would figure that, let's just say, let's just say you knew them in middle school, right? You're what, gonna be 12? And let's say you get an invitation 12 years from now when you're 24 from your two classmates that you sat next to and they're getting married. But you haven't heard from them in 12 years. - Yeah, what do you do? - Like you're gonna be like, who are these guys? - They're like, they like emailed you a ton but you never responded. - Yeah, I don't know, I just, you're right. Is it awkward? I don't know, for me, like awkward means like, you gotta like deal with it in a social situation. If you get a random wedding invite, you could just say, no, thank you, I'm not gonna be able to go. Have a great wedding. - Oh, that's so mean. - That's so mean, they haven't talked to you in 12 years. - They invited you to their wedding. What if they don't have many friends? And I'm like, you remember that guy that we sat to in social studies? He was cool. - If they don't have many friends, then you should still go. - No, why should you feel obligated to go for people that you haven't talked to in 12 years? - Because it's the right thing to do. - No, friendship should be like a regular thing. Like you may not have to see everybody every day or talk to them every day, but like, it shouldn't be like that dude. Remember, what's his name again? - Yeah, yeah. - Ricky. - Ricky. - Yeah. - He was the best, do you remember when we went to that? - That one time that we met Ricky's dad. Let's invite him too. - He had turkey sandwiches that day. - Yeah. - Turkey sandwich guy. - And he bought us a turkey sandwich too. - Yeah. I don't know, I don't think that's super awkward, but maybe our listeners can tell us. - Well, I find it awkward if I got invited to a wedding and didn't know like, pretty much who invited me. 'Cause then I'd just go over there and be like, happy wedding, Lord Janine. - Lord Janine, is that a person? - The legitimate, Tracy, Jessica. I'm just guessing the name like, so. - No, you have their invite. They have their names on their invite. - Do they? - Yes. - That's just what their initials like, like R and J. - No, no. - It's like, sup Raj? - No. - Okay. - They would be like, blah, blah, blah, son of blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. - Robert and Jessica. - Is marrying blah, blah, blah, the son and daughter, whatever. - Oh, Jesus Christ. - Wow. - Hey. - You know some people in the, in high places. - I know I do. I know, I know so many. I know Jeff Bezos. I'm kidding. - Email me. I will play Dungeons and Dragons with you. That's, I don't know if something's coming out. Before this one, I'm pretty sure. - Yes, it is. - Yeah, it has, it probably already has come out. - But we all put a link to the D&D episode. - Yeah. - That's a pretty fun one. So I, so these are your examples, right? - What's yours? - Bathroom, physical space, you know, huggers and then the wedding presentations from long lost friends. So I have two, I have two. - I got one. - Bonus ones. - Ready? Ready for mine? One. - Uh-huh. - It's super awkward. - Okay. - When you run into your teacher outside of school. - No, I love my teachers. They're so nice. - They're so nice, but it's still kind of weird seeing them out of their element. Like they're not getting paid when you run into them at. - Hey, I'm not really surprised. I mean, like most people's like, probably like kindergartners would be like, wait, teachers don't live at school. And then be like, well, I have a teacher, like a very close personal teacher right now. And I know that they have personalized. So I'm like, I mean, when I see them out of school, I'm not really surprised. I'm fine with it. - Well, so I remember growing up, growing up, I had a sixth grade teacher. She's probably not teaching anymore. Maybe, maybe she's not even live anymore. But, you know, she worked at my school. She was my sixth grade, you know, teacher, homeroom teacher, all that stuff. And then I remember going to the mall one weekend and there she was. Here's my teacher working at a bookstore. - Oh yeah. - And so she was... - Maybe she was just volunteering. - No, she needed the money. Like she works for a Catholic school. They didn't really pay that well in the city. And yeah, so that was, and it was just awkward. It was just awkward because it's just like, all right, we'll see you. We'll see you on Monday, Miss Jay. And she was just like, yeah, I got another six hours in my shift here before I get three hours for myself on the weekend. It was just kind of sad, you know? So that was kind of sad. - It's more sad than awkward, dad. And it's just your scenario. Mine is just like, I like my teachers, they're nice. - No, I liked her too. She was great, but it was just like, I feel really bad that, you know, the kids are kind of jerks in school and class. And then you got to work a seven, eight hour shift at the bookstore on the weekend. - Yeah. - Very sad, very sad. - Teachers could get the weekend off you. - You would hope? - Yeah. - But Miss Jay did not. She was working at the bookstore. - Is like a Catholic school, like you're like mostly, is it not state funding or like government funding? - It's private school, so. - Oh, so. - A lot of tuition. - Like everything is just the parents mostly. - Tuition, yeah, they do a lot of fundraisers. Like you got to sell chocolate bars and popcorn and a bunch of other stuff, so. - Hey, I sell popcorn. - And they don't pay their teachers really well. So it's kind of a, it's kind of a, you know, it wasn't a great situation. So that was super awkward. (upbeat music) And then the last awkward thing, I remember when I was probably six grade, so I was in middle school and I was talking, it would seem like pretty much every night to this girl, Heather Stone, if you're listening, Heather Stone. Anyway. - Such a weird name. - No, well, she was awesome. So we would talk all the time. I thought like, oh, things are really cool. And then someone, someone from my grade was just like, do you know he likes Heather Stone? And she was in the other sixth grade class, right? So I was in sixth grade class with Ms. J, and then there was another sixth grade class. Then all the chatter happens that I liked Heather Stone, which it did. And then it got back to me that she did not. - Yeah. You got one of the friends though. - Oh, I got friends though. Well, no, that's even worse. Is then, then she just stopped talking to me. So that was super awkward. - I friend zoned, and then she stopped talking to me. - No, and then she stopped talking to me. So that was super awkward, you know, because we went from like talking to each other. - Best buds. - All the time, hashtag besty life to. - So my daughter. - Huh? - You're so my daughter. She's just always like besties. - Well, that was super awkward. It was just like, we went from like chatting all the time, having good conversations to like, oh no, you are dead to me. - Oh. - Super dead. - And all of, well, technically things I didn't fully know. - Yeah. - Even though technically they were right. - Well, and then she was, and then she moved away after sixth grade. So take that Heather Stone. - You didn't have to do. - Damn. - You didn't have to deal with the guilt. - But that was super awkward. Yeah. So those are my examples. - I've just friend zoned myself. And- - How do you do that? - You have someone confess that they like you, and you say, I'm sorry, but I don't feel the same. And you're just like, I want to be friends. And it's like- - So you friend zoned somebody? - Well then they stopped talking to you. - Yeah. That's kind of tough. - I'd rather have friends than being in a relationship. I'm not emotionally mature enough for right now. I'm a living dude. - Oh man. - I am smart. - Yep. You are. - You just admitted to me not being smart. - No, you are smart. I, what did you say? That you're not smart? - I'm not smart. - I think you are. I think you are. All right. Well, this was the awkward episode. What else is awkward? Anything else? Anything else come to mind? For my two examples? - Jeff Bezos not sponsoring us. I'm kidding. But it is- - It is, no, it is- - It's probably awkward for him. It's probably awkward for him just like- - I think it's getting awkward for our listeners that are like, dude, this is your 13th, 14th episode. - You should probably stop. - That guy's going to send all the people from Amazon and Blue for origin coming after us. - Yeah, probably. I feel like it's probably more awkward for him just like how we're always like, hey, sponsor us. And it's all just on this one dude. We shouldn't put it all- - He's the second richest man on earth. Do you know that? - I thought he was the richest. - Elon Musk. - I thought the richest was Bill Gates. - Oh no. I just looked at the list. Bill is probably- - I think he's like 418 billion. - No. I think, I think Jeff has about 180 something billion. Elon has like 230. And then I want to say Bill has like a hundred something. Still a lot of money. - Yeah, there's a lot. - Crazy a lot of money. - Bill Gates is like, he's cool. I bet if I met him, he'd be chill. - Yeah. - Very chill. - Well, I don't think we'll ever meet him. - Are you sure? - Yes. - Maybe we will. Maybe your son becomes a millionaire. - If he becomes a millionaire, then he's just a guy who works for one of, a thousand guys who work for Bill. - Okay. A billionaire. - Well, if you're in that billionaire class, then you could probably hang out with Bill. - Maybe do billionaires hang out with each other? - I don't know. - I know like Elon Musk and Jeff Bezos have like beef with each other. - They do? - Or they argue. Yeah, 'cause they both have like, don't they both have like planet things like- - SpaceX for Elon and then Blue Origin for Jeff. And then there's something else for Richard Branson. - So like, do you think they actually like each other or do you think they're just more- - I think there's- - They're just like, we will compete with each other for richness. - Yeah, I think it's that. - Yeah. - Do you think it's awkward when they're at a dinner table together? And then I believe they're gonna have like dinner, forced dinner because of their fame and- - Maybe it's like an interview or something. They wanna interview both of them. - Yeah. I think it's just like, so SpaceX coming. It's like, good. Just such, just be so awkward like, Blue Origins. We're learning how to fly. - Do you think they're just sitting around in between takes and they're like, yeah, doing this 15 minute break. - I just made about $3 million about you. - And then the like interviewers like, I just made $2. They just like- - In 15 minutes, I hope not. That comes out to like $8 an hour. That's less than a minimum wage. - Well, I don't know how much minimum wage is. Is minimum wage like $12 an hour? - I hope any interviewer who's interviewing Bill and Elon is making more than minimum wage. - But is they making minimum wage? - Well, they should ask for a raise. - They probably should make more than minimum wage 'cause they gotta be up like every second. - Every second. - Yeah, 'cause like dude, the morning show and the news, broadcasters are always like, they're like always on, the news is on all day. So like, they literally never like get to sleep. - Yeah. - Yeah. - All right, we're off track here. - Yeah, sorry. Well, anyways, have a good day or good night. Or if you're watching this while going to sleep, go to bed, it's probably really light for you right now. - If you want to do, in this awkward episode, in an awkward way, how would you do it? - I just secretly farted. I hope none of you can smell it. - They can't. - Are you sure? - Yes. - Maybe in the future, we can actually make technology let you smell. - Not on this episode. - In the future. - All right. - Good day. I just farted. I'm sorry, but not really. - All right, everyone. Goodbye. Thank you for listening. - Bye-bye. - Monster.