13 Everyday Struggles That We NEVER Talk About | Hey Tablo Ep. 29

So random-ass people have begun sending me things I should talk about on Hey Tableau. They're like, "Hey, you should do this next time on Hey Tableau." And they're not like exactly close friends. Some of these people have never texted me in like years. And they send me like a link and they're like, "Look at this, and I'm like, "What is this?" And they're like, "Oh, it's funny. You should talk about it on Hey Tableau." Usually, I'm like, "Yeah, okay, whatever buddy." But there's this one link. I clicked on it and I was like, "What is this?" And I was like, "Hey, you know what? Actually, it would be a pretty good episode." Hey Tableau. It was like a Buzzfeed link. As soon as I saw that it was a Buzzfeed link, I was like, "Okay." Whatever buddy, right? But I clicked on it and I read the whole thing. It's called 50 Things, basically every person on Earth has experienced once in their life, but never, ever, ever, ever talks about. And it's like common human experiences that we all have that we can empathize with. But the first one is me. Hits my elbow on desk. My entire nervous system. Yeah, hitting your elbow on desk is like this part of your elbow. Why did whoever make humans this way? Like, why does that exist? Like, why is biology like this? Why is it that if you hit this part against anything hard, your whole body is like, "Oh, yeah." Why? Why did we make that part? Okay. The second one is, "When I'm four Hans in, and I still can't hear them." And it's a picture of a person like sweating profusely and nervous because I'm assuming because it's like, "Do I ask again? Do I say "Huh again?" Okay, the reason why I identify with this. I go through this with my wife all the time. My wife, Hyejeong, she's very soft-spoken. So whatever is to her, like, high volume to us, is like, inaudible. Okay? No, I kid you not. She's in the living room, okay? I'm in my room, and I'll get a text. And she's like, "I've been calling your name for the last 10 minutes. Why aren't you responding?" And I'm not even listening to AirPods. I didn't hear a thing. But this one time, I had my door open, right? I'm not kidding you. This is how she calls me from the living room. Oppa, and I'm like, "I'm like 30 steps away." And she's like, "Oppa. Oppa." And I'm like, "Huh?" She's like, "Are you going to go tell me?" Huh? Huh? And I'm like, "Three halls in." And I know that if I do another hall, she's going to be like, "Can't you hear me?" Right? So, I have to like, piece together what she said. In that split second, I'm like, "Read her lips. Read her lips." I know you can't read lips, but do it, fucking do it. I need a superpower right now, God. Please give it to me. Like, I can't do another hall. Why, do you have that problem, too? To who? You do it to someone else? Like, huh? Those Mary's also self-spoken. I'm like, "Huh? I also do that a lot, too." And it's because, okay, it's not that my wife is, like, it's not that she's quiet. It's that relatively, how do and I are really loud. We're super loud. So, okay, I'm not like stereotyping, but I am kind of like, "When we're in the States, my wife can't. " She has a hard time over there. Because everyone's kind of loud. Like, we're in an elevator. How do and I are like, "Oh yeah, we should go to that thing. That movie's coming out." And my wife, usually, like, when we're in Korea, she's like, "Can you guys keep it down in public spaces?" Because, you know, it's not proper etiquette, right? But like, in the States, everyone's like that. It's not just us. Random strangers. "Well, floor are you going to? 13?" Whether it's kind of crazy today, huh? And then, like, full on loud conversation in the elevator, me and how do, like, going off, right? We're like, "Oh my God, but did you hear about the storm over there?" And like, my wife is just like, "Ah, right?" And then when we go to Japan, my wife loves it. Because everyone's kind of soft-spoken, like, in public spaces. And, it's me and how do that are, like, we can't stand it. Because we want to say something loud. Like, we want to say, we want to be ourselves, but we're, like, holding it in. Because it's, we're too loud. Over there, we're too loud. Spending the day in waiting mode, because you have an appointment at 2 p.m. This is why I hate plans. If you have a dinner plan, you know you can't do anything that day? Let's say you woke up, and it's like, you woke up at 9 p.m. 9 a.m. The plan is at, like, 6 p.m. Okay? So you have plenty of time. So when you wake up, you're like, "Oh, I don't have to go to this thing for, like, at least a good, you know, nine hours." So I'm going to, like, enjoy this, right? But what's strange is if you have plans made for 6 o'clock, time passes so fast, first of all. You look at the clock, and you're like, "Oh, my God. It's fucking 11. When did it turn 11? I'm running out of time. I'm going to take a nap. You take a nap. You get up. It's like 11.30. And you're like, "Oh, I can't even nap properly, because I have this dinner thing at 6, right? This is just fucking on my entire day." And your lunch is not the same. And then you know you got to start getting ready at, like, 5 to go to this thing. Sometimes longer, maybe, like, you got to start at 4. And you're like, "Oh, God, I got a shave. I got to clip my fingernails. I wouldn't have to clip my fingernails if I didn't have this dinner thing at 6. Like, why do I know this person? Why did I say yes to this dinner thing? Do I really even like this person? And you're like debating all of that, and you check it, it's already 5.30. And you're like, "Oh, God, I got to go out. Please make them call me and cancel. Please." The next one is, every time I use self-checkout, the person in front of me has never used self-checkout, touch screens, or money before. I had this exact experience at the airport recently. At the airport, there's, like, at Kimpo. There's this thing where, like, you sign up for, like, an express check-in kind of thing. And I went there to do the thing. And there was only one guy in front of me. And the screen tells you to, like, put your hand on the thing to go to the next step. And it shows you how you should do the hand, right? It's like, I think you have to put your palm against it, right? But this guy kept putting the back of his hand on the thing. So, of course, it's not working, right? And the screen says it again. It literally has an animation of a fucking hand going like this, putting the palm of the hand. He watches it again, and puts the back of his hand again. Does this, like, three, four times? And now I got to, I got to help him. So I was like, I'm like, holding it in at first. And then the fourth time, he does the same thing. I'm like, you got to, you got to use your palm. And he, like, he's like, okay. But he does it again. And I'm like, what? What? I'm like, no, right? I know I shouldn't do this. I grab his hand. And I'm like, let me help you. And I put his palm against it. I'm like holding this grown man's wrist. I'm holding it. And I'm doing it for him. He's older than me. He's not like, he's not like old, old. Okay. This guy, it's just like maybe one or two years older than me. Grab his hand. I do it for him. And he's like, thank you. So this is a picture of I'm assuming it's either a horse or some kind of animal side eyeing you. Okay. If you're not watching the YouTube video and you're just listening on audio. And the caption is POV. I'm showing you my favorite movie. And I keep hitting you with this look during the best scenes. Yeah, I know what this is like. The nervousness you feel when you share something you love with someone. Let's say it's like a movie that you think will change their lives. Right. So you play it for your friends and you're sitting there. And there's not reacting the way you want them to. You're certain that this scene is hilarious or like it's provocative or like profound. Like they should they should they should be crying at the scene. Something. I don't know something. But there's a room. Right. And you're like, why aren't they reacting the way they're supposed to be reacting? Like, what the hell's going on here? This is a great movie. And you can't even like you don't even know why you decided to show them this thing. And this happens like because we're musicians will play music for each other sometimes. Right. and like as a producer, it's like the worst thing is when they're like, you know, let me listen to the beat that you made. And you're like, it's not done yet. It's like just a devil. And they're like, yeah, we know, just play it. And I'm like, I only have like a loop. And I'm gonna like, I'm gonna change the drums like later, but it's just a sketch. Yeah, we get it, can you just play it? And I'm like, it's gonna sound a little more like a reverbie after I like mix it, but like, it's not mixed yet. So you might sound a little dry, but that's because it's like a demo. Re-fucking get it, play it, right? And then you play it, and you're just like, your eyes are just like, side eye, you're just like looking at them. You're like, do they fucking hate it? Do they hate it? Do they hate it? Why aren't they nodding? Why aren't they like feeling the rhythm? Like what's going on here? Why? Oh, fuck, I told you it wasn't demo. Okay, this is another one that people might be like, oh, that's me. Oh, this one, if any of you live alone, or like you're often doing the dishes, this is, oh, this hits the spot, okay? POV, you thought you did all the dishes, but you forgot the pot. Okay, let me just explain how often this happens to me, okay? So there's shit ton of dishes you gotta do. And you just, you're like, powering through it. And this is the worst part. When it's not just like doing the dishes, but like, let's say, you know, there's some food. So you gotta like wash it and also get rid of the food, right? So you put the leftover food into like the proper, like garbage bag for food, right? And then you like, it's full now and you wrap it. You're done with the dishes, you wash your hands, and you're like, oh, finally I'm done. You turn around and that pasta that, how do I, it's right there. I told her to bring it to me. She left it behind me. I already shoved it all in the garbage, like took me. I gotta now fucking do it all over again. You know what I mean? Don't you have to bring it to me. Why would you put it behind me while I'm doing the dishes? And I can't. - Okay, this is another one that people might be like, oh, that's me. Eating alone in school when you're young, right? Eating alone in school. Wow, I feel so self-conscious. I'm miserable, life sucks. Now that you're grown up, eating alone at work, this is the most relaxing part of my day. That is so true, it's a matter of perspective. Middle school and high school, like some worst time of life, of existence. You couldn't pay, there's no amount of money you can pay me to go back to middle school or high school. Like, I hated it. There's parts of high school that I enjoyed, but I would never wanna repeat it. Like I would never wanna go back. It doesn't matter if I get to be young again or I don't care. I like now way better. I'd rather be like old as hell than be a high school kid again. You know those movies where somebody gets knocked out and then they wake up and they're like back in, they're 17 year old body, there's movies like that, right? It's like wish fulfillment, but to be honest, like to me, those are horror films. If all those movies for some reason, the guy who wakes up is like, oh, I'm young again, I'm a kid again, they fucking enjoy it. I would be like so pissed off that it's high school. College, a little better, but if I woke up and I'm back in middle school or high school and I have to deal with all of that, like high school politics and where I'm gonna sit today at lunch and then it's just that whole shit I don't wanna do. I mean, at least I'm an extrovert, right? High schools should be like illegal for introverts. I know this is a wild thing to say, but like they should make high school, they should allow introverts that to be in a high school 'cause like, I know it's necessary, but it's like the worst environment for anyone that's like kind of self conscious or shy or doesn't wanna be around people because like, there's always like people are like high school fucking socks. Speaking of being introverted or self conscious or shy, a lot of people have a hard time learning English because it's not the learning part that's hard. It's having to speak to other people using something you're not certain about, you know, using something you just learn. And that's what's preventing like Mithra. You know, if he wants, I'm sure he can speak a lot better than people think he does, right? But he's just afraid to speak to people. But two cuts probably has, you know, the same skill level as Mithra, but because he's a little more outgoing than Mithra, has a much easier time speaking English. For anyone too shy to speak English to somebody, speak AI tutor is the number one English learning app that just gets it. If speaking out loud to another person makes you feel self conscious or a little nervous, especially with a new language, speak lets you do it without any of that. Speak to AI without any pressure or awkward moments. You can just say whatever you want to AI, like go fuck yourself. Experience an AI tutor that's better than a real one. Speak the app that stays with you until English clicks. Just 10 minutes a day. That's all it takes for you to build a learning habit that sticks with you. I highly recommend using speaks AI tutor during your commute or like during your free time. Mithra and two cuts are using it right now as well. And speak has made a special promotes or hay table of subscribers. Go to the description, there's a link, go there, and there's going to be a lot of benefits, there's a PDF that you download that will help you a lot. Subscribe today. Doctors offices be like show up 15 minutes early so the doctor can see you 45 minutes late. Seriously the dentist. They're like, can you come by 11? I'm like, okay, so I'll be done at like 11.30 then. I get there at 11. Doctors sees me at like 11.40. But okay, this is not totally the same but another thing that always happens. It's like there are certain places where you're like, you know, you're making plans and you're like, when do you think this whole like event will be over by because I have to do something after. They're like, we should be done between five and 9.30. They give you like a wild, like wildly huge range. And you're like, that's 4.5 hours that range. So we're gonna be done at 9.30? No, no, no, we could be done at five or 9.30. Oh, this one. You have to be kind of old to understand this. It's 1999. Spotify and iTunes don't exist yet. You've just spent $10 on an album. Three tracks in and you realize it fucking sucks. You can't even get a refund, right? You've opened it, it's yours. This has happened many times. And that's why like back in the 90s, like 80s, 90s, album covers were bangers. Like we had literal art on some of these albums. And the reason is because like, because you can't listen to the songs in advance. You don't know what you're buying. You have to seriously judge it, judge the book by its cover, right? So some of these album covers are, like you can just hang it on a wall at the moment and it's just literal art. And then you listen to the music and it fucking sucks, okay? Even shit music back then had great art because you don't know. You don't know until you rip it open, you've already paid, they've made their money, right? So people really worked hard on the art. And also sometimes the first song, like you know that one of the songs is good? Because you heard it on the radio, but you buy it and it's like 10 songs, right? And they have like nine fillers, like nine terrible songs. But you already bought it. But also there's like, there was something good about not knowing what you're gonna get because you would line up for an album when it comes out. Like there's nobody's reviewing the album yet for like at least a week, right? Or at least 24 hours because they have to, even the critics have to go out and buy it, listen to it, you know, and go throughout their day and then have time to write about it. So you can go to a record store and buy an album that's been out for a few days and still not know anything about it. There's like this mystery. And you listen and if the album turns out to be amazing, you've just discovered something. that no one else has. And you get to tell your friends, and you get to recommend it to them. Or you go to school, and not everyone has heard the album you've heard, or seen the movie you've seen, right? So when you find somebody that has seen it, or heard it, there's the special bond. But nowadays, it's so common that you're not going to recommend something to someone, like, there's nothing new. You're going to be like, oh, I know. Yeah, I'm going to talk about that. Can I ask you guys a question? When you go to a movie, and you've paid, and you're in there, and the movie starts in like 15, 20 minutes in, you're like, a certain-- this is the worst fucking movie ever made. Do you walk out? Or do you just power through it? Are you powering through it because you paid? Or because you hope that it has some saving grace at the end? Yes, better. And then I'm curious about, no matter how bad it is. In those instances, did it get better? Most often, I regret staying. Because two cuts and I are famous for just loudly walking out. Like, we'll be like, this movie fucking sucks. There was-- there was this one time. I'm not going to say what the movie was. It was like, I think it was the first day that the movie was out. There was nothing about it. But we were passing by this theater, and we had to kill some time before going to the next show. So we were like, OK, whatever this movie is, we're going to just watch that. Took us and I go in, and myth or two. We go in, we're watching the movie, right? 15 minutes in, we're like, oh, this movie is kind of weird. 20, 30 minutes in, we're like certain this movie is like the worst fucking movie ever made, right? And then we're trying to power through it about like 40, 15 minutes in. We're not only are we certain that this is the worst movie ever made. We're like convinced that it was a sin to be made, that it's morally wrong for forcing people to watch this. We're like, we're so angry at this movie that we feel like we have to take it upon ourselves to stop people from watching it. That's how convinced we were that we're angry that it was made. At least, I think like an hour and a half. But we walked out during the last 30, 40 minutes. We're like, we can't fucking-- Took us and I were like, whispering to each other the whole movie, we're like, this is the worst fucking movie ever, right? And he's like, yeah, it's like fucking terrible. Let's get the fuck out. So we leave. Next day, we get to the office. And we're about to tell people how fucking terrible this movie is, like how you shouldn't watch it. We get there and right before we get to say it, someone's like, have you seen the movie? It's fucking amazing. And we're like, and someone agrees. Yeah, it's crazy. Oh my god, it's like a work of art. And we're like, what's going on here? So we hold it back. And we're like, we're off in a corner by ourselves, right? And I'm like, why do they think that that's a good movie? Like it's fucking terrible, right? And it took us as like, yeah, it was like the worst movie ever. The director should be arrested, right? And I'm like, right? And then throughout the day, people keep talking about the movie. We go online, we search, right, the movie. And it's getting like not just glowing reviews. It's like people are talking about it as if it's like the greatest movie ever made, OK? It becomes like a thing. And it becomes one of the biggest movies all that time. We're like, if anyone shits on the movie, people are like, shitting on that person. That's how big it got. And two cuts and I are like, we're like, what is going on here? And I'm like, there's no fucking way. It's the world playing a joke on us. And it's like the two of us know something, like a truth. Let's say we saw UFO, OK? With our own eyes, we saw UFO, but no one will believe us. And everyone is like, everyone is on the same page that what we saw isn't real. Because we definitely saw the worst movie ever made. But everyone's fucking glowing about it. And you can't even mention it. If I tell you what movie this is, you will totally get what we were going through, OK? And it went on for months. And then only a year later, we feel safe enough to mention that we believe it's a shitty movie. And that it's not just overrated. It's just collective mania, right? For people to think that this was a good movie. And then slowly, some people in private circles agreed with us. But for a year, we had to hold it in. And we were like, are we the idiots? Are we just stupid and unable to recognize good art? No, right? No, right? And took us-- no, no. Me putting every color in the washing machine because nothing's going to happen for real. They lied. Is this true? You know how you have to separate the whites and the light colored from blue, for example, because colors might bleed into it? Is that true? Because you've got to do laundry twice if you do that, if you have to split. But you know what? I think I just throw everything in there too. And nothing happens. Hey, person I met at a party for 30 seconds in 2009, let's remain life-long friends on Facebook. I have so many people who claim they know me. And I met them for like nine seconds. I swear to God. I met them for nine seconds. I would not recognize them if I ran into them again. But they're so certain I know them very well. And I'm like, good friends with them. If people keep telling me, they're like, yo, you're friends with them, right? I'm like, who? Like, this guy. I have no idea who you're talking about. He met you at the-- he met you at that event. A lot of people met me at that event. There were like 300 people at that event. OK, if you go camping a lot, this is for sure. Every time you try to get a good spot at a campfire, the smoke going in your face. You know, like, for some odd reason, like, you know how you, like, put a little spit on your finger, and then you lift it up to see, like, where the wind's blowing? No, no one does this? No. Is it just me? Because you sense the wind better if you have a little saliva on your finger. Is that weird? You can feel the wind better, because the sensation is more heightened. And then you sense that the wind is blowing to your face. That's why the smoke is coming to you. So you move to the opposite side. But the wind, again, somehow blows smoke in your face. I don't know why. Oh, so two cuts is here. Hey. What the hell are you doing? Fucking podcast. I met that guy for, like, nine minutes back in, like, 2002. And I've been stuck with him for two decades. You know, I'm going to do all of it. Gojosh. Never come back. You are nothing without me. Ah. Hi, guys. This is Justin from EpiCase. Leave. Hello. I'm working. Hey, tableau. Subscribe us. You guys waste the time. Oh, tell them about the North America tour. EpiCai, North America tour, title, 3.0. Get your ticket right now at EpiCai.com. See, I told you confidence. You need confidence to speak English. And you look at him. He's 100% confidence, 0% skill. What the fuck? Yeah. Leave. Ah, chikashi. Kinga. Oh, grunnyosh. Leave. Yo, he turned this thing off. Gojosh. Gojosh. I didn't. Always, hi. EpiCai. Do you live in the United States or Canada? EpiCai is coming to you from September 30th all through October. Check for your city right now at EpiCai.com and get your tickets. You ever walk into a room? and you forget what you're going to do. So you just stand there loading. I do this every morning. I'm like suddenly in Haru's room and I totally, like I don't know what I was gonna do. I was like, what did I come in here to clean something or to get something to pick something up? What am I, what am I, what am I doing here? Ah, okay, now I gotta go. I'm sorry. I'm sorry, I hate to have those subscribers. I gotta go, like two cuts is here. He's gonna be fucking annoying. I don't know why he's here. Why, why when I'm working? Let me just, let me do something for myself. Let me just have one little thing for me. And for my fans too, like can I just have one show? One tidy show once a week where I'm just, I'm just like, away from them. I'll see you next week. (laughs) - Hit Tableau. (laughs)