#112 How To DESTROY Negative Thoughts (And Rewire Your Brain) | Tony Robbins

There is so much if you think it, you'll get it. But I still don't think it's gonna fix everything for me. No, no, I mean, listen, what do you think about consistently tending manifests in your life? But there are other things beyond just that one force of what you walked. To think otherwise is sink your the center of the universe which is absurd to me. So you're saying the law of attraction is f**king this and no law of attraction is real. It's one of dozens, dozens of laws. And you're saying that's the whole game? I'm sitting down with the iconic Tony Robbins, modern day philosopher, author. If you're sick of the platitudes and the manifesting and unable to build a tactical, sustainable daily approach to improving your life, today's episode is for you. Stop creating flimsy New Year's resolutions. Change your life for real today with me. So many people feel like they can't say the thing that might actually help, because it might hurt somebody's feelings. Why did we get up this thing that you're not supposed to offend anybody? If you're not gonna offend anybody, you're not gonna have any impact. Sometimes you gotta do what's uncomfortable. Otherwise, you're just making yourself feel good. I can make myself feel good and go, "Casha, so horrible, I understand." And f**k that. Some part of you wants transformation or you wouldn't be in my presence. And it's gonna happen. We all tell ourselves stories about things. Our narrative of our life controls our life more than anything else. So you have to divorce your limitations and marry the truth of your unlimited ability. What are the biggest lies that we are told because it seems nice instead of true today? Okay, I want to talk about a million things with you. I've been so excited to have this conversation. My dad, you. Thanks for thinking the time. I want to talk about a thing that I used to think was touchy-feely. And then actually you were one of the first guys that made me realize you could have all the tools, all the tactics, all the metrics. But if you don't have your mind right, none of it will work. Right. And one of the things that I love about you is you've beaten into my mind that peak performance starts with mindset. Yes. And that that is not actually a touchy-feely thing. But you've also hinted that in some ways there's something that comes before mindset. And why is the order of that so important? This actually came because for, oh gosh, this is going to be my 49th year. I've traveled the earth at a really unique time. I've been in every single major country in the world of clients in every country of the world. So, 193 countries give an idea. And so after a while you recognize patterns. And one of the patterns that began to recognize is what creates a breakthrough. Because I'm interested not in just managing something or making it better. I want to scale something. I want to see it grow. So, or breakthrough in your personal life. Same thing, somebody's going along and they try to change, don't fall through, try to change, don't fall through, beat themselves up. What is the difference between the person who beat themselves up and the time when she finally, he or she finally broke through? And what I found is there's actually three elements to it. And the reason most people fail to have a breakthrough, I experience, is that they go after them in the wrong sequence. It's kind of like if you know the right numbers to a vault and you put them in the wrong order, you don't get the treasure, right? Same thing with your phone number, you don't reach the person. So, I'll give you the three S's to a breakthrough. The first one is not the most valuable one, it's the first one people go for. It's strategy. Now for you and I, strategy seems like the most natural thing go for. If I want to achieve something, how do I do it? That's the number one question, right? But the problem with asking how do I do it is, if you've never done it before, most people then go into what I call the tyranny of how. The tyranny of how is like, have you ever done this set a goal, maybe when you're really young? I'm gonna do this, you maybe told people you're gonna do this and this voice in your head goes, who you're kidding, right? Because what happens is you start to doubt, because you have no reference space, you have no experience. And so, when you're uncertain, you don't follow through. And you look at a peak performer, what makes them a peak performer? If you watch them going down that court in the NBA or NFL or whatever sport it may be, you feel this relentless energy, there's not an ounce of hesitancy, there's absolute certainty. That doesn't guarantee success, but it increases probability through the roof. When you focus on something you don't know how to do, the doubt show up. And then the second thing that happens is, I'll give you an example, let's take a simplistic piece. 70% of Americans are overweight, right? We're in the fattest country in the history of the world. We're infecting every other country with our dietary patterns and people around the world are getting more and more ill. But is the secret to being fit and healthy? Like so complex that you only need super intelligent people to understand, is it? That it costs so much to learn that technology? Is it special only for the 0.1% of the population? No, the strategy of how to be fit, now there's a million different strategies, not even just one. And they'll all work to certain extent, some are better than others, obviously. So it's not a strategy problem. Now it's possible, I remember about, I don't know, about 15 years ago, time magazine had the cover of the magazine. It was the Atkins diet and they said 14% of Americans are in the Atkins diet. Well, during the Atkins diet, hopefully you woke up at some point, when if this anything makes my breath smell this bad and I got a pianist stick, so I got so much acid in my body, probably is not sustainable, but everybody did it. It worked for a short time. They went and did the piece to make it work. So some people did have the wrong strategy, but the real problem is the second asset, moving backwards in order of importance. Meaning, strategy is the least important, even though I consider myself a strategist. I know the right strategy could save you 10 years in your business. The right strategy could save you months in terms of trying to turn your weight around or transform your relationship. It could be minutes, right, if you have the right strategy. But people don't use the strategy because the second asset gets in a way, which is their story. The story, we all tell ourselves stories about things, are narrative of our life controls our life more than anything else. And all the story is, is a set of beliefs. And beliefs are nothing but things we've told ourselves over and over again with so much certainty, then now we believe them. Like, for example, for yourself, if I can ask, can you think of any belief you may have had 10, 15 years ago that you'd been acting, you would have fought for that belief, but today you're almost embarrassed you had that belief. Yes. Right? Most people can. So the fact that you believe it doesn't mean it's true, it just means you're certain. And so most people have certainty about what will work. So let's take the example of fitness again. So why you ask that person is 35 pounds overweight? How come you're overweight? Well, I've tried, well, they say I've tried everything. That's right, everything. And I look at them, I say, but all to respect, you haven't tried everything. Yes, I have. I've tried thousands of things. Okay, name them. And then they'll go, well, try hundreds of things, name them. Well, I've tried these two things that don't work over and over again, as it will come down to you, right? And they call that everything, right? So the story keeps them to do it. You're not in a relationship. You don't have a relation. You say you want one. Why aren't you in one? Well, the good ones are all taken when they're gone. Or they're gay and I'm not. Or I'm gay and they're not. Right? It's not true. It's just not true. But the story controls what you're really doing. Do not do because it's a belief and beliefs control actions. Right? So even if you have the right strategy, if your story doesn't support it, have you ever been with somebody and you were, let's say, trying to help them? And you've got lots of skill. And so you're showing, hey, here's what you can do to take on small businesses and build a real mini empire for yourself, right? And you can do it with businesses. People aren't competing. You for and you can earn great cash flow. And it's not sexy, but it's very successful. Let me show you how. And you can put all that in front of them and they're just like, not there. It's like, no, you know, I just know that's not going to happen. It just won't work for me. Say, no, no, look, I can show you. I've done, no, no, it doesn't work for me. And the more you push on them, then they get more irritated. And the reason they're irritated is they want to hang on to their story because the deepest fear everybody has. Everyone has. Kings have dealt with in Queens. Academy of board winners, Grammy winners, you know, winners of the NFL and greatest, the greatest players in history. Everybody has a fear at some point that they're not enough. Not rich enough, not smart enough, not funny enough, not attractive enough, you know, not playful enough, not something enough. And the deeper fear we have is that we're not enough, we won't be loved. And love is really, it's like the heartbeat of the soul, right? It's the essence. It's the oxygen of your soul. So people come up with a story so they can explain it's not that I'm not enough. It's just I have ADHD. Well, so did, you know, Sir Richard Branson. He's done quite well, right? You know, don't confuse me with the facts. So the story, no matter how good and clear the strategy and you do a fantastic job, I want to say on the air, you know, I went through your book and I just thought you mean it's so clear for people and I would be doing this myself if I wasn't already used in advances. I've done a terms of size of businesses. I was looking to start. It's a great way to do it. And in fact, I remember it now when I was really like 18, I went to a guy's course called Bizarre Financing and it was all about how to build these small businesses, right? But I think you've done a more thorough job. But the point is they're not going to do it if they don't have the right belief structure, right? Now, somebody will get a divorce and they go visit their divorcee in a regular basis. It's not a good idea. You have to just cut it off and no longer go there. You have to tap into the truth. You know, it's corny's the sounds of truth will set you free. But for most people, they don't have someone to really do that to them. That's what I do. I create environments with that happens. But there is something before that. That is the first ask. When you should start with, but most people rarely even get to. And that is your state. If you're going to have a breakthrough, it comes from your state. You can think of that as energy, vitality, strength, mental energy, mental fitness, right? All that really means is your mental emotional state affects the way you perceive everything in life. Have you ever been pissed off at somebody and then you suddenly could remember everything that they ever did that pissed you off? Of course not, never. Right. So, and when you're in love, what's wrong with life? It feels a fault totally in love. Not a damn thing. Nothing's wrong with it. It's where broken is a matter of where in love, right? So your state controls your story. Your story and your state control whether you do anything. If no one showed you how to get the strategy, you'd figure out the strategy. You'd find the way you'd make the way with the right state. So all the work I've done most of my life I realized was start with a state. Because ever whilst you're starting, you're being, you know, you can teach in the best tools in the world. They won't fall through. If I start with a story, it's easy to shift their belief. And then I can teach in the tools. But if you don't do in that order, people get very, very frustrated. Have you been there? order becomes very, very easy. Like, for example, think about this. Somebody says to you, okay, I know I got to go on a diet. I got to I got to exercise. I'm going to do it. I'm really going to do it. This is going to happen. It's not going to happen in a million years because the state they're in. Most people are trying to get themselves to do something. And what they understand is what you do is based on your state. And what do you think is harder, for example, dieting or fasting diet in. Yes, very much so. Absolutely. Because fasting is absolute. You just don't do it. That's right. dieting is like a rule by a trishet. You know, right? How does no matter of water? That's enough then, right? Yeah. So if you get to that place, that mindset, which is total resolve, that's what it takes the fast. And a state of resolve, it's easy. When you're dieting, you're saying, well, could I do that? What if I could do that? You're negotiating. Negotiations with yourself makes you weak. So the right state, you'll get the right behavior, you'll get the right story, and you'll find the right strategies. And so my focus is first there. And I still do all three, but that's where I go first. That's so good. You know, I was funny because I was talking to some of our mutual friends. And one of them was like, you should ask Kim something that you need to change. Like get a little vulnerable. Sure. And I was like, God, you've seen all the things. You know, I remember watching, I am not your guru back in the day. And you're just like, you know, a woman's life. You're just, I don't know what sort of crazy Tony Robbins magic, but you're just like magic, her. And and I thought about it. I'm a pretty disciplined individual in a lot of ways. But for instance, like small things, this time of year, I will say, no, no, I'm definitely not having multiple glasses of red wine and that bread. And then I will do it. But in your mind, the formula does it just go? Absolutes. So like is my next step just, okay, Cody, no red wine ever, no bread, or I have to say it when I'm jumping out of trampoline, or I have to say what I'm excited. Like, how do I tactically? Well, you have just you need stronger reasons, honey. You don't have strong enough reasons to fall through. So your reasons in the moment, it's like decision making. You know, why are most people supposed to make a decision and then they don't fall through? They just fascinate me too. And when I began to realize, as a couple things, number one, most people don't make a lot of decisions. So they have a kind of weak decision making muscles. I don't know if you've ever been around somebody at dinner and a restaurant. And there's a person who's always the last one and they still can't decide. And the way to wait or it's about to lose it and then they finally decide, right? Yes, I never hire them. That's actually a great way. Never hire them in a million years. However, the reason they're not making a decision is they want to make the right decision always. They want to do the right thing. But perfection doesn't exist. It's just not there. So if you look at decision making, I remember I met General Norman Swartzkopf who did the original Desert Storm group. And I remember asking him, we were talking about leadership and what's the most important thing in leadership. And he said, decision making. And I said, well, how do you make a tough decision? It goes, that's what you paid for. Any idiot can make the easy decision. What makes you a leader is big decisions. He said, but to get those big decisions done, you have to have strong enough reasons to fall through or won't happen. He says, if you don't come up with the reasons the decision doesn't last. And he told me a story I'll never forget. He said that it was a private working for a general. And the general is one of the most powerful. I think it was a four star general, three star general and the Pentagon. And very influential man, just at least. And Pentagon had wrestled with a decision of a strategic decision for the Pentagon as a whole for almost 10 years. And then people that argued on both sides pretty powerfully. So much so the no one could decide. And so they said a date where they're going to finally make a decision no matter what in the government. And then general's going to make it. And so the sports golf was the private. And he had five other guys. Their job was to accumulate all this information from both sides, which he said literally filled almost half a room and try to bring that down to like six binders. The general could go through and really understand both sides of the issue. Well, as they're doing the correlation trying to go through this, which were completely behind, he said he was getting so scared. And then the general's called out with an emergency. And he had to leave and didn't come back until literally the night before the decision making process. And so he has no preparatory materials. And he said, I didn't know what to do. I gave the general stuff. But I knew he couldn't possibly do it. He was all these. Should I cancel the meeting? He said, no, bring the meeting. They had the meeting. He said, okay, give me side number one. He said, you have 20 minutes. Give me side number two. You have 20 minutes. And when they're done, they stood up and he said, do that one. And they all went, that's general. And they saluted enough the room. But the story's interesting part was, sports golf as a private is thinking he couldn't possibly know what was the right decision to make that decision. This is insane. And he was so stressed about it that he worked up all his courage, knocked on the journal's door and said, permission to speak freely, sir. He goes, that is, he goes, general, I know you couldn't possibly have viewed materials. We couldn't even get you all the materials that are there. You just made a decision that determines the direction of the panic on no great decision for 10 years. You just did it. He goes, that's right. When puning command take charge, he said, make a decision. He goes, but general, you didn't have enough information. He goes, there was too much information. He said, both sides have been arguing for 10 years. Here's what I know. Whatever decision I made, it'll be right. It'll be wrong. If it's wrong, we'll find out quicker. It won't take us 10 years and we can change our approach. If it's right, we'll be on the right track and we'll move forward immediately. Decisions need to be made. And I thought, what a great approach, right? So later I started studying it. I was like, I think decisions have three parts. So when you go to yours, you decide not to drink or decide drink only so many of these elements, so I drink. Decision can feel a little bit like a war. I'm going to do this. I get myself to do this. You know, all right, I'm going to do it. Right? But it's a three part process and that's what people don't understand. If you decide, that's all you do. You're making a decision in the moment. You meant it when you made that decision to yourself. Wouldn't you say? Yeah. So what happened? Later on, you're in a different environment. Right? You've not taken the moment and pushed it into the future. What takes that moment, pushing the computers, if while you're in that moment, you did something to commit you to follow through whether consequences if you didn't significant consequences. Right? That's what the general does. Right? So you look at this and go, okay, I say I want to do this, but is this, do I get enough reasons? Is this really that important to me? Because if it's not, I want to bullshit myself. I'm not here to lie to myself. If I'm really going to do it, then here's my absolute commitment for the next 30 days. And this is what it costs me if it doesn't. Right? And this is what I get. This is why I want to do it. So it's not just a moving away from approach. But I always tell people never leave the side of making a decision without doing something that commits you to follow through. Later on, because you're going to be in a different state, state again, right? And you're going to make a different decision, that different state of that party that's there. But there's a third step that most people never get to resolve. So think about what does it mean to you to decide? Tell me what it means to you to decide. What's that feeling when you decide? It's a forward momentum. Okay. What does it mean to commit to not go back? And you know, there's an anti instead of a now you put a line in the sand that's beyond just this moment. And you've taken what's in the moment, taken it forward. What does it mean to you to resolve? Like no matter what we're going to do, we're going to execute on this. That's right. Resolve means it's already done. You say something's resolved. It's already done. It's done in you. So it's going to be done in the world. And what resolve brings an interesting emotion, decision making can be a little battle, commitment can feel like having used some force, but resolve brings peace. And then it's like even if things don't go the way what even if it changes your there, I've resolved this is how it is. So I want you to think of a decision you've made that you did keep your word on. That was a difficult decision. Because they all call ones not that difficult, right? I bet you've had some much more difficult decisions you've kept. Definitely. Can you tell me what? Yeah, I mean, I'm divorced and remarried. So I remember when I was going through my divorce or when I was going through my not so happy marriage the first time, I couldn't make a decision on doing it. And so I said, I'm going to put a date on a calendar. And by that date, I will have done the actions, I think, will, you know, go to therapy, have lots of conversations, attempt to resolve it. But if I can't, that will be my date. And by that, I will tell him and we will commit. So listen to your languages, Evan, you decided, and in that day, you decided you also committed, you committed to what had happened in the future by a certain date, by a certain time I was going to occur. Yeah. Did you get to resolve? I did. When did resolve happen to happen that day or later? No, it happened that day. So did you feel what did you feel inside when you resolved it? Peace. Peace. Sadness, but peace. I understand. I'm ending something as I always said, but one of the rules of life that most people are upset about that they don't take it's a given in life is everything ends. Everything changes. But my view is in something new begins. It's like the call of adventure when you know, the hero's journey is there. So I think you either have to decide and commit, ideally resolve or not kid yourself about it because it may not be that important to you. That's a great sign. Like you might be doing, you know, virtue signaling to yourself. It didn't sound like a Tony but he else, but that's what people do that too. They don't just virtue signals stupidly on social media. They do it to themselves. Yeah. You know, it's fascinating. You say that. My husband is the former Navy seal. And so he is so committed to his work. He knows how to commit resolve. He does. And one thing that he's taught me lately that has helped the last couple of years is if we want, if we make a decision and we are committed to it, he does a thing that now I have a word for it, I guess, which is this idea of commitment and resolve. He'll say like, for instance, we had something we wanted to do. And he was like, okay, well, what are you going to do if you don't hit that goal? And I said, I don't know, what do you want me to do? What's on the table? We put in cash and put it and he was like, that's not big enough. And he's like, it not only has to be cash, which would bother you, but something that would bother you so much. so much that you're not going to execute. - That's right. - And so he's like, so if you don't execute on this, we're going to write a check. And on the check, you're going to put $10,000 and you're going to say, "Democratic Socialist Party of America." And if you don't do this, I'm sending the check with your name on it. You're going to be on the donor list. And I was like, oh no, no, I'm really in it. And I have to commit to this. And so now I have a framework. But it's, you know, what's fascinating about you is these little small things in life aren't so small. They accumulate to everything in life. It's this compounding effect. - Decision-making I think is one of the top five skills in life. - What are the other four? - I wouldn't walk them in. I'd say managing your state is one of the most important. I think how to build relationship is certainly one of the most important, your capacity to create a vision for your life is extremely important. Moving from being a manager to a creator is extremely important. Most people are managing their lives. They're making a living. They're designing their life. Or, you know, even in business, part of what helps you grow in business is when you stop becoming a manager. Managers all we want are no techniques. And by the way, I have plenty of techniques I've learned over the years, but I'm much more into this stage of my life than what is behind the technique that makes somebody fall through. Right? Techniques are cute. And they might work, but then eventually the technique becomes your new toy that will become your new limitation. Right? So I think it's important to look for what's behind it all. If you shift what's behind all you shift everything. Right? That's my focus. Do you ever not keep promises to yourself now? That's a great question. Yes, there's one that I've not kept to myself. To be honest, the only one I can think of. I don't know that I promised myself honestly, that's the truth. And that is, you know, I'd slow my schedule down. You're not keeping that. I know that for a fact. No, you can tell by my voice. No, I'm not kept that promise. But honestly, it's like, you know, I get a phone call last night from a dear friend of mine. He's got a friend that's suicidal middle of the night. And it's like, you know, I get these calls every day. Someone's got, you know, answers. And we say, whatever. And I have such a database of businesses and relationships, you know, in the health area and the relationship area, the business area, the finance area, and the emotional well-being area that I find myself called. And so then I end up being up for two and a half hours of this stranger, not do those things. And so my wife and I are going to have a meeting this next week. And then I'm going to have to take it from decide to commit to resolve. Because I think I decided, but I didn't really commit to resolve. Because I'm so called. That's the thing too. It's like people have different ways of motivating themselves. I've never been a motivator in the term. Motivation is a good thing. It's like a warm bath or showers. You probably have one every day. But it's not enough. You need strategy. You need phone through. But what I'm really interested in is like, what's deeper than that? What's the inner drive in that? And when I look around at what's happening in people's lives, I say, what? You can think of it as this way. You can think of there's like, let's say, pole motivation and push motivation. Push is what most people use. I'm going to push myself through. I'm going to make this happen. Well, that takes enormous, you know, I would say, inner strength in that. You clearly have that. I clearly have that inner drive. But everybody's going to get so much of that, right? What's unlimited is pole motivation, pole drive. That's something that is something you care about more than yourself, so much more than yourself that it's not effortful. It gives you an energy that's also almost still superhuman to other people. And it's because you know this is what you're made for. And when you find that, you know, it's been said before, you know, the two most important days of your life of the day that you're born in the day, you discover what you're born for, right? I know what I'm born for. And so changing that in my life and saying, I'm not going to do that. I have to find somewhere in between the two. I have to find what I am willing to commit to in that process. That's interesting. My first response on my head was, no, of course, I keep my word to myself for everything. And the probably still is true, because my word to myself is, I will always show up when it matters most for people. Yeah, you almost have like a higher priority than you've even realized about the sub priority. Well, it's, you know, it's so timely because you're having an event in January. And I really wanted to go to, I was going to go to your last event. And we're in the mixture of mix of all this fertility stuff. And so it's one of the first times where I haven't been able to keep my word as often as I'm used to to other people. And it's out of my control for the first time. I understand. Or need a business is incredible. Or a tiny mistake turns into a very expensive problem. If you're not covered, that can actually wipe out months even years of work. That's why smart owners use next insurance. It's coverage built specifically for small businesses all online, all instant. So no paperwork, no waiting, no corporate run-around nonsense. Whether you run a cleaning crew, a fitness studio, or a business you bought on Main Street, next keeps you protected so you can keep building. Taking risk is part of the game. Being protected is how you win it. Head to nextinsurance.com/cody and check them out. I love the idea of this event because New Year knew you. There are all these things around this time of year. But we don't actually keep our promises to ourselves for the most part. And one of the ways that I, in the beginning, maybe thought of you was like, oh, it's positive thinking. We have to positive think. And that is actually the opposite. No, I don't even believe in life. I believe in negative thinking doesn't help you. I believe you need to find what's true. And I don't believe you should go to your garden. There's weeds there so you chant, there's no weeds, there's no weeds. And it's like, no, reach down and grab the weeds. You gotta see what's real. You gotta see this is, but also not see it worse than it is. Most people see it worse than it is 'cause they're afraid of failing so then they don't try. And then you gotta see it better than it is because without a vision, people perish. You have to have a vision. And then you gotta make it that way. And that's where the strategy comes in. So that's how I look at it. But no, I'm not. I've never been to positive thinking per se. When they did the secret, they came to me to be part of the secret. I said, I will not participate in a million years. This is bullshit. And so you're saying the law of attraction is bullshit. I said, no, law of attraction is real. And I remember this guy was saying, "Kapak, I was coming here to talk with you about this." And he said, and I was running late and I thought, "Green, green, green." And I got all green lights. So what's gonna happen when you're coming to see me and you get all red lights. So you can see your thinking back. Are you telling me some person who was in Alcatraz was there or not Alcatraz, but in Germany, in a concentration camp that they were just a negative thinker? Sometimes not getting what you want is what the universe or God wants for you so you develop lessened skills, muscles, strengths, caring that you wouldn't have had without it. So it's not just that. There's other things like capabilities. There's like skill sets. You can't do that. So I know I was revolted against that. I want you to go like this and of course crash 'cause everybody wants the over simplistic view of life, but they won't get you results. Just thinking positive is not gonna do it. Thinking negative will certainly hurt your life, but that's not the full gig. - No, no matter how bad I wanted, if I go try to one-on-one you on that basketball court, I don't think I would have. You got like, does a tidy few inches more than I do. But it's important because these days, I live in Austin, Texas. And there is so much, if you think it, you get it. And if you rub this crystal, I brought a crystal, I like a crystal, but I still don't think it's gonna fix everything for me. - No, no, I'm not listening. I think all the, I think thoughts are real. And what do you think about consistently didn't manifest in your life, but there are other things beyond just that one force of what you want. And to think otherwise is to think you're the center of the universe, which has absurd to me. If that was true, why when we just get whatever we want immediately, well because you'd be spoiled, Rodney wouldn't care about anything or anyone. I mean, think about it. When you're born, would you have to do it beloved? - Nothing. - Nothing. Scream yell, go to bathroom in your pants, throw up all of your mom or your dad, you're still loved, right? But there was a day when that stopped. And that's the day that fear entered your body. That's the day you try to figure out what to do. So you would, 'cause you know to survive, you need love. Love is where someone puts their needs aside for yours, right? And as humans, we're like different than other animals. Some animals, there's a crack, and you never see a mother and father, but you have some competitive advantage. You have horns, you have teeth, you have camouflage, right? Our competitive advantage is love. And so our capacity to feel that caring allows us to connect, allows us to work with you, allows us to expand beyond what other people can possibly do. And so I look at it and say, okay, if this is our capacity, why is it that we have this unconditional love in the beginning and everybody pursues it for their rest of their life and rarely feels it? Because if you're unconditional love forever, you never grow. You never bring anything to the world. It will all be about me, me, me, just ridiculous. So you have to grow up and realize life's not about you. It's about we and at the more you contribute, the better, business is a spiritual game. Just for example, every religion on earth has some version of love, thy neighbor, like thyself, different versions of it, but a version of that principle within it, right? Karma, whatever you wanna call it, when you fall in love with your client, not just fall in love with your customer, you're a should-show, your product or service, that's gonna change. Fall in love with your client, and you're trying to do everything can't meet their needs. You turn them into a raving fan and you love on them and you think constantly about meeting their needs, like a mom does their kid or like a best friend does for somebody they really care about. You're gonna grow in business. You're gonna grow anything that you do, but we're not meant to just have unconditional love 'cause then we wouldn't grow, right? We need to grow, we need to expand. And so otherwise all these stupid thoughts like, oh, I'm just gonna think it's gonna happen to be there, plus, if you went to Vegas, what's the worst thing to happen if you go to Vegas? (laughs) - Well, this can't maybe lose all your money. No, the worst thing to happen is win. - Well, interesting, of course. - Yes. - Steve wins a good friend of mine, he built most of Las Vegas. - So he doesn't really. - I was with him one day and this guy won a $10 million jackpot and Steve was a very tight guy in finance, right? Very tight guy. Like he knows that every, you know, one of his retailers is doing and he wants the maximum dollar for each one and Louis Ton was in paying him enough, he'd get very upset. I'm like, you're doing it. quite fine, right? No, but what a person won. I saw none of that. So I found it steep. Usually you're pretty uptight about something like yours. No, Tony, what you know, she's see all the people around him, see all the pictures. That guy will come back for the rest of his life. But so all these other people, he goes, the odds are my odds. He goes, that makes me money. I'm in the long game. That's how it works here. But if you went to Vegas and let's see, pulls one of those warden bandits and you get the jackpot. What was your response? Good. Sweet. Awesome. Yeah. Second time. Probably less excited, but still excited. 100 times every time you get the same victory. Now it's called a job. That's fascinating. So we need jackpots in our life to make us feel alive. If you got everything you wanted every moment, you'd be bored out of your mind. It's such a good point. What's interesting about you is, you know, I think a lot of people struggle with people pleasing, right? And, you know, maybe they try to do things that other people think will make them likeable. You seem to do the opposite. Like you are so comfortable pushing buttons, saying hard truths. And at least what I've seen publicly kind of pushing people out of their comfort zone. And I don't do that till the first know how much I care. I earn that right. They see that. I don't just come in like a jerk and go, this this, this, this, because I really do come off that way. But, but I think that's scary for people. Even though I do believe a lot of times that's what we need. We need like a Chris, my husband calls it, but an benevolent bully, you know, somebody to push you like you need it. Have you always been like that? Or how did you learn to push people the way they needed to? No, I was, I was more of a pleaser growing up. Everyone has a dominant force in their life. My mom was the dominant force. And she was, and I had four different fathers. So she was the dominant force that you might guess. She was kind of force of nature. I read them one after another. And I learned to please her. Or I was, you know, she was quite physical with her. And I was five, one in high school. And then even when I grew 10 inches in a year, I learned to bend my hair down. She got my hair and smack me against the wall. She was a beautiful woman. I want to give you the wrong impression. She was as loving as you could be. But she abused, you know, alcohol and prescription drugs. And when you put those two together, you become a different personality. So I had to work out of my head. How do you deal with someone who was love you crave the most? Who's trying to harm you? But you know, love you. And so rather than go to all victim bullshit, I just there's not any part of me that's ever been a victim. It's like, okay, she's wired with pain. And I got to figure out it. Basically, I became a practical psychologist because of her. I had to figure out how to manage her states, her emotions. I could protect my younger brothers, five years younger, younger sisters, seven years younger. And I got really good at it as I had to be. But then also with women in my life and relationship in the beginning was all pleasing all the time, which is the woman. I'm sure you know, it's probably married in ABC. Oh, having a pleaser doesn't please a woman. And they're confused by that. They're like, they think she wants me to please. Yes, she wants to be pleased, but she doesn't want you to be a pleaser. Who with that? Does that mean right? So I learned that lesson. But even during that time, when I stood up to serve someone, I'm there to serve someone. So if I will at the end of an intervention, you'll you saw, I'm not your guru. There's a moment there where I was working with a young woman who was part of this cult where they rape children instead of for God. And you know, she was in such a horrible place. And so I did this work. And it's like, I feel like God comes through me in those moments and not trying to be over their dramatic. But as you say, it looks like magic. And it's different every time. And so afterwards, I this group pushed on the wall, pushed on the door. And I was like, after those things are done very often, I can't show any emotion then because I'm there with them. If I fully feel what they're feeling, I can't help them. But I am feeling it inside. I put it in a box. And then I go to the back room there and then I just start bawling for this one. What this one would have been through. I'm thinking now it makes me emotional thinking about it. And the guys that were doing the show said, no, we were at direct to have direct access. And they open the doors and you see me. They're crying. And but it's because, you know, this is what I made for. It's like I hate suffering. He'd say, anyone suffer and so I am unbelievably committed to end suffering any way I can. But I also know my own suffering will not help that person of suffering. So I need to call to a higher part of them. And I can do it in multiple ways. I can do it with humor, I can do it with intensity, I can do it with fun, I can do it with being weird. But I will find the way to get them there. And that's my art. You know, that's where you can call it the universe. I call it God comes through you because you're trying to serve something more than yourself. You get different insights. If you're just trying to serve yourself, you know, certain little insight. If you've got a family you care about, you're trying to serve your family, you get a different level of insight, you know, trying to serve, you know, a community, you know, the world, I don't mean virtue, signaling bullshit. I mean, like you know, it's in your heart. The level of insights that are given to me that I can't possibly know about a person while they're standing there. Like people think that there's a script backstage or something. People come up even the guys who are filming so they went, do you have a like an earpiece or something? And I was like, what are you talking about? They came and literally checked see if I'd hear a piece like, how could you know that about her? And I was like, I just knew, you know, I just knew immediately. So the emotion I go through is enormous. It's not like I'm just cold. And this is how it is. And usually by the end of it, the person feels very loved and very taken care of. They have the breakthrough that they're looking for. But you know, I have this conversation with Oprah one day. Women are so abused by our society. When I say abused, I don't want to be just a drug or a toy. But you know, women are put in this image of who they're supposed to look like, be like, act like and women to be unbelievable. You're about to be a mom. There's another party. People come alive when you're a mom is it's unbelievable. Women do. Cather kids don't know it. No, understand it is mind boggling to me. But to be a mom and a business person and to be a lover and to be a husband or wife and all those things at one time, it takes just unbelievable energy, strength and so forth. And when I see what happens with women generalizing about themselves, I come just a homemaker or something makes me crazy. But the one thing women have, if a woman isn't super attractive is they have support. Men don't have that. Men don't go share other feelings. I'm going to talk about our relationships. Right? I remember we were having a program in Mexico and this woman was saying, you were with your friend and you know, you know, we got divorced and you don't know if he's dating. You know, we played golf and she goes and it didn't come up. He goes, I want to come up. You know, and she was just like stunned because she thinks how a woman would think versus how a man's brain would think. Right? And so I say this because I was telling Oprah, I said, one of the beautiful things about the sisterhood, if a woman is really attractive, sometimes there's backbiting and there's the opposite. There's not the support. There's just tremendous support. Women share their problems. Men don't share their problems. Men's job is to solve a problem and then you get with a woman in your life and you want to solve it for them and the man's world, the more you solve problems, the more you move up the hierarchy of being a man. And a woman's world, no, you share your problem so you can connect and feel for the person, right? And you want to stay with it and so forth. So what happens with that is it's actually good for a feeling of support, but it's not great breakthroughs because when we're supported, the women in terrible, terrible beliefs, terrible states, the terrible, terrible relationship when they talk to two other women who have a terrible relationship about how they should do the relationship and all. It's all him. It's, no, no, it's no matter how thin you slice of there's two sides. There's him and there's you, right? And so I was doing it at one time for 5,000 women in radio music, music called for Oprah. It was all women. I never heard that that high a pitch of sounds my entire life in one room. And she said, okay, well, I want you to do an intervention like this. I said, well, Oprah, interventions can take 15 minutes. They can take an hour. I go until, take two hours. She goes, well, I don't know about it. I said, I know. And you're doing this program live. She goes, well, I think you could do it the timeline. I said, okay, but I also have to be one to do whatever it takes because of course, of course, you know, and already have this conversation with her about you can't support women just in their limitations. If you really care about them, you got to call, call true, call true. You still be supportive. And so women stands up and she talks about how she's lost her business because of 9/11. And she's not being able to build it because her husband or her kids, and she's 110 pounds overweight. It's because they all demand something from every moment. Now I'm a lover of women. Like I think women are no man on this planet got here without a woman. I mean, through women who risk their life for you to be here, that's my core belief about women. I hold women like this. But this is bullshit, right? I got plenty of friends that had in the building 9/11 their business didn't go under. So it's not 9/11 that did it, right? And your husband didn't make you 110 pounds overweight, nor did your children. And so everything she's saying is a lie. And the women around her like, oh, I'm sure about 5,000 women I go, effort, I can't do this. I can't not do this. I said, now, well, you just told me this total absolute bullshit. And the whole room, it was like shock. And then there's sounds and I'm like, I'm not being mean. But if you want transformation, if you want to change your life, you cannot do it by blaming everybody else for what you've done 9/11 is a horrific thing. I'm sure it massively interrupted your business. But she wasn't even in the building. She wasn't even close to the building. I said, this is not why your business went under. You're making excuses. And I'm saying this because I care excuses will only hurt you. And right now, you don't have a relationship with your husband clearly by the way, talking about you don't have a relationship with your kids. And that's another reason why you're probably 110 pounds over weight. You're bearing your emotion with food. Right. And then also there's started to be some sounds and then Oprah says, and she's behind me about, you know, like 50 yards as a giant building, right? She goes about Tony, but Tony, but to be fair, and I snap back and I look like this. I'll never forget because I was in state. And I'm in state. You don't break my state, right? And she goes, oh, I'm doing nothing. I'm tired of this. Yes, you're doing that thing right? So I had it go to a break and I just kept working with her. My time was down her body back and got in a great place. And a year later she was on Dr. Oz, she lost 115 pounds, she had a relationship back. She'd restarted a new business, right? So sometimes you gotta do what's uncomfortable. And so yes, I'm only gonna do that to have someone's life change. 'Cause otherwise you're just making yourself feel good. I can make myself feel good and her feel good and go, gosh, that's so horrible, I understand and all those things. But if you stood up, my belief is you stand up in my room. Something's caused you to stand up. Some part of you wants transformation. Are you in being my presence? - God's so true. I think that's one of the saddest things about what happened with sort of the peace, seedness of society today is that so many people feel like they can't say the thing that might actually help because it might hurt somebody's feelings. - Why did we get up this thing that you're not supposed to offend anybody? Here's a question for you. Can people be offended by anything that they want to be? - Yes, but I don't think that should change what I do because of it. - No, but I'm just saying what, so anyone who said, "Where do we come with this new magical role you're not supposed to offend anybody?" If you're not gonna offend anybody, you're not gonna have any impact. I think it was Emerson who said, "Me nothing, do nothing, say nothing, and create nothing." That's how you can be sure you never attacked, right? I'm not willing to do that. I mean, I've got a purpose. And of course some people are not gonna understand it. People in my seminars do. That's why they're still there 12 hours later. When they wouldn't sit for a three hour movie, they won't get up to go to the bathroom 'cause they're watching real life as it's happening. It's more dramatic than anything you could write in a script 'cause it's real. 'Cause like even today reality television is bullshit. It's made up, right? People know it's fake. You feel when something's real. When something's real, you can relate to it. And it calls to some part of you to be more real. When we're vulnerable and we're real, we can change anything. But we try to soften it. Use all the language. I'm pretty good. It's okay, all that kind of stuff. Those softeners keep you from getting to the place where you could actually have a transformation. - It's so true. Yeah, I got in trouble on the internet a few weeks ago because I said I don't think you should cry in business meetings just because you can't express yourself fully. I think if you need to self-regulate, you could step out whatever, but I don't think that you should have a belief that it will help you and it's totally fine if you cry in business meetings. That is just not our society. - There's no crying in baseball. - Yeah, there's just not. And it's happened to me a few times. And whatever, if you cry, I'm not gonna do you. I don't think it's gonna help your career. But. - You can tell me, couldn't cry, right? Is that I don't think it'll help you? - Exactly. - Yeah. - And so have you had a tag for that, of course? - Of course. Okay, I wanna play like a couple little games. One is, I hear that you like this pattern interrupt exercise. And this gives me anxiety even ask you these questions, but like, the idea is we give you a series of negative patterns. And then you say how you would break free from them. And what I find fascinating about you is like, you kind of just in the moment, aren't you gonna say that I'm back to the person, right? It has to be like, I mean, no, it's going on, but I'll give you some general things if you want. - Okay, well, let me give you something to pattern up. - What would be a pattern up for you versus me versus another person? It's different based on your model of the world, right? - Interesting. - So it's like, you know, based on what you believe, and I figured that out very quickly, when I'm doing an intervention with someone. And so I'll figure out what it is. If I know, for example, you value significance the most, then I might show you how by doing whatever it's costing you the significance, and I'll have leverage there. If you're driven by love, then I will use love as the metaphor. If you're driven by certainty, then I'll show you how it'll take away your certainty if you keep doing this, right? So I'm looking for leverage. It's not just breaking a pattern, that's like a stupid technique, you know, that won't last. It has to be tied to something there's an inner drive about. So we all have six needs, human needs, certainty. Everybody has it, it's a survival need, because certainty can be comfortable, 'cause if you're not comfortable, if you're in pain regularly, regular pain means damage, regular damage equals death. So it's the base need for human things. But if you're certain all the time you board silly, so you need uncertainty, right? You need variety, you need surprise. We need significance. Our culture way over value significance today, 'cause of social media. - That's so big. - Like people, you know, put on filters and pretend they're different than they are. One of my buddies has his own gym. And he told me, he said, "On a daily basis, daily basis, women and sometimes men come in who are influencers, 'cause he's got a great gym. They lay out all equipment, they take all these pictures and they leave. They don't work out a single ounce. When you're 27 to 32, you have to be an idiot to not be fit, right? It's like decent genetics and you can be fit, right? So, but they're making money off of it. They don't do anything. It's just about looking good, right? And then using their looking good to try to make money. So, I mean, that's gonna wear off for them, unfortunately, at some stage in their life, right? So, it's like a significance is over value. The need for connection and love is the deepest need that people have, but most people want certain love. And so, they try to control the love and kills it. Or they want a significant love. Like, it's gotta be the most significant thing. And then they get, they start to promote who they are more than they are, 'cause they think that's what's necessary. And they're not truthful, right? And then we need to grow, we need to contribute. Those are the spiritual needs. If you don't grow, your relationships are not growing, your business is not growing, it's dying. There's, that's the law of life. Everything grows or dies. But also, when you grow, then you have something to give. What makes people have a meaningful life is to feel like there's something beyond yourself. 'Cause meeting your own basic needs, any idiot can do. You can lie to yourself and do that. You know, you can work just 12 hour days and do that. You can, there's a million ways you can meet those basic needs of certainty and uncertainty and significance and connection at least, not so much love. But when I look at people, I try to see what's driving them. And then I know better which pattern of work. But go ahead and give me your list and I'll just give you some, some plus and a plus. - Can you tell right away after meeting somebody, what they're one of the sixes? - Six needs. I look to see what are their top two. - And what if you know nothing about them? - I ask questions along the way. - And then you ask a lot of questions all the time. - One person counted one time out of one of the suicidal and it kind of back who was the trainer was writing down. I asked 167 questions before I made one statement. - Fascinating. So you ask questions to figure out, what about, you have a lot of businesses now. And can you tell immediately if somebody, if somebody you should partner with or not? - No, I can't tell immediately. I can get seduced because people put on their best behavior. They're going on a date, right? So I look at it this way. If I'm gonna evaluate somebody, I have three questions. Same with you what you would have in your business or on a date, can they do the job? If I'm interviewing them, one of my companies, by the time it gets to me, of course they can do the job or I wouldn't be interviewing them, right? Or if you were dating, can they do the job? If you're dating them six months, yeah, they can do it. The more fun question is, can they do that job well-worn term? Well, they keep doing great job 'cause everyone does great job in the beginning, right? And what determines that is, are there goals in alignment with the job? So I used to, I remember years ago, we had a woman that worked for us for five years in our personal assistant and we were traveling the world and we were pretty 24/7 and you become part of our family, we love her and still do, she's still close to me and we're our family, but she fell in love with another of our employees and had a child and so she needs to stay put. So we had a replacement and so we went to the LA 'cause we were living in California at the time, it's on the California, went to the LA Personal Assistance Association. We went through five hires in five months and none of them were even close to good and they all sounded so good to start with and the one day I realized, you know, we're fishing in the sewer. Who comes to LA to become a personal assistant, they don't kind of become a personal assistant so they can help people change the world, help a family. They come because I discovered they wanted my clientele. They want to talk to Quincy Jones in those days or Anthony Hopkins or Slice the Lone or, you know, whoever it was that was dealing with at the time and they would treat them like gold and treat all my other clients and friends like they were dirt, right? Including my wife, which is so that I get rid of them. So I realized, you know, you've got to decide where are you going to find somebody who's more aligned with the job and their nature and their goals. Or I have a friend that I bumped into and Fiji went time I resorting Fiji and my wife and I were flying commercial most days still and we, you know, you go through immigration, there's about five lines. And I said, "Hey, why are we going this line here?" I'd look like it's fast. She goes, "No, this line's faster." I said, "Look, this is actually fast." She goes, "I think this one's faster." I said, "Fine, you go in that line. I'll go in this line." And we play these silly games, we're going to race. So we're going back and forth. I'm ahead and she's ahead, you know, back and forth. We're being silly. And this man, here's my voice because I said that on my wife. And he goes, "Tony, I turn on the look." And it's a guy, I hadn't seen him in about nine years, brilliant businessman. And I said, "Well, you're doing here." He goes, "What are you doing here?" I said, "Well, I'm here with my wife. I have a resort here. I'm here and take a few weeks off." And he said, "You're resorting here?" And I said, "Yeah." I said, "Where are you going?" He said, "Oh, too bad with a number of resorts." And he's like, "What are you doing for?" He goes, "I just got married." I said, "Again, it's his third marriage." He goes, "Yeah." And I said, "Where's your bride?" She was standing next to sage and they were doing the same thing we were doing. So, you know, you're in the line. I said, "So how long have you known her?" I'm talking to you about seven, eight years ago. He goes, "Yeah, probably just a little bit of a last time. I saw her probably seven years." So you're seven years ago, just now getting married. I said, "How come?" He goes, "She warmed me down." And I thought, "Oh, oh, oh, oh." So then quickly, I'm trying to change the conversation my head. I'm like, "Well, are you going to have kids?" He goes, "Tony, you know, I've had two fans for this. I went through all of that. I lost all my money twice. We are not." I said, "Well, I looked across in the swimmer's like 29 years old." He's 48. I said, "If you had a discussion about this," he goes, "Yes, that was my deal." And we get married, no kids. Something, oh my God, he's in for a rough ride. So we get to the front. We introduce each other's spouses and they go off. And I look at my wife, she looks at me and I go, "They're in trouble." She goes, "Oh, you have no idea." I said I'm gonna get you. What'd you learn? What'd you learn? She told him, yeah, he thinks we're not going to have a kid's beloved in two years. And they did and got divorced for a third time. The problem is they didn't have their goals aligned. You have to have all your goals aligned, but a major issue is like a child or not. It's got to be aligned or you're not going to sustain that relationship. So whether it's a business or whether I use business because it's easier to modulate in your head, right? Or a relationship. It's the critical element there. And then the last part is is that the right team fit in a business, you can relate to this. I'm sure all those businesses you run, you know, you got something just superstar with the wrong team fit. They rub against everybody else, they piss everybody else off. And maybe they like your top salesperson or your top marketing person, your top whatever. And you don't want to get rid of them because man, they bring in a lot of revenue. But unless you do, they'll destroy your business. They've always said, you know, it's not the person you failed higher. It's the person you failed to fire that destroyed your business. And so I'm a big believer in testing. Now one of the things I do with partnerships today, just as a little clue, I share this patch about David, David, the day I didn't realize how important it was. And I was like, I guess it really is. You see, because I haven't there so many rough ones. I said I was too. But when I do as a full background check on everyone now, and it saves me enormous amount. I tell them upfront, listen, I'm an open book. Please do a full background check. Everything on me that you want to check. But I don't go in any partnerships with a full background check. It's not out of disrespect. It's out of respect so that we know. And if there's anything that you want to share with us or anything comes up that you think is inappropriate, you can share it with me. I'll give you the report and so forth. Well, the panic you see in some people's eyes, then the tightening in some people. And then the people like, no, it's totally fine. And then you get the report and then they never call you back. I mean, I have saved myself so much money, time and energy by having that one investment in a long term relationship upfront. So smart. I wish I would have done that earlier on. Although I think some of the biggest partnership mistakes I made were cheap and retro-specced. They're painful. But you're like, I needed to lose that money. I needed to lose that relationship or I would have kept having the same pattern. Yeah, there's always a benefit. But as the years go by, you're probably less tolerant to having those things happen. Well, it's heartbreaking, I think, because the partnerships, I remember one in particular. I thought we were buddies. I was like, yeah, I'm like, I'm going to bet your baby. I thought we were best buds. And there was one instance where they kind of targeted me. I was on the internet. And I didn't realize there was this type of human that, you know, I guess there are predators everywhere. And so then I had to realize where am I short in my analysis of people. Yes. And how did I sell myself on what I wanted instead of what was in front of me? Most of my most important skills came from some early mistakes that people, one of which I had two partners and I brought them on board and made a deal. Then that was ridiculously good for them. But it was based still on some results. And they absolutely stole $7,000, $58,000. During 50 of the $7,000, $58,000, it put me in debt, $7,000, $58,000, why company was doing a million? So not billions, a million. Right? So I was like, all the money I knew and I'd been on the road two and 25 days. And everybody told me I have to go bankrupt. And I wanted to kill this guy. He fled to Mexico. And I realized, well, I'm chasing him in Mexico. I business is going to go under. So I went to Fiji and I was like, I was so angry at him, but I said, no, I'm most angry with his me because how did I not see this? Right? I don't care how good he presented. Was it about human behavior? I don't fully understand. And I was second day in Fiji in this sweaty little butt. And I went to sleep with that thought, just burning thought. I woke up the next morning and I wrote literally for six straight hours in, filled up three journals, all these distinctions. I made that. I created my day with destiny program because I did it to me. That's my favorite program. It's the only seminar I've been through because I did it for me. Changed everything. Rewired me so that, sometimes you have values that pull you apart. You want to please everybody and you want to do me the success as you can. You want to be totally honest. You want everybody totally happy, right? And I learned how to align my values so that I was pulled instead of having to push or being pulled in different directions. And was the most first time my life I felt calm. And everybody around me is like you're so different. It was like a rewiring for myself. So I agree with you. Sometimes you're biggest mistakes. If you learn from them are the most important ones. But I don't want to make the same mistakes. And so I look for systems to help with that as well. You have a program coming up in January that's time to rise summit. I've never been to this one before. Yes. I want to hear about it. And I also want to hear about how you prepare for these shows that you do because I hear you obsessively prepare even to this day for the shows you put on. Is that true? That's true. I just I believe in overloading my brain because I never know what's going to happen. Because I don't just do a wrote talk. I sometimes I'll prepare everything and then I go out with the audience and I feel different things. I see people. I see where they are. And I have to adjust. Also, could you imagine this will be my 49th year I'm about to begin. So I would be bored out of my brain if I was just doing the exact thing. I know there's certain things that work and what to do. But I have to be able to adapt to feel alive and do art. And art is something that's different every time. It's not the same. And it's also a challenge is me. So I feed my brain everything I can. And then I trust when I step on a stage, well, it'll be necessary. Is there what you mean? I know you feed it. Like, what does that look like? Like for example, my date with destiny, I have people fill out about a 20 page interview report. There's 5,000 of them. And I read them for a week. Not everybody does it, by the way. You know, some of you wait till last minutes. I don't turn it at all. It's only your destiny. Don't worry about it. But what it gives me is the patterns in the room. I mean, I'm a member of a name, every story. But I remember what the patterns are. And then when somebody stands up, even it wasn't that person. I know if I can work with this person and help them transform, I can be affecting 50 or 100 people simultaneously. That I consciously know about that's how I load my brain. I also brainstorm out different examples or tools. I'm always coming up with something new in terms of insight or strategy. And then, but the then you're talking about as a really unique event. I started it because of COVID because I was used to doing stadiums, right? And in 2020, Governor California's team calls me up. I know him well, not a big fan. Newsom calls you? Yeah. Well, Newsom had his team call me and then he wrote me directly. He's upset about me telling the world that he canceled the event, which he did. Right? Said, you're not making me look good. He said, like, you're a nice man. I like you personally, but I don't agree with your policies, right? It's ridiculous. So we had an event there for 14,000 people. And two weeks before he sends out the message to me from his team and says, you only put 100 people in a stadium. Our new rules. I said, I said to his people, I said, this is absurd. You know, we can't put 100 people in a stadium. We're going to do the other, you know, 13,000, you know, 900 people. And so I said, screw him. I'm going to move this thing to Vegas. They'll never shut down Vegas, right? So two weeks before we've 14,000 people to Vegas. And they shut down Vegas, right? So then I'm like, oh, my God, I mean, I need to help these people. The time they need us most is during this time because everybody's depressed and upset and not know what's going to happen. So I said, okay, let's move into Texas. Texas is its own country. I met the governor there. I don't know. I'm personally really well, but I met him. He says he's not going to shut down seven days before they shut down. We rented a big church, 14,000 people. So then I was like, I'm just relentless. I'm like, okay, well, they allow you to put 10 people in a movie theater. I said, okay, we'll do 14 other movie theaters, local for people that don't have to travel, big screens, a big sound, at least, you know, 10 people interacting with each other. And they shut down the movie theaters. So I was like, okay, we're going to build a studio. And my, my, see if I was like, you're going to build a studio like we lost $100 million in six months because I didn't want to fire anybody. Because everything you know, we kept saying we're 10 more days to stop the, you know, the language was these those days. And as like, so I said, we can't wait. So I bought a building because I couldn't build it fast enough. Fifty foot eye ceilings. I built 22 foot high LED screens. I made them 50 feet around me and got 0.67 resolution, highest resolution world. I could see more in your face than I can even see now because you have this much bigger, right? And then I'm called Eric, you on the founder of zoom and said, 1200 people's not going to work. I need 25,000 people. And he's a fan of mine. So he changed the text so we could do it. And then I hired all these people. I all said, we can't do this in nine weeks. I said, well, then you're not working here. And I just kept going through people. We literally the night before putting it all together. And we got up. We did this event and we had people from all over the earth that participated. And I had 193 countries there. And we had over 25,000 people. Normally we have 15,000. So it's even more people because they could do it from different places in the world they wanted to. So then I was like, okay, I want to I want to reach everybody. Let's do an event for free. Let's do one event for three days, not just an hour thing or two. Let's do like two and a half hours a day for three days enough to give people a real transformation. We'll do it right at the beginning of the year. It's kind of a comeback challenge. I called it back then. It's now called Time to Rise. And the comeback story is the best story of your life. You're down everything's not working. That's what inspires people. This is the comeback time. And we put it together. We had a million people show up, million one. And now we've done it for seven straight years. I think it's gonna be last year. I'll do it. I'm just my schedule is so full. But we do one last one. And we're gonna do it for three days and people from 193 countries of 10 every country in the world. And we go for like I say, two and a half hours and we help you not just make our new years our solution, which nobody keeps. Because they don't have a plan. They don't have a strategy or anything else. We help you create the breakthroughs that are necessary. And you become part of a really cool community. Because we have Facebook community. And so in the middle of the night, I get people an assignment. And they make these videos. and you see people transforming from all over the earth, every age group, every direction, every country, every language. So I love that aspect of it. And there's no charge for it. Literally, it's free. So if people go to time to rise summit, time to rise summit.com, time to rise summit.com, they can register for it and they can attend it. And you can think about like going to a great two and a half hour movie, three days in a row, but instead of just being entertained, at the end of your life is really transformed. And then, you know, we've done so much of it for people and some people aside, they want to do other things with us, which is wonderful, but there's no requirement, anyway, shape or form. And it's been my way to give back. It was desperately needed during COVID. And then we just kept the momentum for it for now. - Do I get claps at the event? The Tony Robbins claps? You do, don't you? 'Cause it's my favorite part of the event. Well, I can't wait to come to this next one. I can't wait to see what this next episode is for. - Well, that's only about it. You don't have to come to it. It's digital. - Come from my couch. - Yeah, if you can do it from your couch, you can do it from your office. And we start here at 10 in the morning. It's midnight in what you call it, Sydney, Australia, for example. And they go each day all the way through it as well. It's all three or four in the morning. So you'll be joined by people all over the earth and you have a cool community of people that all have something coming. They want more. They're not willing to settle. If you want more for your life, if you want time to rise and take more out of your life, you don't want to have next year by the same as last year, then you need some tools. You need some inspiration, you need some community. And you need some days where it's actually gonna happen. Like you said, put it on the calendar and make it lock. So it's coming up January 29th through the 31st, trying to 29th through 31st. And again, if they go to timetorisesomebot.com, catch us signed up and lock it in your calendar. And encourage people, bring your family, bring your friends or your coworkers at the office and do it, it'll be an experience you won't forget. (upbeat music)