The video explores ten life lessons learned over a decade of therapy, focusing on personal growth, mental health, and mindset shifts. It emphasizes that actions matter more than words, and that failure is a valuable part of learning—especially in mastering skills like riding a bike. The speaker highlights how overthinking about past mistakes is common yet unfounded, as most people don’t remember or care about small, embarrassing moments. True connection requires consistency, not fleeting affection. The video advocates for embracing uncertainty over staying in harmful, predictable situations, noting that personal standards, while sometimes isolating, protect one’s integrity. The core message is that while the past is fixed, the future is malleable—changing tomorrow’s actions can break anxiety loops and create new possibilities. The speaker shares that therapy, even with a male therapist, helped them process deep emotional patterns, especially related to father-son dynamics. The content blends personal reflection with broader life advice, encouraging viewers to embrace authenticity, self-compassion, and proactive change. It concludes with a call to action: to seek therapy, challenge overthinking, and invest in meaningful, consistent relationships. The segment also briefly promotes the Apple Sports app and 7-Up’s new lime-lemon soda as cultural shifts in consumer and media habits.
Want to be the one who's always in the know about the game, the scores, the plays?
Here's a tip.
The Apple Sports app.
Just pick your favorite teams and get automatic live updates without even knowing their schedules.
And when your team scores, it shows up right on your iPhone lock screen, making it easy to check in anytime.
So rule the group chat and download Apple Sports for free on the App Store or find it on your new iPhone.
For decades, a shadowy organization called the Lemonati has kept lemon on top and lime in the shadows.
Look around.
Lemon-forward sodas.
Even lemon-forward songs.
We ran the tracks, slowed them down, reversed them, and squeezed out the truth.
That's lemon propaganda right there.
But now, 7-Up is fighting back with their new lime-lemon soda.
Join the 7-Up rising.
Flip the sip.
10 years ago, I started therapy, and that man changed the way I think on a philosophical level.
He rocked my shit in terms of my anxiety and my depression and just the way I viewed the world and thought about life.
And I say this as somebody who is clinically diagnosed, medicated for anxiety and depression.
And I'm not going to say that what I'm about to say is going to solve all your problems.
And I am not a therapist.
I am not a licensed professional.
But these are 10 things that have just stuck with me.
And the older I get, I think the more I realize that this way of viewing the world has made everything better for me, honestly.
And I remember seeing Connor Franton make a video about this a few years ago.
And I just hit my 10-year mark of being in therapy this year.
So I thought it would be really fun to sort of explore my version of that and sort of what these things mean to me.
Also, this is my house.
Quick caveat.
A lot of people have commented, like, the other place I film at is actually a studio.
So this is my home.
And I randomly just had the inspiration to make this video today.
I'm trying to do that more.
I'm trying to lean more into just, like, being fun and creative when I feel like it.
So without further ado, welcome back to Nicky at Night.
I'm so happy to see you guys here.
I love you.
I hope that this – I know this is not a normal topic for me.
But I really hope you enjoy and learn something because this is a video that just felt important for me to make.
And I hope if it helps one person, then it was worth it to me.
Number one, people lie with their words but never lie.
Number two, they don't agree with their actions.
You are going to have some people in life that you meet who tell you how much they love you and tell you all these great things about yourself.
And it feels so good to be with them and hang out with them, but their actions are what matters.
And no matter how good that person makes you feel, no matter what words they say to you, if they don't have the actions to back that up, it doesn't mean shit.
And you're going to have some other friends who maybe aren't very deep in that relationship.
, you failed a lot.
You fell over.
You couldn't turn right.
You didn't know how to do the brakes.
You fell and it hurt.
But you learned your lesson until you got on the bike and you rode it smoothly and then it became easy.
Now, you don't even think about it.
It's not like you got on the bike, you failed once, and then you just never know how to ride a bike anymore, right?
It was like, no, the failure was a part of that progress.
And you learn more by doing than thinking of doing, right?
You could stare at the bike.
You can study the bike.
You can make a PowerPoint presentation on all the different ways you are thinking about riding and your strategy for riding.
But at the end of the day. you got to get on the bike and you got to fall over and it's going to hurt, but that's okay
because the faster you fall over, the faster you learn how to ride it and you move on to the next
thing and it takes you to where you need to go. Number seven, it's not that deep. Literally,
nobody cares. In a beautiful way, nobody cares about you. As a chronic overthinker, as somebody
with medical anxiety, I am constantly in turmoil of like, oh my God, what I said was so embarrassing.
Oh my God, I should have responded to this thing sooner. Oh my God, blah, blah, blah. I am constantly
overthinking all the time and what's crazy is nobody cares. The thing that you felt you said
so weird, they don't remember. Literally, close your eyes and think of the last time you went to
a party, whatever the last party you went to was. Tell me three things that people said in all the
conversations you had that were embarrassing. You either don't remember any or literally didn't
happen at all. Why?
Because you don't care and it's not that deep, right? Everybody overanalyzes and overthinks
everything they do, but no one else is thinking that way. I think it's so important to realize
all these things and thoughts you have are not real. They feel real. Your body releases chemicals
in response to those emotions, but it's in your head. Literally, everybody's moved on. Nobody
cares. They're anxious about their own shit. They have another thing that they said that they're
worrying about. They're not thinking about you. They are thinking about themselves and that's a
beautiful thing. Don't worry about it.
They didn't even notice, and if they did, they don't care.
Number eight, uncertainty is always better than certain misery. We have this tendency, I think
it's human nature, to seek out comfort, even when we know it's wrong for us. We would rather be in
a situation that we know is creating this certain misery than we would to dive into the deep unknown
and pursue this uncertainty. You can see this in all sorts of things. You see this with jobs, where
people know that they don't like to work, that they don't like to work, that they don't like to work,
that they don't like their boss, and that there's not a lot of room for growth at that company, but
they stay there for years. You see this with relationships and people who are like chronic
daters, where they are so unhappy with their partner. They fight all the time. It's so clear
that that relationship causes them more stress than happiness, yet they're in it still, and that
is because this people are more satisfied with comfort. They would prefer this certain misery
over uncertainty, but that is not a formula for happiness, you know, like, you know, like, you know,
like, if you are on a burning ship, it is better to dive into the open ocean, right? Like, it might
not sink now, it might not sink tomorrow, but it's gonna sink at some point, and you're gonna
have a better chance of survival swimming, hoping for shore, hoping to find a new ship, whatever it
is. Uncertainty will always be better than certain misery. Number nine, the higher your standards are,
the more lonely you will be, and that is okay. I feel this,
all the time, with, like, relationships, where sometimes I'm like, damn, like, I've been single
for a while, and then I will meet some people's boyfriends, and I'm like, god damn, I could never
date somebody like this, right? Like, having standards is very lonely. Standards are a filter
to who gets access to you, and the higher those are, the less people get that access,
and it's very interesting to look at that, like, what's wrong with me? Why,
have I gone this long without a relationship, or why do I not have as many friends as some other
people I know? And that's because you have higher standards than them, and I think that's actually a
good thing. I think it's a very good thing to know what is your level of, like, respect, and what
somebody means to be a friend to you, and if they cannot meet that, then they don't get it, right?
Like, I always say, there is no bench on Team Nikki. You are either on the roster, one of my people who I ride for,
or, like, you are not allowed in the stadium, right? Like, I'm not entertaining this wishy-washy
lack of consistency and friendship. We get each other, or we don't, and that's okay.
Number 10, yesterday is set in stone, but tomorrow is unwritten. A very tough thing to realize,
but I do think it's, like, beautiful when you really figure it out, is, like, you can't change
the past. You just can't. You can overthink it. You can talk about it. You can reminisce on it.
Set in stone. It already happened, but you can change tomorrow. Tomorrow, it can be anything you
want it to be. It can be a fun day. It can be a work day. It can be a lay in bed rot day. Tomorrow
is up to you, and when I find this myself trapped in these loops of, like, overthinking and anxiety
that is so rooted in, you know, the past or things that I've done, I really just try to channel that
into, like, what can I do tomorrow to be further away from that situation? And going
back to what I said earlier, right? If you want new outputs in life, you have to put in new inputs,
and you can be sad about yesterday. You can be depressed about yesterday. You can overthink
yesterday, but if you want a better tomorrow, put in new inputs. Do something else. Go somewhere new.
Talk to a new person. Even do something that you normally do, like work, but in a new place,
whatever. Like, you can always change the future, and we obsess and fixate over the past when in
more on how do we make the future better, because that we can actually change, and that was 10 years
of therapy in 10 minutes. I hope that I taught you something. Maybe. I don't know. I know this is so
not my normal content. Also, is this video actually 10 minutes? I can't even see. I hope so, because
if not, the whole concept kind of is not as fun, but I tried, okay? Also, there's an intro. There's
an outro. What do you want from me? Maybe somebody got inspired to go into therapy. Go to therapy.
That's just helpful, girl. I loved my therapist. Also, surprisingly, my therapist was a straight man,
okay? And I know a lot of people go into therapy like, oh my god, like, I need a woman. I need
blah, blah, blah. I actually thought it was very helpful to have a therapist who's a straight man,
especially because when I first started, so many of my issues were geared around my relationship
with my father, and it was very helpful, I think, to have, like, a straight male who was also a
father, because he could challenge me in ways that, like, other people can't, you know what I mean?
Or, like, my friends couldn't. Like, perspective is a very valuable thing, and that's the beauty
of therapy and having a therapist. I don't know. It feels kind of rare. I always talk about things
I very rarely talk about myself, so I want to find more ways to do that. But I love you. Don't
forget to subscribe to the channel. You know, give us a five-star rating on Spotify. Y'all know the
drill. And I'll see you next week with some fun interview. Bye.
rule the group chat and download apple sports for free on the app store or find it on your new iphone
coca-cola for the big for the small the short and the tall peacemakers risk takers
for the optimists pessimists for long distance love for introverts and extroverts
the thinkers and the doers for old friends and new
coca-cola for everyone pick up some coca-cola at a store near you
Podcast Summary
Key Points:
The Apple Sports app provides automatic live updates and real-time score alerts on the iPhone lock screen, helping users stay informed without checking schedules manually.
A hidden marketing campaign reveals that 7-Up is launching a lime-lemon soda to challenge the long-standing dominance of lemon-forward products, signaling a shift in flavor trends.
Therapy has profoundly reshaped the speaker’s mindset, particularly in managing anxiety, depression, and overthinking, leading to a more balanced and resilient worldview.
True relationships are defined by action, not words—people who fail to act on their promises or statements lack genuine commitment, regardless of how kind their words may be.
Failure is a necessary part of growth; learning through real-world experience—like learning to ride a bike—leads to progress, while overthinking or idealizing outcomes hinders progress.
Most people don’t remember or care about embarrassing moments, meaning self-criticism is often exaggerated and not reflective of reality.
Uncertainty is preferable to certain misery, as staying in uncomfortable, unsatisfying situations (like toxic jobs or relationships) leads to long-term suffering rather than growth.
Higher personal standards lead to greater loneliness, but this is healthy and valid—true connections come only from mutual respect and consistency.
Summary:
The video explores ten life lessons learned over a decade of therapy, focusing on personal growth, mental health, and mindset shifts. It emphasizes that actions matter more than words, and that failure is a valuable part of learning—especially in mastering skills like riding a bike. The speaker highlights how overthinking about past mistakes is common yet unfounded, as most people don’t remember or care about small, embarrassing moments.
True connection requires consistency, not fleeting affection. The video advocates for embracing uncertainty over staying in harmful, predictable situations, noting that personal standards, while sometimes isolating, protect one’s integrity. The core message is that while the past is fixed, the future is malleable—changing tomorrow’s actions can break anxiety loops and create new possibilities.
The speaker shares that therapy, even with a male therapist, helped them process deep emotional patterns, especially related to father-son dynamics. The content blends personal reflection with broader life advice, encouraging viewers to embrace authenticity, self-compassion, and proactive change. It concludes with a call to action: to seek therapy, challenge overthinking, and invest in meaningful, consistent relationships.
The segment also briefly promotes the Apple Sports app and 7-Up’s new lime-lemon soda as cultural shifts in consumer and media habits.
FAQs
The Apple Sports app provides automatic live updates on scores, plays, and game schedules. It sends real-time notifications directly to your iPhone lock screen when your team scores, making it easy to stay informed anytime.
7-Up has launched a lime-lemon soda to counter the trend of lemon-forward sodas and drinks. This move is seen as a strategic shift to 'flip the sip' and challenge the dominance of lemon-based flavors.
The video shares 10 key insights from 10 years of therapy, including the idea that people lie with words but not actions, failure is part of growth, and uncertainty is better than certain misery.
The speaker notes that people rarely remember embarrassing moments from conversations, showing that what you think is deeply personal is often not significant to others. This helps reduce anxiety over past interactions.
The speaker argues that people often stay in uncomfortable situations (like bad jobs or relationships) to avoid uncertainty. However, embracing uncertainty can lead to better outcomes, like escaping a harmful situation to find a healthier one.
The speaker explains that setting high standards for relationships or friendships limits who can enter your life. While this may result in fewer connections, it ensures only people who truly meet your values are included.
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