080 Power Pocket: Beyond Survival

[MUSIC] We're here to empower women to get on stuff, embrace their passions, and confident in pursuit of goals. >> We deep dive into the complexities of personal growth, offering encouragement, real life insights and tools to help you navigate your path with joy. >> Through heartfelt conversations. >> In-site phone analysis. >> And in plenty of laughter, we aim to create a supportive community with one that can thrive and find information in every episode. >> Hey, I'm Lucie Chinacole, and I'm Jacquuela Lynn. >> And you're unpacking with the Leonard sisters. >> Hey, hey, welcome back to unpacking with the Leonard sisters. I am Jacquuela Lynn, and we are still bringing you power pocket episodes while life settles down a bit on our end. So today I want to talk to you about something that's been near and dear to my heart, which is, who are you when you're not surviving? I've been going through the most challenging season of my life, and life has been full. My schedule has been busy, these big transitions happening. And rather than disappear, I had to really tap in and see who I am when I'm not surviving. And I've been talking to my friends about it too. And there have been a few women that I've connected with recently, where we realize that identity is a big thing. And we had to question who we are when we're not surviving. Because for so many of us, survival becomes our identity. Since talked about it last week when we're the strong one, or you're the caregiver, the wife, the mom, the employee, the entrepreneur, the student, the leader, the problem solver. I mean, the one who holds everything together. And after carrying those roles for so long, we can be so attached to what we do that we lose sight of who we are. So lately, I've been connecting, like I said, with some women having these real conversations around identity, not our titles, not our accomplishments, not our responsibilities, but simply us. And the one thing that keeps surfacing is most of us know exactly what we do, but we're not always sure who we are. Who are you when nobody needs anything from you? Who are you when there isn't a problem to solve? Who are you when you're not carrying the emotional weight of everybody around you? Or when you're just not in survival mode? Who are you? And maybe that's a difficult question to answer because life has required so much from you. As women, we spend years navigating struggles, marriage, divorce, single parenting, caregiving, financial challenges, health concerns, career changes, loss, disappointment. That list goes on and on and on. And I'm just letting me my list for you. I can't even imagine what's on your list, you know? But we're doing things just to make it through today. And survival is not a bad thing. I'm not saying that. But sometimes survival is exactly what a season requires. Sometimes surviving is truly the victory that you can celebrate. But survival is never meant to become like your permanent address. You don't stay in that space. And at some point, we have to give ourselves permission to explore who we are beyond what we've gone through. So I'm going to ask you a few questions. What makes you laugh? What are you curious about? What do you enjoy? What energizes you? What's that thing that makes you lose track of time? What would you do if nobody was great in it, paying for it, applauding it, or expecting it from you? And really, these are questions that actually matter when you're trying to figure out who you are. Because somewhere along the way, we may have stopped asking those questions. We may become productive instead of present, you know, responsible instead of reflective. And if we're not careful, we can spend years meeting everyone else's needs while becoming strangers to ourselves. And I realize that in this season of my life, healing isn't just about recovering from what hurts you. What's healing is rediscovering what delights you. It's remembering the parts of yourself that got very beneath responsibility. It's reconnecting with that woman underneath all those roles and titles. That woman who used to drink had all these interests and gifts and desires. And those things had nothing to do with serving everybody else. So here's what I want you to hear today. You don't have to earn the right to know yourself. You don't have to finish healing fires. You don't have to wait until the divorce is finalized, till the kids get older to your initial degree, until life is perfect. You can start getting reacquainted with yourself right now. So here's this week's growth challenge. Do one thing that has absolutely nothing to do with your responsibilities. Not your to-do list, not your job, not your family obligations, not your goals. It's something that brings you joy, peace, curiosity, wonder, and/or delight. Because you could find something that does all of that. And then ask yourself, what did I learn about me? And when you do, I love to hear about it. So connect with me on social media. I'm @jaquelaland everywhere. @jaculalia. L-I-A-L-Y-N-N on all social media platforms. Give me a message, leave me a comment, or tag me and share your growth challenge with me. Because sometimes the most powerful growth happens when we share it with someone else. And you know we love that because. Growth loves company. Bam. Bam.