How to Stay Fat Forever (DO THE OPPOSITE) | #389

What if the key to success wasn't just setting goals, but obsessing over what you don't want to become? The greatest athletes in the world, I'm a big sports guy, are MJ, Tom Brady, Kobe Bryant. Those are just some of my favorites. And they didn't just love to win, but they hated to lose. As I study their movements and their patterns and the way that they live their lives, I'm like, what makes these guys different? And what makes a lot of them different is their hate for losing. And today we're gonna use that same mindset. We're gonna flip traditional goal setting on its head with something called the anti-vision. And if you've struggled staying fit, if you've struggled building your dream life or maybe fixing your relationships, this process and this principle applies to any goal that you have set in your life, I really believe this is going to be helpful because it's something that has helped me tremendously, especially when I feel like I lack clarity. I'm like, what is the next step? What am I gonna do next? Because I think it's really hard to think, oh, where do I see myself in the next five years? That is not an easy question to ask. But I'm gonna walk through the process on how you can uncover that if you're also someone who struggles answering that question for yourself. Now, if you're brand new to the Ransom Bodies Project, I wanted to personally welcome you because you're in the right place. My goal with this podcast is to make complicated, overwhelming topics that might go over your head, simple and easy for you to understand again. Now, when we're talking about the best athletes in the world, think about guys like LeBron James, Kobe Bryant, Shaquille O'Neal, I like basketball, so that's why I'm naming a lot of basketball guys, Magic Johnson, Larry Bird, okay? What do these guys have in common? They hate to lose more than they love to win. I remember when I heard that about Kobe, Kobe is my favorite athlete of all time. Hey, especially growing up in Southern California, saw a bunch of Lakers games, still go to Lakers games, got Kobe jerseys and everything. Kobe, love Kobe Bryant. Have you ever watched him play? Like, he hates losing. And maybe, you know, I know for me when I watch sports, one of the most memorable moments in sports is when during a championship game, specifically when I watch like, let's say college basketball, you know, March Madness, you know, during the championship game, the winning team wins, they drop the confetti onto the court. And what do you see? You see the losing team walk off. And a lot of the times when the losing team walks off, a lot of those dudes are crying. And you're like, what could make a grown man cry like that? A lot of times it's that feeling of loss, of losing. And for me, every time I've seen that happen, I see at the Super Bowl, you know, you see it happen. The losing team walks off and these guys are crying. You see it in March Madness, in basketball. You see it in the NBA. Like these guys hate to lose. When you're competing at the highest level, you hate losing. You don't wanna lose. And the losing is one of the things that can make any man or woman cry in the moment if they're passionate about what they're doing. So here's the concept. And here's how we can apply this to your weight loss journey. I apply this to business. I apply this to relationships, everything. This helps with clarity, motivation, and achieving your goals. You create what's called an anti-vision. In this anti-vision, what you're doing is you're looking at your life and you're like, I hate to lose. So how can I apply this mindset of hating to lose to all the areas of my life? And I think for a lot of people, they have a hard time conceptualizing the next step in their life, their next goals, the next thing you're chasing after. Let's say, you know, you wanna lose 20 pounds, cool. But most people, the reason why they're not able to accomplish a lot of the things they want in their life is because they're trying to win. The difference between second place and first place is the great hates to lose. So how does this apply to your body transformation and weight loss? This has a lot to do with weight loss and body transformation. So for you, you might have a hard time getting fit right now. You're like, I have a hard time getting in shape. I have a hard time losing weight. I have a hard time building muscle. Whatever your goal is right now, you have a hard time doing it. How about you try not being fat? Like, let's be real. How about you try, instead of trying to get fit, switch it and be like, I'm gonna try not to get fat. And when you try not to get fat, it actually becomes super simple. Because the thing with fitness is fitness can feel like this overwhelming, like I don't know where to start. Should I do this diet or that diet? Should I do this cardio? Should I take this supplement? Should I work out four times a week or five times a week? Should I fast? Should I do this? This person said to do this, and then you watch another video on Instagram and the other person just contradicts exactly what they said. And you're like, I don't know what to do. If you don't know what to do, how about you just try not getting fat? And I actually wrote out what it would look like to not get fat. And the way that you do this to create an anti-goal is you ask yourself, okay, if I was going to be fat forever, what would I do? And so I'm gonna go through, I think I wrote like 20 something characteristics and just habits that a fat person would do. And then you look at that and you're like, I'm gonna do the opposite. Because here's the thing, it's hard to conceptualize a positive goal you have set in your mind, but it is so easy to be negative. The human mind is naturally negative. Can we all agree on that? Human mind is negative. Like all day long, you're negative, negative, negative, negative. So how can I use my natural tendency to be negative to my advantage? I think in anti-goals and anti-vision. So here's what it is. If I wanted to stay fat forever, I would start tomorrow, not today. I would use food to deal with stress. I would blame genetics and age. I would never walk anywhere and I would sit all day long. I would get motivated, but I would do nothing about it. I would work out only when I had time. I would wing my food and never plan ahead. I would drink a lot of my calories. I would look in the mirror and call myself fat every time I saw a mirror. I would never do anything that makes me feel uncomfortable. I would only do cardio if I worked out and I would never weight lift. I would tell myself that I was too busy all the time. I'm too busy, I'm too busy, I'm too busy. I would never track calories or weigh myself because I get triggered by it, quote unquote. I would wait for perfect conditions to start. I would avoid eating protein because I would fear that it would make me bulky. I would switch diets every couple of months to the one that is currently trending. I would tell everyone and their mom that I'm going to lose weight and then I would never do it. I would drink soda and beer and forget to drink water. I would tell myself that losing weight is too hard because of my metabolism or age and I would blame my kids and my wife instead of taking self-responsibility. That's what I would personally do to get fat. Like if I was like, okay, what would I do to get fat? It's real easy to think through what you're gonna do to get fat but sometimes it can be hard to think through what you're gonna do to get fit. So you think to yourself, what would I do to get fat? And then you do the exact opposite of that. Now you can apply the same principle to marriage. So let's say I was like, okay, it's hard for me to conceptualize building a stronger marriage, but it's easy to be like, hey, how do I get a divorce? So how do you get a divorce? You would never spend time together. You'd probably look at pictures of the opposite sex all day long on your phone. You would talk negatively about your spouse in front of other people. You would never have a date night ever. You would never say I love you to your spouse. You would never kiss goodnight. You would disagree on almost everything. You would raise your voice and yell at each other all day long. See what I'm saying here? So I look at this and I'm like, okay, how do I avoid these things? What is the opposite of that? And I start to do the opposite. The reason why this is so important is because all day long, you're just blasted with negativity. Sometimes it can be hard for you to conceptualize being positive. Like that's the truth. Being positive isn't the easiest thing, but I can think through the negative and use that to my advantage, use my brain to my advantage. So instead of asking myself, how do I become successful? I asked myself. It's called inversion thinking. I asked myself, what would cause me to fail? So let's say you're starting a new program. Like what would cause you to fail this program that you're starting? You'd probably watch a ton of videos, but not do anything with it. You would probably never reach out for help when you really needed it. You would probably not show up to the things you're supposed to show up to. So ask yourself, what would cause this thing to fail and actually do this with, with my business? I look at my business, like, okay. Instead of setting, I don't know what a five-year vision looks like for business, but I could tell myself where I don't want to be in five years, what would cause my business to fail in the next five years? So then you start thinking through, okay, well, that would cause it to fail. That would cause it to fail. That would cause it to fail. So maybe if I have a hard time, time conceptualizing. What I want to do in the next five years, I know exactly what I don't want to do. And one of my favorite Bible verses, it's Proverbs 29, 18. This is where there is no vision, the people perish. And if you lack motivation in your life right now, odds are you do not have a vision for what is next. And if you have trouble creating the vision, then you have to create an anti-vision. So instead of thinking about the things that you want in life, like, what do you want in life? I don't know what I want in life. I just want to survive. I want to be good. Think about the things you don't want. Think about the things you don't want. Instead of thinking about, Oh, what do you want in your marriage? What do you want for your kids? Think about the things that you don't want. That's easy. So how do you build your anti-vision? So let's get practical. I'm talking about how to, how to build it. Think to yourself, if you do not make changes today, where will your life be in the next five years? This is actually a question I ask people a lot of times. Okay. Let's say, you know, you're overweight right now. You know, you need to lose 40 to 50 pounds. The question for yourself to answer is this. If you don't lose this weight today and you just stay the same, where will you be five years from now? Now, thinking through that might feel uncomfortable, but you have to take yourself there. You got to go through the process and think this way, because you're going to think to yourself, Oh man, I might end up in a nursing home. I might end up on medications that I don't want to be on. Like I might be six feet deep in the grave. And then you sit in that, you sit in that like, wow, that is real. That is real. I might need assisted. I might be in an assisted living home. Think about that. Put yourself there, put yourself five years from now in an assisted living home, and you don't want to be there and feel that emotion, that emotion right there might be all the motivation. You need to take action on that goal. Maybe taking action on losing 30 pounds is hard, but I can almost promise you taking action on not being in an assisted living nursing home five years from now will be a lot easier than setting a goal of losing 30 to 40 pounds. It will. Or maybe you're like, man, like I might have to have knee surgery or I might have to have hip surgery. Think through that. Think about your relationships. You're like, Oh, like, it's really hard for me to. For me to think about like having a better marriage. Okay. If you don't change your marriage right now, where will your marriage be in the next five years? This is actually something I thought about my job. Like when I quit my job, um, I remember thinking to myself, if I don't quit my job now and go all in on ransom bodies, where will I be in the next five years? I might not have this opportunity. I literally thought to myself that like this, my opportunity might not be here five years from now. This is very scary to quit my job, but I know like right now is the time to do it. And I did it. And it was one of the best decisions ever made. Maybe you're having a hard time with your kids. If you don't make time for your kids today, where will your relationship with your kids be five years from now? And you think through that. And one of the ways to build the habits around your anti-vision is to observe society and do the opposite. So it's super easy to think through fitness wise. You, what your anti-vision looks like because it's all around you. Your anti-vision is everywhere. So you go to different places and you're like, I don't want to do that. I don't want to do this. I remember the other day I went to eat and, um, I went to eat at a restaurant. There was a Wingstop right next to it. And I just watched the people walk into the Wingstop and I'm like, oh, okay. The Wingstop is not the place to be. I'm like, okay, I want to do the opposite. Don't go to Wingstop. Don't go to this place. You know, like, don't do this. The average person goes to bed at 1130 at night. And so I see that and I'm like, I don't want to be the average person. Anti-vision. I'm not going to go to bed at 1130 at night. You do the opposite of what society is doing. You watch the 99%. And if you want to become the 1%, all that means is I do the opposite of what the 99% do, everybody else is drinking on the weekend. Watching TV. What are you doing? You're at the grocery store. You're meal prepping. You're showing up to the gym. You're doing the opposite. Everybody else is watching. Gossip TV. What are you doing? You're listening to a podcast. You're learning about fitness. You're showing up to the gym. You're going and doing steps. You're doing the opposite of what society does. And you continually do that over time. You will become the 1%. It just happens. And then I think another thing that really helps with this is thinking to yourself. What is my not to do list? So it's really easy. We write to do this all the time. Oh, I need to do this today. I need to do this today. Check box, check, check, check, check, check. But what about your not to do list? What are the things that you will not do? I will not hit the snooze button. I will not talk negatively about my wife in front of other people. I will not curse. I will not stay up past 11 PM. I will not drink alcohol. I will not do this. I will not do that. I will not have sweets late at night or whatever it is for you. Just given examples, build a not to do list. So I create the anti-vision where I don't want to be in the next five years. And then what are the things that would make me go through on that anti-vision? And then that is my not to do list. Okay. You're like alcohol got to go. That is on your not to do list. You're like, Oh, if I wanted to get fat in the next five years, I'd probably drink a lot of alcohol. So that means I might need to cut back a little bit. Might need to cut it down. You're like, Oh, if I wanted to get fat forever, I would drink a lot of Starbucks frappuccinos. Okay. Maybe you need to cut back on those. So what is the thing that you're doing right now that is not leading to a fitter version of yourself down the road? So whenever you're in a situation where you're conceptualizing your life and you're trying to set goals and literally any aspect of your life, and it is hard to create the vision because where there is no vision, the people perish, you need to have a vision or else you're going to perish, create the anti-vision and then you create anti-goals. So step one is the anti-vision. Step two is the anti-goals. Step three is the not to do list. And I have my not to do list. I will not do this. I will not do that. I will not do that. And then you can reverse engineer your goals so much easier. So I hope you got value from this episode. This is a concept that has really changed my life. And whenever I'm feeling cloudy in my head, I'm feeling like there is like a sense of uncertainty. I'll go to this anti-vision and it's very easy for my brain to think this way. Then I reverse engineer my goals and what I want to do from there. So if you found this podcast helpful, there's two ways you can support the podcast that are no cost way for you to support way. Number one is you could actually subscribe to the podcast on Apple or you can follow it on Spotify. And that is a massive help. Tremendous way for the podcast to reach new people. Way. Number two is you could actually leave the podcast at genuine five-star review anywhere that you listen to it, either on Spotify or on Apple. Have the best day of your entire life. God bless you. Thank you so much for tuning in and I'll see you on the next one. Peace.