5 Business Truths... Wait Till You Hear #4!

Now these are things that your business coach doesn't want you to know. Today what we're diving into is literally the five unsexy truths about business. They will have you think that everything in business is flow and ease and grace and beautiful and we're all just going to be lit up as fuck, hashtag gratitude, you know, and the money is just going to float in the window and slap us in the face one day. All right? And to be honest with you, you know, they themselves, and I look, I send love, but they themselves know that's a lie because they know what it is that they've had to put in, you know, to get the level of success that it is that they have now as well. So as your business coach, that is what I'm here for. I am here for your success. I want us all to win. And so that we can just simply, you know, make you as much money as possible, as fast as possible. Cosmic Money, the podcast, the strategy and energetics of seven figure business. Hello, hello, gorgeous beings. Welcome, welcome, welcome to today's podcast. I'm your host, Skye Hanley. I'm really excited to bring you today's podcast. I mean, let's face it. I'm probably really excited every day that I'm bringing you a podcast. However, look, here's the thing you guys, today, what we're diving into is literally the five unsexy truths about business. Now, these are things that your business coach doesn't want you to know, but I'm your business coach now. And so if you know anything about me and my journey, especially of late and this year, and as we move forward into season two, you know that I want to not only demystify, I suppose, you know, all the different things that go out there in the business world, the business coaching world, the coaching coaching world, the, you know, the service based business world, the, you know, the full extension, all right? I want to demystify so much of what it is that we see that goes on out there and actually bring you the cold, hard truths about things and the answers, right? Because if we can understand at a much greater level, you know, all the different, I don't know, varying levels of business, of strategy, of soul, of action, of alignment, of impact, of income, then, you know, in its entirety, we're going to have far more success, all right? So as your business coach, that is what I'm here for. I am here for your success. I want us all to win. And so to do that, to help support you, we need to talk about some fucking unsexy things that, as I said, the, you know, the social media verse or the celebrity, you know, coaches and stuff like that with their overnight, you know, IG success, they don't want you to know this stuff. They will have you think that everything in business is flow and ease and grace and beautiful, and we're all just going to be lit up as fuck, hashtag gratitude, you know, and the money is just going to float in the window and slap us in the face one day, all right? And to be honest with you, you know, they themselves, and look, I send love, but they themselves know that's a lie because they know what it is that they've had to put in, you know, to get the level of success that it is that they have now as well, all right? So we're not into cookie cutters around here. I want to bring you my over 20 years of experience in business, all right, in running businesses and then in coaching people in business for the last 10 years, you know, again, so that you can succeed and so that we can just simply, you know, make you as much money as possible, as fast as possible. So let's jump into these five unsexy truths that your business coach doesn't want you to know. Number one, all right, number one, you might be feeling a little bit overwhelmed right now, to be honest with you, with this podcast just in its own right, but the first one is, right, number one is, at some point in time, you're going to feel overwhelmed, all right? Guaranteed, you know, and to be honest with you, if I sit here and think about it, like, let me change that a little bit. At some point in time, probably this week, you're going to feel overwhelmed, all right? You are going to feel overwhelmed this week, you're probably going to feel overwhelmed next week, you're probably going to feel overwhelmed the week after, like, it is just, God, I make it sound terrible, but I mean, look, you know, we're here for reality, right? So, often, often in business, shit hits the fan, right? Something unexpected, something is going to change, somebody is going to ghost you, something you weren't expecting, some money has fallen through, you know, a bill that, you know, a bill's come through that you didn't expect and things like that, right? And so, we have to understand that, you know, unfortunately and kind of fortunately, I suppose, that a little bit of overwhelm comes with the job title of, you know, entrepreneur. If you have your own business, at some point in time, you are going to feel overwhelmed and often, you know, and probably often, full stop, all right? So, if we can understand that, okay, if we can just simply, you know, you and I, we're just sitting here with just a couple of friends having a buddy buddy conversation, right? And I'm laying down the truth that, guess what, some point in time, you're probably going to feel overwhelmed, then perhaps from that space of understanding, from that place of knowing, you can either stop beating yourself up, you know, for feeling that very human response, which is supernatural and normal contained within, you know, the business spectrum and the entrepreneurial space and things like that, you can stop beating yourself up and you can stop adding, you know, the additional 10% of wronging yourself for feeling that to begin with anyway. Because feeling overwhelmed and having to solution the fuck out of some unexpected challenge that has, you know, arisen, right? That is enough. That is an experience enough in its own right. When something comes up and you're like, oh my god, I didn't expect that. What the fuck am I going to do about this? What does that even look like? I was really banking on that, you know, whatever your thought process might be, right? And you want to kind of go into shutdown mode. What if that is just enough as an experience of its own? And you don't then need to go, gosh, I should be better at this by now, or I shouldn't have to feel like this, or, you know, I want to be able to deal with this. Why isn't it as easy as I want it to be? Because fucking business is not easy. Business is not easy. And whatever kind of business you're in, you know, I just liken it to coaches because coaches is very easy for me, but coaching is one skill set, business is another, all right? E-commerce is a skill set, businessing and e-commerce brand is another, branding is a skill set, business is another, marketing is a skill set, business is another. Whatever it is that you do, you could be, you know, spiritual, you could be health, you could be relationship, you could be, you know, you could be business yourself, double business like I am, right? I'm a business coach for business people, you know? All of these, you know, have their own inherent amount of difficulty that comes with them. Like, so if we're then, and I often say, you guys, and have a think about this question for yourself as well, right? I often say, if there was one thing that I could remove from humanity, so for you, what would you remove from humanity? What would you go, you know what, if I could solve this, maybe it's hunger, maybe it's like, you know, shelter, maybe it's, you know, something behavioral or mindset related, kind of like it is for me. So if I could remove one thing from humanity or just solve one problem like magic wand, it would be the 10% that people put on top of them when they wrong themselves for daring to have an emotion or an experience anyway. You're already a human, you know, you might be having an overwhelming experience, that experience is enough without you beating yourself up for having it to begin with. Makes sense? So when we look at business, when we look at entrepreneurship, when we look at marketing, when we look at money, when we look at, you know, social media, all the different things, you are going to be overwhelmed at some point in time and probably potentially on a regular basis, all right? So now, you know, we can take that percentage off the top, you know, we can stop wronging you for being human and for, you know, going through a journey and stuff like that, right? And we can hopefully, like, hack you, right, into moving forward quicker. Because again, you guys have heard me say, we're in season two now, across every episode that I've ever had a guest, I always ask them, you know, questions around their hardship, their challenges, and their mentality around those things, how they deal with that, and what is the reoccurring theme, you know, in my language, the thing I keep saying to all of you as well, pick the fucking crown up, dust the motherfucker off and keep going. It doesn't mean you're not crying, it doesn't mean you're not having a melt down on the floor like I do or whatever it is. But, you know, you trust enough that there is a solution and you will find one or you will get help. All right, resilience. Okay, so it's not about not feeling overwhelmed, it's how you then choose to deal with that overwhelm that is actually important in business. Because if you choose to deal with the overwhelm by, you know, hiding in the background of your business for the next 10 days and not actually doing anything and not showing up on social media and not taking any action because one person, you know, ghosted you and said no to your deal or offer or something like that, money you were banking on, why then waste the next 10 days that you could be selling and replenishing, you know, that money or that client, you know, because you're having a bit of an emotional experience or something like that and beating yourself up and you always knew you were going to be a failure anyway. How does that help? It doesn't. All right, and we'll talk about that a little bit more in a second. So the second thing, all right, the second unsexy truth that I want to share with you today is that it takes work, you guys. It actually takes work. And again, I know that, you know, bless them, you know, the insta-famous celebrity kind of business coaches and stuff like that will have you believe, as I said at the beginning of this podcast, will have you believe that it is grace, flow, and ease every single day. I assure you it is not. And I know, you know, some of these people, I call them, you know, my friends, and I know that for them it hasn't always been easy. I know that they have struggles and, you know, and that is real. And so I think it's so important that, you know, I don't think people go out of their way to necessarily paint a picture on social media. Gosh, you know, I almost laugh my way through that. Look, that definitely happens. That definitely happens. I'm not saying it never happens. But what I am saying is that social media in its own right especially is this kind of microcosm, as we all know, we all know this. It is like, it is the microcosm of all the good. It's like, look at me, look what I'm up to, here I am, you know, like hashtag living my best life, like all of those kinds of things. And yes, that is true. And yes, that is real. And yes, so is, you know, gratitude for all of the amazing pieces that, to be honest with you, entrepreneurship gives us. Like, fuck yes to that. I'm not here to talk you out of your own business, right. I'm here to have you take a few percentages off the top, right, and point out some things that are going to happen. Because if they are guaranteed to happen, and if you understand that, and you know that, right, number one, I'm integrity, I'm in integrity as a business coach, because it's my job to protect you as best as I can from the clunkiness of it all, right. But if the clunkiness occurs, which it's guaranteed to, that somehow we have either hacked you, hacked around you, future proof we've done something, even just to alert you, hey, it's actually really fucking normal, okay. It's really normal that sometimes business is fucking hard, that it takes work, all right. And even that, you know, sometimes you feel like, oh my gosh, why do these people have such unfair advantages, or why have they got all this success, and why does it look like they're, you know, skyrocketing, you know, off into the stars, or whatever it may be. And I always sort of go, well, are they? I don't know. Some are, some aren't, like, but it is a picture. Because marketing, in its own right, is really about, you know, elevating your perceived expertise, all right. So that people go, oh, I think I need to come and join that person. Wow, they're having a lot of amazing success, and look what they're up to. And they're saying all of these words that, you know, are dear to my heart. They're saying it can be flowy, and they're saying it's easy, and they're saying it can be fast, and, you know. And I truly believe that some of that is reality. Absolutely, yes. It can be easy. It should be. I want you enjoy fun, play, pleasure, passion. I want you following your greatest excitement, all right. And some days can fuck right off. That is business, okay. And that is simply important, you know, to know. Let me give you a quick little story, actually, about that. So one of our previous guests in season one was, in fact, Emma Nidoff. She is my high performance coach, and she is a high performance coach for, you know, other amazing humans out there. We've been working really closely together for, at this point in time, about 18 months, which is crazy, you know, in and around my own, you know, my health, my performance, my, you know, like results, you know, life, business, you know, all of the different things, all righty. Now, I can actually say this now. I wasn't able to say this at the time of the podcast with Emma. Emma is now an Olympic gymnast, all right. She has just been selected for the Olympic team. She, you know, she's off on her own amazing journey. You know, please go follow her, like, because she is genuinely inspiring. And I put a post up the other day, you know, sort of saying, look, you know, I, you know, I do, I find her so inspiring. But, I say that but, because I think that the word inspiring, like, oh my God, you're so inspiring, right. It's so thrown around that it potentially has lost a little bit of its meaning, you know, a little bit of its shine. And so, I want it to be really intentional and specific about what I personally find inspiring about Emma. Now, as I said, she has a little bit of her own story. She, you know, she air quotes retired from, you know, gymnastics twice, and she's 27. So, to be going, you know, to be selected as part of the Australian team, to be going to the Olympics as a 27-year-old gymnast is already insane in its own right. The more interesting thing, you know, I get goosebumps talking about it, the more interesting thing about that is that, in fact, you know, six months ago, she was not, like, Olympics ready. She didn't even know that she was going to, you know, like, trial for it and all the rest of it. So, in six months, you know, what an exceptional athlete. She was not in athletic form. She will tell you that herself. She was, you know, living her very, you know, hashtag best very human life, right, at 27, as you do. But so, it took her, you know, like, basically four months, four months, she just went, right, performance outcome, put in the fucking work, did all of the things and, you know, and now the result for that is being selected at the, you know, highest level that you possibly can be to go and represent our country at the Olympics. Now, the point of this story and in relation to It Takes Work is not that, oh my gosh, all the work that, you know, Emma put in and all the rest of it. What I found inspiring and what I wanted to say to her that I think is super important, to me, it's not the glitz. To me, it's not the glam. To me, it's not the, you know, the perfect land that she has done flipping off some fucking thing I couldn't even name and, you know, and then hitting the ground and then, like, ta-da, like all the beautiful gymnasts do. To me, the inspiration is not that she's now zipping around the place doing amazing interviews and things like that on the news and talking about her story and blah, blah, blah. To me, what I find so fucking inspiring is that I have an inkling, an ounce of understanding of what it fucking takes behind the scenes every fucking day to hold that level of performance, to hold that level of expertise, to continue to show up even when it fucking hurts, even when she is tired, even when she doesn't want to, you know, even when her emotions are getting the better of her, even when she is hormonal, even when, even when, even when, all right? And if you've ever seen the analogy, I suppose, of, like, you know, you see the ballerina and her beautiful, like, shoes, right, and then they take their shoes off and a ballerina's toes are beat up like a motherfucker. Like, honestly, they are bruised, they are bloodied, you know, they are calloused, they are bent, they are all kinds of things. Nobody gets to see what's underneath those ballerina shoes. All they see is the beautiful result, the gorgeousness, the makeup, the, you know, the flow, the ease of it all, right? To me, yes, I understand the front face of it all, but I also understand the fucking back, right? I understand what it fucking takes a human to master something. And not only that, you guys, and this is the lesson in this for you, so listen to me now, to choose it every single day. And Emma, as my little example today, Emma, you know, has to wake up every morning and go to sleep and in every moment, you know, bookends, right? Like, every moment of every day for the next however long until the Olympics, you know, and then the performance of the Olympics at the time, she has to continue to pick that opportunity. It's not just this opportunity has occurred, oh, I'm a business coach now, oh, I have a business now, or oh, I'm an Olympic athlete now, or whatever it is. It is every moment of every day, and it is especially the moments that everybody else cannot see. That is what I fucking find inspiring, all right? And so that, you know, and it's over, I could just end the podcast now, you guys, you know, 17 minutes in, we're done, all right? If you take nothing else from today, oh my gosh, please take that, you know, it takes work, all right? And it's not just the front end, beautiful, showing up, doing the thing kind of work that it takes. It takes you choosing, you know, your life, your business, this opportunity, like every moment of every day, even when it's tricky, even when it's hard, even when your hands are fucking calloused and bleeding, or your toes hurt, every fucking day you choose this opportunity, all right? That is what it takes, because some days, you know, yeah, your emotions are going to get the better of you, and some days, as we said before, you know, you're going to get overwhelmed, and you know, shit's hit the fan, and that day can fuck right up, absolutely, and that's okay to feel those things, and that's okay to have that day, and that moment, no worries, don't wrong it, it's going to occur, excuse me, but you know, then you get to choose, and it is a choice, and you have to choose the difficulty as well as the good, because you can't have one without the other, and that's the difference, you know, in what other business coaches would have you think, you know, and what I want you to simply know, all right? What it actually takes to choose your existence every single day, all righty? Now, number three, I guess, like, all of these are really interconnected, you guys, they're same, same, but different, they're extensions of themselves, all right? There are absolutely through lines. So, number three is stop sabotaging, all right? You need to stop sabotaging. Now, you've probably heard somebody say that before, that's maybe not groundbreaking and new, but what do I mean by stop sabotaging? Well, I mean that, you know, your business is not a personal extension of your worth as a human being on this planet, all right? Your business, and look, don't get me wrong here, you guys, like, you know, I have to, like, swallow my own pill, my own medicine here with this one as well. Your business is not a personal extension of your worth as a human being on this planet. And so, you need to stop sabotaging by tying your self-worth into what we call vanity metrics, all right? And vanity metrics is basically, like, the external validations that we get, you know, the little dopamine hits, you know, from whatever it is that looks like it's occurring out there in our business. So, if we are, you know, like, connecting our self-worth or our worth as a human being on this planet to our business in some way, then what that might look like is that, you know, you put up a post, all right? And the post gets no engagement, crickets you guys. And you thought, fuck, that was a really good post and I wanted engagement. And you're checking it and, like, nobody's liked it or anything or commented or something like that. And you're like, oh my gosh, like, I'm so fucking shit. Like, why? You know, why is nobody, like, paying attention to this? Why didn't I get any traction? Why does nobody want to join my program? Now, these are great. questions to ask in terms of business as a diagnostic, you guys, because that's true. Business is simply data. Business is data, you guys, all right? It is not an emotional extension, you know, of your worth as a human being on this planet. It isn't and shouldn't be tied into your emotions. Now, don't get me wrong, I'm not so heartless. Like, you know, I'm actually, you know, I'm all heart, right? Like, in terms of, like, how much, you know, responsibility and desire and care and, you know, and the love that we pour into our most amazing clients, absolutely, we do that. However, there is a bit of an analogy, let me give you another one, right? I can give you the car, okay? I can put the keys in, I can fill it with petrol, but I can't, you know, I can't drive it for you, okay? So we pour love and effort and care and strategy and, you know, and action and all the different things into our clients. But at the end of the day, you know, their results, your results are your own. And you can't be annoyed at the results you didn't get from the work you didn't do. And therefore, it is your job to take massive and radical self-responsibility for your actions, and therefore, your results, okay? And so, if it's to do with your clients, you need to have a little bit of discernment. That doesn't mean that you're not, you know, caring or tapped in or, you know, full of love or all of the different things, but it does mean that you understand that only they can drive the car, all right? And if it's in terms of, you know, external, like, you know, public facing engagement, you know, likes and loves and traction and things like that on social media, you are literally tying your self-worth as a human being on this planet into what we call vanity metrics, all right, and external validation. And you will always be disappointed if you are tying that, you know, your worth into external sources. You need to hold the belief in yourself. You need to have trust in yourself. You need to, you know, know that intrinsically, right, like, you are a human of integrity and you are out there doing good in this world, and that doesn't mean that you don't need to learn a little bit more about business and strategy and things like that. That's why I'm here to help as your business mentor now, right? You know, we're married. Like, I am emotionally invested in your success. I promise you that, all righty. But, you know, it starts with you stopping sabotaging, all right? Jeez, that was a brain breaker for a second there. You need to stop sabotaging. It's that simple, all right? So, hold the belief in yourself. Hold your certainty. Know that you're a human of integrity, going out there to do good things, and that, anything else, you know, around that is simply a skill set that you are yet to learn. And so, that might be marketing, and that might be social media, and that might be, you know, businessing broadly as a whole. That might be lead generation. That might be sales. These are skill sets, all right? This is business and business data. It is not connected to your worth, your worthiness, you know, your enoughism, and those kinds of things. You need to have discernment around that. And if you don't, you know, maybe come and have a conversation with me, all right? Like, let's figure something out. Number four, again, really, I'm intrinsically connected to the rest of them. Number four is, breathe into this one, you guys. This one sucks a little bit, all right? Number four of the unsexy truths in business is that somebody is going to say something bad about you at some point in time, all right? Someone is going to absolutely speak badly about you. They're going to say some shit that you know is not true and is not real, you know, and all the rest of it. They are going to post something online. They are going to comment onto something. They are going to, you know, maybe unfortunately, and I even don't even like the energy of having to say this out loud, but maybe they're going to have a little bitch amongst themselves or whatever it is, all right? Somebody is going to speak badly about you at some point in time. You can't be so precious to have that throw you off your goals and your mission. So many dreams are crushed and thrown to the wayside by people giving up on them. It's not because somebody said something bad. It's not that external, right? External person's fault. The challenging piece is, is that when we've then somehow taken that thing that they've said, you know, and we've taken it to heart and we allow it to somehow deter us or throw us or, you know, whatever, like off our own game. And to be honest with you, a little extension of that, and everyone breathe into this, the extension of that generally is that nobody can actually throw you all that much or have you believing something, you know, or feeling bad about something that for some reason you don't already believe to be true about yourself. All right, breathe that one in for a second. If somebody puts something, you know, a comment online or they say terrible things about you, don't get me wrong. It doesn't mean, you know, and I've had many occasions of this, unfortunately. It just comes with business growth, you know, over, you know, 10 years of doing what I do now and 20 years contained within business. But at some point in time, you know, people have said some shit about me and that is okay. And there are a couple of levels and layers to that as well, you guys. So level one is, you know, level one is like, okay, well, somebody has said something bad about me and, you know, and I let it throw me and I hide in the background of my business and I fear being judged and so I don't take action. I don't go out there and do all the things, you know, and it's this like entirely, you know, emotional upheaval that is probably based in the fact that it's grinding up against something that you already believe about yourself. That is why it hurts. All right, that is level one. That perhaps there is an edge of healing or something along those lines that they have managed, you know, it's like, oh, like that thing was just bubbling under the surface like for you already anyway. You know, it could be that you think you're an imposter or a fraud and then somebody says, oh gosh, you know, this chick doesn't know what she's talking about. And you're like, oh my God, like they know, you know, that I don't know what the fuck I'm talking about and now everyone's saying this or whatever it might be, right? It's snowballs because there's that little part inside of you that already thought you were an imposter anyway. All right, and now vanity metrics, somebody said some shit, right, and you're not holding the belief in yourself enough, you know, so that has managed to grind against something that you already believe to be true, you know, inherently about you anyway. That's why it hurts because if you don't believe it to be true, it doesn't hurt you guys. So that's level one. Level two is then, you know, the amazing saying, and I truly believe this to be true, my mum taught me the lesson, if it says more about them than it does you anyway, right? It says more about them than it does you anyway. You know, if they've gotten together or if somebody said something awful on social media or, you know, whatever it might be, it says more about them than it does anyway, you know, than it does you anyway, all right? And so often I just feel a little bit sorry for them, to be honest with you, all right? And that's level three. Let me finalize actually level two for a second. Level two, it says more about them than it does you anyway, all right? Sometimes that can have a little bit of an emotional load and what that might look like is, oh well, you know, it says more about them than it does me anyway, all righty? And it's kind of like you can hear how there is still a bit of an emotional load in there and that's basically like eating poison yourself, you know? It's not hurting them but you still have this poison inside of you, you know? Level one is like, oh my god, it's grinding against something I already believe about myself anyway and they know, they've found me out, I'm such a fucking fraud, I don't know what the fuck I'm talking about and now other people are saying that too, shit, you know? And just being completely thrown by the whole thing and again, allowing your dreams to go to the wayside, level one. Level two, you know, is oh well, it says more about them than it does me anyway but it's got a little bit of fucking attitude to it. So it's like, yeah, like that's fine, like good luck to them, no worries, like, right? And you can hear that that kind of thinking, it's still poison because it's still living inside of you. Now level three to that is, look, I do truly believe it does say more about them than it does me anyway but also as I started to say, you know, I feel like, I feel a lot of compassion for them and I feel a little bit sorry for them and not attitude like feeling sorry for them, you know? But genuinely so because I understand and, you know, and I want to bring forward to you now, I understand that somebody who is that poisonous, you know, that they would say these awful things under whatever circumstance, you know, it has occurred, all right? That somebody who is willing to say that kind of a thing anyway, think about what they're saying to themselves in their own head because if they're being that judgmental of you, guaranteed what we know to be true is that their internal dialogue of themselves is going to be 10 times more judgmental than how they are judging you. That is how judgment works, all right? It isn't indiscriminate, it isn't indiscriminate, all right? They are judging themselves even worse in relation to their existence, their life, beating themselves up, how they're moving through this world and I know that and so one, it does say more about them than it does me anyway. Two, it does not grind against me if I simply understand that what they're saying is not true and I hold the belief in myself and I know I'm a human of integrity and that doesn't mean that I don't take on board feedback and things like that, of course, but I'm mindful of where the feedback is coming from and under what kind of pretense, you know? And then on top of that, it's like, wow, if they're saying something so horrible about me and then, you know, if they've gone to somebody else or, you know, however it has come about, you know, I sit there and go, gosh, what is it that they're saying about themselves as well? And often, you know, again, the next extension of that, of a level of understanding, you guys, is that generally judgment, you know, it often runs in families and so it means that that level of judgment has probably come from a parent who is either judging themselves horribly and harshly, you know, themselves as well or, you know, that person has grown up in a hugely, horribly, you know, like judgmental environment where they had a parent who was quite hard on them and judgmental and that's what's created the pattern in their brain where they are now being horrible and judgmental not only to themselves but then externally as well because it's the only way that they can feel like as if they have lifted themselves up in some way too because their internal dialogue around themselves is so fucking bad, all right? So again, when I see these things out there and I go, oh my gosh, like, you know, wow, like somebody just said something terrible or awful or whatever it might be, like, I go, gosh, it says more about them than it does me anyway and I actually feel genuinely not from like, oh, feeling sorry for them but from a genuine place of understanding the pattern that has created that, I do feel really sorry for them because I think, gosh, what are you saying to yourself, all right? Now, let me give you a little bit of a funny example. I had this scenario a little while ago now where, and I don't think I've told you guys on the podcast, so let me tell you now. So I had this scenario, it was quite funny, where, you know, I think I put a post up or an ad up or something like that and it was a video of me, you know, and I had, you know, I had a decent amount of makeup on, I think I had brightly colored eyes, you know, something like that, you know, not as, I mean, I'm not too overdone today, this is me. I've got glitter on my face, you guys, but that's me, you know, at base level. But anyway, that day, look, I was a multi-colored, you know, whatever unicorn that I had gone out there in. Anyway, so that video, I put it up and this person, I use this term loosely, this gentleman, you know, commented underneath it and what I found so amazing and so, to be honest with you, hilarious about his comment was that it was so clear that he had really, really thought about it, you know, really thought about how can I, you know, whatever, like verbally attack this, you know, woman, like I didn't know who he was, I had no idea who he was and, you know, he's still nobody to me and he had no idea who I was, but he really actually genuinely, you know, like trolled it, like fucking, you know, a thousand percent and actually thought about like how can I fuck this chick up, like genuinely, right? And so, he said something like, like fuck off or shut up, or I think it was both, it was like fuck off, you know, shut up, you scamming, you scamming, frumpy, too much, you know, makeup wearing, ugly bitch and I was like, wow, like shut the fuck up, you know, or fuck off, you scamming, too much, you know, frumpy, ugly, too much makeup wearing bitch and I was like, wow, like he really thought about that, you know, he thought number one, like an amazing way to attack females is to call them, you know, frumpy, ugly, like fat, like this kind of thing, you know, bitch or whatever, you know how I know this, you guys, because I used to be a bouncer, all right, so don't hold that against me, it's because I really, I actually, you know, really dislike violence, but I also understand that, you know, I, back in the day, I was very much able to do something about that, I could defend myself, I could defend others and I, you know, and that could include using this brain and this mouth to step in before something escalated and things like that, so I was a bouncer, I was a violent venues guard, I don't know if we've had that conversation, let's not, you know, so I went to the worst of the worst places to help get them off the violent venues lists, all right, now I can't tell you the amount of times that I've been called a fat bitch, like you fucking fat bitch, right, like as in total disgust, fucking nose turned up, like, you know, whatever, because I cut somebody off and said, no, you can't have any more alcohol tonight, you know, like that was probably dribbling on themselves and half passed out on a table or whatever it might be, right, and it's such an interesting go-to, you know, and so I know that like very, very personally, right, how much of a go-to it is to attack women based on, you know, their looks, based on their weight, you know, calling them a bitch and things like that, like all of these kinds of things, and so this, you know, air quotes gentleman on this, you know, on this post that said, you know, like shut up, like fuck off you frumpy, you know, like I'm scamming, right, wow, amazing, you know, too much weight makeup wearing bitch, right, now let's think about that for a second, I could have, if for some reason any of that, you know, grounded or grinded against, you know, something that I believe to be true about myself, like, oh my gosh, people are going to think I'm a fucking scam or he's right, like, you know, I do air quotes have too much makeup on, like, you know, even if, like let me tell you guys something, because I think about this one as well, because I do, I wear a lot of makeup sometimes, but just bright colors and different things and dead glitter and all the rest of it, I do it because it makes me happy and not that I'm trying to justify to you, but I'm giving you the example, I do it because it makes me happy, not happy because I somehow think that I'm less than and I require that amount of makeup or whatever, like to me, putting glitter on my face is like the external representation of how I truly feel about myself on the inside anyway, you know, and so if I've got a bright colored eyeshadow on and some, you know, nice lips and like, you know, and something like that, it's because I actually feel really fucking good about myself, you know, and I'm, you know, it's this outward extension of, you know, how I already truly feel about myself on the inside. Now, if that makeup was in some way, you know, because I felt bad about myself and thought, gosh, I need to cover up, you know, all of this and like, blah, blah, blah, could you imagine how that, you know, that sentence from that, you know, human, right, would have grinded against something that I already truly believed about myself anyway, and that could have absolutely completely thrown me, deterred me, gotten under my skin, right, I'm, you know, sat there thinking I'm ugly, I'm frumpy, like I wear so much makeup because, you know, I feel shit about myself, I don't want people to know, like there's something I'm hiding, I must be, you know, I'm a scammer, I'm, you know, I'm an imposter, like any one of those things, if true, could have gotten under my skin and could have completely deterred me, all right, but they didn't because, you know, all right, it says more about him than it does me anyway, I felt really bad and also, to be honest with you, I was a little fucking impressed, you know, I was so impressed because I was like, man, that person actually sat there and, you know, really thought about it and to be honest with you, I think I left the comment up because I was like, this is kind of funny and now everybody else has to see this man's, you know, comment, right, like of, you know, what he's decided to say, I was like, all right, no worries, like cool, thanks bro, like, like it was so interesting to me, any single one of those things could have hurt me and not a single one of them did, right, because I know I'm a human of integrity, I do what I do because I love it for me, you know, to be that outward reflection of how I feel on the inside, not because I need external validation from other people thinking anything about me, it's got nothing to do with that, you know, and, you know, and whatever else, right, so look, there is a beautiful long-winded story for you about my bouncer days and also, you know, advertising but that's the thing, especially if you're advertising out there, if you are putting yourself out there a hundred percent at some point in time, somebody is going to say some fucked up shit about you and so if we just understand that, then when it happens, you go, oh wow, like, oh my goodness, you know, okay, you know, and you're going to have a bit of an emotion the first time it happens, for sure, for sure, I'm not saying don't have the emotion, don't be like, oh my god, I can't believe they've said that and like, you know, like, but you can't always control your first thought or your first emotion but you can generally control your second, so take it through the layers, step one, oh my god, I'm having a meltdown, I can't believe they've just said that, hang on, let me take a breath for a second, Sky said it says more about them than it does me anyway, well, you know, like, fuck them for saying that, hang on, actually, I don't need to carry an emotional load around this, is there a piece of this that, you know, that is grinding against, that's healing in me, thank you, thank you for showing me one of my edges, you know, and I feel really bad for you because I know that you're probably speaking to yourself even worse and that's how you move through it, all right, until that just becomes your, you know, like, that just becomes the norm anyway, all righty, now the last one, we've made it, number five of the five unsexy truths of business that your business coach doesn't want you to know but I'm your business coach now and so I'm going to tell you, number five is, you've probably heard this one before as well, you need to not be a perfectionist, all right, you need to not be a perfectionist, you have to understand, let's expand on that, I don't want to give you just the fucking beige version of these things, all right, you guys, stop sabotaging, you're going to be overwhelmed, all right, no perfectionism, fuck that, let's actually like, you know, deep dive it, so business is data, business is a big motherfucking experiment, every day, every week, every month, every year, business is an experiment, all right, it is all about testing, measuring, adapting, testing, measuring, adapting, testing, measuring, adapting, if you have something that works really well, you do more of that, if you have something that isn't working, you know, optimally, you know, you try to maximize it, so it then, you know, is working really well, so you can then do more of it, if you have something that is not working at all, cool, no worries, maybe you need to add a little bit of something new, but we do that in that order, all right, more of what is working really amazingly well in your business, maximize and optimize some things that are maybe not working so well, that you could increase, and the third thing, and what I see too many businesses do too often, is that they just throw in the new thing, they're like, okay, this isn't working, I need to do something new, all right, without actually reading the business data, as to what is really happening, not happening, you know, testing, measuring, and adapting that thing, okay, you can't expect to go fishing, throw in your, you know, fishing line, and a fish to jump on the end of your hook every single time, it just, it isn't realistic, so why do we somehow expect that in business, it's just not how business works, you have to go out there, into the big bad world of business as an experiment, all right, you need to fuck shit up, all right, you need to get it wrong, all right, you need to fuck shit up, you need to get it wrong, you know, you need to, whatever, like, you know, pour a different chemical into the fucking beaker that is business, okay, test, measure the success of something, understand if something is or isn't working, know what to do then, if it is working really well, let's, you know, let's do more of that. if it's not quite optimized yet, let's maximize and optimize it so that it is working, so that we can do more of it, right? And if shit, after testing, measuring, adapting, testing, measuring, adapting, testing, measuring, adapting, and it's still not working, all right, maybe then we need to implement something a little bit new, all right? So it's so, so, so important. Perfectionism, look, you know, let's extend that a little bit in terms of the behavioral science portion of it. Perfectionism is inherently attached to judgment, all right? So, you know, not wanting to put something out there until it's perfect, until it's, you know, 100% done. But it is so much, you know, business requires you to put something out there and learn the lessons in real time so that you can, in fact, adapt it and understand that it is, as we've spoken about today, business data, that it's not inherently, you know, attached to your personal worthiness as a human being on this planet or your emotions on any given day or your vanity metrics, all right? Go out there, fuck something up, go, oh my gosh, well, that didn't work, cool, no worries, you know? Especially on social media, you guys, social media is so flippant. They're today, gone tomorrow, they're today, gone tomorrow, all right? So if you didn't get an engagement on a post yesterday, nobody fucking knows, just you. You're the only one paying attention to that, nobody else cares, you know? They're probably sitting there thinking, wow, you know, I'm so impressed that, you know, that you're showing up day after day after day. And another extension, you know, of the perfectionism and the fear of judgment and, you know, hiding in the background waiting for something to be perfect is the fact that generally you aren't in fear of the greater community, of the whole public, you know, somehow judging you, you are normally in fear of a select few. And so if you can figure out, you know, who that select few is that you are fearing the judgment of, so it could be your family, right? Or it could be your partner even, it could be your friends that you think, oh my gosh, but if I go out there and I put myself out every day and, you know, and they're seeing me fail and they're going to judge me and then they're going to think I'm shit and I'm going to lose all of my friends or they're going to think I'm a bit of a pest and I'm annoying or something like that. See how that's not everyone? You're not worried about the judgment of everybody, you're probably worried about the judgment of a select few. And if you can figure out who that is and you can flip it in some way, right? Like, let's face it, if it's your friends as an example, you know, don't you think that your true friends like want your success? Don't they want to see you showing up as your highest best version of yourself and out there living your best fucking life every single day, putting yourself out there and actually trying, right? And generally, like, let me say another thing, nobody punches, nobody, well, let me make sure I say it right. Hang on, everyone breathe. Nobody punches, nobody punches down. Nobody, I was about to say it the wrong way. I was like, hang on, that's not right. Nobody punches down, you guys. Nobody punches down. What does that mean? It means that nobody that has more success than you is going to look back at you, you know, wherever you are on your spectrum of a journey right now, you know, and judge you harshly for it because the rest of us in every way, shape and form absolutely know, you know, what it's taken behind the scenes for you to get to the place that you are at right now and for you to continue. What did I say before? For you to continue every single day to select this opportunity, for you to pick and choose entrepreneurship and, you know, whatever it is that you may do as your own business, you have not picked an easy route and people do not understand that and that is okay, all right, but I get it. I fucking get it. I know what it takes for you to have to show up every single day, for you to step through edges that you didn't even know was there, for you to pick courage, for you to take action, for you to put yourself out there knowing, you know, like I said to you today, that at some point in time, 100% you are absolutely going to get ridiculed and yet we still choose this every single day. We choose to go after our dreams, all right, and so anyone that you are worried about judging you for that, whether it's family, friends, partnerships, whatever it may be because it probably isn't the greater overall, you know, public, right, you would think that if they truly love you, then they would want to see you in your greatest levels of success anyway and at some point in time as well, you know, we need to not use them as an excuse for you to not succeed, all right, you got to sit in fear and do it anyway. Cosmic Money the podcast, the strategy and energetics of seven-figure business.